Albuyeh ยท 3454 points ยท Posted at 08:43:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used to have one of those 'clap on, clap off' lights in my room. I hated clapping so I just made an audio recording of me clapping and mapped it to one of the programmable keys on my keyboard.
[deleted] ยท 308 points ยท Posted at 18:41:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hated clapping
I didn't even know that could be a thing. Either way; that's funny.
j1mb0b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:39 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hated clapping
Everyone hates The Clap.
mclaclan ยท 260 points ยท Posted at 15:25:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that is really lazy.
Evref ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 18:00:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, this guy should win thread, and it's prize: a year's worth of I.V. injectable meals.
hypnofed ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's the opposite of lazy. It sounds like it was tons of work compared to the alternative.
Gersio ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 20:35:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So now instead of turning the light off clapping you just press a button. That's brilliant!
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 21:14:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same as my house! It's called a light switch.
Shoden ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:34:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's a switch you have to reach for, a keyboard button you just have to slightly move a finger. Pioneering laziness.
Either I'm missing something, or you're missing something. The top post is about moving a ship to avoid the sun. The one I commented on is about making an audio recording instead of clapping.
Ziazan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:58:52 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What you're missing is it's now at the top of that thread.
I sometimes need to microwave something for 1:20 seconds. I just use 1:23 because I just need to slide my finger over the 3 buttons, since they're flat.
My microwave lets me press start and it automatically cooks for a minute so if I want to cook something for 1:30 I just press start twice and open it when there's 30 seconds left.
Alternatively, I also just cook it for 2 minutes and wait for it to cool.
Machegav ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:53:40 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like this for containers with no handles, but rotating microwaves will do a full rotation once every ten seconds, so if you want to grasp the handle the same way taking it out, doing it in multiples of ten is preferred.
demicus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But.... the 0 is on the way to the start button! They literally live on the same street as each other, in fact they're next door neighbors.
iNyano ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:25 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some microwaves start automatically after hitting three numbers.
I have a dog and a cat, and I HATE sleeping with the door open. Sometimes dog wants to sleep in the bedroom, sometimes dog wants to sleep outside the bedroom. But he never decides until I'm comfy in bed. Solution? Keep a laser pointer on my nightstand. Once dog decides where he's sleeping, I'll shine the laser pointer on the door so that my cat paws it closed. It has now become a routine that my cat will wait by the door for the laser before laying down.
[deleted] ยท 516 points ยท Posted at 08:55:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
genius.
The_Sven ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:38:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And adorable.
Kastoli ยท 3457 points ยท Posted at 09:41:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Always give the hardest task to the laziest person, because they'll figure out the easiest way to do it."
-Somebody, Somewhere, Sometime
Seriously... It's things like this that just prove it right.
To be fair the people that tend to work at places like Microsoft are brilliant because they have the ability to pick the best and brightest. But you're right, you have to take this quote with a grain of salt, this isn't a free pass to be lazy, you have to be intelligent too.
Brilliant people can often be perceived a a lazy as well (which is probably largely your point). Some people only pick up on visible displays of hard graft and don't see the mental gymnastics going on behind what seem like simple "lazy" solutions.
It's analogous to the duck gracefully gliding across the lake. Look below the surface and its legs are working furiously.
Exactly... the prerequisite is not being lazy... it is being capable of independently solving problems. After that, being lazy can actually be an asset.
The difference between the two types of laziness is that all the people that the quote refers to would still have done the job manually if their clever ideas didn't work and it got close to the deadline, they'll just try every other easy method first.
propool ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:27:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you give six hours to do a task I will spend 4 fours to research how to do it in 10 minutes. Yes I am a programmer :)
If Windows and other OSes were perfect, along with the little minutiae that make them up, then there be little need for word processor software. As is, you get some really cool shit if you want to have the balls to make it.
But in all seriousness, I'm pretty skeptical that it is an actual quote, I just haven't seen it sourced to anyone else.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:11:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
This joke is made in every single thread where there is a quote. At least the other guy went with Jesus instead of Abe Lincoln for the millionth time.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:31:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ok I'll delete it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cool! Remember, if you read the joke on Reddit, don't contribute to the circle jerk and retell the joke on reddit.... like this whole thread.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But that's the only way to make karma
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
True, but just remember this: When you see a user with tons of karma, do you think "Wow, that guy is so cool!"? Or do you think "Wow, that''s kind of pathetic..."?
There was also a documentary on lazy people at one point or other, think I saw it on TLC or something. Dude being interviewed is admittedly very lazy. They interviewed his boss and he gave this same answer, as this "very lazy" person became apparently very efficient at getting things done with the minimal amount of man hours, and was thus paid very handsomely.
The actual quote is, "I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job because he will find an easy way to do it." -Bill Gates
The Encyclopaedia Britannica lists Walter Chrysler as having said this before Bill Gates was ever born:
He was famous for having said, โWhenever there is a hard job to be done I assign it to a lazy man; he is sure to find an easy [i.e., efficient] way of doing it.โ
-Unknown (This quotation is attributed to David Dunham on many web sites, but when contacted David said "I believe I first ran into the saying in the early 1980s, but I didn't remember or record the original source.")
12Valv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome
omganesh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I saw this Bill Gates quote, it reminded me of Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord, about dividing his officers into four groups:
"Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the intellectual clarity and the composure necessary for difficult decisions."
I like how he assumes that the lazy person will be male :L
zublits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I never liked this quote. There's a big difference between lazy and efficient. Lazy is what I'm doing right now: sitting on reddit wasting time. Lazy people aren't ingenious because they are too lazy to get anything done.
Coldheat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer the saying "work smart, not hard" .....it makes me sound less lazy....even though it has exactly the same meaning.
xana452 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I do shit like this too, but I wast a lot of time coming up with the easiest way to do something, but I guess it's not a waste if it's something I have to do frequently.
When I was a kid a had a bunk bed and my bedroom was 9x9 so if I used a stick I could shut my bedroom door, turned the lights out and change the channel on my 13" TV with a missing remote.
I also had a "trash funnel" at the foot of my bed so I could just throw my trash in that general direction and it would make it into the trash bag.
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Aye, but it'll give you a process.
tmama1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel a company could start up and use this tag line
No it doesn't prove this quote correct at all. Most people in this thread would never succeed at that. His laziness was countered by the fact he tried to find a solution. Most of the laziness here is no effort to find a solution. It only occasionally shows that this quote is correct.
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The quote only applies when 'no solution' isn't an acceptable conclusion. I.E. A work environment.
or they will just not do it..
like i am doing right now
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Like I said somewhere else, it only really applies where no solution isn't a viable conclusion. It has to be/will be done one way, and you're more than likely to find the easiest/quickest way.
It probably would have built an arduino bot to do it. Lord knows you can never trust a cat to be anything but useless.
ginfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's a wonder no one have asked me to discover the meaning of life and to figure out a way to make interstellar travel work yet.
...yet...
dinoroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Where I work, the lazy person just waits for someone else to pick up the slack, proving that they are useless. That strategy would also work a lot better if people picked up the flack a lot faster at my work.
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
apaq11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather actually had a good quote about this to me. It went something like this: "Apaq11, you're going to make a good engineer because you're lazy and you're smart. You will never do anything the hard way."
I appreciate you not bothering to look up the actual quote. Whatever that is.
Baljet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord:
I divide my officers into four groups. There are clever, diligent, stupid, and lazy officers. Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and diligent -- their place is the General Staff. The next lot are stupid and lazy -- they make up 90 percent of every army and are suited to routine duties. Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the intellectual clarity and the composure necessary for difficult decisions. One must beware of anyone who is stupid and diligent -- he must not be entrusted with any responsibility because he will always cause only mischief.
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:00 on December 21, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yay! Necro
Poonsack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bill Gates
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Awesome!
mrsquare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to source the quote?
vveurk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's like that (apocryphal) story about the toothpaste factory.
A toothpaste factory had a problem. They sometimes shipped empty boxes without the tube inside. This was caused by the way the production line was set up, and people with experience in designing production lines will tell you how difficult it is to have everything happen with timings so precise that every single unit coming out of it is perfect 100% of the time. Small variations in the environment (which canโt be controlled in a cost-effective fashion) mean you must have quality assurance checks smartly distributed across the line so customers all the way down to the supermarket donโt get angry and buy another product instead.
Understanding how important that was, the CEO of the toothpaste factory got the top people in the company together and they decided to start a new project in which they would hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem since their engineering department was already too stretched to take on any extra effort.
The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP and third-parties selected. Six months (and $8 million) later, they had a fantastic solution - on time, on budget, high quality and everyone in the project had a great time. They solved the problem by using high-tech precision scales that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box would weigh less than it should. The line would stop and someone would have to walk over and yank the defective box out of it, pressing another button when done to restart the line.
A while later, the CEO decides to have a look at the ROI of the project and sees amazing results! No empty boxes ever shipped out of the factory after the scales were put in place. There were very few customer complaints and they were gaining market share. โThatโs some money well spent!,โ he says, before looking closely at the other statistics in the report.
It turns out the number of defects picked up by the scales was zero after three weeks of production use. It should have been picking up at least a dozen a day, so maybe there was something wrong with the report. He filed a bug against it and after some investigation, the engineers came back saying the report was actually correct. The scales really werenโt picking up any defects because all boxes that got to that point in the conveyor belt were good.
Puzzled, the CEO travels down to the factory and walks up to the part of the line where the precision scales are installed.
A few feet before the scale was an inexpensive desk fan blowing the empty boxes out of the belt and into a bin.
โOh, that,โ says one of the workers, โone of the guys put it there โcause he was tired of walking over every time the bell rang.โ
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard that before, but differently, and I do love it.
Beside the fact that I love you having a dog AND a cat, or that you let them in the bedroom, I like you being smart about your dogs indecisiveness by using the cats playfulness!
I inadvertently trained my cat to sit in front of my TV, blocking my view. She went through this period where she sat on the TV stand right on front of the screen. She wouldn't move if I yelled at her. I didn't want to squirt water at my electronics. I'd have to get up and start moving towards her before she would jump down.
I came up with the bright idea that I'd use a laser pointer to get her attention and jump down and play with it. Well, I did that a few times and then she associated blocking the TV with "laser fun time". She would block the TV and stare at me until I got the laser pointer out.
TL;DR My cat trained me.
snupicel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
why do you HATE sleeping with the door open? what the fuck is wrong with you?
This is one of the smartest things I've ever read on this website. Right up there with the kid whose Mother jerked him off because he lost the use of his arms.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would never sleep because I"d have to neurotic mammals tweaking and obsessively looking for a tiny red dot, for hours.
The best part is that your cat doesn't even realize he's been trained.
whatiznt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, that's just genius.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's freaking brilliant.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I, too, prefer too sleep with my door closed. And, I, too, have a slight dog problem. My dog always leaves right after I have found that sweet spot. In order to close the door he rudely leaves open I leave various heavy objects on the floor by my bed, usually shoes, and then throw them at the door until the door closes.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just discovered the laser pointer trick the other day. My dog wants to go out to pee, but doesn't want to come inside right away. Solution: make him chase the laser pointer around the yard once or twice then make him follow it into the house.
wolfkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
it's supposed to be "lazy" not "ingenious"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ate fried chicken while taking a shit once. I was really hungry and also needed to take a massive shit.
TheKyleP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a door sized black-out curtain and a spring loaded door sized curtain rod for this problem. Hanging that up was a life changing event for me. Cats come and go as they wish and I get to sleep in a dark room.
You have me seriously considering moving my bed to the wall opposite my door because I have the exact same problem. Indecisive dog, cat in my room, hated open door, all of it.
I hate sleeping with the door open, but my cat likes to go in and out of my room, so I hung a weight on the door frame with a string over the door. So my door automatically closes.
Reminds me of something I did. My bed was on the same wall as the bedroom door and my cat and dog also like to wander at night, so I tied a length of yarn to the door knob and wrapped the other end around my headboard. I could open or close the door by pulling on the string.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sad that I can't do this because my bedroom door opens out into the hallway. I think I might take a weekend and change that now. I will go to pretty extreme lengths if it will facilitate laziness in the future. It's all about net work over time.
frrrni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A cat activated device. This is some flinstones shit.
I never fully close my door so my cat may come and go as she pleases and I don't have to get out of bed to open the door for her. :)
Or hear her attack the door when she isn't on the side she wants to be on at the moment.. >:/
ljog42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is... absolutely brilliant
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How does your cat get out? Does it not shit in your room overnight?
Drakoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, it's ingenuity! Well...and a little lazy.
brohan28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta shoot this and upload on YouTube.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Be careful doing this. Laser pointers can bring out OCD in dogs and cause them to chase lights and shadows. Unfortunately I was unaware of this and fucked up my girlfriends dog :(
Ecuacuba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you sir, have just won the upvote lottery
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This guy has life figured out right here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are a freaking genius. Cats are for commies and commies are stupid. But apparently there are exceptions to the rule, Mr. Genius
Brilliant!!! Now how to open it in the morning for the cat who cuts off my last half hour of sleep EVERY SINGLE DAY because he'd rather be first in line by the shower for drippy-water-Funtime
My wife bought my kids this massive outdoor playhouse because it was on sale for $500.
I invited my buddy over, who happens to be an engineer, had a prejob discussion about following the instruction manual no matter how small the print/photos so that we could eliminate re-work, and after getting through 1/4 of it we decided it would be easier to tear it down and return it. We broke it down and put it back in the box, which was actually harder then you think, and continued to drink beer for the next 8 hours.
Needless to say my wife, and kids, were not impressed...
laziness that day = drunk and vindicated
GOwisc08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i was laying in bed with the light on and wanted to go to sleep with it off. i called my house from my cell phone and asked for myself in a disguised voice. when my mom came in to bring me the phone i asked her to turn the light out when she left. hung up both phones and went to sleep
I read this on reddit somewhere in the last couple of months, but I'm too lazy to look it up. I'll just assume it's not a repost instead.
TupperWolf ยท 13376 points ยท Posted at 08:56:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but this one is too good to pass up:
I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.
But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.
He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.
Stelfury ยท 4507 points ยท Posted at 09:06:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is one of the greatest things I have ever read.
benshmuel ยท 799 points ยท Posted at 12:48:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Sometimes, oh so rarely, at a place you least expect it, you read something truly, mind boggelingly, glorious.
TupperWolf, that was beautifully executed, but dude, be honest - you've probably told that story to so many people by now you have it down to the syallable and the exact length of the dramatic pauses...
[deleted] ยท 241 points ยท Posted at 15:44:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There are stories that are just that good. I'm the same way with the two stories I have of being pulled over by police in the past several years. The first one, Chuck Norris personally, in the flesh, got me out of the ticket. The second one involved me getting asked if I was a steer or a queer.
benshmuel ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 18:48:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The actual Chuck Norris? Oh pray do tell... (even if it doesn't involve laziness)
The year was 2006. I moved to College Station, TX, homeless and broke. Working my day job barely paid enough to live on, much less save enough to pay down debt and buy a house. I took a job during early mornings and late nights driving limos to the airport to make some cash on the side. Four hours of driving paid about $100 plus tip. I'd usually have one to two runs per week, and I was one of the few reliable drivers the guy had willing to do those runs -- the rest were tweakers or college students or only wanted daytime runs.
Normally, I'd just get a call that I had a run and that I should just show up, the limo would be prepped and ready except for ice in the coolers, and I'd do the run. But the office gal called me and told me to come in, boss wanted to see me.
Turns out he had a special run. In this case, it would be an evening run into IAH (Bush Intercontinental in Houston, about 120 miles or an hour a half depending on where in town you're coming from.) and the passenger was ... Chuck Norris. The ranch that Mr. Norris had retired to was just south of College Station, on the north side of Navasota, almost to Anderson. Boss man tells me to play it cool -- I'd gotten the gig because I was the only person he could count on not to screw it up.
So I pick him up .. big property, he's shorter than I expected and is starting to look REALLY old, but he's exceptionally polite. I do the normal stand and hold the door to the limo thing, he says that he wanted to get there a little early to meet someone in the Admiral's Lounge (or whatever it's called these days) for a drink, so could I please "kick it up a notch." I say, "Yes, Sir!"
Headed south on highway 6, when you cross into Waller Co., the speed limit drops from 70 (at the time, now 75) to 65 and lower. There's usually a state trooper or a county cop sitting a little bit past there running laser. It's a bit hilly, so you won't know if there's a cop on the next hill until you crest a hill. I was booking along at ten over... and since I'd been told to "kick it up a notch," I was scouting pretty carefully, but didn't actually slow down. And, of course, right in the median behind a bush, right before 290 where the speed limit actually drops to 55, there was a state trooper that I didn't spot in time to drop 20mph from a three ton limo without slamming on the brakes.
The trooper pulls me over, does the usual license check, and asks me, "Where you headed to?" "Bush intercontinental, sir." "Before I write you a ticket that'll get your Houston livery license pulled, do you have anything to say for yourself?" "Chuck Norris told me to kick it up a notch, sir."
I got the world's worst "pull the other one" look. And then Chuck Norris rolled his window down, stuck his head out, and said "Sorry, I wanted to get to the airport early. If you want to give anyone a ticket, I'll take it." This was right after Chuck Norris was made an honorary Texas Ranger. The trooper said, "That won't be necessary, sir. Slow down and have a nice flight."
Yeah, you can. Livery licenses are issued by municipalities in Texas, and are only important inside that municipality -- but you need one to drop someone or pick someone up at IAH and HOU, among other places. In most cases livery licenses only apply to the operator, but in Houston, it is a separate license that requires a clean driving record, regular drug tests, etc. Houston will use any excuse to revoke someone's livery license.
So it's not like losing my driver's license, but for the twenty over I happened to be doing right there where he clocked me (maybe a quarter mile before a ramp... ), yeah, I could have lost the ability to pick up or drop people off in Houston.
I was headed to my grandparents' house in Hot Springs, Arkansas. At the time (still around 2006) I was working for Texas A&M University's Athletics department -- and we were issued aggie everything, from sneakers and workout pants to t-shirts and baseball caps. Not having had new clothes in a coon's age, I was wearing what I was issued, so I was decked out head to toe in maroon.
I got off of I-30 to find a Wal-Mart to buy my grandmother flowers. I was buzzing along a back road that was supposed to lead to a town and just enjoying the greenery and twisty roads compared to the flat and brown that I was used to. But I was most certainly out in the "hills an' hollers," the parts of Arkansas where people have two teeth per family and banjo music wafts softly on the breeze.
And then I checked my rearview mirror, and saw SHERIFF spelled backwards about three feet off my bumper. As soon as I took my foot off the gas, he hit the lights. I pulled over.
He gets out of the car and it's like seeing Beaufort T. Justice climbing out of a modern Crown Vic -- he's got the sunglasses, mustache, hat, and all. He sticks his thumbs through his belt loops and swaggers up to the car.
I hand him my ID, and he says, "College Station, eh? I ain't seen nuttin' come outta College Station but steeeeers an' queeeeeeers -- An' I don't see no horns on you, boy!"
In a flash of brilliance, I said, in my best faux southern accent, "Well, sir, I'm workin' fer the Aggies now, and I reckon they done sawed 'em off." (This is a reference to the Texas A&M fight song/war hymn, which has "Saw Texas' Horns Off" as the chorus. And being a steer -- a castrated male bull -- is way better than being a queer if you're in the rural south.)
He let out a single bark of laughter, flicked my ID back in through my window, and walked back to his car. Then he pulled out from behind me, shut off his lights, and sped off on down the road.
I somehow got logged out of reddit the other day, and found myself trying to upvote stuff but not being able to due to not being logged in, I would just close the pop up box instead of bothering to enter in my name and password. This story finally convinced me to sign in and make the upvote count. Ironic I suppose.
Stelfury ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:39:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah you love me for it really. :)
frescani ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:42:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It is known.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:00:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the shit I spend hours wading through cliche comments to find. Best thing I've read on here in months. (obviously it was well written, but the base story is still awesome).
kinard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:20:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went back and read the post after your stunning 5 month later reply (doesn't Reddit lock things this old?) and had myself a glorious moment reveling in the story again. Thanks.
I read this while waking up and I'm not sure if I thought this or I accidentally read your comment before I finished and you made me think it. My brain hurts.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's never appropriate IMO. The whole point of having upvote and downvote arrows is to quickly voice your opinion without having to resort to one word comment spam.
thejam15 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:47:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Stelfury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR Operations Officer of a US military ship orders the bridge to change course by about 15 degrees just so he could get the sun out of his face while eating a bagel.
gravelpit ยท 401 points ยท Posted at 21:00:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sent this comment to my father (about 5 years from retiring from the Navy) and this was his reply:
"Umm, actually yes, I have done almost exactly that. But instead of moving the sun, we were sailing back across the Atlantic and the course we were on was causing interference with the satellite tv while a football game was on (because the satellite receivers was blocked by the mast) so I called and had them change course by about 15 degrees!"
Typical sailors.
jbaird ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 19:03:17 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
There as an episode of This America Life a while back where they visisted an aircraft carrier. According to that during the Superbowl they would plot a course towards the direction that gave them the best signal for the game as the slowest speed they could. When halftime hit they turned the ship around and raced back to the start so they could do it again for the second half. Murica.
[deleted] ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 04:24:44 on March 17, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
There are thousands of kings in history who would have killed their firstborn son to even glimpse a machine as awe inspiring and ball shrivelingly awesome as an American Aircraft carrier, and to those men it was nothing but a nuisance that prevented them from watching 22 men throw a football around.
Not sure how true this is, but a friend of a friend supposedly did the following.
He was a midshipman at USNA and during the summer was on a ship (not sure what type) to get a first hand experience of being an officer in the Navy. One of the requirements of the summer assignment is hold the #2 post at some point. Like most, he gets this job at night since there is less to screw up. #1 goes for a nap and leaves the midshipman in charge. He doesn't tell him how long he's going to be gone, but midshipman figure it out pretty quick.
Being the kind of "Do first, ask later" person you always want in charge of your military equipment, the midshipman asks the guys at the ships control if he is technically in charge. "Aye, sir."
"Hmmmmm, full right rudder."
"Confirm, full right rudder?"
"Aye"
"Aye, sir. Full right rudder!"
Supposedly the ship spent about 45 minutes doing circles in the ocean. The crew thought this was funny break from their usual nightly routine, and the midshipman was just hanging out enjoying being "in charge". The real officer wakes up and comes back furious. He yells at everyone and then makes sure that no one ever tells their superiors this story. #1 knew he wasn't supposed to be sleeping, so if anything he would have gotten in trouble for it all.
But that's the story of how a junior year midshipman sent one of the US Navy's ships in circles in the middle of the night.
Maybe... I need to send a letter first, and it needs the wax and the seal. eh, I'm sure it would be ok if OP kinda just sits on the chair that the king sits on? It's not like anyone would stop him.
ethosaur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:45:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Send a letter.
Stop right there.
Impeesa_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:48 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well ultimately it's a meaningless distinction to make anyways, but it's not truly great procrastination without that faint spark of ambition, you know?
ethosaur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:35 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I will reply with a more fleshed out comment in a few weeks.
skleroos ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 10:29:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in love.
Zooga_Boy ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 10:43:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I want to be a fraction of the genius this man is.
Salivanth ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 11:23:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait a minute.
Did that conversation occur exactly as you described it? Because the way you described it...he never actually gave the "one six five", he just CONFIRMED it...which would mean he does this on a regular enough basis for the bridge to know what he's doing and why.
When you are giving bearing, it would be True, Magnetic or Relative.
The last thing in the post above yours was a bearing. It was also correct. So by following his post with True, it made sense to follow the bearing and to confirm his post as correct.
That's why the other guy relied with magnetic. Saying that it wasn't 165 True but 165 Magnetic.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:05:43 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And hasn't edited it to say thanks even once. I like this guy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:00 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
10761 karma 9xgold
[deleted] ยท 172 points ยท Posted at 09:18:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This has made my entire month.
wpiman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For a thread on laziness, Redditos sure like to give gold. That take a surprising amount of work. You have to pull out your credit card. Too much for me.
Valkryth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paypal, man. type in a password and BAM.
alystair ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 11:19:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if there is a book out there with a collection of stories like this from the Navy, that's brilliant.
tee2green ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:35:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Assumed the Watch: Moored as Before" by Fitzgibbons is absolutely hilarious. Really short and easy read. Highly recommend.
alystair ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:09:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
DatMX5 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 11:26:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't have the resources to be this lazy otherwise I would be.
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 10:50:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We have a winner. I knew it was coming as soon as he picked up the phone but I had to read the whole thing to live a tiny moment in the reflected genius of this man.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 11:32:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Being ex army and a former lazy soldier, I bow down to this man. Thank you for this story.
seitgeist ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:37:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What does barpat mean?
RoboRay ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:01:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Barrier Patrol.
Or, steaming back and forth, back and forth, across a specific area, probably with other ships patrolling adjacent areas, forming a barrier.
This story justifies all the insane military spending in the US.
hveiti ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:33:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been a professional writer for close to a decade now, and I just have to say JESUS CHRIST, dude. Please stop doing military and start doing words. The world will thank you for it somewhere down the line. Promise.
I don't think it really has 10,000 up votes. When it was fresh, it leveled out somewhere around 4,500, if I recall. When I come back to it from the occasional response like this, it always has weird ass numbers. I don't use this account much, but I've seen it jump between 6k, 4k, and 10k. Glitch in the matrix I guess.
Ars2012 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:06:44 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I'm thoroughly impressed by this story telling. At first I thought it was about a lazy Operations Officer, but after re-reading I realized it was about a poor bagel being bit by a Zombie and consequently turning into a bagel Zombie.
I remember he used to host a game show called Russian Roulette and he would always make a point to be referred to as Mark L Walhberg to not be confused with the other one.
Sarvish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:15 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Russian Roulette was hilarious and really good. I wish it would make a comeback
If this were a real Mark Wahlberg, by a conservative estimate, it might bring anywhere from four to five thousand dollars at auction. But given that this one has never been verified as belonging to the Funky Bunch, I guess what you have here is a nice decorative piece with a great story attached. Thanks so much for bringing this in.
honi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:31:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Right? It's on Netflix, I've watched all of the streaming ones in a weekend.
Wooberg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:49:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only 20 episodes whyyyyyyyy
xRavien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like how the participants play off that they're not going to sell their family heirlooms five minutes after the cameras turn off once they find out they're worth thousands.
airial ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:54:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They actually can't. They're not allowed to contact anyone from the show until after taping for the entire day has finished.
Appraisers are not even allowed to show that they're interested in purchasing a piece they've appraised on camera.
I love antiques road show. There is only one problem I have with it. It gives people hope. It makes them think that their worthless shit is not worthless.
My friend and I spent most of a weekend playing a drinking game to Antiques Roadshow whilst we were dog sitting at my parents house. I meant to go to the actual roadshow in September but forgot :(
Each person playing guesses a value for the antique before the expert reveals it but after some information has been revealed about its age/significance, whoever is furthest from the actual value takes a shot. Seeing as they do about 20 antiques per show and I tend to play with only two or three people it tends to get everyone drunk quite fast.
I'm actually going to a valuation day at the end of May with a friend that plays it with me often.
Both people I've played it with most have developed quite the thing for Fiona Bruce as well. It's a great game, the more you drink the more interesting the show becomes.
I hate when the cats do that! I'm too lazy to move their lazy asses so I just sit there and suffer. Or I try to throw things at them to move but I miss by miles and then I'm left without the things I was throwing.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:11:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is it bad I probably would have found something to throw near the cat to make it move?
irving47 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ka-ching!
Dysaniaj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My cat slept on my chest and I couldn't reach the remote. The worst part is there was people in the other room who I could have yelled at to help me out. I just embraced it and watched tv.
Wiggles7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You didnt have a shoe to throw at it?
w0den ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:18:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
me too but it was my dog and i proceeded to throw the remote at him, i didn't realise i couldn't switch chancels without the remote at that point so i just watched some shitty history shizzle
stabliu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i'm hoping the cat kind of fell asleep mid jump and just landed in front of the sensor
Remote sensors belong at the top of the screen. Yes, I know it would cost $.03 more per unit to put it there but that doesn't mean make it any less true.
I had a similar experience with reruns of the extra factor. It was after new years so the x factor was well over (I hadn't watched it anyway) but I was hungover and couldn't make myself get up to fetch the remote.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Antique Roadshow is the shit.
joewersd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:25:05 on January 2, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Similar story. Woke up in my friends bed after night of drinking and the telly was on mute on one of those telly shopping channels, so I just sat there for hours watching people trying to sell me things with no sound
Tampoonie ยท 1395 points ยท Posted at 04:44:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In order to not walk 5 feet to my bed, I decided to fall sleep on my recliner, pulling down the window shade a little extra, so I could use it as a blanket.
Mystified ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 09:09:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did the same thing when I was coming home drunk. Laid on the floor and used a DDR mat for a blanket.
Amp3r ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:18:49 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not as good as the time my room mate used the carpet as a blanket. Yes, pulled up a corner of it and slept on the padding with the carpet over him
High school party, still goin strong at like 3-4 AM, but I was done for around 3 or so. I was wandering around and saw a cover for the pool table, the ones where it's leather on one side and velvet on the other. I crawled under the table and cocooned myself up in it entirely, velvet on the inside. Drunk me thought it was awesome. I still think it was awesome and extremely comfortable. No one else gets it.
I've done the same thing. Except instead of a recliner it was the bathroom floor, and instead of a window curtain it was a plastic shower curtain. And there was probably more vomit involved than in your situation. Alcohol may have been a contributing factor. I don't remember.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 11:31:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love sleeping on the bathroom floor when too drunk! It's so warm and cosy, the towels are right there if I need a blanket and the toilet is right there for all my vomit needs.
One time I was apparently so drunk, that I got to the bathroom, pulled down my pants and boxers, leaving the coat on and just fell asleep like that. When I woke up in the morning, I saw that my gf was laying on the other side of the bathroom in the same state of undress - no pants and panties, but still in her winter coat.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:21:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Best thing ever
extraeme ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:38:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I want a girl with no skirt and a loooooong jacket.
Kelcius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, you have a recliner facing the window (also considering you said you pulled the window shade a LITTLE extra it must be right in front of the window)? Or did you sleep with a window shade over your face?
That's actually a good idea; a service where you call your electric company and tell them to shut off your electricity for the night. No need to get up from bed.
tipsana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:03:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wash myself with a rag on a stick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe this. You would have to lay in bed non stop for at least 3 months maybe 2 and a half. You would get bed sores and smell like Miley Cyrus's career. Shit.
CJ_Guns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:33:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I usually turn only one small night light on in the entire house during darkness...ever. That's in the bathroom, so I can see if there is still shit on the toilet paper or not when wiping.
I've waited at least a month, maybe a month and a half due to the fact that my phone can provide enough light to get by. It wasn't until a guest needed to stay in my room that I was supposed to fix it in which case, I did NOT in fact fix it, someone else did and never told me about it.
Because he does EXTREME IRONING! It's somewhere in his history I think.. Pretty intense stuff.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:42:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, but I tagged you as "He can't remember why he tagged Elbonio as 'The Iron Man'", just to see if I run into you again some random day to ask you why I have you tagged as that.
Zelxinoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good idea, report back with results.
Elbonio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Extreme ironing at area 51 most likely
Zelxinoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
YES. I'm watching that show right now!
You deserve gold my friend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Best 64 episodes of my life, almost cried at the end, watched it all again about a week after finishing it, so many feels, yet to watch the original series though
It just occured to me that the sloth is the only animal actually named after a sin. That's how fucking lazy they are. Imagine if we called Hippo's 'greeds'.
It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.
It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.
librbmc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too dedicated to be lazy, laziness is dedications arch-enemy
Dedication, Destination: isolation. A separation from the superstition of illumination. Delegation. A hurdle to overcome to none of this sleepers devastation. Procrastination.
[deleted] ยท 350 points ยท Posted at 03:13:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least you shot the light switch and 10 times. You did an effort. If you were with me, I'd be the one faking to be asleep so you'd have to turn the light off.
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 04:50:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhhh...I do that to my husband.
ethanlan ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:22:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ASSUMING HE WOULD NOT BE DOING THE SAME
edit: Shit, caps. Whateves, I'm sticking with it.
_vOv_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:09:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
and I will be the one not giving a fuck and kicking your ass until you wake up and get the light
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:42:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say you were my girlfriend, but she just falls asleep and makes me do it.
At least she goes all the way... If you get my meaning.
Haha. Probably not. I just remember when I was younger I would fake sleep. I was afraid of turning the light off, because a monster could get me before I got to my bed. If I was already in bed and someone else turned it off, I was safe. Logic.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:20 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I'd do the same thing! I would also keep all my limbs underneath the blanket and assume no damn monster could grab me if I was under my covers :P
All of mine have been terrified by them, but they've also only been raised around paper and cloth. In the other room I have a warhammer made of them that I swing around when he's being a little shit and nothing sends him scurrying upstairs faster than the sound.
Ahh, fair enough. I suppose mine have been desensitized to the plastic from living with my family, who often forget their cloth bags and wind up with a pile of plastic ones. =) The cats bat at and play with any plastic bags they find on the floor or countertop - one kitty is especially fond of playing even with plastic wrappers and other crinkly things. If you didn't have plastic bags around for them to investigate when they were growing up, it makes sense that your cats would be startled by the sound... especially if they mostly associate it with your warhammer, lol. Conditioning!
Yeah, every cat I've ever known just goes apeshit playing with them. In any of the households I've slept in that have cats, that would just be a surefire way to make sure they wake you up twice as much.
Friend of mine did the same, only with an airsoft gun. In my house. When he hit the target, light went off and the pellet pierced straight through the lightswitch.
Ah, I have a Raider Rapid-Fire CS-35 so i get 35 shots. I used to have to get up and flip the switch but I installed one of these for the sole purpose of being easier to hit. I just can't sleep with lights on and now I don't have to.
Edit: I think Nerf should pay me to do a commercial.
Caddy6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once but I threw a book at it. I missed and had my brother (we shared a room) give it back to me repeatedly when I continued to miss for the next 5 minutes until I finally got it
Guy down the hall in my old college dorm tied a string from the light pull-cord to his bed post, so he could turn off the light from bed. He's an engineering student.
I did the same thing except I used what I had on my nightstand...old cellphone, t.v remote, ps3 controller, ect..missed all of them. the loud noise prompted my sister to come and check it out, got her to shut off the light...success
Similar thing: I once shot out my lights with an airsoft rifle because I didn't want to get up and turn them off. Three years later when I moved out, the glass was still on the floor, under a towel.
I called the house phone, with my cellphone because I was to lazy to get out of bed to turn off the light. Little sister answered and came up and turned it off.
mail323 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that's right not everyone has remote controls and phone apps for their lights.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once contemplated the consequences of shooting a lamp across my bedroom with my 1911 to turn it off. I didn't do it because it's a $50 lamp that I really like and I'd also end up spending way more time patching the holes in my drywall later.
There's also the fact that one of my neighbors would've probably called the cops if they heard a gunshot.
I realised something the other day. With my smartphone, I can do my banking, I can communicate with people at the other side of the world. I can stream video, and so so much more. So why can't i turn my damned bedroom light off with it!
I have a ceiling fan in my room that came with a remote for the fan and light. It's great when you are feeling lazy before bed. One thing that sucks is the remote controls other fans in the house and other remotes can control the one in my room. I sometimes have to fight with someone else in the house to turn off the lights or switch on the fan.
8e8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Many years ago I was LAN'ing out of a friend's closet for the summer. We both hated getting up to turn off the light, especially in the middle of a game, even though it was about arm's length and a half behind me. I turned one of his coat hangers into a light switcher and it worked like a charm for awhile. I ended up getting tired of using the coat hanger so we just left the light off.
I had a sponge like ball (the yellow ones with a smiley face on it) which I used to throw at switch to turn lights off. I had a petty good success rate. But I have also slept with lights on too many times.
ganjaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually got pretty good at hitting the light switch with a pillow, top spin and all. But of course there were some nights where every pillow would miss. I would even sacrifice my last pillow to get the lights off.
kasekoph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I disliked using my crutches for it drew too many attention. But I left it by my bed side every night to turn the lights off. :D
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a light switch above my bed on a cord so it's just a case of reaching up and feeling around for it. I'll be honest, sometimes I can't even be bothered to do that. Especially if my bedroom is cold and my bed is all warm.
My bedroom light is remote control operable with dimmer. Boyfriend saved us from fighting over who had to stumble to switch it off. It's amazing and I highly recommend it. It's something that anyone above novice electrician could handle installing or even a daring first-timer I am sure.
blumelon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lpew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a system with levers and pulleys made out of paper clips and a long bit of thread going up the wall and across the ceiling to actuate the light switch from my bed...
Dualyeti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Solution: get movement sensor as a light switch, never have to think out the switch.
Negative: own a pet, or restless in the night? Your screwed.
you should have thrown the gun at the end as a last resort
kimmm314 ยท 3166 points ยท Posted at 04:17:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate and I arranged our dorm room to be "lazy-capable." One person was able to reach the mini fridge and light switch from her bed, and the other could reach the the window and AC/ heat from her bed....
.... we never fought again.
wiggles89 ยท 1131 points ยท Posted at 07:40:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I remember my freshmen year my neighbor, and later to be roommate, made an intricate system of strings and counter weights so he could pull a string from his bunk and kill the lights.
Edit: Forgot some words.
Echieo ยท 336 points ยท Posted at 08:37:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We did this to close the windows in the morning. Used a bottle of detergent as a counterweight. Eventually there was a big mess.
Wiggles7 ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 13:44:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Big mess? Sounds like a problem for the students who move in next year!
My friends made a a pulley system with a paper plate and a length of string on two sides. Each person would have an end of the string and could pull the plate towards them. Never had to get off the couch to pass the bowl. I was impressed with their stoner ingenuity.
kirial ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You have TVs in the individual cells, and not just in the "day room?" If so that is pretty swank as far as jails go. I've never seen or heard of a county jail that has T.V.s in the actual cells where the inmates sleep. They usually just have one T.V. in the community room that every inmate has to share, and you can only watch it during the day.
I was gonna ask if you were a smaller jail, but if you have federal and immigration contracts I doubt it. I've heard that some of the very small (I'm talking like holding only a dozen or so inmates) jails actually get some benefits over the normal and larger jails. For example, they get to have take out meals rather than the jail food because they are too small to have a kitchen, and other privileges due to their small populations.
beasl3y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:21 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I don't know how we compare size wise to most other country jails but it's no where near as large as the jails you see on spike tv. We have a kitchen at our facility and the food is actually a whole lot better than the meals I eat at home on my off days. According to the inmates, our jail is the nicest one in the general area. We are a restricted movement jail so each individual pod (regardless of capacity size) has a tv that is shared between how ever many are currently being housed in there... unless of course they are being asshats
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
later to be roomate
Genius
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I'm thankful all the dorms I've lived in had a light switch near the door to the room and another one right next to the bed. It used to get annoying if you forgot your bathroom light on (our dorms are ensuite) but then I moved to the new dorms and the bathroom light had a motion sensor. I love my campus dorms it's designed for the lazy.
I did this is high school. My closet had a pull-string light that I tied a rope to, safety pinned the rope to my bed, pulled it every night when it was time to pass out. I think at one point I rolled over and got caught in the string, turning the lights on. What a mess.
A housemate of mine has all of his lights/curtains etc. on voice control.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! I did that too!
I had strings for lights on & off - and I was quite proud of the system to open & close the door. Had a string duct-taped the the door knob in a way that would turn the knob then pull the door open in a single motion.
Whole system was reachable from the bunk and from the computer chair.
MAtoDC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate and I did that too. I also frequently called the girl across the hall to come over for an emergency. "Hey MAtoDC, what's wrong?!?!?!" "Nothing, can you just turn off the light?"
Is there a subreddit for learning about how to do this? I have a light you have to turn, and it's all the way across the god damn room. I rarely ever use it because I'm too lazy. Would just rather go around in the dark.
Actively communicating and fair division of tasks will heal ALL wounds.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:24:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my roommate were so dumb while we lived in a dorm. Damn. We should have moved the fridge closer. Also fans with remote controls are also awesome.
One of the millions of reddit comments where the male reddit community experiences cognitive dissonance upon seeing "her" halfway through the sentence.
"But... it's a lazy man... but it says 'her'! I don't understand! Why is the lazy man saying lady words?"
A friend of mine, drummer and ice-cream eater, grew tired of his regular ice-cream eating routine which forced him to bend forward from his couch to reach the ice-cream. So he decided to tape two drumsticks and a spoon together...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:22:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I will now take notes.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:23:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know a girl who did this at University. She Moved her bed into the kitchen/living room in reach of the fridge, her friend did likewise so she could change TV channel with her toe (no remote control). They got their dealer to deliver, and ordered takeaways, and lived like that for about a month.
Moxay ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 08:31:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who could reach the sex toy cabinet?
AltusUnum ยท 3014 points ยท Posted at 04:29:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spent a half hour searching for a torrent to download a textbook that I had left in another room
welovekah ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 09:26:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But this has the added benefit of being searchable (assuming it isn't a scan).
Niktion ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 13:46:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Which also essentially comes down to laziness, so it's appropriate for this thread.
I did this, probably 5 meters away, but a movie not a book. The movie I was trying to download had like no seeders either so it took like an hour to download. Worth it.
doolster ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:20:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wish my torrents only took 1 hour to download...
ohmygod_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hope for verizon fios quantum. My movies take about 15 minutes and thats long.
Godolin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ohmygod
Auxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm downloading 720p rip while making a tea. God bless 1gbits at home!
This is exactly what happened. I couldn't find anything after the first 5 minutes. I became very frustrated. By then, my competitive juices started flowing and there was no way I could give up; I was finding a copy of that book online.
efhs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:16:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spend hours each week trying to find copies of text books/ journals because i forgot my uni library password and i cant be bothered to call IT and get a new one.
That could be really useful. For example I need to find a torrent of my Spanish text book so I can just copy paste that shit into google translate instead of typing it all out.
Called my mom's office line from the living room to ask her a question. She has a home office.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1639 points ยท Posted at 02:00:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do the trick where I would dial the home number on the home phone then hang up quick so it still rang. Then wait for Mother to pick up and also pick up. Proceed to request goodies and such!
jkman ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 06:43:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, what? If you dial the number to your own line, it automatically goes to busy. How did you get it to ring?
The way I used to do it was dial 987 (879? Some combo of those numbers) then the last 4 of our number. Got a dial tone, hung up, picked it up, hung up again. Phone would instantly ring.
I used 811 then the last 4 digits. That worked for me before and after area codes. I can remember dialing a 7 digit number on a pay phone while skipping English class. Ah, thems were the days.
Even though they don't do this now, most cordless phones have a page option that will make the other handsets make a loud tone. If you've set it up before hand someone else in your house would pick it up and there you have lazy communication.
Ferreur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, I'm not.
However as I mentioned in the original comment, I was just taking a wild guess.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 06:06:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my mother had a phone in her room and on in the living room, one day I spliced off the living room so I would have a phone in my room. Most the time after high school i would crash in my room, and when i would want to talk to mom and ask for room deliveries I would yell out loud "MOM PHONE CALL" she would pic it up and I would too and hit a number so we didnt hear the dial tone and then it went something like "Hi mom, ROBERT KNOCK IT OFF!, but maaaam...click" and then either pouting or laughing lol Man I miss pre cell phone days so much fun!.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:14:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Our dad would do that to my brother and me to call us for dinner when we were watching tv/playing GameCube in the basement. It backfired on him the day we realized the phone was always either for him, or him, and we just stopped answering the phone while he was home.
Kairos27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I miss that trick! Does it still exist?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I may be too young to have ever tried this.
jman3350 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this kid I know, his family installed an intercom system and has phones that you can call other phones in the house even though they're on the same line. I've only seen the lines used to tell him to stop being so loud.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just dial and then stay on the line until she picked up..?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha the phones in my country used to ring back when you pressed 161 and hung up. I would dail, run to another room and grab the cordless phone, wait for mom/dad to pick up and pretend to give orders
My parent's wireless home phone had a "Find" button on the dock, so you could "call" the phone from the dock if you lost it. We used this capability to communicate from accross the house without having to get up.
Best part was that the phone also had a button to call the dock.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this. In our bathroom, we had a telephone for the longest time. I have no idea why, but when I was sitting on that porcelain throne and I ran out of toilet paper, I'd dial my house number and when my mom picked up I'd ask her to bring me more.
I would've beat you so badly for trying to summon me that way.
handbrah ยท 389 points ยท Posted at 03:30:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my siblings used to text each other on the phone (using Nokia 3390s, not the smartphones of today) when we were just a room away. Heck, the walls were so thin, if someone left their phone on Outside profile you can hear their SMS tone. And if someone didn't answer right away, we'd usually yell.
Dude, my roommate and I used to have rooms right next to each other and kept our doors open. We talked more through MSN then actually talking to each other.
You had your own room and you weren't an only child... That's all.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:34:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pff kids these days. We used walkie talkies.
Kartinka ยท 436 points ยท Posted at 03:58:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I feel better now! When I lived at home, I called my house phone a few times using my cellphone from my bed to ask my mom/dad to come close my door or turn off the lights in my room or to tell them to be quieter 'cause I wanted to sleep.....
I did that a lot. I still do it actually - I call my boyfriend to turn off the outside light if I can see it shining through the windows a bit. When he is one room away. Also, I'm kind of embarrassed by how much I've commented in this thread.
Kryzilya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend and I are always on gchat. Before I go to sleep, I get into bed with my laptop for a while, and he stays out in the living room playing games. I'll pretty regularly message him to adjust the heat, bring an extra blanket in, remind him to wash pots/pans, etc.
if you were my kid this call would be an invitation to throw a party in your room.
See. I'm lazier than you and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you get in the habit of ruining my laziness.
Noellani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If any one of my kids tried this.... While on the phone I would start laughing, walk through my house still on the phone- still laughing, go to their room and laugh directly in their face and say "no, no, no, nooohooohoho (think Peter in family guy)". Walk back to where the phone goes -still laughing- then hang up.
Back when I was a Freshman in college AIM was still used by everyone. sometimes my roommate (lived in a dorm) and I would IM each to see if either wanted to go grab food at the dining hall rather than simply open our mouths and speak. I think it started out as a joke because we used to IM the guys down the hall but then started doing it to each other too...
My fucking dad does this, now that I've been staying there as I move. He knows I'm upstairs, getting ready for school or hiding from them, but fuck getting up, he calls my cell. So I don't answer. Then he'll get up and yell at me to answer my phone. Fuck, I'm too old to be living at the parentals house and sleeping in a race car bed.!
Kiloku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, my mom usually facebook messages me asking what pizza flavor I want, before she orders them. Our bedrooms are side by side.
efhs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Our printer is downstairs, i regularly ring my dad or brother to ask them to turn it on.
uberweb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remember calling my my upstairs so that she could pull the comforter over my feet, as my feet were sticking out.
I'm so guilty of this type of stuff. Like being in the living room comfy on the couch with my laptop and remember my husband wanted woken up at X time and I simply don't want to get up. So I end up calling his cell phone which he has on his nightstand.
My grandparents had two phone lines for some reason. Thus was pre-dial up internet and neither of them worked from home. At family parties, us kids would sometimes be hanging out upstairs watching TV and when it was time for dinner, they would call one phone line from the other so we would answer and come down to eat.
I Skype my son to tell him dinner/breakfast is ready. I have a (REALLY LOUD) dinner bell, but he doesn't hear it because of his headphones. And yesterday I got a text from her downstairs to tell me the coffee was ready.
My son sometimes calls from downstairs in the basement to ask us questions
Its lazy. And my wife and I discourage it by not answering
Musabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad often texts me from inside the same house haha
Aapatel2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did something like this. Wrote on my friends Facebook wall telling him to come to the living room instead of calling out to him while he was in his bedroom. Right next to me.
Fantlol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin who lives next door did the same, she had a phone in her room and a phone in her parents' living room, and whenever she needed something she just called the other phone(some technology shit, I dont even know). The distance between where she was usually at in her room and the living room door was basically 3 steps and a door
slfranke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Can you make me a sandwich?"
ohmygod_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My family texts each other from different rooms. Or Voxer's. I hate that thing.
Zokusho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back in highschool, my room was in the basement level of our house. Anytime my parents or sisters needed something, they would call my cell phone. Every single time!
Anytime I needed something from them, I'd walk my ass up the stairs.
My dad once connected to our Ventrilo voice-chat while I was playing WoW with friends (dad liked to play tactical fps's with his friends sometimes and I loaned our Ventrilo for them the rare occasions they got enough time to play) and asked me to bring a beer to him. I was in shouting range too. He also never normally asked me to bring beers to him, but I did for this time.
Majusbeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That used to be how my parents called me down for dinner, it was easier than to shout over my loud music
Washed bed sheets. Didn't put the sheets on till 2 months later.
loqi0238 ยท 1473 points ยท Posted at 04:47:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I'll throw my last load of laundry on my dresser, meaning to fold/put stuff up later. Well, laundry day rolls around again, it's not been put up, so I just wash it all again even though it's still clean. I don't know what my reasoning is, this is more a habit of neuroticism.
Amicron ยท 856 points ยท Posted at 06:56:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is well over a thousand of them, and every week that goes by the odds become more likely that there will be relevant xkcds. Given sufficient time xkcd will become the summation of human experience.
WASDx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:53:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How is there always someone asking about it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I never got to the "End of Semester" step, but I lived in the "second month" step for years.
When my girlfriend moved in (who is now my wife) -- she was a little better than me on this front, but not spectacularly. We try, in theory, to be at the "first week" step, but often end up at a step that is not listed here, which has all of the points EXCEPT the dresser. Yes, that's right, often-times we fold the laundry, while watching Lost Girl or whatever other show we're watching this week -- and then we leave it on the coffee table instead of putting it away.
This has the incidental advantage that when one of us wakes up before the other, we don't have to make noise with the dresser in the bedroom -- we just come out to the den and get dressed. We're thinking about putting the dressers in the den, but it'd take up a bit of space, and also might be kind of weird when guests are over... (which currently is the only time we manage to get ourselves back into the "first week" stage.)
I have a pile of clean clothes I've been moving from my chair to my bed for about 8 days. Hoping putting them on my bed will motivate me to fold/hang them. It doesn't.
Crumpled pile of clean laundry has been on my nightstand for about 2 weeks.. I'm right there with you. Unfortunately the cat now thinks it's an extension of the bed and has started sleeping on it. Now I have to wash it again... Damnit.
8 days? Pffft. I've been renting a room from a buddy of mine for about a year and a half now. Pretty much since week two, I've had a pile of clothes to shift from chair to bed and back again almost every day. The clothes themselves change from time to time as I occasionally use an odd shirt or sock, but the pile... The pile stays. It is Eternal.
redworm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A queen sized bed is the worst thing for me to have in terms of laundry effort. However, even with a twin bed I'll sometimes just shove everything to one side or sleep with my feet under the clean clothes.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hell ya, I usually go a week before I start feeling the need to remove the grunge, so you've beat me!
Back when I wasn't sharing a bed with someone, it was just so easy to move my clothes to the other side of the bed to sleep. Now it just sits on the dresser for a few days.
I do almost the same except while shuffling through the clean clothes I mix them up with the still dirty clothes laying on the floor so essentially my floor is covered with a mix of clean and dirty clothes. When is comes to laundry time again, half the stuff is still clean but I cant tell and end up washing it all over again...and the cycle repeats itself...
TLDR: I can't see my floor cause it's carpeted with a combo of washed and unwashed clothes
loqi0238 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:31:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mixing them just makes it more justifiable to leave them until the next wash, cause you lose track of what's clean.
Do this as well. My issue is that the pile of clothes also slowly become the dirty clothes pile. About half way through the pile I am not sure which are clean and which are dirty. They all get washed again.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when I run out of clean boxers and have to 'guess' which one's in the pile are 'safe'.
My reasoning is that if I hang up those clothes after being bunched up for 12 hours then they will be all wrinkly. Obviously the best course of action is to let them sit there for ten days until you wash them again and they won't be wrinkly. Just try not to repeat the process, that's the hard part and can be quite the slippery slope.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for putting a name to this ugly beast.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:03:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So you also create a laundry mountain of clean clothing on top of your dresser, leave it for weeks, allow it to wrinkle and then put most of it through the wash again? I thought I was alone in this.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I log on to reddit this morning, and learned that apparently a LOT of us do this lol
Shit, I do something similar... I'll drape any shirts that I don't currently have hangars for over the back of my computer chair. Laundry day rolls around, and all of the shirts on the computer chair get re-washed because that's also where I lay my jeans when I'm sleeping...
Azara1th ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:31:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My clean clothes have sat in a pile in my living room so long I went through 2 more cycles...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:32:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's like the opposite of lazy.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't use any of the antonyms of lazy to describe myself though. Maybe I'm just more neurotic then I had presumed myself to be. You learn something every day, it seems.
I do the same thing but I throw all my shit on the floor. I have shirts that I bought that I don't even wear that end up getting washed repeatedly and repeatedly thrown back on the floor.
I throw clean clothes on my bed with the thought, oh! If they're on my bed, later I'll have to put them away in order to sleep! But then by the time I want to sleep, I'm too tired, so I put them back in the basket. Then back on the bed the next day. And this cycle continues until they're all dirty again anyway.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that you have to constantly move them but don't put them up wins the laziness award for you, I think. I'm too lazy to check the criteria.
You have a laundry day? Hey everybody, check out mister fancy pants over here!
loqi0238 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:25:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My laundry day is whenever I have spare time and DON'T feel like using it to drink, sooooo...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:46:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this so much living in a dorm. I spent a week sleeping on my bed with my clean clothes pushed to the side, then decided to wash them because they were just sitting there.
I do this sometimes too, but my reasoning is because they got super wrinkled sitting in the laundry basket after not folding them, so I'll just wash them again. Surely this time I will hang them up to avoid wrinkles.
Yes, Washing and drying them again is way easier than getting the iron out.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Surely, this time will be different.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:34:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And it has turned into one of my cat's favorite beds, so it's also just covered in fuck ton of cat hair. And I shamelessly leave my house looking like I roll around in a pile of cats for four hours before work.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm also like this. What I found works is dumping the laundry on my bed. I'll head to bed and go "bleeeeeegh I have to put this shit away"
However the alternative, you could be like my former roommate. He'd see the pile of clothes on his bed as extra sheets
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a futon next to my bed, so if there's laundry on my bed I usually just pass out on the futon. Sometimes I'll think about tossing the clothes onto the futon, but never quite get the motivation.
I was referring to when you said "I don't know why I wash it all again"
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In that case, yes, I do it for the wrinkles.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always just throw my clean clothes back into my hamper, always meaning to fold them later...then I end up throwing my dirty clothes on the floor, and rummaging through the hamper for a specific outfit makes a huge messy explosion of clothes, so I end up just washing my entire wardrobe.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:07 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually pictured "a huge messy explosion of clothes". Laughter ensued.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:39 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm glad you can laugh at it! It's not funny when your entire floor is covered with clean and dirty clothes :c
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:15:34 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck! I don't upvote often, because I'm on my phone and cuz I'm lazy, but god damn if in guilty of doing the same thing. Clean laundry, bring in to my room, put on the floor, somehow get distracted by anything, and bam! A week goes by and I'm washing the same clean clothes, plus an extra pair of boxer grief and maybe a sock or 3.
[deleted] ยท 413 points ยท Posted at 06:37:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I finally put all the bottles on my desk (they started blocking monitors) in a garbage bag. That garbage bag has been sitting by my desk for a month now. Problem is, my desk is almost filled up with bottles again.
I think in a year or two my room will just have bags full of bottles in it.
Uniix ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 08:55:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL why hoarders have bags of trash in their house.
Godolin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, i'm afraid to move out on my own. I'm gonna be so lazy when i have a whole house to keep garbage in
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:47:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Remember the two-minute rule: if you see something that needs to be done, and it'll take two minutes or less, just do it.
At first I thought that would suck. Then realized this type of person wouldn't necessarily care if the whole house was perfectly spotless - they just want the bags of bottles gone
That depends. Not all states have the bottle deposit on them. So unless they're living in one of the states that give you 5 or 10 cents per bottle, it's just boring normal recycling.
huh? no i just meant the slob who leaves bottles everywhere would be satisfied if the maid just got rid of them and wouldn't be hovering over them making sure they scrub every square inch of the place with a toothbrush
Has anyone else ever woken up after a night of drinking, grabbed a beer bottle and took a swig, only to be faced with the reality that you pissed in it the night before?... I have
I just recycled 280 pounds of glass bottles the other day after a year of this and only got 25$ for it...... Switch to cans..... The payout will be better if u recycle ๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And then you're going to get a new room and start all over again
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:33:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I could kick out my roommates and have 3 extra rooms. Then I could move downstairs after those fill up!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had exactly the same issue! Still have, actually, as somewhere in a closet there's still a bag full of empty bottles I haven't had the chance to return yet.
Actual trash get emptied from my desk on a weekly basics, but recyclable stuff like bottle, box of cereal etc.. I just put it behind me (U shaped desk with a wall behind me).
So last week I decided to clean that shit. Turn out I filled 4 fucking medium blue transparent bag. I'm looking at them right now and I can't believe how that possible that my desk contained all of this.
If they're returnable bottles, go return them. Takes time but you get money. :D I recently looked in my garage and found bags upon bags upon bags of cans and bottles. Turns out my dad's been shoving them in the garage instead of returning them. My sister and I went to return them and made nearly $70. (At 5 cents per bottle.. that took a while.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The local high school comes by every few months and collects for their band. I usually just give it to them because the time it takes me to go to the store isn't worth the 25-30 bucks to me. I'm pretty lazy with my free time :/
They haven't come by for a while though, those little shits!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can imagine an infinite cycle. Keep filling up a saving the bags full of bottles up until the point where you need to bring in a recycling bin. Fill one of these up and keep saving bottles until you have enough bags to fill up another recycling bin. Next step would be acquiring a u-haul like truck to store all the recycling bins in. Keep filling up the bags that fill up the recycling bins that fill up the u-haul. Eventually, when you fill up the u-haul go get another. When you get enough u-hauls, go a rent one floor of a multi-floor parking garage. I'll stop there.
Go recycle! Get money! Maybe not much, but hey, still money.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:14 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Time is my main concern in life currently. I do okay money wise. I used to take bottles back a lot and I know how much I get for it. Not worth it to me anymore for the time it takes but I want to recycle still so I just want for band kids to come by!
I changed my sheets like seasonally. It didn't even occur to me that one should wash sheets before they were visibly dirty until I was married and watched my wife do it
My girlfriend and I have been in our new apartment since July, washed the duvet cover and pillow cases after a few weeks..... Still don't have covers back on.
Two months? I had the same sheet on my bed for 7 years.
glguru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For the first semester at Uni I put the bed sheet on for the first time. I quickly realized that it was a high maintenance job as the sheet would need to be done up every day. This was in Pakistan so fitted sheets were not common there at the time (and my parents were poor), so I lived without sheets for 4 years.
This hit close to home.. been two month of sleeping with only the cover and a loose sheet under me. It's now to the point where I need to wash the cover again...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hadnt washed clothes for the year ive lived in this house and i just bought more underwear and socks when i needed them. Did washing a week ago and the amount of socks is too damn high.
Sevzor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wash my dirty laundry regularly and take it off the line as soon as it's dry. However, that pile of clean laundry stays on my bed for weeks at a time and I would just move it aside and sleep to one side of the bed.
My girlfriend has been the only one who keeps folding and putting it all the way when she comes over. I honestly don't remember the last time I've done it myself.
I haven't changed my sheets in..I don't know, I can't remember to be reaaaally honest. I woke up and told myself "today's the day". But I'll live another day.
This is considered lazy now? I don;t even remember when i last had new bedsheets
Faxon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i've got one better. My sheets ripped through the center in 2010 sometime on a hot muggy summer night when i sweated through them and the fabric gave way (im assuming after a long period of my tossing and turning abuse combined with sweat degradation and bleaching from the washing). the sheets are still partially attached to said bed (it's a loft bed) but are totally unnoticed to all as being sheets since they're draped down under the back as if it's meant to be there. Yea, I turned my torn sheets into a drape. I also never got new sheets
K5Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, just sleep on top of a blanket and you can put it off for a good while
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
relevant username?
Spazyak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel for you except that i haven't put mine on in two years after i spilkt soda on it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
During college there was a period of time when I washed my sheets, put them on the bed, but then I'd sleep on top of my fleece blanket over the sheets. My logic: If I sleep on top of the blanket, I won't have to wash the sheets as often.
... also, this was college ... and I didn't realize there were people in the world who washed their sheets more often than every month or two. My parents didn't wash bedding more often than that, so when I started working in a bedding store and people (customers and fellow associates) mentioned that they washed their sheets every couple days I thought, "How do you find time and energy to do that?"
Haha I bought some new bed sheets because I couldn't be bothered washing mine. It's been months and they're still in the plastic packages on the floor.
my ex-step-mother is a traveling nurse. one time over the summer she got put in a place on cape cod and I decided to go with her just for a change of scenery. the apartment was over the pizzeria and it had a sort of flat roof on top. a couple of times I called an order in and then had the guy stand on a chair on the sidewalk and hoist it up to me while I went out the window onto the roof. goodtimes.
I remember hearing from an independent bookshop owner, the day he realized it was time to sell up, was when the flat above the show started getting Amazon packages.
pwndcake ยท 590 points ยท Posted at 07:14:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Here are a couple:
Roommate was on the other side of the apartment, maybe 20 feet away, and we're both using our computers. Sent him an instant message to find out what he was doing and if he wanted to go grab some lunch.
Came home and tripped in the doorway, falling flat on the floor. I kicked the door shut with my foot and fell asleep for three hours.
One time I arrived at my apartment to find my roommate out cold napping in the middle of the living room floor next the the steam cleaner, with all of the furniture moved to a different room and only half the floor cleaned.
Another time we were chilling in the living room and he went into his room like 5 feet away to close his blinds. I didn't see him again for three hours because while he was climbing over his bed to close them he fell asleep.
I am baffled by you people. It takes me hours to get to sleep.
Godolin ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:05:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can either fall asleep in seconds, or it'll take days.
LOL! I didn't trip, but after a futile effort to scrape the ice layered on my wind shield, shovel the mountain of snow the plowers left right at the end of my driveway, and deicing the keyholes on my car doors, I spun out into a ditch, just feet away from my driveway. I could have tried to get out, but I called into work instead. I said I couldn't get out of my driveway. I gave up, made cocoa, put my fuzzy pj's on and nestled back to bed. It was the best feeling ever. Until I woke up and realized everything I didn't get done today, would make double the work tomorrow. Oh well.
Were these two seperate invidents, or did you fall over after getting lunch and just sleep on it?
pwndcake ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:24:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Two separate instances, about 12 years apart.
shane727 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:04:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did that once. Left a party around the block from my house to walk home. I was super drunk and it was one of those times where I'm gonna sleep where I land so I had to make it home quick. It was pouring rain so I started running and my foot sank in mud and I went down hard. Tore my whole hand up, laid on the floor in defeat as the rain soaked me and fell asleep right there. Friends leaving the party the next morning found me.
juel1979 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:49:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My husband and I will log on the WoW armory app or iMessage to get ahold of each other when we're both in the same house. We used to use walkie talkies sometimes.
Godolin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think if I had come home to find someone sleeping in the middle of the floor, I would freak out thinking that they had a heart attack, or were knocked unconscious somehow.
Quajek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That second one sounds like it's more drunk than lazy.
pwndcake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, not drunk. Just didn't feel like getting up.
Oh fuck. I've been at my place for just over 4 years now. I have a fantastic bed. That sits on the ground. Every few weeks I move the bed frame a few feet closer, then remember I don't have the screws for it.
There's a home depot I pass almost every day. I was THERE last week! What the hell is wrong with me, how did I only just realize that this is just laziness??
Edit: well, it took 3 days, but I finally put the frame together, and now my bed is on it!!!! It's wobbly. I'm remembering why I didn't set it up when I moved in. I'm going to have to go get and put together another bed. God. Damnit. But I'm less lazy thank to you Reddit! Seriously, thank you.
imMAW ยท 845 points ยท Posted at 09:47:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
over 4 years now
Every few weeks I move the bed frame a few feet closer
How large is your bedroom?
dan_au ยท 766 points ยท Posted at 12:21:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He moves it half the remaining distance every few weeks.
Isric ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 12:58:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, he moves it half the remaining difference each time. This is valuable new information.
Let's assume "a few weeks" is 8 weeks, to err on the side of caution. He's already said he moves it "a few feet" every time he moves it, so the last time he moved it he must have moved it at least a few feet (let's say 3).
52 weeks X 4 years = 208 weeks
208 weeks / 8 weeks = 26 times he's moved the bed
The last move was 3 feet, and each previous time he must have moved it twice as far.
3 x 226 = 201,326,592 feet.
We can conclude that the minimum possible size of explainittomeplease's bedroom is 76,260 miles, or approximately ten times the size of the Earth.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:00:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got it. Explainittomeplease's bedroom is in the TARDIS.
csl512 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed, 3 or more, but I was being conservative by picking the smallest figure possible for "a few", as I didn't want to end up with some ridiculously large size for his room or anything.
TheHoma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:39 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
as I didn't want to end up with some ridiculously large size for his room or anything.
What would it be otherwise?
Ziazan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's good and all, but what the guy said was "Every few weeks I move the bed frame a few feet closer", he didn't tell us what point in the half-the-distance sequence that was.
It could have easily been the first move, not the last.
If every few weeks the bed was moved at least a few feet, then on the most recent occasion it must have been moved at least 3 feet. Calculating backwards from that, on the very first occasion it must have moved at least 201,326,592 feet.
It's debatable whether 201,326,592 feet could be classed as "a few" of course, but I was taking dan_au at his word, as I figured no-one could possibly lie about something as important as this.
Ziazan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes, if we add the words "at least" then this certainly works. Or as you say, assume that he tacks a rather unusual meaning to the word "few".
Auxx ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I can only assume from your friendly comment that I've messed up in my calculations somehow. It's entirely likely, it was only a quick back of the envelope job, I wasn't expecting to be held to your rigorous academic standards. Perhaps you'd be kind enough to point out the flaw to me?
Edit: Wait, I got it - it's because a bedroom couldn't possibly be ten times the size of the Earth, right?
akashik ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:59:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming a few means an average of three, his bed has moved at least 234 feet. I'm gonna take a guess and say his room is a quarter mile wide at least.
It started in my guest bedroom. Then to the hall. Spent s while there till Oct entered the living room. The living room is a vast sea of slow moving furniture. Been stuck there for a while.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 11:32:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No. Ozymandias is the ancient king who built colossal wonders (such as an enormous bedroom, I guess) in the excellent poems "Ozymandias" by Percy Shelley and Horace Smith. See here. Or here as read by Bryan Cranston. Or here by Jamie Hyneman. /u/ozymendias's username is only one character off, and they claimed to have an enormous bedroom. Seems relevant.
Xenc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Order the parts online. The joy of having the bed you've wanted finally ariving in the mail will cancel out your laziness and cause you to feel enthusiasm.
g0_west ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Online shopping is something amazing that we all take for granted.
Ah. You have a SO. I live by myself. No one to tell me to clean up, or put on clothes or stop rubbing it out in the shower. It's a good life, but I need someone telling me to motivate.
I just finished an 11 hour shift, but I'm buying them tomorrow. Coming home to these comments has motivated me. Why is home depot closed at 10 p.m.? This is when I'm at my most active.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I woke up to 25 replies in my inbox and I'm like... Wtf?! Is this what its like to have interesting things to say? And to get Karma for them?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:18 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have an Ikea bed frame (don't we all) that I specifically left behind at my parents' house when I moved out last April for the sole purpose of not having to put anything together. Because I knew I never would.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:01 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Two days after my first post, I bought the screws. Three days after my post I realized they weren't the right size and got frustrated. Then I went back and got the right size, and PUT MY FRAME TOGETHER!!! It was awesome! Then I put the box on, flipped my mattress (it needed it), put new sheets and pillow cases on, and it looks great!
Then I got on it. It wobbles. I forgot it wobbles. It was the reason why I hadn't put it back together, but I was too lazy (surprise, surprise) to drag it to the corner for them to pick up. So now I have to wait till I can find another frame on craigslist.
TlDr; finally set up my bed frame, it's not good enough but it'll do for now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:50 on December 3, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You know it. I'm hoping to wheel it flush to the wall when the time comes, set up the other bed and somehow shove the mattress/box over. It won't end up that way but I can hope.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:24 on December 4, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stop making excuses. There's not a single thing you could be doing that couldn't be pushed back an hour (maybe less, I dunno what your frame looks like) to put that bitch together. Put it in your calendar, go there as soon as possible, buy those screws, and screw that bitch together. You'll feel incredibly accomplished.
Stop being lazy. Be a champion.
Edit: Not trying to sound like a dick. You'll seriously feel way, way better about it. Get motivated, kiddo.
Any documentation with the frame? Where'd you get it? Who made it? Hard to say really since it's not in front of me. But I'd venture to guess that if you know the maker or the store where you bought it, those would be good leads. Wish I could provide more assistance beyond that though at the moment.
milkradio ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:20:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this in my first apartment in university. We used two air mattresses fashioned to look like a couch on the floor instead of buying an actual couch.
You slept on the floor? Or slept on the mattress that was on the floor? Sleeping on the actual floor for a year is quite the lazy accomplishment.
Mike312 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:14:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually want to know the answer to this. There's a huge difference between "slept on the floor" and "slept on a mattress on the floor". My back has seen some things...
I used to sleep on my brother's ol' futon mattress at my old place. It was soft and wide. That was like sleeping on a mattress on the floor. But I get rid of that when I moved a year ago because it looked gross. So I bought a bed frame and all i needed was a mattress. Well where the fuck am i going to put a mattress if i dont have a place to put it? So I waited on buying the damn mattress until I put together the bed frame.
A year later, I'm still sleeping on the FLOOR with nothing but a blanket and a pillow. Its carpet but... still. I fucking hate myself for it.
(im actually putting my bed together at 3pm today. ive set a goal. wish me luck)
Mike312 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should post a new topic, and if you put the bed together you'll get a bunch of karma...maybe? I hear fake internet points are great motivation.
(i copy pasted my answer from below so this comes to your inbox. )
I used to sleep on my brother's ol' futon mattress at my old place. It was soft and wide. That was like sleeping on a mattress on the floor. But I get rid of that when I moved a year ago because it looked gross. So I bought a bed frame and all i needed was a mattress. Well where the fuck am i going to put a mattress if i dont have a place to put it? So I waited on buying the damn mattress until I put together the bed frame.
A year later, I'm still sleeping on the FLOOR with nothing but a blanket and a pillow. Its carpet but... still. I fucking hate myself for it.
(im actually putting my bed together at 3pm today. ive set a goal. wish me luck)
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:59:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not really when I sleep on my back. it is a flat surface after all.
But when I sleep in my belly and I have an uneven blanket underneath my and on top of me and im all lopsided and Blegh!. I wake to a very sore neck and upper back.
bldkis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:17:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:26:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been in my new place a month and we are still on a mattress on the floor, eh.
I'm with you man, I once spent like two months sleeping on a deflated air mattress with a bunch of blankets piled on top of it. Granted it was deflated because my roommate's cats had popped it, not because I was too lazy to blow it up...but still...a deflated air mattress...there was a Canadian tire blocks away.
No. I literally slept on the floor. I didn't have a mattress because I was waiting to buy one until I put together my frame. I never put together my frame.
Floor.
forrext ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So, let me right this right, you slept on a mattress on the floor?
nononono. I mean seriously. I LITERALLY like 100% TOTALLY slept on the floor. Didn't even HAVE a mattress until TODAY. The bed FRAME was in PIECES for a year and ive been SLEEPING on the FLOOR. no mattress!
thisisfun
forrext ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:53:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sabes que, I'm drunk but, I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor for a long time becuae sabes que its the same as sleeping on a spring box and rails which is like expensive as fuck so, its ok to sleep o the florr
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:37:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
With the mattress on the floor? Because that's what I've been doing for years now. Otherwise.....holy shit.
No. I literally slept on the floor. I didn't have a mattress because I was waiting to buy one until I put together my frame. I never put together my frame.
The shame.
minijag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:56:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I got you beat, this wasn't me, but someone else---
Rented a fancy upscale loft, decided to refurnish everything, stayed a hotel for 2 weeks during the process. Never finished it, decided to stay at the hotel indefinitely. Roll 2 or 3 months in, decides he isn't going to finish refurnish it anytime soon, decided to rent another loft in the same area 'to save money.'. 2 Years pasts by before he steps foot in the first apartment......
yeah you were lazy. But you only get 7 lazy points. I get 365.
I.... win?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:21:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i slept on an air mattress for over a year. it kept getting punctures in the creases so i'd fix the punctures by super-gluing small bits of paper over them (yes, it's a good fix)
That is a dog's name why would anyone have a dogs name and besides there are no dogs on the intermeow meow meow meow meow.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yup I'm with ya, mine hasn't been put together for 2 years, I've moved 4 times in that period and it's just too much trouble to put the thing together.
Spazyak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well for one it shrunk and for two I'm restless so I usual mess up the covers on my bed. Also I'm tired when I get home. I think I will put my covers on tonight
My box spring didn't fit up my staircase when I moved into my [first ever] house (outside of my mom's). I have been reluctant to go to IKEA and buy a new bed that I can assemble in my room, so I've been sleeping on my mattress on the floor for just about 2 months now.
We had two boxes of stuff from Ikea just leaning against the wall and partially blocking the doorway to our living room. For almost two months. I guess we didn't need a new coffee table that much, a chair is equally good place to put my coffee cup at.
I was drunk one night and decided the bathroom was to far away. So I pissed in my cats litter box. Didn't feel like cleaning it up in the morning so I just threw the whole litter box in the garbage.
Are you my brother? He did the same thing while staying at my parent's house for the night (we were both adults by then). I got a call a day later saying "Nickpickles, I did somehing really bad at mom's house..." and I'm thinking he broke something or drank all their booze. Nope. Got blacked-out drunk and crawled to the catbox and rained an 18-beer fountain on it. Like standing piss in the box. The next morning my younger brother found it and asked what the fuck and my older brother covered it by saying "I dunno, the cat was making some weird noises lastnight."
This was actually the second piss-related incident at my parent's house that month involving him and alcohol.
EDIT: Holy shit sorry guys, I typed this and then went to bed. I'll give you a double-dose of my brother.
The other piss story: So my mother has five boys, and at the time the ages were under-10 to mid-20s. My older brother (the oldest of us all, we'll call him Gary) got tasked with watching the younger ones at my parent's house. He decided to come over and party it up while on kid patrol. Ten beers and a bunch of shots, pretty much turning babysitting into a drinking game. My parents get a call an hour after they left from a younger brother saying "Gary is passed out on the ground, and the other brother is hitting him with a wiffle bat." They rush home to find Gary ass'd out in the living room floor, at 9PM, with all of the lights on and the TV blasting BET music videos. Dad's pissed but they make the most of it
My older brother eventually crashes on their downstairs couch. The next morning, the birds are out and it's the morning time. My dad comes downstairs to find my brother gone. He walks over to the couch and steps in a soaked part of the carpet. He goes down to sniff. Dad instincts know what it is. Apparently sometime in the middle of the night Gary decided that he'd just take his penis out and start peeing, arc'ing it over the side of the couch onto my parent's white carpet. Again, this was a deep beer piss. We're talking a 4' x 3' zone just inundated with urine. My parents got a carpet cleaner out there and made my brother pay the bill. Also: told the whole extended family.
One final story:
So my older brother, Gary, is hanging out with my parents and partying and they decide to go out to a bar. They live in Alaska, in a smaller town, and decide to go to a trashy one. It's the one the Daily Show interviewed people in front of when they went to Wasilla to make fun of Palin. Everyone is having a good time until some cougar comes over and starts hitting on my dad (he's in his late 40s but looks young). Mom gets pissed and decides to leave with father in tow. Older brother stays. Fast-forward to five hours later. It's 4AM and my mother hears the doorbell ring. It's pitch black outside and the dead of winter (a few feet of snow, 10 degrees F, some wind) so she flips on the light and opens the door. Sees my brother and said cougar that hit on my dad on the porch, wasted. My brother is holding her in his arms. He says "HEYYY MOMMM" all slurred and tried to walk in. My mother, still pissed, just slams the door and turns off the porch light.
When the door opened the cabbie in the driveway backed up and rolled out, so my brother and this girl had to sit on the porch and call another cab and wait out there for half an hour. I think my brother was actually going to try to fuck said cougar on my parent's couch, the same one he pissed off of.
TL; DR: Brother has drinking problem.
Some fun facts about my brother: my brother is currently dating a woman my mother's age. Everyone's cool with it. My brother is an alcoholic and it's been getting worse. Alcohol is pretty routine in my family and in Alaska, hence why I had to dry out at 23 because I was drinking all day. He's been on steroids for a bit. He once successfully used Saran wrap as a condom after a Ziplock bag didn't work, with a girl he met at a bus stop (he doesn't ride the bus). Brother owns 100 pairs of shoes.
kvltc0re ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 10:30:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we're gonna need to hear about that first incident.
Reminds me of my cousin. He went for some beers after work and his girlfriend heard him come somewhere around 01:00. It took a while before he came to bed, so she went to check on him. She found him peeing in the trashcan.
He was 36 when he did this. And it was a weekday, so he had to go to work the next morning.
He works in the oil fields and drops money on whatever. His old apartment had a "shoe room" which was just shoes everywhere with a basketball bleacher bench to sit on and try them shits on. He likes to match his shoes to his shirt and hat. I love the guy to death but holy fuck are we complete opposites. He's actually really funny and I like to see what he's dropping money on and he has a kind heart, so whatever. And for Christmas he did get me some really nice Rockports and some whey/crazy speed pills from GNC. Dude nailed exactly what I wanted (except the Roxylean speed pills, but they worked so strike another point for Gary!).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My parents once thought my brother was an alcoholic, because they found a bottle of piss in the hallway. Seeing that, they assumed he had gotten blackout drunk and couldn't figure out how to get into he bathroom, so he pissed in a bottle in the hallway.
Actually my parents somewhat know the Palins. I got invited to a baby shower once. I used to tell my ex "watch out their fertile, you might come back with a kid". Maybe that's why she's my ex?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:17 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Props to you for recognizing the problem and fixing it. This is my second reply to this comment (now that there was an edit, I've re-read and decided to add my short story).
So my buddies and I got hammered one night, I ended up passing out on the couch, and my other friend... let's call him Salazar, passed out on the floor. The guy who lived there, Herbert, was asleep in his queen sized bed in his room. Well at one point in the night (I was having pretty restless, half conscious sleep) I hear what I think is the sound of piss bouncing off the carpet. It was a very distinct sound, even in my delirious state. Right next to the computer. Moments later, I hear Salazar slowly go to the ground and then basically collapse and pass out.
I didn't tell him til about a month later and his response was "Oh... so I guess thats why I woke up with my dick hanging out of my pants". When we told Herbert, he said "Well I guess thats why my computer smelled like piss for a month"
This might take the cake; when several people are in agreement that scrolling or swiping your thumb up for two seconds is just too much. http://i.imgur.com/2Gz9uHL.jpg
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 06:52:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sabjsc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:30:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I chortled at the word "chortled"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:34:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was really hoping it would end with him using the little scooper to clean out his own urine globs while his cat looked on disappointedly.
Hey, sooner or later every English verb will be regular.
Never going to happen. Can you think of any natural language in which the word for "to be" is regular?
edit: oh, and also--
Who are we to obstruct progress?
What is this supposed to mean? The "progress" of language change is a natural process with no inherent moral value. Whatever a language would turn into if we all tried not to interfere is in no way better than what it would turn into (or what it would remain as) if we did try to interfere. There's no Prime Directive in force here.
All right, there are a few verbs which may never be regular. That was definitely an overstatement. And "Who are we to obstruct progress" was essentially a joke. If I were being completely serious I might say, "I'd rather more verbs were regular. to be honest. I've no problem letting people make the error until it becomes the dominant mode of speech." If people adamantly oppose the change, though, you're right, it isn't going to happen, and neither way is inherently more correct, aside from the fact that one is commonly used and the other is not.
Well, sure. But if we try to slow down language change as much as possible, we'll be able to read classics of historic literature for longer, and it seems to me that that would be worth it.
I suppose that's true. I had never thought of that.
My thinking was that certain changes (basically the ones that make the language in general more regular and predictable) would make the language easier to learn, which would be good since so much of the world is learning it.
But you make a good point as well.
Aural_B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The username helps.
Blix3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have also peed in my cat's litterbox cuz drunk me didn't want to walk down the hall. I'm a girl.
c_mcfly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:08:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lived upstairs and the bathroom was downstairs. I was blackout drunk, pissed in the litter box, and woke up the next morning thinking it was a dream. Nope. I don't remember making this decision to use the litter box but I assumed my drunk brain thought I wouldn't make it down the flight of stairs. All of my friends and family still laugh about this but I'm just glad to know that there is someone else who made this decision in their drunken state of mind.
I can imagine the cat first looking totally confused and then attacking you while peeing in her toilet.
jde824 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think I want to meet you.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 09:05:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pissed in my cats litter box when I was like 8 because it pissed me off and I thought it would be hilarious, after that for the longest time that damn cat would poop in my bed if I didn't close my door.
I can just imagine the cat looking at you peeing in its box wondering what the fuck you were doing... and then watching you throw it out the window while yelling im not cleaning this up.
We had an extra litter box in the closet incase something like this happened.
WorldCat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:47:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was drunk a few weekends ago and the bathroom next to my room was too far so I chose to pee in my laundry bin that was full of clothes. That was just wonderful the next morning.
Holy shit. I did this at a party once in a strangers house. Pretty sure people were getting it on in bathroom so I had no option. I just remembered this after many years.
I'd be lying if I said I've never puked in my cat box while super wasted instead of going to the bathroom. Ended up tossing it out the next day too. I'd also be lying if I said I've only done this once... Haven't ever peed in it though but the thought sure has crossed my mind a few times. But I'm a girl so that would be harder...
I took a shit in the litter box once, because I didn't want to go upstairs to poop.
Jed118 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just piss in the sink? I do it all the time to save time in the morning when I am brushing my teeth. (it takes me 10 minutes from waking up to getting out the door, including breakfast - I like to sleep as late as possible)
Nowin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is easily the best one. The amount of work to 1) aim at the litter box, 2) throw away a litter box full of litter (15-20 lbs.?) and then 3) have to replace it with cat litter and everything certainly outweighs using one's own toilet.
I read it as "threw it into the garage" - My cat stopped using it's littler box (she's an outside cat) so i just threw her litter box, full of litter and probably cat pee, in the garage.
gundog48 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did a similar thing when I was young. The bathroom was downstairs and I was too lazy and scared of the dark to go in the middle of the night. I pondered on it briefly and realising that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep like this I proceeded to piss under the wardrobe. My logic was flawless.
at a [7] this was exactly what I needed. The imagery is just too much!
Dacowta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You love kittens so much that you wanted to be one yourself
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once pissed in a glass in my room because I couldn't be bothered to go to the toilet across the hallway. Found out my bladder's capacity is more than a pint.
chamora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tucker Max?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My housemate last year took a piss in one of his socks because he was too drunk to make it to the bathroom which is right next to his room.
Problem was, his girlfriend was trying to sleep in the room at the same time so when she heard the stream she woke up and asked what the hell he was doing. Which in turn freaked my housemate out because he was so drunk and forgot she was there, so he threw the piss covered sock at her mid-piss.
schmeryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was drunk last winter (Wisconsinite) and peed outside instead of going upstairs since my sister's fiancรฉ was occupying the ground floor one.
aeiah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone who did exactly the same thing, except he had a shit not a piss. and it was in the kitchen bin not the litter tray. and he didn't throw it out.
ive done that before twice, but the cat box is near the toilet, somewhere in my drunk brain I associate littler box with pee so thats where I should pee
That's what it must feel like to be a rich person. Don't bother with the dishes. Gold plated dishes are a dime a dozen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Usually if I'm drinking in my room I'll piss in empty beer bottles and cans. The worst part is that the bathroom is five steps away from my room, so much shame.
js155306 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I did the same thing to my parents' cat when I was living at home.
This cat was the bane of my existence - he was too fat to properly bathe himself and resisted all attempts to put him on a much-needed diet by making our lives a living hell whenever his food bowl was empty. He would even resort to eating out of the dogs' food bowls and tipping over garbage cans in search of scraps.
So one night I came home drunk, and of course the cat met me at the door, crying incessantly for food. Right then and there, I decided "it's about time I teach this bastard a lesson."
I made for the laundry room while the cat repeatedly threw his body in front of my feet, trying desperately to redirect me toward the kitchen. Not today. I flung open the laundry room door, unzipped and let loose into his litter box, loudly repeating "NOW YOU KNOW, MOTHERFUCKER, NOW YOU KNOW WHO'S THE TOP DOG AROUND HERE" over and over until I had finished my business.
I then went to bed and forgot all about the incident until a week later when my dad started to complain that the cat had been pissing in the garage.
I'm not sure why, but throwing an item in the garbage during a joke is one of the funniest things to me. There's a moment in It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia where Frank tells the gang to "just throw me in the trash" instead of buying him an expensive coffin. Favorite moment in the show. Last week on Parks and Recreation, Ben realizes the game he made is useless and he says "That's ok, I'll just throw all of this in the garbage". Best joke in the whole episode. I can't explain it, but you've once again tapped in to my favorite comedic moments. Thank you.
My ex girlfriend was toilet training her cat. She had this thing that was essentially a round litterbox that went under the toilet seat and there was a series of rings in it so you could punch a hole in it bigger and bigger to acclimatize the cat to eventually just using the toilet.
Anyway, I hated moving this thing to take a piss but it wasn't that big of a deal. One night we're drinking there and at this time the hole has got to the point where it's big enough to tempt me to just piss straight through. I manage it with just a dribble in the litter and am pretty satisfied with my aim so I figure that's how it's gonna be from now on. So the next morning I woke up and find that I'd gotten so drunk I had pissed 90% of the litter into the bowl and now there was just this ring of gray soupy piss directly under the toilet seat. I just left it and hoped she'd think it was the cat.
It's on Netflix, you could have taken it to the next level.
T_White ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 06:00:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think because it was on Netflix, he did take it to the next level. That's like saying, "The movie was on the floor right next to me, just under my chair... like, seriously within reaching distance with minimal effort, just right there, and I downloaded it."
Well, I rarely download anything, but when I do, I use UseNet. This requires me to download what I want, then I have the extra steps of unrar and par2. I guess in my world Netflix is less work, at least.
I'm a university student and with 60k of debt, I cant afford netflix, $8 can feed me for 2 weeks. So unless someone would be willing to share I have to bootleg everything I have, including games. Netflix cheap, my ass.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:36:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ok how do you eat for 1 week off of 4 usd? I'm unable to get under 40 EUR. I could stop eating meat and drinking coffee and subtract household goods and personal hygiene. But then it's still 25-30 at best.
Coupons man, until I went into the financial shit hole I never realized their true potential. Also what I mostly eat is rice, eggs, and soy sauce. I know its not the healthiest thing out there but it gets me by.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. Where do you find them? I only ever get coupons for Big Macs brrr. Btw I think your base diet is pretty healthy especially if you add milk. Rice gives you energy and fiber and eggs contain fat and a cocktail of many kinds of proteins. milk and eggs will get you nearly everything.
The Sunday papers. In our University the library gets free papers for students so I always pick up a copy or two at the library on Mondays and look for coupons I want. Yeah I like milk, but its rare for me to have some since it less often to have a sale on milk that it is on eggs. Also because sale is on gallons of milk usually i wouldn't want to waste it if I don't finish it. C'mon $.79 for a dozen that's enough to last me more than a week. LOL and the rice I buy a giant bag once at the Chinese district for $17 and that shit lasts me like 3-4 months. But yeah university really does teach me to treasure the Thanksgiving and Christmas feast I get to have back when I'm home.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:25 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yea there's always a good side to everything. Thanks for the tip, I'll get a newspaper and see.
Yup, yet still cant afford netflix LOL.. back to bootlegging
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yea man just watch out. Those wolves don't give a damn about you or anybody else for that matter. After all they are doing great so why can't you? Being in red sucks!
Yup, but after a while red teaches you to appreciate the little things in life... like top ramen, and pretty much anything else in the world lol...God I hate being in debt to these universities lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:15 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's commendable just don't become a defeatist ;)
Excuse me for my patronizing stance.
Haha, no worries. Yeah lol for me only way is up XD so I'm not too worried about being defeated
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:04 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well for my friends it was like 1-2k so assuming it's the same in Australia I guess you're pretty safe from sliding further. When I was a student I had 50 bucks a week, and I found it nearly impossible to live off 7.10 a day! Kudos!
Every movie or tv show related thread; "The most underrated movies... ON NETFLIX" I can watch anything any other way if I want to, I don't understand the fascination with Netflix.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Germany? Bad idea man. I literally had 2 friends who had to cough it up. About 1-2k. So if you're not up for that better stay away from hollywood movies.
I'm in Australia, I torrent movies I haven't seen and if I like them enough ill buy them on blu-ray.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh I wouldn't know about Australia. Safe to stay inside I suppose!
But ya took the words right out of their mouths! They both had quite the collection.
This movie was tedious to watch. For reference, I don't follow any of the super hero movies, I didn't see Superman (the new ones, the old trilogy is amazing) or any of the latest super hero movies (oh yea Iron Man, never watched it). Watching the Avengers was like America the commercial sponsored by the multitude of name brand products blatantly advertised throughout the 96 hour ordeal. On top of that, there was no plot. Just explosion featuring somewhat larger explosion. One of the super heroes lost their powers when they needed them most. A bomb almost went off. Fuck that movie, from the bottom of my heart.
lukeyq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:36 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My husband did this but I took advantage so Im guilty too. We were in his mancave attached to the garage. Its about 100 feet from the house. Using his cell he called the house phone. One of the kids answered and he told him to come to the cave. When he got there my husband told him to grab a beer out of the fridge that was about 10 feet away. I said, "While you're there, grab me a soda." I feel so ashamed.
But then there's the backspacing and i have to click to each bracket, which is hard on a laptop, and if i miss it i have to use the arrows... it's exhausting
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I understand. If I may suggest... I usually try to break overwhelming tasks into pieces. Maybe create a shortcut on your desktop that links to the comment. Then, once a day, for four days (or you can take days off, of course) just concentrate on changing one of the brackets. Before you know it, you'll be all done! It will feel really great when you've finished it, I'm sure!
let me give you an idea of how lazy I am. Been without health insurance for a year and a half because after taking 4 months to send in my application, they sent it back to me because i forgot to include a photocopy of my birth certificate or passport. If I'd returned it that week with the proper document, i wouldn't have to fill out a new form. since I was too lazy to do such, I've been putting off refilling the form (takes 5 minutes tops) for a year.
Did i mention my girlfriend works in a post office?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:03 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is lazy! Irrisponsibly so! It's resonating strongly with my own experience. At my previous place (I'm at my parents' now because I'mlazy ), I owned one plate and one bowl.
"Oh that's so sad. Poor lonely bachelor!" you might think. AND YOU'D BE AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT WRONG. You see, the dishes were for guests. If you couldn't put it in a tortilla or eat it out of a can, I didn't eat it. No dishes for me.
"Oh, disgusting, this guy only ate re-fried beans and cheese. Good thing he moved home!" YOU'RE 0 FOR 2. I said "if you couldn't put it in a tortilla" not "if it isn't traditionally found in a tortilla". I ate more than my fair share of salad burritos. Granted, one's "fair share of salad burritos" is squarely zero salad burritos, but be assured, I ate a lot of salad burritos.
I dont know if you mean this is a /r/thathappened type of thing, but I have also done this. I decided the 10 minutes to download it wouls be way more worth it to me than getting up and finding iy.
Yeah, I mean, I don't have terribly fast internet, but I mean a movie is like 800mb, and at 1.7mb/s download speed, it doesn't take too long to get. Much easier than going upstairs, looking to see where it was last, ect.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My old username was new2reddit but I forgot my password
Did this last Saturday, except I didn't want to walk back to my apartment (a whopping two blocks) to get it. So I downloaded 28 Days later because my girlfriend showed interest in watching it.
So while the movie is downloading we go out to the grocery store to get ice cream, which is literally in between our apartments. Then we went back, realized it wasn't done. So we had sex to pass the time until the movie was finished downloading.
We watched not more than five minutes of that movie before she got freaked out and we switched to a comedy.
Or give it to what makes you laugh and you feel deserves it. Every gold bought truly helps reddit.
bem13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's true and of course it's his money to do what he wants with it. But I don't feel my two-word comment deserves gold.
I just hate to see it when someone types up a long and insightful comment explaining something and it only gets a few upvotes, while a simple one (like mine) gets thousands and maybe even gold.
Then again, it's a way to support reddit and I'm all for that, just thought I'd share my opinion on the matter.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would, but i don't think my computer has that much space.
kid_blue ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:03:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No joke, when I first saw that movie I thougt "ofc I wouldnt download a car" some out of guilt and some because it would be impossible to drive around in a "downloaded" car.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:57:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Comcast is the fastest speeds around where i live. I live too far off the road so Comcast won't give me internet service. The amount that I am paying the company that will give me internet service for 8 down, would be getting me 50 down at a cheaper cost after the two year contract expires through Comcast.
This is what customer service (horrible horrible horrible) tells me every time I call, but I don't think I've ever had 50 Mbps. I have fluctuations all the time, especially with streaming Netflix. But Comcast is the only ISP in my neighborhood, so until that changes, they can continue to supply inconsistent service without much consequence.
Moobl4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:08:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the same boat as you. Then we literally stopped getting internet entirely for god knows what reason, after having recently fixed issues that were going on for months. There was no way to get it working from that point, so we were forced to cancel.
Comcast is evil.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
its not inconsistent. look at that comcast policy closer. say you buy a 20 mbps package. you are not actually guaranteed that speed, or anything within an acceptable range. you are only guaranteed up to that amount, but not over that amount.
Oh don't feel too bad. I pay for 8 Mb/s down, but I get that very rarely. If I am getting 6, it is a good day.
I think all internet service providers are assholes just for the fact that they can be. You are most likely using them because they are your best option, and your life without internet would be very uncomfortable.
JBHUTT09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:26:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Try 1 bit.
taidana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Comcast has a contract... Wtf? I thought time warner was bad. Tbh though time warner is pretty good if it didnt go down all the time. It is pretty fast 60 mbs but it goes down for like 30 minutes all the time. It is not just me, it happens to everyone i know. Fucking weird
Well, we should allot them some luxuries to offset the horror of living in Australia. Death creeps around every corner there...usually in the form of a very large spider that just ate a bird as an appetizer. Gotta keep that moral up!
They aren't rolling out gigabit or anything but Comcast offers pretty good internet for the most part. They are still a dick lick of a company but the services they provide really aren't that bad. There are millions of people in the world who would kill for 50 mb download speeds.
I download at 9 MB (56Mb) per second and I have Comcast - a very very fast speed... Because of this, I never understand where people are coming from when they mention their Comcast speeds.
The reason people say this is because comcast uses line share technology. That is to say that if you're having "40mbps" pumped into your house you're really having 40mbps pumped into your the first house in your line share "loop" and whatever they don't use is transferred to the next house and the next and so on and so forth. The result being the huge variables in speed that people experience with cable. So, depending on your location in relation to the node in your area and the amount of ports taken up you will have varying experiences.
Tl;dr comcast uses line share and everyone in a specific "loop" shares Internet.
I think my issue is that, with the exception of my Xbox, everything else in my house is wifi. I'm by no means an Internet genius, but I'm guessing that wifi download speeds are going to be considerably slower than wired, yeah?
qdog1342 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:45:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wired generally is faster, but a good router can get you pretty close
We have a very top of the line router now and it outputs the same speed as wired, if even slightly lowered, but our old one that we had prior had very very bad wireless to wire speed ratio.
56mbps should put you closer to 7. usually it's like 1/8th because 8 bits per byte afaik. I'm no expert, but it seems to be true with my speeds, and most other people's i've used and tested
I too have done that. "Hey, watching ________ sounds like a good idea!" Hmmm...is it in the entertainment system, maybe the office or maybe....fuck it, I'll just download it!
I've done this too. I knew i had it on an external hard drive. But the external hard drive was in the drawer next to me. And it meant getting up, pulling it out and plugging it in.
I have you beat. A few weeks ago I was so lazy, I torrented a copy of a film that my own father produced and directed because I was too lazy to go to the next room where we had 500 unopened copies in the drawer. It was worth it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've played movies on Netflix that I own and are kept in my entertainment center.
jacenat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I downloaded a movie instead of going upstairs reach into the shelf besides the desk to grab the DVD.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i have a hard drive on my desk, which is three feet from my desk, with pretty much every movie i'd ever want to watch, yet i find myself redownloading everything from my computer when i'm on my bed.
Computer next to bed. DVD case on the floor nearby. Decide to download movie rather than pick up the case and look through it. Realise that I'm lying back and the keyboard is out of reach without sitting up. Give up and watch something already downloaded.
I downloaded porn instead of having sex with my girlfriend...
Degru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was the same, except it wasn't as lazy. I was on my netbook, and I wanted to watch a movie. DVD was upstairs, and a USB DVD drive was in another room. I could've gotten the DVD and watched it with the USB disc drive, or I could've used the disc drive to make an ISO to watch later.
I ended up just downloading it from TPB. Got an HD version as well!
I do this all the time kinda. Rather than going downstairs to get my USB stick, bringing it upstairs to put a movie on, then taking it back downstairs to watch it...
I just put the movie into my work dropbox (cloud folder) and grab it on the laptop downstairs.
covey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did this when I wanted to play Deus Ex once. Really couldn't be bothered to go upstairs when I was nice and comfy on the sofa with my headphones on. Piratebayed that shit.
SOFLAM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would do this too if my staircase was a four day walk...
Aussie internet is great.
You're not alone. I've downloaded TV shows before because I didn't feel like getting the remote.
Dakrys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once streamed a TV show that I had on my hard drive, in my lap, because I didn't want to have to find it.
Decyde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've downloaded a movie before because I didn't know what drive it was on. Then I didn't want to have to copy that movie from that drive over to my main drive to stream it on my TV. I also didn't want to sync that drive with my device so I could stream anything on it in the future when it was plugged in.
Waiting 20 minutes for it to download seemed like the only logical choice.
I often will actively search Sky & Netflix in an attempt to find a film, instead of going downstairs to get the DVD. Doesn't matter if it takes me 30mins to find it - it's still easier than the 30s it would take to get up and retrieve the DVD. I'll also record films on Sky, deleting other recorded programs in the process if i'm running out of space - instead of getting the DVD. I don't know why I keep buying DVDs.
I used to work in the home of this millionaire Hollywood producer with a MASSIVE movie collection. His daughter asked him for a Disney movie she wanted to watch. Instead of trekking the three flights of stairs down to his theater to grab it he pulled it up on amazon clicked buy and said it will be here tomorrow.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I like to see. DVD has already been purchased. Goddamn respect for sunk costs.
slimzimm ยท 419 points ยท Posted at 07:36:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't want to get up to get scissors to open a package I had, so I grabbed the cat and used his claws. It was soft plastic and the cat was indifferent.
My family calls that "Familyname Plates." But not Familyname, our actually family name. I don't want to say it, because Apacella is kind of an unusual surname, and people might find my identity.
I don't know either, but my friends who know I do this always make this face at me. And yet, I'm the only one who is never too lazy to brush my teeth at night among us! This is unjust.
Atleast you take the time of making yourself something... Im still in highschool living with my parents. My dad told me to take some soup from the bowl. I was so lazy to get the soup, i took a loaf of bread instead..
My family is so lazy that when we cook something, we don't move the food to serving dishes anymore and instead take food directly from pot/pan to plate. There have been a few times when I've gotten so lazy that I just scooped up soup into my mug... by dipping the entire mug into the pot.
Blacky31 ยท 1668 points ยท Posted at 03:47:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a 1000 pack of disposable plates and cutlery.
gsfgf ยท 1483 points ยท Posted at 05:09:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But then you have to take the trash out. And that requires pants.
I have been known to put the dog out on his chain in the front yard, while was in my undies. ( i'm a girl) Just peek outside quick , anybody there? No?
edit: dog
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:27:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
the dog, I presume. I've chased after mine in only my boxers and a T-shirt because she ran off. Completely shocked some old Asian lady on the side of the street.
Yeah, I type faster then my brain . I don't think that I've been seen by my neighbors. But, I don't think I would be surprised if I have reputation for showing my self off to the locals. All cause, I'm too lazy to put on pants and a shirt, or even a bathrobe.
Treypyro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:36:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what roommates are for. I'll clean the inside of the house pretty often, way more than my roommates do. But I have lived here for like 6 months and I have only taken the trash out twice. I feel accomplished with life.
I will fully admit to taking the garbage to the curb without wearing pants. I'll just throw on a long coat or a bathrobe since I only have to walk to the bottom of the front steps.
clonetek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just wait for nighttime. Near the dumpster nobody can see your tighty whiteys.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OH my god. This is my fucking train of thought
Archonet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Almost nothing requires pants when you have a bathrobe.
Almost.
Jed118 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At the building I used to live at (a real shithole), Indians would throw their kids' diapers from the balcony to "around" the vicinity of the trash bin. I know this because I almost got hit with one walking out of the underground garage. Whatever didn't make it into the dumpster splatted all over the parking lot and garage ramp. Fucking dirty!
My gf at the time and I did the old "light the bag of shit on fire and knock on the door" trick at least a few times, burned the hallway carpet and all.
The tossing of the diapers stopped eventually, but putting cat feces on the door knob was required.
I have one of those amazing garbage chutes right outside my door. I could probably throw the trash in there still havign both my feet in the apartment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You get me
Dasbaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
With that snobby attitude it does. For the true internet kings, it only requires an abilty to brave the cold while doing the helicopter penis.
Great, now I am imagining an overweight man wearing nothing but a white T-shirt and socks walking outside with bin bags. Stopping to wave at the neighbours, in the process raising the T-shirt just a little too high...
Your mom and everyone else that thinks they're clever.
FLOOTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then whats the bad china?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:42:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i.e. Made in Taiwan
banaltram ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 03:57:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I seriously consider that every time I'm at the grocery store...but I still have to wash the pot. Unless I switch to only eating things that can be made in a skillet, then I could just rinse it out with hot water, dry it, and be done.
Even better, switch to all microwaveable premade containers like me! I even buy plastic cups for drinking my Hawaiin punch because fuck dishes with a 980 foot dildo. Yay for processed food and 20 grams of sodium a day!
Or buy only microwavable diners and plastic forks then you don't even need a skillet and you save on buying the paper plates. Drink juice/milk out of the jug, connect a short hose to the sink and drink out of that directly. I haven't done dishes in over a year now.
You don't mess around, do you? That is some serious dedication, sir. I am impressed.
NightGod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get a crock pot, make one meal a week and leave it on warm so you don't have to reheat it. You'll need to add some water every so often to keep it from drying out. You'll have to wash one thing a week (the crock pot, which is wide open and washes out insanely easy after you let it soak for about 15 minutes). You can even get crock pot liners to eliminate that step.
1,000? I go balls to the wall. Called up Dixie and have them ship me entire boxes full of disposable. Next movie is to get one of those informercial pans that nothing ever sticks to.
My environmental side always prevented me this level of laziness.. but last month I found compostable disposables plates at the grocery store.. lets just say my life has change.
note: I actually compost shits believe it or not (could also be taken literally since I also compost my dog shit).
Wastes less water (and electricity for heating it).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is so wasteful
Rub3X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I go to Sam's Club and buy the biggest bag of paper plates and cups. Only thing I wash is the forks which don't take up space and can build up in the dish washer for a looong time without needing to be washed.
800 paper plates from the supermarket, 500 plastic forks and 500 plastic knives from Costco. I do manage to wash spoons because I use them often for soup, and plastic doesn't work so well with that kind of hot stuff.
My mom came down with the flu. She's usually the one to put the glassware in the dishwasher. Since she was sick, I started doing the dishes but after washing only a few, I dropped a glass on the kitchen floor. Dad tells me to go out and buy a bag of paper cups. 7 Years later, we only drink from paper cups.
I am a married man with a wife and a child on the way. I do this constantly just because my wife and I are too lazy to do dishes until we run out of coffee mugs. Then we buy more mugs.
withfries ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 09:36:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this. Doing so was the best decision I made, and it led to other life adjustments. I can't believe how much time I used to devote to the upkeep of daily life. I want to say I use the time productively, but I probably don't. However, I am so much more relaxed. I do use dishes for guests, to keep up appearances as a normal person.
Yes, when company comes over I do try to pretend I'm a normal human being who uses plates and bowls and stuff.
irgs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't eat anything that takes longer to "pre"-pare than it does to eat. Defining preparation as anything other than the actual eating, washing dishes comes under preparation.
Edit: Also, I'm struggling to think of anything that doesn't take either zero or one plates per person. What are you talking about, more than four?
My pot doesn't have a lid anymore because I broke it, so all pastas have to be drained in a colander. That brings the total to 3 dishes, the 4th is a spare incase my spoon/fork slips into the pot and I have to fish it out with another spoon/fork.
irgs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea what you're even talking about now. I have no idea what you're eating. Things you have to cook.
I thought you were confused as to how I arrived at 4 dishes being a consideration factor in what I decide to cook, so I was explaining where/how I picked that number.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It used to be.... then I got married. Now I get yelled at for using a spoon and scratching the bottom of the pot. She actually expects me to pour the mac and cheese from the pot into a DIFFERENT bowl. Who has the time and energy for that?
irgs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I mainly eat frozen pizzas, and the reason is that the box that it comes in is pretty much a disposable plate for it. And it isn't wasteful like the disposable plates thing because you were going to throw it out anyway.
dechlat ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:38:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of relevant, but I hate folding clothes. If only there was some way to avoid making my clothes unwrinkled
Even better, hang them in the bathroom while you shower. Steams the wrinkles out! Even less work than using the dryer, since I'm assuming you're showering anyway.
yup, i do that too. and if it's not completely out then i toss it in the dryer while i'm getting ready, but i definitely hang it up & give it the steam treatment first!
I also hate folding clothes...but I'm lucky, my fiancee won't let me touch the laundry.
I never pair and fold my socks, I just stuff them in my sock drawer, then when I need socks I open the drawer and pull two out. As long as they are both the same style and thickness I couldn't care less if they match and it drives him nuts.
I bought a crapton of hangers on Amazon for this reason. Hanging clothes is less annoying than folding, especially since I am too lazy to buy a dresser.
This is what I tell my fiancee when he comes home to find me eating mac'n'cheese out of the pot with a mixing spoon. I am also 100% serious when I say it, haha.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not lazy that's smart!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:26:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it terrible?? We always complained about washing them and one time, they had been sitting for days. We were trying time decide who was going to wash them. I took a bowl and threw it across the room into the garbage. We were laughing so hard and made it into a game.
Thats not lazy just being economical, why waste extra washing-up liquid when the pan does the same job as a plate?
Machegav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't lazy, it's just good housekeeping. I have friends who will cook food in a pot, ladle it into a serving dish, bring it to the table, then serve it onto plates with a separate utensil. They just love doing dishes I guess.
Whereas I will occasionally just wait for the soup pot to cool a bit, then drink directly from it.
My ex was one of ~those~ people who would never reuse a dish. If he had a glass of water, and after that wanted orange juice, he would use a different glass...apparently the drop of water in the glass would contaminate the juice. Or he would make a pot of soup and use a regular soup spoon to stir it, then put it in a bowl which he would put on a plate to "catch the drips", then he'd use a different (yet identical) spoon to eat it.
I got so fed up one day that I left 1 plate, 1 bowl, 1 mug, 1 glass, 1 fork, 1 knife, and 1 spoon on the counter and took the rest of the dishes to my friend who lived a few doors down. I told him I'd bring the dishes back when he learned to reuse/wash them.
Machegav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:34 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It frustrates me sometimes that my fiancee doesn't rinse dishes off when she's done using them. It makes it so much easier to clean properly later.
Soaking dishes is my attack plan when confronted with a situation where dishwashing is inevitable. The longer they soak the more likely I am able to get them almost completely clean with a quick rinse and my dish wand.
Zrk2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bro, I made spagetti over the summer because I could make like 5 servings at once, and only create one dish. Somehow this was a source of much humour at work.
I didn't say it was impossible...just really painful and generally unpleasant...says the girl who eats the un-popped popcorn at the bottom of the bag...
Me either...I mean it would be one thing if I had people over for supper and put a pot and 5 spoons on the table and said "here you go, enjoy the soup"...but if it's just me, why dirty 5+ dishes when a pot doubles as a bowl and you can eat with the mixing spoon you used to stir it to begin with.
anscmc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My best worst first date was a 4-wheeling adventure involving 2 large mud holes, getting covered head to toe in muck, getting completely lost, and going through a corn maze before bothering to try and figure out where we were, and eventually calling his dad to come get us and the 4-wheeler because we had no idea how to get back.
We were together for 5 years...so I'd say it was a successful first date.
I perfected a number of one pot meals so I can go like 5 days eating different things and only having 1 dirty pot and 1 dirty fork.
travio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My old roommate would do this and it pissed me off so much. Mainly because we had the one pot and got home at the same time. If he made his ramen first I had to wait until he finished before I could cook my ramen. I miss undergrad.
I've tried very hard to explain that to my fiancee...I've also played the "eco-friendly" angle - no water is wasted, dish soap is saved, electricity is saved (no dishwasher being used)...he doesn't go for that though.
He's all about "proper" and social norms, food goes on plates, cereal is not an acceptable supper and macaroni and cheese is not a breakfast food, sit on chairs not the floor...sigh
I have done this on many occasions, too. Bread makes a good plate - it holds the food, you don't have to wash it, and it a very important part of a balanced diet.
It's not lazy, it's an eco-friendly, health driven solution to the dish washing problem.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My fiancee comes home to find me doing this a few times a month, and every time he tells me all about how civilised people have these new-fangled contraptions called plates...if my supper wasn't in the pot I was eating out of, I'd probably hit him with it.
He's the same about me drinking beer from the can. He insists on using a glass, and when I grab a beer from the fridge and go sit down, he will go to the kitchen and come back with a glass, and if I'm not holding onto the beer when he gets back, he'll pour it in the glass for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently wine out of the bottle is a no-no. Go figure.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
House mates complain that i never do dishes. I never make food that requires dishes so i dont have to do them. Fuck cleaning shit that aint mine. If i have to use a plate i wash it myself afterwards.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Welp, at least you'd use a pot. Cooking to me is just baking things (fish, potatoes etc) in foil so that I can throw everything after eating.
Jed118 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather used to do this, and once as a child at 8, (I had to make my own meals, parents worked late, so if I wanted dinner, had to make it myself) I did just that with a pot of rice and a tray of nuggets or some shit - Put the tray and the pot on the table, grabbed a spoon, and ate with it. Did this for weeks to avoid doing the dishes (I'd leave some rice in the pot and put it in the fridge, and just have to wash the tray) until my mom came home from work early and saw me eating like this.
She said to use plates like a civilized person - I retorted with "Grandpa does it" to which she said, "He also smokes two packs a day and starts the morning off with vodka. Why don't you do that, too?"
I once had only 1 clean dish left. Instead of doing dishes I wrapped that fucker in foil for every meal and used the same dish for a week straight. Proudest moment in college.
I can honestly say that given all the time in the world...I'd never use it to wash the dishes unless given damn good incentive, like $1,000,000 might get me to voluntarily wash a dish.
All other chores are fine...I happily mop the floors and clean the bathrooms multiple times a week. Dishes? Nope.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:44:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of that joke:
A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk says no.
The duck comes back the next day and asks, "Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk says no again.
The duck comes back the following day and asks, "Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk, now frustrated, says, "No, we do not have any grapes. We didn't have grapes yesterday, or the day before, and we don't have them today. If you ask me that again, I'm going to staple your foot to the floor."
The duck comes back the next day and asks, "Do you have any staples?"
My computer is doing that right now. I gave it 'ask me in 4 hours', thinking I'll be done with Reddit by then. But you're never really 'done' with Reddit.
Guys! This motherfucker skipped the sentence. That was very crafty and I think he deserves some kind of minor meaningless reward. I wish I could think of something.
&wadsworth=1 just add this to the end of the YouTube URL, it skips straight to the good bit. Named after /u/wadsworth who suggested on here a while ago
iamplasma ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:40:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It should be clarified, this skips 30% of the way in. Wadsworth was the guy who pointed out that virtually all youtube videos can be skipped in this way, because every goddam youtube video creator fills the first 30% with useless filler and intros (and that seems to be the case no matter how long the video is).
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:37:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is impatient, not lazy.
MxM111 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:44:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
YouTube Options add-on for Chrome. Click "Observe Wadsworth's Constant" button to always skip 30% into the video. They say that the first 30% of any video is irrelevant to the video. Intros, lead-ins and other nonsense.
It was the cat one set to the song 'Sail' wasn't it?
MannR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
add this to the end of any youtube video "&wadsworth=1." i can't find the thread but it will skip the first 30% or so of each video as most interesting things in the video happen after that
I once skipped ahead 3 seconds in a video because the particular part was boring...
abqguy ยท 1346 points ยท Posted at 07:09:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ran out of clean bowls for cereal. So I lined the bowls with foil, over the old food and made a bowl of cereal. After that I threw away the foil and did it again the next day.
I was out of the country for a few weeks, and the morning I came back, I saw my boyfriend eating cereal out of a measuring cup with a plastic spoon. I can never leave again.
Reminds me of Black Books; "I am currently eating scrambled eggs with a comb. From a shoe." edit Rock_Me-Amadeus is right, I put baked beans originally.
You sir, lack imagination. But anyway: I have eaten milk from my mama when I was to young to eat cereal, so I guess thats a tie?
efhs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:22:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Next to my bed currently i have 2 measuring jugs, one gigantic bowl, the top of some scales and a cake tin, all of which have been used for cereal then not cleaned. Moral of the story, your husband isn't too bad.
consider yourself lucky, my girlfriend came home to soup from a Coffee Shop paper cup (used) and a wooden fork thing that they use for samples (also used). (eat the real food and drink the broth)
blumpkin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:47 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like drinking out of a measuring cup. It lets me know exactly how much I have had to drink.
I've been there, except we were out of plastic spoons so I had to use the melon baller.
SnakeJG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:04 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
My wife (girlfriend at the time) was between jobs but had money saved up, so took a 10 day trip to Panama and Costa Rica while I stayed home working. She was shocked to find the same dirty pan in the sink upon her return.
Slade645 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:42:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
they do this at a lot of cheapo (read: 3rd world hygiene) restaurants in Asia, except they use plastic bags. The chopsticks... are not covered in plastic bags, nor are they disposable. You can rub them clean with a napkin though.
This was how we avoided cleaning the grill for 6 months.
Just tinfoil the crap out of it!
Another time I spilled fish/cheese sauce in the microwave so just put a plate over it. By the end of the year, no-one had cleaned it up so the plate had been fused to the microwave dishthingy with the sauce. You could pick up the entire glass tray by holding the small plate stuck to it with fish/cheese sauce.
In college, we hooked up those hamster water bottles to our headboards with a wire so that we could drink from them when hungover. It enabled us to just open our mouth instead of having to move any other part of our body.
Keep the innards and get a black shell for like $10. Boom, money saved!
DGunner ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:49:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Better than being that guy walking around with a regular camelbak. Whe. I see uncommon sportsy gear that has obvious military connections I think "soldier", when i see uncommon sportsy gear that looks not related to the military at all I think "douche".
Depends on what they're doing, if there's a need for I'm fine. If you're just tooling around campus, yea douche.
I wear one when I take motorcycle rides in the summer, in full gear, when it's 90-100 out, you have to otherwise you run the real risk of heat exhaustion and dehydration. General rule of thumb is at least a pint every hour.
Haha! I have one. This was late 90's though. I probably didn't know what a camel pack was back then. Certainly couldn't afford one. Our buddy bought the hamster bottles at the dollar store.
Thank you! Whenever we were hungover, we'd lay in the same bed and try to get people to being us food and water. We always talked about wanting those bottles, cause we could barely move. One day, our amazing friend brought us two of them, and he hooked them up to each of our beds. Incredible!
I can honestly agree. That, and relationships. I learned more about life in general than I did from any specific class.
ucbiker ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:41:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ahahaha. I once had a hangover so bad, that I just let a Brita water bottle drip water into my mouth one drop at a time. I just stared at the ceiling for an hour letting water drip into my mouth before I was able to get out of bed. That was less out of laziness and more out of physical incapability of holding down the water.
I hung a Camelbak from my bed frame to do the same job, it was brilliant.
sylviad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:23:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have cats that love to drink out of or knock over water that I keep on my headboard for when I wake up. After yet another rude, wet awakening, I finally realized that I could reuse the Gatorade bottles that my hangovers were generating as catproof resevoirs! Now I have delicious, faintly cucumber-lime flavored treats to hazily reach for in the morning... and fuck my cats, those jerks have a fountain.
roxasaur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:55:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Until the cat drops a full gaterade bottle square on your face in the middle of a nice dream. Cats are dicks.
palanski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha. This is hilarious.
ChewyAG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:48:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
USblues ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:49:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bladder from a camelback is the perfect solution for your attempt. Haven't slept without one since the night I figured it out. I don't even have to pick up my head to drink.
I've taken that call, just once. But it wasn't the first time this regular had done it. The server knew who it was on the phone when I told her. First thing I thought of "The call, it's coming from inside the restaurant!"
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:38:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna do that too
Evref ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Go to a Korean restaurant and your mind will be blown by the little buttons
[deleted] ยท 2512 points ยท Posted at 06:29:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why the hell isn't there a flag system at restaurants? Every table gets two flags and a flag stand. One flag is red, one is green. If you need something, you put up the red flag. If you want to be left alone and enjoy your god damn meal without your conversation being interrupted, you put up the green flag. It makes everyone's life easier.
Sometime just please do this. I don't care if you take credit for this brilliant idea, just make it happen.
Japanese diners just have a button you can press, and somewhere in the restaurant there's a ding and your table number appears to alert the waitstaff that you want someone to come to you.
I fear for the day one of the buttons break and the patrons of that table become increasingly distraught as everyone ignores them. I say fear, but I really mean that I gave a devilish chuckle over the thought.
Alobis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:24:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's also acceptable to yell sumimasen, effectively excuse me, across a restaurant to attract the attention of waitstaff.
Coming from Australia this was one of the weirdest things to get used to.
Faxon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you yell either "Gomennasai" or "Sumimasen", depending on if you're in a nicer place or a cheaper establishment and how long you've been waiting and the quality of the service up to that point, with the former being the less formal. I used to go out for japanese with a few japanese friends and a white fiend (more on him) for food. Whenever we went to one of the places they picked it was usually a japanese restaraunt/diner/ramen bar or whatever they fancied, staffed and patroned by almost 100% japanese people familiar with japanese customs. Hearing either one yelled was quite frequent whenever someone wanted service, and it was always responded too quickly and promptly on good days (when we tipped accordingly for the impeccable service). On bad days you'd hear more of the less formal to begin with followed by at least an extra louder yelling of whatever the person fancied if they were hungry enough.
Vakiand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The diners here aren't very big at all as a lot of them usually serve one type of dish as a specialty. All you need to do is raise your hand really and you'll be assisted shortly after.
Well, here in Korea those buttons usually have a light that lights up after you pressed it to confirm that it worked and even if nobody heard a 'ding' waiters passing by will still see it.
This was a very exciting post, I appreciated the twist.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It makes a ding so you can hear that it went through, if you don't hear it you can just get up and walk up to an employee and mention the button is broken or gesture them to come to you and explain the situation. So usually it works better, sometimes you have to put a little bit more effort
I completely hate that. I know it's culture, but I feel like an asshole when I yell it out.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:32:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Even just saying "bla bla bla ์ฃผ์ธ์" makes me feel bad, since I know I'm just saying "Please give me bla bla bla" when I want to say "Could I please have bla bla bla."
Zagorath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:03 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, to the English speaker that's still a heap more polite than how the French order things.
"Je voudrais bla bla bla" translates as "I would like bla bla bla".
Dparse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it's a different language, and what you said in French isn't rude at all. English gets rather obsequious with its politeness.
Zagorath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:14 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm aware. I was merely pointing out that to an English speaker, the literal translation of French sounds less polite than the literal translation of Korean. In each case it's not considered impolite at all to a native speaker.
I know! I never said it once. The year we were there, we went to the local diner several times a week, so we were fairly friendly considering the language barrier, but I still felt like it was far too rude to call out "yeogio!", so I just always awkwardly walked over to them instead.
Zagorath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:22 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel a little better, the "์" literally* means "this is polite".
* by literally I literally mean figuratively
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
and how would you know??? heh??
TPHRyan ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 07:47:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I find this odd, because at certain Japanese restaurants that I frequent, the waiting staff can just read your brainwaves.
I miss having enough money to go out for sushi during this time of the year. There is this one roll that I love called the 'Foxy Lady': Tempura calamari, wrapped in salmon, avocado and crunchy batter on top. Roll is served over a mango/peach sauce. Wow, I love that roll.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's gonna be a chilly one too, but the cold is kinda refreshing. This place is at its prettiest sometimes, when it's cold. A man can see for miles and the sky lifts on up. The cold is actually what makes this place.
peon47 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:13:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Japanese diners just have a button you can press, and somewhere in the restaurant there's a ding and your table number appears to alert the waitstaff that you want someone to come to you.
Also, on every airplane in the world.
noiplah ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:46:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I call it the "hi button"
You press it and someone says "Hai" (ie: "yes!")
Many many giggles at a table full of immature gaijin :)
Some of the restaurants in Malaysia has three buttons; order, bill and cancel. Makes life so much easier when you don't need to wave your hand like an idiot. Sakae Sushi has like an online menu thing, and you don't even need a waiter to take your order. You can refill your own hot tea at your own table too.
I miss that so much. I was in a yakitori restaurant in Southern California the other day that really took me back to Japan. They were only missing the button!
It really lets you relax and enjoy your meal in a busy restaurant because you know someone will come after you press it --instead of trying to flag down your waitstaff.
Everywhere that serves food in Korea has one of those call buttons somewhere on the table. Haven't been to a resteraunt or bar yet that didn't. It's amazing!
jimbo21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Which is super-awkward when you don't figure out what the button is for and nobody comes to help you. I speak from experience.
Iceman_B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They also appear next to your table in under 5 seconds. I'm not joking. Last year I was eating at the Saizeriya, and they took at most 3 seconds to reach our table.
If they took longer, my friend joked "wow, they are slow today".
One restaurant I know here in the Netherlands has the same concept, but with a slower response time. It still is a superb system, no stress, no mess.
It's only trumped by a touchscreen/tablet ordering system.
Chinese restaurants too, it's awesome and really efficient. In some, you can even download their mobile app and place your order through their app, saving you from having to rush ordering because the waiter is.. waiting.
brp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in Japan and me and some coworkers switched our bell with the empty table next to us. When people say at the table, we started ringing the bell and staff would run to them to ask what they wanted. Words were exchanged in Japanese and the waiter would leave. This went on for 5 minutes before they figured it out and we all had a good laugh.
There is a Japanese restaurant in my city that has touch screens, on which you can order anything, or request waitstaff. You can even see the status of whatever you have ordered (order taken, cooking, waiting to be brought to table). It is pretty awesome.
They also have a dish called Wasabi Roulette, which is six sushi arranged around a plate, and one of them is packed with wasabi.
These are pretty popular in my country but customers prefer to just shout and waiters never bothered replacing the batteries so it's usually back to square one.
draekia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately this buzzer is only around sometimes. Fortunately, however, once you order/receive your food they almost never return to bother you again until summoned.
midzo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gyu-don (a Japanese don buri shop near my home) does this.
Most of the chain Izakaiyas do the button but it's acceptable anywhere to call over your waiter and flag them down. Nothing rude about it. Not sure why it's rude here in the USA. Well also you don't tip in Japan either.
I'm sure that would go well with today's spoiled people and bratty children.
Kid: ding ding ding
Waiter: Sigh... yes, sir?
Mother: Oh, how cute! He called you over!
Waiter: Yes, madam, how may I help you?
Mother: Oh, I don't need anything, it was just my son playing around.
Later:
Mother: "WHY THE HELL ISN'T ANYONE COMING TO MY TABLE?!
Waiter: My apologies, I thought it was your son playing with the button again.
Mother: Aww hell naw aint no give you no right to ignore me a paying customer aw wait you blaming mah son for something i wanna speak to your manager now and get this food for free i mean shieeet!
I went to a bar/restaurant in Japan where they had a tambourine at my table that I was supposed to shake to get their attention. After I got drunk, I never had so much fun with a tambourine.
sireel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:05:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
in "Yo! Sushi" (Sushi chain in the UK, maybe elsewhere) the tables have buttons which play a random sound over the speakers that music comes through, and a light near your table turns on. Jokes on them though, most food is served on the belt so you don't need waiters much :D
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:31:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the same for South Korea. Glorious.
Shaysdays ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 07:33:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fogo de Chao and other Brazilian meat houses have this system.
Yeah, the Brazilian BBQ that I've been to in Sydney has a cardboard disk. Red on one side, green on the other. Keep the green side showing if you want more meat. Flip it to red when you're full.
I was at Fogo de Chao with a bachelor party and we ate so much meat that we got "shadow-red buttoned" and none of the skewer guys would stop at our table. I had to go to the manager and tell him keep it coming.
I ate 6 bacon wrapped fillets alone, not to mention all the other servings of beef and lamb, wine, and the magnificent antipasta bar. I was so full I couldn't drink anything for the rest of the night because I couldn't fit anything else in my stomach.
Oh god, the meat sweats. But worth it.
Pottski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:41 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Except they start ignoring you after a certain amount of time if you keep asking for too much. Well excuse me BlueFire Grill in Melbourne - it's called all you can eat for a reason - what's the attitude!
schammy ยท 571 points ยท Posted at 07:27:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bubba Gump's in Maui does it. Can confirm is awesome.
I live near the mall of america and its pretty good!
g0_west ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure its just a licensed chain seafood place.
skratakh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bear in mind I'm from the UK, I just assumed it was a fake brand they made up for the book/film. I still can't believe casa Bonita is real.
g0_west ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, I think it is a fake brand. I mean I think after the films success, they set up seafood places called Bubba Gump. I only know about it because I saw one in Japan and it looked pretty much like a TGI Fridays or Franky and Bennys
It's one of my favourite restaurants. It's all based around the film (film is playing on screens, dishes named after characters etc), and there is one coming to London in the new year!
skratakh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
cool, i don't live anywhere near london though. might have to visit when i next make an adventure down south
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can you confirm something I've always wondered: Did Bubba Gumps shrimp come first, and was "Product placed" into the film, or was the restaurant a spin off of the film? Always wanted to know....
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:40:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
INvestigation appears to show the shrimp shack came after the film. TIL.
Cyrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The restaurants were started by Viacom's licensing division two years after the film. Viacom owns Paramount Pictures, the studio that made the film.
schammy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't sure if there was more than one Bubba Gump's or not, as that's the only one I've ever seen. I assumed that they all would do it if that was the case though.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hope to god you didn't waste your time on Bubba Gump's and ate at an actual seafood place in Maui though...
Wiggles7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why eat at some local steak house when you have an Applebees right down the road?
schammy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a huge sea food person, other than sushi. I think I usually get a burger. The main reason I go is for the stiff-ass drinks when I'm dragged to Lahaina for shopping.
Bubba's bartenders are given very strict pour tests, and all of the drinks are made to a precise recipe. Don't mistake the tail end of the pour for generosity--it's an exact 1-1/4 oz. pour using a 3/4 oz. jigger. Bartenders who can't accurately pour 1/2oz, 3/4oz, 1oz, 1-1/4oz, 1-1/2oz, and 2oz don't get time behind the bar.
schammy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That hasn't been my experience... I've only been the one in Maui though. 3 times total I think, and every time I walk out with a huge buzz.
CF5300 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:48:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Something similar exists at a Brazilian Steakhouse near where I live, they give you little cards to flip to green or red depending on if you'd like to be served more meat and drink or not. Mines always on green though!
ColumW ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:54:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you need two flags? Why not just one to signal you need something?
There's an all you can eat Brazilian restaurant near me that does this. Its a small wood block that's half red half green. Red for privacy, green for service. Very clever.
KatzVlad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fogo De Chau or whatever
RaveCave ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:49:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever heard of Fogo De Chao? It basically has that, but instead of flags there's coasters. They walk around with meat on swords and stop at your table if you have it green side up, move along if you have red up. Plus the food is absolutely delicious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:22 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I really need to go back to Fogo De Chao. That place is awesome.
Cyrius ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:29:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because Pancho's Mexican Buffet sucked ass, so nobody thought to steal their flag idea.
I just did a bit of curious Googling to get the story on the ownership change and realized that you and I are talking about two completely different Pancho's restaurant chains. The one I'm talking about makes this, which I cannot recommend enough. If I had the money to spare I would have some sent to you just to share this wonderful experience with someone else.
Why the fuck did anybody downvote this. They've never been to Texas, I guess.
This stuff is certainly Tex-mex, and it's not pretending to be anything else. I suppose it's a matter of taste, but to me it's sort of like instant chicken soup in that it doesn't taste exactly like chicken, but it's still pretty good.
I've actually been to a place like that, sort of. A Brazilian steakhouse where if you had the red flag up they'd leave you alone but if you had the green flag up they'd bring an endless supply of meat. Mmmmmmmmmm
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:57:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Most korean restaurants have a doorbell/buzzer at the table to call a server. There is no off switch, but as with most asian restaurants, they won't bother you unless you call them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Also, Korean restaurants will just leave you a whole damn pitcher of water. That way they don't have to hover, and you don't have to bother them every time you want a refill of your tiny cup.
istara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:50:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I LOVE this idea!
I can't stand it when they hover round, or come back to ask you how things are when you've just taken a massive mouthful of food.
Waitpeople of Reddit: please confirm, do you deliberately wait until the food goes in the mouth so the person is unable to voice a complaint?
Waitpeople of Reddit: please confirm, do you deliberately wait until the food goes in the mouth so the person is unable to voice a complaint?
No, I pay no attention to whether anyone is chewing before approaching the table and asking if you need anything else. Most of the time it's just a "yep good", nod, or thumb up. If you give me that hand-over-mouth-other-hand-stop-sign signal that they want to say something, I wait there. I'd say this happens less often than once a day, and I probably make 50 such interruptions in a day, so it's very uncommon. It probably just seems like it happens very often because it is not at all memorable to be asked when you aren't chewing, or don't have anything to say.
Interrupting conversation is more common. About a third of the time I approach the table, you're talking actively enough that it'd be a bit rude to cut you off. So I do that awkward saunter, maybe pretend I'm checking if another table has enough Splenda packets, and give you a few extra seconds to finish that thought. If I'm real busy, it's not so bad to just swing by and go "all good here?"
I wish your thought trains and thoroughly chewed food the best of luck.
istara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:20:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! Based on what you say, I suspect it's more my own greed in diving right into my food and barely coming up for air to give them an opportunity to speak ;)
Thanks in return for not talking with an open mouth of food. Only one lady has ever spit food onto my apron while talking, but it happened.
PAY IN CREDIT TIP IN CASH :D
istara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:02:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
99.999% of the time I tip in cash. In the rare instances where it's card, it tends to be in a more upmarket place that couldn't get away with screwing waitpeople for tips as it would make the newspaper (I'm in Australia - there's minimum wage here, and people are pretty fierce on exploitation).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:56:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wow, so lazy he doesn't care if he gets rich or not from his own idea
nooath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
its not his own idea
Rpanich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:58:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a never ending Brazilian BBQ place near me, and there's a sorta salt shaker with a red side and green side. Green up, guys come around and offer more meat, red side, no one bothers you.
This should be everywhere.
AKtheCAT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:00:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bubba Gump does it
jay_niel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:03:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tucanos Brazilian Grill does something similar, just not flags. The have a cylinder with a red end and a green end. The servers are constantly walking around and can see if you need something or don't want to be bothered. Good stuff.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:24 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a grill once that had a wooden cylinder that was painted Green on one side, Red on the other.
Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.TM actually has this. There's a little sign on every table that can be flipped from "Run Forrest Run" (I don't need anything) to "Stop" (waiter, please stop at my table).
amyneko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Panchos mexian buffet...Mmmm sopapillas.
You only need one flag and it signals that you need help.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually common in some Asian restaurants (Many Korean restaurants I've been to and Japan's Saizeriyas come to mind) except you get a electronic bell that the waiter is supposed to immediately respond to unless the service there is just that poor.
bundabrg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or a button you press to summon someone. Like being on a plane. Or hospital. Or prison.
PASTLES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been to a restaurant in London where the booth you are sitting in has two different colours of lights in it so that you can switch to a certain colour if you need something. Should be done more often!
GavinZac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because in civilised countries the system is 'leave me the hell alone until I call you over without the need for objects to distance myself from a modicum of human interaction.'
There's a sushi place in the UK that does this (Yo Sushi). They leave you alone for the entire meal, unless you press the little button on your table, and a light comes on next to you and signals a waiter to come over. Works pretty well.
Don't even need two flags. Up means I want something, down means I'm OK. It's how Casa Bonita in Denver works. Rodizio Grill restaurants have an even better system; each table has this little wooden dowel, red and green on the ends, yellow in the middle, though it serves a slightly different purpose due to the way the restaurant serves its food. Green side up means "send in the meat parade," red side means "I've got enough meat for now, thanks." If you lay it on its side, your waiter will bring you your check.
Fogo de Chao does something similar. But instead of just red and green for service, it's stop and go for non-stop "best steak of your life" being constantly brought to your table. Best restaurant ever.
Zecriss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've thought the same thing. I see no downside for the wait staff either.
dweeb_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rodizio Grill is a brazillian(?) steakhouse where they're constantly bringing meat to your table. Each table has one of these little guys. If you want the meat to flow like milk and honey you leave it green side up. If you need a break from your meat feast you flip it red side up.
mtd14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least for ordering or paying the check, my friend has a good method. Balance it on his head (menu or receipt thing) until they come get it. You look like an idiot and I'm sure servers think its stupid, but its pretty damn funny from our end.
Perfect except that you have the flags backwards. Green is go ahead and come over and red is stop bothering me. I have actually been to a restaurant like that.
Good servers will give you what you need when you need it and will always be scanning for eye contact in case they missed something. Source: been serving for waaay too long.
bam2_89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A chain in TX called Pancho's Mexican Buffet has you raise a Mexican flag for more chips/sopapillas. I've been wanting to put an American one in its place and tell them to bring me bacon covered with ranch dressing.
Maybe if each table had a bell ... (Curb Your Enthusiasm reference)
mucsun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is a Brazilian BBQ that has something similar to this. Every person has a button, green on one side, red the other. If you want more meat, you turn your button to green. Then you turn it back to red to be not disturbed.
Of course this only works if there is lots of good service personal.
They do that at brazilian steakhouses, or at least the few that I've been to. Red means bring me more meat, green means I momentarily have enough meat. But it also works to request whatever else you'd require from a waiter, and as long as they're at the table they can top off your plate with stacks and stacks of various delicious meats.
There is a literal flag system at this restaurant called Pancho's here in Mesa, AZ. Idk if it's still around but when I went there, they had a little flag you raised to signal the waiter
Simply flip according to whether you want a polite Brazilian man to cut delicious chunks of grilled meat from a giant skewer onto your plate - or you want to be left in peace to savour each bite while you make that amazing-meat-face.
As a server I think this would be great. Sometimes I don't know if people are done or need anything. Some people will just stare at you, you head over to see if they need anything, and they don't. They're just fine.
4Alex4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Much like most Brazilian BBQ restaurants but they use a disc. If it's on the green side it means "bring me meat" and vise versa
i went to a brazillian steak house that would just keep carving off meat from different hunks of animal unless you put up the red sign signaling that you were good. if it were green, the waiters would just keep coming and carving.
Churrascaria's are like this, kind of. If it's green it means bring me more seared animal flesh. If it's red, I'm enjoying the tasty goodness of this seared animal flesh, leave me alone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A brazilian steakhouse I love where I live does exactly this!
Except with a little cube. If you want someone to stop at your table with more meat, you put a green side of the cube upwards on the table. Otherwise, keep a red side up!
There's a restaurant in CT/NY that does this (Bar Taco--they have a few locations, I think). It's great. I never realized how liberating it is to silently tell the waiter to stay away (or come over).
Why don't you bring your own flag system next time you go to a restaurant?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
All Brazilian steakhouses have exactly what you are describing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a restaurant where they did this. It was a Brazilian/Argentinian restuarant where you paid one price for as much food and as much variety as you could eat. There was a little block on the table, one end was red and one end was green. If you had the green end pointed up they kept bringing you food, if you had the red end up it meant slow down, I'm still eating. You could flip the block up and down as many times as you liked.
I'm going to start a competing restaurant across the street that only uses one flag. Red flag means you need something, no flag is akin to your green flag. We'll pass our flag savings on to the customer and drive you out of business.
waffles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is a chain of restaurants called "Bubba Gump's" that are found in tourist cities in the US. They have this type of system based on a scene from the movie Forrest Gump. If you don't need anything keep up the sign that says RUN but if you need something you switch it to the sign that says STOP.
prdax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is a Mexican all you can eat place where I live called Pancho's. They have little mexican flags on each table. When you need something just hoist that thing up its little flag pole and BAM, waitress out of nowhere. The food isn't very good, but it's the hangover destroyer. Especially since after your first trip through the line you don't have to get up anymore, they just bring you whatever. Best $8.99 a sad person can spend on a Sunday morning.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Genius. I hate being interrupted with "how's everything?" but then I get mad as hell when the server isn't there when I need something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I support. Airplanes have it, why not restaurants?
I didn't know the department of the treasury hires creative accountants
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:56:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 07:43:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this is for you.
fs337 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 08:13:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think Devito is for him?
Phatferd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
most likely someone who manages "creatives," which is often used in marketing and advertising agencies. These are the copywriters, art directors, graphic designers, animators, etc... This person is probably a Creative Director.
I browse reddit on my phone and use the "swype" keyboard. If you don't follow through that extra 1/16 of an inch with that last motion "you're" turns into "your". Then, "me" turns into "unemployable idiot". I'll leave it to help your "obvious karma whore" job. At least someone can benefit here.
I was referencing their username! Not throwing around insults. I was trying to make a friendly joke. I guess I'll just give up. Thanks for the compliment I guess haha
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:00:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm really good at managing my reddit account. Also I did this thing in this one thread where I spelled 'cats' from someone's acronym of reddit, so that's pretty creative and stuff.
Graphic Design major here. I've been working smart since I was 16 and I'm thinking of switching to business, given my strong graphics background. If you're still looking for someone, I could use the work.
I'm an experienced redditor and I have plenty of advertising (bullshitting on reddit) experience and account managerial experience (obsessively checking for karma). I think id be a perfect fit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
SugaRush ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:56:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The last job I had, when they asked me what was my most valuable trait. I told him I was lazy. I said, now hear me out. I dont like doing things twice. I get them done as fast as possible and right so that I can go sit back down and do nothing till the next thing comes up. It was for a onsite on call job. I got it, I spent the first 3 months doing nothing but playing DS and watching Netflix. Best job I ever had.
Sometimes when I interview people I ask them why I should choose them over the 1,000 other people who applied for the job and the 10 other people I have interviewed.
What I want them to say is "you'd be a moron not to hire me, I'm the best you'll ever get" but the usual answer is "I dunno"
If someone gave your reply I would at least remember it as being unique.
Honestly by the time I get a person in for their second interview the only thing I am trying to determine is if they will fit in with the team that has the vacancy, I already believe they can do the job.
I read this somewhere (probably reddit) and I think it's relevant. after a quick google search (again, found on reddit) I copied and pasted this. It amuses me and seems relevant:
A toothpaste factory had a problem: they sometimes shipped empty boxes, without the tube inside. This was due to the way the production line was set up, and people with experience in designing production lines will tell you how difficult it is to have everything happen with timings so precise that every single unit coming out of it is perfect 100% of the time. Small variations in the environment (which canโt be controlled in a cost-effective fashion) mean you must have quality assurance checks smartly distributed across the line so that customers all the way down the supermarket donโt get pissed off and buy someone elseโs product instead.
Understanding how important that was, the CEO of the toothpaste factory got the top people in the company together and they decided to start a new project, in which they would hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem, as their engineering department was already too stretched to take on any extra effort.
The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP, third-parties selected, and six months (and $8 million) later they had a fantastic solution โ on time, on budget, high quality and everyone in the project had a great time. They solved the problem by using some high-tech precision scales that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box weighing less than it should. The line would stop, and someone had to walk over and yank the defective box out of it, pressing another button when done.
A while later, the CEO decides to have a look at the ROI of the project: amazing results! No empty boxes ever shipped out of the factory after the scales were put in place. Very few customer complaints, and they were gaining market share. โThatโs some money well spent!โ โ he says, before looking closely at the other statistics in the report.
It turns out, the number of defects picked up by the scales was 0 after three weeks of production use. It shouldโve been picking up at least a dozen a day, so maybe there was something wrong with the report. He filed a bug against it, and after some investigation, the engineers come back saying the report was actually correct. The scales really weren'โt picking up any defects, because all boxes that got to that point in the conveyor belt were good.
Puzzled, the CEO travels down to the factory, and walks up to the part of the line where the precision scales were installed. A few feet before it, there was a $20 desk fan, blowing the empty boxes out of the belt and into a bin. โOh, that โ one of the guys put it there โcause he was tired of walking over every time the bell rangโ, says one of the workers.
I tell this story frequently, it's one of my all time favorites, true or not.
It is the antithesis of "because that's how we've always done it"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:40:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I firmly believe the wheel was invented because some dude was too lazy to walk
teetole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:20:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I restructure workflows all the time at my job to aid me in completing tasks more quickly. My co-workers think in being innovative, but I just want to have more reddit time.
CGNYYZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:07:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. I learned VBA programming mostly because I'm lazy
wtmh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ardbeg Corryvrecken is my favorite scotch. Can I have a job too? :D
rocen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm on my phone so no source, but there is a quote usually attributed to bill Gates that is in a similar vein to this. Something like "the lazy guy is better than the hardworker because he will figure out how to do the same job faster and with less effort"
This is so true of IT. You don't want to hire someone too hard working. They'll brute force too many problems by doing manual tasks.
Much better to have all the problems cleared up, automated, and the IT worker relaxing putting out the occasional fire rather than constantly looking busy doing things that should be done better.
Lazy programmers are the best programmers. Just make sure they comment their code.
That describes Software Engineers! We hate doing the same things again and again so we get machines to do the work for us...my boss says he will only higher people to work for him who want to be lazy enough
I remember seeing a Bill Gates quote somewhere basically saying if you've got a difficult job give it to a lazy person, they will always find an easy way to do it.
I kinda feel that applies to me a little as I usually go out of my way to make something go easier/faster which usually means you end up getting more work than if you dragged out the initial job, it's counterproductive laziness.
I would, but I don't feel like filling out an application.
Ruddiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit, you have just given me cause for my existence. I am a lazy fuck, but I get my work done, but I am sort of ashamed of how much I sit on the internet. thank you.
Nice. I reoriented my entire career to focus in "lean" and "business excellence" because I can't stand doing things that don't create value (except for redditing, apparently)
So long as he doesn't have to fill out an application.
kyonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny you say this, the reason I'm so good at my job is because of how lazy I am. I've always had the mentality of "you want me to do what? that's going to take too long f- that" and found a better way to do it faster.
As an apparently invisible patron of many establishments, this is going in the back pocket next to "let the air out of TWO tires on douche parking-jobbers"
[deleted] ยท 195 points ยท Posted at 06:59:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This question shouldn't even need to be asked, because no one should be letting air out of someone else's tires over a parking job. That is infinitely more douchey than parking terribly.
EDIT: Forgot one thing. Not only is no parking job douchey enough to merit letting the air out of their tires, but now you'd be insanely douchey for doing it because now they're stuck in that terrible parking job.
Presumably, parking in a handicapped spot is wrong because you are preventing actually handicapped people from using the spot. If you disable the illegally parked vehicle, than that means that the spot will be occupied longer than it otherwise would be...
I've seen cars get keyed for parking badly. Your choice. Park between the lines, get keyed, or get flat tires. It is your choice. Really. That is all there is to it.
Lowelll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:41 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh thats how you meant it, I thought you were implying you'd key bad parkers.
Still, keying a car is way worse than bad parking and petty vigilantism doesn't do anyone any good. People who are inconsiderate when they park are an inconvinience. People who damage very expensive property of others out of a stupid need for redemption, mostly ignorant of the circumstances, are just assholes.
Exactly. You can never be sure if they had to park like that because something was in their way. Could even be a handicap person. You don't know if a douche was even in that car and you could be faulting innocent passengers too.
HiddenA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When clearly they decided to park over two spaces right next to the cart return. Them being a bigger suv and the spaces being for compact cars they parked diagonally across the two.
But I also have had to be that guy who has had to squeeze into a parking space next to a dick because it was literally the last one. That guy left while I was working and I got a note from someone else who was upset :(.
I would never do anything to someone's car. A car cannot protect itself and it shows cowardice and spineless-ness... No matter how much you think the owner deserves it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ooooh, the double douche backfire.
Nice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Someone let a small amount of air out of my mom's tires, bent the license plate, and threw coffee at the car because we were parked too close to his car. We were in our space. He had parked first and was way over the line. ~Some people are assholes~
Wiggles7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actually that was me and I can explain, as I was walking by some jerk swerved by and almost hit me while I was carrying a lot of hot coffee (luckily no spill), I stumbled actually kicking the nozzle to the tire sending the cap off and some air out. Not wanting your mother to get uneven wear on any one of the tires I let the same amount of air out of each of the tires (a small amount really). As I was cleaning up I started to walk away but my phone goes off startling me, I drop the coffee all over her car and myself and as I am falling to the ground I grab at the plate and give it a good bend. Now normally I would have left a note but the coffee was burning me extremely badly and I had no choice but to run full speed to my car parked a block away, by the time I cleaned myself up and returned your mother had already left.
If it's some kind of car that most would consider "high end" and they're double or even triple parked then it's usually a sign that they parked douchey on purpose.
If you really want to fuck someones day up, get the little tool that unscrews the stem where you put air in the tire, when they go to fill it up it'll all just come right back out, they'll think the tires are shot and (most likely) take it to a shop. Then, they'll find out it was a $2 fix and they went through all that frustration for something that stupid. Edit: Here is one, available at auto zone and pocket sized.
I don't think you're getting it. If you loosen the valve stems the tires will develop a slow leak. They will either have to keep filling the tires, or they will leave their car alone for the weekend and have flat tires.
The first thing the guy at the tire place is going to do is spit on his thumb and put them over the valve stems. As soon as they bubble he's just going to change them all at about 3 bucks a piece and put new dust caps on them and say "Your valve stems was bad. That will be 8 dollars for parts and 50 dollars for the minimum hour of labor. I'll show you how to check them so you don't have to call us next time" and then they will feel like a moron. Loosening valve stems is the second best thing you can do to sabotage someone's car. The best is to put superglue in the driver's side lock. You can then watch a guy unlock the passenger door and hop over the hump every time because he won't pay to have the car looked at as long as one door still opens. If he apologizes later you can just pout acetone into the lock and it will work again
Yea i know, usually they leak noticeably over night though, that's when i'd do it. Or when they first get to work depending on how long the shift. And $50?! Where do you go that's that cheap, most places around me are $75/Hr. at the cheapest. And at my shop in school they have the stem core's by the hundreds, so we wouldn't charge, but knowing most shops they probably would. And yea that is another great trick, there are many that wouldn't really "fuck up" the car that could ruins someone's day, like taking their antenna for example.
Tire places usually charge less than proper mechanics. Also I send my car to Pep Boys because they charge by the job and not by the hour. I have a 1981 Cadi that seems to have at least 1 frozen bolt in anything that could possibly break because most of those 30 year old components are original. Also the guys at Pep Boys get paid the same whether they are telling butt jokes or working on my car so they don't have a lot of incentive to cheat me. Also I don't think taking someone's antenna would be the great prank it was 20 years ago unless they are really into talk radio or something
Just slice the air valve. That little nozzle/nipple thing where you pump the air in. A small cut is all it'll take, and the valve isn't patchable like a puncture might be. It forces them to get entirely new tires, all because of a few tiny cuts...
I did this, though it was because we waited a really long time for someone to take our order. People at the table were afraid to call, but I was like fuck it we been waiting forever. The conversation went something like:
"Hello, this is generic semi-nice restaurant."
"Yes, hi. I'm actually sitting in the restaurant right now, uh, we've been seated but nobody has come to take our order, we've been here for about half an hour, so I was just calling to see if we could get someone to come to our table."
"Oh sure, someone will be right with you."
"Thank you."
Worked like a charm.
EDIT: I got the idea because I had been watching as the servers were taking calls placing more and more orders ahead of ours, and I thought; "hey, those callers aren't even here, but getting their orders in before us, and they're TALKING TO THE PEOPLE STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO ME, I'm calling."
There is a mexican restaurant in my city and they have a little flag pole on the table so when you need your server you can just raise the flag on the pole.
Did something similar at work once - the phone at my register wasn't working and I needed to call for a manager, so I called the store on my cell phone. In hindsight, not sure how I didn't get in trouble for that.
Similarly, I called in my order for pick-up at a Qdoba because I didn't want to stand and wait in the long line. I held the table for my friends and waited less than 5 minutes for my meal to be ready and nearly finished eating by the time they had finished ordering.
He was making some flambe in front of a table. I literally pass by asking him if he needed anything extra, he said no. Seconds later I saw him fucking grabbing his phone calling the restaurant asking them to please bring him something he forgot. We were fucking packed and I was pissed because he just did the most pointless thing in the history of pointless things. He thought he was being smart but it was just the most stupid thing ever. He was the worst guy to ever work with either way, he hadn't even worked a week and acted like he owned the fucking place, just stood around telling us to get moving and his face is what really got to me the most it made my blood boil every time I saw it.
Gladly he isn't working with me anymore.
Spangel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called my wife from bed this Saturday. As in, she was up, I was still in bed at 1pm (waiting until I was reasonably sure my hangover was gone enough to warrant standing up). My wife is hard of hearing, so even though I could hear her, she couldn't hear me without me yelling out to her. So I called on my phone.
When I worked at a supermarket, sometimes it would get busy and the queues for the registers would get really long. We would occasionally get customers phoning the store from the queue they were waiting in to ask us to open more registers.
2 of the last 3 times I've gone to see a movie in a theater, there was some problem with the picture or audio. On both occasions I called the theater from my seat to have them look into it. The first time they had a hard time understanding what I was on about. They seemed in disbelief that I would call from within the theater.
I've done this too, when it took over 30 minutes for the waiter to return with the drinks. Then when he finally came and gave us the drinks, he said "I'll be right back", and didn't return. After another 30 minutes of waiting I asked someone else if we could just pay for the drinks because we were tired of waiting. Another 20 minutes passed without anyone returning, so we just got up and walked out of there, not paying. They called an hour later and told me I didn't pay for the drinks. I told them that the drinks were on the house because it's not acceptable that we first have to wait 30 minutes to get the drinks, then the waiter not returning for another 30 minutes to take the order.
There's a restaurant in my town where you order over a phone at every table. Me and my friends usually just ask for stupid shit like a single napkin or twenty spoons.
Epiqt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A man did this at my restaurant. A word of advice to non Hospitality workers; patience is rewarded, the more you make yourself known to a busy Bartender or Waitress the longer you will be waiting.
We know you are there.
we did this in class in highschool when a teacher would ignore us...
call the class phone.. "hi, we're at computer station 4, and you have failed to notice our hand in the air"
slyphox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once when the waiter for our large party was ignoring me.
I was meeting some friends at a sports bar and arrived a little late. Everyone already had food/drink but we were planning on staying for a bit so I wanted to order food for myself. The waiter came several times and despite practically shouting to get his attention, he just ignored me.
Finally, I called the restaurant from my cellphone which was answered by the bartender. I asked for what I wanted and noted if it could be delivered. He said they dont do delivery. I said look to your right and waved to him and the guy just kinda stares at me and starts laughing.
I later explained the situation to him and tipped him accordingly.
greym84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This has happened to me as a waiter. I was livid. It wasn't that the guy had waited too long, he was simply impatient.
psykiv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in Honduras. Third world by most definitions. In a shithole restaurant (I'm Hispanic so I thought the food was awesome). They had a waiter pager on the table with three buttons. Call, check, and cancel. The waitstaff would wear a wrist watch that alerted them. Only way to turn it off was by pressing the cancel button on the table. You want the check? Press the check button and they bring it to you.
One of the lazier and more impatient things I do is similar. The local brick oven pizza place gets packed right after bars close on the weekend. Lines out the door, 30 minute waits just to order. So when there's a line I'll pull out my cell phone while standing in line and place an order, and grin to everyone still standing in line on the way out.
Oh god. That's it. That's my lazy story right there... you just reminded me!
One time, my sister and I were going to the late night showing of a scary movie. We get into the theater room, and it's completely empty besides us. We're two.... girly-ish girls... and easily spooked, despite the fact that we've both got reasonably good heads on our shoulders LOL.
So anyway, we get in there, and my sister is sitting there browsing the internet on her phone. Eventually, the sign comes on the screen telling us to put our cell phones away. She was like "Fuck it, no one else is in here, I'm not going to." There was some background music on, but all of the sudden, the whole screen sort of froze up. It had been frozen for a good two minutes, before I picked up my phone, looked up the number for the theater, called them and told them what was going on. The conversation went something like this:
"Thank you for calling The Movie Theater, this is Movie Theater Worker Guy Speaking, how can I help you?"
"Yeah, I'm in cinema room 12, and the screen has been frozen for about 2 min-- no, make that about 2 minutes, thirty seconds now"
"You're. . . in the theater?"
"Yeah, and the movie isn't working, can you guys fix it?"
"Yeah, I'll let my manager know. . ."
"Cool, thanks."
It was both equal parts "Lazy" and "Too spooked to go out there by myself", why I didn't just go tell them about it... hahahaha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Done this a few times. They don't seem to like it though :)
I was listening to xfm in London earlier and the dj basically asked the listeners the same question as this thread and then passed off your story as his own. Quite lazy in itself, ironically.
"Please don't spit in my eggs, Please don't spit in my eggs"
"Hey, I just spit in that guy's eggs"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:48 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
tell me where did you find your guts
Akoustyk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:27:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did something somewhat along these lines. Was watching tv. Yelled for my sister to come downstairs by calling out her name. Once she got downstairs and came in the doorway for the room I was in, she was standing right next to the remote, so I asked her to pass it to me.
She didn't pass it to me, which was an expected result, but once I thought of the plan, it was too funny to me not to go through with it.
TL;DR called my sister downstairs so she could pass me the remote that was out of reach.
I was in a class called OJT (on-the-job training) in high-school. Everyday the last 25% of school was dedicated to me being able to leave class to go to "work". We were given grades by our employers which would then turn into grades for the class.
As a high-school senior I convinced the teacher that oversaw this program that because I had my own corporation that I used to sell stuff on ebay I should be able to be my own boss. She agreed.
I failed that class because I didn't bother to fill-out the paperwork to give myself a grade.
He copied the top response from a much older thread on the same subject. Which I read half an hour ago because I was searching for this thread because I'd seen it elsewhere but hadn't had the chance to read it.
Turns out I might still be on the slow side. What do you mean?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:09:31 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It seemed like you were responding to the original comment as if you had written it yourself - since the usernames were different I thought maybe you had two accounts. Now I see that it is more likely that you were just stating that you have done something similar.
The same thing happened in a chemistry class taught be a completely inept teacher who only wanted to coach hockey. I said I wanted an A and got it. My friend got a B. She was pissed at me for getting a better grade, but I told she deserved the B for being too dumb to ask for an A.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:28:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The hard part is done. The game is broken and solved. Why bother playing anymore?
My senior year, I convinced my mom and counselor to put me in the online 'catch up' courses that my high school offered instead of my regular classes because I didn't want to go to school everyday. Shit was so easy I could breeze through a semester in a few hours.
Didn't finish any of them before summer and had to go to summer school.
cC2Panda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fast forward to adult life and be like me. Haven't bothered to invoice multiple companies because I'm alright without the few thousand extra. I keep meaning to but invoices are so tedious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same here except I would have just forgotten.
MrArtless ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 09:24:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Similar thing here. When I was a Senior in high school, I was sentenced to 80 hours of community service for something a friend did. I was considered an accomplice. So I showed the paperwork to the front office staff in charge of attendance, and told them I would need to be excused from school at 11 am everyday until I finish this. So they put in an exception on me, which allowed me to sign myself out of the school every day at 11am. They just told me to let them know when I finished with it. I never did. I finished the hours in 3 weeks and the rest of the schoolyear checked myself out at 11.
Senior year I had 4 classes. I was done with school before 11:00 because I only had 2 per day. Fun times were had.
kingbot ยท 554 points ยท Posted at 06:56:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So wouldn't you be allowed to leave at that time? I mean you don't have any classes so where would you stay and how would they know if you weren't on campus
Not_Steve ยท 234 points ยท Posted at 07:11:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some schools make you stay for four hours so they can get the money for your attendance from the government. At my high school, they saw that I would always ditch but because I did homework I had good grades so they implemented a rule saying that after a number of absences, the student would automatically fail the class(es). Regardless of doctor's note.
That's silly. At my school if you were a junior or senior you were allowed to leave campus in between classes or when you were done with classes as long as you checked out and in. Pretty sure you had to be passing all your classes though. The Starbucks down the road made millions from this policy.
AtomicFez ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 09:26:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My highschool let you leave as soon as you had finished classes, didn't even need to sign in or out. And at 18 you could sign yourself out of classes whenever, if you fell below 80% attendance at the end of the year you didn't pass the class.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:37:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is what my school did minus failing students for attendance. I missed 140 classes my senior year and still got accepted into a very good University.
My school didn't have you check out either. If you didn't need any more credits, you could just ask for off-campus periods. Every other day I got off after my first class because I only needed 4 classes for my last year. They'd put a sticker on your ID saying you have off-campus on certain periods, and if a hall monitor saw you in the parking lot they'd ask to see it...but they only checked during like the first week of school.
I was in the class that made the school news program, so they gave us a 'press pass' for if we needed to film something during class or get into events for free. Mostly we used it to skip class and go to Burger King.
At my school the security guards waved to me while I drove off to get coffee.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. We were probably suppposed to check out with them but if we didn't have class we just left.
Was nice when IB exams ended in May and everyone else was still in school in June.
msimione ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At our school, if you didn't have class scheduled, you just left... I would aimlessly walk around the grocery store next to our school because I had no class between 4th and 7th period...
What weird fucking schools did you people go to? How the hell do you only have 3 hours of class a day?
juel1979 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you get too many/enough credits early on, so you only need the minimum your last year or two (mine was a history and English class). Junior year, I took up two periods being a teacher's aide to two different teachers. Senior year I had one aide class period the other half was taken up by vocational school, which was half a day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel bad for the students, only 24 classes over 4 years? How do you even get a proper education? There's no way they got to take classes like I did; sociology, mechanics, programming, law, drama, business, advanced chemistry, advanced biology were all elective classes I got to take during high school on top of the required math, English, science type courses.
I think at my school you needed 24 credits to graduate and you typically took 6 classes a year. Classes were divided between A and B days; each day had 3 2-hour classes. There was also 0 Period though, which was a class every day an hour before normal school started. I took a 0 period science class in Junior year, then a 0 period office assistant position in Senior year.
Since I had enough credits, I was able to only have one class (plus the 0 period) on my A days, getting off at around 11.
Makes one wonder, huh? Even up to my senior year I had 6 classes per day including dual enrollment at a local community college which counted towards my highschool English and Math.
I had 10 minutes to get from the college to the high school before I was counted late for my 3rd period class. Every three tardies counted as a detention, no exceptions.
Ha! That was my argument! It landed me in detention.
Lay_May ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:36:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see how that's even legal (assuming you had documented legitimate reasons).
I only needed a few classes my last year of high school. The dual enrollment college lost my transcript so they didn't accept me. The back up plan worked though: I am disabled and just had a doctor write something saying least stress possible.
Because of how they get paid, they wanted me to do 6 classes and one online
So I told them no, not only did I only need 2 credits but also my doctor says I shouldn't over work myself. So I was staying till first lunch and leaving.
Worked out well.
If you look closely, the Constitution doesn't consider minors eligible for many (if not all, I have researched every article) of it's promised freedoms. Free speech is one of the major ones, kids across the nation have gotten reprimanded for speaking unpopular opinions. Freedom of press, don't put anything controversial in your school newspaper. Some states/school districts even ban unauthorized student publications that are sold and/or given away at x amount of feet from the school. And I'm not talking about pornographic subjects either. Most are quite mundane. Students can be "pressured" into going to different schools, no political rallies, I've been denied the right to form a religious club when there were already two of other denominations. My Gay-Straight Alliance club was pushed around and clearly not approved of by school administrators (we had "special rules"). Schools a crossed the States are constantly breaking civil rights for "safety" (and I'm not talking about clear backpacks and metal detectors) and are using student's lack of knowledge about laws to get away with things. Which is ironic because isn't that what they're supposed to be teaching? We really need a school reform. The system currently in place has been outdated since the homesteaders. (P.S. Yeah, I was that kid and, try as I might, no other students were on board with me. I got a lot of detentions.)
Lay_May ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm kind of confused as to how this relates to what I said.
Even with a lack of personal freedoms at that age, between my parents and my doctors, I would think the school couldn't deny the laxed schedule.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, at my high school if you have more than 9 absences you have to take a competency test instead of the exam at the end of the semester. If you fail the comp test, you immediately fail the class, regardless of your grade. If you pass, they just average it into your grade, like an actual exam.
IshJecka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:16 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, plus if you missed 21 periods in the entire year, unexcused, you couldn't walk. There were 6 periods a day.
yessam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If was the same at my school. They finally started enforcing the rule during my senior year so I ended up dropping out.
We weren't allowed to leave until after one (school policy) but you still needed to have a valid reason like a job. And if you didn't, like myself, you spent your entire day walking around campus. There was a park near my school that we went to and would blaze up for a few so that was a plus.
Not sure about this guy, but nowadays high schools won't let you leave early even if you have no classes because they're responsible for students until release. If a student leaves early, and nobody but the school knows, it's their responsibility. If that same student gets in trouble, the school also gets in trouble. It's not a matter of the school not trusting the students; it's a matter of if the school allows a student to leave early and that student gets hurt through his own stupidity, the school is partially to blame because they let that student out early. They either let the student out under the care of a person they know as a contact (parent/guardian), or the student can't leave.
At least, that's how it was in my school district. Same reason why my high school didn't allow students to go off-campus for lunch. Didn't stop kids from sneaking out of school early through one of the back doors, of course. But it was rather ridiculous that you had to sneak out to begin with and couldn't just walk right out of the front door without getting into trouble.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:05:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At my school if you didn't have a class, and were a junior or senior with paid dues, you were allowed to leave. School wasn't responsible for you then, either.
Weird - my high school (graduated 2012) let you apply for early release and/or late arrival if you didn't have a full schedule in your senior year. You couldn't leave early if you didn't have it though.
My high school, which is still like this, had a "no fucks given" policy. If you didn't have class, they didn't care where you were. There were 7 periods and it wasn't untypical of a senior to only have 3 or 4 of those filled with an actual class. But then again over 50% of the student body graduated with 4.0s and our Ivy league admissions were off the charts for a small town.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:42 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I went to two different public high schools and the first HS I went to had the "no fucks given" policy because the students would rarely get into trouble. They were the ones who got perfect GPAs and went to Ivy schools. It was located in a pretty affluent neighborhood and the students took their education very seriously. I can't say the same for the second HS I attended. It was an opposite world there. I wasn't allowed to leave campus even if I had no classes, unless I was accompanied by a non-student adult. There were fences bordering the school property and it was nearly impossible to leave unless you went through a lot of hoops and obstacles. You always had to notify someone where you were headed and faculty members would go out of their way to try and catch you skipping class if they see you roaming the halls about. I'm not even going to get into the educational quality of the classes themselves. I'm gonna guess that about 1% of the students in this HS would overcome this horrendously confining school experience and get into a respectable university or be on that par in terms of career establishment and community involvement. But these students seemed to enjoy life a little more in general as a whole than the students at my 1st HS so you could say that for every con there's a pro and vice versa
My school let you do the same if you had an empty schedule so that you could fill the space with college classes. My sophomore year a bunch of the seniors stopped going to the college classes and the school started making you fill your schedule with electives. You could still apply to leave to take college classes but it had to be during an elective class and be okayed by the teacher. I also graduated in 2012
As many others have stated, many schools will hold the student and assign the remaining time as "independent study" or "ed. practice." Many seniors who have already been accepted to a 4yr university end up with a half-load final semester - especially if they are in advanced placement.
I don't think you've even been a high school senior yet if you think this. I never heard of any schools letting their Seniors leave super early after 2 classes unless they had something else.
For me, it was a super easy college course I had every Wednesday because it counted as a bunch of credits. I alternated gym class so I got to take 2 or 3 classes then head home by 11 or earlier every day, it was the best.
I am a high school senior right now, and you can absolutely leave when your classes are finished. As for the other part, I don't know how your classes and wednesdays worked, and I really don't give a shit whether or not this actually happened.
Relax I was just exploring the possibility. Don't take it personally, I have no clue who you are... And taking the time to post it took all of 5 seconds.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:45 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I only had 1 class at my school every other day. I left at 9:50.
fr4ust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know in some places, if you aren't 18 you can't sign yourself out of school. They basically just stick you in study hall or office aid until school's over because you're still their responsibility.
elembee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I had "spares" in high school I had to go to a room and "study". It was total BS, even if the spare was the last period of the day we still couldn't go home.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He would probably get study halls. Since he probably was a bit lazy and decided to take minimum requirements for senior year, the school wouldn't let him leave either. Majority of students were probably taking elective classes.
That's how It was for me
Vickshow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Where I was if you didn't have at least four classes they didn't allow you to be there as you were considered a "part time student". I went back for an extra year in high school because a course I needed for college wasn't offered in my final year, and it wasn't offered until the second semester. So for the first month or so I was taking a grade 12 guitar class and helping to teach the younger grades in another guitar class until they basically told me that I didn't have enough courses to be there and not to come back until the second semester because they didn't want any part time students.
IAMA_Mac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The way my HS worked was, the last class that could finish up early like that (My class, '08) without parental permission, they thru you in a study hall after 11:30 until dismissal at 3. You can bet the kids who didn't get parents permission were mad...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well people that have an Internet connection only have it because they mentally or physically consented to the terms that restrict liars from entering false information to websites like Reddit.com, so clearly there's a reasonable explanation behind all of this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can't speak for him, but I was in a similar situation. I only needed to take 3 classes, but the school forces you to take more to be there all day. I ended up doing work release to get out early but still was taking a full course load that I didn't need
At least at my school, seniors have 'senior commons' which is basically 'do-nothing' for free periods. They're only allowed to leave early or come in late if they have SC fort or last period. We have to be here for x amount of time for it to count as a full day of school
Law in California (at least) says the district is in charge of the kid from when he steps on campus in the morning to 3:00. So the school wouldn't let him leave. My school had cameras and they could close the parking lots (so your car was locked in).
At my school, if you were done with classes, you had to stay in the library or choose a "fun" class.
Bunnyhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I only needed English my senior year of highschool to graduate, but they required me to be there for 4 total classes either way. So I had English my first class and then 3 classes of PE that I ditched everyday.
Study hall, motherfucker. (I had to balance out a really boring word with one which is very exciting. I apologize for accusing you of fornicating with your mother.)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:32:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the same position but didn't leave at 11. They gave me extra classes like team sports, cooking, etc... Was fun classes tho
Your sense of entitlement won't help you in the future. Fact of the matter is that your schooling was already paid for (assuming public school) and you lost out on some potential benefits.
You've got some nerve. You want to talk to me about entitlement? I bet you've never had a problem in your life. I bet you never had the power turned off and had to do homework by candle light. I bet you didn't have to wake up at 4:00 in the morning just to make it to school by 7:30 because there was no school bus route from your neighborhood and your grandmother was too old to drive you. I bet you never even had to endure the pain knowing daily that you could come home and see the only person who cares for you could be hours dead and there would be nothing you could do. That's what I had to go through in high school. You made the mistake of thinking I was some entitled little asshole like yourself but no I didn't have that luxury then and I sure don't have it now as an adult. All I've achieved so far has been because of my doing, my strength to persevere and I'll be damned if i'm gonna let a prick like you tell me I wasted my education.
The problem is you're focusing on the things in life that don't really matter. When I was a kid I had hopes and dreams. We all did. But over time, the daily grind gets in the way and you miss the things that really matter, even though they are right in front of you, staring you in the face. I think the next time you should ask yourself "Am I on the right track here?". I don't mean to be rude but people like you I really pity. So maybe you could use the few brain cells you have and take advantage of the knowledge I have given you now. Good luck.
Dr_Drunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:40:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I also had 4 classes my senior year. My school had alternating days. There would be A days and B days. One week the A days would be Monday Wednesday Friday and B days would be Tuesday and Thursday. The next week it would swap. The only class that I needed to graduate was senior English and then 2 elective credits. I went above and beyond. I took English and then yearbook with two photography TAs. I scheduled them all on A days. I had school either two or three days a week. When I did have school I started with English and then left to work on year boook. Most days I would just leave until I had assignment and could fuck off most weeks as long as I got my pages done for year book. Best part was I had the dance section as the bulk of my pages. I would go to a dance hammered and take probably 20 minutes of pictures and then leave. My last year of high school consisted of about 4 hours of work a week.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a breakdown in my senior year of high school and was able to get my schedule changed so I only had 2 classes (Senior's History and Senior's English).
I(not American) had something like 38 45 minute classes a week.
Dasbaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same issue, only I had Emergency Service privlages for being a Fire/EMS officer for my fire company. I would show up around 8ish, wander into a class, make the beeper go off, and I would leave. This would be repeated at least twice per week, and noone cared.
Toward the end of the year, I just didn't show up. I took the tests (I took the easist classes including 2 home economic classes) passed them, and never had to really work.
Much lazy, much fun, such awesome.
Megkal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know for my school even if you didn't have any classes after 11(they then scheduled you 'study halls' sometimes back to back) you still had to stay til school got out at 2:30 so that may be what he means.
Excused absences after 11am every day? No, never have to go to class ever.
quedfoot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:17:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Quite often seniors only need a few credits to graduate in their final year. For myself, I had every credit except for my final English/literature point, I could have opted out and worked after going to school for an hour (but I never did). I'm assuming that /u/chupa_mis_huevos (great name) 's school just applied that plan to him.
:S I think, I'm probably confused and wrong though. I need sleep, bye.
My high school (which also had the OJT program) had longer class hours so we only had 4 classes a day. Instead of semesters, we would have quarters. [5]
I did, but the classes I needed to graduate were in the morning. I missed architecture, english lit., and Team sports(most people just walked around the gym and talked to their buddies)
At least you did your hours. I got 12 hours an at the end the charge would be removed from my record. Didn't do it. Didn't go to court to explain why. Warrant and charges on my record. God damnit I hate myself.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should feel bad, I got 40 hours of community service for 3 felonies
Due to chonic UC during high school I basically had a note from the Dr. stating I could be excused from the school at anytime because I had so many flare ups. I would leave about 11 as well and I would get different friends to "drive me home" and they were basically excused for the day. I got so popular around 14. Last three classes were lunch, choir, and band. I think I missed an average of about 200 days a year. I figured if you got a problem you should at least use it.
I never rocked up to my first phys ed class, so the teacher evidently thought it was a clerical error that put me on the class list, seeing as I never went to any subsequent ones are either.
Aikidi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That ending had me in stitches.
neon93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great story I have to admit
moshe1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:00:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i did something similar. We called it "job site" at my highschool. My older brother works at a company thats a block down from my house. (a 2 minute drive) The company is armenian owned, and i'm also armenian, so its a connection. (armenian community is very connected) Anyway, i was able to "job site" at my brothers place... which basically meant i got 3 hours of freetime, twice a week. I took naps... played league.. etc.
Euphya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:58:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I failed gym class in my freshman year of college because I was too lazy to take the 20 seconds to go online and drop the class.
I don't think I'll keep this up too long. I was really just curious how much karma would could get from taking advantage of repetitiveness on /r/askreddit and if anyone would notice the copying. So far, my conclusion is that most people will not notice that I'm copying even when I very strongly hint at what I'm doing... although things did get awkward when I was noticed by the individual who actually wrote something I reposted.
When the karma-shit hit the fan about a year ago, people found out that a bunch of the top users (/u/trapped_in_reddit specifically) were doing just that, albeit, not quite so obviously.
Fenrirr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did the exact same thing for Work Experience, though I guess I was actually working as a writer so it counts. Glad I didn't have to do volunteer hours to since I occasionally (very, very) instructed a class for warming up exercises over the last 6 years.
suoarski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The unemployment rate is so high, because it's too much paperwork to hire someone.
My dad owns his own company, so I got OJT and told the teacher I worked for him. I would fill out all the employee evaluation and hour sheets an just have my dad sign them.
Corporation is a strong word, I thought she would have seen the wool around her eyes as soon as you mentioned it!
lusiada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
im in this precise moment in that type of class, taking "history of industry"(yay!) and look at what i am doing, reddit.. btw from 1 to 20 my average it's 16.
crisk21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a class similar to that my freshman year. My mom let me tell the teacher I was working for one of her employees but in reality I just stayed home. It was glorious. My mom is awesome.
Is it possible that you recognized the shady nature of the arrangement and, as nice as it was for you, you felt uneasy about filling out the paperwork to finalize it? I know that I often times encounter bouts of "laziness" but ultimately there's a psychological block causing it.
I was in a class called OJT (on-the-job training) in high-school
We had a similar class called "OWA", which supposedly stood for "Occupational Work Adjustment". Seeing as how those kids never did anything but screw off all day, everyone said it meant "Out Walkin' Around".
This and the kitty litter guy. You guys win. oh, wait...
I used to piss my bed alot when i was young. It happened so often that if i woke up in time to use the bathroom i would just piss in the bed and go back to sleep in my own urine. I figured why bother getting it right once or twice a week.
i did the same thing except I convinced my teacher i made enough money from streaming and helping my grandparents that i didnt need a job. Best year of my life, go home after 3 hours of school 7-11 and play games till 2am or go to hockey; repeat every day.
AJam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
and you've been self-employed ever since, right? ...right?
npav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually did something similar, but had another student work as my "secretary" and do all the paperwork.
MRX009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You dumb motherfucker.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This made me so mad because it sounds like something I would do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually very common. The high school I went to had the same program called paid-learning. You were allowed to take time off school if you had a job but you had to fill out a form every week. Before I even started I was informed by the instructor that hardly anyone ever passes the class for this exact reason, I was no exception.
Not a lazy story, but somewhat relatable, I think. I was a junior class officer in high school and we had a whole class period dedicated to planning events throughout the year, but most importantly prom. The faculty that was over us despised us guys, never listening to our ideas and was just plain rude while being extra special to the girls. We would just take the keys to the computer lab that she had and proceeded to play roms, worms and quake all year (while getting a grade), while the girls planned for prom. The teacher didn't mind it because it got us out of her hair. The end of the year prom came around and we had to set up the day before and day of. Us guys, once again, just ran around and goofed off all day. One of the girls, though, told our teacher how she wasn't able to make it Saturday because she had already signed up for the SAT. The teacher got mad and said if she didn't come she would give her a C for the class. Of course, the girl took her SAT and got a C in the class the last grading period. I made all A's in that class playing computer games. I enjoyed being a junior class officer.
You're not alone. We had a class called Career Passport every senior had to take. It was quite easy and most people received high A's. One kid however needed to pass this class to graduate. On the final project, he didn't put his name on his paper and the teacher took off 5 points for that. Apparently this brought his grade down below a 59.5%, failing him from the class and to this day he has not gotten his GED 8 years later.
db8508 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yoyododo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am sadly doing the exact same thing right now. I do 1.5 hours of work experience every school day and have yet to fill out any of the paperwork. Fuck me.
Ours was called "Work Release." You just had to get paperwork signed off by your employer. The place I worked at agreed but said that I didn't need to come in to work unless needed since there was a schedule and all. I would leave school go golf, play video games, or take a nap. My senior year was the laziest thing I have ever done. Think I had like 4 art classes and 4 gym classes that year too.
DokomoS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, your employee (you) failed to remember to do the paperwork, so he wasn't a great employee at all.
WatNxt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did something similar. An exam was in two parts and I already got my result for the 1st one, so I knew exactly how much I needed to pass. I was so tired after a long exam session and wanted to get it over with. The day of the second exam in steel design, I answered just the right amount of questions to get the points and walked out way earlier than everyone. I actually got them right, but got the average wrong. I actually needed one more point. Failed.
shane727 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad people like you exist it makes me feel better about myself. I would've done this too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the zombie eating a bagel above was lazy, but you are the laziest guy ever. (Or girl)
I took this course this as well. We were required to attain a certain number of work hours in order to pass the course. This was verified by our pay stubs. I worked my ass off the first few months of school, then quit that job and took one working 3 to 4 hours a day only on the weekends. Left school everyday around 11:30 after taking my required classes. Mostly went home and watched tv/slept.
Hiyasc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:14 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This comment was funny to read, but hysterical to think about.
I graduated 6 months early and "hired" a classmate as a "community admin" for the forums I ran. Never did anything but he filled out the paperwork and passed his OJT class. Of course I could've found work for him if we really needed to but we enjoyed gaming the education system line that. :p
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:37 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate in college went home for a three day weekend, and I stayed in bed the entire time. I got up twice to pee, and brought four bags of sour cream & onion potato chips to bed with me. She walked in on Monday at 9pm, laughed so hard she cried, and forced me to get in the shower.
coahman ยท 1911 points ยท Posted at 04:57:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You peed twice in three days? That sounds really unhealthy
[deleted] ยท 1612 points ยท Posted at 05:24:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KittyGuts ยท 2264 points ยท Posted at 05:56:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good think she is a girl so she doesn't have to poop.
I've not pooped in three days and beyond. Troubled pooper. :(
KittyGuts ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 06:29:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Go eat chipotle. You're welcome.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:33:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Chipotle has a lot of fiber. It always has the opposite effect on me.
Aikidi ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 07:35:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not how fiber is supposed to work.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:47:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fiber is suppose to strengthen poop and make digestion much easier. I said that chipotle actually fixes any upset stomach that I might feel instead of giving me diarrhea or something. It is carbs you want to avoid when dealing with diarrhea.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:53:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is completely backwards. I have ibs so I'm used to dealing with diarrhea. You need plain carbs, - white bread, white rice, and bananas. Don't touch insoluble fiber like beans for a few days.
Muffinut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:04:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What? Since when are carbs better than fiber for not having liquid butt, and why have I not heard this before?
Fiber is good for keeping you regular. Too much fiber and not enough water will make you constipated. If you have diarrhea for whatever reason, you stick to plain foods like the BRAT diet, no fiber or beans as they will irritate your gut further.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:34:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You need soluble fiber which is found in carbs like white bread, white rice, bananas and potatoes. Insoluble fiber, like beans, bran and vegetable skins will make it worse.
The usual mantra is the BRAT diet: bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast.
ohmygod_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
liquid butt
teeheee
Muffinut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:11:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mean unhealthy behavior or the indication of a problem? It is unhealthy to do, but it'd be reasonably normal if you weren't taking in any liquids.
coahman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:08:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're right, I definitely meant an indication of a problem. Taking in such little amounts of liquids would be hard on your body it seems, even without much physical activity.
Sour cream and onion chips don't contain a lot of liquid so the need to pee is diminished. Also, laziness allows you to hold it better than you could imagine.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:16:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's will power and dedication son!
PattF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I was thinking, sounds like a UTI in the making.
ico2ico2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been telling everyone for years: CHAMBERPOTS ARE THE SHIT! Or if you're a student you can just use a coke bottle (or coke bottle + shewee if you're a girl, or two coke bottles and a pair of scissors if you're too lazy to go and buy a shewee)
A couple of months ago, I took an eleven-and-a-half hour flight. The Japanese girl seated next to me didn't pee once for the entire duration of the flight. (I peed about a dozen times.)
Lobsert ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The guy stays in bed for three days sustains themselves in sour cream chips and you think him not peeing enough is a problem...
[deleted] ยท 543 points ยท Posted at 06:26:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is making me feel a little better about my life choices
Rangi42 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:04:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair sour cream and onion are fucking awesome! I hope you got lays!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:54:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, I would have half gallon iced tea bottles that I would use to pee in so I didn't have to get up. I think I also used them when playing CounterStrike.
when I was in college I ordered pizza for delivery because I wanted cigarettes and asked if there was a driver there that would pick me up some cigs for an extra $10 on top of his normal tip. we had a circle k next door to my apartment complex I could see from my window. the cigs cost me $33.
This reminded me of a time when I ordered a cab to get cigarettes. It had just snowed and I hadn't shoveled the snow off my car yet. There's this gas station about 3 blocks away but I was too lazy and cold to walk. So I ordered a cab to drive me to the gas station and wait and then bring me home. He looked at me like I was nuts.
[deleted] ยท 280 points ยท Posted at 07:04:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a cab office, late at night we often get people ringing up to ask if the driver can just pick them up a pack and deliver them to them.
[deleted] ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 08:04:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you?
[deleted] ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 08:06:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. We're not a delivery service. We do however pick people up, take them to the shop for the cigarettes, then bring them back.
you're missing on a great business opportunity I'm sure. Many peoples got rich over the laziness of some people.
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 10:01:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mm, to be honest if I were a driver I wouldn't mind doing it, but there are too many logistics involved, like ID'ing the people who want the smokes, do you charge extra for the pickup rather than just the price of the journey, etc.
Easy. Charge twice your regular metered rate from the store to the house, tack on the cost of the item(s) and swipe for ID! If they don't have ID you still charge them full price for wasting your goddamned time and then kick them down the stairs.
I almost called a cab the other day because my car wouldn't start and there was no one around to offer me a jump. Have you ever gotten that request/would you send someone?
Nope. We're not interested in monetizing our fleet of vehicles that hae strict age limits on them at times of day when they are not in peak use. Let me write this in a way that you can actually hear how snippy my voice is. We do however pick people up, take them to the shop for the cigarettes, then bring them back.
Idiot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:03 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You realise I don't run the company, right? I answer the phone for a living. I couldn't give a shit about what the drivers choose to do for money or not.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:52:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only time I rang a cab company for cigs the controller thought I was joking at first, but they did it when I convinced him I was serious (I was surprised at the time that they didn't get requests like that all the time)
Xiao44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We NEED an answer!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:51 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Also, alcohol delivery has crossed my mind as a business opportunity, especially helpful if you've already has a couple of drinks and you shouldn't be driving to get more!
The cab company I used would just charge a 4 dollar delivery fee. I would call at 5am to get smokes and more beer. We'd tip the driver extra so he would come by faster next time. I believe he was tipped in cocaine a few nights as well.
Moving to a vacation town was too much fun for a while.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:38:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Blah blah you cant have different opinions than me bullshit. More bullshit
It's ok. Although I was in tears when I first watched Kyle's "whiskey icarus" special. But you can't force funny on someone. Maybe you'd like his other jokes in that special.
Liefx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Where I live you can call a cab to pick anything up, cigs, McDonalds, etc, and they start the meter after they get the goods.
pluid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One night when i was out drinking, I took a cab from one side of the road to the other. it cost me $11...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not really that lazy, but once I was drinking at my friend's "summer house" that was next to their actual house. It didn't have a toilet so we had to go to their house to do our business. When it was 3AM I needed to poop so bad but I didn't dare to go inside their house because my friend's parents were sleeping and I was so drunk I would definitely make a noise. So I decided to take a cab home, tell the driver to wait for me, take a dump and then go back to my friends place. The driver had to wait me for 30 minutes and he was sure that I wasn't coming back. That dump cost me almost 50 euros.
_vOv_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
hahaha dem peasants!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:16:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair he probably spent more in gas money getting to your house than he made in cab fare driving you. I hope you gave him a decent tip.
Well if you're going there...no it wouldn't save money because saving money means accumulating it. By ending your life early, it would save no more money than if one merely bought cigs and didn't smoke.
a. To avoid spending (money) so as to keep or accumulate it.
b. To avoid spending (money or time) in an amount less than what circumstances normally require
According to dictionary.com. Both definitions work, just depends on whether you value your life or money more.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What about all the chemo?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an American who does not smoke. I don't actually know the price of cigarettes here, I think they're actually around 6 dollars. I was just being a smartass.
I always like to compare cigarette costs. Where I live in California its around 5-8 dollars a pack but I always read that other places they can be outrageously overpriced due to taxes.
i know of a dude that missed his last bus home, but the pizza place was still open. so he ordered a delivery by phone, walked in and asked for a ride.. since a car would drive to his place anyways he was able to get home with a warm pizza. for half the price a cab would have been, but with a fresh and warm pizza.
I always order from this sandwich place that's literally right down the street. I always do delivery because God forbid I gotta drive there and pick it up.
I was house sitting for my parents, all my friends lived at least 45 minutes away and I didn't want to meet their neighbors. I had cables and tipped $10 extra.
Also when I ordered I had them warn the driver I'd need a jump, I had cables, and there was extra money in it. Because I didn't want to walk next door a few hundred feet.
wanted a sandwich but was outside the delivery zone so I called a pizza shop half way between and ordered a pizza, then had the sandwich shop deliver it to the pizza place. Was like a $25 sandwich all up, and I had my own car in the driveway the whole time.
$33 so you got them cheaper than usual, by reading it I kinda think I read it as a bad thing at $33 for a pack
trex707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My brother does this every time. He usually makes them get beer. He tips them really well though. Once he did this and also pulled the girls number taking his order over the phone.
He got a phone number from what turned out to be a cute girl, got a 12 pack of IPA, and a Wombo Combo from Round Table for like $50 and an 1/8 of weed lol
Reminds me of a beer commercial where some drunk dudes ordered to have a pizza delivered to their house then asked for a ride to their house from the pizza dude.
When i was in school there was a pizza place that actually sold cigarettes at a premium for delivery (pretty much a 100% markup) and you had to order food with them, it was a 4 minute walk from the front door of the dorm.
It was completely common for people on my floor to yell down the hallway that they were ordering from the pizza place. People would then flock to the that room and give their order for cigarettes. You would then place the order....
"yeah uh, i need 1 small calzone, 27 packs of Marlborough lights and 12 packs of Parliments"
"Quick question do you guys accept redeemable cans for payment?"
"No. ok hold on a second"
"Ok then, i need 1 small calzone, 25 packs of Marlborough Lights and 10 packs of Parliments."
"30-45 minutes" - groans from ten people followed by "45 minutes?, fuck i should have just walked over."
savekat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my friend. We had a train station about 15 minutes from our college but you had to walk through the center of town to get there. My friend was taking the train back to school one night and was too tired to walk home so she walked to the pizza shop instead. She ordered a pizza for delivery to her dorm and hitched a ride with the delivery guy.
Reminds me of a time I was at a pizza place and needed a ride to my hotel. I was highly considering (though ultimately didn't follow through) talking to the cashier, ordering delivery to my destination and offering the delivery guy a nice tip if he took me there.
I'm willing to bet there are rules against this though. Does anyone know?
I ordered pizza delivery one night when I was drunk at a pizza restaurant. When the driver went to leave with my pizza I informed him there would be nobody at the house to pay unless he gave me a ride.
I also watched someone do this in college. It took a good 5 minutes of deliberating with the driver but he got his cigs.
MAtoDC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A buddy of mine didn't want to walk home or pay for an expensive cab, so he ordered a pizza for delivery inside the Dominoes so he could get a ride home.
My brother worked at a pizza place and we were meant to pick him up at like 11pm but we were all too lazy to - so we ordered a pizza and got the driver to deliver my bro home too.
In my neighborhood, we have a liquor store that has an Italian restaurant attached. If you order food, they will deliver anything else they sell in the store. So last week we ordered a pizza because we ran out of beer. It's pretty sweet!
Make sure you enable pop up blocker though, the constant interruptions can get extremely irritating. Similar problems have been found with the mother app.
pikls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, not compatible with my OS.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just browsed the app store looking for a girlfriend app, it's kind of sad how many there are.
_vOv_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Download to where?? The smartphone is out of reach.
[deleted] ยท 469 points ยท Posted at 05:32:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't be bothered replacing the batteries in my wireless mouse, so I downloaded a mouse app for my phone. That was two months ago. I still haven't changed those batteries.
glooozo ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:39:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thankyou for alerting me if this glorious app! Never again shall i use a mouse!
Some Smart TV manufacturers have android/iphone apps for controlling their TVs. I know Panasonic has one, and I'm sure some of the other major brands do too
I have media remote on my phone to control the blu ray player and remote mouse to control the computer that is hooked up to my TV and plays Netflix and all the movies, TV shows and songs I have on my server.
I cant be bothered to get up and walk 10 feet to do that shit!!
I definitely just went and downloaded a remote control app. I'm no where near a tv.
dDRAGONz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am so used to reading defiantly as definetly on here that when I read your correct definetly I read it as defiantly and almost cheered you on.
CJ_Guns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Certain "Smart" TVs can use something proprietary, but also some cable providers offer their own application (like Cablevision's Optimum) without any need for something special.
I actually use it a lot, it's quicker to manipulate the guide and stuff, also I can stream the live TV on my device if I'm too lazy to go to the living room. It also lets you set your DVR from anywhere, which has saved me in a forgetful pinch more than once.
I think a few other providers have similar offerings.
Najd7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:45:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a Sony Xperia ZL and it has a remote control app preinstalled in it. It's awesome.
Kalesche ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:10:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Apple TV can be controlled via wifi and an iPhone. This probably works on other systems too.
Condense ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Someone please respond!!!
adamsak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He or she could be referring to the iOS "Remote" app that can be used to control the Apple TV box (For iTunes and Netflix).
I believe some phones can emit infrared. So get the right code for your tv and it will work. Unless he was talking about Apple's remote app for apple tv and Apple devices connected to your network.
I have Optimum cable who has an app that includes the TV guide, allows me to program my DVR, and can be used as a remote for any cable box in the house. Pretty rad and for a long time had a better interface than the TV guide through the regular remote.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
With the more modern smart TVA you can download a remote app as they (the tv) are usually connected to wifi. I know my lg has one and it works decently.
You really owe it to yourself to spend some time looking at what all is out there if this is a discovery for you. I had a remote control app for my PocketPC back in the 1990s. I'm pretty sure I had one on my Palm Pilot, too.
mouka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I came in this thread to post this exact thing, was pleasantly surprised to see it near the front already.
My remote was on the other end of the coffee table and I couldn't reach it with my hands or feet. So what do I do? Get my lazy self up? No sir, there's an app for that.
I didn't do the app but called my 11 year old daughter upstairs and had her hand the remote to me. I let her have extra dessert that night though because I felt bad.
Suvega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can you please head over to /r/gaming and repeat this? People wonder why we created SmartGlass...
THcB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is why I like my Samsung tv. Can't reach remote? Just start yelling at the tv until it turns up the volume.
XMED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just did this last week. My remote was under my bed so...
Computer was on the coffee table so I downloaded the vlc remote app so I wouldn't have to lean forward.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Roku?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My Google tv box started crashing and needed a reboot. I spent 30 minutes researching how to reboot it via the remote rather than going across the room.
Typical geek. But once you figured it out, you never had to get up again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:47 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately I never did find a way to do it. The Logitech Revue makes it easy (control-alt-delete on they keyboard) but the Vizio Co-Star does not appear to provide a method.
Apparently it's possible to hook up the revue keyboard to the co-pilot, but you need a special USB adapter for it, and I'm not sure if it would have honored the control-alt-delete at all.
At the end of the day I ditched the Google TV box and got a Roku 3. It's a bit less powerful, but it works far better than any of the Google TV devices I've seen.
Sometimes I'll be laying down with the remote out of reach on the coffee table and I'll just grab the table and drag it towards me to put the remote closer to view. Too much effort. I'll have to download an app.
My grandmother, who is completely capable of being mobile and active, called my brother from across the house to grab her the remote that was literally eleven inches from her reach. When I asked why she did that, she replied "that child is lazy, he needs to move more." I don't even...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Before I had a smart phone I watched infomercials (The same one, but repeatedly. I think it was magic bullet) after the cartoons finished because I couldn't reach the remote.
Link_95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:11 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
This one time I was minding my own business in my bedroom when I hear my dad call me from the living room. I go to the living room to see what he wants and he told me to pick up the remote and give it to him so he could change the channel. It was like 2 feet away from his seat. I just stared at him in awe at how ridiculous he was being. I eventually picked it up and threw it at him.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is how it is with one of my friends. He always wants us to go over to his house but it is far away and a pain to get to so we don't feel like it. Also, he doesn't live in the safest district so that isn't exactly going to help my laziness. I live in a nicer district where we have parks and shit to go hang out in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
thats why they we have reddit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think your username is because you're too lazy to get TO the choppa.... You just thought you'd point it out in case someone else wanted to get it for you.
On a similar note I once repurposed a sock as well. Back story is that I was in college living in a house with a few friends. We would run out of vital shit and everyone was too lazy to replace it. One day I was taking a pretty violent shit. I finish up and surprise no toilet paper.
But fortunately I was wearing socks that day. I peeled one off, cleaned my rim and buried it at the bottom of the trash. Still didn't buy TP, but instead opted to shit exclusively on campus for the next week or so.
Tulki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I love living alone. No one will ever know the foul bachelor frog acts I've committed
Endulos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:07:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once used my sock as a kleenex
I had a cold, the sickest I had ever felt and was so fucking tired. I was laying in bed with a box of kleenex beside me, when suddenly the box fell off my bed, bounced and landed like 2 inches out of reach. I didn't feel like exerting myself, so I pulled my sock off and used it to blow my nose.
I'm more upset by the reactions you're getting to this, because I know I've done this. I didn't actually take off the sock, though. Too much work. I just lifted up my leg to my face. This was years ago. Probably.
Then beat off n use the sock to clean up your mess. Didnt feel like moving your arm to throw it on the floor so left it on my stomach. Woke up and it was glued to ur chest hairs. Didnt wanna get up to get a washcloth so u spit on your stomach till u could loosen it and rubbed the leftovers back into my stomach.
[deleted] ยท 2106 points ยท Posted at 07:05:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy who accidentally went on a raw vegan diet because he just couldn't be bothered cooking. Just spent half the year munching on carrots and apples like a spoilt pony.
[deleted] ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 09:17:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I've started doing. Fruit is so convenient and varied. Banana's and apples are where it's at for actually feeling full afterwards.
[deleted] ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 10:21:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But who was protein?
[deleted] ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 10:28:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cow meat fruit. Delicious, bloody steak fruit.
mucsun ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 11:06:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Let a few fruits rot, and eat the flies that will come eventually.
lou22 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 12:15:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use flies to capture lizards for more protein
RaginBuu ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 13:06:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use lizard to capture hawk for more protein
Faxon ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 13:21:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use hawk to hunt small game and breed more hawks for lifetime supply of protein
eeeebbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is turning into Dracula...
Throtex ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 13:06:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use hawk to pick up chicks.
aphir ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:29:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Proceed to eat said chicks for added protein.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:23 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Find Jolly Ranchers in chicks for more protein.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 15:28:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, eat their pussys
Scrial ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:29:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:32:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
atsu333 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 13:05:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously they're nuts! But where did the protein come from?!
Seboy666 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:26:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
brocoli I guess
Dfry ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:27:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what almonds and cashews are for!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:26:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My go to lazy food is raw broccoli and hummus. It's like my chips and dip. Hummus is pretty chocked full of protein. I've gone weeks of being too lazy to cook and that is literally all I will eat all day, everyday.
[deleted] ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 12:57:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Like a spoilt pony made me crack up
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:05:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I go vegetarian every summer because salads are so easy to make.
I read this and could only hear it coming from Kramer. "You know my friend, Bob Sacamano? Well he accidentally went on a raw vegan diet because he just couldn't be bothered cooking. Just spent half the year munching on carrots and apples like a spoilt pony."
My bed is downstairs, the kitchen upstairs. My roommates are home so I'll have to put clothes on. Meh...I'll eat tomorrow.
EDIT: you guys are oddly obsessed with the layout of my house and whether I live with my parents or not. Okay, so I do NOT live with my parents. My roommates are a male and a female couple that I've been friends with for years. Housing is pretty cheap in my area but there is a city law that only 3 unrelated people can live together. We live in a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom house. On the ground floor, there is the kitchen, living room, and dining room. One floor up from that is one bathroom and 3 of the four bedrooms, which are currently an office, a book room (we have a lot of books) and the room my roommates share. The basement is a really nice finished basement that has a second living room, the fourth bedroom (mine) and the second bathroom. Everyone clear now? Jeez.
EDIT: I'm female, so I do not have a neck beard. As for the walking around without clothes...I did that until my original roommate's girlfriend moved in. She gets uncomfortable more easily than we do.
The trick is going out of your way to be terrible early on, just once, so they know what the absolute bottom limits are. Then just being slightly shitty looks good. Source: I've been wearing pajamas for over a week now, everyone is proud I'm awake during normal people hours
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:17:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you can wake up before noon consistently, like 50% of the shit talking goes away.
All my roommates and their significant others are used to seeing me walk around the apartment in just boxers. Its the good life. My significant other questions it, but just accepts it.
This used to happen with me when I lived at home. I would try and avoid using the bathroom as long as possible if family was at home till I was almost jumping up and down having to pee.
I lost 18 lbs because I didn't feel like eating. My kitchen is a meter from my room. My mini-fridge is a meter from my bed. Apparently, both are too far.
I don't want to man up because I'm female, dammit. And I'm not going to make my roommate that uncomfortable. I like her and she's a good person. Goodness.
Yeah it's insane isn't it? But hey we got a huge break on rent because of it. Since they CAN'T rent to four students, they rented it to us for what it would cost if it were a 3 bedroom. Actually it's less per month than our old 3 bedroom apartment that was really cramped. So there's an upside.
Haha that's interesting. Seems like there should be more of an incentive from the housing owners and management companies to get rid of that law. It'd mean more money for them, in this specific instance.
The rental companies hate it sooooo much. They and the college students are teaming up against it. The issue is that suburban families love this law because they get tired of loud college kids. I guess we can just wait and see!
Get a real movement going on man... It'll feel good. LOGIC 2014 is all yours to use in your quest to vanquish all that which is illogical.
Are you studying poli sci, policy, any of the social sciences, social work, npo's, business, etc?
If you are in that sphere of things, then launching this sort of campaign will look GOLDEN on your rรฉsumรฉ. You'll have something to write about if you're pursuing post-grad, potential employers will be impressed by your initiative, and everyone will want to hire you.
Are you in the sciences? Fuck it, still take the initiative, because that which is ILLOGICAL affects EVERYTHING. Illogical policies and red tape are the bane of Government-funded research, for instance.
LOGIC 2014 is the birth of a new political party. And you can be part of it in a big way. It's gotta start small in the grassroots, and this sleepy town of Fort Collins, Colorado is the ideal breeding ground. Fort Collins will be written into the history books as the birthplace of the Logic Party.
Social Psychology. Still works...I'm in! Also, please tell me you work in advertising or politics. If not, consider a career change. You have a talent.
Oh that's perfect -- you can make your thesis about this very thing, examining the current situation, looking at the different groups involved and how, at all, they've been coalescing around the issue, etc. Though it's a relatively benign problem, it's all a nice little microcosm to study group psychology, because the groups: property managers, students, local government, etc. are so distinct. What makes people care about things? How does a person's social group influence or predict that person's feelings and behaviors in relation to the problem? How does the degree of severity of what's at stake influence these things? Is there a way to increase perceived stakes in individuals or groups? If so, how? All interesting questions for a social scientist, I'd imagine.
I'm in the literary/publishing/journalism worlds, so these kinds of things are of much interest to me. And of course persuasion is everything in my line of work. I guess the same holds for any line of work really...
Now, I live in California. I'm not a student anymore. None of this immediately applies to me.
But it does apply to me, because this is an instance of an antiquated policy whose application today is completely illogical. That which is illogical is our ENEMY.
So this does apply to me. It applies to all of us. We must fight for logic. This may seem like a small problem in a small town, but it's bigger than Fort Collins. That which is not logical is our enemy, and we must fight it using logic. We will sign change.org petitions. We will break red tape. We will do this together, and we will use the forces of LOGIC!
Upstairs from my room. It's technically the ground floor and my room is in the basement. The ground floor has the kitchen and living room, and then one more floor up has my roommates' rooms.
For me, as a tipped pizza driver, I use my tips for groceries. After gas, that is. And if I still have some left over I use it to help with my other bills including my part of the cable bill.
Before that, I was blowing all my tips every night on fast food, and if I did particularly well in tips I might buy some Xbox LIVE points. Not only was I wasting money, I was getting fat.
You probably don't have a job that lets you come home with at least $20 in your pocket every night on top of hourly pay. But what I'm getting at here is, take stock of all your sources of income. Look at what you spend your money on and figure out the things you REALLY need versus the things you think you need. You might be surprised at how much money you may be wasting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I didn't have the Internet, how could I order food when I get hungry?
Alex470 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit... You just made me realize I also have a problem.
Parkodin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spend more on internet than I do on food. Of course that would be because my housemate doesn't have a phone line, I'm only renting a room, and wireless only net is expensive as balls.
My light bills is $515 and set for disconnect early next month. Got a call from my ISP that would be disconnecting my cable this week, which happens every month 60 days past due. So I decided to pay the cable bill. Well now I realized it won't matter if I have cable if there's no electric. But hey, priorities.
Treypyro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Look, we've got to set our priorities. I fear that I would lose my mind without the internet. I have set up most of my day to day entertainment based off of the internet.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:21:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once actually in December a couple years ago. Winter break rolled around and during those two weeks, I was in the worst pain and I couldn't eat anything. I ended up with a few stomach ulcers that still bug me to this day.
I recommend keeping a stash of food by your bed for those lazy days.
coedced ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:03:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once forgot to eat for 3 days. I drank some juice (it was a very hot summer), at work I was too busy at that time, at home I was just chillin. After 3 days I was like umm... I guess I forgot to eat.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Try hard. Its been 6 days now for me. Hardly moved an inch... I'm not sure if I can anymore.
gonnapie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:23:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now thats depressing, dude.
forrext ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:19:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My body has literally adjusted to me only eating 1 meal a day. I don't get hungry.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
fuck eating...yesterday I spent 1 hour trying to chop sweet potatoes, carrots,, wash mushrooms and this purple thingy that looks like vin diesel's nose, egg plant i think.
I've chosen to forgo eating before because I didn't have any clean pots, pans, or dishes. I still do that sometimes. I'll have food, but nothing to cook it in or eat it on/with. I'll take one look my dirty dishes and say "Whelp, guess I can't eat."
175gr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, just take adderall. It'll give you back your appetite.
(Note: I'm totally lying. People don't seem to get that from me. I must have a trusting internet-face.)
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well shit Reddit should order you a pizza
LoweJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yeh, i'm pretty much snacking because i cant be bothered to cook pasta. i have no bread for sandwiches, fish fingers take like 5 mins to cook and thats to long. My fridge just has butter and milk
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, I am lazy enough to not cook and too cheap to order food these days but I'm productive enough to make tea instead...or just drink the hot water... I do this a lot actually.
How do you honestly function? After only eating a large popcorn and a pretzel all day my body was about to fall on the ground because I didn't have any energy.
See I eat about 4 meals a day. If you have ever been to chipotle you know how big the burritos can get. Picture a very big burrito, and i cant eat 2 of those per meal. I honestly dont know how i survived just on popcorn.
As someone with ADHD, I feel your pain. It's even worse now that I'm on ADHD meds, as they suppress your appetite anyway. I'll be sitting at the computer and think "Fuck, I haven't eaten yet today. I need to do thaLOOK ANOTHER CAT VIDEO ON REDDIT!"
Repeat until hunger is too uncomfortable to ignore.
Dongface ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:43:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit must not be good for that. I know it's completely trashed my attention span.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:14:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I'm sure I don't have ADHD but what you describe happens to me too, it's not uncommon that I don't remember to eat until it's past midnight, and then it just makes more sense to go to sleep and wait for the morning.
Then again, when I do feel like eating I will go way out of control with it, I'll buy everything I like and eat it all in one day.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:33:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to me too except I was depressed and not lazy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:20 on December 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
depending on the depression, they can be very similar
We had a "mutual" break up. He lied to me a lot. I still love him in a sense that i care about him. We agreed to be friends but i seriously dont know if i can be friends. We work together at a restaurant. I see him and it literally hurts my heart. I want to call him and beg him to take me back. But I know I'm just setting myself up for a another heart break if I do.
I feel a bit happier and relieved cause I don't have that paranoia I had the last month of our relationship of him lying to me. I know it's going to get better. I know one day it'll just be a stupid useless memory, but right now it's killing me inside. Because I have no one to talk to about it. They don't know what I'm going through. And even as I write this. I'm crying my eyes out because of how horrible it felt when he said "I don't love you anymore".
I think I do the same thing (unless its something i can just pick up and eat, forget about it) and everyone is always wondering why I am getting thinner than them (they are all overweight compared to when I first met them).
I've been in this boat. Maybe during one period of my life, I wouldn't say I starved myself, but I would save money to hang out with a girl even if it meant skipping a meal here and there. For the most part, in phases where I became "too skinny" it was due to laziness around taking time out of my day to get food or cook and sit down and eat.
At the moment I am hungry, need to pee, and it's way past a sane hour. However, all of this requires me leaving the room I am in now. I'll just bounce my leg until I start to pass out and my subcocious takes over. Let him do the grunt work.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a first time home owner living by herself, I am entirely too busy to eat or cook, and when I get some time off I just want to sleep and lounge around. Laziness>cooking
hdawg19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how much I lost but I ate a slice of bread each day for 2 months once
easymak1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I live on the 14th floor of my dorm. In order to eat I have to take the elevator down to the first floor, then walk about 100 yards to the dining hall. Yeah... Ill have a bottle of water and a nap instead.
Congratulations. You've broken laziness. Everybody go home/turn off your devices. We're done here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is me, had the flu for a week and I lost 10 pounds in that week alone from not eating or moving, after that I'm just never hungry, maybe have a meal a day.
This was my college life. I gained an appetite once I started working a full-time job, but somehow, during those years before, I just never got hungry. I'd eat an apple in the morning and wouldn't even think to eat again until late that night.
I lost 50 lbs freshmen year of college. Only had a basic meal plan that was only open business hours. I could have walked a mile to the supermarket or ordered in, but that was too hard and expensive for me. This was also the time I pissed in my sink because I was too lazy to walk down the hall to the bathroom.
This. A lot of people are so willing to do anything to diet. Yet eliminating a meal or four a day would stave off all those love humps but they aren't willing to commit.
I have done this a lot. I'll cook dinner for the family, fix my daughter a plate, let my husband get is and then just eat what I want out of the cookware.
I don't know why. It's not like I won't have to do dishes anyway.
Back when I played WoW, I actually lost weight when I first started for the same reason. I didn't want to eat, I just wanted to play. I stopped playing very quickly
Im not anorexic I was a wrestler weighed 157 and after season i stopped working out and didnt feel like eating so i just lost weight
njayhuang ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:33:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I agree anorexia is a serious condition, but sometimes weight loss is just laziness.
Most people gain 15 pounds freshman year of college, I lost 15 pounds. I didn't have any body image/self esteem problems or whatever, I would just eat one meal a day because I was too lazy to go outside and get food.
anorexia: Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder that makes people lose more weight than is considered healthy for their age and height. Persons with this disorder may have an intense fear of weight gain, even when they are underweight. They may diet or exercise too much or use other ways to lose weight.
this is not that. its not fear of being fat or heavy rather just, forgetting to eat. Or being to lazy to make food to eat until you get really hungry.
ngwoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:46:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Anorexia (not anorexia nervosa) is simply any loss of appetite, if you're able to "forget to eat" you obviously lack an appetite. It could be nothing, but it could be a sign of something worse.
ibliz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows the booger disappears if you don't see where it lands.
Edit: Reddit, the magical place where even comments about flicking boogers can explode overnight. Thanks guys, my top comment is about boogers.
[deleted] ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 08:24:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad seems disgusted if he catches me eating my bogies... he flicks them on the carpet. I walk around barefoot/in socks in the house and every time I remember what he does I feel sick...
Oddly enough, this seem more disgusting to me than any of the other options. Just imagine putting that cold booger back in your nose, you could feel it sitting in there, taunting you.
rioba ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:41:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done that. Pick, roll, and stow for later. It feels very different the second pick.
dadick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:54:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just curious how you know this. Did this come up in conversation or did you see him do it?
rattails ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:26:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened when we were deployed. It did come up in conversation - he was honestly pretty proud of it and it was fairly well known in our battalion.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
jun2san ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good god this is hilarious.
Batatata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this a lot of the time, bu I just put in a place I know I won't touch like the tip of my nose or I just let it hang on my pinky like "surfs up dude"
kewigro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that I rub that shit on my bed on the like side in the corner above my head where I know I'm never gonna be but where it's still on the sheet so next time I wash it there will be a fresh patch for my new boggers.
SSmtb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Boogie in the kitchen,
boogie in the hall.
Boogie on my finger,
wipe it on the wall.
One of my good buddies growing up used to pick his nose and put it behind his bed... Like for years. The way we found out was when we were fucking around in his room and something went behind his bed so me moved his be to grab it and the entire back of his head board was COVERED in old boogers, easily the groadiest thing I've ever seen
When I was in college, a roommate of mine used to pick his nose and just wipe it on the wall next to his bed. His wall was a disgusting minefield of crusty, bloody boogers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sigh... I call my dog to eat my boogers off my fingers so I don't have to get up. Downside is I have to reddit with one hand on the phone until the dog finishes noming on it.
Once my cousin was eating a chocolate bar and some of it melted on his hands. He didn't want to wipe his hands on his clothes so he wiped them in his hair.
i dont even know why i'm telling you this. but i just upvoted you because i just found out i dont like the number 1500. it just doesnt sit right with me,
mtgpcs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:04:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He did say it was a monster truck.
mats852 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:15:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A Civic is a monster for an RC car
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:10:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My hunting dog would probably be so scared of it and would run away, dragging it along with him. Shotguns=all good. Anything else (ie fireworks, laundry Bins, chairs, etc) =run fo your life.
My dog is scared of my RC cars. when I drive them in his direction, he runs away. But when I drive away from him he hunts them down and tries to bite the tires. He's a little crazy.
Lady in my neighborhood growing up used to walk her dog while she drove in her car. I always felt bad laughing because I didn't know her situation or if she had a disability but holy shit, the image of a lady driving her car at idle speed with the dog on a leash coming out the window is one of the funniest things you will see in your life.
Or he's thinking: sigh here we go again. another pointless walk around the cul-de-sac. doesn't he realise how boring this is for me? doesn't he understand that going for a walk is about sharing that time together, sharing our little adventure together? oh how i miss the days when i was a pup and he'd spend hours playing with me, where i was the centre of his universe, we would walk together for hours discovering things, meeting other humans and animals. I wish that one day just one day he would take me out again, like he did all those years ago. It'll probably never happen now, probably not before i die, or my body becomes too tired. I still love him though.... even if he doesn't love me as much anymore...
I'm not judging you, btw... YOUR DOG IS!
;)
GayMage ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:09:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The future is now.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:11:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this guy who lives in my area I see every morning on a moped driving on the road with his dog on it's leash tied to said moped...though the dog doesn't seem to enjoy it and it pisses me off when I see the poor thing running at the speed he goes (legal street limit speed which I think 20mph due to it being a school zone as well).
Yeah, I realized that much, tying a dog to a toy car is one thing but to a damn street legal vehicle is absurd, I swear one day I am going to call animal control (or whoever I call) about animal abuse (if it is animal abuse).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:58:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dog is terrified of RC cars. She wouldn't not cooperate with this at all. My cars would end up dragging her if I tried, she's small and my cars are not haha.
Blinkkkk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I picture clifford the big red dog getting pulled around by a mini replica.
I think this is the safer way to walk a dog with a car, you could drive a real car, along side the RC car, or have a friend drive while you manage the RC car
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought an RC car for my dog to chase cause I didn't want to run. The only game she enjoys playing is run around the couch in circles. It worked well until she picked it up and ran off with it.
I did something similar with my dog. I'd let him out in the back garden, go to the second floor window, make him chase a laser pointer for 10 minutes, then I'd throw out some meat/snack and put the pointer on it. He got some exercise and the satisfaction of catching the nasty bright garden invader, I get to stay toasty indoors. Win.
Bashing my head the third time would get me angry enough to bash a hole in the wall to fix it. Then realise I broke the wall, so cover it up with a picture or something.
talon999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Catfysix ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 09:06:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Omg ily
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 11:26:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Flums ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:35:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What made you think people would find this comment funny?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's poetry.
Treypyro ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:33:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is too good, this sounds exactly like something I would do. Get all dressed up, go into the gym, sign in, look at the elevator with an "Out of Order" sign on it and then proceed to sign out, go home, and play video games.
bhouse08 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:01:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:36:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend ask me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "no, but I might want a regular one later, so yes"
rageak49 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:48:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Something something overused food joke
kidmono ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:35:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To keep with the themes of laziness and Hedberg... "Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny."
Seismica ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:52:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes they put out of order barriers up. One of the steps might be loose or something due to component failure, it isn't always that they break down.
Zagorath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:06 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I believe they put the barriers up for liability reasons. The steps on escalators are much higher than normal stairs, so people are more likely to trip.
Seismica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:07 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I've seen a set of escalators where half the stairs were taken out for maintenance too, so theres that.
actually used it in an earlier post asking where you got your username from... mine's from South Park & Big Gay Al saying he was "super, thanks for asking" so it just happened to be on my mind...
_vOv_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:15:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stairs that are way too high and has sharp edges! No thanks, I like my shin.
There was one of those big sandwich boards by escalators at the mall apologizing for the inconvenience that the descending escalator was broken. I went around the sign to walk down the escalator and immediately thought of this bit. Sigh, I will always miss Mitch.
Tell Debenhams that, their escalator was broken so they barricaded the top like people were going to just throw themselves down the stairs because they don't move for them anymore.
It was a nine floor building with thousands of people shuttling through it daily. Elevators would back up like hell, and there was only one. It was actually weird, because there were only elevators, and like the single-lane ones. Weird building.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a mall in Australia and they blocked off the escalator when it stopped running. Wtf.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
as someone who is under 5 feet tall, a broke escalator is basically like mountain climbing. the stairs are way higher/deeper/steeper than regular stairs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or meat grinders. RIP.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when they break they take the steps off of them to fix stuff.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ahaha!! This made me laugh out loud. I can't tell you how many times I've driven 15 minutes to the gym, parked, said fuck it, and drove back home. Your story reminded me of that.
hild4wgg ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:31:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
drove to class, couldn't find a parking spot in the lot immediately next to the building, went home.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:29:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I often drive to class, park and wait until I finished my coffee (can't drink it in the lab) and then I realize I'm good alone and don't want to see people so I drive back home.
I am currently on reddit on my phone in the school's parking...
Jesus Christ. Being in the army, I get so fired up over posts like these. I used to have a heavy drinking problem and got sent to jail twice over being late for work. (30 mins, then 40 mins a few months later)
I can't wait to get civvy-side into a College or University.
in my defense, I was battling a rough case of bronchitis that would have made me leave the room a couple times to have a coughing fit, so I didn't want to climb over people that many times to do it.
My app puts the words floor and classroom on different lines, so my tired brain read them as two thoughts. For a second I thought you were trying to tell me your classroom had broken.
My best was showing up to school and there was a tour for high school students going on that used my lecture hall. The class had been moved to another hall in a building right next door. I didn't feel like fighting the crowd again and just went home.
There were also a few times where I had a early afternoon class and the parking lots were packed and I would have to park in the sketchy overflow lot about a mile away. So I again, drove home. 25 minute drive to class, then another 15 parking and on the shuttle and repeating the process all for a 50 minute class. Ain't nobody got time fo that.
jal0001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say this is as much lazy as it is (procrastinaty?).
I drove to class in the city, and I could not find a parking spot to save my life, so I panicked because I didn't know the area well. I thought I'd have to drive too far away to know how to get to the building or remember how to get back. Drove home. Damn hockey fans messing with my education.
pantelic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove to class. Didn't find parking spot. Went home.
We were supposed to meet in the library for one economics class. I got there, puttered around in the lobby, knew damn well that they were back in the labs on the second floor and turned around. The only reason I went was because my friend and a few of her classmates confronted me and asked where everyone was. Was fully planning on leaving campus.
Drove to class, got there 30 minutes early. Decided to get on reddit outside the class while waiting. The class ended an hour ago and I was still sitting there...right outside the classroom on my laptop. Went home.
It was a productive day.
blobblet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove home. Escalators up to third floor flat were broken. Slept in the hall.
Haha reminds me of the time I took the bus 45 minutes to school, stepped foot on campus, thought hard, turned around and rode the bus 45 minutes back home.
I've been sitting on the toilet for 45 minutes cause I don't want to pull my pants up.
Edit: Apparently a lot of people think this is gonna give me hemorrhoids. Well I hope that you're wrong but I want to assure everyone that at the moment my ass is okay
These people constantly remind me that my username is a reference that not many people will get, thus I am mostly seen as, well, A Coward and A Thief...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:57 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then you have that awkward walk when your legs are basically paralyzed. When the feeling finally starts coming back it's like every step you take you're hitting a funnybone nerve in your leg.
Yes, especially if you do it for extended time or strain. It's one reason why western countries have much higher incidence rate of hemorrhoids compared to countries where they squat (also diet / obesity and child birthing method).
Only if you're still pushing or you don't adjust after going.
By adjust, I mean lift up a bit so your ass cheeks aren't spread out wide.
Unless you just have those hemorrhoids that sometimes pop out when you sneeze sometimes. I have them and get them pretty often but not quite as bad as those poor people.
Not really. I'm actually fairly small so when I sit on the toilet and one ass cheek is on each side of the toilet seat, I'm all spread out like some doctor is about to go prospecting. If I sit normally on the toilet like I would on a chair, my ass is pressed together and I feel like I'd get shit all over. This may have something to do with me being really short too- I think I sit differently on the toilet because there are many of the I've been on where my feet don't reach the ground.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:23:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, please pull your pants up. Sitting on the toilet to long stretches your anus which has drying poop on it. It will rip your anus like chap lips. And it hurts.
ailish ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:20:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about everyone else, but when I sit on the toilet for awhile because I'm lazy/playing on my phone, I wipe when I'm done pooping, flush, then sit there for 15-20 minutes.
No, like there was a weightlifter that pushed too hard on a squat and he farted his bowels out (literally) in front of everyone at a competition. I think this happened in the mid-2000s.
PROLAPSE! Thanks reddit, for helping me remember.
Prolapse is what I meant.
shano1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think we've all done that before. I have a galaxy tab, it's awesome for squat surfing.
In reality you probably had a smartphone or something to read with you to entertain yourself but in my imagination you just sat there staring at the door - refusing to pull your pants up.
I accidentally hit tab when I saw this comment, and it put me back at the top of the page. Instead of scrolling down I went into Terminal and made a code to find your username and position the window there.
Took probably another minute more than it would have if I scrolled down.
I've been regularly sitting on the toilet for hours reading boos for the past 13 years or so. No hemorrhoids, your butt should be fine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:34 on April 30, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Please note, that's for the moment. I've developed hemorrhoids because I take too long of poops and poop too hard. It happens man. Protect your anus, take shorter shits.
I do that too! And it's comfy (especially if the toilet paper roll is positioned well and you can use it as a head rest)
Nothin' like browsing reddit for a long time on the loo coz you're too lazy to move to the computer :P
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Im sitting on the toilet right now. Its 11pm where I am, I should go to bed but I think i'll stay here. Another couple hours on the toilet cant be that bad.
EDIT: forgot "the" before toilet.
el_pepe ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 05:40:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this just isnt funny
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:02:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who said it was meant to be?
-eDgAR- ยท 1621 points ยท Posted at 03:41:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I woke up about 30 minutes late and called in sick to work instead of rushing to get ready for the day.
gugacmv ยท 470 points ยท Posted at 06:00:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
happens to me but it pertains to my classes instead. i probably skip about 3 classes on average per week due to my laziness and lateness
DHLucky13 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 07:45:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Oops, woke up 5 minutes later than usual. I don't want to come in late and disrupt the class so I might as well skip it. And if I'm not going to my first class there's no reason to waste my time driving to campus to go to only two classes If I have to come back later anyways." And that's how I end up skipping my first 3 classes entirely too often.
Back in high school, I was literally told (my school was very lenient btw) that if I missed two more days I would fail automatically, which was a pretty huge deal obviously. I had literally no reason to skip other than I'd wake up a few minutes late and just say "Well, might as well not go to school today."... although I did go if there a test in the afternoon after lunch.
I was valedictorian. LOL.
Lulxi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:28:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of the many, many reasons retail is a fucking joke. Everyone I know who works or has worked retail (myself included) calls out. I especially love the fucked up hours you get, never 9-5 or something close. It's like 3-10, 1:45 - 5:!5 / 5:45 - 10:10. I'm glad I have a real big boy job because.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You need to get good at just telling it like it is. "Sorry I'm late, I woke up late." You have to truly not give a shit this happens, or feel bad about it. It's really not a big deal. If someone makes a stink, ignore them.
At my job if I'm 11 minutes late I just call in. It is the same points on the attendance policy, so why go?
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 07:27:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Dreadgoat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:07:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a company with a similar policy once. It has hilarious consequences. E.g. new-ish guy walks in 15 minutes late, rushing, breathing heavily, apologizing. HR tells him that he is getting an absence strike. An absence strike? Yep, that's the policy. Guy walks straight out and says "see you tomorrow." Fast learner. Company loses 7.75 man hours for no reason.
A company my husband worked for had a point system. 2 points if you were late or left early (regardless of the reason) and 3 points if you were absent.
His supervisor had some kind of appointment in the morning, so he came in late. Then he had to go the same afternoon to follow up on whatever he had done earlier that day. He came in to work in between and got 4 points when he could have just stayed home and only gotten 3.
shibbee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:08:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why 11?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:59:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
God damn i have had food poisoning so many times too!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:39:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school if you were late often they would make you go to lunch detention. So if i couldn't make it to school on time i would just turn around and go home.
rdubyeah ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:12:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hello me in college. "Damn, you mean I'd have to rush my shower?". "Nope."
I did that a few times until I finally ended up at a job where I'm allowed to come in and work on my own time, when I feel like it, and nobody ever asks me anything about my hours, as long as I show up to pre-planned meetings which are about once a month and usually at like 2:00 in the afternoon.
I guess what I'm saying is... the dream job exists, man. Keep searching!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:44 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dwolf555 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:40:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this when I realize I'm going to be late for work.
I've literally been outside the office doors, looked at my watch and realized I'll be five minutes late when I sign in, so I pull out my cell phone and tell them "Hey. This is xpinballwizard. I'm sick. Can't come in today", as I'm getting back in my car to drive home.
That's pretty much how a third of my vacation days get used. At the same time, depending how your job is with attendance, you're in just as much trouble for being a half hour late as you are calling out.
I am always on time for everything. Running late gives me terrible anxiety. Especially if I'm driving. I used to have a telemarketing job that tolerated a lot of absences. If I wasn't going to be at least 15 mins early, I just said fuck it and called in sick. This happened a lot.
I was drinking last Thursday. Was supposed to work Friday at 9am, woke up at like 1:30pm, called my boss. Got out of bed, did a circle in my living room and went back to bed. Woke up at 6pm and just watched Netflix on my tiny phone screen until I fell asleep again.
mabramo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been doing this too much lately. Good thing I just remote into my workstation from home. IT has its benefits.
I definitely agree. I have never had so little energy. I showered and was too tired to put clothes on so I slept in a towel, on top of my covers, on the end of my bed
[deleted] ยท 213 points ยท Posted at 07:18:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
It's hard to describe mono to people who haven't had it. The complete and utter lack of energy you experience makes it sound like a total exaggeration when it's really not.
There were points where I had so little energy that I couldn't move a couple inches to make myself comfortable while lying down, and just fell asleep how I was. And other points where I would just lay in bed for hours staring at the ceiling because I didn't have enough energy to literally do anything.
I tried to text my best friend and tell her why I wasn't at school and literally couldn't move my phone closer and type. I fell asleep twice before I finished the text.
Hyro0o0 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 09:04:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds dangerous. If a wild animal had burst into the room would you have been able to summon the energy to flee?
macogle ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 09:45:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely not. When I had that shit I was so sick I couldn't eat or drink because I was so tired because I couldn't eat or drink because I was so tired. Deadly cycle.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono is terrible. I spent weeks bleeding from ny throat. ... I did pass the most relieving blood clot ever at the end
QU4Dv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:16:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How do you PASS a blood clot? Did you cough it up?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. It fucking sucked I don't know how I didn't choke to death on it
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not something people typically take pictures of.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:43 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But this is reddit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:52 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
True, I was 17 at the time with no phone. :) would have been a cool thing to get a picture of if I didn't have mono...
QU4Dv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did it cause pain or did it just feel weird?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of pain. Very slimy
12ozSlug ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:50:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my entire second semester of college :/
tludin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:49:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had it when I was still single. Couldn't drink for a couple days to I set out to start an IV on myself. Despite being a medic it's harder than it looks to do it one handed when you're that weak. Ended up getting blood everywhere in the process which I then soaked up into a RATM t-shirt and discarded
When I had it, after a week I finally managed to get in my car and drive 2 blocks to campus where they had a clinic.
Clinic tested for mono, came back positive, but refused to write me a note. Call my parents, they say tough shit. I had to drive my mono-tired ass an hour and a half to the doctor, manage to stay awake through the appointment, and through the hour and a half drive back. Those 4 hours were the most I had been awake in over a week, combined.
My boss's kids get pissed when she wont drive an hour back and forth to do their laundry for them at college. I always pull out the stories of my parents when she gets in "I'm a horrible mom" mode. Not that mine were terrible, I always had food and a place to sleep, but they certainly wouldn't drive to my college apartment to do my laundry for me.
I had it when I was 12, my mother had to hold my head up at times and feed me. Yes the total lack of energy would be frightening if you even had the energy to be frightned.
Had mono when I was 16. I was tired as fuck most of the time, but I had it at the hight of my wow addiction back in vanilla.
That gave me time to grind honor ranks for the almost free epic mount (becouse I was broke and could not afford it the normal way). Some of the best times ever. Just sat on the couch drinking tea and gaming for hours upon hours.
But boy was it an expirience when I could eat my first solid food in weeks.
tldr: WoW > mono
eneka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:32:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like what happened to me a couple weeks ago, but the doctor said it was the flu...first time I have ever gotten it.
I remember when I tried to pretend I didnt have mono. The doctor at uni said it was the worst case she had ever seen and promptly shot me up with steroids. Even with steroids I spent almost the entire month in bed. Fucking terrible.
So true. I described it as feeling like my entire body shutting down -- I would be able to go until about 5 o'clock and then whoomph all energy gone. I had to get help to walk to the bathroom and back, a whopping 20 feet from my room.
What's weird is now I can spot mono in other people from a mile away. I've diagnosed three different people who came back to me a few weeks later and were like, "Yeah, I have mono. I'll see you in a few months."
Hand1r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono was the worst experience of my life. There were many times I would get up, walk over to get a glass of water, get back on the couch, fall asleep before I got to drink the water.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing happened to me too. I also had to eat nothing but soft foods since, if I could muster the energy to eat at all, I couldn't muster the energy to chew food.
Hand1r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The sore throat was the worst, though. I texted my dad every morning BRING ME THE STEROIDS.
When I had mono, there was food in the freezer in the garage but I was too tired and too sensitive to the cold to get it. I'm pretty sure my lunch was oreos.
So, great success.
Milkjars ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
During my senior year of high school, I came down with mono two days before my first anime convention. I had paid for everything already and didn't want to waste the money so I went. Worst idea ever, I couldn't talk or eat. I could barely walk around the hotel or even get into the outfits I made. I would fall asleep randomly in the hotel and no one wanted to share a bed with me so people ended up sleeping on the floor to let me have the bed.
Luckily, after the convention was when i got the worst part of the disease. I agree though, you give no fucks with mono.
I had mono once and never even knew it. I was working a labor intensive job the entire time too. I went to the doctor for something completely unrelated and it came back that I had just gotten over it.
kyrbayn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Most accurate description of mono... my dad would yell at me to move when I had mono. I just couldn't!
I was bedridden for almost 2 weeks. The first week I'd sleep for hours on end, then only have enough energy to roll over. It was miserable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:58 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Now that I think about my last comment is invalid, I didn't get out of bed for a week . Wouldn't get up to eat, got up to piss, refused to shower because I knew I'd pass out. I actually kind of liked it besides the whole swollen ass throat
Having also been through chronic depression, I can tell you that mono is worse.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:56:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've also had both, but depression was worse for me. While both took away any and all energy or motivation to anything besides breathe and occasionally move my eyeballs, at least with mono I didn't contemplate death 18+ hours a day on top of it.
The physical tiredness and pain is worse, but mono was a strangely spiritual experience for me. I think as long as you are able to willingly submit to the fact that you need to do nothing but rest, it can be weirdly enjoyable. After the worst was over and I started to get better, I was happier than I'd ever been. Also, with mono, you never have the underlying sense that it's YOUR FAULT you have it. And you can be confident that it'll be mostly over in a month. So if I could choose between depression and mono, I would definitely choose mono!
Also, with mono, you never have the underlying sense that it's YOUR FAULT you have it.
The best part of mono is in fact figuring out who may have given it to you and then yelling at them for a few seconds, using all the energy you can muster. Then you need to nap for a week, but it at least makes you feel better about yourself.
(And I know it's incredibly difficult to pin down where it came from in real science terms, etc., etc., but that doesn't make it less satisfying.)
First boyfriend. Lovely guy visited me on exactly one occasion during my month of pain, waited until I got better, then broke up with me. Yeah, I wasn't so smart.
Except it sort of is. It's called the kissing disease for a reason.
Excuse me for not feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt about not investing in mouth-condoms while dating someone who had had the disease at least 8 months earlier and didn't think to mention it.
And you can't be confident with depression.
That was the implied point of the comparison, yes.
My point was that depression, for me at least, comes with a bunch of nasty thoughts about self-blame which feel much worse than the physical tiredness.
Mono, as well as making me tired, gave me the perfect excuse for being tired, and I no longer had need for any depressive guilt. In that particular circumstance, having mono may even have saved me from spiralling into a depression. I got it a few weeks before summer break, dropped out of all my classes, and all I had to do for a few months was rest and take care of myself, guilt-free. It was brilliant.
Iloveeuph ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:51:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I had mono and was walking up the stairs for a nap I said fuck it, lied down on the stairs (vertically mind you so I was on multiple steps) and took a nap.
I wished I could've slept more often when I had mono. Sometimes I could, but usually I couldn't. Usually I was just so tired I had to lay down.
However, thanks to depression, I got a head start on my mono-- I spent the week before it mostly laying down and I think it actually made my mono go away faster.
Yeah, that's why I spent all of my mono times in a bathrobe if I could help it. At that point, it's like fuck clothes.
What didn't help in my case is that twice a day for a week I was going to to a clinic for intravenous fluids and painkillers, and on top of that they had me on steroids to bring the gland swelling down...so between the dehydration from not being able to swallow fluids between clinic visits, and the insomnia resultant from the steroids, I actually ended up hallucinating and crap.
Oops, sorry that wasn't very clear. I went in twice per day for a week straight, so like morning and night I was there. They didn't really have the resources to keep my 24/7, it was one of those downtown 24 hour clinic type deals. But they left the little IV hookup thing in my wrist to cut down on time getting me set up, which was kind of gross and sore.
I was pretty lucky with it because it only lasted two weeks of very sick with another two after that of just being tired but still functional. But, when it was really bad my eyelids got really swollen and watching tv or reading gave me a headache so I just sat in my bed and pretty much meditated for 3 days straight. Only drank water and gatorade too. Weird times.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:45:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think I've just worked out what's been wrong with me since I turned 22 (30 now)
The only times I moved while I had Mono was when I had to use the bathroom. Taking a dump usually ended up as a 3-hour nap on the throne. A month of my life, just a blur unsatisfying sleep.
Ihsahn_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I can totally imagine someone just walking in on someone asleep in the toilet. Especially because I had it myself, and it was so tempting at times.
ico2ico2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:46:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is my entire life. I'm not infected, just lazy.
When I had mono, I didn't even realize I had it. I thought it was depression/exhaustion from moving. I'd get up every day, shower, take a nap, get up and not actually do anything. Then I'd cook something when my boyfriend got home, we'd eat and then he'd play video games while I slept on the bed next to him. Then I'd get up and get ready for bed and we'd go to sleep. Never occurred to us because we're dumb.
This sounds like how fatigued I was in my first trimester of pregnancy. There was one week where I only left bed once to shower. And while in the shower I didn't have the energy to condition my hair so I just shampooed then sat on the floor til I had the strength to crawl to my towel.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm here, at one point you just get to the point of "Fuck it, I'm sick, I don't need this shit." Except that feeling occurs everyday for 6 months (or at least that was my experience).
Yep. Went to a neurologist and did all these weird tests and he gave me this maneuver I could do to help with it. He also told me to stop eating so much salt and gave me this antivert pill which helps. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy though. It's worse than a hangover minus the fun part.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono is caused by the Epstein-Barr virus. It's a form of the Herpes virus that lies dormant in you forever. Something like 80% of the world is infected with this virus, but only around half get mono from it. God I love microbiology.
The virus is a DNA virus. It can hide in your cells from your immune system and lie dormant for a very long time, and in some cases forever without showing signs.
Edit: sorry, took out the part about the cold sores, I thought I was in a thread about herpes simplex type 1. The rest still stands though. :)
What are some possible ways to contract the illness?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono is commonly called the kissing disease but you can get it from anything really. Drinking fountains, sharing drinks/food, any exchange of bodily fluid I presume.
Contact is the most often way to contract it. Kissing, touching, etc. Even if you don't have a break out and you have the virus, you can pass it along to someone else. It also can be passed from mother to child during vaginal birth if the mother has herpes simplex type 2 (genital).
bmartin1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, at least that's what we were taught in Microbiology. My teacher liked to put it like this: look around you, only 2 in 20 people here don't have the virus, but they'll most likely get it eventually.
It never really gets out of your system. It just goes dormant.
ohmygod_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom and her controlling ex boyfriend made me be better waaaaay faster than I should have. Also, if I was on the computer it was a sign that I could be at school.
feraxil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:44:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I had mono 2 years ago and had no clue. Kept working.
Do people work with mono? I don't understand how you could. I got it over the summer when I was in college, so I wasn't working anyway. How could anyone work for 6 months?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I had mono I was too weak and tired to drink water. I ended up having recurring hallucinations and dreams that I'd somehow gather the energy to get a glass of water only for the glass always be empty when I tried to drink from it. Then I'd wake up, try to get some water, and the glass would be empty again. Then I'd wake up again....repeat. It was inception-like. It's the only thing I can remember from the 5 weeks I spent on the couch. I really should have been the hospital.
I am a pretty busy and outgoing person but I have never been more apathetic in my entire life than when I had mono. I honestly didn't want to talk to anyone, see anyone, or do anything for like 8 weeks. So bizarre. Completely altered my life for two entire months.
Seriously. I got a head-to-toe rash from being misdiagnosed and given the wrong antibiotics. Then the steroids I had to take to get rid of the rash brought back my acne that is finally starting to go away again almost two years later. Bonus: the steroids made me cry! The being sick part was just like being super sick and not wanting to do anything at all, including eat (hence, losing a lot of weight). I was only out of school for about a month though, so I guess it really could've been worse as far as mono goes.
I lost so much weight when I had mono. Firstly because mono made me not hungry most of the time but then when I was I couldn't be fucked eating let alone finding food.
I wish I could say the same. My throat was in horrible shape and I had a reaction the the antibiotics. A lot of time was spent sleeping in baking soda baths and weeping silently.
I was completely down for three months and went to school 1/2 days for another month. Most of the school days were spent sleeping in class or the nurse's office.
Tomledo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:12:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good description. I really didn't mind that I was laying around for weeks at a time
Lay_May ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:02:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Most painful illness I've ever had.
I was instantly drugged up and my online class wouldn't let me make anything up, so a lot of assignments were done super high.
Had it, was pretty much unconscious for four weeks, nothing could move me. It then triggered my genetic predisposition for Hashimoto's hypothyroidism. I can't remember what its like to feel awake.
NightGod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. It's bad enough that I failed out of college in 1991 because I couldn't be bothered to go withdraw from my classes. Finally got that fixed this year.
d3gu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had mono when I was 20 and 5 years later I'm still fucking knackered. It's like being in a weird zombie state. I don't actually remember the period of time when I was ill.
maltzy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:38:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is the best explanation of Mono I have ever seen.
The summer I had Mono I worked at a summer camp, and I just though I had a bad cold. I worked long hot days, running around with kids through this huge summer camp where everything was uphill. It was over by the time I got my results back....mustve been a really mild case
belixX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remember I got it the day the fourth Harry Potter came out. I just spent the day reading the book after school and didn't even realise I was sick until my mom came home, looked at me in utter disbelieve and drove me straight to the doctor.
un-sub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, man, I had mono at prom, it was the worst. Luckily it wasn't my prom, but a girl I was dating from another school. I barely even remember it, but I remember sitting and watching people dance. I don't think I had fun at all.
It was strange how i fount out that i had mono. It was the week of my junior year finals, and my mom thought it was just stress. I wasn't eating anything, was barely getting dressed for school, and my mom got many calls about falling asleep in school that last week. 3 weeks later went to doctor after losing 20 pounds due to not eating. Found out it had been mono and the doctor was absolutely amazed. I had been working 24 hour weeks for my summer internship and was regularly volunteering. Once i found out, took full advantage, and basically didnt leave my couch for 6 weeks.
I just slept all day, when I wasn't sleeping, I was napping
Russile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:01 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I had mono a few years ago they had me taking some kind of painkillers, oxycodone I think. While in the strangest state of mind I've ever been (sick and feel amazing at the same time) I wrote a song, and I still think it is my best one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:59 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny actually, when I had mono it just felt like really bad strep, cause I'm always exhausted.
ThatFag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
Phallic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Strangely enough, I had never heard of this ailment until I went to university and met exchange students from the US, who seemed to suffer from it regularly.
I dunno, it just doesn't exist in Australia, for some reason.
LA-RAH ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:24:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it does, we just call it glandular fever. I have it right now, here in Adelaide.
Phallic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:40:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well TIL! Thanks!
LA-RAH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
does anyone feel like they never fully recovered from it and still feel tired all the time? like i still have 60% of the tiredness. Before i was bouncing off of the walls almost every day
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:54:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono can lead to an extended version of Mono called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. You may have that? Go see your doctor to confirm. I had CFS for about 6 years before I recovered fully.
There are some natural remedies that can help your energy levels - I recommend vitamin B6, Hawaiian Spirulina, Fish Oil and lots of fresh vegetables. If you find the tiredness is really bad, consider giving up red meat and eating more fish.
Aikidi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:42:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That may have just conveniently correlated with becoming older and having the weight of the world break you.
I have thought about this too. The other day, I asked my dad if you lose energy as you get older. Typical dad said "I dunno"
tsacian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:22:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It takes a while. I suggest you start working out, running, anything active for an hour a day just to help your body recover. It can be a really slow recovery since you become used to being lethargic.
Sonendo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:08:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A friend did this in high school. He DID get mono, didn't take his meds and did everything he could to prolong being sick (idiot).
Then pretended to have the symptoms even longer. I think he "caught" mono three times.
Aikidi ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:43:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, if you've had it once it can come back.
H2Sbass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always heard it was like chicken pox, where if you've had it before, you will now be immune (generally).
I wish I could have taken advantage of my mono. I had started a new job 3 months prior and I was working my ass off to impress my bosses. Then got mono, couldn't figure out what was going on. I was arriving to work 2 hours late cause I over slept, fell asleep at my desk multiple times. finally after 2 weeks I went to the doctors... and mono.
Told my new employer what was going on, and why my performance had dropped. Just looked at my like a deer in headlights.
I was at University and my girlfriend had mono. I told everyone that I went to the doctor and tested positive, but I never really did go. Then I stayed in my dorm room and didn't do anything.
Mono was the fucking worst. I had to drop out of school for two months. Absolutely no energy, to the point that I would fall asleep trying to reach for the TV remote. My immune system was so depleted that at one point I had a double ear infection, strep throat and a sinus infection all at the same time.
Not one day without a fever. Lymph nodes and liver/spleen so swollen they were physically palpable. I do not know how I survived this. Worst 2 months of my life.
Completely possible! If so, then it was mild, and not much more debilitating than my baseline laziness. And I milked the hell out of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:19 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Spencer?
Edit: After checking your comment history you are definitely not Spencer, just another lazy ass motherfucker that faked mono. Warning, after he faked mono he got mono, and then he got another rare strain of mono.
When I had mono I would get up shower then be so tired and go back to bed. I would put a movie in and then be so tired from putting it in I fell asleep before I could press play. On top of this I had strep throat. So if I ate I would throw up then be so tired I would fall back asleep. I had zero concentration in school. It was the worse thing ever. Mono sucks.
eve- ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:52:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky fucking you. I really DID have mono, and they (school, docs, and parents) made me go back to class after just two weeks of rest.
It was a daily occurrence for me to cry of embarrassment while sitting on the landing halfway up a single flight of stairs panting, unable to keep going.
aeeee ยท 460 points ยท Posted at 07:17:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The real winners will be too lazy to log on and write in this thread though.
BeeHammer ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:30:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Auto login, I don't even remember my password anymore.
Furoan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:01:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm assuming you don't remember your username and just found a computer that was already logged on to some (harder working) person's account...
Godolin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:03:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't even know what website he's on.
jonakun ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:39:15 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:46 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
too lazy to upvote that.
TenTera ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Log on? What's that? I'm never more than 3 ft away from Reddit.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2418 points ยท Posted at 01:58:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My tv was on my dresser and I didn't have a remote. I had turned off netflix in an effort to go to bed. I decided a few minutes later that sleep is for the weak and decided for more netflix. I never got up to turn my tv back on though, I watched hours of netflix on my tiny phone to avoid getting up for 5 seconds.
[deleted] ยท 1036 points ยท Posted at 05:21:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oops...I knocked my phone off my bed. I really don't want to get up. Okay so I will just reach forward. Okay, not flexible enough...but maybe if I extend my leg and then reach forward. Fuck, that didn't work. I am just going to roll onto my belly now and superman this shit out. Now both my hands are on the floor, I just need to shimmy forward just a bit. Just a little more. a little more. GOT IT! Fuck. now I fell on the floor too.
[deleted] ยท 919 points ยท Posted at 05:50:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Annndddd I guess I'm stuck sleeping down here now.
Pull blankets down from bed and hope a pillow falls off in the process.
Erkkiks ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:07:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You really are stupidly clever.
flisis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not alone
Iunchbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of pillows.
I'm laying in bed too far to turn off the light. I begin to throw any object that could possibly flip the switch off. Needless to say I slept with no pillows that night.
This is exactly how I wake up every morning. I intentionally put my phone out of reach of my bed, so that when my alarm rings I'll be forced to get out of bed and turn it off. Never works, I always just end up stretching out as far as possible, and then inevitably rolling onto the floor.
I used to do that. In fact, I took it one step further.
I had an app that made me solve some maths questions before it'd turn off, then 2 minutes later I had a jigsaw alarm app. I put my phone across the room, and put a shit load of stuff in between my bed and the phone.
Turns out, not only am I a maths and jigsaws whizz, I'm also a pro at doing obstacle courses in my sleep.
My sophomore year of college i dropped my phone behind the dorm bed.....left it there for three days, cuz fuck that, until my roommate got tired of hearing it ring and got it for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A similar thing happened to me:
In my freshman year in college we used to have those bunked beds ( the ones with the desk underneath the bed) and my alarm rang in the morning ( my phone), it was on my desk underneath my bed.
Instead of jumping out of bed to get it I ended up reaching for it from bed and fell down. My fall was broken by my head hitting the desk chair.
my roommates enjoyed it.
I keep ~2ft long pvc poles near my bed. Partly to play with, partly for leverage to get myself up off the ground when I need something
_chewie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this on a near nightly basis. Solution: get rid of bed, place mattress on floor.
Kelter82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:12 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In order to stretch farther, I pretend like I'm chained up and the key is whatever I'm reaching for. My mom is also chained up. If I don't get the key, they'll kill us both. Guess what? I reached the switch to my lamp.
Ha! I just watched an entire movie (Take Me Home Tonight) on my phone about two hours ago for the same reason. I have a remote, but it's next to the tv, across the room.
In a similar vein, I was sitting on my couch watching TV and wanted to change the channel, but my remote was on the coffee table. I didn't want to lean forward to get it, so I grabbed my phone which was sitting next to me, downloaded a TV remote app, set it up, and changed the channel that way. Something that probably took 10 minutes to do, instead of the 5 seconds to lean forward and grab the remote in the first place.
iDubbbb ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:32:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This happened moments before you posted this thread, didn't it?
This reminds of something I did.
I wanted to watch Netflix, so I grabbed my Xbox controller, but it was dead. So I put that down, picked up my PS3 controller. Also dead.
Okay, no problem, go to grab for my Wii U controller, was just out if reach on its charge base. Fuck.
I go to my TV's smart menu, but I haven't set up Netflix there, and I don't remember my password. Getting frustrated now.
I grab my tablet, but it has low battery. It won't survive Netflix. Neither will my smartphone.
Ugh. I watch it on my computer split screen with my editing software for my podcast. I realize the whole reason I started this process was because I can't edit and Netflix at the same time.
I figured I am shit out of luck at this point. I look around, finally see my 3DS, and jackpot. That 70's Show here I come.
Kongo204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I met you regretted that incident in the morning.
uiemad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I say sleep is for the weak all the time and I find your laziness commendable. We are BFFs now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been avoiding plugging my tv in at my new place, so I've been watching netflix on my phone for two months.
To be fair, the tv is in a perfect spot but there aren't any plugs close enough.
So I gues I've been too lazy to go buy an extension chord.
w000p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
oh wow I do this all the time and just realized how lazy it is... my laptop is often right next to my bed, but I'd rather watch an entire series on my tiny phone screen than lean over and pick up my laptop.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently surfing reddit on my phone because my laptop is at the foot of my bed.
My husband did this but I took advantage so Im guilty too. We were in his mancave attached to the garage. Its about 100 feet from the house. Using his cell he called the house phone. One of the kids answered and he told him to come to the cave. When he got there my husband told him to grab a beer out of the fridge that was about 10 feet away. I said, "While you're there, grab me a soda." I feel so ashamed.
I grew up before cell phones, so my dad's preferred method was to yell in my general direction, and when I came over ask me if I was going to the kitchen. Regardless of the answer, he would say "Do me a favor, and go get me a soda/chips/whatever. And ask your mother if she wants anything." I'm in my 30s and though I moved out years ago, every time I visit he does the exact same thing, and I always go after asking Mom if she wants anything. And we laugh about it every time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same thing only I called their name in an excited/scared voice, as if I was in distress, to get them in there quicker.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 775 points ยท Posted at 03:08:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ding ding ding. We have a winner! I do go by Kat though. The only one who calls me Kathleen is my mom when she's pissed.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
that was a freaky guess. I knew a Kathleen, I nick-named her kit-kat, and she had an over-protective brother named Mike. I legitimately had to check your comment history to ensure you weren't her.
From the lack of lace, frills, and mirrors that women insist on putting in every room.
It's the only reason I can think of for her to be in there.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:14:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My fucking fat ass former step mom made me get up at least 10 times every day to get her side out of the fridge. Didn't matter if I was studying, watching a movie, or (IIRC once) sleeping.
I'm so glad her petulant, disgusting, intolerant, intolerable ass is out of my life.
I'd say sorry, but... I feel that laughing at that isn't an issue for you.
biga29 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:09:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, once me and my friend were in a hotel trying to take a nap, but we had forgotten to shut the door to the room. He was already asleep so I called his girlfriend who was on the other side of the hotel and told her that he needed to tell her something. She showed up at the room a few minutes later and I poked my head out from under the covers and asked if she could shut the door while she was here. She stormed off leaving the door open and I had one of the best naps ever...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:59:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time my mom yelled at me from the opposite end of the house and I ran to her thinking something was wrong and all she said was "can you let the dog out." The door was 15 feet from the couch she was sitting on.
my parents did this shit to me all the time. they'd yell and i'd come downstairs and get them an ashtray and lighter and smokes and some chips that were literally about ten feet away from them. like everyday this happened. i feel like i'm a bit more of a submissive person from that shit. to a detriment. don't pull that shit too often.
My parents are like this. A few summers ago, I spent a few weeks at my aunts house she thought it was funny how I hopped to it whenever she asked me to do things. She said I was "jumpy." It's because my mom loses her mind if you take more than three seconds to do what she asks. Ugh.
My mother did this to me and now I have the expectation that when someone asks you to do something you do it right away. Drives me nuts when other people don't do this. I know in my head that it's an unreasonable expectation so I try not to let my frustration show but it's hard sometimes.
Its what my husband calls his private room. Its the same as a den or smoking room back in the day. Supposed to be no women allowed. In his case its also the only place I wont bitch about him hanging a deer head or his sports memorabilia.
She won't bitch about him hanging a deer head or sports memorobilia there, it's not a seven-year-old's no-girls-allowed club. It's a place he gets to make his own.
It worries me that reddit is having so much trouble understanding how a dude with be okay with his wife hanging out with him in a place where he's comfortable.
Treypyro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:41:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad would try to do this to me but I quickly outsmarted him, so he started getting my little sister to do it. He would yell her name and tell her to come into the living room to either get him a beer or hand him the remote, which was usually less than 10 feet away.
I've done something similar. Me: "Hey so-and-so, there's some mail for you over there." Them: "There's no mail hereโฆ" Me: "No, but can you turn up the volume on the tv while you're there?"
My parents call me on my cellphone from theirs all the time to tell me to get shit and make sandwiches and stuff for them so you're not out of the ordinary I guess. And of course now that I know this trick I'll for sure use it on my kids when I have some.
ico2ico2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your husband's real laziness is not bothing to think of a suitable excuse to exclude the wife from his man-cave.
"Yeah baby, the rafters are... very unsafe... also full of snakes".
It started when my dad called for my brother to close the back door which was 5 feet from him and across the house from my brother. Then it was across the house and upstairs. Then he started calling him on his cellphone. Then my brother went to college half an hour away, and my dad would still call him and tell him to close the back door.
Now he's in grad school between 90 and 120min away, and he still calls him, saying "it's cold out, close the back door."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ugh my dad always made me get him beers when I was a kid. It took years before I discovered that I can tell him to fuck off and get it himself.
My mother did something like this to me as a child. She called my name and told me to come to her room one night. It was 11 or so and I was just about to fall asleep. She says to me, "will you turn off my lamp?"
I'm like are you serious? The lamp switch is 4 fricken inches from your stretched out arm. If you rolled to your side just a hair you would be able to reach the lamp. I switched it off while she just laughed. So on the way out I turned on the overhead light to her room on. Revenge!
I used to keep lemonade in my beer fridge specifically so I could say "How about you have a can of lemonade? Oh, and get me a beer while you're there?"
Except then they wised up and just get their own damn lemonade and piss off.
I have similar stories. At home I would always yell for my sister to come and come up with some excuse so I could get her to do stuff. One time I yelled and told her to come here because I wanted to ask her/talk to her about something. I was in bed and was too lazy to get up close the door and turn off the lights so I called her, came up with a story off the top of my head, and then told her to turn off the lights and close the door on her way out.
noholds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the time my parents were watching TV on the sofa, shouted at me to come downstairs and when I appeared they just said "Can you change the channel for us please". I very nearly changed it to an online shopping channel.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Parents are just lazy SOBs. When I lived at home I had a basement bedroom. Right above it was the family room. So many times my parents would knock on my ceiling to get me to come upstairs so I could change the channel for them. They always found it hilarious.
Also it's not a mancave if vaginas are allowed in.
Back before widespread remote controls in every house, my dad used to constantly call me out of my bedroom to turn up the volume on the living room TV. I was usually reading, so this got annoying pretty quickly. One time he yelled and asked me to "turn it up just a hair." I held up a strand of my hair next to the volume knob and turned it just thaaaat much. He got a chuckle out of it and apparently decided that, for future volume adjustments, my brother would be a less smart-ass mobile remote control.
torro947 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can honestly tell you from experience as a child this may cause some resentment later down the line. I loathed the fact that my dad couldn't walk 15 feet to the kitchen to get his own soda.
haamfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
so THATS why people have children...
vallz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad did the same back in the days when I was young.
He would call the homephone from my parents bedroom and told me to come to their room. Once I arrived, he told me to close the closets, they were less than 5 meters away from him -_-'
And yes, this did not happen only once.
Wait, this is not a thing? I do this ALL the time with my kids. I text them from the family room couch (or wherever I am) to them while they are in their rooms. (or yell to them)
It does remind me of a story...One day when we were building our house, a woman stopped by and asked us if we were interested in getting an intercom system. We told her no and she says to us, "what, are you going to yell upstairs to your kids if you need them?" My husband and I looked at each other and said to her, "um, yes?"
I don't know why you're ashamed. Isn't that why people have kids?
Mazuna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This might be the most romantic story I've ever read.
awp235 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why else have kids!
krunnky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is this not the only reason people have children?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My parents, aunts, uncles, and a few more adults I wasn't related to did this all the time to me and my cousins. Didn't matter which kid and if they were yours or not. They'd call us down just to pass the remote over or open the blinds.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend used to do a similar thing with his little brother all the time.
My dad has, on several occasions, called me from his bedroom, asked me to come to his bedroom, then asked me to go downstairs to get him a soda. He was already in bed and comfortable and he didn't wanna get up.
This was my dad right here. He had a special whistle that meant we had a couple seconds to get there as fast as we could. 90% of the time it was to refill his glass.
a_harvey ยท 3034 points ยท Posted at 05:10:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had bbq sauce on my cheek at a restaurant. Rather than get up to grab a napkin, I used a piece of bread to wipe it off and then ate it. That's also the fattest thing I've done
Ikr, i hate when people use napkins when they could just lick their fingers or wipe a piece of bread on themselves, it's more efficient use of resources
The only major problem that I have is that my feet are in bad shape, just from years of use. Over the past three years, I have broken my left foot twice, and my right foot once. I did not fall, or anything like that. In all three cases, it was from standing for too long and leaning forward while sitting. This caused stress fractures, one of which I am just getting rid of now (I only wear the boot at work).
My organs have held up well (knock wood), and my blood sugar has never been over about 100. My cholesterol is fine, but I do have borderline hypertension.
One if my doctors is convinced that the reason that my labs are always good is that the test results are calculated using an algorithm that assumes that a person has X liters of blood. I undoubtedly have more, so this skews the results.
All that being said, my weight has precluded me from easy access to certain medical procedures. In May, I needed to get an MRI done, but the hospital could not accommodate me. I called every hospital in a 25 mile radius, to no avail. I finally had to go through the manufacturer of the MRI that could fit me to find a site. In case you were wondering, it was the Hitachi Oasis MRI machine. A month later, I found out that I was not eligible to get bariatric surgery at the hospital I have gone to all my life because I was too heavy. I need to get below 500 pounds to be eligible.
The sound off this, a million turkeys yelling it in my mind, made me laugh for a solid 5 minutes. Then I saw your username and laughed till I cried. Thank you!
I was referencing Freaks, but I do love The Ramones. My friends went to see White Zombie in the late nineties, and I went to the show because The Ramones were opening for them. My friends were disappointed with Whote Zombie, but they all liked The Ramones from then on out.
I did this once with spaghetti sauce. Brilliance if you ask me.
Katoska ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:00:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I was eating Oreos. Not just any Oreos though, these Oreos were special. You see, these Oreos were none other than the fuckmothering GOD OF ALL OREOS. I had pulled out about 5 to eat, and realized I needed to go to the bathroom. Rather than putting them back up, I took them down the hall in my dorms to the public restrooms. Some guy on my floor was washing his hands and saw me walk into the stall with my Oreos, and stood in front of the sink, just silently judging me. I sat there taking a shit, eating these coconut Oreos, thinking of how much of a fat fuck I am.
That's the fattest thing you've ever done? That's nothing.
Near where I live, there's a very large grocery store that is open all night. And in it, they've got a food court with an upstairs seating area that overlooks the food court. Well, my friends and I were hanging out and we were bored and hungry. This combination came together in such a fashion that night that it inspired perhaps the most ingenious, disgusting, fantastic, and fat activity devised by man.
So we went to White Castle and purchased ourselves a Crave Case. For those of you who have never been fat, a Crave Case is a box of 30 Sliders. We also got a few orders of fries because, hey, why not?
We returned to this large grocery store. We retrieved a prepackaged "Table Pong" (read as: beer pong) kit that they were selling. We set up the "table pong".
Here's where the line between brilliance and madness gets blurry. Instead of filling the cups with water or beer, we instead tore the sliders into halves and stuffed one half of each slider into the cups until all the cups were filled. This was only 10 sliders worth, though. Then we garnished these nasty slider cups with a few fries each.
We called this abomination "Slider Pong". The objective was the same as beer pong, except once you land the ball into one of these unholy grease goblets, someone on the opposing team has to eat the contents (ball not included).
Now, 5 sliders per team of two people? This may seem like nothing, but you have to remember: there is a lot of time that passes between each shot that is made, not to mention the time it takes to set up a new round. That gives the slider bits time to settle in your stomach, get nice and cozy, and make you feel like shit.
We were able to play three games with the amount of sliders we purchased, but by the end of the second game, nobody wanted to even play the third game. We all felt sick and tired and disgusting. Slider pong is worse than beer pong because you don't get drunk, but you still feel sick. And at the end of that night, we all decided for ourselves "Never again".
But we tried it again. That time, however, we barely got to the setup phase when a night manager saw us and said "You can't do that here". Maybe he thought we were going to play real beer pong, or maybe he just didn't want us making a mess. Whatever the case, that night manager saved my goddamned life.
So that's the fattest thing I've ever done. And if any of my friends who know about this end up reading this, hey, what's up.
my school has napkins in a package with the sporks, I didn't get one and I didn't feel like walking over so I just ate with the bread and "cleaned" my hands with the remaining bread
when i eat a sandwich with chips i just wipe off my chip fingers on the bread, it makes the bread tasty. Surprisingly, the bread works better than napkins
Nokarel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy; that's what the bread at BBQ places is designed for. You just helped it fulfill its purpose.
d4nc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
CF5300 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No shame in that, that's the best part! Bread was destined to be man's napkin in his time of need. Probably why it was served with BarBQ in the first place!
You know the smears you get on mcdonalds burger wraps? yeah, that's ketchup that missed the bun, we do the same thing with bottom bun to clean up excess ketchup off the wraps.
I dropped a meatball last night and it rolled down my shirt into my plate. I picked up the meatball with my fingers and then licked the sauce off of the black batman graphic on my shirt. Good as new!
Namtwen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a music festival and got BBQ sauce all over my hands. I didn't have a napkin or anything so I just rubbed it into my hands like lotion. My hands smelled wretched at the end of the day.
We were at McDonald's and my friend was eating a Big Mac with one hand and an ice cream cone with the other. He got some ice cream on his cheek and decided to wipe it off with his Big Mac. He kept eating.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's the fattest, but not the laziest. It's the same amount of work as grabbing a napkin!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i did this with Alfredo sauce at a restaurant...my mother and my grandmother were not impressed
mabramo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You don't waste bbq sauce. Especially Sweet Baby Rays.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my family, it is considered a sacred Italian tradition to use the inside of the Italian Bread to wipe your mouth with, and then eat it.
illyay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. I just did that with a chip today during lunch. My burrito got some sauce on my cheeck.
Tip: Invest in good waterproof eyeliner, setting powder and foundation (both facial and eye primer).
Prime face. Do foundation. Prime eyes. Do eye shadow. Do eye liner (consider adding primer under eye if you put eyeliner on your lower lid/water line). Powder to set. Make sure some gets over your eyes. AND THEN!!! This is key: Use a flat tipped brush of some sort to sweep some powder under your eye (and bottom eyeliner). This locks it in place.
How I know it works: make up looking miraculous and perfect even after crying during a fight with BF and sobbing while delivering a eulogy at my grandmother's funeral.
Personally, I use an eyeliner from Benefit, eye primer from Urban Decay (the potion looking one), and face junk from Bare Minerals (primer, foundation, warmth, and powder).
Lay_May ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:52:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time
I usually use a grey or light black eyeshadow Nd line my eyes with that, even if it's smudged, a qtip fixes it
And my eyeliner always seems to stay in place.
Super lazy female who also wants to look good
Disclaimer: I am single, completely possible I look awful in yesterday's makeup and refuse to admit it to myself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Primer potion for the base before eyeshadow. and blend out the eyeliner and maybe a smudge of concealer. You're ready in 15 secs.
The only way I know that promer potion last 18 hrs on my oily skin is because I went out, fell asleep on my back on the couch. Woke up and had to work a 10 hr shift where everyone complimented my makeup but had no clue I did it the night before and barely brushed my teeth in the car.
I'm not sure if I'm ashamed or not, but I do this every time I wear extensive makeup (aka more than just eyeliner). If it looks decent when I wake up the next day - it stays.
What kind of makeup are you people wearing that survives sleep? Hell, my powder doesn't last 3 hours and most of my eyeshadow is gone by the end of the day. It might have something to do with rubbing my face and eyes in exasperation 50 times a day, though.
ailish ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:34:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably people who don't really do powder. I just wear eye makeup, and it actually looks better the second day most of the time. Just wipe under the eyes to clear off the raccoon look, and good to go.
I'm doing something wrong, or wearing the wrong kind of eyeshadow. My mascara and eyeliner stay forever but the eyeshadow is pretty much gone by late afternoon.
ailish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:10:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you rub your eyes a lot? I don't wear anything in particular. I don't even get the same thing or brand every time but just whatever looks interesting, so it can't be that.
I do this ALL the time, though full makeup for me is mascara and some powder...little touch up and lick the fingers and swipe under the eyes to remove raccoon and good to go.
Welcome to everyday of my life. Today i put makeup on so i wouldn't have to do it at 8 in the morning when i have to go to work. (Played path of exile all damn day)
Being a mother to a toddler, I do this almost daily. Taking makeup off after running after a crazy kid is just too much work. I let the pillowcase wipe it off for me.
So... every Sunday? I'm not proud. I just can't seem to get it up to wash my face when I'm that drunk.
But I sleep on the floor to keep my pillows from getting dirty. There has to be a line somewhere.
Seaho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is me every Sunday.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Professional makeup to edgy. Two different looks with the same strokes! Nice.
J_Sto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nearly anyone who is on-camera talent and wears full eye makeup does this, esp. during press tours. Wash skin but don't touch eyes and just touch up the eyes etc. in the morning. Full eye makeup with individual lashes takes time and the glue lasts for days, and sometimes work over a few days is a rush.
I do this every other morning dude! I fall asleep with my makeup on, wake up, and take half a second to touch up the smudged eyeliner with a makeup remover pad, and then I'm good to go.
Mariske ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time. Also I somehow feel like it's a good way of getting every cent out of that $13 eyeliner pencil.
This was me my freshman year of high school. I applied mascara every two days. Apply it on Monday, eyelashes will still be partly black Tuesday morning.
Now I'm in college and I'm too lazy to ever apply makeup in the first place.
Retsek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: a dude on the day after a Halloween party
eal1127 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is me when I actually bother to wear makeup at all. Usually my mornings go something like "I could look like a human today... Or I could sleep for five minutes more." So I sleep for five minutes more. And then a really special day is when I also use a hair brush to put my hair up.
This is me everyday. I noticed that if I wash my face more then once a day I break out. So I usually don't wash it at night and then sometimes the make up looks pretty good the next day so I keep it on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My routine for far too many months was to crash at a friend's place after work, lectures the next day in uniform and old club makeup, drinks after lectures then buy some eyeliner on the way back to work to skank up the look a bit. The longest I went without washing my face was four days. I'm a fucking munter.
I did that on purpose when I forgot my makeup and had places to go the next day. Worst feeling ever is sleeping with full cream eyeshadow and eyeliner.
My girlfriend apparently puts her makeup on at night after her shower and before bed. Se just wakes up in the morning, gets dressed and leaves. I always thought that was a no-no but she pulls it off somehow.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kelly614 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this at least twice a week
ohmygod_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely can keep the makeup better if I fall asleep drunk. I don't move much.
EnvyAdams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
See, I literally cannot go to bed wearing makeup. Even when I'm drunk or dead tired I'll still go over my face with a makeup wipe but that still feels gross to me.
My regular nightly routine consists of removing my makeup with a makeup remover and then washing my face with face wash. Cannot have a trace of makeup.
slouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
today is Tuesday... I am still wearing Sunday's makeup
I used to do that on purpose, when I go home for the weekend I usually have to get up at around 6, so I'll do full makeup the night before so I don't have too when I get up.
I get exhausted enough to do this at least 3x a month. Foundation is completely rubbed off onto pillow, waterproof smudgeproof gel liner and mascara are worth their weight in gold. Slap on some tinted balm (and rub a little into your cheeks) and get on with your day
Did the same thing after prom, didn't even took contacts lenses out cause I knew I'd be sleeping like only 3 hours
Monagan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure you are aware of this but sleeping with your contacts in can cause problems with your eyes. Same goes for sleeping with your makeup on, to a lesser extent. It is not wise to do either.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:14:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bottles, not cans.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:05 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Worse.
juel1979 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's impressive.
When I ranked, I would end up with a pyramid of diet coke cans around my desk. Sunday before logging on was rinse and crush day. I should have had a sponsorship.
i was supposed to write a paper on a book. i didn't read it and i based my essay on what the previous owner had underlined.
thefoxsay ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:57:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did a similar thing...except I based it off of the amazon reviews...
This was my opening paragraph:
Like most books, this book has words, sentences, punctuation and even paragraphs. Right off of the bat, this doesnโt look good for the book (in my book, pun intended, at least). I am not an avid reader. Most books start out way too slow. I like to get in and get out. Feed me the information, regurgitate it first if necessary, and I will process it in my own way. Never mind my potential bias in this review, letโs press on!
I'm taking a college course right now where I'm supposed to read all these classic novels and write papers on them. I haven't read a single on. Instead I go on sparknotes and read the summaries. I've gotten a B on every paper I've written so far.
Fan death is death supposedly caused by sleeping in a closed room containing a running electric fan. There are no verified cases of the alleged phenomenon, but it remains a widely believed urban legend in South Korea. Wikipedia
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:29:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's how it's spelled in, umm, Canada... Yes, Canada. Please believe me. :(
Treypyro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:51:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was throwing up sick for like 3 weeks, had to go see a doctor and everything, never bothered to tell anyone in my family purely out of laziness and apathy. I told my roommates that if I needed anything I would ask but otherwise I would just get over it.
Nah. People his age were born a month and a half before him. So he's that much younger.
Tofabyk ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:02:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, Peple his age (same birthday) were conceived a month and a half after him. So his body is that much older.
cpt_sbx ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:04:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There are 2 ways to look at it.
1.) he is older than people with the same birthday because he was conceived earlier.
2.) he is younger than people conceived at the same time because he was born later.
WisDumbb ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:32:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Two ways to look at it.
1) My mind is spinning trying to grasp this.
2) Trying to grasp this makes my head spin.
ohmygod_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:13:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
All of you shut up and give me some candy.
EDIT: This is a hold up.
XenoD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
well, hes been alive for longer than they have, "age" is usually relevant as to when you were born, not when you started living, as a foetus, so he's biologically 1,5 months older
Stelfury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:22:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's going to be older and younger than people of his age considering thats a whole year. The people who were born the same day as him, he'll be older than the majority as he was a month and a half late.
I was born a month late, and I got to be too long. The bone structure of my legs is off because of it, since they had to grow in weird positions in order to fit inside the womb. Now I have lasting leg problems that have required surgery and cause me a lot of pain and difficulty walking.
svmk1987 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:22:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom often says that the only time I was early was when I was born two days in advance.
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 09:04:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your dad isn't your real dad.
Shaysdays ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 07:40:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My son was a week overdue and they induced labor, either your mom's doctor sucked at math or was damn irresponsible.
evilbrent ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 09:05:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, there's something screwy here. I'm guessing that they fucked up the due date, or calculated it from a guess of the conception date and got it wrong.
Ten days after the due date the placenta starts to degrade. 15 days after and the placenta is basically useless.
No-one is 45 days late and lives.
eketros ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:53:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There are recorded cases of pregnancies being very overdue. They don't really happen anymore because doctors will induce because it is dangerous, as you say -- the placenta can degrade, and the baby can be stillborn. But that doesn't mean it always degrades. If OP was born a long time ago, or if the mother was having the baby outside of the normal healthcare system, then it is possible.
madjic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Evolution has gone to an awful lot of trouble with placental mammals to devote a significant proportion of a female's life to gestating younglings. For every mammal there's a distinct sweet spot of gestational period - not long enough and the baby/calf/foal isn't well enough developed, too long and too many resources are required of the mother. And basically this length is set at a time period where if it were any longer it would significantly reduce the mother's survival chances (statistically) - the child's life is paramount. In humans, the child is born helpless, so the mother needs to be able to feed and care for and carry the baby around, so the mother needs to not die, but only just.
Pregnancies go for a specific period, and then they stop. The body calls off the pregnancy. It stops all the being-pregnant hormones. If the pregnancy has ended in a labour at this stage then the mother's body says to it "Ok, that's enough, I need my resources back now." and it turns off the tap. The fetus surviving in the mother's belly would not help the mother.
And remember, this isn't some mechanism that was developed just in humans. It's a pattern that developed over millions of years in the early placental mammals, and which winning formula carried through into every mammal alive today. Pregnancy too short: baby not survive enough. Pregnancy too long: mother not survive enough.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't make up medical "facts" and pass them off as the truth, thanks.
bestwhit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:39:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Past term, the placenta involutes, and multiple infarcts and villous degeneration cause placental insufficiency syndrome. In this syndrome, the fetus receives inadequate nutrients from the mother, resulting in soft-tissue wasting
The placenta, which supplies babies with the nutrients and oxygen from the mother's circulation, begins to age toward the end of pregnancy, and may not function as efficiently as before.
If your pregnancy has gone beyond term you will be carefully monitored for signs of possible placental deterioration. The job of the placenta is to supply your baby with enough nutrients and oxygen for his needs. In the later weeks of pregnancy, however, changes in the placenta (calcium deposits on the walls of the small blood vessels and protein deposits on the placental surface) can limit blood flow through the placenta, making it progressively inefficient. Occasionally, the placenta fails to nourish and support the baby adequately - placental insufficiency. If this happens you will be advised to have your labour induced.
Post-maturity can result in some complications and most obstetricians and midwives advise that your baby should be delivered no later than 42 weeks.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:11:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the info. The "10 days" and "15 days" past your due date though isn't factual.
bestwhit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I had some trouble finding serious scientific articles (probably because it sends me back to my days in Nam college writing my thesis) but the point still rests that basically overterm pregnancies are pretty dangerous and one of the reasons is due to placental insufficiency.
evilbrent ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're a special kind of stupid aren't you?
No there isn't a single day when it busts. But there is a period where the incidence of fetal distress and risk of death become too high.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. Keep being a pretentious asshole, it's gotten you this far in life!
Oh my god. You're like my dad. Just because it's SOMETIMES relevant to reply with "Oh really? Show me the evidence.", doesn't mean that it isn't USUALLY relevant to reply with "Oh really? Well you learn something every day."
Without a doubt, you're the one being the asshole here. Everyone else that's responded to me here has done so politely.
My sister and I were both 3 weeks late and born via Cesarean. I had no idea the placenta became useless at 15 days. I'm now starting to wonder if they might have gotten our due dates wrong. I just always assumed my family like a little extra gestation.
Not an exact number. And maybe useless is a misleading word. But they really don't like to do it. Placenta degradation happens differently in every case but does accelerate.
Sure, there's going to be some variability around that number, but it's still 6 days between 15 and 21 days, so I assume the placenta was somewhat damaged by my birth. I wonder if there were any deficits as a result of that.
unlikely. You're already 'baked' by that point, possibly overcooked, but no reason to expect you're in danger. I'm using my medical skills as an engineer by profession to guess that oxygen deprivation could be a risk at the end of the day. My understanding is that it's risk of fetal distress - that when the labour DOES happen then the baby doesn't have enough oxygen for the procedure and could come out blue. And that is a scary proposition. (My kid was blue when they came out but the dr fixed him up in no time. lf it hadn't been in a c-section then my son would have probably not made it.)
Wowza, glad you both made it through alright. I was breech and late, as well as being second born at a time when VBAC was uncommon, so I was definitely a c-section.
13374L ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:10:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Due date is calculated from the last menstruation, not conception.
I was 16 days late, and the doctors were very concerned... they had been trying to get my mom to give birth for two days before they went with a C-section.
I know a woman who carried all of her (5) babies to 44 weeks. Her Doctor said it was unusual but normal for her. Her mother also carried all of her babies past term.
To try and clear up the arguments it was both me being overdue and a doctors screw up. I was expected about two and a half weeks early. I went past that date by the month and a half but it was more like three weeks late if compared to the average.
Msktb ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:40:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your poor mom. My mom was pregnant with me for 10 months.
Dakrys ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:44:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your mother is lying to you. That's not physically possible. I was born Cesarean after 14 days. And I was basically dying in the womb. I might have become septic or something, I can't remember.
Three times that long? Your mother cheated and the late birth is an excuse for your father.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:47:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I heard (from a movie, so I'm sure it's true) that the longer the baby is in there the smarter they end up being. Anything noteable about you other than your cookie?
Once I lit my hand on fire to give someone an awesome high five. Didn't burn badly because we used some kind of alcohol but probably wasn't that smart anyway.
Three weeks for me. Oddly enough, I've been about 5 minutes late for just about everything since. I keep saying I'm going to have people hold my funeral up ten minutes so I can catch up with myself.
Zevorrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was in labor with me for three days, and even then I didn't decide to come out until they were prepping her for a c-section.
noc007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Supposedly a month late myself. I say "supposedly" because my mom is a liar and a narcissist (/r/raisedbynarcissists). Hopefully your mom doesn't hang it over your head like mine does.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was quite displeased when I found out the xbox slim has to have an actual finger touch it to turn it on and off like a smartphone screen. You mean I have to get up out of bed and walk (literally) 2 feet? Fuck that it stays on forever
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing. I would rather walk to the basement where my clothes hang next to the washer to get something to wear everyday, than take my clean laundry upstairs to my closet.
MannR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
good thing now you only have to say xbox on
eeeebbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:28 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last semester I went to class Monday - Thursday. I had yoga class Tuesday and Thursday, which gave me an excuse to wear yoga pants all day on those days.
By the end of the semester, I was wearing them every day, disregarding my jeans completely on Monday and Wednesday. It got to the point where I would sleep in them, roll out of bed, throw on a bra and t-shirt, and call it good.
Every day.
EDIT: Yes I washed them. I alternated pants during the weekend.
And to the guys saying "thank you," flattering, but I'm not much to look at. Or rather, there's a little extra to look at. Not obese, but I have a serious muffin toppage.
AuraEllis ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 11:16:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to turn up the heat in my apartment so I just sleep in leggings and a hoodie.
In the morning I roll out of bed and step into a strapless bra or tie a bikini top on. This way I don't have to take the hoodie off, only lift it up because I don't have to get my arms through a real bra.
There are always a few bikini top/strapless bra choices balled up at the end of my bed keeping my feet warm because I'm too lazy to wear socks in the tundra masquerading as an apartment where I live.
I'm really growing in grad school
indiecore ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 13:57:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a thing where I need it to be cold outside my bed but warm inside. I have left the window open when it was -30 C and a whiteout blizzard so I could play arctic explorer under like 50 blankets and in a hoodie and PJs.
I'm pretty sure my landlord hates me.
ohmygod_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:28:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Arctic Explorer! My favorite bedtime game since childhood. Meet left foot and right foot, my valiant and brave explorers. They have faced the worst of it.
Jekerdud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I did that, my roommates would hate me. My room has the thermostat, so if it's cold, the furnace is always running. It would be super hot outside my room, and very cold inside.
They hate me enough as it is, I like a cool room, and I have all my vents covered just to keep it cool in there.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:51:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AuraEllis ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:03:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god no. I go to a top 100 law school and all and it was fun to see everyone try hard and dress in business casual and sloooowwwly descend into first just button ups and jeans then leggings and long tops and now it's finals so zero fucks are given. This girl wore a hooded onesie yesterday. Imma befriend her, together we can reach new lows.
This is pretty much me, except I don't even bother with the bra. My hoodie is big enough where it doesn't make any VISUAL difference, yet when I'm alone I still get the added perk of easily bouncy and caressing my fun bags.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:00:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:42:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wear the same jeans and sweatshirt everyday just because it's much more comfortable and easier than looking normal and choosing different clothes everyday.
I do that with my work pants every day. Wear em till they're dirty! Only problem is the having to slip em off for a minute to change underwear.
Potential solution: No underwear.
That's kind of how I went through high school, but the opposite. Whatever shirt I wore to bed, I wore to school. I'd slide a bra on and then pick up whatever jeans I'd taken off the night before and left beside my bed. Shirts got changed every day- except for the flannels. Jeans were probably worn for 3 or 4 days before I'd get a new pair out.
I'm short so I've never been able to let my jeans go that long. The hems are usually dirty as hell, especially in HS when there was snow and mud everywhere :(
That sounded hot until you admitted to not showering all week.
Edit: Downvote me if you want. There's nothing hot about sleeping in your clothes and wearing them the next day for an entire week. I'm not saying I haven't worn the same clothes two days in a row, but I can certainly admit that I was not attractive when I did it.
sunkzero ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:21:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She did shower, it's also how the yoga pants got laundered.
Save empty water bottles -> fill them with whatever beverage you want -> poke a small hole in the cap -> put cap back on. You now have a dish-free, spill-free, worry-free adult baby bottle that you can drink laying down.
Real Men of Genius! Mister Worry-free Adult Baby Bottle Inventor!
MrsBurp ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:25:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mum had my baby bottles packed away for a few years, I ended up getting them out at age 6-7 and drinking everything out of them so I could lie down and drink. My mum thought there was something seriously wrong with my development and chucked them all out.
lex917 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My 15 year old sister does this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, new hero.
rofosho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have figured out how to drink out of poland spring bottles while laying down already but this is a good idea too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HOW
rofosho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can control the flow of liquids since when you turn a bottle upside down entirely, it forms a vacuum kinda with your lips. WHen you lay down in bed, turn your head sideways and stick your lips (closed) on the mouth of the bottle. Than turn your head so you're staring up and slowly purse your lips so you get some liquid in but not too much where you drown. When you're done drinking, purse your lips again, turn head and tilt bottle away.
That's a really shitty tutorial but I'm unsure how to really explain it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just tried this, it works. Wow now I never have to sit up again, I can just roll to one side and groggily (read: drunkenly) imbibe. How could I not figure this out.
rofosho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yay!! The funny thing is I never found it being lazy, I was just thirsty and tired from sports practice when I was younger when I figured it out. Never knew it was weird til college.
[deleted] ยท 541 points ยท Posted at 03:45:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TThorne49 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:15:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think that someone comes by your car sees the towel and thinks "well if it's covered by a towel it must be something valuable he doesn't want me to see" the. Breaking in to your car to lift the towel to find your litter
Nice. Do you do this with only bottles? I feel like as messy as bottles get, it's not that bad. But when it's a mix of bottles, paper, coffee cups, it starts just looking terrible. Overall, I just recommend cleaning it out.
It starts as bottles, and then I use them to create little spots to nestle less sealed items (like you have listed) in 'safe' positions so they don't tip over. I just ride alone, usually. It's pretty cool.
I used to do this too. What I do now is to dump all of that shit into the garbage can at the gas station while my car is filling up. I clean for as long as the gas is flowing. You can get a lot done in 2 minutes.
graviga ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:05:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would be too lazy to pick up the towel and put the garbage under it.
tHeSiD ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:12:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this too but I just cleaned all that up when I was at a gas station. Better use of the time while filling gas. And also the trash cans were right there beside you.
Quillava ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But its so much more comfortable to sit with the door open while the gas pumps.
I'm a delivery driver for a pizza place. All the little run slips plus eating/drinking I do while at work ends up becoming habit to end up in my floor board. It literally gets the point where it just fills up my entire passenger seat area, then I finally clean it out.
I used to deliver pizza. My car was like this, too.. would use a pizza bag and place it on top of it all the stuff in front of the passenger seat. I got robbed in December last year and they emptied my car of all the trash while looking for shit to take.. took my money and phone, too, but thanks for cleaning my car!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cable guy checking in. Despite how many times a day I'm parked right next to a dumpster after having worked on the utility pole my passenger floor and seat of my truck is a mess of bottles, wrappers and cable bits.
In fact the other day I opened up to door to get a tool that had fallen in the pile and the mess poured out onto the alley as if trying to throw away itself. Instead of picking it up and chucking the mess in the dumpster 2 feet away, I crammed it back in my truck.
I do the same thing... hahaha I've found that one of those grocery bags fits perfectly over my shifter, and its easier to throw the shit in there tie it and throw the whole bag away than to spend time picking up the shredded receipts and stuff.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Omg yes. My car is disgusting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have piles of CDs on my passenger seat but I don't feel like sorting them or putting them away and I also don't want to look like a slob so I just throw a sweater over them :p
Varyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just loop a plastic bag around your gearstick so it hangs off the passenger side. Easy removal, easy replacement.
SeckTor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How have I never thought of the towel before?
That aside, you described my passenger seat perfectly.
I put my papers like receipts, straw covers, stamp cards and the like in one cup holder. Someone who always has coffee with them was riding with me. I tossed the stuff into my center console. He ended up trying to get a cable out of there and called it a "hamsters nest." I was so ashamed.
I had a dream last night that someone broke into my car and stole everything, including all the trash. I was really sad about it. I think I've developed an unhealthy connection to my car refuse.
I used to do this all the time. It was bad at first, and then I started delivering pizza, and it went too far.
One night, I almost set my car on fire. It was around twilight, and I was making my way back from a delivery run, doing my usual - windows down, music up, chain-smoking as I drove. At the time, I was rolling my own cigarettes, and as anyone who has smoked unfiltered knows they can get kind of flimsy in that last inch or so, without the filter as a base. As I stopped at a light, a gust of wind slapped the cigarette out of my hand, right into the gap between the seat and the console.
Fuck fuck fuck, gotta get this before the light turns... My hands didn't fit into that space well, but i just barely managed to flick it out into the space in front of my seat and stomp it out among the pile of receipts and napkins and packets of pepper and parmesan before red turned green. Crisis averted, I turned onto the city's main thoroughfare, the final stretch home.
If you're familiar with downtown Austin, TX, you might know the madness that is Guadalupe. Literally the border to the UT Austin campus, and a major shopping area, and one of the busiest streets in the city. The side opposite campus is bordered with bike lanes, with parking spots beyond that. In the evenings especially, drivers are dodging students, bums, cyclists, and cars trying to pull into or out of tiny parking spaces - all convinced that traffic actually moving down the street will somehow, I don't know, phase through them or something instead of colliding.
The attentive driver I am, I was focused on all these hazards, and not so much on the faint smoke wafting up from underfoot. That is, until wafting became billowing from the aforementioned pile of paper trash. Feeling like John Candy and Steve Martin at the same time, I set about frantically stomping everything with both feet while desperately trying to keep some of my attention on the dozens of things I was about to run into.
Somehow I managed to suffocate the smoldering before it became (as far as I could see) flames, and I pulled into the parking lot at the store and cleaned out my car. I decided to keep it that way. It was not easy, but I finally hit on something that worked. For me, anyway, perhaps it will work for you. The new car may help, because it is a new setting and seeing it full of trash isn't yet a familiar sight.
After failing to maintain a trash bag (it kept overfilling) or a regular cleaning schedule (it was too easy to put off something I only did once a week) I started just taking any trash with me, every single time I left the car. It's a huge pain in the ass at first, and you will often forget at first, but the point is to never let yourself get away with leaving the garbage in the car if you notice it. Don't ever start making excuses! Perhaps in life-and-death situations is okay. Maybe.
The point is to build a routine, it's the foundation of any good habit. I made myself habitually check for trash before getting out of the car - keys, phone, trash - and now it's second nature; I don't even think about it.
It also helps if you minimize the amount and spread of what trash you put in your car in the first place. I quit smoking, that cut down significantly; I quit delivering pizza, and the difference was drastic. If you open food, put all the packaging together - this is especially simple with fast food, but I see so many people who just toss the wrapper in the seat next to the bag, and leave empty cups in the cup holders. Simply put, if the trash is all in one place, you have less excuse not to gather it when you get out.
Wasn't planning on writing a book but if you seriously want to keep your new car clean, I hope this helps.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be guilty of this too; started hanging a gas station snack bag around the shifter. Still get the benefit of being lazy and shoving trash next to you with the illusion of you being a responsible, tidy person. Although, I have found myself using larger and larger plastic bags...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Try keeping a small bag in your car to put trash in and just replace it when it gets full. That helped my dirty car problem.
juel1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least you cover it. My husband's car often becomes a sad repository for Cook Out containers, McD's bags, empty cigarette packs, and soda/water bottles. It's pretty bad sometimes. Luckily we've been too broke for him to drive. His car is pretty clean for a change.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Buy a box of small garbage bags and leave them in the car. Throw the trash in a bag and when you fill up for gas, throw the bag in the waste container.
I do the same thing but the worst is if you plow, that entire side becomes nothing but wrappers and red bull cans. Unfortunately I kept the habit and do it everyday, even in the new truck I bought. ..
I put an open trash bag on my passenger floor cause I'm apparently too lazy to drop trash in the shopping bag hanging behind the passenger seat.
It's only marginally effective as I miss sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ok easy fix.. plastic shopping bag hooked onto something in the car (stuck into the glovebox, on the gear shift, pinned to the back of the passenger seat). Then fill the bag... keep extras in the glove box and tada, towel is back to former use and new car stays clean and you're only being slightly less lazy. Source: I've been doing this for the past two years in my new fiesta and it works perfectly!
Just don't forget that eventually you will have to toss the trash filled tied off bags that accumulate in the back seat...
Oh god, this is me. I still haven't unpacked my car from my camping trip I went on two months ago. Also every time I finish drinking something while driving, I simply throw the empty bottle/can over my shoulder into the back seat.
zakool21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My game is stuffing the door pockets/trays as full as they can get and not have stuff popping out. Only when things start falling onto the floor do I go empty it to the trash.
or a little lower if the stars aligned and I'm dating someone.
I wonder why....
I recently got a new car, so I'm really planning to not start doing that again.
Cheers!
0311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have this problem too unless I regularly stop by dumpsters to clean out.
brian21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just stuff some empty bags behind the front seats in those pockets, then use those for trash. When they fill up and you're pumping gas or something, throw them out and grab another one.
Make it a rule to empty the trash every time you get gas. Thats my rule. Trash can is always right there next to the car and can do it while the pump is clicked to auto pump.
this was my corolla from 16 - 22. I would cruise every so often to a random shitty neighbourhood, open the passenger door, and use my window scraper like a shovel to just throw all that shit out the door. It's recycling though because poor people use garbage to make miracles.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:02:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
juel1979 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:45:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We had a door in our old above garage apartment that went to nowhere (top floor, no balcony). We called it the suicide door. I'm sure my husband has peed out the suicide door at least once. If I were properly equipped, I know I would have at least once just to say I did.
ico2ico2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:47:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once pissed in a pot-plant for the same reason. I now have a chamberpot and it's awesome.
blarkul ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:47:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to piss in the sink at night while the bathroom was just 10 feet further away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing the window didn't slam shut again.
gpinks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I cannot remember the amount of times I've done this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing wrong with this. Why waste water flushing the toilet, its just pee.
[deleted] ยท 1207 points ยท Posted at 04:35:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted a sandwich, so i tied a note around my iguanas neck and had him walk over to my gf to make me one, realizing he couldn't bring it back, didn't think that one through
foxcake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Always a bad idea. The vertical ridges in it scrape.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not the only one.
Dakrys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have absolutely done this. I even had more toilet paper just out of arm's reach. But I pooped completely without regarding the TP situation. There was zero.
I ended up using my knife to make evenly sized pieces of cardboard to scrape the nonsense off of me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not laziness, it's efficiency.
NITEM4N ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just use stuff from the garbage can to finish wiping with.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I just stop wiping...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've contemplated that so many times
Sefilis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or rip the "acknowledgements" page out of the book I was reading because I had run out of toilet paper and wasn't completely satisfied. Clutched it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:58 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was a month when I didn't feel like buying TP, so I only pooped immediately before showering.
Amp3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:19 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had to do that last week at a friends place. Couldn't be bothered to yell about needing a roll so used the cardboard. Wasn't that bad really to be honest
paraon ยท 1113 points ยท Posted at 01:54:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
had three weeks to do a simple project, started doing it 2 hours before due.
[deleted] ยท 761 points ยท Posted at 02:48:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I procrastinated so badly on a project that I did it entirely on my smartphone the day it was due in the breaks between periods. I emailed it to myself, printed it out in the library, except for one problem. It was on legal paper. Thank god I'm an art major so I could scribble out a decent cover page and look creative, and had access to a paper cutter.
[deleted] ยท 405 points ยท Posted at 03:45:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
bretzel_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:18:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bravo.
wwahwah ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:55:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once when I was in school I had three weeks to do a powerpoint for a shitty subject. When I was forced up to present, I turned off the projector, googled a powerpoint on the topic, opened the first link and presented that.
Got full marks.
HansCool ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:33:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that's some ferris bueller-level problem solving
moonluck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Troooop ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:12:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yea... It's 1:11 am and I'm supposed to be working on an essay. I've done 1.5 pages, and supposed to be 5 pages long. We've had this assignment for weeks....
tfw13579 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:23:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I have a 10 minute speech due Wednesday morning for my oral comm class that I haven't started. I decided to sleep all day after class instead of do it today. Probably won't do it until Wednesday morning before its due. I haven't even chosen a topic yet.
sam_cr0w ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:46:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Procrastination is a lot like masturbation. It feels good at first, but in the end, you're just fucking yourself.
I still win on this one. I had all of christmas break to get a project done for history (it was about the calender and it's orgins) and the day the project was due, I walk up to the front of the class, pulled out my phone and read, straight off the internet. Got a solid 9/10 on it and was very satisfied at my laziness
1chadam1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:45:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ignored a stupid 'wellness' paper and literally did the same! I typed it in my ipod whle holding it on my textbook while pretending to listen then emailed it to myself and left class early to print it out.
wickz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:15:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank god I'm an art major
Don't think I've ever heard anyone say that until now
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I've ever heard "thank god I'm an art major"
Grahand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a project that was worth a quarter of my upper division AI course's final grade. Procrastinated it until half an hour after it was due, and then submitted as many of the short-answer questions as I could guess without doing the actual programming. Somehow still got a D.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I procrastinate on my art projects from time to time. I think I'm to the point where I can bullshit my way through any project. I keep getting B's so I must be doing something right.
Gelliman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a bio class that had the lecture portion 1 hour before the lab portion. I realized I had a presentation to do in the lab that day, as I entered the lecture portion. Took out the laptop and built the powerpoint, while taking notes in the lecture. Presented about 5 minutes after I actually finished the powerpoint and got an A.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I still haven't finished middle school at 19 because I kept procrastinating doing my 8th grade work playing games and shit. You may say I have pretty shitty parents, but they're busy and they don't care as much because I'm making tons of money online doing my own thing. They did try to remind me every single day and threaten me with public school every day, but never followed through.
I really am lucky though because I became a video game developer directly do to this, instead of doing school work 90% of which I will never use in life, I learned coding and game design and such so I don't have to work in retail for 10 years of my life.
Troooop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh lord this is me too. I've got a 7th period dedicated to online classes, but I do NADA in there, except do a two minute glance and take a quiz every once in a while.
I've never passed a hybrid course in six years of college. I'm too lazy to log on. I'm taking one now in my final semester.
And it's a redundant credit...
Yeah, you're not gonna get that done. Might as well start studying for next year.
But you got nothin' on me. I still haven't finished middle school at 19 because I kept procrastinating doing my 8th grade work playing games and shit. You may say I have pretty shitty parents, but they're busy and they don't care as much because I'm making tons of money online doing my own thing. They did try to remind me every single day and threaten me with public school every day, but never followed through.
I really am lucky though because I became a video game developer directly do to this, instead of doing school work 90% of which I will never use in life, I learned coding and game design and such so I don't have to work in retail for 10 years of my life.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:28:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wtf its 230 AM, I have a paper due at 830 tomorrow, I still have 4 pages to write, and yet I'm redditing and playing LoL.
Knew someone in High School who tried to do this and ended up with a crap ton of cut out pieces of paper and an empty poster board. He got a 0% on a grade that was at least 10% of our final average.
haha! I was always afraid of getting a bad grade on projects, so I worked super hard on them. When they were due, a lot of the people who pulled it out of nowhere the night before got an A... and I was like wtf.
When I was in 7th grade we were supposed to complete our science projects over Christmas break. I never even started one, so I made up an experiment and fabricated all of the data the weekend before we went back to class.
A few days later our projects had been graded, and a lot of my friends were lamenting their terrible scores. Expecting the worse, I found my display board amongst the rest. 97%, solid A. I was pleased.
When I was in high school we had a science project that had each student create any type of vehicle. The vehicle could only be powered by a small fan which did not have to be attached to the vehicle. The vehicles would be raced and the winner would get an auto A on the project. We had a month. My idea was to take two balloons and tie them together. Took me one full minute to put together and since my "vehicle" was the lightest it was also the fastest. It won and I got an A.
When I, and surely all of Reddit were in school, we did this every day.
tearr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a entire university course that was just a single assignment as the exam. We had the entire semester to do the assignment.
I showed up in one and a half class. Then did the entire assignment in 72 hours with 1.5 hours sleep, divided into three half hour power naps. I was sure I was gonna fail. I got a C (above average), not the best grade I've gotten, but the one I'm most proud of.
Reminds me of an econ class I took my first semester of college. It met 3 times a week, for 12 weeks. Judging by the scribbles in my notebook, I had attended that class 8 times. Didn't turn in any of the work and missed the mid-term. Literally my only credit in the class was the final. Passed with a C. God bless grading on a curve.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's me everyday.
Here are my blocks -
1- Math
2-Comp Networking
3-Engineering and Design
4-English / History
Math is packed, so I have no time to do homework there. I do my math homework on the 20 minute ride to school. There is no networking homework, so no worries about that. I do my Engineering homework in 2nd block during Networking. Then during Engineering and my lunch break, I do my ELA / History homework in the library (during lunch) or during class.
As for projects, they require me to work at home, and I start my homework at 12 so every time we have a project due I get little to no sleep. I actually do about 50% of my project at home the night before and finish the rest during easy blocks or during lunch. Right now I have to read 120 more pages before 4th block tomorrow and I'm debating wether I could manage to do 50/50 at home then at school. But like you, I always wait until the night before to do a 2-month project.
I've been doing this for a very long time and it works out great. I get to relax all day at home, but the trade-off is that I'm always stressed and in a hurry at school. So far I've never turned in an assignment late.
I remember once in high school I actually did an assignment early and thought, "Wow, this is so relaxing not having to worry about rushing at the last minute!" You would think I would have learned from that lesson and continued that trend going forward. Nope.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's every assignment for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't this everyone?
Treypyro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think we would be good friends. I usually did my homework that was due that day when I walked into the class it was due in. This worked fantastically for classes that graded at the end of the class. But I never bothered to change my system for classes that graded at the beginning of class. I still got nearly straight A's in school, only 2 B's and 1 C for semester grades in high school.
I once had a group project with like 6 other people, we had to diagram microbial life or some shit, well 2 months go by, I did 0 work, they all tried their hearts out it was glorious, we go to turn it in, teacher died of a heart attack the day before and the project was scrubbed.
Imagine if I did all that work? fuck that would be depressing as shit.
I have a concert review due two days ago for a music class. I'll probably type it up today and send it in. My professor likes me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
heh, in high school in aus basically all of our university entrance score is based off of our final year of highschool, i was pretty buddy-buddy with our graphics teacher so he let me basically push off my 3 major grading assignments for as long as i wanted. ended up doing all three in the last week of school, slept probably 3-4 hours a night for that week i think.
I once had half a semester to do a simple project, never even started it. Failed the class and had to makd it up in 8 classes that were 3 hours long. The teacher pretty much did my project for me.
I had a physics lab class where i had all 4 months to do 3 lab reports and that was the whole class- I didn't start working on my reports until 2 days before the end of the semester.
sqinny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In junior year of highschool, our school did a big deal research paper as a whole prepare for college thing. As a result, it was worth like 25 percent of our grade. We worked ob it for almost 3 months, going to the library twice a week as part of the class, with times we were supposed to have different sections completed. So at 4pm the day before it was due, I got home and started my research. At 6:30AM, 15 sources and 9 pages later, I submitted it to the website and started getting ready for school. I got an A- , and it is quite possibly my proudest moment.
I think I worked on a paper before the day it was due exactly twice. Today I attended my last class to graduate. Worked out okay for me, but I still kind of wish I had learned a proper work ethic at some point.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had two months to do a project in an 8th grade history class win which you used every letter of the alphabet to some history term. I procrastinated until the very end and never did it. The day it was due I was talking to my brother right before we left the house to go to school. He's 3 years older and had the same teacher. He doesn't normally do his work, but I said "man I have that alphabet project due today and I didn't due it. Oh well." He rushed down to his room and from under the dirty-ass depths from his bed he pulled out the alphabet project from when he did it. I made a new cover page with my name on it instead and got a 97%. That's when I knew I had a true brother.
Love you Patrick.
Ray-Bob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had decided my senior year of high school that I was just NOT going to do a research paper. We had 4 months to work on it and about 2 months in someone told me that you had to do one to one to graduate. It was due on a Wednesday and we didn't have class Thursday or Friday. I called myself in sick that Wednesday. Still didn't start it until Sunday in church. (Insert lazy college senior) Rough draft, final draft
P.S. I'm in bed, on mobile, didn't want to get my computer to find the meme, it's less than arms reach away
Or just not do it and wait for easy extra credit opportunities.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone has done this so it becomes average and not lazy, lazy would be doing it when you have to hand it in or something idk penis yolo
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did that once, got a 19 out of 20, it was a group project, I did it on my own, the only reason I didn't get a 20 is because I was also supposed to be graded on how I interacted with the group, there was no group.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've had the whole semester to do this paper analyzing the economical conjuncture of Brazil in the past 10 years. It's due Friday. The only thing I have is the cover page.
I've had literally eight months to finish my previous semester of classes (which I missed due to an extended hospital stay). I didn't start any of the work until last Tuesday. My deadline is next Thursday.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did my science project on the bus to my 1st period science class. I also used to do my homework during lunch the period before it was due.
I wrote a 12 page short story the day before it was due, finished it during lunch the period before it was due, and still got 5 points added because it was the best the teacher had read in a long time.
Don't Blink. Don't cough. Don't even sneeze. Sneeze and your pants are dead. It will be fast. Faster than you can believe. Don't bend over, don't cough and Don't. Fart. Good luck.
rofosho ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:21:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a health major, I recommend don't do that. It can really mess you up.
Not pooping really fucks up people.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:52:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:23 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck no. It's just the best way to end up being constipated.
marteney1 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:02:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Better yet, invite her over to get the remote off the coffee table for you so she can sit on the couch 2 feet away and watch Netflix with you. Knock out 2 birds with one stone
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, at least he won't be watching on his phone anymore.
Kiassen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:58:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Invite her over to watch movies in her pajamas! You don't even have to get dressed. Just order pizza.
Too true. Depression makes you want to skip things you know you will enjoy and you know you'll feel worse for skipping. But depression doesn't care and neither do you.
sylviad ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 09:41:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Depression isn't lazy, it's being transfixed and paralyzed simultaneously by the futility of existence and wonder of being alive. It's not that we don't know, it's that it's just... too much.
I've had a severe just lack of motivation these past few years of university and gone from 90s in high school to just barely passing courses, wonder if it's depression or just laziness, I can't be depressed tho, I don't skip things that I know will make me happy.
ChuckS117 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:33:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I skip it sometimes. The times I dont, I still want to, even though Im having fun doing whatever it is Im doing. Maybe just a tiny small droplet of depression from dropping out of college twice and lying to my parents about it, I suppose.
ohmygod_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get it checked out anyway. I failed out after scraping by for three years. I am on meds [not that you need meds] now 4 years later and it kills me thinking I let myself suffer for so long.
I have ADHD too but i wouldn't say things aren't ever exciting for me. Sometimes they are and then again, sometimes they aren't. For me, it's more to do with the utter lack of ability to pay attention and absorb new information.
Someone on the internet commented and said I'm depressed! I will now tell all my friends I am a diagnosed depressed individual! Man being depressed sucks so much :3
I'm not running and yelling it through the streets. I've been wondering why I've been feeling the way OP described for quite some time and it's pretty debilitating. Just sparked the fact that maybe I should look into it more.
Kryt0s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I guess I am too -.-
shane727 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The scary thing is you don't know you are till you look at it from that perspective.
I eat really healthy, tons of fruits and veggies, meat, basically no processed food whatsoever, I drink a ton of water.
I go to the gym every other day and ride my bike all the time.
I sleep 6-8 hours of quality sleep every night.
I still feel groggy, foggy, irritable, have basically no motivation to do anything or better myself other than the shit I'm already invested in, and the things I do, I'm not that interested in and take for granted, this is every single day. Despite my diet, exercise and sleep, I still feel just the same as I did before I got into these healthy habits. I've always felt this way. Sometimes that stuff doesn't really do much for people with depression and I hate that people are force fed this stuff, it doesn't work for everyone.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You need to force yourself to go out and do something enjoying, even if at the moment it seems like a pain in the ass. First thing you always gotta do is break your current do-nothing habit. Find something mentally stimulating besides games. Build something, draw something, paint something, write something, go out and visit a friend.
If this has been a recurring or building theme in your life you would probably do a lot of help seeing a shrink, there could be underlying problems you are not aware of. Sometimes you just need an impartial view of your life.
What yastheblack said, plus I find that planning things to look forward to that are like 6 months away or more helpful. Just having something positive on my horizon makes it easier for me to be social and being social helps me put on my fake happy face... which in turn tricks my mind into thinking I'm happy. Good luck!
In addition to yaztheblack's advice, I'd suggest meditation and journaling. That's one of the things that helped me fix my depression. Just sit down for 15-20 minutes each day, and think about stuff. Anything, really. Whether it's something you're worried about, or something you're happy about, mull it over in your mind a bit. If it's really important, write it down. If you don't have anything to think about, go for a walk and just take in the scenery.
The goal here is to get used to feeling things and noticing things, which makes you feel happy and relaxed. I can explain in more detail as well, if it helps. (I fixed my depression with some science and analysis, so I know a bit about how this works. It's the only way I could think of, but it worked.)
Speak to a therapist. Just book an appointment to talk because you're going through a lot in your life. And if you don't like that particular therapist after a meeting or two, find another. It's important to find one that you click with.
And remember, this is a perfectly normal thing to do. Speaking to a therapist is something that a large portion of the population does, and is not in any way a negative thing. When you call them up, just say it's your first time, and ask them how to go about it.
The hardest part is picking up the phone, honestly.
Triviuhh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:32:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for looking out for my wellbeing Internet stranger. Once my mother passes I'll talk to my dad about getting a therapist (I'm 17).
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:44:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You can always start now, if there's a friend who you trust and can just talk to, do it. Simply talking about what I went through helped me loads, and makes you reflect on your thoughts. Stay strong, it's worth it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:31:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is this true? I skip things I'd probably enjoy all the time because I consider it too much effort or I'd rather watch Netflix...
nah. You are just lazy (like me). I rather stay home and watch shit or study or stay home with gf than take the bus all the way to the city to have a drink or party or anything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wont study, even though I should work on my MCSE or CNAA or something and often times I wont even do what I originally intended. I will end up going the absolute minimum to be engaged. Like I'll plan to play an Xbox game I've been meaning to get to, but end up just watching Netflix...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ha!
cr1t1cal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think we're just lazy. Usually, I'm dreading the effort, but do it anyway and enjoy it every time. This happens the most for me when I have to travel for my plans. I'd rather sit at home and code/game...
Straight As are easy in high school. It's once you get into anything beyond HS that school begins to require effort. I went from 80s-90s in HS to failing classes my first semester of college (not university), and now I'm recently unemployed because of attendance issues. Taking responsibility for yourself is hard, my parents would've kicked my ass if I'd screwed anything up in high school.
Lots of depressed people never really know. They just live that way and adapt to it. I think it's better than knowing and not being able to do anything about it, you feel pretty trapped.
GnozL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yes
GnozL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I often have these weeks where I don't want to do anything, even things I normally like. I'm not sure if it's depression or social anxiety in my case though.
I think it's important to note that exhibiting these symptoms doesn't necessarily mean you are depressed, though. I feel this way a lot and I'm pretty sure I'm not depressed.
maybe this shit is hapenning to me, i only bother with the first date, and after that, i dont give a fuck. like, i dont feel the energy to do what other normal people would never turn down.
"come to my house and lets fuck" and im,
"naaah"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, it sounds like burnout. I went through a period of that and it sucked balls
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is a very accurate description of how I felt for most of the last couple of years. I feel like finally snapped out of it earlier this month. I did it by forcing myself to go out, meet new people, and hang out with them.
I skipped an invitation to a steak dinner with this hot funny cool girl last night because I was worried she'd want to come back to my place, and I have empty bags of chips, empty liquor bottles and unwashed dishes on my bed/table/counter/sink.
Damn dude chill out, the guy is simply saying he's too lazy to put the effort in going out with a girl, sometimes you just don't feel like making plans whether it's with a girl or a friend, that doesn't mean he's depressed
Nah, it's different from that. Working out every day to the point where your body looks like Will Smith's is a serious time and effort investment; like, a lot of work. Depression makes you avoid things that really aren't much or any work at all, like making plans to hang out with your friends or asking a girl out or anything you know you are capable of and will enjoy, but simply don't follow through on because you're too tired, or afraid of rejection, or some other completely irrational reason that only makes sense to you because of a severe chemical imbalance in your brain.
I have this problem but force myself to try and plan something for every other weekend. Usually goes fine but then last weekend 5/6 people didn't return my messages that I'd sent around Monday and the one who did was just saying they were busy.
That made me feel way worse than the weekends I don't do anything...
I dunno, I'm kinda like that but I'm definitely not depressed
derefr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:59:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe ADD. In the way that depression is having no capacity to expect happiness, ADD is having no capacity to motivate yourself.
With ADD, you feel perfectly content to set no goals whatsoever, because you know that if you did, you'd just give up on those anyway--and so why bother?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:12:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
derefr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, all ADD is, is "fucking lazy to an extent that impairs your ability to function in society." And you can treat yourself for that, if you like, at which point you will stop being fucking lazy.
What you cannot do, I stress, is "use willpower" to make yourself less fucking lazy. Willpower is a made-up nonsense concept, used to malign people with physiological problems as if it was some sort of character flaw. People don't have "willpower"; they have a reserve of dopamine, and an executive agency which runs on it. ADD is when you have a chronically-low supply of dopamine. Like a car with a chronically-low supply of gas.
Sounds like me. Also, I got a moderately positive score on an online ADD test. I've heard ADD affects grades, but I'm doing mostly above average in school. Should I get checked?
Area_724 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking as someone who's a sophomore in college dealing with shit that I should have handled before I left high school, if you feel that you need to sort out issues, I would definitely suggest you do it before you start college.
I'm the same as graivt. I'm not down though, just sort of....indifferent. I mean yeah I'm sure a relationship with a girl would be nice but most of the time I feel like I'd just rather lie here and watch Netflix as it's far less effort.
haha the entire thread full of the laziest shit imaginable and i scroll down to this guy who is too lazy to go on a second date, which is more work then most of the shit here and the consensus is that he must be depressed. Reddit users are so desperate for a date they cant imagine a world where a healthy person passes one up.
too lazy to go on a second date, which is more work then most of the shit here
If its such a production to date a certain girl, you should probably reevaluate if she's right for you. That usually isn't sustainable.
poo-poo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some of those other lazys could certainly be depression as well.
Not wanting to get up and turn the light off doesn't really seem like depression.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the same boat as graivt a couple weeks ago. I got a message from a pretty girl on eharmony, which I seldom go on because it is too much work. I just thought it would be too much effort, but she persisted. Over a couple days she even got me excited about meeting up. She says she's down to do anything, so the next day I ask her if she's free to go out the next day, she never responded and blocked me on eHarmony.
I wish I would have ignored her message in the first place haha.
Wait what? I have had this thought a lot for a bunch of girls. None of them work out because I don't want to put effort into a relationship and end up not talking to them ever again.
really? that's your conclusion? i've skipped getting laid a number of times because i just wanted to be home alone eating a nice meal i spent some time cooking alone. does that make me depressed and hate sex or some shit? different people like different things man.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:17:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's not just "getting laid". If your only reason for not hanging out with people that you like because it seems like too much work, that's unhealthy.
The difference is he's not just skipping getting laid... He's not even trying to talk to this girl that it seems he likes, let alone plan another date. It seems more like accepting failure before anything even happens. All for no reason other than it seems like it takes too much work.
jbeezo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:53:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I say that to my friends they think I am gay. Because you know, it obviously means I like dick....
Hey guy, if she is looking for the perfect everything in one night, she is probably too high maintenance for you anyway.
You could also be wildly over thinking it... Not every girl needs a white table cloth and candle lit dinner. I'm actually going on a first date (I guess its a date) with a nice girl tonight. I suggested trivia at a dive bar and she's totally game. If she wasn't cool with that, then we just simply aren't compatible.
TL;DR Not every girl wants to be wined and dined, some of them actually prefer not to be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is a sign of depression? I know I'm depressed, but I thought that part was just me being lazy
tarnkek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm: I've skipped over a month of university because moving just doesn't seem worth it
It could be, but I wouldn't advise labeling a person with depression due to one aspect of their personality. It's not a light term you can just throw around like this, depression is a serious issue.
Those few little words have gotten me to so many unique and educational experiences in my life time. "You'll feel worse if you don't do it." or "Thinking about it this long you're going to convince yourself to fail, because you're used to it you little bitch. Who gives up first?" Yes, those are things I would say to myself, verbatim. The last one (Who gives up first?) I got from Mike Tyson's training regiment.
Nah, not depression. I do the same thing. Get girls numbers at bars, text em for a while, decide it's too much work to set up a date, etc, etc. Call my FWB, have her come over, we sex, I smoke some bud, then pass out.
I feel like I'm in a very similar situation. There's a really cute girl in one of my classes, that I'd really like to ask out before the semester's over in like two weeks. If she says yes, I feel like I'll have no idea what to do. She says yes, then all of a sudden I'm all anxious again about what to do rather than will she say yes or no.
That's not laziness, that's just you making excuses and not having the balls to ask. Actual laziness would losing interest in her because you can't be bothered making plans.
I know how you feel, as somebody who has been there here is my two cents. Ask her out. Just do it. It takes one minute of total courage. My girlfirend has now been with me nearly two years and I am happy as can be. But it all started with a minute. Just ask her out.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:11:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know this feeling, it sucks. My gf who was by FAR the hottest and smartest person I've ever dated dumped me over the weekend, and honesty I feel relieved. No more cleaning my apartment, no more getting haircuts on time, no more trying to dress presentably, no more working out. All I have to do is make it through one more day, and repeat.
I hear you bro. talking to people is such an effort sometimes.
I mean you have to actively listen to what they're saying then think up a creative response and then keep the conversation going and then keep listening. jesus...its such a vicious circle of talking and listening. farrrrrr too much work when I can stay at home and kill people on the internet all day without talking quite happily.
Oryinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My life.
Divune ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this a lot as well :( really a sign of depression ? Don't like that
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the same - I don't count this as depression. It's laziness / cowardice (I don't mean this in a bad way). If I'm scared things might be awkward, I don't do them. You could overcome it by convincing yourself it won't be that bad. But some dates will be. So is it worth it?
We've just got a well-developed flight response. High-five!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just give her the Peter Gibbons treatment.
"I wanna take you back to my place and watch Kung Fu."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel ya. too much stress. and worrying about shit. I feel like the responsibility on planning should be on her too. FUCVK! I" get dressed and meet you there. That's enough. I"ll get hard and you do the rest
Just think of this way, if you win her over and make her your girlfriend you can have her do stuff for you, furthering the lifestyle of your future lazy self.
I know people have already said it, but that really does sound like depression, and if it is, I've been in pretty much the exact same situation. My only words of advice would be that if you really like this girl, do your best to talk yourself into seeing her again, and if a proper relationship blossoms from seeing her then it will likely get a lot easier. I struggled with talking to/making plans with my current SO for the first couple months of our relationship, but I forced myself to stick with him because I loved him. Fast forward a year and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
blacklab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Talking to people is exhausting.
hogger85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Evreyone is saying go on the date, but I have the other perspective. Dont. if you are truely HAPPY in your own company, dont feel you have to date. I felt compelled by society to date and am now in a long term relationship it is a lot more work and I do have less freedoms. I think on the balence of things I would probably be better single, but don't want to break up or hurt her, things are not bad I still have a great time and she is the best other person I could possibly think of, but maybe if i was starting over and there wasn't this societal pressure. I am an introvert and would be quite happy on my own.
I did that once in high school. We went to a movie, then she told me that I needed to plan the next date. Instead, I stayed home and played Tomb Raider all weekend. She seemed out of my league, so I got nervous. Years later, she told me how dumb that was.
Tomb Raider was a pretty cool game, though.
forbucci ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"you want to come over to my place, eat cereal and watch cartoons?"
Oh fuck, this is exactly how I feel too. I feel better for knowing someone else also feels this way, but also worse knowing what the underlying cause is. Maybe I should have spent my lunch hour looking up therapists.
rioba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
it doesn't need to be anything extravagent. see a movie, see a movie at home, see a movie at a drive-in. you get the point. it doesn't really matter what you two do as long as you're spending time with each other
Quajek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is not laziness. This is depression / social anxiety.
you know what man a lot of people on Reddit are quick to diagnose depression. I get it it happens a lot on here, and I'm sorry for you guys that are really depressed. But you're probably fine and just not that into her. I've been in a number of short-lived relationships where I can't see anything wrong with someone, but don't really find them attractive. Since I can't see an obvious flaw I'll keep seeing them for a while even though I instinctively find it a chore. Relax, you're just not attracted to them.
(but if you think you are really depressed please see a doctor ;-))
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:44 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So many miss date for me to! Always a great guy, but I'm just so lazy to put pants on and leave my room just to drive across post to meet him somewhere..
Mother fucker, you plan the date, you make that shit amazing. You have a sordid love affair with this beautiful girl that sours because you don't feel like putting in the effort when you two start to grow apart. You move into a shitty studio apartment and grow a depression beard and eat salad bowls full of your favorite cereal's off-brand version for every meal. You come to your goddamn senses and call her and beg for one more chance. You convince her, you shave, you take her on another fucking amazingly planned out date and you tell her you love her and you never want to love anyone else.
Goddamn motherfucker, what happened to you? You used to be so beautiful!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:38:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I just got out of a 1y 6m relationship and all I want is to meet new women! Don't skip your chance man! You WILL regret it! Don't do this to yourself!
jun2san ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:21:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on my bed and i had to search something in google
on my web browser. Unfortunately I had a wireless mouse, my keyboard was across the room and i had no will to get up.
I literally scrolled around the web page i was on at the moment to find and copy each letter of what i needed to search with my mouse and paste it in the web address bar.
I will never forget. It took a good few minutes to do my search. I was ashamed of myself that night.
lolhoved ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 11:14:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
start-all programs-accessories-ease of access-On-screen keyboard.
"applause sign flashing"
I attach my laptop to my TV with an HDMI cord to watch Netflix/HBO GO/Hulu/etc after my Xbox 360 died... I downloaded an app for wireless keyboard/mouse on my phone instead of walking 4 feet to the entertainment stand where the real wireless mouse and keyboard are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of did this, and I really regret it. Old friend of mine used to go to school with me when we both lived in Dubai. After grd 10, he moved to the States, and I moved to Canada. The summer that just passed (4 years since I've talked to this guy), he was in Canada and asked if we could meet. Thing was, him and I were not really on good terms when school ended (grd 10) so I was reluctant to meet him and was too lazy as well. I told him I was busy with moving back to school and stuff. He said that was okay and that we'd just meet next time he was in town; I agreed.
Couple of months later, I found out he died in a car accident. It really pains me that he wanted to hang out, and I said no because I was lazy, and now I'm never gonna hear from him again.
TL;DR: Old friend wanted to hang out, said no cuz lazy. Guy dies a few months later.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Decided to contact an old friend to whom I had stopped talking and to apologize to him for not returning his messages. Decided against it, thought that it`s not like it matters whether I contact him now or later. Have to apologize either way. Might as well contact him some other time.
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[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:04:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
curious thing: on the internet the english language really turns into something genderless. we don't know OPs gender since he/she is anonymous, neither does "my SO" imply the gender of the likewise anonymous SO.
in all the other languages i speak (russian, german, french) at least the possessive pronoun would tell us if the SO was a he or a she. wtf, anglophones?!
Zagorath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's one of the best things about English, IMO.
Alex4921 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:13:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Starfish her favourite position?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:21:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 07:58:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was watching tv w/roommate, tv remote right in front of us on the floor instead of just leaning over and grabbing it we use pillows, hoodies and feet to finally get it close enough where we literally didn't have to move to get the remote
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 02:00:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is called creative problem solving!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when I have to take a pill but I don't wanna go downstairs to get water I just save up a bunch of spit until there's enough to wash the pill down.
When I was a 7 I really hated getting up in the night to go to the bathroom.
I hadn't realized that it was weird for a 7 year old to not piss their bed on a regular basis. So what I would do is take a sheet, piss into it directly, and put it off the the side. I would then hide the sheet and do this multiple times with different sheets until all of my sheets where soaked with piss by the end of the week.
Then I would piss directly on the bed and tell my parents I pissed the bed.
This way I didn't have to get up, my parents changed the sheets once a week, and I didn't have to sleep in piss sheets.
Slamma009 ยท 941 points ยท Posted at 04:39:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Source: Was a child. Did you know you only need two pairs of socks for two weeks if you air-dry the one you are currently not wearing to solve the "soggy wet from sweat" issue?
If you squat over the blender and squeeze out a turd you can get a nice protein shake. Put some milk and eggs in there too. You'll get swole in no time!
bloons3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:48:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Man, why couldn't you just have been normal and pissed on the bed like the rest of us? What, you think you're better than us because you never slept in your own piss? Pfft, this guy.
blusk43 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just created a Reddit account solely for the purpose of letting you know that this is the absolute funniest thing I have ever read and I thank you for this.
danglyuh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My little brother had a piss container, the container used to be for crayons. One day I was cleaning his room and decided to look under the bed, I pulled out a full container with a lone crayon floating on top. I also found another container that had shit in it. He shit in a container and put it under his bed because he was scared to go downstairs by himself. I never mention it because I figure it would be pretty shameful to have to remember something so mortifying. I still have a laugh whenever I remember though.
When I was around that age the corner of my room near my dresser was my toilet. Don't know why I wouldn't just walk the 10 feet or so down the hall to the bathroom. Fortunately I grew out of that or my entire carpet would have become a 12 x 12 piss sponge.
I did a similar thing in primary school.
I went to a school that was physically big (average student numbers) and my classroom was at one side of the school, the toilets at the other. This seemed like walking a marathon to my 6-8 year old mind.
My teacher would NEVER let us go to the bathroom during class, but I could hold it between lunch breaks so that was no problem.
The problem was that I simply chose not to go during lunch breaks, at the time it seemed perfectly logical to me. I could go to the bathroom now and not piss my pants, but fuck it: I would rather play handball. I don't care about walking around piss-soaked today.
I can't remember the teacher ever having a reaction or sending me to change so either she was exceptionally ignorant of the children that she was teaching or became accustom to this almost daily occurrence.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It is weird NOT to piss in bed at 7?
What?
Aren't you supposed to stop pissing in bed at about 4-5?
To this day, I am still lazy going to the bathroom so I hold it in till morning...since I was 8 I've been to the bathroom only once in the night...and that was when I was ill and too weak to hold it in.
Because of the double negative in your comment, I thought you thought that you were a special seven year old who was the only one who didn't wet the bed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:35 on May 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I cant count the times I've gone months without doing groceries... Start raiding the "emergency" type canned food ... Eating the very last possible edible thing I had.
Usually by the end I feel like shit because there's obviously nothing nutritious in what I've been eating.
If you ever trying too tan at the pool this works well if on your belly and with almost all lounge pool chairs with the spaces between the straps you lay on ๐
efhs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:25:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
no
Ray-Bob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:55:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rather than reach to put my beer down on a coaster, I slouch down a bit and can balance it on my beer gut/sternum area
pendleza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wine in a sippy cup is great for laying in bed. Prevents spills!
downvotereads it again"I see what you did there...."UPVOTE!!
tumaroh ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 07:34:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
uhm. i didn't want to do a project on the pythagorean theorem once. so the morning it was due i took my a ham and cheese sandwich i had for lunch, held it up for the class, cut it diagonally, and found the hypotenuse of the sandwich triangles on the board.. i got an A.
Arkzora ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:58:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't! My paper is over information that can only be obtained in the city I'm currently not in :( and the internet is no help!
I AM thinking of a plan though! thanks for the concern
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:17:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relax file corrupter .net will allow you to create a corrupted file that wont open. It will buy you about a week or so of extra time before you have to pull that all nighter to get it done. This is assuming you have to email/upload the file to submit.
I did a paper that was due 15 days ago today while browsing Reddit. Think my teacher was browsing Reddit while grading it and was to lazy to read it because he still gave me a B.
By the way try not to panic.
ajkjnr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had paper due this past September. It's November and I get to turn it in. I have still made enough excuses for my teacher to allow this. But I have yet to start
OzCorp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
how did that work out for you?
nfp_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh well imagine. As I'm browsing reddit on my mac book pro I can't help but to hear, hear an email coming in. What the fuck am I doing! What the fuck am I doing. I have a paper due tomorrow. I Havnt started yet. No I Havnt even opened word.
I time in with a haven't you people ever heard of starting a paper before
It's much better to face these kind of things with a sense of lazy rationality.
I time in haven't you people ever heard of, starting a paper before. It's much better to face these kind of things, with a sense of...
Too lazy to finish. But this is Panic! At the Deadline's Term Paper
Haha not necessarily!
I just really hate writing papers.
And watching the news. Tv in general. (Its a four page paper over the local news. I have to include the commercials that were played too)
Its super easy, I know. But it consists of doing a lot of things that I hate to get it done.
jaXXXek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have an exam tomorrow. I'm too lazy to open the book. In fact I'm so lazy that I can't walk 5ft to the left and grab the laptop so I'm on my phone.
SirDowns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sitting in this exact same situation right now. Windows Network Administration is the subject at hand.
stracted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a good month to write up a 5 pager. I was so lasy I just ended up dropping the class.
I have a paper assigned over a month ago due in the class I'm currently writing this comment in. I started the paper 2 hours ago and fished just in time to print it and walk to class without reading it. I hope it's good.
Accidentally clicked on my CD drive in Windows, drive opened up because where was no disk. Tower out of reach. Googled how to write a program to close it. 10 minutes later, success.
Atario ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:28:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Usually you can just hit "eject" in the menu again and it'll reload the tray.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:19:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I got into coding because when I was a teenager my brother told me that if you type BEEP into QBASIC the computer beeped. I thought that was the coolest shit I had ever heard in my life. Haven't looked back since. It's relatively easy.
That's what did it for me too, and the knowledge that QBASIC was on almost every computer that I would come in contact with.
One day in my middle school's library...
10 BEEP
20 GOTO 10
Start the program, and walk away.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:46:58 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Programmers are the best kind of lazy: they have a practical goal they want to accomplish, and are willing to put in more work to do it automatically than to do it manually. So while the initial time investment is much higher, the result of their work typically saves 10x as much time in the long-term.
Given that I am lazy, I enjoy programming and automating things.
I've never done one. I should try it just for shits 'n' giggles.
There was great one that used to be done a lot in the Acorn Achimedes computer lab - write a program that creates a directory, enters that directory, creates a directory, until you killed it. It made directory trees so deep that the teacher's running the lab couldn't work out how to delete them. The standard delete functionality wouldn't work.
fluffy-b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:09:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wow i gotta try that
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
::Inception but with folders and stuff (Paste into notepad, save as .bat file) - Stop using CTRL+C
:Deeper
md RabbitHole
cd RabbitHole
Goto Deeper
Arkzora ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:43:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm scared to use this, what exactly does it do?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
write a program that creates a directory, enters that directory, creates a directory, until you killed it.
Arkzora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually don't recommend trying either of these but modern operating systems probably have some process limits in place to mitigate these types of attacks.
mgedmin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:18 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
modern operating systems probably have some process limits in place to mitigate these types of attacks.
On Fedora and Red Hat the ulimit is set pretty low out of the box. That'll keep the bomb from working. (Unless you've previously tampered with that.)
mgedmin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:35 on December 5, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How low? I'm curious.
On Ubuntu ulimit -a shows that nproc is set to 62759 out of the box.
I'm also curious if ulimit can do anything about forkboms. Yes, the number of processes will be capped, but can you kill them all faster than new ones are spawned?
the first time i smoked weed i was 13 or 14. i was sitting in the chair with a coke in my hand and i was really thirsty, but i couldn't/really didnt want to move. so i just poured it on my leg, hoping my skin would absorb it like a plant. it didnt work.
[deleted] ยท 184 points ยท Posted at 03:58:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my wife and I have ordered PPV movies that we own because we didn't want to go to the other room for the disc. Costs us $6 every time, and every time it's totally worth it.
I don't even hate my job or my life, it was just utter laziness. I woke up from a bad sleep and was just like "what if I just shot myself in the face? Then I wouldn't have to go to work..."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:51:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to hear about this :( Hope things are better for you now.
onsos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:49 on January 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Not that I'm saying you're depressed, but that would be a classic symptom of depression. I would consider whether or not you are actually depressed.
I researched symptoms of depression so that I could fool a doctor and get an extension for a dissertation. Contemplating suicide (to avoid the dissertation and all my other commitments)was one of many signs that I was actually depressed.
I saw the doctor, got the extension, some SSRis, some Student Health CBT counselling. Probably the best decision I have ever made.
Haha, no, I'm not depressed. Thank you for your serious concern, though, I truly appreciate it and it gives me a bit more faith in humanity to know that you and people like you are out there.
I threw away all my dirty dishes once and just bought new ones because I really didn't want to wash them after they'd been sitting in my sink for three weeks. I should feel shame about it, but instead I just feel like a bad ass.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should do an AMA, the last vacuum cleaner AMA was rather useful!
jtj-H ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:21:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am an expert in Australian train history as was known in the year 1980
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We have a lot of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've watched about 4-5 hours before with my feet touching the channel button on the tv. The remote didn't work but I was too lazy to press the button a bunch of times with my toes to find something good.
dudemycat ยท 365 points ยท Posted at 03:05:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of my best friends and I determined that we share a common thread of laziness. We bump our bodies off of walls and other tall rigid objects in order to make 45ยฐ or greater turns in the house. It's not anything we did intentionally, we just kind of discovered one day when we were back in high school. Ha ha.
That's my go-to way to turn while going up or down stairs that have a railing.
juel1979 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hold door jambs to make it easier to carry something or someone heavy when going over the baby gates in my house. Then again, I touch furniture and walls to avoid smacking into them due to my depth perception being messed up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tridian ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:56:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't standard procedure? In my house you can always tell when somebody is coming down the stairs because they bounce off the wall halfway down instead of turning.
daweinah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:39:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this, not to help make me turn, but because I'm trying to take a shortcut.
God damn, I thought I was the only one who did this. I felt so alone in the world! In fact, many things in this thread make me feel my typical! I must be one lazy motherfucker
I do this too. Alternatively if there is a pole available I'll grab it and swing into whatever direction I'm going. I'm contemplating getting rollerskates or something similar but I can't be arsed to learn.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:15:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The least disgusting but most lazy thing that I have ever done is skip my senior year English exam in high school because I didn't feel like getting out of bed. I shrugged and decided that I would just graduate next year.
Ayeffkay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remembered at 2am that i had SATs the next morning at 9. I played brood war for 2 more hours and when I woke up that afternoon I just said I forgot.
The alarm part reminds me of me and my marathon sleep sessions. Got called and woken up by my supervisor asking why I wasn't in already. 4:30 pm on a Saturday.
imlulz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:29:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
IceCapp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:44 on March 13, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Think you'll get to writing that novel someday?
[deleted] ยท 414 points ยท Posted at 04:49:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I lived in a loft apartment and was having a lazy weekend with a friend. We decided to order pizza but neither of us wanted to go downstairs and answer the door. So, we did what any lazy girls would do. We found a basket, an old jump rope, bathrobe sash and a scarf, tied them together and lowered the money down in the basket and had the pizza guy tie the rope around the box a couple times so we could bring it back up. We tipped him well enough to make it worth his while and we still got called weird before he left.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:16:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but now that they have the lowering apparatus, they will be able to do it easier and quicker in the future.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:25:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're forgetting that it's not just going down the stairs it's going back up the stairs too. Besides, you'd be surprised how much useless crap some people just have laying around. This was literally within a 3 foot radius so it was accessible to my laziness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:05 on December 24, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
amvegas ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 12:12:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to smoke a lot of weed. One day I got the munchies but I was too lazy to go out and get food. I ended up eating a brick of butter covered in sugar. That was the last time I ever smoked weed
fkothari ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:16:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ahh a shame stick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like that would really prompt your system to flush.
[deleted] ยท 255 points ยท Posted at 04:32:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
30 straight episodes of HIMYM on Netflix in one day.
knot353 ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 07:36:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Been there done that. Wanted to punch ted so hard by the end of the day.
Oh good I'm not the only one who wants to beat that dumb ass with a shoe.
fml_twice ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 10:11:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Right! He's such a pretentious little bitch.
Lazek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The basis of the HIMYM drinking game my friends and I play was "Drink whenever Ted's a douchebag," and then the rules multiplied organically from there.
I'm re-watching Chuck. I watched 11 episodes yesterday.
ZuFFuLuZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:38:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell? I just wanted to write the exact same thing, because that's what I did this summer. All of Chuck in 6 days.
I also just watched the first 3 seasons of Sons of Anarchy last week... I like to binge on my TV.
...I just went through HIMYM over the last few weeks and am now watching Chuck on Netflix. I watched Chuck from start to finish on TV but I'm rewatching because it's a good show...I didn't watch HIMYM until I found it on Netflix but I'm sad it's going to be over soon :(
Chuck was such a great show, it makes me really sad it got cancelled.
I did this with battle star galactica. It put me in a dark place.
Aktta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:46:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Long HIMYM marathons were quality time for me and my former significant other. It might be lazy but it was awesome and easy at the time. I should watch more of that. Some other day.
tHeSiD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:23:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I finished battlestar Galactica in 4 days straight. Had nothing to do so didn't have to sleep much. Just laid on my bed continuously watching. Just got up when I had to poop or pee
went to a pizza shop, ordered a pizza for delivery to my house, asked if the driver could drive me there as were going to the same place. was cheaper than a taxi
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:37:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know, I'm not gonna say I don't believe you. But if you next tell us you struck the "Captain Morgan".... I don't knowwwww
Pottski ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:57:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was a great Australian tradition to get home cheaply from the pub when you were drunk. Nowadays the pizza places don't allow it as it's an OHS issue. Damn fucking OHS.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS PIZZA WITHOUT MY DRINK!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
krusty krab pizza is the pizza for you and me
TA5MAN1AN ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 04:56:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Middle of the night when the late night piss time comes around... pissed in my empty cheeto bag and didnt throw it out for 2 days because i lost it and didnt want to find it
I put it under my bed but when i woke up the next morning my mind had thought i threw it away already. But halfway through the first day my room smelled like piss so i just sprayed fabreez until i found the bag when i was cleaning my room on the second day.
mrhoggatt ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 04:31:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed in the kitchen sink because the kitchen was closer...
I piss in the bathroom sink cause it's closer sometimes. And it's such a nice height. I do this when I'm drunk though, haven't done it whilst sober... yet.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:18:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did it 10 seconds ago. Seriously, perfect dick height.
celieus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:48:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you i like you
tHeSiD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:19:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this too! And sometimes when I'm drunk, (I smoke when I'm drinking for that extra high) I wait for the pee in the bladder to build up and go out to the balcony for a smoke and just pee right there into the drain while having a smoke. It's awesome to smoke while having a long beer pee
I've done this, but not the same scenario. I rented a room and the owner of the apartment was an old man so I couldn't rush him out. I did this many times. Many, many times. No regrets.
juel1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure this happened in our house. Especially in the winter. Bathroom was in the ingested garage downstairs.
I actually do this all the time when I'm drinking lol, sometimes it gets bad and I wind up with numerous bottles of piss under my bed by the end of the month. Also too lazy to throw them away, so I unscrew the lids and just toss the bottles out my window into the bushes. The bushes always look sick compared to the ones next to them, it's hilarious.
I cleaned out a gallon jar of what was my roommates spent Kim-chi for recycling. Never recycled it but have been randomly pissing in it then closing the lid it's in my closet now turning brown.
Edit: I shouldn't try and explain piss jar 2013 it is sociopathic.
Edits: /u/Lynfect are you out there?
[deleted] ยท 272 points ยท Posted at 06:16:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying to figure out what would smell worse, the pee or the kimchi. :P My sister's boyfriend is korean and his fridge constantly smells like kimchi. Bleh.
Can't do that if you're say an over the road truck driver too much danger of spillage but I know that problem. (Child of a truck driver having to pee in jugs.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:27:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A local driver might pick the load up and drop it in a yard nearby for the OTR driver to take it to delivery. OTR just means they do the long hauling. I work in logistics.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who make more?
Local sounds more stressful (driving a big semi in the city)
Well the local guys take several loads a day, so its just delivering, picking up a trailer, delivering, etc. I am pretty sure they get paid hourly rather than by the mile. The OTR guys usually get paid by the mile, somewhere around .30 per mile. So lets say you are doing a 1200mi run you make around $400 for 2 days work. Not too bad, but truckers deal with a lot of BS. So lets say his truck breaks, gets detained by the DOT, held up at a shipper/receiver etc. that same $400 just got stretched to 3 days. Sometimes they are compensated, most make less than .30 per mile etc. Check out this documentary it is not what EVERY truckers life is like, but it shows how much it can suck. Give these guys some respect!
There's nothing growing in them? Serious question because I unfortunately have run into a situation where I've found containers of piss in someone's bedroom. There were mushrooms growing in some of them. Actual fucking mushrooms.
Your friend has MUSHROOMS growing in his piss bottles. You think my case is bad? I'm actually kinda jealous. I might have to keep them down there for a few more months.
My "friend" was a she. A girl who was pissing into mostly cups, but the occasional bottle (not sure how she pulled it off). And not a friend, family, on my husband's side, so not blood related to me. I felt like it was very important to clarify that for some reason.
But yeah, now I'm wondering just how long the fungus filled cups of piss we found had been sitting there when we helped her move.
Cause I'm lazy, yo. And holy shit I just checked my two liters and there is black speckles floating on the bottom. You won't believe what else I found. In the "feet" of the bottle, it looks like lumps of Crisco.
Didn't say I thought you were lying, just thought maybe you were playing up a true story (pissing in bottles) by saying you kept them for ages, to make the story more interesting.
i used to do that too. id throw them under my bed so i didnt have to get up and throw them away. id forget about them and after a while they turn black.
I always want to do this when I'm in bed, I just feel like if I do I'll be at rock bottom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It will be the rock bottom, just don't do it.
I can't believe this thread, who are these people? I mean, I've pissed in bottles too, I've gone weeks without washing etc, but not as a regular part of my life!
Zaiton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're already there.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:55:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I filled a few ocean spray juice bottles. They never got emptied. One day I just threw them out the window. Then, months later, i was riding my dirtbike around the house, ran one over, and it popped open, spraying my face with year old piss. It was a terrible thing.
Glad to hear someone else does this. After a while, my piss bottles pile up and emptying them out uses more energy than if I just used the bathroom normally.
ootika ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:17:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My camping tent has a zipper flap about six inches off the ground. I'm guessing it's for running cables INTO the tent, but many a freezing night I've rolled over just enough to run my cable OUT of it when I'm too lazy to thermal up and track to the john.
That does remind me of seven or eight years ago, camping in Sequoia NP when I stepped out of my tent in the middle of the night only to realize there were bears savaging the camp. Nope. Right back into the tent. I'll hold it. Thanks.
Did the same thing in college with those 1L cartons of peach juice. Even after I'd filled maybe 3-4, instead of proper disposal (I'm still unsure of what that means) I'd drop them onto a service sidewalk from my third story window.
Long term: begin winemaking as a hobby, and do this seriously for months. After a while let everyone know that you have created the perfect wine, but it needs to be kept in a cask for seven years, seven months and seven days. Do this, but store your cask of piss. Give up wine making claiming that to be the last cask, but the best cask to ever be made. Remind them of it after seven years, seven months, and seven days. When they gather around and toast, watch them labor through a full glass of your seven year, seven month, seven day old piss. They know this day is important to you so they will finish. When they finish let them know it was a seven year, seven month, seven day long joke. Their faces would be priceless.
Short term: put it in a bucket over a door, or constantly fill the cats litter box with it.
Now I have that mental image. I don't want that mental image.
AshAidan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used to do the same thing before I got an onsuite. Friends used to joke about my lemonade having sediment.
wwahwah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not as bad as fapping into a box instead of walking to the bathroom..
labeille ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 8, I peed in my bed because I didn't want to get up to go to the bathroom. It was cold and dark. I regretted it immediately after though. Still didn't get up until morning.
I've got a friend IRL that does that... he drinks a lot and uses the leftover bottles for his piss.
We all laugh at what a disgusting human being he is... Really Dave, walk your ass to the bathroom, you'll never get laid with your piss-bottles lying around.
mubd1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but if I use the head of my penis to make a seal with the mouth of the bottle there's some nasty spurting and leakage that occurs when the urine displaces some of the air in the bottle and essentially pressurizes the bottle.
I have a technique down. You have to balance levels of pressure by fluctuating the tip in and out. Start slow and cautiously. Gradually work your way up to full on pissing. It's sorta scary the first time. I got butterflies in my stomache my first time.
mslack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago, I had a friend (who, now you come to mention it, was not entirely ignorant of the pleasures of Sativa) stay over. He was sleeping a few feet away from the bathroom, which was clean and cosy (way nicer than the bathroom in his house). Absolutely no reason not to visit it.
But he didn't.
But that's not the extraordinary part. The extraordinary part is, in the morning, instead of discreetly disposing of the evidence, he was waving these bottles of piss around while explaining to myself and then-girlfriend just exactly why-the-fuck he had decided to slash in a bottle.
I did the same thing in high school, but mostly because I was always playing video games and smoking weed until really late and didn't want to wake my parents up.
Batatata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once pissed in a bottle to remember how it feels. I filled the thing to the exact level you'd find it at in a store. It was a 1 liter bottle of smart water. This was one month ago. I still have it in my closet because it's too beautiful to toss out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this when my boyfriend isn't home. In my defence, the toilet is down a flight of steep stairs and I still have the scars from last time I fell down them while half asleep. I'm protecting my safety!
Guilty of this too. Now I just piss in the slop slink in the garage instead of going upstairs to use the real bathroom.
Soronir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, used fast food cups, which I then keep on bathroom counter. Pee in those, pour in sink, rinse out cup, set it back on the counter. No splatter, saves water.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this every day in Afghanistan. I'd fill bottles all night long. Out of mission while up in a truck turret, I'd fill bottles. Everyone did this. I think from the amount of water I was drinking I'd easily fill 5 or more bottles a night.
TLDR Afghanistan has hundreds of thousands of piss bottles.
thestimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Under my bed there is currently a fucking mountain of bottles. like 70-80 of them. Brought a girl home last weekend, and when morning came and she leaned over the edge of my bed to look for her pants I was absolutely fucking terrified she would spot them.
I'm cleaning that shit up this week, or, at least I'm throwing a blanket or something over them.
Ciderbat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once lived in a townhouse with my dad. His room was in the basement and mine was on the second floor, beside the washroom. He later confided in me that when he'd wake up at night, instead of walk up 2 floors, he'd lay on the concrete an piss into the floor drain. I didn't judge. I'd pissed in the backyard after dark so many times because I didn't want to wait for the washroom.
LisaLulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:26:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was about 12 years old . I was sitting on my couch watching cartoons and eating buffalo wings. I didn't want to get up and throw away the bones so I just shoved the plate under the couch. I then ( from the couch) began throwing each and every eaten wing and bone into one the corners of the living room , somewhere in between the bookshelf and the TV, until my dad walked in.
He was both baffled and ashamed..and so am I
juel1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to drop wrappers and paper plates behind the couch as a kid.
Had no clean bowls for cereal. Used a ziplock bag.
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 06:08:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
PapBear ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:00:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
too rich for my blood
atn9009 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hell yeah, I do this with panties! When I'm running low I either go to Victoria's Secret or ask my roommate to make a stop for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You must have a lot of tshirts.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
a guy I used to work with did this. There was an Old Navy on the way to work. They always had crappy tshirts for a couple bucks. You know, really thin, the collar stretched out to the circumference of a large pizza...those shirts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i do this with underwear. i'll be out and i'll just go to target on my way to work or something and pick up a pack.
I had a pizza delivered from the shop in the building, it was connected by the elevator.
ellemeff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is a pizza shop across the road from me. Have contemplated getting delivery so many times. Am too cheap to pay extra for delivery though.
SirBrrr ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 04:16:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had my wisdom teeth removed day before and it hurt like a bitch, but the pain medicine was up a half a flight of stairs. Stayed on the couch, and spent the rest of the day without it.
I had mine out and was a bit lazy (narcotic pain pills do that...) about the hourly saltwater rinse thing.. I did it but not as frequently as I was told to. Ended up being agonisingly painful and took way longer to heal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone swore up and down to me that this procedure would be painful. I've had it done twice (bottom left the first time, the remaining three the second time) and I never felt the need to take the pain pills.
Were the teeth already causing you pain when you had them out? Mine were, and I think it could be that comparatively having them out was a fucking picnic.
SirBrrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:37 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Veztin ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:43:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live 3 houses away from a pizza place. I get it delivered
ehamm ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:16:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I moved my desk from my old house last year, and took out all of the drawers to move it. One drawer made it in, the other is still in the back of my car.
If you have a Galaxy S4, you phone is a universal IR remote control!
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I need this.
juel1979 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a remote control lamp over my desk. The gun from my NES would sometimes turn it on and off.
SaeLow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Best thing I ever did. Ever.
Alkanfel ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 05:15:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a sophomore in high school, I would tape BBs to my pens and pencils and carry a telescoping magnetic pointer so I didn't have to bend over to pick them up if they rolled off my desk. Came in handy in the hallways too.
I should do something like that, especially when your pencil/pen rolls on that side of the desk.
mini4x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If they have BBs taped to them how would they roll?
Alkanfel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:48:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Syntax error. Should have said "fell" or something.
_vargas_ ยท 716 points ยท Posted at 04:48:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
A couple years ago, there was an instance where I had the day off and my girlfriend at the time was away at her grandparents until later that night. This left me free to sit about the apartment with absolutely nothing expected of me, so I just sat on the couch all day and watched TV. Within twenty minutes, I decided to rub one out.
Bringing up a video of a young Japanese women being massaged by another young Japanese woman, I merrily stroked away. Ninety seconds later, I felt ready to bust a nut. I searched frantically for a receptacle. Finding none, I frantically removed a sock and slid my penis in it just in time for the climax. Instead of getting up to put the sock with the dirty laundry and maybe giving my hand a bit of a wash, I opted to toss the gooey sock on the rug in front of me and continue watching Whale Wars.
About an hour later, I was watching an episode of True Blood. In it, Anna Paquin was completely nude and more importantly, not talking. I felt an involuntary twitch down in my loins.
"Again?" I asked my penis in a tone that I normally reserve for when my dog has to go outside even though I just walked him a couple hours prior.
Taking it out of my boxers, I went to work on another flogging. Halfway through, I again realized that I would need another place to blow my load. I looked at my foot without a sock. Then I looked at my foot with the sock...
After I had finished violating it, I threw that other sock on the floor next to its twin. I thought about rising from the couch to tidy up a little but instead I changed the channel (Sookie Stackhouse is never more annoying than right after you finish spanking it to her nude body).
A couple hours go by when I stumble upon the Food Network. Giada is on. She's making something. It's Italian and saucy. Giada with her beautiful hair, perfect teeth, and tasteful amount of cleavage. Her breasts jiggle in a subtle, nearly imperceptible way when she's chopping artichokes.
"Oh, Giada," I think. "We would make such sweet love. Leave that douchebag, Todd, and run away with me."
"...and remember to make sure the mascarpone is room temperature before using it."
That's when I noticed my rock-hard Tom Jones poking out of the pee flap of my boxers. It was so hard that I swear it was vibrating or something. I got to work immediately on making it go away. As I neared the conclusion, my eyes were darting everywhere, searching for someplace to catch my wad. No use, though. I came all over my Matchbox 20 t-shirt. By now, you've probably figured out that I didn't get up. I just took the jizz drizzled shirt and tossed it with the two socks. Then, I took a nap.
I awoke around 9pm. My girlfriend was home. She asked how my day was.
"Very, very relaxing. I really needed it."
"That's good. I want to take a quick shower and then I'll sit down and tell you how my day was...Uh, why are there clothes crumpled up on the floor?"
"What? Oh, them. Do you mind throwing them in the laundry basket, babe? I'm really comfy right now."
The guy cummed in one sock, was too lazy and set it aside, cummed in his other sock, too lazy and set it aside, then he felt the need to rub another one out, and he had no more receptacles, so he used the 1st sock he cummed it.
TL;DR - Fapped multiple times onto his clothes. Threw clothes into a pile on the floor. Made girlfriend put clothes in the hamper when she got home because he was too comfy to get up.
BCLono ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The guy cummed in one sock, was too lazy and set it aside, cummed in his other sock, too lazy and set it aside, then he felt the need to rub another one out, and he had no more receptacles, so he used the 1st sock he cummed it.
poo-poo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I see you were too lazy to finish it, he came on his matchbox 20 shirt for his 3rd jizz.
That's weird, normally you'd have to say something like Candlejack before you get cu
Cyrecok ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:20:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
dude its just like my li
caryb ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:14:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I see you don't finish anyth.
johnEB0y ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 07:15:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted to play league of legends. I Was too lazy to get up to go to the computer so I watched streams of people playing for 3 hours instead on my phone.
BruleMD ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 04:22:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
watching netflix...I'm laying in my bed, laptop is on my desk about 3 ft away from me....I downloaded a remote app on my phone to control my laptop so I wouldn't have to reach from under the covers to control my laptop.
Taxis were all booked up and I didn't fancy the 20 minute walk home. Walked in to Chinese takeaway and ordered food for delivery. They delivered me with it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is pure genius.
[deleted] ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 02:58:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BEyouTH ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 04:38:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I believe... there is an autowalk button... C maybe?
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:46:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i used to grab a corpse and stuff it with a thousand pounds of items then drag it back to town. It was interesting.
zuccah ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:04:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking brilliant.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
bem13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:55:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back in DayZ I used to use a fork or a spoon to hold W...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, the worst part of DayZ. You die and are "autorunning" from spawn to the direction of your base. Come back to see you fell off a large rock and your legs are broken, but you're not bleeding. Now you have to plead in chat for someone to come kill/save you.
I haven't played Skyrim in a long time so they may have patched it, but if you the fire button while holding a bow, it would make you walk faster if over encumbered.
Well, I always thought that a lazy programmer (within reasonable bounds) is a good programmer.
I got sick of typing in the same command line for a series of tasks. So instead I took one day writing a script to do my job for me, and now I come into work, turn on my computer, run my script, then walk away. Before I was sitting there for hours on end typing in command after command.
ThatFag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:34:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Missed enrollment for classes, skipped entire semester.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:32:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Unplugged my head phones from my computer so I could go get food instead of taking them out of my ears.
Slamma009 ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 04:40:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a programmer... that should be enough
trizzle21 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:05:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once was an intern for ESPN's high school sports division. I was supposed to calculate team times for cross country meets across the country. While all the other interns were using a hand calculator, I wrote a simple script and billed them for the day of work... which I proceeded to waste watching tv. Best. Day. Ever.
Sayfog ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:41:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This, just basic scripting logic can be incredibly helpful for speeding up menial tasks whilst reducing chances of errors.
Varzoth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:24:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
See I'd'd be too busy to code it and just use a calculator errors be dammed.
waffles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's genius, not lazy.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:02:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:54:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Short answer: Programmers are literally trained to seek out the easiest (and hopefully most efficient) way to do things. Intelligent laziness is considered a virtue.
frerrets ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:48:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would explain, but I think I'll just write a script to post this instead.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Programmers usually automatize everything in order to do a less repetitive work.
fibs :: [Integer]
fibs = 0 : 1 : zipWith (+) fibs (tail fibs)
fastfib n = fibs !! n
nkibler7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:04:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After my freshman year in college, I picked up a small job with a start-up that specialized in providing online curricula to public and private schools. I was hired to move their web content into their newly built content management system. It was pretty much a "copy & paste" job. I asked my boss if she would let me explore easier ways to do this, but she said it wouldn't save much time and it wasn't worth the trouble.
I wrote a program that essentially replaced my job and finished my work in a fraction of the time. I handed it out to the other employees doing the same thing I was.
When she found out what I did, something unexpected happened. She gave me a raise and changed my job to essentially create automatic scripts that replaced a lot of other unnecessary manual jobs.
Moral of the story: if a programmer tells you there is an easier way, there is.
You can't call yourself a lazy programmer until you make 'c' into 'ssh carbon' (one of our servers).
Celdron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I taught myself programming before college, so I still had to take 100 level CS classes my Freshman year, because I didn't have credit. (In fact my Freshman year I dove directly into AI research with a professor) When it came time to do the final project for that class, I knew that I could make a program twice as good as my classmates in a fraction of the time, so while everybody worked for 2+ hours a day trying to figure out why they kept getting NullPointerExceptions, I would write about 3 or 4 classes in an hour on Sunday nights. Here is the sad part: even though I exerted no effort in actual coding, I lost a ton of points because I was too lazy to comment anything other than class headers and I always "forgot" to fill out the paperwork for the progress reports.
I had the hardcover version of the Steve Jobs biography sitting on my table, literally four feet away, but I was so comfortable on my couch that I just bought the book again from iBooks and kept reading from my iPhone.
usclone ยท 264 points ยท Posted at 05:38:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are the embodiment of every Apple customer.
W360 ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 05:45:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He probably read the book and thought "I too can change the world" then proceeded to play candy crush for 87 straight hours.
I have 3000 songs on my Itouch, only about 100 of which I payed for. The other 2900 were legally purchased off of iTunes by other people, and I have the "allow multiple computers to access this device" option on. Boom, free payed-for music.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:41:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bree-Rad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:47:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I pick stuff up with my feet all the time. Usually without realizing. I was at my parents house and left my socks in the middle of the floor. Naturally, I walk over and pick them up with my feet and stroll out. My mom laughed her ass off
juel1979 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My husband has the prehensile toes gift. We both cracked up when we first caught our two year old picking stuff up with her feet like he does.
I call my toes "pincher goes" because I can literally grab anything with them. Once grabbed a bottle of beer with them because I was too lazy to roll over and grab it. Having a six pack by my bed is also lazy since the kitchen is ten feet away. I can really do some damage with these toes. I'm like a crab.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hm....is learning a new skill to replace a normal function really lazy though?
Forgot my lunchbox in my bag for an entire week. Didn't want to deal with the mold created on the leftovers so I just threw my lunchbox away.
JershW ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:22:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just got out of the army in october. I've slept in past 3pm every day since then. The only times I've been awake during the morning or early afternoon is when I pulled an all nighter to 'fix' my sleep cycle. No job or need for one. THIS IS THE BEST I'VE FELT IN 4 YEARS.
Cromesett ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:23:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a roommate that refused to get a cellphone, so he had a landline that he connected to a wireless handset set-up. Him being a giant stoner, he would always leave the handsets in different parts of the house, usually where he wasn't and always causing him to frantically chase down the rings.
One night, the remote was on a chair across the room. There were five of us watching a show that ended and knew the next thing we wanted to watch was on another channel. No one wanted to get up. On the coffee table was my cell-phone. Eternal glory shone down like a beam of light directly from the garden of the gods as I dialed the house #.
It rang. From deep in his room in the back of the house, my roommate asked if the phone was ringing. It rang again and again, each time bringing me one step closer to the answering machine and, for my now scrambling roommate, one step closer to insanity, as six of his friends sat motionless, refusing to answer the phone.
His door opens, he runs down the hall. He was in the shower, his towel wrapped around him and his feet wet, he made it to the chair, smiling and flipping us off for hammering home the reason he should get a cell.
"Hello?"
"Hey! Could you pass me the remote?"
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 11:03:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I made my bed really nicely once. It was too nice to sleep in that night so I put my sleeping bag on top and slept in that instead. For three years.
You should either 1. Go to jail or 2. Join the military.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:42:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, maybe later.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:04:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Confirmed. I did this in the Navy. People would get pissed and tell me to roll it up. I was like 'Fuck you, it's made'. There was a comforter underneath, fully made.
bum-off ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:26:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm in bed browsing reddit and I like a post enough to throw it an up vote, if that box comes up to make me sign in, I just close box and carry on with my day. To all those who were due up votes, I'm sorry.
bruce779 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:57:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably too late to this but what the hell.
The laziest thing I've ever done is have a kid because I couldn't be arsed reaching into the bedside drawer for a condom.
I've done this before, except the knocking it over part. I used to use my toes to change videos on my laptop all the time. Now I just use a remote control app on my phone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did almost the same thing. I dropped my iPod touch and didn't want to get off the chair so I kind of slouched really far down in the chair and grabbed it with my foot to throw it to myself and threw it right at a brick and it cracked.
[deleted] ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 07:46:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Undiagnosed depression
yeebles ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:33:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used my laptop to remote log in to my desktop which sits on the desk at the end of the bed I was sitting on, to turn the volume up.
I used to have a lighter taped to some string hanging from the roof over my bed, so I didn't have to sit up to have a bong.
paqc2013 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:29:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is going to get buried but I have to anonymously share this disgustingly lazy thing.
I was sick, I was driving to school, I rolled my window halfway down to spit a giant loogie out the window. I missed the outside and spit a big honking yellow thing on the window of my truck. Without even a thought I simply licked it off the window and spit it out again.
After I did it, is when I thought I was the most disgusting human being on the planet.
paqc2013 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:52:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
that was my initial thought, but it was like 30 degrees outside and the window was cold, so in that split second it was on the window, it got cold, and I think that is where the grossness came from.
Yeah me too. It's not a big secret, I went to Georgia Tech. The year before I enrolled, the rolled out new software to test everyone's computer science work (everyone who went to Georgia Tech had to take CS, including Calvin Johnson, Matt Wieters, and Chris Bosh) and they caught and expelled tons of kids sharing code. How I got away with this, I shall never know!
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:07:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought new clothes because I didn't want to wash mine...
jon6897 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:31:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying down but needed to pee, waited for hours until i couldn't any longer, grabbed a mcdonalds cup and pissed in it, i was in the room connected to the bathroom
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:14:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Attached four straws to each other so I don't have to sit up or lift my head while laying on the couch and drinking my soda.
Had to suck extra hard as nearly nothing comes out this way, but I was determined not to move.
Was lying in bed and trying to make a decision about something that happened. Wanted to toss a coin for the decision. Purse was less than 2 ft away but downloaded a free coin toss app on phone instead.
timmo89 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:16:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanked into a condom (to avoid having to clean up)...then realised I would probably wank again very soon, so left the rubber on..
In the Army, logistics officer, got handed the keys to an old warehouse and told had 1 week to document and empty it to be handed over empty to another unit. Failure was not an option and there was no extensions of time it got forgot about and was now "his problem". Proceeded to call in a supply sergeant. "Sergeant take a message to be sent to all sub unit commanders. "With budget cuts as they are and budgets being further reduced in every budget cycle of the near future a warehouse of equipment has been made available but must be claimed within four days. Keys in hand at brigade logistics office, first come first served. Must turn in list of items procured. Gentlemen you know how this goes, if we don't use it they will think we don't need it and nothing more is likely to be given to us for quite some time. I await your responses." Sent Sergeant to send email, poured another cup of coffee, it was empty the next morning, documents were handed in of what each unit had grabbed the following afternoon with 5 days to spare. Never had to leave desk or pick up a phone.
Ephemeris ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:28:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lazy or efficient, you decide. I did the dishes in the shower.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On the microwave instead of typing in the exact time, I hit the +30 seconds button until I'm close to how long I want to cook my food so I don't have to be bothered to move my hand to different buttons.
moving this Saturday and i've only emptied out one bag of trash. i've lived here 5 years. instead of moving stuff i'm having a charity come pick up my furniture & i bought new furniture that i'm having delivered & assembled at my new apartment. Friday night is going to SUCK.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:00:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A buddy of mine will regularly eat Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup right out of the can. He's 42 years old.
K-Fabio ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:40:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought the shawshank redemption for 1$ on pay per view even though i owned it because I didn't want to get up to put the DVD in.
Anyone remember the Simpson's episode where homer and Mr burns are trapped in a cabin because homer caused an avalanche by banging on a table with his foot while reclined so he can get a can of soda to scoot closer to him?
Well I did this, on a glass coffee table so the tv remote could get closer to my feet, so I can then grab the remote with booth feet and flick it towards my body so I dint have to get up.
Needless to say, I smashed the table, cut my foot and had to clean up a shit ton of glass.... AND still had to get up to get the tv remote which fell on the floor and had the batteries spill out and roll under the couch.
Slept for 17 hours once in college during finals week. Or rather, I didn't get out of bed for 17 hours because it was winter. Bed was warm, and every time I woke up and looked out the window, it was dark outside. Couldn't tell if my clock meant AM or PM.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Winter...the world could be ending, but dammit my bed is warm
my bed was the same height as my window when i lived with my parents.
why would i get out of bed to pee?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:31:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The army owes me $1500, and to get it all I have to do is fax my orders to them. I've been too lazy to do it for almost 6 months now. I should probably do that tomorrow.
p01chi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Today!
DokiBon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:41 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have you done it yet?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:39 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
........no
DokiBon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:17 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Think of all the stuff you could be buying D8
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:37:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am the epitome of lazy, like I can hardly get myself to crawl out of bed and go to class every day, and even at the end of the day I don't feel like doing anything, even playing Battlefield, which I love to do. I just feel like there's no point in anything, so might as well just not do anything if you can help it you know?
Asked my sister for a Doritos loco taco the night before. Wake up when she puts one on my bed roll over go back to sleep. Wake up again roll over see taco, inch my face towards it unwrap with mouth eat it and blow wrapper off my bed roll over and go back to sleep.
I Will do almost anything to avoid breaking my blanket cocoons.
JayH1990 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:57:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ow, and sometimes when in LA, I used to lay outside by the pool in the sun and i would purposely not use the sunbeds because when it got too hot i would just roll from my towel over to the pool and drop myself into it like a seal :D then i would move myself out of the pool and roll over to my towel again
When I lost the TV remote a couple of years back I started using a broom handle to navigate the TV buttons from ~4 - 5 feet away. I did this for months until the remote decided to make a reappearance.
I have a couple of dogs and they sometimes bark a bit at night (at possums etc), as dogs sometimes do. I was getting tired if getting up at night and telling them to be quiet.
So I got one of those door bells that you can record any sound and play it back. I had the button next to my bed and the speaker bit in the backyard next to their kennel. I then recoded my voice saying "Quiet....QUIET! On your mat". Whenever they started barking a simple press of the button would send them quietly back to bed.
Last year, when Daylight Savings time started, I never set the clock in my room back. It lasted me that way all the way until Daylight Savings ended again in the Spring.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am doing this now. Can't be bothered, but my wife changed some in the house and I often times get confused. Not too bad though, as I usually go to sleep earlier because I think it's 1 hour later.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:51 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this with my car. The user's manual may as well be in ancient egyptian for all of the digital clocks it tells you how to set...
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:09:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was babysitting this kid, but really I was playing Super Mario Bros (because we didn't have a Nintendo at home.) The 5 year old kid kept trying to get my attention and wanted me to play with him. Finally he came up to me and said "I'm playing with matches." I never even took my eyes from the screen and asked "Are you supposed to be playing with matches?" "No." "Then stop it."
For some reason I was never asked to return. Maybe there were little burn matches all over the house. I wouldn't know.
luxoran ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:29:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Moved into a new apartment went to wash the one plate I owned didn't have a sponge so I took off the sock I was wearing and used that...I continued using the sock for at least 3 months until someone came and stayed with me and was so disgusted went to the store and bought me a sponge and soap.
During my final exam period, I didn't study. Spent that time playing DOTA and beer pong instead. I had 2 final exams, both of which I didn't show up to, because I didn't feel like studying and, more importantly, I didn't feel like waking up at 10 am to take them. My semester GPA that term was 0.
I think everyone knows what it's like to have an empty bottle/glass of water and there is juuuuuust enough water to hold the bottle/glass completely vertical so one pathetic drop can slide out, and somehow...it satisfies
beltaine ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:09:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Saw this on an old Bachelor Frog.
No clean plates/kitchen too far? Phone book. Tear off the pages when you're done down to the next clean ones. Bam.
kayelem87 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:11:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on the couch... Yelled to my mom asking her to bring me my phone from the other room. Once she did I used it to call her to ask her to turn off the light...
Knew I had to shower and wash my pants that day. Didn't want to get up so I just pissed in them.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:21:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be to lazy to open my water bottles and raise the bottle to my mouth to drink it, so I would chew the plastic on the bottom of the bottle and just lay on the couch. I could leave the bottle near my mouth a squeeze it, sending a small stream into my mouth.
lunder33 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:22:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when i was a kid. play video games for like 15 hours a day, have my mom bring back food, and sleep in the bed 5 feet away, repeat for a month.
Decided one day that getting food was deducting from my gaming time. Put a table by my computer desk with bread, a toaster and several jars of jam. Only moved for bed and work.
jb0356 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:18:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit my pants laying down. Rolled over and grabbed a baby wipe. Wiped. Stuffed poop paper in water bottle. Rolled back over. 5 minutes later repeated the situation thinking it was a fart this time.
In my defense I had dysentery in Afghanistan.
Also regularly rolled on my side and pissed in empty water bottles instead of walking to the piss tubes.
E-Mac ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:57:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was lying on my side in bed, hungover. A very flimsy plastic cup of water was on my night stand. I chewed a hole in the side of the cup rather than sitting up to drink it.
vervurax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
An early job I had was as a network technician for a call center that had about 500+ people on the phones at any given time. We were upgrading our switches. I was on the overnight shift and tasked with tracing each port to corresponding user and letting them know I was going to move them over to a new switch. I did about the first 10 or so users this way then decided to just unplug everyone at once and move them over. I immediately started getting calls over the radio that users workstations were having issues. I called back about 5 minutes later and advised I had isolated the issue and that rebooting should resolve the problem... spent the rest of the night playing Warcraft.
f26748 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:49:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This whole thread is just foul bachelor frog.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The memes will come.
stone500 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:26:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just last week, I was hanging out at my mom's, and she asked "What's your waist size for your jeans? Is it 34 or 36?"
"I don't remember."
"Well just look at the tag on the jeans you're wearing."
"I really don't want to get up and look, which means that it's probably 36"
noc007 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:32:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I need caffeine in the mornings. I can't be bothered to pour myself a cup of coffee and add the right mixture of creamer and sugar to get rid of the bitterness. Instead I spend a quarter (company subsidizes) at the soda machine for a Mt. Dew. Because it's winter and cold, I put the can next to my laptop's heatsink to bring the can down to room temperature. I'll even run a program that I know will max out one of the CPU cores just so it generates more heat and cranks up the fan.
I had an 8 am class in college. I woke up for it, got on the bus, decided not to get off the bus at the stop near my building, and rode the bus back to my apartment, and went back to bed.
xDJQ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:31:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably late to the party but. Eating a Subway Sandwich, I didn't have napkins, so I tore off some bread and used it to wipe mustard off my face, then ate it.
When I was really little I was falling asleep in my parents bed. My mom caught me picking my nose and yelled at me to clean it up. Instead of standing up an getting a tissue like she had intended, 5 yer old me simply placed the booger back into my nose and closed my eyes again.
q959fm ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:23:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used paper plates and disposable forks, knives, and spoons ... since 2003.
I haven't washed a dish since George W. Bush's first term.
In basic training I used these cloth covered rubberbands that had hooks (used to wrap around your leg then tuck your pants up underneath instead of into your boot) to "secure" my sheet and blanket to my bed. I saved countless amounts of time just waking up and NOT making my bed every morning...until the drill sergeant flipped everyone's bed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was born sleeping.. Parents had a mini freak out because I didn't come out crying like most babies.. Doctors had to give me oxygen to wake up, according to my Dad I opened one eye gave a grunt and fell right back to sleep. I was literally too lazy to stay awake through my own birth.
In Kuwait it was hot and required quite a long walk to go to the latrine. I already had all my clothes off, about to step into the showers (separate from the 'portajohn') when my stomach began to rumble. No one was in the showers with me, so I turned on the water and went for it. I had to mush it down the drain with my sandals. I got out as soon as I could in fear that someone would smell and immediately know who shit in the shower.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when mudbutt hits...mudbutt hits
I'll allow it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a couple of weeks holidays from my job a few years ago. Organised my room so I would only have to leave my bed to shit. Had a fridge set up within arms distance of the bed, a couple ounces of weed, TV, internet and games close by, a mountain of snack food and heaps of beer so I could keep loading the fridge, and a large wad of cash for food. Basically I'd order a delivery of fast food (pizza, Chinese, whatever), and my window was at the front of the house so I didn't need to leave the bed. The driver would arrive, I'd wave him over and we'd finish our transaction through the window. So for 2 weeks the only time I'd move was to shit in the bathroom, and occasionally empty the rubbish that accumulated over a fortnight.
Didn't eat for 36 hours. Laid on the couch the whole time because I can't function hungry. It became a vicious cycle of being too fatigued to figure out what to eat. I also get so picky and emotionally unstable when I'm hungry, even a little bit, that I get upset trying to figure out what to eat and everything stops sounding good.
I'm realizing people are going to tell me I have depression. This was a one-off occurrence, I eat so many times throughout the day and I can't imagine doing this again. I think I just get tired of having to eat sometimes because I have condition that makes me very nauseated if I eat a normal person's portion, so I have to figure out how to eat very frequently throughout the day to avoid feeling crappy and weak.
you should actually talk to a doctor about this, I felt/somtimes still feel this way, turns out i have pcos and pre diabetes. could be a semi serious thing.
Yeah, I had to go to a gastroenterologist about it and get an upper endoscopy because they thought it was an ulcer in my case. It's called patulous pylorus and it's a result of the stomach failing to do the proper contractions to push food through. Basically, my stomach didn't completely bounce back after I was really sick with a kidney infection. I didn't realize it was a symptom of either of the things you mention, though. I got bloodwork done at the time, so I hope they didn't miss anything, but I'll make sure to get it checked out if I get any other symptoms. Thanks!
After a night of drinking, I was in bed chugging a gallon of water. i was on one of those raised dorm beds and a buddy was sleeping on the floor. he wanted some water and i didn't wanna get up. The beer funnel was in arms reach though so I lowered the end and poured water down the funnel for him
rprpr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:14:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lost my job in July. Haven't done anything notable since.
My dude and I split up. Found a way out of my lease. Three weeks ago. Still haven't mailed it. Bc I have to go to the post office. I drive by the post office EVERY FUCKING DAY. I'm just too lazy to park? It's gonna make my life hell when the zillion dollar rent I'm supposed to pay at the end of the month, but fuck it right? (I have lawyers on it already. It's not going to affect me.)
TL;DR: fuck parking my car
ruzmafuz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:28:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Home alone for 1 week.
First night I ordered pizza.
The rest of the week I ate all my food out of that same pizza box.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:39:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
JayH1990 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:46:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when I was living alone in my apartment in germany for a while i kept a sleeping bag on my sofa in my living room and right next to it food and drink for me, my cat and my dog, so that i could sleep, hang out, work, do my homework, play with my dog and my cat and feed them all just from my sofa while watching Tv. then i just had to go for walks with my dog but i always made sure that i would combine those walks with a trip to the supermarket, taking the trash out etc. I tried to not eat and drink much since i wasnt moving much either, which meant that i also didnt have to get up very often to use the toilet. when i did have to use the toilet i made sure to also brush my teeth or shower etc. to safe myself another trip around the house. only could live that way so long though, then i started to feel unhealthy and had to get on a good diet and work out plan xP plus i got myself a job that couldnt be done from my pc ^
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:05:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the Military and I live on the 3rd floor of the barracks, the smoke pit is all the way downstairs and about 50 feet away from the building. Needless to say I don't smoke much anymore.
I used to have the same problem, except I lived on the first floor and was still too lazy to go outside. Would stuff a towel under the door, open the window, and blow smoke out. When the CQ(Charge of Quarters) would come knocking on doors shouting "WHO'S FUCKING SMOKING?" I wouldn't even open the door, just pretend I wasn't there. Never caught once.
My friend gave me the answer key for a test we were going to have the next day. I was too lazy to memorize it and just failed the test
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:07:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In "high" school, I stole the answer key from math class for EVERY TEST when we had a substitute teacher. Couldn't figure out a way to make it look legit, as I had to show work, so I just failed.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:54:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little, and already in bed, and the lights were still on, I would yell for my mom to come in, I would say "goodnight" and then on her way out, I would say "can you turn out the light?".
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had to kayak for a over a kilometer. Me and my partner grabbed hold of a passing boat that pulled us most of the way.
AM1492 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:14:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Using an empty gallon jug of milk to urinate inside of, instead of wasting gallons of potable water to flush it down with. Then I throw it onto my compost pile which consists of numerous scraps of food and leaves. I then use the super rich soil to grow my own weed.
DrMeine ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:39:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once copied and pasted letters from a reddit thread to create a url for a subreddit so I didn't have to move my hands and use the keyboard. That might be the opposite of lazy, but whatever.
erod1223 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:43:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a "staycation" at my sister's place. In short, watched the ultimate spiderman for 9 hours, ended up passing out. When I woke up, I moved to the couch and watched more spiderman until I passed out again. Didn't eat or shower or anything...just laid there and watched spiderman.
In my first year of uni, I was extremely hungover and couldn't leave my bed on coursework deadline day. So I downloaded an app to my phone to control my laptop from my bed. I then forwarded my coursework to my uni's networked printers, then rang a classmate to pick them up and submit them for me.
Got top marks, never even left my room.
ecatsuj ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:52:46 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to live across the road from a KFC... Needless to say I would get home delivery
In University me and my 2 roommates moved into a Duplex with no dishwasher, as fate would have it the dished began to pile up on the table beside the sink until eventually there were none left. At which point we bought a years supply of paper plates and cutlery and proceeded to dump the dishes into the garbage. RIP.
When I was 11 I took some leftover pie from Thanksgiving into my room and didn't finish it, it then sat in my room for 3 months and I never took the nasty pie in its dish back to the kitchen. One day I was hungry in my room, and didn't feel like going all the way to the kitchen. Then I spotted the pie. It was rock hard and tasted like death. I am not proud of that.
I was in bed and y A/C was on and it was really fucking cold. Instead of getting up and turning it off i just banged my fist against the wall till my mom came and asked me wtf i was doing. I asked her to turn the A/C off. My phone was there but couldnt be fucked unlocking
My best friend called me one day to confess to a self-professed laziness award.
She has two dogs.
One is a shitter.
One is a shit eater.
One day, while in her basement recovering from a hangover doing what hungover people do best: watching reruns of Housewives of Atlanta and eating Funyuns from the confines of her couch, the shitter dog took a big, grunting, I-don't-give-a-fuck shit on the floor.
So she called the shit eating dog into the basement.
Used the leg of my 2 month old daughter to knock the remote off of the coffee table and onto the floor where I tried to get my dog who isn't trained to pick it up and bring it to me all because I didn't want to get up and get it. Ended up watching the Queen Latifah talk show for the first time. It was like being interrogated by feds and shown pictures of mutilated family members for an hour. I finally just gave in and put a magazine over my eyes to try to go to sleep bc I didn't want to get up and turn the light off, it was a T.V. guide and the page I turned to happened to have none other than...you guessed it an ad for milk that had a cow that looked a lot like Queen Latifah.
I didn't know that had a name. Now I have to find a way to use that in casual conversation. Maybe even at Thanksgiving dinner.
bb46 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing... absolutely nothing.
arakk2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:56:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was leaving the house once (for reference I park my car in visitors parking area at the end of my neighborhood) and right when I sat in my car my dad calls me telling me to hurry home...he wanted me to give him the liquid paper...it was in the drawer at the table he was sitting at half an arms length away.
Maybe not the laziest thing, but I find myself doing this too frequently:
Have time to kill, turn on TV: I love this movie! Oh, sweet, it just started too. Oh, thats right I actually own this movie. Nah, better just watch it on network cable with commercial breaks and all rather than go fetch it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you just described 99% of the times I have watched the Shawshank Redemption
A bit late here! One time I had a cup that I was spitting sunflower seed shells into. I knocked it over (of course) and instead of going into the closet next to my room and grabbing a vacuum, I cleaned it up by hand. I was so lazy I made an easy fix take 10x as long. High schooler logic.
frerrets ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I will frequently buy gatorade for spitting containers, throwing the whole thing out instead of emptying it. I go through enough sunflower seeds a day that this is problematic for my budget.
Once I arrived early at home from the University, but I knew if my mom realized she'll put me to do a lot of housework, so I just hid until she called me to ask at what time was I planning to arrive and then told her I've been there the hole time studying, she was really mad, but it was worth it cause she did not wanted to talk to me so she didn't order me around either
Khan94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:09:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove to the mailbox
truthink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:24:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when I think of something funny, I grab a pen and write it down. If the pen's too far away, I convince myself that what I thought of ain't that funny. RIP Mitch.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:35:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Several times when I've felt like watching a movie that I own, I've torrented them instead of walking three feet to my DVD shelf.
bennyha1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
guilty as well. lol
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:57:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I used to work 3 blocks from home. I drove to work one day. On the way home, I blew all 3 stop signs. I got pulled over in front if my house with half my family out front.
I'm not the only one who does it. (Well, I don't anymore) Calculate exactly how many classes you can miss, how much you don't have to study, how much homework you don't have to do while in college to get an above average grade.
Oh and also, rather be hungry and get hunger headaches than getting up and walking to the cafeteria.
While yawning I grabbed a glass of water. When the yawn was over, kept my mouth open and poured some water in.
At the moment, taking advantage of the fact that my mouth was already open to get a free sip of water out of it felt both like a stroke of genius and total retardation.
In high school when I wanted to call someone off the cordless home phone, but didn't want to get out of bed, I used to hide my caller ID and call my home number from my mobile phone. I would then put on a different voice and ask to speak to x (my name). Someone would then bring me the phone, thinking it was a call for me.
This is also the most stoner thing I've done. Went to sleep real high Lying on my chest with the pillow under my neck. Realised I was starting to choke but did nothing. No suicidal thought just massive laziness. Turned over panting out of breath
You know that 90 second microwaveable rice? Well I just put it in for 88 seconds because it's pretty much the same thing except I don't have to move my finger from the 9 to the 0.
I was out a a bar with a few friends sitting in the outdoor section as usual. After about an hour I get hungry but they aren't serving food outside because it rained earlier in the day. I don't want to go inside and get a table because it's beautiful out and i don't want to wait by the bar for my food because it is crowded and loud in there. So I did what any rational person would do, call the bar to order take out and 15 minutes later walk out the side gate around the crowded bar
to the front desk, pickup my food and walk back to my table out back. Half an hour later my friends followed suit. That was a delicious burger.
My story is how it backfired. In high school, hanging out at my friend's house, her mom came in her room with the vacuum and told her she had to vacuum her room. We were too busy being teenage girls to be bothered with such tasks, but we realized that pushing the vacuum along the carpet gave it those "fresh vacuumed carpet lines". Essentially we vacuumed without plugging it in...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:10:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching TV in the living room and wanted to close the door. Instead of leaning over to the left side of the couch, I threw all 4-5 couch cushion in order to close the door.
Hurgurka ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:15:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really late with this one, a few years back I lived above a fried chicken shop with friends.
At one point we made an agreement with the owners of the restaurant that we could lower a plastic bucket down with our money and order details, then when it was ready they'd just fill the bucket with chicken and drinks, this went on for over a year, we never actually went into the shop more than once...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I almost never comment on things here, but I felt compelled to a.) Salute you, b.) ask if you wouldn't mind sharing landlord information because I would like to rent this place for far above market value.
VALHALLA
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:17:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i have a computer setup in my living room with a wireless keyboard and mouse. ill often leave the keyboard in my entertainment center and my mouse on the couch. Instead of getting up and grabbing the keyboard, ill open up my internet history and six degrees of kevin bacon my way through imdb until i find a movie i want to watch, copy the title and paste it into netflix.
Once I ordered chinese food to a hotel room but they didn't bring me a spoon to eat my soup with, so I ordered Ice Cream from room service rather than walking down to the lobby to get a spoon from the kitchen or whatever.
hilwil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I ran out of toilet paper, so instead of walking the block to the drug store I called a pizza place and asked them to throw in a roll of toilet paper for an extra two bucks. After a little uncomfortable laughter they agreed. It was awesome.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:44:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laziest thing I've ever done? I'm so lazy that I didn't even do it.
Junoda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
About a month ago now I woke up for class and I was still super tired. In an attempt not to look lazy in front of my parents i drove to school but around halfway there I decided I was way too tired to drive, so I pulled into a parking lot, climbed in the back seat, and took a nap.
About an hour later a bike cop in short-shorts comes up and pounds on my window and asks what I'm doing. Being too tired and lazy to deal with angry cops, I complied with everything they told me, in the hopes that they'd go away faster. Unbeknownst to me, I had weed in my pocket from the night before and was arrested and sent to jail for the night. Laziness can be deadly, kids. Empty your pockets every night, and don't sleep in public places.
Keep forgetting to turn off xbox and husband complains about it, we have our bed lofted so going up and down ladder is a pain. I taught my dog how to turn it off and told him she just does it out of curiosity.
Esthreel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:05:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching an episode of Simpsons. It was the only file in that folder, so when it ended, the episode just started playing again from the beginning. I was to lazy to go to my PC to stop it, so I just watched it again.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:58:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ever heard of someone cutting a hole in their undies so they wouldn't have to pull them down to take a shit? Yup I haven't done it but my dad had his own special pair of undies... lol xD
Unless you properly maintain your mustache. That shit takes work.
Northy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:35:48 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT, I'll often be troubleshooting a PC that I've brought up to my room and instead of swiveling my chair left to work on it I'll just remote into it.
Back in highschool I drove a 94 ford f150. Its a ford so something of course was going to go wrong. That something was reverse. I was too poor and too lazy to fix it. My solution was, if i was going anywhere i wasnt sure i was going to be able to park on a hill or pull straight out of i would call up one of my friends to come with me so they could push me backwards out of a parking spot. I never told them thats why i invited them to doctor appointments or a quick trip to the grocery store. If i couldnt find anyone able to ride along i would just have to call the day a wash and do it later.
Toxic842 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:17:29 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once stole a wheelchair from the hospital and convinced my neighbors I couldn't walk so they'd walk my dogs for me.
I slept through an entire day once. Went to bed around midnight and woke up at 6pm. I decided it wasn't worth the hassle to get up for less than 6 hours so I just rolled over and went beck to sleep
Used Windows Xp x64 in Portuguese for nearly a year after I downloaded the wrong ISO and was to lazy to install again. I only speak German or English of course.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:41:01 on December 12, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sink full of horrid dishes. My friend is over and we want some water. Dishes are so high we cannot hope to fit a glass between the faucet and dish mountain.
Too lazy to cook, so the grease trough for the George Foreman Grill is clean as a whistle. Used it as an aqueduct to pour water into a glass held at the edge of the counter in front of the sink.
We were both proud and ashamed of how proud we were.
b31415 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:33:17 on January 20, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
had dirty socks in my shoes but i didn't want to go all the way upstairs and put them in the laundry, so i took them and put them in my brothers shoes, iv'e been doing this ever since and when my brother comes home at the end of the week he finds like six pairs waiting inside his shoes
Girl Scout leader here... Meeting in a few minutes and my daughter didn't have the latest award badges/patches affixed to her vest yet. (The horrors! And here I'm the leader of her troop.) It required a hot iron, but that was upstairs, too lazy to go plug in and iron it on... so what's the next best thing? Coffee pot was still hot from making coffee, so I used that to heat up glue on the patches and "iron" on the vest. It stayed on until I could get to it another day... ;)
joeltei ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:29:11 on March 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
searched a song on YouTube for the sake of not opening iTunes
I've been too lazy to hang out with any of my friends for the last few years..Even when they offer to come over and just watch movies, I feel like just being around them is too much work.
I also routinely call/text my boyfriend nothing but the word help, just so he will come find me so I can ask him to bring me food/drink. I can't believe I'm not a fat-ass yet. Luckily he thinks this is funny.
Edit; spelling.
j4ux ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:57 on May 11, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
One Christmas my mother told me to turn the tree lights off before I went to bed. The tree was awkwardly stuffed in the corner of the room so I had to crawl under it to turn the lights off. Couldn't be bothered to crawl back out. Slept under the tree.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:43:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My calculator was always in my bag right next to me when I did my math and science homework, but I was too lazy to get it out of my bag, so I did all of the math by hand.
drbuttjob ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 04:01:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
for some reason that seems like the opposite of lazy
Wzup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:43:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went my whole 7th grade spring break with no shower, never brushed my teeth, and I laid around everyday playing games. I changed my underwear and put on deodorant so at least I did that much.
After a long day on two hours of sleep due to the previous long day, I came home and collapsed into bed. I had make-up and the days sweat on my face. Rather than get up and at least wipe down my face, I used a glass of water on the night stand and the edge of my sheet to wipe my face and remove the majority of my make-up. Then I let it stay there for four days until, I had a few days off.
Let's discuss the laziest thing you've tried to do. About a month into dating, your dog puked in the bed. Your solution to this was to throw a towel over it. We did not throw a towel over it. But the disappointed look on your face when I made you wake up and help change the sheets was one of kind.
akbens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:33 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wife is that you? That's just wrong man. So wrong. I thought we had something.
I layed in bed fapping, then after I finished, I fell asleep instead of cleaning up my belly.
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 02:45:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I fell asleep with a vibrator between my legs and a buttplug still inside of me. To be fair, I'd only gotten an hour and a half of sleep the night before. Aaaah school.
atn9009 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:49:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am laughing so hard because I think you may be my roommate, are you? Emily-is that you? Hhahahahahahahhahhha............. I mean, I am crying I am laughing so hard because this is something that would happen in my household.
After getting comfy in bed, I yell for my mother saying Ive hurt myself badly. As she sprints into my room, I assure her that Im ok and that since she is here, she should shut off my lights because I dont want to leave bed and walk across the room.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt would call her son on the phone line in his room to tell him to come get the remote for her. It would always be o the night stand a short reach from the bed.
azmanz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In the dorms, sent an IM (lol old) to my roommate to tell him to watch what was on TV. He was 12 feet away.
Prismine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my roommates laziness reaches new levels of amaze almost constantly. One thing he started doing recently was paying twenty dollars per load to have his laundry washed and folded.
Accidently dropped remote once. Was to lazy to pick it up and turned off TV by pressing remote button with a toe. Then left remote lying on the floor for several hours.
I used to have to travel close to two hours on trains and buses to get to uni. Had two one hour classes one day which I skipped and ended up playing card games all day with my friends. I failed attendance on one class. My friends and I were the laziest bunch who hardly ever went to classes. We were like stoners who didn't do weed.
Lono37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
VCR clock, the only one in my college house, was one hour behind for all daylight savings time. Then, suddenly one day it was right again. Yay laziness.
I've not eaten for 2 days because I didn't want to eat anything that i had the was pre-package or microwave anything. I'm not sure if pissing under my bed when i was little because i didn't want to walk 10 feet to the bathroom might top that
Wheaux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
spit in toilet, missed and hit rim.
peed at spit, got it in, pissed on seat.
celieus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laying on the floor as a kid couldn't reach the tv remote that was also on the floor. instead of changing position to reach tv remote i watched cpac(canadian goverment channel) for four hours.
Just had a 3 day weekend(work in the hospital, have one every other weekend). I barely left bed all 3 days. This is a regular occurance of my weekends
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was beating it on the couch but left my cum sock on the floor out of reach. I took of my pajamas, held one leg, and kept tossing the other leg over at the sock trying to "fish" it over. By the time I finally got the sock my boner was gone and I had lost interested in masturbating. I continued to watch TV with my pants off.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Peed in a cereal bowl in my room to avoid middle of the night bathroom trip. It sat there for 24 hours before I dumped it out.
To lazy to get off the couch to grab something to eat. I don't think I ate that day.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In high school, many times I waited until the next morning to print my completed assignments "because I was tired". Sometimes I'd e-mail my assignment to myself so I could print it at school the next morning.
I was too lazy to jerk off so I had my girlfriend do it for me.
ITGCYS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:21:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to either unplug headphones or put them in my ears. Decided if the volume wasn't high enough for me to hear the audio from the headphones on the desk, then I didn't want to watch it anyways.
Peed in an empty beer can to avoid walking downstairs to the bathroom. I'm mostly ashamed of this.
Aethos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my roomie. We were about to leave the house and I was standing by the doorway, he was still in the kitchen LITERALLY a foot from the light switch. I tell him we best hurry if we wanna make our movie and he nods. I tell him not to forget to turn off the light, and what does he do? He proceeds to walk PAST me just a foot out the door more than me, wave his hand towards the kitchen and murmur.
I called my sister from the basement about 30 times to try and get her to bring me a snack. When she eventually just turned off her phone, I realized she had a snack cupboard in the basement, so I ate all her cupcakes.
goyotes78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I've been paying for Dish Network since February even though when I moved I got a new cable provider. I pay $100 a month for a service I don't use because I don't want to deal with packing up the receivers and take them to the post office.
I was too lazy to fill out the paperwork to apply to med school, instead just went for a PhD with the prof I did my 4th year thesis with. I think that if I did do the paperwork I'd have a good chance.
Not bothering to remember a story about being lazy in a thread about being lazy.
Wait, this has now just happened in the past... And I remember it, and told the story. This should be on that stoner meme! Meh, too lazy.
thehyd3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Not me, but my brother put a metal chair in the shower so he didn't have to stand.
This was when we were both in high school and when people would come over, they would end up in the bathroom somehow and would ask why it was there...I thought it was obvious, what else is a chair for?
EDIT: Thought I should add, he told me used to piss in the shower too. I don't mean when he was already taking a shower. Although I never really saw how that was easier.
We did this in my dorms in hs. Every stall had a chair. Amenities :)
Kairos27 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I setup a remote desktop control app on my ipad so that I could remotely control my desktop computer, situated just 2metres from my bed, to watch movies, browse the web etc.
Setting it up probably wasn't lazy, but afterwards, the laziness was never ending. :D
awe8bit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Which app are you using?
Kairos27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wyse pocketcloud
plodling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:55:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Using my pyjama shirt that I'm wearing as a tissue... 99% of the time I'm in pyjamas as well so just proves I'm a lazy ass fuck haha. Not proud of what I do though :(
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:58:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, this is something I do constantly. I pick things up from the floor with my feet. They are surprisingly nimble!
Probably when I tried to turn off my light once, I made an "apparatus" by putting a sock onto a really long stick. Took around 15 times, but I did it, felt like a real accomplishment.
Quebecer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:24:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called back the pizza delivery guy, so he could buy me a pint of milk.
Kenedyne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once tied a string to my light switch so I could turn off my lights from my bed. But then it broke, and I'm too lazy to fix it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:32:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I completed about 90 credits to finish up my associates degree (im slow on my GE)... I never filled out the paperwork to actually get an associates
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:33:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would write it, but I'm too lazy.
venusdc3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:36:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
pissing in the bathroom sink when doing my hair and stuff because going in the toilet would require me to move to the right
Moobl4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:37:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Its_3AM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:37:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was born, I literally didn't put any effort into it at all, my parents did all the work and then I cried because they made me breath my own air.
therus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:38:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually tried to convince myself that I had telekinetic powers so I could move the tv remote from the coffee table into my hand. It didn't work but I needed to go to the bathroom afterwards from straining so much.
Back in the days when PCs had tv cards I used to watch TV from my bed on my computer. Before going to sleep I had to get up and turn the computer off (it's noisy you know). So I wrote my first visual basic program that checked if the TV software was still active and if not it shut down the computer
Note : tv card had a remote and you could close the tv software from the remote.
Stelfury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remember getting a tv card for my pc. That shit was hype.
I was too hungover to try and find my shoes and then tie them up, so I walked 10 mins to the local Target and bought a pair of thongs.
Was less mentally taxing I guess...
Stelfury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now everyone who only know thongs as female underwear are imagining someone walking around with female underwear on their feet.
tiyx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:00:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Copy/pasted letters with my mouse to do a Google search so that I did not have to sit up and use the keyboard.
Shevacai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The amount of times I've done that. I get sick of propping myself up on my elbow to type, and constantly fuck up what I'm typing, so I just copy and paste.
i don't open my eyes in the morning, i just turn the lights on then go to the bathroom and take a shower with closed eyes. The burning is just to much.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:51:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of going downstairs to go to the bathroom, I pissed out the window.
In the basement there are two 42 inch TVs right next to each other with an Xbox and computer. In front of those TVs there is an old couch that I can't lay on without 30% of my body hanging off.
It's not often that I sleep in my own bed because of the fact that the bed is upstairs and there's always Netflix streaming.. and I mean the bedroom is directly upstairs. I would walk like 20 feet and be in my bed.
TL;DR: Instead of going to a comfortable bed upstairs I sleep on the uncomfortable love seat in front of two 42 inch TV screens.
mkjf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:07:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
enrolled an art appreciation (elective subject) instead of Java Solaris because the elective subject was in the same room as my morning class.
Stationed overseas and living in a dorm building. Fire alarm went off at 3 AM in the morning. Covered my head with my pillow and went back to sleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this in college. I had a suite dorm. 2 bedrooms, one shared bath.
The fire alarm went off probably every night...so I would just grab my pillow and blanket and sleep in the bathtub. Not sure why, but the firemen never checked the shared bathroom.
Using only my right hand to work my keyboard and mouse because my left hand is holding my head up. I'm also on Reddit in class and have been working on this project for the last month... I could finish it in a day. Taking my sweet time
My 2 year old daughter thinks it's really cool to retrieve something for Mom and Dad. I was really cold the other day so I asked her to get the extra blanket from my bed. Win-win: I get my blanket and she gets to be helpful.
I lay in bed with a hockey stick next to me so i just can reach over 6 feet to turn off the light/close the door.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:29:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a preschool and I often get the kids to deliver messages to other teachers in the same room, fetch me something or pick things up for me.
krhsg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:31:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lived in a tiny crappy studio apartment (with very very crap internet). Watched Jurassic Park on DVD 3 times because I was too lazy to change it. Got a bit bored of the movie, so when I watched it the fourth time, I changed the language to French (I don't speak French).
To clarify: I watched the same movie four times in a row, once in a language I don't speak, because I was too lazy to walk five feet.
I used to masturbate a lot and not be bothered to get a tissue or something, so I'd sleep in it.
Used to.
nsahaze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:40:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
bassri ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:42:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not thinking about the laziest thing I've ever done
tevsen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:44:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
upvote for everyone who was to lazy to post something.
elkie3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:45:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bread sandwich.
RosieJo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:47:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a pet rabbit when I was a kid... Anyone whose seen rabbit poop will know it consists of tiny dry balls of non-pungent fiber. Being the good rabbit owner that I was the rabbit would have about an hour of exercise every day when I would let it run around the sitting room in the winter. We never succeeded in house-training the little fucker, so when the hour was up I'd pick up all his poop and throw it behind the TV.
partenon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:50:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
QU4Dv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:01:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a month long spanish project due the day of my dad's retirement. I stayed home to go to it and explained to her that I thought it was on saturday (it was on a friday) and that I could present it the next thursday I had her. I ended up getting sick that day and now I have this whole thanksgiving week to do it. I still haven't touched it and I'm just sitting here reading about how lazy you all are.
When I was younger I had a tv that was shitty. My grandparents didnt allow me to have cable in my room so when I wanted to watch tv I had to fiddle with this wire to get anything to show up much like the antennas tvs had back in the old days.. (This was before the digital switch)
Often times the tv would cut out and get that static screen and I'd go from waching 24 to static. I was often too lazy to get out of bed so I'd sit in my room for hours or sometimes minutes before the tv just turn itself off as it also randomly did that from time to time.
When I was younger I was to lazy to wear the seatbelt. In order to not make my mother angry, I made a 'click' sound so she would think that I used the seatbelt.
Freeoath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:33:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I lived in my old house my best friend lived downstairs. One day I ordered a pizza from thw couch, when it arrived I called my friend downstairs and asked if he wanted pizza so ofc he came up. Outside my door he met the pizza guy. I asked him to pay cause I had transfered money to him from my phone while watching tv. I did not move from the sofa that whole day
kleini ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:46:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a good story, and would type it here, but ... you know...
Basiritz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:46:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once watched a movie on youtube that I owned on DVD because I didn't want to walk down the hall to get it.
Used my cellphone to call my little brother who was a floor above me, telling him to come down to the tv room as fast as possible. Upon entry I asked him to hand me the remote on the table just out of arms reach from where I was laying on the couch
I'm a little late to this party, but in college, I was a resident assistant to my best friend's little sister. My best friend were over and we were really enjoying the fine movie "10 Things I Hate About You". After it was finished, we were already so snuggly in my bed, that we didn't want to get up to shut the door and turn off the light so we could nap. Instead, my friend called her sister and told her to come to the room for something important. She might have rolled her eyes and judged us for what we asked, but she turned off the light and we had a glorious Sunday afternoon nap.
Not me, but when I was a kid my family and I were vacationing in a rented cabin with a screened in porch. After dinner we all were all gathered on the porch to watch the sunset sitting in rocking chairs. My mother had brought out her drink to finish and had placed it on the coffee table in front of her. After a few minuets of silence, she points forward to her beverage, wags her finger and says "get that for me". I was flabbergasted and just sat there in shock
/amazement because her finger wasn't more than 3" away from her drink. When my father laughed and asked why she couldn't reach it, her only response was "because I'm on vacation".
I once had a friend who did a load of laundry and left it outside on the line to dry. A few days passed and her clothes were still on the line and they began to smell because it rained the night before. She was too lazy to wash her clothes again so she just Febreezed them.
Pretty late but I have a good one. Some friends and I were getting drunk in Atlantic City and decided to continue the process at a penny slots machine to save money before the real gambling. I took the plastic bag I had from purchasing a 40 oz. wrapped the handle around the pull arm, and proceeded to grab the bag by the bottom so didn't have to raise my arm more then a few inches and could still lean back in the chair.
I'd set my phone alarm to wake me up in 20 minutes, and then go to sleep in one of the office bathroom cubicles. When we got a server room nearby, it was even better... I could just master key into the room and pass out on a long, deep shelf near the racks. I left a pillow there.
I did this cumulatively, for at least an hour everyday. Not a real morning person. Or a late afternoon one for that matter. Or actually, any time whatsoever.
Spent ten years riding bikes, smoking, traveling, and playing with my friends after high school in lieu of pursuing a career. Just now getting started on college.
G0ATLY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a string of yarn tied to my light switch to my bed post.. I have sticky tack and knots around the switch and loops around the bed post.
eazyd69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took a shower and was too lazy to bend down and wash my legs and feet.
Remotely connected to a laptop I was working on that was sat right next to me because I couldn't be bothered turning 45 degrees and disrupting my current comfy working position.
Had a piece of food stuck in my teeth, too lazy to find floss, bit/peeled off the edge of my thumbnail and used it as a pick. Bonus: no need to find nail clippers either.
In high school we had summer reading. We got to pick from a list of books to read over the summer then write a report about it within the first week of school. I completely forgot until last minute so I chose a book on the list that I figured the teacher probably hadn't read, The Andromeda Strain. Instead of reading it or using spark notes I happened to catch the first half of the movie on TV. Didn't even bother finishing the movie and then wrote my report based on that making up the last half of the story. Expected a C, got an A+ with notes about the excellent quality of writing. I still like to believe the teacher believes my version of the story is how it really happened.
khoskamr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I lived with my parents their dogs would like to come in and out of my room multiple times in the night. If I shut them out they would scratch at the door until I got up to let them in. I attached a cord to the top of the door and ran it through i bolts around the edge of the celling, to a weight hung within arms reach while I was laying in bed. I attached another equal weight running the opposite direction. So if I lifted up on the weight by my bed, the weight attached to the door would pull it open. To close the door I would pull my weight back down. Worked like a dream.
Downloaded a movie even though i have a dvd version downstairs
Ripl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Lazy and cheap. Froze my ass off for two weeks without a winter jacket because I was too lazy to go buy one. Ordered online instead and didn't want to pay for faster shopping, so I took the free, slow ass shipping.
I work 3 doors away from a coat store.
SaidMail ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was playing Red Faction Guerillla on Xbox. Wanted to change the game to an arcade game (Braid if I remember correctly), which means it's stored on the hard drive, so I don't need to get up and change the disk or anything. All I need to do is press the middle home button and navigate through some menus. I ended up not playing braid because I couldn't be bothered moving my thumb to the middle of the controller
My former roommate used to sit on the couch playing video games, with a ceiling light/fan directly above where he was sitting. It had one of those pull strings that came down to turn it on/off and was literally inches out of reach from his slouched position of laziness. I would be in the other room and he'd call me with a serious tone "Hey, can you help me for a sec?". Then I'd come in and he'd ask me to turn the fan on/off.
I'd usually do it because it cracked me up how lazy he was.
On my phone, if I accidentally hit the upvote or downvote button while trying to get the minimize child comments button, I just tell myself that that person probably deserved it for some reason instead of trying to fix my mistake.
While the legwork wasn't lazy, it was an investment. My roommates and I set up a model train set in our living room so we could pass a bowl while laying down on our 3 couches.
Isvara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:29:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downloaded an AV receiver remote app for my phone while I was lying on the couch so that I didn't have to get up and change the input.
Too drunk to get up but forgot to pee before I went to bed. There was a gallon jug of orange juice about 3/4 finished so I drank the rest and peed in the jug.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was a gallon jug of orange juice about 3/4 finished so I drank the rest and peed in the jug.
My Phone Charger runs up to my night stand which is inches from my bed. Instead of rolling over like two feet on my queen bed to plug in my phone, I just laid there. I fell asleep. My Phone Died.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this every Friday night!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently a nanny (shitty job, don't do it) and I'm always making dinner then doing dishes for everyone (five of us). But once it comes to making food for myself, I usually just drive to some place for a bagel because I'm too lazy to make food and do the dishes just for myself.
Made a system of pulleys consisting of fishing wire and big washers as weights just so I could close the door and not get up from bed. I was a teenager at the time and my mom ALWAYS left my door open.
zorga ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:55:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
downloaded movie that I already had as a DVD which was on the shelf behind the TV
I was watching T.V. as a kid and the remote was slightly out of my reach. I phoned my mum who was downstairs said "Come up here quick it's an emergency!" She promptly ran up the stairs, with a scared look on her face. I asked her to pass me the remote. She did it.
henney22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:56:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
When I was younger my parents owned a multi-family home, but had a furnished basement where I lived. With a bathroom, small work sink/ work room, a second living room thing. This all connected to the hallway just outside the kitchen. One day I came home from football practice completely stoned... it was a great training day hahaha. Any how as expected I got hungry, its important to note that the layout of my down stairs mini apt was living room, two feet from the wall was my room and across was a bathroom which had a small hallway leading about 4 feet into stairs. I got so lazy once my ps2 was turned on, instead of having to go up stairs, grab diner sit there and talk to my family. I ordered a bbq chicken calzone, my youngest brothers favorite calzone. Called the house from my cell and told me brother that if he brought my calzone down he could eat as much as he wanted. Soon I decided to make more lazy and asked him to also turn the tv on. I had forgotten where the remote was. In the end I was so tired/stoned/lazy I fellasleep before my food got there and passed out. My brother got a free calzone and use of my ps2. Slept for 2 days : /
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A basement where you loved eh?
henney22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lived... :/ * facepalm. Though I can say this with some sort of a tear in my eye, there was no living in that basement. Unless you can't JILL...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:56:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paid about $80 for a remote controlled light switch so I wouldn't have to get off my bed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
b2damaxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to copy and paste letters from the current web page in order to type anything instead of using the actual keyboard. There was nothing wrong with the keyboard.
0and18 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kept a pee bottle in two different rooms. If I have to explain what a pee bottle is......
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Howard?
0and18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My Mormon nurses say I should not respond
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:00:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So what happens when that dies?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
iphone app
Jagair23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I jacked off a couple of times and nutted, from the great feeling and the tiredness of choking the chicken.... Never wiped it off me... Woke up with a crusty dick
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah,,, the "Gentleman's Nap".
simcole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back in college I was in a fraternity that used to party pretty hard. We had a party one friday night and it ended about 2am. Me and another brother were t done drinking yet so we just sat around passing a bottle of Jack Daniels back and forth while watching some action movie on tv. Come 3am we're so drunk we can't move and the movie goes off and turns into some infomercial. I'm laying on the couch and He tells me to grab the remote which is literally 2 inches past the reach of my fingers. If I shifted my weight on the couch or rolled I could grab this thing no problem but I could also fall off the damn thing too since I'm so wasted. I told him I can't reach so he did the only logical thing. He picked up the phone and called his pledge and screamed it was an emergency to come right over. This apartment was like 10 minutes from campus and this bleary eyed pledge walks in panting because he ran up to the apartment expecting some sort of real emergency. In a panic he asks, "what's wrong?" My brother says "Hey hand me the remote". The pledge hands it over and more emphatically repeats, "what's wrong?" My brother looks at him and says, "nothing now" and changes the channel. The poor pledge was dumbfounded and laughed about it the next day.
This was 9 years ago. This pledge and me just went to a concert last month together and had a great time. He remains one of my best friends and we get to laugh about that night every once in a while.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I totallt understand, that level of drunk is hard.
I have a bathroom in my bedroom....and a sink at the foot of my bed....ive passed up going in to the bathroom to piss....passed pissing in the sink....so I pissed in a two liter....just so I did not have to stand up to pee.
420ish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:06:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The bulb went out in my bathroom so I would take shits and showers without the light on. I would have to leave the door open so I could somewhat see what I was doing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:07:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The landlord needed to do some work in what was my bedroom, and it was gonna take 2 days.
I moved my mattress into the kitchen between the fridge and the bathroom door. I never moved back into the bedroom, and stayed there for another two months until I moved out.
dan7888 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went back to Washington, DC for a visit a few years back and I wasn't prepared for how cold it was (about 25 degrees F) which forced myself and my lady friend to visit the nearest retailer to buy gloves, hats, etc. After looking at dozens of gloves I almost decided on a pair for about $12 on the second floor of the store. I decided to keep looking and the only pair on the bottom floor was for $40. I was tired of shopping and very lazy, bought the expensive pair. Could have walked 20 steps and grabbed the cheap one, nope!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll tell you later.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I
theloyd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Leaned back in my chair while browsing Reddit on my computer,and rather than lean forward again to continue,I pulled out my phone to browse on that.
edge2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to wash dishes, too lazy to go out and buy plastic disposable dishes... I fashioned my own out of tin foil, for a year of college.
edit: I should mention I did have dishes that I dirtied at the beginning of this year. 1 year later they went down the residence garbage disposal, unwashed.
SkoveDog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I knew I didn't have clean socks for the next day and didn't feel like doing laundry, so on my way home from work I stopped and bought a package of brand new socks for the week.
It was over six years between when I picked up my passport application and when I sent it in. I had to get a whole new set of pictures taken because the original ones were too far out of date.
In college I was 2 doors down from the bathroom. On multiple occasions I peed in a bottle in my dorm and threw it out the window instead of walking the 10 feet to the bathroom....
bw1870 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. Tons of shit to do and I stay on the couch doing nothing.
In college, my roommates pushed a living room chair into my room in the hopes that I would put it away since it was in the way of everything. I instead walked on and over that chair each day for the rest of the year.
When I microwave things that need any time plus 30 seconds, I'll just do 33 seconds so I don't have to move my finger down to the 0. Ex, if my soup needs 1:30, I'll press 1:33.
easyjet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've ordered a CD online for next day delivery rather than look for it in the house where I know I already have it.
I ran out of Diet Mtn Dew and was feeling sleepy, so I ordered and ate a whole pizza so I could justify having some 2-liters delivered.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend and I take turns taking care of each other when we're hungover. One morning i woke up, not hungover, realizing I didn't want to do anything that day. So I pretended to be hungover as my boyfriend did everything I wanted him to do (cook food, refill my glass, bring me snacks) as I lied on the couch and watched Netflix. At a point, I wanted to skip to the next episode, when I realized the controller was about a foot away from my hand and I didn't want to move. I called him to come change it for me.
ggushea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Connected ten straws together as one "mega straw" so that I could lay down on my couch with my beverage of choice on the floor and still be refreshed.
I've thought about buying aquarium tubing from pet smart and running a line from my dresser to my bed.
awco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday at work, I tried to build a solution (code) that I work on often and I got a single error saying that a reference couldn't be found. So I just reddited all day
I was driving home from school after just have a very lazy day. I got to the front of house to park when it started to rain. So insted of going into the house feet away I slept in my car all night then woke up and went back to school. It was 6 o'clock when it started to rain.
YetiGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:53:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have two. I have used a cat as a napkin on more than one occasion. And once I decided to go to sleep on the couch because I was too lazy to get up and go to bed.
When I was in High School, my best friend and I rearranged his entire room, so that we would never have to move to do anything we wanted to do. We set up his couch, his tv, his ps2, his radio within reaching distance of this black pole we called "The lazy pole." We spent an entire winter doing nothing but smoking bowls and playing San Andreas without ever having to move from the couch.
We also would take our shoes off and throw them at the light switch to turn the light off.
I'm assuming you're looking for something more prolific than "nothing"?
I'm a mother. I don't know how many times I've made my kids bring me stuff. HAHA when they're little, they're extremely happy to help, and you just tell them what a good job they did, and feel like they're on top of the world the rest of the day. Kids are pretty awesome sometimes. <3
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:16:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went into a pizzeria, ordered a pizza and asked for it to be delivered. Argued with the dude, gave him an address, and then took the bus.
Arrived at my destination at the same time as the pizza dude. To his puzzled look I answered I didn't want to carry the pizza myself.
I knew that my roommate had left the living room TV remote upstairs in the hall.
I chose instead to duct-tape a broom handle to a yardstick to a pencil so i could lay on the couch and change channels. None of those items required me to walk up the stairs....
Think of all of the people who are so meta they didn't even bother to post.
LoyalT90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I watched Pretty Woman twice on TBS, back-to-back, during college. After the first one ended, I noticed the remote was up on the TV stand and I was six feet away on the couch.
I was lying in bed redditing when my cat decided to get between me and my phone. Rather than move the cat or adjust my phone to one side, I dropped it and took a nap.
stayed unemployed for 5 months while using most of my money to order food and drugs to my house and not really leaving my living room or bathroom. gained about 96 lbs and prestiged 10 times.
Automated myself out of a job, never told anyone and now I sit back, relax, and read reddit all day. Oh and I sometimes will go days without eating because I'm too lazy to go to the shop and buy something.
0ttr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
allowed nearly an entire year of unopened mail to pile up on my dresser... I don't know why.
My daughter just texted me a screencap of this post, saying "There are so many things I want to post here.
Us texting and calling eachother within the house, D and I sleeping uncomfortably close because we didn't want to unfold the futon, you watching Netflix on your phone while laying in front of the tv because you don't want to get the remote- and I'm too lazy to type out a long comment. The irony. "
I'd post a screencap of her screencap, but I'm too lazy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
New puppy likes to jump off bed for a walk right before I go to sleep every night. Solution: I started keeping a cage by the bed and locking her in it when she jumps off so I can sleep.
Too lazy to take my phone out of my pocket to answer a text. No big deal, log on to Google Play store via laptop, install Mighty Text on my phone from my laptop, install the program on my laptop, text people from my browser.
nitsujle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine texted me to pass him the chips when we were maybe 10 feet from each other, the chips in the middle.
In 10th grade, I didn't know what classes to sign up for the next year, so I just picked AP Chemistry and figured I would decide what I actually wanted over the summer. I kept putting it off until July 20th, the very last day I had to change my classes. I suddenly realized it was my last day to drop chemistry, but I'd didn't feel like getting out of bed. I took an entire year of AP Chem because I was too lazy to get out of bed one day in the summer.
I got a D in the class and a 1 on the AP exam. Was not worth it.
Print a blank "document" when I need a piece of paper to write on rather than open the tray or reach into my desk for one. Printer is within reach, of course.
My SO was too lazy to walk to toilet so he pee'd in a coke can, I had a can the next morning put it down and when I went back to it I mistaked it for his pee. :-(
One time i was in my bed and i didn't want to get up to turn off the light.. so i shot it with an air soft gun that was on my nightstand. I didn't clean the glass until the next morning
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When my hdmi fucks up and the image becomes black when i play my ps3 and im comfy in my bed I just throw the nearest thing on the cord until the image comes back. Anything from t shifts ,pens or books. When i have nothing near me , i just lay there.... waiting for a miracle to happen
after getting in bed I forgot to turn my computer off, so I logged in to it remotely with my phone and shut it off from there. I've done the same with the TV when I can't find the remote I load up the app and just change channels from the phone as well. My smart phone has made me even more lazy.
nick908 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Losing 5 pounds because I didn't want to get up to eat, calling my sister in to give me the remote that's 2 feet away, laying in the dark without any entertainment because my phone is on the other side of my night stand near the remote. Not eating because the kitchen is too far..again. This is why I'm skinny and have a shit ton of garbage under my bed
I was hungry one day, and sitting on the sofa in the living room with my laptop. The sofa is situated within a long arm's reach of the front door, so rather than get up and fix something to eat in the kitchen, I ordered pizza on my laptop. Delivery guy comes by and and I holler to come in, tell him to set the pizza on the coffee table in front of me, sign, ask him to close the door on his way out. I couldn't be bothered with getting up and walking 10 feet; I had to keep watching The Walking Dead.
Yeah, it's not creative, but the most truly lazy actions are not demanding of either body or brain.
Also, I'm a sack of shit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to go to sleep and my door was open (which I hate) and I didn't feel like getting up. I realized my brother was sleeping in the next room over so I grabbed the nerf gun that was sitting on my nightstand. I had a little trophy that I got for something I can't remember that was sitting in a shelf. It wasn't important to me so I shot it so that it would fall to the floor and break. It was loud enough to wake my brother up and get him to come in my room, he closed my door.
When my back was injured and I had trouble moving for a few months, I trained my dog to bring me whatever I pointed to.
When my back was better and I just didn't feel like moving for a few years, I continued to have my dog bring me whatever I pointed to.
I have a new dog now who is lazier than me and lazier than this thread and won't bring me anything, ever.
0311 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to hold my cum in by squeezing my dick when I jerked off if I didn't have anything nearby to clean with. Then I would waddle to the bathroom and shoot it in the toilet.
I quit when I started cumming blood.
TylerL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My smartphone's asshole 5:30am alarm went off, but it wasn't next to my bed like it normally is. I didn't want to get up to snooze it.
So I grabbed my laptop (which WAS right next to the bed), and ran a Remote Wipe command for the phone.
I had a data entry position in college and instead of entering everything in manually, I wrote a script that would do it for me. I had the highest quotas and barely did anything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should have gotten a promotion.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was up typing a paper and about halfway through I had to piss so I go to the bathroom. On my way back to my room I trip over the leg of a table, fall on the floor and notice how comfy it is so I jut fell asleep right there.
Not me, but I was involved. I was sitting on my bed talking to my sister who was sitting on hers. Suddenly she says, "Oh my god, get up for a second!" thinking there was something wrong, I jumped off the bed. Then she asked me to pick up a piece of paper she had dropped on the floor.
yoiee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for taking time to post a picture
jasrenn2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After a day of riding at the mountain and a night of heavy drinking, I slept in my car in a sleeping bag with a friend doing same in the passenger seat. Woke up had breakfast of granola bars and proceeded to drive around and visit with other friends (that were also car camping but had gotten out of theirs cars by then and were making breakfast on a camp stove). Scored some pancakes and eggs. Made hour trip to drop friend off and then the 2 hour drive home. Got some drive through and took a nap in the driveway all while still in my sleeping bag. Somewhere in there I peed in a bottle.
plobiwan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
was too lazy to do monthly journals (paragraph length) for a class, did them all in one day, told the professor my email was broken. it worked.
cthslax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Left the leftover pizza in the garage cause the garage was as cold as the fridge when the heater was turned off. Ate cold pizza the next day cause the microwave was inside.
Also once slept in a sleeping bag on the couch in the garage cause my bed was inside. Garage is ten feet from the house and my room was ten feet from the door to the house
I know this isn't what you're looking for at all, but I don't care.
I write a shell script (small computer program) for almost any task at work that I'm going to have to do more than three times. I can't stand repetition and I can't remember complicated steps well.
So many people just plow through and do the same complicated manual thing over and over and I just don't understand why. I also wonder if they understand that 90% of what they do in their day can be replaced by a small shell script. That's not a good position to be in.
me and my roommate at school were watching at tv show on netflix, on a laptop that was situated on a desk in-between our two beds. the show stopped, netflix asked if we were still watching and instead of one of us moving to the end of our respective beds without having to get out of bed to click a button we both just took a nap
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
while working on a psychology project earlier in the semester, I had to make a survey and get at least 5 or 10 people to do it. After my group and I had made the survey, I was too lazy to even post it on my facebook/tumblr/etc. so I decided to type up a quick email to some guy who runs a soccer blog, asked him to put it up for a day or two, and ended up getting about 300 responses.
Evinored ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my best bud recently moved out to stay at his dads and decided to keep all of his furniture including a microwave. A microwave that he put under his bed to warm up his food.
Goddamn genius
jabrodi1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when i walk my dog at night in my yard, as he relieves himself , i do the same
Not me, but I watched my friend drop his Gatorade and say "I'll give you a dollar if you pick that up for me" to me. Better yet, the football coach was right behind us. Needless to say I almost died of laughter.
I once texted my friend to come to my lecture at college because there was an assignment he missed (he was on the same course, but catching up on previous work in the LRC) so that I could get him to put my empty can in the bin. He had to walk to a different campus over 3 miles away. In the rain. So I didn't have to walk 5 feet to a bin.
When I was at university, my friend lived literally across the street from the best takeaway place in town. We used to call them and place our order for home delivery whilst waving to them through our window. They'd cross the street and deliver to us.
Spent a good 10 minutes talking to my dog praying it dog and would understand english in hopes it would eventually find a way to unlock the door for me, spare key was near the back porch.
If I have no clean spoons or bowls, either grab a mixing bowl and a teaspoon measuring spoon thing, or just put dry cereal in my mouth, pour a little milk in, and repeat until I've consumed about a bowls worth.
kidtkd73 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:44 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my friends computer are about 5 feet away in the same room. Instead of us turning around to look at something we have on the screen we will link it through skype and open it on our own computers so we dont have to turn the chairs. This has been happening for 3 years now and still going strong
My buddy Sam is a lazy motherfucker. This is my favorite.
Sam has to spend the night in some groom's little brother's room because he's in the wedding the next day. The kid is a teenager but still with his small bed and his two pet ferrets which for some reason have to spend the night in the room in a cage.
Sam stumbles to the bedroom late and a bit drunk and climbs into bed. He's notorious for being able to sleep soundly pretty much anywhere so he falls immediately to sleep. The ferrets begin burrowing into the corner of their metal cage and somehow this wakes Sam up. He remembers that the brother said he could let them out of the cage if they do that and they won't poop or anything. With what feels like the last ounce of strength, Sam stretches out of the bed and unlatches the cage. He falls asleep to the quiet of escaping ferrets.
Until, his red eyes snap awake an hour later with the ferrets scratching at the door. He's got that shouldn't-be-awake-from-drinking headache and is teetering on nausea with every claw. He fumbles for something to throw at the door and his hand falls on a baseball mitt and baseball.
Sam lobs the mitt high at the door. The thud shakes the bedroom door scaring the ferrets under the bed and into blissful silence.
Until, his red eyes snap awake an hour later with the ferrets at it again at the bedroom door. Why the fuck are they trying to get out? No one said anything about this. Please, just go back to your cages. Sam is a loving father and a genuinely good person. Ask anyone and they'll tell you.
His hand falls on the baseball which he slings at the door with way more force than the first throw. The thinking behind this was that if a little noise gave him a little bit of quiet then a loud noise should give him more quiet. But the noise he heard didn't sound the way he thought it would.
Either way he fell asleep.
He woke to morning sun and a stiff back. His eyes fell on the open cage and he wondered what happened to the ferrets. One of them was in its cage. The other one was dead at the foot of the door. Killed by a baseball. Sam had to go thank the family for their hospitality but instead of getting to tell jokes about the burrowing ferrets over Oh's he had to inform them that he had killed it with the kid's own baseball.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:04 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Needed beer and decided to use the drive thru. Never do, but I did this time. I asked the clerk for a 30 pack of bud light this poor old lady came hobbling up to the window and could barely lift it to the window. Once she finally go it there without throwing out her back, she couldn't fit it thru the window easily. Tried multiple different angles and eventually achieved the delivery of alcohol. I've never used another drive thru liquor store.
Pretty much some common thing, most computer addicts will know:
Sitting in front of my computer, want to install some game (I believe it was KOTOR 2) and struggeling to stand up and grab it from the shelf above my desk.
Long story short, i started to download - forgot about the download - gone sleep.
So like most other undergrads, I hated actually doing assigned readings. Especially for classes where the prof wrote his own book. So I'd read the introduction and the last chapter, then pick a page at random in the middle and read that subheading. You can fake a lot of actual work and diligence with the right kind of lazy.
While this definitely isn't the pinnacle of overall laziness, for me it's the laziness that kept on giving.
Signed up for a gym membership this past March (more or less 9 months ago) through their online form to hopefully get some exercise done, but not once have a stepped through the gym's doors... Not to mention I've been paying the monthly fee of $22 because I'm too lazy to go to the place and cancel it. Oh and did I mention the gym is three blocks away from my house and right next to my job?
Dormers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:01 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wish this was a lie because I told my friend this the other day and he wouldn't stop taking the piss. When I was about 6 or 7 if I wanted to get off the toilet quicker after taking a dump I'd stick my rub my finger on my asshole and if there was shit I'd wipe it on the wall & if there wasn't, freedom!
I always cringe now looking back at my dad having to explain to me it was unacceptable.
insayan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:32 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday my mom called my phone 20 minutes after I told her I was going to nap because I had a terrible week with little to no sleep and she knew this. The reason of her call was because she was downstairs too busy chatting with men on a dating site and needed cigarettes from a store 2 minutes walking from where we live and asked me to get them. Yes she's that lazy
Decided to stay at my apartment near campus for the summer to do summer classes (contract was full year, so I had to pay rent for it if I was there or not).
Never signed up for classes. Lost 20 pounds from starving myself being to lazy to do a 15 minute bike ride for food.
It all ended when my deteriorating health and hygiene caused me to develop a cyst. A really large and painful cyst, 50% of my back turned red from the inflammation. I ended up calling my Mom for the first time in weeks to get help and get home.
Man, depression sucks.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:52 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always think of long comments that would take to long to type so I don't
I had no clean dishes, no microwavable food, and it was too cold to walk or drive to a restaurant (this also would have required pants).
Instead, I ate a cold MRE ( Meal, Ready-to-Eat, military instant food that tastes like shit and can be bought by anyone for $7 USD) instead, skipping the heater packet because it would have required the work of turning on the faucet.
I regret nothing.
drwho0o ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:56 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Super late to the party but currently I have had over a month to do a 5 page essay thats due in 3 1/2 hours im on page 2 and dont intend on moving to the computer anytime soon. In a year alone I racked up over $1000 usd in parking tickets because I was too lazy to park on the right side of the road or pay my tickets in a timely matter. I bought a beater car for winter 3 months ago, it had a flat and I have new tires, the car has been driven once and jacked up for 3 months now. I now have a parking lot and continue to get tickets because im too lazy to park my car I shouldnt even be driving... my phone doesnt get charged because my arm is too short or im too tired to roll over and grab the charger. I keep my fridge at freezing temps so I dont have to throw garbage away and food doesnt go bad. I need to reevaluate what im doing with my life..
SNJBum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:49 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't have netflix on my computer's most viewed tabs for some reason but reddit was, so I searched for half an hour on reddit for the word netflix so I could copy and paste it into the url because I didn't want to walk five feet accross my room and grab my keyboard.
I had Super Street Fighter 4 for the PS3, and one afternoon I couldn't be assed to play, so I just watched a run through of it instead on youtube.
BoBab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:47 on December 3, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was a bit too stoney one night and wanted to talk to one of my roommates. She was in her room though and I didn't want to yell or leave my computer chair...so I proceeded to go back on her facebook timeline months ago and like random things she had posted. It got to the point where she came in my room to ask me what the hell I was doing. I told her I just had a question for her and didn't feel like getting up. She was not amused.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:59 on December 8, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had this friend and one day in 5th grade she told me that she thought she liked girls, but she was too lazy to think that one through and talk to her parents about it so she just forgot about it. And then one day in 9th grade she ended up flirting with this other girl and she realized she was attracted to her and then she was just like oh sh-
gayn6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:58 on December 14, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i am ao many years late but i was reading this on my phone and it accidently went all the way up and im too lazy to scroll down.
Yea, it always seems to happen when I'm more than halfway through the entire thread. Then I'm like "Fuck it. I didn't wanna read the rest anyways." And go to a different one.
Not_Big ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:28 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I got to your comment and it's inspired me to abandon this thread
fafnir665 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:46 on December 14, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Our toilet wouldn't handle shit so we had plastic bags we would shit in to avoid having to plunge the toilet.
In my year 9 math exam, the last question was a problem solving question that involved a bit of explaining. Half way through I realised I was wrong, so I wrote, "and the people on the safe side of the bridge went and got help for those that were on the dangerous side." Got a merit.
Also for year 10 Religious Education, I didn't study, and come exam time, there were a few questions I could have easily answered, but they would have taken an excrutiating 2 minutes out of the 2 hours I had. I just skipped them. Sacraficed an exillence just so I could get an extra 4 minutes sleep. Still got a high merit though!
Curry247 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:04 on January 21, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
This is pretty late, and not me, but last semester, my English teacher decided to not count a huge research project to our final grade, because she didn't feel like grading it. She said "they looked really bad, and they would only hurt your grade anyway".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:41 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
katya_z ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:50 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Ok so I know this is super late and it wasn't me, but one of my teachers told us a story in economics class to highlight the importance of efficiency in production. He used to work in a lawnmower factory. One day, he had the job of making some parts where you have to hold the part to a grinding wheel thing to shape the end. Doing this by hand took a long time and the pieces were not uniform or smooth. Also, his arm was starting to get sore from the repetitive motion of picking up the part then holding it to the grinding thing then putting it in the "finished" pile. He was too lazy to keep doing this, so he thought of a new way. Instead of holding it by hand, he put the (hollow I assume) part on the end of a rod and held it to the wheel that way. It went way faster and the parts came out uniform/smooth. Unfortunately, he also didn't think to ask for a raise or promotion before showing this to the guy in charge, but they sure used that method for a long time.
I'm sometimes too lazy to go to "downloads" to open a document, so i just re-download it
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:01 on March 21, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I discovered that Domino's will deliver to my bedroom window by asking in the special request box.
nukamai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:54 on March 23, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
specifically, had the pizza guy deliver to my bedroom window.
in general:the house motto is, "if you can't reach it; you don't need it."
and we all have "reaching sticks" (broomsticks) in our bedrooms.(typically, the laziest room in an abode)
I blew my nose while in the bathroom just a bit ago. I noticed, after I had crumpled up the used tissue, that the garbage can was not there. I threw the tissue on the floor where the garbage can would be and walked out.
Inferiex ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:32:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A month ago, I finally decided to get myself a computer chair (one that rolls around). Now I roll everywhere, when I need a bite, I roll right into the kitchen. Sad that I can't roll into the bathroom though...I need to get rid of that damned bump.
I once paid to have someone get my drink from across the room so i wouldn't have to get up and get it myself. Dude was a dick about it too, I was all "I'll give you a buck to grab my drink, bro" and he's all "I need about tree fiddy". He was way bigger than me though, so whatevs
Not commenting on Reddit because I didn't want to explain a lengthy story about how my dog got me a bag of Doritos because i taught him to, by taping a doggie biscuit to the corner of the bag. Wait... Fuck.
iammilke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:19:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I faked having mono in 5th grade and missed 2 months of school durring that time I slept all day and did absolutly nothing. My mom waited on my hand and foot and I didn't have to lift a finger. I even had a pee jug that was next to my bed. I accidently spilled it on my bed. I tried to go get towels but I feel asleep.
I ordered a pizza and when the pizza man came I didn't feel like getting the money so when I answered the door I acted like I was retared and gave him pocket change and took the pizza. I was never questioned about it but now the pizza place won't deliver to my house anymore.
Edit: I feel asleep in the pee....
darkzyxu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing... I just did nothing, man.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:06:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man.
After classes friday, me and my friend started watching game of thrones, cause he hadnt seen it. We got 3 episodes in at my dorm, then we went to my girlfriends apartment. She had a rowing competition early in the morning and she had a dog, so we were gonna stay there and babysit.
We ended up marathoning and getting to episode 2 of season 2 when she had to get up around 5 am to go to the competition. We fell asleep then on the couch and floor, woke up around 10, took the dog out, went to whataburger and bought food at wal mart. Then went back to her apartment and finished season 2, and got most of the way through season 3.
Tl:dr weekend long GoT marathon while babysitting girlfriends dog
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
loqi0238 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:43:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But you'd have to take the time to pick up a back scratcher and maneuver it to your balls, rake it back and forth several times, then remove it and put it down somewhere, all of which takes cognition and conscious action. Seems like the good old hand is the quickest route from point A to balls.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had food cooking in the microwave and when the timer ended the food was at the back of the microwave. Instead of reaching in and grabbing, I set the timer for an extra five seconds so the tray would spin around to front.
The last apartment I had, came with a washer and dryer. I kept my dirty clothes in the washer, my clean in the dryer. When I needed to change I wet a wash cloth and threw it in the dryer and ran the dryer for 20 minutes. Showered and shaved while I waited.
During College I shared appartment with 2 other guys, and we had a shared kitchen area. We had an agreement to rotate doing the dishes, but I started making notes, then the name of one of them "I did the dishes yday, it's your turn "add in name". And when it was supposedly my turn I'd just leave it there, or hide the plates under the sink.
And I kept this up for 5 months before they figured it out.
Hmm, also worth nothing, I just got student loan, never showed up for classes, just played pc games.
Oh, and I'd call up one of the room mates gf getting them to clean and vacume the place (also worked for awhile, until he found out).
Hmm, this reminds me of when I was younger, living with my dad. He had this rule that every day he'd give us some chores, and then leave for work. Then me and my brother would split the chores (or that was the general idea).
But I found this nifty trick, let's say we were suppose to take out the dishes and hang up the laundry. I'd tell my brother, we have to vacum 1st and 2nd floor, do the dishes and hang up the laundry. You can choose what you want to do, I'll do the other.
He'd feel all clever and say he'll do the dishes and hang up the laundry, and leave me with the vacuming!!
BUT!!! There was no vacuming, I'd just add stuff, and this way I could just relax and play video games. Sometimes I'd just put on the vacum, leave it on for 5-10 min for good meassure.
Now I live on my own, and have to do my own laundry (which kinda sucks). But I just hang my clothes to dry, and never fold them, I just get them from where they're hanging and put it in the washer, and when it's full, rinse repeat, pretty clever.
The laziest thing I have ever done...twice...is when making a salad and the time comes to add carrots, I took the carrot into my mouth, bit off the pieces, and spit them into the salad.
I remember my sister screaming and crying when I asked her to shut the garage door on her way through the door. A button at shoulder level was too tough for her and yes she does stuff like this all the time.
I haven't done a single homework assignment that wasn't absolutely necessary to passing since grade 2. I'm now in grade 11 and people constantly remark about how they hate me for getting decent grades even though I never put in any effort, but the truth is that it's very stressful and I can't seem to get myself to concentrate on the work whenever I actually try to do something.
Wireless mouse/keyboard, always have the mouse in bed but the keyboard is regularly on the floor. Use onscreen keyboard 90% of the time instead of picking up the keyboard.
Done this a few times as a joke. Ill call my mom or sister upstairs saying I need help and proceed to ask them if they will get the remote for me or turn off the lights.
Pissed in water bottles while playing PC games to avoid going to the bathroom. The bathroom is precisely 5 feet from my computer and the toilet is 10. I can see the toilet from the computer.
AtomFTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've gone 4 hours without using the restroom on my computer.
The restroom is 4 meters from my room.
I tried moving my legs, didn't work, i didn't have lunch that day.
cmrudy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just this evening I was too lazy to grab the remote off the side of the couch to fast forward through the commercials. The remote was mere inches from me. I have since regained my strength long enough to go on Reddit. I just hope I don't have to pee anytime soon
Had a fews snow days back in high school. My friends all crashed at one house and spent 36 straight hours in their basement watching movies. Only got up for food. We morphed to the couch.
I once spent a whole 3 day weekend smoking weed out of my bong, drinking beer, playing games,and watching movies on netflix on my xbox. I was so high/drunk that I was too lazy to get up and use the bathroom so I peed in the empty beer bottles.
mrshosey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Quit smoking. My pack was empty, and my carton was on a book shelf near the opposite end of the couch I was sitting on. I didn't feel like moving so I just decided I was quitting. The next morning I figured I went that long without a smoke, and I didn't want that time to go to waste, so I sold my machine to a friend and gave them the almost full carton I had rolled 3 days prior.
not me, but i've SEEN the laziest things one of my friends has done.
cue in sophomore year in college and i'm at a friend's apt chilling. their place is a mess cuz 2.....errr 3 of the 4 roommates are slobs basically. they don't look like slobs, but they live like them. haha. so one of the roommates comes out to throw his food waste out in the trash can. the food makes it in, but his napkin does not. he looks around, and then decides not to pick up the napkin. instead, he kinda uses his foot to kick the napkin behind the can. me and his other roommate look at him in shock. <2 seconds to pick it up. SO LAZY.
Calamash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
forticus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called my wife from the living room to ask her to get me a beer... While she was doing the dishes no less...
bdong002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
well i once just stayed in bed, for around four hours, no sex or masturbation just laid there. i wasnt in a good mindset at the time. better now though!
Too lazy to leave my bed, I once bribed my 3 year-old cousin into bringing me my phone with a toy . Little did he know that he had just helped me get my phone without lifting asinglefinger.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went and bought more clothes because I couldn't be bothered doing the laundry.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Typed "u" on a keyboard instead of simply typing two more letters to make "you"
Girlfriend and I felt like toast, didn't want to wait in the kitchen so we just sat the toaster on the coffee table. Thing is we left it there for weeks. It became a interesting conversation starter.
drzeeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was paying back my mom for some student loans. Didn't feel like walking over to the next room to hand her the check. Ended up taping the check to an RC helicopter and flew it into her as I grabbed a handful of cheeze its from the couch.
I made some killer burger and fries for dinner and thought I had bought some Pepsi at the store but realized I forgot. So Instead of putting on my shoes to go a block to the store or give up and drink water with my burgers, I called and tried to order just some Pepsi from Pizza Hut or whatever but they wouldn't let me so I ordered a whole pizza and the soda, just to get the Pepsi for the dinner I had already made.
I had to change the leather cushions on my couch because they were getting worn out, so I ended up laying on my coffee table to watch TV (despite having 2 chairs and an armchair in my living room) for about a week.
lollielu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Threw away all my dirty dishes
atn9009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Guilty. Don't want to wash that pan? Throw it out.
Sometimes when I'm about to go to sleep, I psexec into my desktop computer from my cellphone to shut it down when I'm 2 feet away in bed
Lewballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hooked up my laptop to my tv and bought a wireless keyboard/mouse pad combo so I can browse internet whilst laying comfortably in my bed.
Not so much lazy but 2 nights ago I was in a hotel room and could see the mcdonalds across the road and 2 guys and 2 girls were obviously drunk and being, not too noisy or annoying but still just being drunk, but i wanted to get my cheeseburger without any hassle so I called the cops and had them moved on so I could walk into the store without having to walk past them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I changed lanes without using my indicator.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was already laying in bed with the lights off when I felt like reading. Instead of turning on the lights I just grabbed the ipad next to me and downloaded an ebook version of the novel on my nightstand.
chrherr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Built an elaborate system of pulleys to drop a hammer onto my light switch every night instead of sitting up to flick it off.
Damnaged ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but I once witnessed my dad fill a cooler with beer and ice from the fridge. I asked him where he was going and he looked at me, sort of confused, walked less than ten feet from the fridge to the couch, sat down, and turned on the game. That was the proudest I'd ever been to be an American.
cactipus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took a nine month philosophy course in college. Online. It was the equivalent one semester in terms of course load. There were some readings, which I didn't do. There were nine assigned essays (2-3 pages) for the entire course. No exams. No busy work. Just the essays. I waited eight months before writing the first one. In the last two weeks I still had eight to go, so naturally I got a two week extension from the instructor (why she gave me this extension, I haven't a clue). I wrote six more essays and then put my name on two pieces of paper and called them numbers eight and nine. The class was pass/fail, and with those seven legit essays I managed to pass.
Slept for a whole day. Woke up a few times, still sleepy eye, didn't have anything I REALLY needed to do, and just closed my eyes and went back to sleep. Did this a few times for just over 24 hours.
I knew there was nothing that had to absolutely be done, so I didn't do anything at all.
I was supposed to read great expectations in 9th grade. I read 3 chapters and decided it was too much, so I started using sparknotes. Got to about chapter 10 and decided even that was too much. I just chose not to read the rest of it. Test time came around, got a 53%. The only F I've ever gotten on a test.
I was living in my parents basement, about 17 y/o. And I needed some water, but didn't want to go upstairs and get it because I was playing a video game. So I turned up my subwoofer all the way, this was early afternoon, so I knew I wasn't going to wake anyone or ruin a nights sleep. So then I hear my Dad stomping down the stairs, I could hear the anger coming. So I grabbed my glass and pointed toward the door and waited for him to slam my door open. Luckily, I have a Dad with a sense of humor. He refilled my water due to my clever laziness and I promised not to do that again. Worth it!
Not me, but one of my friends (who is extremely lazy) didn't want to physically get up out if bed, so he rolled out and used his guitar hero guitar to drag himself to the fridge in his kitchen. He decided to draw the line after eating the food on the floor.
Not me but my friend. Every week, I come over to my friend's house to relax and talk like we usually do. My friend decided to eat some chips which was 3 feet away from him. He tried to grab his bag of chips from his chair without even trying to hard to reach and suddenly gave up. He then called his brother, 3 times, before picking up, and ask him a favor. His little brother comes up the stairs to ask what the favor was. My friend replied "get me those bag of chips right over there." His little brother was surprised of how lazy he was and brought the bag of chips to my friend. I've never seen this type of laziness ever.
Tl;Dr Called his brother to grab bag of chips next to him.
Driven to the shops from my house to get fried rice. It was about 30 metres away.
gottam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was doing homework in bed and didn't want to get up to turn my light off so I threw all my pillows at my light switch. Got it with the last pillow then feuded I was too lazy to turn the lights off, I was too lazy to get up and grab a pillow to sleep on.
extesser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once was too lazy to go downstairs to microwave a hot pocket, so I just turned on Crysis with max settings and heated it with my laptop exhaust
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sit on my couch hungry, but not hungry enough to go get food so I just wait untill I am hungry enough.
Just ate an entire pint of ice cream because I didn't want to return the rest of it to the freezer. I'm home for break and the ice cream was my dad's, so this means that I'll have to go to the store tomorrow to replace it. Still easier than getting up right now.
Gorloke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I got laid, but only after my friends literally threw the woman on me.
Lazy Pong- beer pong with both teams sitting on opposing couches. When the ball went out of arms reach we had to convince someone walking by to grab it for us.
Oh, I used to live in a coop and we had far to much time on our hands..
Flooben ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought new underwear instead of doing a load of laundry.
Not my finest hour. But hey, we've all been there right? Just me? Okay, cool guys.
atn9009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I probably own over 80 pairs of panties because I do this. The thing is I am prone to UTI infections so I change my underwear like 4 times a day. I run out so fast ... I send my roommate and friends to Victoria's Secret for me.
They know what's up. They even know what prints I prefer.
Whaaaat that's crazy times. UTIs are so painful. How do you deal? I would just spend all day in bed.
Also I assume you've tried all the usual tricks: shower post sex, wipe front to back, cutting out thongs?
atn9009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of tears.
Haha, but no, I take a low dose antibiotic every day and I have an antibiotics at home already when one breakthroughs. I also take Cystex every single day pretty much. I have a kidney disease (medullary sponge kidney) that makes me extremely prone UTI/kidney infections. I average about 8 a year.
There was a thread on this a month ago or so and the top response was about a guy being so lazy that he ordered overnight delivery for underwear so he wouldn't have to do his laundry.
Another comment was about someone pushing their plate under the couch so their roommate would find it and wash it himself.
Another person planned when he was going to buy underwear to skip laundry day. (Proactive Lazy)
Another guy spent a week on the couch because he was too lazy to go upstairs to his room.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After masturbating, I wiped my cum on my chest instead of moving 3 feet to get tissues. I'd like to say this has only happened once.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my mother had a phone in her room and on in the living room, one day I spliced off the living room so I would have a phone in my room. Most the time after high school i would crash in my room, and when i would want to talk to mom and ask for room deliveries I would yell out loud "MOM PHONE CALL" she would pic it up and I would too and hit a number so we didnt hear the dial tone and then it went something like "Hi mom, ROBERT KNOCK IT OFF!, but maaaam...click" and then either pouting or laughing lol Man I miss pre cell phone days so much fun!.
When I was 10 or so I was happy because I got my own landline for my room. One day I was laying in bed watching a movie and called the house phone to ask my dad to make me popcorn and bring it to me. He said he would that one time only because he thought it was clever.
Didn't mop my hardwood floor for three months. It's an area of approximately 300 sq. ft.
forrext ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pee'd into a Gatorade bottle next to my bed because I didn't want to get up.
micro788 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend that lived in a very creepy house. It was very late at night and could not go to sleep when I felt the urge. I decided out of fear and laziness that I am going to piss the bed...on purpose....I think I was 8 or 9 at the time.
I have a ten foot cane (well, its actually about 6 canes tied together) with a large blob of blu-tack on the end, behind my couch so if I can't find the remote I grab that and poke at the buttons on the TV
If you had multiple landlines in your house as a kid, then you probably can relate.
I would dial my house number from my phone in my room and wait for the automated voice to tell me I just dialed myself. I would hang up the phone and then 2 seconds later it would ring only to have the same automated voice on the other end saying that I've been called by a party on my own line. So I would do this and wait about 2 or 3 rings, pick up the phone just as one of my parents picked up the other end and I would ask them to bring me food from the kitchen. Lazy or genius?
Bought one of those Honeywell smart thermostats so I don't have to get up off the couch and walk the 3 feet to change the temperature and just change it from my phone if I want.
Was sitting in bed with the TV about 4 feet away. Comp was plugged in on Netflix but I couldn't be bothered to try to use a more on my bed (futon in sofa mode) so I downloaded a remote trackpad app(which I had to set up the receiver server on m desktop for) more effort than just using the mouse, but it was an investment in future laziness
TBE_0027 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothi
shawkes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of moving my mouse to click a blue link on reddit, I scrolled the mouse wheel such that the blue link moved to under my mouse cursor instead.
I've gotten use to drinking warm/room temperature beer just because i couldn't be bothered going downstairs to the fridge every time i want another one
Armadyll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in 2nd grade and had wrapped myself up in the bathroom rug coming out of the bathtub because it was too cold to get out of it and dry myself off as it was winter. Next thing I knew, I woke up in bed, apparently my parents had found nude me rolled up in a rug and put me in bed. They've actually never spoken to me about this...
I broke my leg and was laid up for a few weeks. I would watch the same movie over and over because I didn't feel like getting up to change it. School of Rock.
When I moved out of home I had all my stuff in boxes, and I shoved the boxes in the closet of the new apartment and not once unpacked everything. Moved back in with the folks using the same boxes..
When I was a kid, I loved sledding, but hated walking back up the hill. My brilliant solution: get a really long rope, tie one end to a tree and the other end to the sled so I could just pull myself back up. The rope wasn't nearly long enough, and snatched the sled right out from under me
Was gonna post a story about the laziest thing I've ever done right here, but eh..
northies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Everyday, after school, i would wait 45 minutes for a bus that would drop me off right outside my house, rather than walking for 10 minutes and getting home an hour earlier
I phoned my husband who was in the next room sitting at his computer with his headphones on. In my defense, I had a cat on my lap and we were both very comfortable.
hmm Also I would have to say that stretching my arms while almost throwing out your back to reach the object you need...most likely the remote control. while keeping your ass firmly gripped on the couch
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Created a string contraption with my friend to turn the light on and off without having to get up. It was successful.
Last year I rented a room and lived on the second floor. For a week the upstairs toilet was broken so I would piss in the sink rather than walk downstairs.
Solski12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Up late watching tv as a kid. Was too lazy to walk from the couch to my bed upstairs so i decided to sleep in the den. I was also was too lazy to lie down and slept upright.
without any job sitting in home for past two years
warboy3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy who ran a garden hose into the bathroom so he didn't have to get up to piss. He also put a mini fridge under his desk and a microwave on nearby table so he didn't have to get up to eat or drink.
This guy was my raid leader back in Vanilla WoW. Sent us pics all the time. Guy was a total jackass, and ended up being the direct reason I quit playing. He hacked my account and stole all my stuff so he didn't have to "waste time" gearing up his college buddy. I got him banned. Jerk.
Syyntax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used my Smartphone by touching with my nose because I was wearing gloves.
csmblair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not smoking my weed that was 5 feet away and just laying in bed for hours thinking, "Damn, wish I was high."
Planned a sleepover with a friend so I moved two mattresses into another room. After the sleepover I slept in that room for three weeks because I didn't want to move my mattress back into my room.
Co-worker was using a ladder in the spot that I needed to get some stock down off a shelf, I asked if she could let me borrow it for 2 seconds. She refused.
So I walked over to where the other ladders were, called our store on the phone, asked for the girl using the ladder then hung up (the store would then do a call out over PA for her). Then i walked back over to where she was using the ladder and obviously she went to answer my phone call. Successfully got stock down without lifting my arms.
Was sitting with some girls at a party, and this guy I had talked to earlier sits down and talks to me and asks if I knew any of the girls. I just denied knowing anyone becouse I cba to introduce them to eachother (2 of the girls I was sitting with where my friends that I came to the party with).
Meech11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The current pile of dirty laundry on my floor that has been there for about 3 months. I even moved houses and just put the dirty laundry right back on the floor. Every morning I take the cleanest looking pair of pants and shirt and just throw that on with some cologne and deodorant. Still have a girlfriend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Skipping class in college (in the past) because it was raining and I'm tucked in too comfy, I call my friend up on my phone to ask if he's going, and when he picks up he knows what I'm about to say and laughs. He was my housemate and he slept in the room next to mine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ordered a coke from Jimmy John's for delivery.
TbeastW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
DickKong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Moved into a smaller studio apartment to minimize distance between kitchen, bathroom, and the bed.
I have to pass by my mother's room to go to the bathroom. I sleep naked so when I have to go to the bathroom I pee In a bottle cup and empty it usually sometime next month... eventually I have 5-6 pee bottles around my room but atleast I don't have to put pants on to use the bathroom
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my room mate was studying late in the lounge across the hall from our room. She had to pee and was too lazy to walk back, so she used the lounges sink
I was ridiculously thirsty, but I laid on the couch for an hour before getting up to walk four metres to get a drink, all the while thinking about how thirsty I was and wishing I had some water.
That's probably a tie with the time I was on my laptop in the dining room, and I sent a message via MSN to my brother, asking him to come to where I was. He came from the other end of the house to the dining room, and when he got there I asked him to pass my glasses, which were on the dining table but a bit out of reach. That was all I wanted.
talagar1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered two pizzas. Ate both pizzas while watching a whole season of South Park.
"Hey Andrew (roommate), come here for a sec, I have to show you something"
"Yeah what's up?"
"Mind grabbing the light for me?" The pull chain mind you is a solid two feet from my computer chair.
Roommate scowls as he turns out the light for me. Nothing like getting other people to do your work for you.
deifgd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I finished grading the last assignment for a student in my class. There's one last portion of it that would require me to reach down to find it grade it. It's out of 4 points. A 4 would grant the student an A. Anything lower would end in an A-. Guess he gets a 4.
Edit for clarity.
xursian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of having to get up off my bed twice a day to refill the hamsters' food bowl, I now live with all three cages lined up on my bed. They've been there for months now.
My sister made her basement into her and her husband's bedroom. The 'laundry room' is in the corner of their room. My brother-in-law pisses in the laundry tub because the only bathroom is upstairs. On really bad days, he just pisses the bed.
POGTFO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my roommate decided to spend about an hour or so constructing an elaborate design (see: string) so that he could flip the switch for the main light in the room on/off from his bed.
This is my first post ever on Reddit, but here goes:
When I was a sophomore in college, I had an accounting class and went to 6 classes the entire semester. We had to sign up for a presentation on any chapter at various times. I obviously signed up for literally the last time slot at the end of the semester. I did my presentation (which was supposed to be 25 minutes) on chapter 1, the definition of opportunity cost the day before the due date.
The majority of slides had multiple dumb play on word pictures and little to no text. I had one power point slide titled "weighing the pros and cons". On the slide, there were jpegs of a balance weight scale, Michael Jordan (pro), and a stock image of a guy dressed up in a prison Halloween costume (con). It took ~ less than 10 minutes to present.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend gave me one job, which was to hold a spatula over the popcorn maker so the kernels wouldn't fly out before popping. Not wanting to stand there, I stacked 2 vitamin bottles on top of each other, and balanced the spatula on top.
edwa6040 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
amateur...try 3 days then 3 more comando...id say on average when i reach the point where i need to do laundry it takes about 2 weeks longer for me to actually do it.
Took the time to master the art of turning my television on/off with my foot when the remote wasn't an option.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I walked away from my fridge after getting a beverage, only to realize the fridge didn't fully close. I'm a good 20 feet away now, in my living room. Instead of going back and shutting it, I pick a pillow up off the couch and throw it, hit, and close the fridge door. That pillow? I'll pick that up later.
Watching any stream on Twitch makes me feel extremely lazy. Nothing says pathetic like being too lazy to play a video game and, instead, resorting to watching some stranger play it over the internet. It used to be that I played games when I wanted to be lazy and now I've graduated from that.
Blade22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
left the milk on the kitchen table and went to bed, texted my neighbour to come up and put it back in the fridge.
She obliged, She has an irrational crush on me.
Pissed myself so I didn't have to get out of bed to use the bathroom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had woodshop for first period in high school. Ditched often, about 45+ times each semester, and was failing the class horribly. Teacher was a nice dude: on the last day of class he handed me a sander, asked me to sand down one of the work tables, and he'd give me a C-. Sounded like an awesome deal.
Once his back was turned, though, I was out the door and at the arcade down the street. Never even turned on the sander.
i was extremely hungover and ordered a pizza with specific directions to bring the pizza into my bedroom. the nesteas that came with that pizza may have saved my life that day.
Back in high school I put my head down and slept EVERY French class. I still passed with a 90 (A). I even tried this during my midterm and also passed that too (88). I had a naptime everyday at school :P
Later when my teacher met me in after I graduated I asked him if he knew. He never noticed and I laughed.
lmfm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Threw all my pillows to close my door. Had to sleep without pillows.
edwa6040 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
watched movies on netflix instant that i own because i didnt want to get off the couch to get the dvd, reuse dirty dishes out of the dishwasher because i havent gotten around to washing them yet, pee out a third floor window because i didnt want to walk down the hall (read couldnt walk because drunk), slept with clean laundry on my bed for about a month, that is more than one cycle through wearing and washing all my clothes.
I once put $20 of gas into my car, then drove down the street and put $20 into the drive up ATM, just to avoid having to walk inside.
enkidu9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's not what you do, but rather what you didn't do.
OwlsNest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little I tied a string to the pull on my light, then to a stuffed animal in my bed so that I could turn off my light without getting out of bed. I had a bad angle or something, so when I couldn't turn the light off I yanked on the cord, and ripped the light out of the ceiling. That light still doesn't work... that was 18 years ago.
carmenE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stove top mac n chz in the microwave... stopped it early. Partially mushy, partially crunchy. Ate it anyway. Yes, I was stoned and 18 lol
Moved my coffee maker to my bed side table so in the morning I wouldn't have to get out of bed to have coffee. I also used to get dressed while still laying down in bed before school.
Nothing. I do nothing all of the time and 90% of my "problems", just go away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Recliners were passed down to the men in my family and I finally got one in my room. I either lost the remote to my tv or the batteries died. Instead of fixing the remote situation I just situated my recliner in front of the tv, so that when I prop my feet up I could change the channel, volume, and whatever else with my toes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mowed over a dead bird instead of throwing the corpse in the bin.
In my old house (two houses before the one I am in now)
I was on the second story, there was no bathroom up there so what does do I do? I drill a hole through the fucking wall, put a Pvc pipe in it, and in the pvc I put a funnel.
I was at a friends house. His mum wanted him to chop up some wood for the fire, I offered to do it. Went outside, lodged axe into trunk of tree and continues playing video games with my friend
BM_FUN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So i had a cup a juice in my hand(i had something else on my other hand,) i tried to turn the door knob so i can open the door with the hand i had the cup with, but i refused to put the cup down on the table next to the door, and i turned the knob opening the door with hand with the cup and the juice spilled all over the carpet
Iokuas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once wore the same pair of clothes for four days in a row and just sprayed on a new, heavy coat of deodorant every day because I was too damn lazy to do the laundry.
Me and my friend at university went to the trouble of making a tool that could retrieve the TV remote from any part of the room so that we didn't have to get up if we ever found ourselves out of reach.
We named it The Retriever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not checking for reposts.
Leporad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've gone 14 days without food because I don't feel like getting/eating food.
Never download computer updates. It's just a click, but I'd rather just shut my computer down.
lenstole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ate a small piece of paper because I was too lazy to walk to the bin, which was in the adjacent room.
fezvez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, I had to prepare a resume with a picture. I was too lazy to shave myself (or to even stand up) so I took a picture with my webcam, and photo-shopped my beard off.
GnarGash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Live Webcam girl sites instead of a girlfriend. :c
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have the virtual keyboard on my task bar so that I can type without leaning forward in my chair.
Dalven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laying in bed in my room, I called my house from my cell phone so someone can bring me a glass of water. I do this a lot actually.
I once blutacked a fork to the wall next to my chair so I could hold a joint in it whilst playing Goldeneye. It turned into a suspension project as I took the shoelace out of my shoe to secure it to the ceiling relieving some of the weight from the blutac.
Problem was I ended up twice as stoned as my competitors and started losing big time. So it goes.
I frequently park at the end of the parking lot and walk because I'm too lazy to drive all the way up to the front of the store and look for a spot!
TheHerny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spilled a cup of tea all over myself in bed once. I was too tired to get up and clean it, so I just went to sleep covered in tea. The warmth was relaxing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not something I did, but my dad used to call me into the living room from across the house to turn off the light switch or hand him the TV remote, etc.
Didn't move for 13 hours. Set myself up with a sandwich, 18 beers, triscuits, a remote, a quarter, a bowl, a lighter, and a bed pan. Just kidding, but that's how I feel because I'm that fucking lazy all of the time.
I once had to edit and finalize a group paper. I wanted to go to Disneyland the night before it was due so I did it in mobile Word on my WP in line for Star Tours.
Grade: B+
Group Satisfaction: High
Alarm set to 7:30 AM to go to an 8:00 AM class. Proceeded to press the snooze button until it was 12:00 PM-ish. Not sure what I was thinking considering the alarm clock was across the room. I'm not a clever man.
sprtn117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lost the remote and couldn't find it so I used a hockey stick taped to a broom stick to turn the channels.
pbachar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
tl;dr everything
lmfm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did a months worth of laundry then dumped it all on my bed. Couldn't get to my covers to sleep so I used my clothes as blankets. Went on for about 2weeks.
hilburn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On a night out I went into a pizza delivery place and ordered a large mushroom and pepperoni pizza, delivered to my house. I got a lift home with the pizza, cheaper than a taxi
Didn't load a file from a computer disk that let me print things from my laptop. I have been emailing documents to myself and printing them on another computer for months. It saved my ass a few times, though.
Lobsert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My eyes keep closing by themselves but putting my phone away is too much work.
grog23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am consistently late on my bills even though I have the money because I won't log on or call to pay them. Late fees up the ass
I was sitting on my bed in my dorm room and wondered if it was snowing outside. I didn't want to get up to open the curtains so I pulled up the "hi mom" webcam online. Yup, snowing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nearly had to go to the hospital because I wouldn't get up to get water during depression.
Day went like this:
Wake up in front of TV with controllers, remote, etc.
Moved into an extra room at my friends house. Never unpacked. Moved out a year later. Most of my shit was still packed.
lockedge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched fourteen episodes of murder she wrote ina row because I was too lazy to change the channel, move from my comfy spot on the couch, or get up to eat or whatever.
I don't even like 'murder she wrote.' At all. Angela Landsbury has always creeped me out. But I was too lazy to do anything about it
Askol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched like 6-7 episodes of "The Hills" during a marathon because I couldn't find the remote and didn't want to get up (In my defense, I was sick).
I was sitting on the couch watching tv, once the show i was watching ended i realized the remote was on the couch adjacent to me, rather than getting up i pulled the couch toward me until the remote was within reaching distance and i grabbed it. At this point the couch was directly in front of me so i could no longer view the television. I wasnt able to push it far enough back to where i could see the tv again so i just turned over and went to sleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I rejected a planned Skype call just because... The Rooster Teeth Lets Plays are waiting for me!
KFDizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As I was just browsing through this thread my roommate spilled a cup of spit on the rug, instead of trying to clean the mess out of the rug he just rolled it up and threw it away.
loetz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered a quart of Ben & Jerry's cookie dough ice cream from a delivery service.
I was browsing the internet with my friend and the laptop was at the edge of the bed, since I was using a wireless mouse. I wanted to change websites, so instead of using the keyboard I very carefully selected letters and used the mouse to copy/paste them into a new tab search bar. I think it took three before the awesomebar took over.
My sophomore year in high school, I had a WW1 children's book I had to do. I was given a whole week of vacation and two weeks to do it. I decide to start it on Sunday night at 9, thinking that the WW1 is an easy subject to write about, but my parents kick me off of my computer to sleep, but I was not done, so I 'borrow' my brother's laptop to finish, but I actually just went on Mangahere for about a couple hours then started. I finish at around 4:30 and I had to get ready for zero period soon. I turn it in, got a 1 hundo percent on it while more then half my class got d's.
thehaga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was about 40 credits beyond requirement to graduate college, had a WoW raid one day (I was the GM/RL so it was self-scheduled) that I decided to prepare for while waiting for the bus.. ended up not going to school for the rest of the final semester. Didn't fill out the paper work even though I was still obviously able to graduate and didn't graduate.
/Finally did it later after my new job basically demanded that I show proof I graduated.
kmillz09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this belongs here but I quit my job couple of months ago to go for masters degree and still haven't submitted any application or even zeroed on any college. Savings are running out, so i'll have to look for a freelance too but i really want to go back to college. Just haven't gotten off my ass to do anything about it.
Also, memph trips are happening since i quit. Save me.
blerpydo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on the counter and eating toast, I was too lazy to swallow so I licked a napkin
McWeak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The other day instead of getting up to turn the dial of my floor lamp whose post is just barely in reach, I just reached over and knocked it into the floor breaking the bulb.
Used to take me days or even weeks to unpack my stuff after spring semester and moving back in with my parents..my mom used to give me so much shit for it
pranda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't eat dinner because I didn't feel like microwaving the microwaveable frozen dinner.
Rovden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't find my remote to my tv... and the Jackass movie came on. I could have gotten up to change the channel, I lived in an apartment that the act of standing up I could have reached the tv.
I watched the whole movie. It's still rather upsetting to me that I did that.
I toured around the US for 6 months living out of a big backpack. After I came back home, I lived out of that same backpack on the floor of my room for almost a year. Whenever I did laundry I would just pile it on the open bag.
I bought an Xbox One. The amount of Netflix I've consumed via voice navigation while laying in bed is incomprehensible. I almost forgot they make games for this one.
Atalacus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is a trick question, the laziest thing I've ever done? Or not done would be the more appropriate answer wouldn't it?
Today I went to order delivery pizza, but Papa Johns won't deliver to my new address, I got halfway through entering my personal information for a pizza hut account, gave up, walked 10 feet to the general store and microwaved some personal pan Red Baron pizza. So, I guess I was too lazy to order delivery pizza..
Edit for lazy typing
It was near the end of school year when I was in local equivalent of high school and I just finished my written tests, having few weeks off before spoken ones, having a school but not doing anything in it so I stayed at my flat for few days after tests just sleeping in my bed, moving just to take a piss or shit and to have a lunch at restaurant right next to my apartment once a day. It was really wierd.
This isn't so much laziness as it is bad judgment as a kid, but I remember one time when I was probably 5 years old I had just woken up and needed to pee REALLY bad, but it was just so warm and comfortable in my bed that I didn't want to get up. I ended up just pissing the bed and convinced my parents that it was an "accident" even though I never peed the bed before or after that.
Moved across the street from my community college so I could walk to classes...it started out fine then I ended up driving to every class cuz i had to leave earlier to walk. Sigh...
Not me but a friend when we were in HS..his mom had bought him a new tv for his room and she hooked it up, leaving the old tv on his bed for him to do with it what he wants. For about a month that tv sat on his bed because he was too lazy to move it, I would come over in the mornings sometime and find him sleeping AROUND the tv on his bed..I finally took it to my house.
USID_ent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted to play GTAV but didn't want to reach to the table that was a foot away in order to get the controller. Feigned disinterest and interwebbed and slept all day instead.
For me, it is IMPERATIVE that I shower after I take a shit.
There have been a few times where I will sleep it off and take a shit the next day because I'm too lazy to take the shit and shower and put on lotion and clothes.
Ordered delivery from a restaurant around the corner from my house.
jdanhyde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once was so lazy one day, that i ate a wrapper off a table. There was literally food 5+ feet away from my hand, and if i had lazy-rolled (assuming you all know what that means) i would have gotten a bowl of chips i had previously gotten. But no. I ate a wrapper.
Partially cook a raw pre-made pizza in the microwave, cut it up with scissors, and get diarrhea from the doughy center.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I paid my sister 8 dollars to pour me a glass of milk. I was sitting at the kitchen table. She just happened to be sitting on the side closer to the fridge.
oozamiaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friends asked me if I wanted to go watch a movie and I just tested them I couldn't because I had stuff to do, it's not about money, it's just that I'm way to lazy to even go, so I'll just watch some Harry Potter while eating some potato chips and go to bed :)
tycul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Housemate and I eating prawn curry on our beds, both too lazy to walk to the bin so we threw the prawn shells onto our bedroom floors.
At the same house our fridge died and we didn't realise there was a fish in the freezer. Found it there 6 weeks later and it STUNK. Didn't wanna deal with it so we left it there, the smell couldn't escape the freezer door. Every so often when a friend came over we'd tell them to get something from the freezer and they'd get a face full of rotten fish ha haaa.
Back at the first house I lived in when my mother and step father got together here in Las Vegas we had a pretty decent sized back yard, My step dad being the tinkerer he was wanted a fountain with Koi fish to add to the theme of the backyard and to make this ugly corner near the pool a little more pleasing to the eye. So we did what anyone does when they want a "do it yourself fountain" and started digging.
Now all that dirt had to go somewhere right? So we had been taking turns (Step brothers and I) digging or wheel barreling the dirt out to the font yard. I was taking a short break waiting my turn while one of my step brothers had to take the over sized load of dirt out front, Well you see... the path we took was RIGHT next to the pool, and he got high centered on a rock and started tipping towards the inside of the pool.
I was literally standing right there, could of prevented the entire thing just by reaching out a hand and grabbing the side, but I was tired from digging and too lazy to even reach my arm out, saving us hundreds of dollars from having to filter out dirt and rocks and drain the pool for the next 3 months, Also I just wanted to see how it would look/what would happen.
lofike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't bothered to go to kitchen to snack...lost like 10 lbs from that
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do absolutely no work, turn in zero assignments and get the first F my 7th English grade teacher ever handed out.
She accepted assignments until the end of the school year.
SirDalek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I regularly try to use the force to get my cell phone from my bedside table (like a foot away).
My mom and I text each other all the time. While we're both in the apartment. I'll be laying in bed, her on the couch, and we'll be talking about where to order from for dinner. True story.
JCLNV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The other month I was lying on the sofa and needed a shat but I couldn't be bothered to get up so I hung my ass over side and laid some cable in a a glass and put it on the floor with a magazine on top. It was there for a good two hours.
Sat on my ass sipping fanta while the rest of my family were busy spring cleaning for relatives that were going to stay at ours. I simply refused to give a shit because they were shitty relatives. :)
pissing in the sink when the toilet is 2 more feet away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well work was involved but the outcome is lazy, I've laid out my room so that I can reach everything with my hands or feet without getting out of bed. From my Dr. Pepper to the remote etc.
When my alarm went off this morning instead of hitting snooze or turning it off I pulled the covers over my head and waited 25 minutes until my roommate got up and turned it off. Then I went back to sleep. The alarm clock is on the nightstand inches from my bed. This morning wasn't the first time I used this tactic and it probably won't be the last.
shiny1s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend's brother sleeps on his computer seat with his feet on his bed.
Digital sign, about six feet off the ground that I had to work on. Company accidentally called out a 60' boom lift. Used lift because ladder was in my van.
Feequess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was playing the guitar. Needed to tune it. Tuner was across the room on the TV. Pulled out my phone and downloaded one so I wouldn't have to get up. The tuner app was better than my "real" tuner.
flintan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes in my office job, I'll put off doing certain tasks because it involves too much clicking of the mouse or moving the cursor around. Think about that for a second.....I'll put off doing a job because I don't want to move my index finger.
I know I'm not alone in this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted starbucks really badly before going home but I didn't want to leave my car, so I drove to the closest drive thru which was 20 minutes south of where (I passed 3 or 4 starbucks without drive thrus on my way to the one that had one) this starbucks was then 25 minutes from my own house in the opposite side of the city.
I tried rationalizing it by telling myself it was winter and it was cold.. It was only maybe -10 degrees... Laziest I have ever felt.
Since little over a year, my ISP offers all those customers who ordered the 5mbps internet access a free upgrade to 100mbps (down only). It's kinda ridiculous because it's a different contract it would be about 1.50 โฌ cheaper.
I haven't done it yet. I'd have to go to my ISP personally. How far away could that be, you ask? Well it's a whole 2station train ride which would take about 7 minutes.
Lived by myself in a studio apartment. Came home from work and had no clean dishes. Ordered pizza online, tracked its delivery so I only had to wear pants for the few minutes it would take to answer the door. When I opened the pizza box, they had forgotten to cut my pizza. I wasn't going to wash a knife after going through all that work, so I folded it up and ate it like a massive taco.
Tldr I am a (reformed) foul bachelorette frog.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Often times I feel really tired and want to go to sleep, but I'm too lazy to move my computer, phone, and box of tissues off my bed.
I generally just continue to browse for an hour more, but if I'm extra lazy I just pass out with everything still surrounding me.
darps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was supposed to meet with a few friends, so I took a set of clean clothes downstairs, showered and got dressed, when I noticed I had forgotten the socks upstairs.
I told them I don't feel well and took a nap on the couch.
Never threw out trash from my car, always dumped it in the passenger side floor. Must have been cleaning some shitty weed and threw some seeds down there too. Eventually noticed several marijuana plants sprouting through the garbage feeding off the decaying crap i kept placing there and some liquids that gathered on the floor mat. some were over 8 inches tall with several leaves.
Slept until like 3:00 PM, woke up only because my girlfriend brought me chicken and waffles, ate them in bed and immediately went back to sleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friends and I sat at a lunch table in high school right next to the vending machines. My friend used to pay one of us a dollar to go buy him something from the vending machines...8 feet away. He wasn't rich. He was just lazy as fuck.
FRDyNo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Blew my nose on my pillow in the middle of the night.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not attend classes for two consecutive quarters and subsequently about to completely withdraw from uni. Contemplating whether to break free from parents help (and they absolutely assisted me with their love + paying for tuition + allowing me to commute from their home) and get a job + attend CC, or hang myself out of shame.
In college, my dad and his roommates had a contest to see who can stay in bed the longest. They were only allowed to get up to use the bathroom and food had to be brought to them. After 3 days my dad's best friend won and stayed in bed for 2 more weeks just because.
Once you have children, your laziness is transformed into a dictatorship. Your children do your bidding for you. This sort of makes you feel worse than being lazy. example: remote across the living room, screw it i'll just watch the news(lazy). Remotes across the living room, I will call my child at their friends house down the street, make them come home and ask them about their homework, "Well while your here, hand me the remote.".
I am no longer lazy, I am a cruel cruel emporer, reigning over a throne of sweat and loathing.
Kukuroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying in bed on my laptop and had a huge urge to watch a certain movie. I already owned the movie on blu ray, but looked it up online because I didnt want to get out of bed.
One time while playing Borderlands with a friend of mine, I told him I'd wait in the car while he turned in the quest. I didn't feel like walking into the town. In a video game.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Threw away all my dirty dishes because I didn't want to wash them.
In college, my dorm room had a bathroom with a drain in the middle of the floor (basically the entire bathroom was one giant shower). After a night of partying I woke on the bathroom floor naked in a pile of my own vomit. My solution was to roll over, turn on the shower and just lay there under the water letting my puke slowly make its way to the drain.
My house was being remodeled and most of it was under construction so the fridge had to be put in the bathroom. For lunch I'd go home, sit on the toilet and make myself a sandwich.
I got up an hour ago to go to the bathroom and get a Dr. Pepper before I played more Super Meat Boy. I've even sitting on the couch for an hour redditing and haven't even opened my soda or played any more video games; even though both are sitting not 10 feet from me...
argued with my roommate for 4 hours to hand me the laptop that was within my reach if I just leaned over. Our rule was if you can grab something and hand it to the other person without getting up we had to. He did not respect the rule.
I used to pay my roommate to get me things from the fridge, microwave things and bring them to me, turn the tv on/off or up/down. I just didn't feel like getting out of my comfy waterbed and he likes a free dollar!
I know that this will probably get buried but here is goes anyway:
My freshman year of college, a girl who lived down the hall called me on the phone. I answer and she tells me to walk about 25 feet down the hall to her room. This is already lazy, as she could have came to my room but whatever. I do it.
Once I reach said room, SHE HAS ME FLIP OFF HER LIGHTS SO SHE CAN NAP. Her light switch is approximately 5 feet from her bed. I laughed and did so but this has got to be just about the laziest action ever taken by a human being.
When I was in high school, I was laying in my bed taking to my girlfriend on our cordless phone, and I realized I left my cellphone downstairs and needed it for part of the conversation. So I called my cell from the second line on my cordless phone blocking the caller ID (dialing *86 iirc). And moments later my mom runs into my room with my cellphone saying I just missed a call.
too lazy to go out and get good ice cream, ate the plain old ice cream in the freezer
czach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I forgot my reusable water bottle and cigarettes at home once, I just ended up buying a new pack and water bottle.
I also have christmas lights hooked up on the opposite end of the room that I sleep so I have a string that runs from the wire to my bed that I just tug on so I don't have to get up when I forget to turn them out.
I would sometimes cook cup of noodles for a minutes because I was too lazy to stand around the microwave any longer. I learned to love the crunchiness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I still use 2 remotes for my tv. One for cable and the original one for the tv because I don't want to do the 2 second google search to get the code for my tv. 9 times out of 10 I turn in the tv and never change the chanel. It has been on the "E" network for the past 2 weeks. My gf was over, I swear.
Satyrna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I threw a shoe at my pedestal fan because it wasn't facing me, the fan blades got stuck shattered instantly and I was hot for the rest.
elsugh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Call one of my brothers or my mom to my room just to have them turn off my light. I'm always taking a chance when my mom comes though, sometimes she'll just glare at me and walk away without turning the light off. Touchรฉ mom, touchรฉ.
caleb675 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was pretty sick one evening, which had me hocking loogies into wads of toilet paper. I was lying in bed and had run out of said toilet paper. Instead of walking to the bathroom to get more, I decided instead to spit into one side of my pillow, turn it over, and promptly go to bed.
Not me but my mother. She used to call me in from the other room to hand her things from the coffee table in front of her. All she avoided was leaning forward.
.... brain is hung up on fact that we "DO" something that is "lazy", which may cancel the whole "lazy" thing because we're still "doing" something, no matter how "lazy" it is.
I rented two books from Amazon back in May for a summer class and had to return them by October 15th. Literally all I had to do was print out the prepaid shipping label from amazon, slap it on the box and drop it off at the post office, which is 4 blocks away from my house. If the package was postmarked any later than the 15th, I would be charged the full price of the books (~$350).
Well October 15th comes around. Its 5pm, and I know I have an hour before the post office closes. So I log on to amazon to print the shipping label, and notice that for only $27.91I can extend the rental of these two books for which I now had absolutely no use for. You bet your ass I paid $28 dollars to postpone that 10 minute walk an additional 2 weeks so I could get back to my law and order:svu marathon.
scooter9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I walk my dog by letting her out and hope she comes back
light50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
facebooked my wife to come over here and type this
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once 'Shazam'ed a song that was playing on my laptop through iTunes because i wanted to listen to it later and didn't recognise it. I could have just turned around and looked at the screen.
DimitriV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's a trick question: if you did it, it wasn't lazy.
I really didn't feel like going to school one day so I took my shoe in my backyard and buried it in a hole. I told my mom that I couldn't find the shoe. Then I magically found it once school got out.... good times.
voodoo86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
knot353 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
My light switch is a little over arm length away. I recently super taped a string to the switch so it would turn off.
I have watch every episode of family Guy that is available on Netflix at least five times because Im too lazy to find another show to watch in my free time.
Speaking of netflix, you know when that message pops up asking if you want to continue watching? Well I've been to lazy to find my mouse so I could continue, and just take a nap instead. Most the time to find my mouse I don't even need to get out of bed.
Also my phones dead and the cord is about 5 feet away plugged into my PC. Its going to stay dead.
I was going to miss a trip to the ice rink with some friends because of a night class I had. They left about 20 minutes before I had the class but I never got up to leave. I wished I'd gone with them so I grabbed a case of beer and started drinking while I waited for them to come back.
Manggo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I routinely throw out socks and just buy new ones instead of going through the trouble of washing them. Same with very dirty dishes. Plate has too much dried food to clean easily? I'll just pick up a new one sometime this month.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I take showers at night and this one time I was way too tired to put the boxers I had later out in my bed. Would have required 5 seconds to put them on. Way too much work so I slept naked. Totally worth it
If I can pick it up with my toes; I Do. I mean anything. If I'm doing laundry, clothes, if I'm gaming, controller. If I can avoid like, leaning over, I do. Always. When I went to "work" at my sons pre-school (It's a community school, so every parent "volunteers" time) I bring a dustpan that you don't have to like, get on your goddamn knees for.
Then I take it home, because... It's mine.
I'm going to get them one, but like, for Christmas. Sorry, I mean for "Holiday present giving time", because you know, there's some Jewish people. No fucking Krishna or Witness people though, thank my knees.
jyao92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Check the weather on my phone instead of walking to my window.
I feel my muscles relaxing and my body drooping just from reading this thread.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spilled a bit of water on my desk. I was going to go grab a towel from the kitchen to wipe it up but instead I grabbed a used pair of boxers from my floor instead.
I broke the spark plug on the lawnmower when I was a teenager when my mom told me to mow the lawn or I couldn't leave the house. I told her it wouldn't start, naturally she didn't believe me and tried to no avail. It would have taken me less than an hour to mow.....
ethosaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I refused to leave my spot on the couch and wanted to play a different video game so I stepped one foot on the glass table next to me to reach it. I got 7 stitches and some awesome scars. I regret nothing.
I'm an attorney, and in the contract I was just reviewing I needed to change the payment terms from Net 30 to Net 45. There was a single paragraph that used (30) three times. I wrote 45, and then copy/pasted it into the other two instances.
Thereby saving myself 2 total keystrokes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I failed a class because I was too tired/lazy to wake up and go write the test.
Went to make bisquik biscuits. Ate the batter because i didnt want to wait for them to cook. It's basically salty flour and milk mix, so almost like cookie dough. Except not.
-d33jay- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a roundabout and had to turn right but there was alot of trafffic in front so i drove in the opposite direction through it, I was way too lazy to wait
Deirbhe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bugs are always getting on the tv screen on my outside porch. Decided to tie a washcloth to the door handle by my chair attached to fishing line. Now I can just throw it at the bugs and pull it back to me instead of having to get up to knock em off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
didn't eat because i was too lazy to go out to get food.
moysayss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
former nanny of 6 kids here.
We played this little game called "I'll time you! Ready...set...GO!" they will do anything as long as it's timed. When they get back I'll just make up a number.
Not me but a disgusting friend literally pisses himself in bed when he can't be bothered to get up to go to the toilet. Then he just lies in it. His girlfriend sleeps in the bed with him when she stays.
My wife decided the easiest way to move the dishes to our new apartment was to pull the dishwasher rack out of the washer with all the dishes and load it up into the van. Still cracks me up when I visualize it.
My friend and I were sitting on his comfy couch playing nazi zombies, and argued for a good couple minutes about who should walk across the map to hit an objective, both of us were too lazy to walk across the map... in a video game
Dyshin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to post a story about playing a lot of video games, but that seems like a fucking Triathlon compared to all of these anecdotes. How do you people gather the energy to breathe?
I've been tired enough to want to go to bed for 45 minutes. My bed, however, is 20ft away and through a doorway so instead I'm sitting here reading a thread about being lazy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was taking a bath when my alarm went off to take my birth control. It was in the cabinet above the sink and I didnt want to get out so I called my roommate in the next room to get it for me. She did.
Rigamix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working in Norway, I was sharing an appartment with some strangers who I never saw, and I was too shy to go talk to them or even share the kitchen with them, and way too lazy to go eat outside..
So I spent two months eating canned spaguettis and ravioli that I cooked "al dente" by putting the cans on my old and rusty room heater. Only the bottom part was tepid but weirdly enough I became addicted.
I'm in college, and me and my roommate got pretty drunk during a party. I did a crawl around campus, but my roommate went back to the room and called it a night. He really needed to piss, but my dorm has communal bathrooms, so the toilet was about 20 meters away from our room.
Instead of walking to the fucking bathroom, he decides to pee into five cups of brown, ammonia filled goddamn disgusting piss.
I couldn't figure out the fucking smell until three days later when I found the cups...
Still in the fucking closet.
And the worst part is that we were too lazy to throw them out for a whole week.
not my laziest but my best freshmen college speech class night before i give my speech i need a subject and i need to write it by midnight i had it "bad study habits" looked up things you should do as half my speech then used example from my life as the other half i got a 97 on it
Cmyers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Xbox, play next episode! XBOX!!!! PLAY NEXT EPISODE!!!!!
I used to sleep in my car for an hour every day after work because I was too lazy to walk inside my house and go to bed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Most recent one happened today. I'm home for Thanksgiving break and didn't want to get up from bed. Called for my brother (who was in the middle of a conversation with my mom) and I asked him to bring my leftover cake from the Cheesecake Factory so I could eat it in bed.
Atmosck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was watching netflix in bed on my desktop computer ~4ft. away from the bed. Rather than get up to change the show, I controlled my desktop with LogMeIn from my laptop.
so one week in college my roommate falls asleep with a freshly microwaved simply asia on his lap. naturally he spills all over the futon. so he flips the matress over. 3 weeks later he does the same thing with ravioli, all over the mattress. so i come and and im like why dont you flip it over. he laughed and told me about the other spill.
I used to be able to browse the internet, watch TV, and cook lunch for myself without having to get out of my computer chair in one house my family used to live in.
As a kid , my Mom yelled for me to come out of my room to change the tv channel for her. She was in the Kitchen watching the tv in the living room 15 feet away.
I moved into a new apartment about 6 weeks ago. I know where I want to hang pictures and such but have not even taken them out of the box, so a giant box of wall hanging stuff is sitting in m living room with a bunch or random crap on top of it.....bought a desk calendar which is still wrapped in plastic, sitting on the floor in front of my desk, which is covered with random stuff I can't be bothered to put away....my desk chair is being used as a makeshift table....and yet, I managed to organize my makeup in the drawer in the bathroom.....
hokum_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to reach remote, watched 4 hours of Chinese TV. I only speak English.
On my lunch break at work, I move my car to the closest spot available to the building. There have been several times I have moved it one space over to save myself a few steps.
I'll sometimes just wait to download "the walking dead," even though if I just got up and went into the other room, I could DVR it to watch later
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS?! I'm procrastinating so that other people will skip the commercials for me so I don't even have to press the fast forward button on the remote, I could easily finish the episode before I even find a good torrent, but I still just do absolutely nothing until I decide I want to watch it right then, then I watch it download
I used to go on a canoe trip with like 20 of us and we did as little as possible. We put put booze in eachother's canoes so we would not have to sit up to get fresh beer, we could just reach over.
Also years ago a girl I was with somehow started my bed on fire, probably cigs as we were drinking heavily, and I woke up and the mattress was smouldering and she was screaming for me to help her but I told her I didn't care, and went back to sleep on the burning mattress which she apparently dealt with since I'm alive.
When I was younger, I rigged my room so that I could turn off the light from my bed on the other side of the room by pulling a string. It actually worked for awhile until my parents complained about tape on the walls.
Today, I had two projects/papers due as well as two tests. I didn't start either paper until yesterday, and I didn't study for the test until an hour before class. I didn't study for the other test at all, and I've been to that class once since the last test. This is normal for me. I still maintain good enough grades to qualify for my state's scholarship, though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went back to college for engineering so I wouldn't have to be a line cook for another 10 years. Liking the desk job now.
Aikidi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I moved from my last apartment, I put my desk (pieces) in the back seat of my car.
Stayed in the back seat of my car for 15 months. Eventually I threw it out and just got a new desk.
kahuna08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was having a girl over for dinner and a movie. Started cleaning my house and doing a good job. Then i got into the kitchen and saw how it looked in there. I'm sure some of you know what it can be like as a bachelor with a full time job and no dishwasher?
Well it looked like Berlin in 1945, so i panicked, put all the dishes in a black bag, and hid that bag in the basement of the building.
I had 4 hours before she would come by but i couldn't be arsed to clean that shit right then.
"You only have two plates?"
petcson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I figured it was time to eat after not eating all day and sleeping till 1pm. So I opened a can of spagettios and instead of putting them in a bowl to microwave them I just got a spoon and started eating them right from the can. I didn't want to have to wash a bowl and waiting a minute and half for the microwave was Way too long.
My friend lives across a tiny street -- really more of an alley -- from a thai restaurant. His front door is at most 30ft from their entrance and they park their delivery cars in the alley in front of his house. We've ordered delivery from them.
I didn't make a lunch for work. So after work I was weak and lazy as fuck. A junkie started shit with me. I was too lazy to fight back so I just took the beating. Got up and continued to walk home.
sneez09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just got a new laptop and decided I wanted to watch Netflix. I had been using a Netflix account that belonged to a friend but I couldn't remember his email. (Checked facebook, checked my contacts on email, him and his wife were both not online). This meant to continue getting free Netflix I would have to get up and walk 40 ft to my phone. BUT! I had my debit card in my pocket. So I signed up for my own Netflix account so I didn't have to get up.
TLDR:I spent $7 a month to stay sitting on the couch
Nastebob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some of my friends where outside and the door was locked i was right next to it so i asked someone down the hall to open it.
ucbiker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Checked used underwear for skid marks and worn them again. Told myself I'd do it just one day and do laundry; went for a whole week.
I was so hungry one time that I grabbed an Empanada from the fridge and started eating it because it would take me 5 minutes to fry it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have an old curtain rod that i sleep next too which is just long enough to hit the spacebar so that i can keep watching Netflix and don't need to get up. I call it "my Netflix stick" ...
I was sitting on the floor between my couch and my bed. I got sleepy and cold but was too lazy to climb up into bed or reach over to the couch to grab my blanket. So I ripped the drapes off my windows right next to me and curled up for the night.
Sergnb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
pretty much my entire life is one gigantic "Top 1 lazy moments in history" highlight
I needed a pen to sign something, but I couldn't find a pen after my first 30 seconds of looking. In order to remedy this I ordered a pizza for delivery specifying credit card payment, and when the pizza guy got here I asked if I could borrow his pen and used that to sign. I ordered a pen.
heat up a hot pocket under my arm in college because the microwave was 2 floors down and outside. It didn't work and I basically ate it frozen. Same with a hot dog once.
mfink11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought brand new underwear because I was too lazy to wash my clothes.
Amazon primed toilet paper with 3.99 overnight shipping. It was cold, I didn't feel well, and I had half a roll left, enough to get me through to next day. I did this recently.
free187s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stayed in bed the entire day, only to get up for food and bathroom.
I do my laundry carry it 10 meters too my room then drop the laundry basket in my closet. Once it slides shut that laundry is never getting hung up I will use the basket as a dresser picking clothes out for the rest of the week directly next too my shelves and hangers.
Moved back into mom's basement, took the whole 'year off life'. Whole year, slept all day until 6pm, stayed up all night till 8am on Evony and other stupid online games. Had money saved, bought a brand new car, never drove it cos I was too lazy to learn as I never had my license. Left window down, rain got in & rot the seats. Didn't know for months coz I never went outside. When I found out, sold it to the repo dude for about a hundred bucks coz it had moss in it and couldn't be arsed cleaning it. Lazy as fuck.
Jizzed onto the t-shirt I was wearing and threw it into the corner of the room instead of getting the tissue at the other end of the desk. I'm not sorry.
This isn't as lazy as some people, but I had the twitter app on my phone and it updated so I had to log in again. It was too much work so I just deleted the app.
A lot of times I'll leave leftovers in tupperware containers for too long. Then throw away the containers when the food goes bad and has been sitting in my fridge for a month or more.
4clvvess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching a movie at home with two other guys, and we put a pizza in the oven. I was so hungry that when the timer went off and I took it out, I grabbed the pizza slicer and only cut the lines necessary to get my piece. It's common courtesy that whoever starts cutting the pizza has to finish cutting from every angle, and I knew that rule and I said screw it. I cut the lines I needed and I took my place on the couch.
After looking through the thread. I ain't that lazy. The laziest thing I have done is not take pop cans out of my room. Just kept them stacking until I would knock it over. Then I would clean it up.
I used to catch a bus quite regularly, to go from my local shopping centre, to my old house - 0.3 miles away, (about 0.5km I think!?) It was on the same road, from one end to the other! Cost me ยฃ1 standard base fare each time! But that hill was so damn steep!!
If anyone is interested (heck, I know I would be!) on Google maps, it was from Passmores Solicitors, to the Tynewydd Inn, Barry, South Wales!
A previous company i worked for as a telecom engineer had daily 1-2 hour operations conference calls starting at 8am. Luckily we were able to take the calls from home or on the road so that softened the blow. This unfortunately wasnt enough for me. I ended up writing an application that would call my cisco phone next to my bed at 8am, forcibly answer the call, then dial out to the conference bridge and enter the pin, play a recorded message of me saying my name and then record the conference call so I could play it back at 2x speed later to keep up to speed. The only think i couldnt figure out was how to wake up when someone was asking me a question in the middle of the call.
I had just started Nuclear Field A School with the navy was in school for 12+ hours a day Monday thru Friday. Suffice to say that once school and studying where over (we weren't allowed to take study materials out of the schoolhouse because everything was Confidential) I would be exhausted and just want to go to bed. Well one day I ran out of toilet paper and didn't want to take the 10 min round trip walk to the Mini Nex....for 4 days. Everytime I would go to the bathroom I would just shower it off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was laying down one hot summer... My shoulder started itching, so I scratched it with my teeth so that I would have to reach over with my hand.
Not me but I live in a really cold place and it's somewhat common in the winter to see people driving their nice warm cars really slowly down the street with their dog jogging alongside. Instead of walking the dog.
I live in the basement. The washroom is upstairs. Seemingly harmless bad habit turned into kidney stones.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went to my open book corporations law exam having not been to a single lecture or done any study for the whole course and learned the material as I answered the exam questions.
Gonzoco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh fun this should be my thread!
I got a stack of dishes in my room right now i gotta get rid of, been there for a couple of weeks
i was too lazy to put sheets on my bed so im just chilling on a mattress and comforter
i sleep in the shower sometimes because im too lazy to get out
i sit in the shower
i sit while taking a piss
i clean up spills with my sock
im too lazy to get my computer mouse even though im pretty sure its under my bed
im too lazy to fold my laundry so i have this pile of clothes in my room
too lazy to clean my room, got a pile of dirty clothes as well
in the morning i'll sleep in the clothes piles if i don't feel like going to back to my bed after getting up
too lazy to turn off my tv sometimes, its gone on for hours
too lazy to change underwear
i'll wear the same shirt or pants for a couple of day in a row
capitalization
Note: i don't regularly do these things they were just some of the lazy shit i did during highshool mostly
notmycat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time when I got back from school I dove onto the couch and plunged my face right into a big pillow and almost died from suffocation because I didn't want to get up. It took everything in me to move my head slightly to the left.
Zuex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was playing mine craft after I got my wisdom teeth out this summer. I was busy strip mining for diamonds and I was tired as shit from all the medication, so I put a rubber band on the right trigger so I never stopped mining, all I had to do was keep my thumb pushing the analog stick.
I have a batch script called x.bat that has "exit" in it. That way, I only have to type x to exit a Command Prompt.
pethcir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't get off the bus at my usual stop because I was too lazy to ask the guy beside me to move. That was definitely a turning point in my life.
Diasl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my younger brother. He would lay on the sofa and have his m9rning cup of tea less than half a foot away from him (easily within arms reach). He would constantly ask my mum to grab it for him until she did, even if she was at the otherside of the room.
Had to walk 15 mins to get home. Got lazy. Stole a 'kid scooter' (the one you kick to move) .
Arrived at home, threw it in a field.
Yep... I was an ass.
mihaidab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a bit late for this, but when I was in college, I called over a friend to my dorm room, not telling him why. I just told him it was very important. When he arrived I told him to give me a glass of soda from the fridge which was like 6 feet away from me, and he did.
dnplas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
definitely peed in the kitchen sink instead of walking to the bathroom
I normally take a dump, before I shower, and since I'm going to clean myself in the shower anyway, I don't wipe and just wash my ass crack in the shower.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
4th day into having the Flu I was so fatigued I stopped getting out of bed for anything except to poop... At 2am in the morning I puked all over my pillow and instead of doing something about it I just flipped the pillow over.
I couldn't be bothered with holding my iPod up for a duration of a Netflix movie on a charter bus, so i removed my shoe laces and tied it to the back of the chair in front of me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My television was downstairs and my bathroom was upstairs. I pissed in my empty drink glass and then brought it upstairs to drain only when I was already going upstairs anyway to avoid an extra trip.
Got one of those remote switches for my light taped right next to my bed.
Aadarm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live about 30 minutes from town, and only one place delivers and that's because I know the owners. I will call and order stuff just because I want a soda and don't want to run and get it.
I was hanged over and my head was hurting like hell. I was tired from going to the bathroom every 5 minutes to only vomit bile since I had nothing left inside my stomach anymore, so I just started doing it on the floor a few steps away from my bed.
After that my stomach finally gave me a break and I went back to sleep with all that vomit inside the room. It didn't occurred me hat I could use a bucket to make hings less messy.
I set my alarm clock across my room at one point so I would actually HAVE to get out of bed and go turn it off. So I immediately proceeded to start walking on my hands every morning to get over to my alarm clock without my legs having to touch the ground at all.
My mouse was about 6 inches out of my grasp. Used log me in from my iPhone instead.
neffs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Installed Teamviewer app, to shut down the PC while I was laying on the sofa.
_Steep_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a problem with buying a snack and then downing it in one sitting (whole bags of chips, candy, etc). It's unhealthy.
Luckily if I push the snack just out of my own reach, I'm too lazy to get up to get it back. Problem solved :(
I was wasted in Mexico, crawled into bed with two friends and threw and ash tray (left-handed-I'm a righty) at the light, shattering the bulb and the ashtray and strewing glass all over the floor.
We let the maids clean it up.
STD69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I rigged up a system of fishing line and hooks to be able to turn off my light while laying down in bed. Just for when you know you are too comfy to get up.
I added soy milk to my cereal. Ate the whole thing
DBrody6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did my laundry, dumped them on my bed to fold them. Proceeded to sleep on the couch for a full week because I couldn't be bothered to move the folded clothes from the bed to their drawers.
Broke a guitar string, instead of getting up and going to the guitar store a mile away I ordered them from Guitar Center online and they got there within five days.
Worth it.
Obligatory G-string broke joke
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pack of cigarettes on the coffee table in front if me, my brother in his laptop across the room. He asked for a cigarette and got no response from me. Eventually he got up to get ine himself when I asked him to give me one himself. I was playing pokemon on my phone.
One time a plate was to dirty to clean so I just flung it into the distance.
jsauce2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought new socks so I didn't have to do laundry that day.
woahhman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spent around 20 minutes trying to switch off the light from the awning outside my window with a mop. Going outside is hard. :(
Ereyno13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whoever was lazy enough to not post anything
THCLM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I routinely call my little brother who's room is on the other side of the house just so he can turn off the light in my room. I can't be arsed getting off my bed.
I've got a home automation system with remote dial-in telephone access... this makes you pretty lazy in itself.
But one morning it was soooo cold that I rang my "house" from the bedside phone (two phone lines!) to turn up the heat on the reverse cycle air conditioner.
flehyam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
let my phone die because I was too lazy to reach over and plug it in.
RockoBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually talking to my computer telling it to type this. So I guess this could count as lazy.
Oh, and.. one time at school, there was this girl about 5 feet away from the door. And I held it at first, but then she started talking to her friend, so I just let the door go.................................
I thought of an ingenious pulley system to open and close my bedroom door from my bed in order for the dog or cat to come in and out without me having to get out of bed every &(%^%%$ time. After 20 years I still haven't gotten off my ass and installed it. Too lazy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me... but back in highschool once, I was in my friends basement watching TV. She was too lazy to get off the couch to get the remote, so she called her mom (she had her cell phone) and said she was hurt in the basement, and please come downstairs. Her mum was super pissed to be terrified all over laziness and a remote.
mossy56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downloaded the smart glass app for my xbox because I was too lazy to get off the couch and start the next episode for netflix.
Freshman year me and my roomate would piss out the window or into our sink becase we were too lazy to walk all the way across the hall to go to the mens bathroom...
I once got up to go to the toilet, on the return journey I couldn't be bothered getting into my regular double bed, so I lay down at the base of my bed and passed out. My housemate saw me in the morning and thought I'd hurt myself, gave me a kick and burst out laughing as I stirred.
I've also gone to bed with my shoes and helmet on.
Everything is next to me when I wake up so I don't have to get up except when I need to go to the restroom. I got the mini fridge, laptop, phone, lamp, and remote control next to me. Anyone else wanna top that?
Doomahh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got back from the gym about an hour ago and said fuck it I'm not going to shower. I stink but I'm the only one that has to smell it
Didn't eat for 3 days because I was too lazy to unpack a microwave.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One I went to get mcdonalds for lunch and they told me to park in the carpark and they'd bring it out. Half an hour later they still hadn't so I called the store from my car outside. My excuse was that it was so busy I didnt wanna line up again inside to complain.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My laziest would be way to embarasing but up there is that i buy disposable knives, forks, spoons, cups, plates, bowls etc so i can just throw it out instead of washing up
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once screamed the whole time during the movies. My balls got stuck in the seats and just couldn't be bothered to get up.
Heh.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when I'm drunk while at my friends house, I pee in the sink so don't have to go downstairs/upstairs to the toilette.
nukethem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sit beside my charger while playing ps4, notice my phone is at 20%, don't take the time to pause for 10 seconds and plug in my phone. wake up at 4 pm the next day because my phone is dead, no alarm.
currently my phone is at 31%, charger next to me.......
Shup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Slept for 19 hours, woke up, turned on the TV, fell asleep about an hour into that, slept another 9 hours and got up to pee, then I just went back to sleep for another 5 hours.
I slept on the couch every night for three years because I had a loft bed and I hated getting out of it in the morning. I now prefer that couch to any bed I've ever slept in
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Neck got sore from holding up head while watching tv while reclining. pillow on other side of couch. Few inches out of reach. Lay head back and fall asleep at 4 in the afternoon instead. Considered mounting TV on ceiling next day. Too much effort.
Miles_Oh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a couple, I guess:
Put the last of a peach pie in my blender because I was too lazy to... chew? (Liquified pie batter/crust/whatever is fucking disgusting. DON'T DO IT.)
Used to swim at a municipal pool regularly with a friend. Rec centre was closed for maintenance when we showed up one day. Instead of driving for ten minutes to get to another pool we walked down the street and bought grilled cheese sandwiches from a food truck (to add, they were maple syrup and bacon grilled cheese sandwiches).
I guess that second one isn't that lazy but I've already gone to the trouble of typing it up so fuck ya.
I gave my boyfriend money so that he could do my weekly grocery shopping for me while I slept. I then asked him to make me breakfast, which he did only because he was also hungry. That is the laziest morning in my recent memory.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use a beer crate as a night stand.
sledge07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
washed my dick in the big tub sink so I didn't have to pay for a shower. it was a dollar in quarters and the closest place for change was a ten minute walk
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was the 1990's. I was single with roommates. We were all the epitome of laziness. Our schtick was to buy dishes, use them, throw them away and then go purchase new dishes. They were plastic though, so they weren't expensive.
tacoyum6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I dont clean all the beer bottles off my desk until I run out of desk space and window-sill space and book space and any other surface to rest my beer bottle.
i wore the same pants for perhaps 2 months because i didn't feel like changing and newly worn pants are always too thight which i didn't want to experience. No one knew since i told those who commented that i had 3 pairs since the were my favorites.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
impid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I set a booger down on my phone, in bed, about 2 hours ago. I'm now using my phone and just remembered the booger. gotta find it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This post inspired me to write a song about laziness. I have a nice chorus and while I was writing the bridge I realized I was too lazy to finish. So, unfinished song.
When I was a girl our puppy did a pooh in the bathroom. Too lazy to pick it up and put it in the bin, I put it in the cupboard where Mum kept the clean towels. Hours later Mum opens the door and sees a steaming pile of poop on top of her towels.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ghetto rigged cable in my room from the box in the living room, set up mirrors to bounce my remote signal to the box. It worked.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, roommate and I woke up at ~3pm. Ate a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in our pajamas and watched a crocodile show on Discovery Channel for half an hour. Then back to bed. That was our Saturday.
Flinkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine and I like to recount to each other what we call Lardass Moments (my favorite of hers is when she used a pork chop to scrape out the last remnants in a jar of ranch dip). My last Lardass Moment was also extremely lazy...I sat down and was about to make a sandwich when I realized I had forgotten to get a knife. Soooo I used a pork skin to put mayo on my bread. Not my proudest moment, but it was a tasty one.
Friend of mine (number of years ago) was paying bills and ran out of stamps. Didn't feel like going out to buy stamps, so she paid her bills by Fed Ex because Fed Ex would pick up from her house.
1%.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spent my entire extended summer holiday after highschool at home. Watching movies. Porn. Masturbating. Eating junk food. Binge sleeping.
Gained 30-40lb within 3 months. And even after 6 months, I'm still paying my debt.
Still doing it.
I had this pile of clothes on my bed that need to be fold into my drawers.
When it was time to sleep, i just moved it on my computer chair beside my bed and went to sleep. The next day, i would toss the pile back on my bed and reddit + games + videos + fap.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but I earned a 16gb flash drive(found it in the heap), hauling my moms ex roommates piss bottles out there were 60x2 liters and a dozen or so 20ozs. it was bad... he was shitting in zipplock bags and "tupperware", he had a fish he caught and was going to fatten up, it was in a large pan when it died he put a lid on it. he dated a girl and she had a kid the broke up 2 years before he got kicked out, still had diapers, he put his couch on a pile of trash because it would flood once in a while and let a stack of 1st edition d&d book get flooded and develop black mold. he gave me a computer and laptop, both were overheating because of the fungus flies. we had to tear everything out down to the cement and bleach it.
Soulrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was at my computer, and wanted to listen to the CD I just bought earlier in the day, (ie back when people actually bought CDs,) but I'd left it out in the car, and I couldn't be bothered going outside to get it.
So I downloaded the MP3s instead. Took ages, since this was back when we had dial-up.
Got a 4 cube ClosetMaid (similar to a book shelf except with cubes instead of shelves) at the beginning of this semester. Still haven't built it to this day. About two months ago, I took the pieces out of the box to encourage me to build it. It requires very basic building, has only 7 pieces held together with pegs and glue.
The pieces have been sitting in the middle of the floor in my room ever since I took them out of the box.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't wanna wash my kitchen pans, so i threw them all in the trash
li0ns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when i was a kid i used to make my mom brush my teeth for me while i was laying in bed. then she would tell me to get up and spit, but i would just swallow it. definitely not healthy.
my roommate and I got on the bus to go to campus one morning (about a 15 minute ride), and when it was our stop, we decided to just keep riding the bus back to our apartment. because fuck class.
I used to piss in old wine bottles when I was too lazy to go to the bathroom that was literally right outside my door. I had so many of these bottles of piss in my room, that instead of dumping them in the toilet, I dumped them out my bedroom window.
bruno238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whole lot of sleeping and doing nothing, didn't graduate HS on time, always submit HWs and essays late. This reminds me of the essay that was due two days ago, I've not yet read the book for it, need to find sources and get off of reddit now.
awb_67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pissed out my bedroom window instead of walking five feet to the bathroom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sleep on top of my sheets and blankets and just cover myself with another comforter. That way when I wake up I don't have to make the bed and never have to wash the sheets since I never lay on top of them. I also have about 7 pillows so I don't need to wash pillow cases until I've used all of them, on both sides. So really, I have 14 pillows in my mind.
I check my phone from my bed in the morning to see if it's going to rain. If there's even a small chance, I send a generic email to my professors about having car trouble or feeling sick. I don't have a car and I could walk to every class in under 10 minutes, I would just rather sleep and not risk the rain.
Walked into a shower for 2 min no soap or shampoo just let the water run off me did this for three days..
Tizy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called my 80 year old, cane yielding grandmother from across the house so she could hand me the TV remote that was just out of my grasp. I actually feel bad about that now.
Instant messaging my college roommate. The back of his chair was literally touching the back of my chair. I just didn't want to take off my headphones.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought new socks and underwear instead of doing laundry.
Late to the game, but I have two acts of sheer laziness that spring to mind. There are countless others.
There is a huge pile of change blocking my closet door that is about 10 feet away from my desk. How did this pile come into being? Whenever my cat would rattle the door to try to get into the closet, I would chuck a coin at his feet to scare him off. I was usually wide of the mark for the first few tries. I am often broke, living paycheck to paycheck, but I am too lazy to sort and count the money.
There is a pizza place that is about a twenty foot walk from my front door. I often order delivery and tip extra.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A few years ago a few of us met up to go play football, we waited in the lobby of the building where you paid for the pitches. After a while we realised no one had checked if there were any available so I got the short straw and had to ask instead of go up to the counter I rang them ... From inside the same room.
Sucked on my cheeks for a few minutes to build up enough saliva to swallow a pill so I didn't have to walk 10 feet to get a cup of water.
15thpen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In 8th grade I tried to use the Force to turn off the light. I was really into the Star Wars Expanded Universe at the time. My parents came in the room one morning, turned on the light and told me to get up. I wanted to get up and turn it off but was too sleepy and groggy.
One day after school, I wanted a coke. We had no coke. I proceeded to order a small pepperoni pizza and a 2L coke from dominos so I didn't have to drive 2 minutes to a gas station.
I was gonna reply to a reddit thread and then i jus...
dnap123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of cleaning my bong, I just used my jet lighter to smoke all the resin in the downstem... things good as new
phism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use the internet
labecula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used to live on the back side of a Domino's. Ordered delivery once, because free and it saved me having to walk around the corner to the front of the shop. The delivery guy looked very amused.
The TV in my room has been on for the last 4 hours. I have no interest in what's on right now, as it's the same 20 minutes of content that ESPN has been spewing all night. The remote is at the foot of my bed, yet I have not bothered to reach for it to turn off the TV.
Fadic4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had recently obtained a Chromecast which can be controlled from pretty much any device with an internet connection. I was sitting on my couch and had my tablet to the left of me, my computer on the coffee table, and my phone on the right side of me. I spent a good 15 minutes trying to decide which one was closer to me so I could put Netflix on.
Our living room in the final year of university had a floor board that wasn't screwed down. Cleaning up consisted of raising the board with the toe of one foot (from the couch) and chucking whatever needed to be disposed of into the cavity under the house. Once a month we had to get a clearing stick and push all the crap away from the hole to make more space. We fought endlessly over who who have to do this.
I came home once to find 8 cans of beans And 2 cans of stagg chilli on top of the board, with a note from a roommate saying "I saw a rat in the hole today - this should stop them getting out" the cans remained in situ for 6 weeks.
On our last day in the house we drove 8 big woodscrews through the fucker and never heard anymore about it.
I was on my PC and decided I wanted to play a game on my Xbox, but that meant I would've had to get up from my chair so instead I downloaded the game on my PC.
Tresher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used to order home delivery pizza shouting the order from my window to the pizza place 1 floor below. Threw down my credit card and gave them my pin so they could pay and then bring me my card back with the pizza.
I also used to take free rides to my parents place when they were out making deliverys.
....Most of the time, the reason i went to my parents was because i couldn't urge myself to cook my own food
Thereasa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always had a ton of pillows as a teen so if for some reason my door was left open and none of my tougher sisters or mom would come to close it I would just start throwing pillows at it.
Thereasa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
*younger sisters
Plazm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For my Grade 12 Business Economics final, I recorded myself reading back my notes and played back the audio while I slept. Just scraped by.
Was getting a handjob. Easily could have gotten up to grab a tissue that was about 10 feet away, but instead chose to just enjoy it. Then I had to bust. Didn't have time to make it to the tissues. So, I kind of pushed my girlfriend on her side so she was facing away from me and on the edge of the love seat so I could stick my dick between the cushions and bust. I told her I washed it since then.
Didn't.
Now my aunt sits on that couch every day in her apartment.
I have a rolling chair in my apartment style bedroom. It's a large chair, so I sit on it with my feet up. Instead of getting up to do something, I pull myself throughout my room using the other furniture, instead of putting my feet down to push. I could go all day without touching the floor.
The only reason I saw the movie Gigli is because I was laying on the remote when it came on tv and I didn't want to get up.
Randinus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am ashamed to say I had a cheque lying around the house with approximately $600 dollars in it that I never cashed because I didnt want to go to the bank. I am not rich.
Radille ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I browse my smart phone while laying down, I navigate using the tip of my nose so I don't have to raise my arm. I also open and close my mouth to zoom in and out. Only my lips touch my screen and I know that's still unsanitary but I choose to live life on the edge.
Ponkers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of getting out of bed to turn the out-of-reach alarm clock off, I reached down the side of the bed, pulled the plug out of the socket and slept in.
had a pound of tobacco ...ran out of paper....rolled cigs with the pennysaver
Paladwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as I left my lecture room doors, I realised I left my keys and my usb stick with all of my coursework on. Left it and waited outside my house for half an hour for my housemate to open the door.
On the couch watching tv, instead of getting up to check the time, I opened my computer which took about 3 minutes just to check the time and then closing it afterwards.
In high school, I wrote my name fast and the m became a series of wiggles. So I replaced the double m with a long underscore. Sa___y. Teachers would respond on my homework, "wh_t?!"
ezpinez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes i click startbutton > computer because i dont want to reach out my hand to press windows+e
Slept on top of my bed covers for 2 weeks because i was sick of making my bed every day. I used a small fold up blanket that I kept at the foot of my bed during that time.
slowwlol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Read nearly every comment in this thread because i was too lazy to find another thread to scroll through
My buddy's grandma had a scooter/rascal thing to get around, I was drunk and too lazy to walk to the bathroom. Rode it to the bathroom and sat on the edge of the scooter's chair and aimed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm lazy even in videogames.
oh..I need to walk all the way over there? teleport command.
Oh, have to drive one minute away in the city? taxi!
If I have no one making me eat, I'll gladly not eat if it means I don't have to cook. It's not that I don't like cooking or that my food is bad or that I dislike food, I just don't like cooking for/by myself and would rather just wait till I can't stand it or someone makes me eat. If I'm not in the mood to eat and someone makes me, my stomach just hurts or everything gets a weird texture that makes me not want it in my mouth.
On those days I would rather be left to live off of smoothies until I got hungry enough.
Also with the exception of today. Everyday for almost a month I was wearing these wool leggings my boyfriend's mother bought me as pants and threw on a sweater because they're warm and my closet is literally 99% skirts and dresses. I also went without a bra many a days and didn't shave because I'm flat, thin, and was covered.
josh_c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend was home in bed (hammered) and his TV was on. Instead of getting up to turn it off, he called his cable company to cancel his service.
Gloff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I texted a friend a space (blank text) to signify lets go to the bar. He understood and sent me an "aight". This is now our universal text for the bar.
rv49er ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Check if a package is delivered online before checking the door.
I threw up drunk on a hotel bed in Las Vegas when I was passed out. Woke up with puke on my face and in my eyes. Turned my head the other direction and passed out again.
Fenastus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just a couple of weeks ago, I woke up an hour later than I was supposed to and the bus was going to be at my house in about 15 minutes, so I just decided "fuck it" and I rolled back over, went to sleep, and didn't go to school that day.
When I moved into my new single dorm room, I unpacked everything onto my bed and slept on the floor for the rest of the year.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a remote control ceiling fan and a wifi thermostat. I don't have to get out of bed to turn my fan or lights on/off and I don't have to get out of bed to adjust my thermostat.
Champ_Z ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I'm honestly shocked at how amazingly lazy so many ppl are haha. I think the laziest thing ill do is take the family out to eat because after working 14 hours, I'm to tired to cool a full meal.
Najd7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was holding a plate that had tacos and there was two glasses, one was orange juice and the other was milk. I really didn't want to go back to grab the drinks so I decided to take both with one hand. I ended up dropping the orange juice and a good splash of it went straight into the tacos :(
Slade645 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My massage therapist friend offered me a full body, 90 minute massage for my birthday but I took a nap instead.
zefcfd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
more recently: I got wendy's and parked close to my apt cause i was hungry, and so i wouldnt have to walk far. I pretty much knew i would get a parking ticket but thought: "meh itll just be a few minutes, you can move your car after you eat" i went out after my delicious wendys and i had a parking ticket on my windshield. A $50 ticket, just cause i wanted to eat my hamburger 30 seconds faster.
Friend was asking me what an app was called. I was on my tablet and the app was on my phone right next to my head but I couldn't be bothered to pick it up, put in the code and tell him. Told him I couldn't remember.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did not clean room for 11months and only changed the bed cloth once. Didn't even change,just took it off and slept without it.
Laptop is in front of me... Used Alien Blue to browse reddit because didn't feel like flipping open the screen.
El_Mewo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was sitting in the bus to school and was too lazy to get up from my seat. 7 am, my ass. I felt very comfortable with the 2 hours ride that followed until I passed the school again. But I guess you know what happened then.
kblaney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At my first job out of college, I made an Excel spreadsheet that would do 80% of my work for me. I just had to transfer from the computer screen to paper so it looked like I actually did it.
I told them I was making a program that would help keep track of things and do "logistics" (safest lie in the world they didn't know what that was), so whenever I was caught goofing off I could use the excuse that "my code was compiling before I could test it" despite the fact that Excel doesn't compile.
It was actually snowballing laziness at that point. The more I automated, the more time I had to automate more things. By the time I got fired the longest task of my week was the daily commute.
cavistio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used my netbook to play Blast Corps because I was too lazy to turn the TV over to A/V and press the on button on the N64.
I had to download Project64 and everything.
zoob32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hit the snooze button on my clock for over 4 hours. I was almost late for my 1pm class (which was my 2nd class of the day).
Back at my old house I had my slim ps2 in my room probably no further than 4 feet from my bed. Instead of getting up to open the ps2 to change the disk I rigged a pole out of stuff laying around my bed. Taped a few rulers together and put a ball of tape on the end, then grabbed q new game with this tool I made and changed my game. Thought how cool it was that did that. Then realized how much work I did to do that when I could have just got up moved a few feet to do all this and would've had it done way faster.
Not me, though I was involved. I was at a party with some friends when my mom called from home, across town. She asked me to come home, so I did. When I get there, she calls me into her room and asks me to turn down the heater and turn off the lights. When I was done with the appointed tasks, I asked her why she called me home. It was to turn off the lights and turn down the heater.
Not me, but about a month and a half ago when walking to work I noticed a lawnmower about a 1/3rd of the lawn away from someones house in their garden. A 1/3rd had been mowed, the rest still long. It's still in exactly the same spot.
Student here. I frequently piss in a cup when I'm hungover and can't be fucked to get out of bed. I don't even have a special cup I just use whatever's in reach. Made the mistake of taking a glug once.
Began to type story on reddit then gave up because of laziness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched TV for five hours because the PS3 had crashed and everybody was too stoned to get up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be so lazy doing the dishes that after eating, I would just leave them in the sink. If they got too disgusting I would just bin them and buy replacements.
I ate out every single meal for 4 or 5 years and didn't walk into my kitchen unless it was to either microwave popcorn or get a drink out of my fridge. Yes I am male and yes I was single.
I needed to transfer some files from the server in the living room to the iPad in the bedroom. Problem was the FTP and VNC apps on the iPad can't run at the same time (no true multitasking).
I could have got up and walked the 20 or so feet to the living room...
Instead I started up the FTP client on my iPad, downloaded a VNC app for my Android phone, connected to the server and sent the FTP files to the iPad.
Sciar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely cooked some chili, didn't eat it because I suck at cooking chili, and threw the crock pot in the garbage so I wouldn't have to clean it.
Decided that one was probably best to do at 2am, so here I am outside in the middle of the night chucking a crock pot full of chili in the dumpster outside of my building.
I was out of knives so I used a spoon to spread my butter. The worst thing was there was a knife already used with butter next to the sink 3 meters away. I made eye contact with them but couldn't be bothered going for them.
Pantsuz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes, when I know I am going to do laundry, if I have a poop coming, ill just poop in my pants and wash it in the washer later, of it's really bad it messes up the washer but I'm to lazy to clean it, so the next load also is washed in shit water. I have communal washer/dryer. It's an apartment complexes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate and I have created a weekly holiday we like to call "No Chem Mondays". We don't go to chemistry on mondays any more.
huganic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm picturing all the top posts being submitted via Dragon speech recognition software.
I just quit my second job as my boss called and woke me up (I had planned to do this for a week now, though). Now I've got a huge urge to pee, but instead of going, I'm still in bed contemplating if sleeping more will help postpone the walk to the toilet.
After my TV remote was broken I used to switch the channels with a broomstick from the bed for like half a year...
kiwikero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can never seem to find clean underwear, and I'm too lazy to find a matching pair of socks. So when I run out of socks and undies, I just buy a new pack. Eventually my husband does laundry and it tides me over for awhile, but then the cycle inevitably repeats itself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this on holiday.
kambian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once, while extremely intoxicated, I decided to shit out of my bedroom window rather than walk the 15 feet to the bathroom.
That shit-of-shame sat there on the roof of the porch for years.
Yes. Porch. It is very possible that the neighbours saw a shitting arse hanging out of a window.
Tundreo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was the morning after a long party. I was absolutely hungover and just wanted to lay in my bed. I was woken up by the doorbell my roommate was ringing constantly. He clearly forgot his keys.
I still don't know how he got in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dipped a cold hot dog into a new bottle of BBQ sauce. No need to cook and clean, just eat! EAT!
I have a mate that can't be arsed walking in vidja games. EG: battlefield - he'll wait until im much closer to points of interest until spawning on me.
I like to wear shirts with a front pocket on them, so I can put a can of beer in the pocket. then I put a straw in the beer so I can drink without moving
carbonx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Idk if I was lazy or talented but I don't like to keep going up and down the stairs to bring the food up to my room one by one. So I just turn into waiter mode and put the bowl and dishes full of food on the surfaces of my arms and balance them while lifting my foot up to turn off the kitchen lights
Yeah, I know the name. I just like referring to McClaine as 'Die Hard'
Rastryth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every morning I throw a shirt in the drier for 10 minutes while I shower because I can't be bothered to iron my shirts
frulica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
played some custom map on warcraft, and had a donkey(just to carry cargo).
at one point i had to go back to the city and get an item, but was too lazy to do it... so i've sent the donkey, and felt really relieved that donkey could do it instead of me.
yes, i had to select the donkey, and route him to the city, and get him back. dont ask, i dont get it either.
I didnt want to take gym in high school so I paid to take it online. Yeah it's a thing, no it doesn't make sense, and it was crazy stupid. I almost failed the class because I couldn't be bothered to watch the mandatory lectures. I ended up muting them and watching movies or playing WoW on the other monitor occasionally glancing at the slideshow. I got a B- I believe.
Keep paying for the gym because I'm too lazy to go there to cancel my contract.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Yes! My time to shine! I quit smoking while being a pack and a half a day smoker of 15 years because I couldn't be fucked walking 200 meters to the shops.
I am still not smoking now 5 years later for the same reason.
Edit: After reading a lot of the comments, I have decided that being lazy is my super power.
I regularly sleep with the lights on because turning them off means standing up
I was all my bed sheets at once, I have about 6 sets and that keeps me going for about a year, my current bed has no sheet as I have recently been even more lazy and am going thru doonas as a bedsheet until they are dirty, then change to next one.
I'm a 3rd year student with no student card yet who hasn't paid a small fee to get my grades released
I download movies I already have because I CBF looking for the folder (this mornings one was 3gb)
Eating multiple bags of chips and drinking soda with friends while watching a movie monster marathon. No one wanted to get up to put the chips away, so I just tucked the two closest bags under my man boobs like chip clips. Forgot they were there and went to bed with them still pinched under there.
I was a doorman at one point. The doors could be unlocked from the inside by a sensor above just by walking near it, once it was really late and I was so tired, I threw a hand towel at the sensor to let the resident in.
insinr8r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered pizza for dinner and decided I couldn't be fucked answering the door when it got here. So I called my wife to come home. She got home about 30 seconds after the pizza arrived, paid the guy and brought it inside.
I eat the whole apple so I don't have to throw away the typically gross parts. Stem, sticker, and all.
jrb281 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The most lazy/inconvenient thing I've not done is not sign up for direct deposit at work. It takes way more effort to go to the bank but then again I'd have to find and bring a voided check to work.
As a kid I loved watching Pokemon but hated having to go to the restroom which was 2 feet away from the room I slept in (my sister's room,) because I did not want to miss anything. So instead I pissed in my sisters closet more than 4 times. I finally stopped when she told my parents her closet and shoes all smelled like pee. Apparently I did not know what commercials were.
While hungover I took a cab about 100 meters to get McDonalds. They only served breakfast so I waited for 2 hours even though there was another burger joint next door that's even better that I was too lazy to go to.
Sat thru the entire movie White Chicks, credits and all, because I was too high to grab the remote. Doesn't sound all that crazy, but if you knew how bad I thought that flick was while I was watching...
Stelfury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done a lot of lazy stuff, having a chinese delivered from a restaraunt 4 doors away. Using my phone as a remote for netflix/youtube on my tv, to name a few.
p4nz3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but a friend said at uni to save him from cleaning dishes he bought rolls and rolls of aluminium foil to place over the place and once he was done eating he would just bin the foil.
Not me, but I remember a previous thread like this. A redditor wanted to watch a DVD which was in the next room but he was too lazy to go and get it so he torrentend the movie instead.
My mom was sitting in the room next to me and asked for a movie so I put it on a flash drive, called my dog over, stuck it in his collar and told him to go to my mom.
This was my 18th birthday. I was driving down my street, just heading out to meet some friends. I get halfway down when I see two dogs wandering the street. I pull over, concerned. I get the two of them by the collar, remembering the house across the street owned two dogs.
I get to the door and knock. No luck, so I open their indoor porch and let the dogs roam around it. I knock on the next door and even shout inside, to no avail. Just as I'm leaving, I look sideways at a picture on the wall. It's some very nice artwork of two dogs looking through grass. However, these dogs were not the same breed at all.
"My car's still running, I got beer to drink."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this every day pretty much, to avoid turning thwarting light switch off, i use my bathroom light instead to read. Now that light is turned on by pulling on a string , so what i do is to tie up my phone charger cable and the light string, and once im done i untie them, pull on the light string, and go to sleep
mrkno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wrote a program and made some electronics for a raspberry pi so i wouldnt have to turn the pages of a book at night. Instead it responds to voice and/or eye movement
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:12:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the good, useful kind of laziness that drives progress.
BoberJr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fly annoying me with flying around me when i went to sleep i slapped her and killed her with my hand was to lazy to go wash my hands becuse i was already in bed just scrached off her body from my hand licked the rest and went to sleep. ps. i was much younger still makes me feel weird a bit
Jendy102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had been turning on pc with my thumb. Broke the switch, had to buy whole new case...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dear. That point in a day where you must eat but are now too hungry to cook.
LordCp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted my friend to come over, but he wanted me to come over. Told him i slept with his sister so that he would come over. And he did
Ordered pizza (didn't really need it, but I'll be damned if I didn't eat it) and 6 22oz bottles of Arrogant Bastard (didn't really need it but I oh so wanted it) for delivery from a pizza joint across town because I was too lazy (read: drunk) to walk to the corner store.
The look on the delivery drivers face when he showed up and saw that we had moved our entire livingroom setup to the front yard was priceless!
I ordered pizza from Dominos and the delivery guy walked it over because it was quicker than driving. Yeah, I could see shop from my living room window.
Kempiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a bunk bed as a kid, without the bottom bunk so as to save room, i ended up just throwing a load of sheets and duvets on the carpeted floor and slept there for about 4 years because i was always too lazy to climb up into bed
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Teleport to Varrock from the west bank on my way to the rune shop.
I'm too lazy to sit up properly in my chair so I'm hunched back in my chair redditing when I've got not one, but two computers in front of me with reddit open.
ilykdp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You all disgust me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Played dance mat with a controller instead of the mat
cfitz169 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hardly ever upvote anything because I'm always too lazy to log in. This is a rare exception.
I have an essay due tomorrow and I've been up on this fucking website all night, I didn't start until 1 in the morning. I try to procrastinate even more now at 3, I come back and this is what I'm greeted with? Give me a break I have 4 hours until school!
Not the laziest, but: I wanted something to drink out of but rather than laying a finger on the dishes overflowing from the sink I folded an origami paper cup.
Alex4921 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dropped my phone last night in bed,took it as a sign and went to sleep
my friend and i used to play call of duty on his xbox at the mancave for hours. well one day i came over and he was playing skyrim and we wanted to play some wager matches. Neither of us would change the game and we were determined to not get off his comfy couch. We played trials hd on his hard drive for hours...
ptokerT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
While sitting in my room gaming (and stoned, mind you), I'd use my mobile phone to call my home phone so that my maid would pick up the phone and bring me my munchies/drinks because the kitchen is out of yelling distance.
Never bothered opening the curtains in my gaming room. When I finally did about 10 months later, there was a massive fucking crow that had made a nest INSIDE. I guess he was hot and wanted to get cooler by using my ac. And I could never hear shit because I would walk straight in, put on my headphones and just game for hours without even looking.
I'm guilty of both, but the old jerk off, slip off sock technique..... OR!!!!! The old nut on your own stomach, then scoop your load up with your middle and forefinger like some kind if semen scooping scissors... Then, Simply hang your hand over the bed until it's dry... I'm a dirty dirty fucker....
Made soup in a Frisbee. Bowl was dirty, didn't want to wash it. Spoon was dirty, didn't want to was that either. Slurped delicious soup from a Frisbee... About as delicious as cold soup from a pull tab can can be.
Some of these things are lazy. others are just gross.
Aenzzor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live on the western coast of Norway, i were on a lan with my cousins, they live on an island long out in the sea. There were a storm at the night around 03:00 am and the internet connection went out. We were playing League so we couldnt play anymore and we was tired of Local area games.
We went to bed and i slept for 15 hours to the evening next day to discover that the internet was still down. We went back to sleep and then i slept for another 24 hours, waking up to the internet back up... After 39 hours of nearly continious sleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have my family tie stuff to my pug and have him deliver it to me or I have him deliver stuff to my family. I feel bad but it's either that or get up. Luckily he gets treats so whatever.
tuFuji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I got my friend (an electrician) to install a light switch in my room that can be controlled by a remote. Turning the lights off at night hasn't been an issue for a while now =)
The light globe in my hallway has been blown for around 5 almost 6 years now, there is a globe in the linen cupboard which is situated in the hall, right in front of the light socket.. it would take me literally 20 seconds to open the door grab the bulb and put it in, because it's a double socket chandeleir type hang thing that hangs within arms length and one of the sockets doesn't even have a bulb in it, so I wouldnt even have to remove the old one..
still not gonna do it but..
on another note; My front yard light has been out for about 9 years, and my backdoor light has never had a bulb in it for as long as I have lived here, yet I still flick the switch when walking out at night.. those 2 arent as bad as the hall though, they do require a little effort..
messy-h ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downloaded a torrent rather than get up and get the DVD.
necapew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted ice cold Diet Pepsi. Gas station, grocery store both well outside of the realm of my house and therefore too far away. Order pizza and 2L of Diet Pepsi online, delivered to house. Bribe roommate to answer door for delivery by offering pizza as payment. It would only have been lazier had I had Diet Pepsi in my fridge at the time and did not want to get up to get it. Now regret not lying and saying that was what happened...
zhearsgu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Watched an entire 6 hours America's Next Top Model marathon because I and all of my flat mates were to hungover to find the remote.
Sometimes when I'm browsing the net in bed with my wireless mouse if I ever want to search something ill text it to my email and copy/paste it or copy/paste letters one by one from a webpage just so I won't have to sit up.
NahSoR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm slacking off of finishing a paper that was due last Tuesday
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I eat soup straight from the can because I'm too lazy to put it in a bowl and microwave it. I also eat frozen eggo waffles straight from the freezer cause I'm too lazy to put them in the toaster.
The added warmth to my food is not worth the 1-2 minutes of heating time. It does not improve the flavor.
I have three bathrooms in my apartment. The toilets seem to clog easily, but instead of unclogging them right a way, I just close the lid shut the door and move on to the next one until they're all clogged up beyond recognition... ah the bachelor lifestyle.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I laid in bed for an entire day watching nothing but Pokemon while eating mini Kit-Kats, and only getting up to go the the bathroom.
threw away all my dirty dishes (6 plates, knives, forks etc) instead of washing them =/
SIOS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't feel like getting out of bed to pee, so I picked up a towel that was on the floor, balled it up, stuck my dick in it, and peed into the towel.
My dad was sitting at his window with his sister, his friend walked past but he was too lazy to knock on the window with his hands, he decided to gently headbutt the window to get his friends attention and it smashed
Well.... Yesterday, I was too lazy to close the bedroom window that is right next to my bed. Slept with wet hair and it was below 50 degrees outside (California). I got sick this morning.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school we had to write weekly summaries on books of our own choosing, so instead of picking a book I just made one up. It was titled "Fishing for Spoons," a coming of age tale about a boy from the inner city that just needs some direction and his elderly neighbor who just needs a friend.
Quit and moved back in with parents because I hated my job when I was 24. Did absolutely nothing for about 3 months, then found better job and moved out again.
Once thought about getting up and out of bed, got tired thinking about getting up ,and slept again instead :(
MrDaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Needed to get some cash for my room mate. Got in my car and went for a 20 minute drive to a strip mall that I knew had a drive through ATM.
Second place: Set up a PXE server on my desktop because I was too lazy to get a blank CD from another room, while trying to install windows on my laptop.
I used to text my brother in the other room to get me a glass of water since his room was closer to the kitchen. My room was about 20 feet from the kitchen.
Not me but my mom will call my cell phone and yell at me to come to her room at turn of her light. If I don't do it she will just keep yelling, then get up, come to my room all the way on the other side of the house to yell at me to turn off her light.. you just got up why don't you do it? She does this with the tv controller to.
I read on here some time ago about a guy that bought a clap-lamp (you know, you clap and it turns on/off). Recorded himself clapping and replayed it to turn on/off his lights.
I know that no one will ever see this but... My cousin would sleep in his school uniform so that he could get up an extra 10mins later.
Edit: Autocorrect is a bitch.
migal00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called my sister to turn my lights off for me. My room's in the basement, her room's on the 2nd floor.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:10:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was the younger sibling. I always wish I had a minion to push around like this, but instead here I am, ten years later, still fetching things.
Riovr4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so late! When I have a runny nose (allergies or sickness, not very often) I grab the closest shirt because walking across the hallway to get a kleenex box is to hard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I'll leave clothes in the washing machine until they get smelly and mildewy because I'm too lazy to move them to the dryer - Only to have to rewash them. Sometimes the cycle repeats.
I have complained for months about how uncomfortable my bed is, with full knowledge that I have a memory-foam mattress rolled up in my closet. Finally put it on my bed last night, best sleep of my life.
i_i_v_o ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was in a school mountain camping trip. I think there where five of us in the same room. All about 13 y/o. The light switch was beside the door, but the beds where on all the other walls. there was only a light-bulb. No one wanted to get up to switch the lights off, so the dumbest of us threw an ax to hit the light bulb. He missed the light-bulb, and luckily missed the chump sleeping opposite.
I was actually too lazy to sleep once. There was a clothes basket on my bed and I didn't feel like moving it. So I said fuck it and browsed reddit all night.
I came home completely wasted after a night of heavy drinking, walking was nearly impossible. Somehow I managed to reach my bed and just when I was ready to fall asleep, I had to piss, badly. Going back to the toilet was not an option, so I took this big pint glass standing next to my bed. Man that felt great.
When I woke up the next day, I didn't remember much of the night. My head was killing me and my mouth was really dry and sticky. So I found this nice glass of water next to my bed to ease the hangover. And just a split second after I took a big sip my memory came back. That did not feel great.
I once drank a too much scotch when I was 17. On my way biking home with my friend, I fell in the bushes. My friend couldn't get me out of it, but luckily a friend of my sister biked by and brought me home (put me in front of the front door where I fell asleep). My sis came home and put me to bed. She stuck a bucket between my legs so I could puke in that.
Well, I did puke in the bucket, but the moment I woke up and turned around, the bucket fell on the ground. Puke all over the floor. I just vacuumed it until my gf came home. Then I had her vacume it.
conflab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I couldn't be arsed to wipe. Simultaneously the laziest and most disgusting thing I've done I think.
Was on a roll with this program I'd gotten an idea to write in a dream. Had to piss like a race horse, and went in a 2-liter bottle rather than stop, and go to the bathroom.
My senior year of high school, never did my homework.
My friends: "Yo, you want to copy?"
Me: "...nah, I'm good. That looks like a lot of writing."
I wonder why I didn't get a merit scholarship...
TRBenji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Been 20.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've tried to use the force, several times, to reach things that are literally an inch from my grasp. I spent an hour trying to get the remote from the coffee table to my hand.
kobomino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought a new laundry basket instead of washing the clothes in the other basket. Also buying new clothes instead of washing them sometimes.
I am sitting in a chair beside a low set of bunk beds, while reading this thread I tilted my head sideways and leaned it against the top bunk so I wouldn't have to use my neck; only realised what I was doing and how lazy it was (and that I actually do this every evening), as I was reading these replies and thinking about lazy shit... I may also have gotten too lazy to finish reading other people's replies before chucking in my own.
One time, instead of getting out of the couch, I rolled out. I then realized I would still need to get up to get to my destination. I am not a smart man
willielf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Waited for the bus which ended up taking 30 minutes to ride 1 block up the street.
sippher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I'm too lazy to finish my comme
xombem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hate doing dishes. After one bad break up, when he moved out, I just stopped doing them altogether. I think I survived solely on hot pockets. Well, I moved out of the apartment with a box of dirty dishes. And then put them in storage. For 4 months.
I pick most things up off of the floor with my toes because I can
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eat only cereal with milk for a weekend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh man I'm comfy, but I need to piss so fucking bad"
I pissed in an empty pint glass, not only that but I successfully threw it out the window, didn't spill a drop. (Plastic pint glass I'd brought home from the pub)
eder3g4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ran out of toiletpaper, and instead of buying some new, I took a shower everytime I took a dumb!... which lasted for 3 days.
Now I have no shampoo
Sleepman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in bed with the laptop beside me outside the covers. I wanted to go to a new website but instead of moving slightly and typing I selected individual letters from the page I was already on and copied and pasted them into the address bar. Took forever and I was both proud and ashamed at the same time when I finally got it.
I can't be bothered trying to decide what TV show/movie to watch, so I wrote a Python program that chooses for me. It took several hours of work. As a result, it was probably the most complex way of solving my indecisiveness...
Had a statistics test...but my friend had beer...knowing my professor drops the lowest test grade I skipped it...and drank beer instead...With college students I'm probably not the only one that does shit like this
Taking a shit, too lazy to put my penis through the hole between my legs (it was sitting on top of the edge of the seat at the time). So I reached forward to grab a cup from the sink directly opposite the toilet, pissed into that, then emptied it into the sink and rinsed the cup out afterwards.
TFOLLT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once got too late out bed for an exam in highschool. The teacher gave me an f, but he told me i got a second chance of making the exam. i thought for 10 seconds, then i said;"Nah, just give me that f, i'm too lazy anyway, don't feel like making it." I'll never forget his face.
About 5 years ago I went camping, on the way home I forgot the tent in a friend's car. Never picked it up, it's still at his place. I even bought a new tent cause it seemed easier.
roccala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have tried to move things with my mind, on multiple occasions.
Had bacon & eggs in the fridge & woke up with a hangover on the weekend. Couldn't be bothered with the process of getting up, cooking, or cleaning so I downloaded the pizza hut app so that I could order an Aussie pizza (has bacon & egg on it) to be delivered to me. Promptly went back to bed with the pizza
Always end up eating the ungodly portions of leftover chinese food that I tell myself to keep for a later meal just because I don't want to get up and put it in the fridge... Ouch my self-esteem.
AYSanie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i make a dual vocational education and training in germany, so we have write each week down what we done, its like a diary about my work wich i need to proof my experience and become my degree.
lazy me hadn't done a simple week in 3 years, so i build a webapp that do all this shit for me :)
JamesDKL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't washed clothes for 6 weeks at uni. Already bought 16 new pairs of undies this term.
chyper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
climb over a table fro an apple rather than walk round it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
chyper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lol it was
Ygdrowen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate and I live in a two room apartment. We regularly call each other on the phone instead of just raising our voices to be able to talk to each other.
sazzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When we were at Uni, I knew someone who rang a friend of his, who's room was 3 floors up, to come downstairs and make him a cup of tea so he didn't have to get out of bed. His room was across the corridor from the kitchen.
Sometimes, if I'm really relaxed at the computer and need to type something, I don't want to lean up and use the keyboard or move my right hand. So I look for the letters on the page and individually copy and paste them where I need them until I'm ready to search/go to that url.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This thread actually makes me feel responsible and motivated. Jesus, people, that's bad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: I guess I'm not a lazy motherfucker after all. Comparatively speaking.
Last week I dropped my phone under my bed, I then crawled under my bed picked up the the phone and promptly fell asleep under the bed.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't this title a bit oxymoronic?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I watched TV shows on the internet on my PS3 because I didn't want to get up and change games.
uiemad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do all kinds of lazy shit. My 2 most occuring are...
I need to pee, but I need to go to work in 2 hours. Ill just wait till I get up for work so I only have to make one trip (my bathroom is like 10 feet away.)
When 3d modelling Ill make a mistake 5 minutes in and think, "I aint doing that 5 minutes over again" that fuck up continues the make the rest of the model a colossal pain in the ass but I stick with it.
Bahlam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I throw my used plates and utensils in the trash can so I don't have to wash them. Also, when I'm out of toilet paper, I look through the trash can and "re-use" some old crusty ones.
Sevzor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wash my dirty laundry regularly and take it off the line as soon as it's dry. However, that pile of clean laundry stays on my bed for weeks at a time and I would just move it aside and sleep to one side of the bed.
My girlfriend has been the only one who keeps folding and putting it all the way when she comes over. I honestly don't remember the last time I've done it myself.
tycul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Woke up hungover and threw up in the middle of my bed. Couldn't be bothered dealing with it then so curled up around the vomit and went back to sleep.
I went to a festival once that didnt allow any glass bottles in. So we had to dump our 4 litre plastic bottles of water and fill them with whatever bottled alcohol we brought.
I had a few bottles of buckfast (mighty nectar) and a couple of red wine (the beers were allowed, phew!). So i poured the buckfast a red wine into the 4 litre plastic bottle and brought it into the campsite without any further issues.
Within minutes, seemingly, I was wankered and in no mood to keep sheparding the bottle around everyone. This drink was to be shared between a few of us so I ended up tying a string to the bottle (it had a handle thanfully) and throwing the bottle around the social circle we had formed, while keeping hold of the end of the string. Then when the other person had finished a swig I could drag it back without moving, which meant I didnt have to faceplant the ground in front of my friends and could still continue drinking.
I was happy with that string on a bottle concept. It served me well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[Meta] The lack of effort involved to do something doesn't make it lazy, driving 20 miles to work instead of walking isn't lazy even though it's less effort. Something becomes lazy when you sacrafice other things immensely to reduce effort.
revital9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downloaded a movie instead of getting up from the couch and fetching the CD it was burned on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Googled something using my mouse and the On-Screen Keyboard even though I was at my computer because I didn't want to lean forward to actually type it in.
Started to play a movie on my computer. I got on the couch and realized that the mouse pointer was in the middle of the screen. Spent the next 30 mins of the movie throwing everything around me at the mouse so it would move to the corner.
Not for me But... My old land lady would send me text messages asking me questions. I was in the room beside her less than 6 feet as the crow flies. Just to counter this I'd open the door and knock on hers to answer the text.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have a paper that was due four days ago. Teacher gets SERIOUSLY pissed if a paper is even ten minutes late, so I faked a fever and skipped school instead of having to see her today. The paper is still not done....
Had mono in high school. Got a month out of gym by doctor's note. For the next 3 months I told the gym teacher I still had mono. I don't even know how that worked.
I had stomach food poisoning and was laying in bed at night. I wake up and say "Oh no." and my wife is curious what's wrong. I needed to go vomit but I was really tired. So I said "Oh no, no, oh how terrible."
I volcanoed all over myself and then just laid there for a while. My wife was not pleased.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have 4 assignments due in this week, I haven't started or even turned up for class in about a month and i was given them in September, I'l do it tomorrow.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:59:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I dont know, are either of us willing to get up to look in the mirror to check?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sat on the bus for 30 seconds so I wouldn't have to walk the 100 meters or so it takes to get from my house to starbucks.
Dogimed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Farted to scratch an itch
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I waited until the morning my Senior project was due(needed it to graduate), and started writing my paper an hour or two before the bus came. I finished it 5 minutes after the class I had to present it in started, and I didn't have enough time to write anything on a power point so I just used pictures and ad-libbed my speech. Got the highest grade on it, a 97 in my class.
I once had class and work in the same day, but I decided to sleep in. I had left my phone in the bathroom the night before and didn't really feel like calling in. I worked at 7pm, mind you I woke up at 1pm. Showed up 2 hours late for work after I extended my nap, gave a lame ass excuse about my phone not receiving calls and that I forgot I had to work. I was almost fired but I got about 15 hours of sleep, naps factored in. Good day
Every day I take the train to work. If I notice there's no delay this means I'll be arriving at work 20 minutes early. In this case I intentionally stay on the train until the next stop, get off the train, take a train back, just so I wouldn't arrive at work early (and this way I can rest a bit longer).
avg-bro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just care less and less about where I pee in the city now.
Nomunos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordering water at the pizza service
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
12, needed to pee, was playing rayman on the gba. Couldn't muster up the effort to go to the toilet.
My roommate and I once drove to Taco Bell. It was on the other side of the block from our apartment, probably about 400 feet away if we took the alley route.
want to go to google.com. type the letter 'g' and hit enter. even if it isn't an auto fill-in google is almost always where it takes you. also too lazy to hold the shift button down today.
rebelx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:10:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Close, that's GMail for me.
Ryboii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laying in my bed eating cake while watching livestreams on my monitor.
tristanl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
after moving house i couldnt be stuffed putting my bed together...so it was a mattress on the floor, with no sheets or pillow case, for the next 4 months...
Back in the days of tape players, I had a relatively nice one from the 70s. The Play/Stop/Rew/FF/Pause/Rec buttons were metal rods that stuck out from the front of the deck.
I used to love reading while listening to music before I fell asleep, but I hated getting out of bed to turn off the tape player and turn off the light. So I taped string to the Stop button of the tape deck and the light switch of my room, then ran them to the side of my bed. When I felt myself drifting off, I'd close the book, pull the two strings, and go to sleep. Mmmmm, lazy innovation.
I was really drunk when I was younger living in a share house. Couldn't be bothered walking to the bathroom so I just vomited beside my bed. I ended up putting white out over the stain instead of just cleaning it up...
I was watching Dr. Who on Netflix and someone asked me to turn down the volume. I paused the video. Took out my phone. Synced videos up. Muted the television. No need to get up for headphones, cause I listened to the video through my phone.
OldWolf2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was doing a third-year logic course at university. It was 50% internal assessed (presentations and tests during lecture/tutorial time) and 50% a final take-home exam that you got a week to do.
I got 49/50 for the internally assessed part (I loved doing that shit so it was easy). Then for the take-home test I didn't know where the place was that you picked it up from so I just stayed home and went on IRC instead. I failed the course since 50% was the pass mark.
I don't have class until 3 on Fridays so naturally Thursday is my "go out and get plastered day". I wake up Friday afternoon around 2:45 decide it's too late for me to make it and I just stayed in bed. Until Sunday...
probably missing loads of classes to play wow and ended up getting warning letters for my attendance. Still continued to skip classes to play wow and ended up getting fail grades in all my subjects
Ciderbat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought $200 worth of paint when I moved in to my current apartment. I still have shitty white walls and $200 worth of paint in my closet, 6 years later.
Vulg4r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was hungover one day and really wanted blue gatorade. So i went on grubhub to order from the deli by my house that delivers. They had a 20 dollar minimum. So i just ordered 20 dollars worth of gatorade.
I figure if I buy another dishwasher I would never need to put my dishes away ever. As soon as one is full of dirty dishes, turn it on and you got a cupboard full of clean dishes. Now use the other dishwasher for dirty dishes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actually started laundry.... but there it is still in the washing machine a month later
When I was younger, I would lie in my bed reading with my light on, but instead of getting out of bed I would use a long wooden dowel to turn off the light switch across my room.
Skirtz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Couldnt be bothered to dry off a dish so I put it in the microwave for 30 seconds.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eaten food out of the can instead of preparing it.... It made me feel like the the world's laziest cowboy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on the couch in my living room watching TV, having skipped school that day. I wanted to change the channel, but the remote was down the other side of the coffee table, and out of reach. My solution? Kick the closer end of the coffee table, sending its contents flying through the air, and catch the remote. Problem solved.
hdmackay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:17:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Using the on-screen keyboard on my laptop with my mouse hand because I was slouching so much and couldn't be bothered lifting my free hand to the keyboard.
mark01254 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:17:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
In winter when I don't have to drive to work I just move my car a few meters so it's no longer in the shade of our house and the sun melts the snow/ice away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
n0Skillz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I need TWO pieces of paperwork to collect somewhere in the range of 3-4 grand from work. I've tried exactly once to get it and they weren't in the office so I haven't tried again.
Dam262a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Room with bathroom connected, wakes up pee's in plastic cup next to bed, goes back to sleep.
In high school I had a project due in one of my classes that I had 2 months to complete and I never did it. Upon the due date, I lied and said that I became sick while diligently working on the project and had accidentally vomited on it. She felt so bad for me that she gave me a 2 month extension... I still never did it.
Eldis_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ASked my dad to give me the tacup. it was next to me but i didnt want to move. And yes, he gave it to me! XD
Couldn't get my tie off after long day of job hunting. Cut it off and had no tie for next interview. Not sure if lazy or rage...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once bought a bulk lot of 100 pairs of socks so I could have new socks everyday without having to wash them. When I used them all up I gave them away for free on the proviso that they got picked up and I didn't have to wash them.
Phoned my mom from the other side of the house, asked her to come to my room for something important. When she arrived I "forgot" so she walked out again, annoyed, closing the door behind her. I just wanted my door closed but didn't want to wheel my desk chair all those 3 metres.
A popup came on my PC while i was watching a movie. Instead of getting up from the sofa to click the mouse i downloaded a VNC app on my phone.
Took around 50 times longer.
beefknox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pee in a bottle cuz i didn't wanna go down the stairs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered take-out from the pizza place directly across the street.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest thing I have done is doing my shoe laces so that it is tight enough to stay on and loose enough for me to slide it in and out. I just do a triple knot on it so I never have to do my shoe laces ever again! Gotta go work? Just slide it on. Gotta go for a jog? Just slide it on. Gotta hit the gym? Just Slide it on. So simple.
more than a number of times Ive blown my nose into a sock. also peed in a lot of gatorade bottles cause I was too lazy to go upstairs and use the bathroom.
Arto_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once when I was in middle school, I was playing waw at a friends house. His mom brought us ice cream with a cookie lodged in it that had some type of filling I had not seen before. It looked weird and asked my friend what the hell was this thing, but cut off his reply by taking a bite out of the cookie. I forgot i even asked him anything. Fattest thing I've done
For my birthday last year, I got my first tattoo, which I'd been planning for 4 years. I chose my tattoo shop based entirely on the fact that I can see the shop from the back door of my house and could walk there in under 30 seconds, and I chose my artist based on who was there and wanted to make 2 bills.
I went to a brothel, but couldn't be bothered having sex. I asked her to take her top off and I had a wank instead. Didn't even really finish. Only cost, like 20 bucks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to throw my pillow at the light switch. Didn't even make it half way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
major in liberal arts
partenon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Ciderbat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've pissed in the bath, but I did wait until I was standing up and the tub was draining, and aimed for the little whirlpool area. I supposed I could have turned 90 degrees and pissed into the toilet beside my tub...
Ciderbat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live not far from my brother's house. To come back home I can walk, rent a bike or even take public transportations. That day I choose to rent a car instead...
Stnavres ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I screwed hooks into my walls and ceiling that I used to secure a rope from my bed to the lightswitch so that I wouldn't have to get out of bed to turn off the lights. Then I thought it would be funny to put a sign next to the rope that said, "In Case of Zombie Apocolypse, Pull Cord."
ruzzler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
End of year 3 of a 5 year course at the university, while packing up for the semester break, cleaning out desk drawers of bits of cookies and fried food, I was too lazy to pick up mothballs to spread around the room, especially, inside the mattress [Note: This was an extremely humid tropic city with a penchant for bugs and the like]. Packed everything up, and merely rolled up the mattress and placed it on the corner of the bed.
Come back after a month and a half to find the mattress covered in weird looking fungus. Throw out the fungus-mat and ask dad to send some money to go get a new one. Guess what, never got the new mattress. Slept on the hardwood bed with a sheet on for the next 2 years. Funnily enough, started liking the feel of a hard bed that soft mattresses don't feel good anymore. Except for the cold winters. Those few months were a bitch.
Braizy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes if I'm leaning back in my chair and using the mouse on my belly, instead of sitting up to search or type I'll highlight, right-click copy, and paste letters from the page I'm currently on into the searchbar, as to not have to use the keyboard. This took about 20 minutes to mousetype.
My brother and I often have bets like if I can kick this ball over the goal posts from the yard you have to retrieve the ball, if I miss I'll get it. I missed, I drove my car the 40 yards across my garden to get the ball.
TL;dr lazy
I was playing a video game where i needed to collect dog tags. I was camping in a corner and right infront of me was a dogtag. I was too lazy to get it. IN A VIDEO GAME!
My first year living alone i didn't have a dishwasher. So when all my dishes were dirty i put them in a bag, drove home to my parrents and used their dishwasher. It was 45 min drive one way...
batfiend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went to the toilet drunk, sat down for a wee. Toilet faces glass shower wall, I fell forward, arse on toilet, face on glass, suspended between the two.
So I slept there.
DJTuret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not the laziest, and probably not what you're really looking for, but this is the first thing that comes to mind.
For my programming unit last semester we needed to put together a command-line interface for a music player, that included various sorting and playlist functionalities. 2 of the things we had to do was be able to sort songs either alphabetically or by rating, and the other was display playlists.
Being the lazy motherfucker I am my playlist display only worked if the songs were in the order according to their position original in the array. Instead of changing that so the program actually looked into each song's data to make sure a playlist display command was showing the right songs (since if they had been re-ordered by name or rating their indexes would be wrong), I just got the program to re-sort them back to their original position, display the playlist and sort them back to how they were before.
My brother and I were both laying on couches and we both wanted to change the channel but didn't want to get up to get the remote. Instead we called our other brother who was in the basement and made him come up just to hand me the remote.
'Merica!
3amtime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rather than pick up my work phone 2 feet away, I log in on my personal phone to my web email client. Pseudo lazy as it takes much longer.
When I was in the army I'd pay a guy a soda each day for always folding my sheets, and polish my shoes.
During out 30 km walk I hitched a ride till I was a few km away from our camp, went in the forest and took a nap while waiting for people to catch up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
didn't go to class all week (college)
stabro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta love the ol' second spring break.
KnifeFed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a motorized wall mount for my TV so I can angle it towards the bed using the remote. I am getting remote controlled dimmers installed for all the lights in my apartment.
Started using disposable paper plates for meals so I didn't have to wash real plates.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pick things up from the floor with my feet on a regular basis (like socks and stuff) , so that I don't have to bend down. That is my highlight of laziness...
Pissed in my bed because i was to tired to get up.
mjc1027 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would post something, but I'm too lazy to do it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
School started in August for me. Had my notebooks and shit from the beginning, but instead of adding paper and getting them all in order, I just shove all my papers I get into that class's textbook.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered a pizza with delivery. They didn't have delivery so my only option was a Taxi. $10 pizza, $20 taxi.
Blinkkkk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Better write some of these down for the future... or ill just copy and paste.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure the drunken wank sock is high on the lads list. You know because the bathroom is soooooo far away for more appropriate knob wiping material
Not me but I knew a guy who got a job cleaning out gutters on houses. He climbed up on the house, sat there for a while without doing anything and came back down and said, I'm done.
The guy said, "You're done already?"
He said, "You wanna go up and check?"
The guy said "Oh, no. Thanks good job."
I signed up for a 4 month online design course at university. I'm working and paying it off, but I haven't studied a single word and its already the last month.
Not myself but my grandfather had a TV before remote controls were common place and you physically had to change channel on the set. He had a snooker cue with an extension attached so he didn't have to get up. I've been told that this laziness progressed in to turning light switches on and off
As a kid I raked yards. One time, I flung all the leaves from the backyard I was supposed to rake over the fence into the neighbor's backyards. I took the money they had left under the mat and never heard from them again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Washed clothes then left them in a heap until they were all used up and back in the wash pile again.
Then this same guy got a job at at gas station pumping gas. They ran out of regular one night but still had the high grade. Every customer that came by, he said "Sorry, we're all out of gas."
In my house a couple of years ago I had a PC set up as a media centre, and a separate Mac up in my bedroom. I installed Teamviewer on both of them so I could shut them down remotely if necessary. It got to the point when I discovered I needed a video file on my Mac upstairs, so I TeamViewered into it on my media centre, downloaded the file, and played it. All from the comfort of my own sofa.
Sometimes I don't eat for up to 12 hours because I don't feel like taking a break from video games and walking downstairs
Drrio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We didn't have any trash in the room and I was to lazy to go to the bathroom so I just put my underwear back on and told my girlfriend id throw it away later.
I woke up early - yawning I proceeded to scratch my balls but for some strange reason i couldn't get a proper grip... it was then I realized the error of my ways.
My two minute noodles stopped at the back of the microwave when they were finished. I put the microwave on for one more second so the bowl was rotated around and stopped at the front.
In college we had just bought a new rug and I kept the giant cardboard tube that came with it. Well my bed in the dorm room was lofted which involved climbing in and out to hit the light switch. I ended up using the cardboard tube to flick it without having to move in bed.
I made a improv fishing rod with one of those sticks you use to close roof windows with, a fishing hook and tape. I used it to get soda cans which were just out of reach from my office chair in my gaming room.
Bit late now but when I was staying in NYC, the YMCA I stayed at put me in a room that was at the opposite end of the floor to the bathroom... So, instead of walking my ass all the way to the toilet I pissed in a 42o tacobell cup and poured it out the window... Multiple times.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once ordered a pizza from bed. I then called my roomate and offered him a slice if he came into my room, grabbed my cash, paid for the pizza and bring it back to me. I used to be a huge stoner.
i won $3,000 in prize money for 3 short films. I never collected the money because I never sent in the necessary paper work. I even printed the paper work out, but never bothered to fill it out and mail it... $3,000. And I was broke at the time... fuck me.
anag0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called my brother, who lives down the street, to come over for something important...he rushed over..on the way in I asked him to grab me the remote on the love seat across the room. After he handed it to me he asked me "Whats wrong?!" I told him "your work is done here."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably too late for this, but once I ran out of plates/cutlery to eat with, so I used the box the food came in as a plate, and a particularly sharp chip (French fry) as a knife/fork combo. This ended up becoming a bit of a bad habit and I named the boxes I'd eat from "bachelor plates".
bfragged ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Put my laundry on the bed. Didn't feel like putting it away so I slept on my couch for 6 months...
One time I was at a friends house with another mate so there were 3 of us all up. We decided to order pizza online. Me and my mate were sitting no more than 1.5-2m from the person ordering but instead of getting up and moving to read what pizza we could order off the computer screen we used a programme called 'Team Viewer' so we could order our pizza with out having to move. (Team viewer is like skype screen sharing but you can control the other computer).
This is by far one of the laziest things I've ever done... I once called my house while I was laying in my bed to ask my grandmother to bring me a grill cheese sandwich, so I could eat it when I woke up several hours after...
Once in middle school i was wearing a cheap thin Nike wind breaker jacket when I got dropped off at the mall . It was raining so the jacket was soaked and basically was drenched so instead of carrying it through the mall for a few hours I just threw it away
There's a small end-table in my upstairs living room where I live with my girlfriend. We like cooking, and don't mind doing dishes, but fuck if we'll ever carry our dishes downstairs after we're done eating. We started to use the end-table as a "sink", only there's obviously no basin. Currently, there's 4 empty binto boxes, 6 plates, 3 bowls, 4 plastic drink cups filled with rotting tea, and 2 wine glasses that are covered in mold.
I'm not sure if this is technically lazy but it was done in the spirit of laziness; My tv is on a side wall in my bedroom and not very visable from the bed as it also doubles as a monitor, I spent a day transforming a spare monitor with audio passthrough into a tv by grabbing a HDMI cable, speakers and sawing and mounting a shelf on my wall so I didn't have to strain my neck in bed. Never used it.
Not bothering to fix my slightly cracked screen. Ended up cracking again, $300 down the drain.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once was crazy tired but really wanted something to drink. Instead of just getting out of bed and walking the hundred feet to the pub, I called one of my drinking buddies and had him buy me beer and bring it up to my flat. That was a good day.
dpbBryan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took a shower with my cloths on so I wouldn't have to wash them in the machine. I dried myself off with a hair drier and space heater afterwards.
One day, my stomach kept hurting off and on all day. By that night it was getting fairly intense. Near midnight, I messaged one of my friends: "Oh, I just realized why my stomach's been hurting all day. I'm hungry." He responded: "Dude, your the only person I know who could be stranded on an island made entirely of chocolate and still manage to starve to death."
But don't worry: I've gotten better! I now eat an average of 1.5 meals a day! (Of course, this is almost exclusively pizza and 3-minute microwave meals that I get as an afterthought.)
I sleep with my windows open, because i need fresh air. It was a cold night. I woke up, walked with my blanket to my pc, sat down, hands are freezing. I decided to call my mom so she knows i am awake and ask her to close the window and turn on the heater.
I sat down on the wrong bus once and after realizing that it was the wrong one, didn't get off for a few stations because I didn't want to stand up and find my way
cindles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sometimes i'm too lazy to flush the toilet if i've just peed. i'll do that a few more times until i'm not lazy or took a #2, then flush. i'm doing the world a solid by saving water!
I could see the film I wanted to watch sitting at the opposite side of the room, but I really couldn't be bothered to get up and get it. Quick google search showed that it was on netflix, so I signed up to netflix instead of getting up and getting it from the other side of the room.
I usually just keep my clothes in the dryer and run it for a few minutes to take the wrinkles out as opposed to hanging them. I also pay my sister to clean my apartment and do my dishes.
My friend was lying in bed listening to his CD player (it was a while ago) when a song came on that he didn't care for. His hand was resting on the CD player, and all he had to do to skip to the next track was move his finger an inch. He was so lazy, he just listened to the song.
While camping at a motor racing event, drove my mates car to the toilet instead of walking 100m
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lying down on my bed streaming a movie on my laptop next to me, but was too lazy to pay attention to a complex bit of story for a good 10 minutes.
Then I realised it was pointless to not know the story and keep watching, so I thought about skipping back a bit, but I couldn't be bothered to move my arm the 20 centemeters to the keyboard, so I carried on watching the whole movie.
I still don't get why Sully and Mike fall out in monsters university.
because while dicking around sully broke the dean's record scream canister. the dean was a dick an was like "sully your stupid, scary and don't know the basics. mike you know the basics but aren't fucking scary. both ya'll GTFO out of the scare program and learn how to make scare canisters" they blame each other then mike reads a flyer about the scare games and joins a frat, with the other "loser" monsters making the bet with the dean that if they win they all get back in the scare program and proving shes a bitch, they need a 5th so sully joins as well. skip to the last scare challenge the simulator against the other douchey frat, mike goes second to last and turns down the difficulty on the machine so when mike goes in the machine would go off and pay out like a coke machine with your hand up inside of it. they win, mike finds out what sully did, and hes not scary then mike acts like a dick and instead of just taking the win decides to prove himself and go through a door in one of the labs they made at the university everyone finds out, as alarms go off or something, and then sully goes in there even though the dean is like "don't fucking do it!" the dean deactivates the door so they are stuck in this cabin full of kids who think mike still isnt fucking scary. then they leave the cabin and run from police mike and sully bromance it out by a lake and go back and this time state troopers and forest rangers are there, they scare them and power the door from the other side, and get back home. the dean is like "THAT WAS TOTALLY WICKED! but i'm kicking you the fuck out, bye." then mike and sully get on a buss and get jobs at Monsters Inc. as janitors and work their way up to ultimate scary monster, proving collage was not only a waste of time, but also money.
the end.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:56 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At work I wheeled my chair over to the photocopier and sat while making copies only to have to wheel over to the other side on the room to bind them and wheeled over to the office manager and told her to ship em' out. I then wheeled myself back to my desk. What could have taken me less than 5 minutes took me about 15, because I got tired of wheeling myself around the office and took mini breaks along the way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After a long night of drinking, I drunkenly decided that I should make all my guests pasta. In the mix of all this I was handed a bottle of red stag, which I poured in the boiling water so the pasta would absorb it all which everyone said was great. I woke up the next morning with vomit everywhere, but I don't remember waking up to throw up (I guess that could have potentially been dangerous). After scanning over the mess I made, I convinced myself it wasn't so bad and went back to sleep in my vomit stained sheets and pillow for a few more hours. After my follow on nap, I was pretty disgusted with myself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've microwaved things for 1:11 because it was easier to just got the number one on the keypad repeatedly than to move my finger down to the zero.
z1ver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
About five years after finishing school, I had what was once a best friend hunt me down. He'd met a lady about two years before and they'd decided to tie the knot. He'd chased me down after all this time to be his best man - I guess friends were hard for him to come by after school. I was quite touched, to be honest.
Did the rehearsals, got given a list of people I should mention in the speech, helped with the general organising and whatnot.
The big day arrives, and I call him half an hour before I'm meant to be there and tell him I'm incredibly sick and give the whole nine yards - pissing blood, shakes, liquid from both ends etc.
Truth is I woke up and saw The Matrix Trilogy was playing, so decided I'd just stay in bed and punch bowls. He hasn't spoken to me since.
Lazy? You bet. But also saving this one for the next 'Describe the time when you were the biggest asshole'. Oh wait - I've got that other story to tell for that one...
Instead of hooking up my external hard drive, which is right on top of the computer case, and copying my music to my freshly reformatted desktop I downloaded uTorrent and found a torrent that had better quality. I played games while it was downloading.
I went to Taco Bell twice in one day. Lunch, then Dinner, because I couldn't be bothered to cook for myself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a game on Steam that I knew was upstairs somewhere, wasn't quite sure where - it was quicker to just buy and download on Steam.
mmossan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every single day I wake up and I am too lazy to get up and walk three steps to my computer. Instead, I lie in bed browsing facebook and reddit in my phone.
I didn't shower for like a week simply because I didn't need to go out of the house for anything. I was a teenager, I didn't have any friends, and it was summer vacation.
Trypts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid I spent 3 months wearing nothing but my swimsuit. Spend the day in the pool, get out for lunch and dinner, go to bed in wet swimsuit, wake up, go jump in the pool and consider that a bath.
I was laid up on the couch, with an absolutely horrific hangover after getting on the gas the night before and called for my 9yr old brother to get me a bottle of water and make me a cheese toastie.
Cheeky little shit wanted $30 to do it (which was all the money left in my wallet, he had already checked), and after me whinging at him for about 45 minutes I gave in and agreed to hand over the contents of my wallet
Most expensive cheese toastie ever.. and the kitchen was about 10 metres from the couch
Sometimes I'll be too lazy to bend, so I'll make my husband hand me my can of pop that's on the coffee table not even a foot away. There's a reason why so many people gain weight when they're married, it allows both of you to be super fucking lazy.
Came home drunk one night and while I was getting into bed instead of zipping down my hoody like a normal person I just ripped it apart and broke the zip, hated my laziness the next morning.
Probably not the laziest I have ever done, but still pretty lazy.
I have left my laptop on the floor by the bed so that when I wake up in the morning I could just roll over, pick it up, turn it on, and use while still under my covers. And kept snacks on the desk next to my bed so that when my stomach growled, I had something to eat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was reclining and my keyboard was on my lap. I used the on screen keyboard because I didn't want to bend over to use the keyboard
Woke up, realized i don't have any plans for today or tomorrow, slept for 24hr with waking up about 2 times to just fall back asleep. And then 1 time woken up by parents thinking I was really sick or dead.
I Just didn't feel like doing anything, so i slept to make up for the lack of sleep school causes me to have.
I was too lazy to get a paper out of the printer tray, so I just printed out a blank paper instead so I could grab it from the top of the printer instead of the bottom. My friend thought I was retarded, I'm not sure if he is wrong.
I once had some cold baked beans with crisps for lunch, because they were in arms reach and the kitchen was all the way downstairs. Used the beans like a dip, it sorta worked!
Gazho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yell at one of my kids to come down stairs to get me the tv remote, which was across the room, so I could change the channel. Could have asked her to stand there and channel surf for me but I do have some pride.
The other day I was about to eat dinner. Grabbed a knife and fork out of the drawer. Walked four steps across the kitchen to get my plate, realized I grabbed a knife and spoon. Went with it. Turns out spoons do not make good forks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went back to sleep instead of getting up to hand in my essay before the 3pm deadline. Failed the year as a result.
jnymlr53 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Finally managed to do my laundry, and when I got back to my apartment I dumped it all on my bed. Too lazy to fold it, I slept on the floor until the pile was small enough to sleep on, which turned out to be about two weeks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One day I was sick and lying on the floor close to my TV because I didn't have a remote to change the channels. When I mustered up the strength, I started flipping through the channels to land me on 'Input' so I could play my Gamecube. I got to Channel 2, and my hand slipped and the TV was out of reach. Instead of getting back up and changing the channel one more down, I watched 6 and a half hours of Everybody Loves Raymond (It was horrible, and a marathon) until my brother came home to change the channel for me.
Uberico ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
every time i am at lunch or dinner and my fingers are greasy/dirty from food but the napkins are >2feet away, i just lift my pant legs up and use my socks to clean my fingers.
when not wearing socks, i use the inside of my shorts or shirt as the napkin.
Had to type an assignment on my pc, but I let my hands drop down to my knees and just didn't bother bringing them up to the table again so I kinda just sat through the whole class doing nothing.
I ordered a pizza for delivery. I could see the pizza place from my 3rd floor window. (approx. 1 block) It was cold so just allowed myself to make someone else cold. It still took 25 minutes.
mrkruler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This one time I really had to clean up my room, I had my friends with OCD come over and they cleaned it for me.
Except they moved my shit, wasn't cool.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
it is physically impossible to do nothing. Even when you are dead you are still doing something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:32 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:35 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
YOUR body is YOU. Everything that makes up who you are is in your body. So even when you are dead you are still doing something because your body is doing something. Decomposition is the act of decomposing, which is what you are doing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:00 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:12 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Those electrical impulses have to travel through paths called neural pathway, which are created and strengthened with each and every experience you have. These pathways are what make up your consciousness. Therefore you are your neural pathways. This can be proven by changing the neural architecture of the brain and in doing so changing the personality of the person. So when you die the electrical impulses may stop but the neural pathways still exist. At this point they will start to decompose. The electrical impulses are the messengers between neuron and the way that the travel through your neural pathway determines who you are.
When I was in college, I bought a pack of pens and stuffed them down between the cushions of my couch and all my chairs, so that whenever I needed a pen, I wouldn't have to get up.
Dooder39 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted to comment on /r/AskReddit , but I was to lazy to finish the comme-
sallypro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
saw that the mailbox was full of stuff, opened it and took it all out, saw nothing of importance so i stuffed everything back because i was too lazy to bring it with me to my apartment (i do this every day until i get something other than ads etc)
Was playing catch with a friend and my dad said not to play in the street, but my friend eventually threw too far and I had to grab the ball from the street anyway. I walk over and pick up the ball but was too lazy to switch to my dominant hand so I threw it with my left and it went right through our neighbor's SUV window.
djc2067 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I fell out of bed, too lazy to get back into said bed so I slept on the floor. Surprisingly comfortable said my chiropractor.
We watched despicable me the other day in spanish because searching the remote sucks
Had3s- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I needed to pull some food out of the oven and I couldn't be bothered with getting a hand towel to get the food out, So I used a sock carefully not to burn my fingers to pull it out.
When I was a kid I had a dart gun that shot suction cup darts. I liked to lie in bed and fire it at the opposite wall, watching the darts stick. But that meant I had to get up to retrieve them.
The solution? Tie a strong thread to them. Then I could yank them back and fire them again without getting up. :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was that time Freshman year of college that I lost 15 lbs because I lived on the 7th floor of my dorm and was too lazy to walk to the elevator, then across the parking lot to buy snacks.
Sad but true: After I got back from studying abroad in Germany this summer, my mom decided that I was "mature enough" to start doing my own laundry (I'm 20). As you can imagine, I had a shit load of laundry after coming back from my trip. I managed to calculate how long it would take until all of my clothes were dirty, taking into account combinations of certain shirts and pants that (kind of) matched. What I didn't take into account was underwear, however for some reason I have weeks worth of undies stockpiled in my room in case of an underwear apocalypse or some shit, I don't know. Anyways, after all of my underwear ran out, instead of washing my clothes like a normal human being, I decided to steal my dad's underwear (Mostly the cheap ones that he never wore, but occasionally the nice silky Calvin Cline pairs. My penis has never felt such comfort). This continued for about a week or two because apparently my dad also stockpiles shit loads of undies. My dad finally realized that his underwear drawer(s) was depleting rather quickly, so he came into my room, saw my monster pile of laundry (that I swore had something growing in it), and then made fun of me. Everything went better than expected, except the fact that I could have lasted another few days.
Long story short: I went a good 2 months without doing laundry while maintaining maximum cleanliness.
I haven't tried besting my record since. Also, my mommy thinks I am a big boy now.
Soakz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a left handed person I learned how to play the drums right handed so I don't have to switch kits around when sharing a backline at gigs or in rehearsal studios.
I sometimes sit down while having a shower. Please tell me I am not the only one!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard about this .. apparently it's something some people do. Doesn't excuse it though. Very strange. Having said that, I will try it and report back.
Too lazy to fill out fafsa papers I just tell me sister to do it for me cause I don't know how. I used to use this for everything, setting up doctors appointments, cooking some foods, driving to some places, shipping stuff, homework, buying clothes. To lazy to think ATM.
I have a really hard physical job i basically stack 50-70 pound boxes all day, anyways one day were told were getting a new guy(we needed one really bad only 4 people on the line) supposedly hes coming from wild land fire fighting "Hotshots" is what there called its a very dangerous and physically and mentally challenging job , so thinking hes going to be a bad ass and be able to keep up with us were happy. Well he shows up and he kinda just stays in the front and passes us boxes all day instead of picking them up lol the irony makes laugh pretty hard but its pretty sad because my back also hurts from doing his work lol fml
I take 2 busses to get home and on most days walk 300 feet up a hill to get to my apartment. Except on special days when I will actually get on a third bus which delivers me straight to my apartment.
Whenever people ask for a piece of gum, I give them the whole pack. This would be a problem but I have a lifetime supply of the stuff.
shiftend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once ordered a 3.5mm jack splitter from DealExtreme (with free shipping all the way from China) because I was too lazy to go to the store (10 minutes by bike, 5 by car).
El-Daddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was sitting at my computer and really wanted to play Tiberian Sun.
The game disc was on the other side of the room on a shelf, but I didn't want to get up, so I downloaded the whole thing instead.
I streamed a movie online because I could not be bothered to get out of bed and walk 6ft across my room to pick up the DVD.
Huko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought a water cooler to put beside me so I didn't have to get up and refill my water
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called my dad who was in the kitchen from the couch in my basement to ask him when dinner was ready.
vkreso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hooked up my laptop to the TV on the wall so I could watch a movie on it out of my bed. After I watched it, i wanted to google something (can't really remember what) but the keyboard was away from me and I forgot how to activate the disability keyboard on the desktop. So what to do, I opened one of the bookmarked tabs and copied letters i needed to the search bar... and downloaded another movie.
harryson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once watched through an entire show I didn't like because the remote was too far away.
I use a fishing pole to turn my computer on and off from bed.
senikai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
put a plate in the mircowave to dry it so i can play more xbox.
chokin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was lying on the couch so I sent a Whatsapp message to all my friends asking someone to email me the word "Wikipedia", so I could copy and paste it into the search bar.
My keyboard was almost 8 feet away.
I then jumped from link to link to find what I needed.
Camavan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was this one time where I did nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Shawer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a really long, well thought out story with a wacky punchline to post on this thread but that's gonna take way too much time.
EBeast99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a fairly large dog that likes to take LONG walks and usually chased squirrels which ends up with me eating dirt or concrete. My solution? Strap a pillow to my skateboard, hold onto the leash, and let her chase squirrels to her hearts content.
One Nerf gun. One Nerf bullet. One lazy ass, I sewed some string around and through the Nerf bullet, wrapped the other end to a metal rod with a non at the end which i mounted onto the Nerf gun. Now i can sit in my chair, fire a Nerf dart, real it in, and do it again without getting up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The irony of this question being posted on reddit is just INSANE.
We eat pizza nearly every day because they bring it to our house. It's gotten so bad that neither one of us wants to put on pants to answer the door so I've started to offer my husband a tip to be the one who has to answer the door and bring the pizza the rest of the way to me. It's all good. Now I'm paying for the pizza, the delivery fee, and a tip for the driver AND for my husband. But it's so worth not having to get off the couch or put pants on.
Also, I basically buy everything on Amazon. Why leave the house when they bring it to me? I'm just waiting for something other than pizza to deliver in my neighborhood.
1) open packet
2) pour in water
3) complete spoon to mouth ritual
No cleanup, no waiting
kmj442 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college my roommate and I had a nice setup in our dorm. We had a decent TV with surround sound and such. One day when we were sitting on our couch we realized the remote was on one of our desks. Instead of getting up to get it, we yelled to our next door neighbor to get it for us...
His response was to take the batteries out, throw them down the hall and hand us the remote. Probably and acceptable response.
I didn't feel like writing the password on my computer to unlock it and watch a TV show on my hdd. I spent 15 minutes to find a streaming link and watched it on my phone.
this is late, but one time i called my friend to grab me some toilet paper while in the bathroom. the toilet paper was stored three feet from the bathroom.
This is going to get buried, but I've sat a bottle of pop on my night stand with a hole in the bottom/side so when I laid down there would be a stream going into my mouth.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Using my foot as a TV remote
OCogS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spent a heap of money on Philips Hue, but use them as regular light bulbs because I'm too lazy to set them up.
One time I didn't feel like cooking breakfast but was really hungry so I made microwaved eggs and a side of bacon flavored dog treats "beggin' strips."
tamerfa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a 10 inch display tablet, but everyday when I'm back home I'm too lazy to walk to the other room to check facebook with it, instead I take my 4 inch smartphone out of my pocket and use it. The best part that I finally decided after 2 years to sell the tablet because I don't really use it, but I'm too lazy to put an ad on ebay.
Last night I paid my roommate to bring my clothes from the dryer downstairs to me upstairs.
v1k1rox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend and I taught our dogs to pee on the balcony so we would not have to walk it in the morning. These are shih tzus so they need minimal exercise.
dougbdl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so lazy, I could barely find the energy to read the answers to this question yet again.
h0rty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm talking to someone and my phones predictive text changes a word I will not go back and change it. I even called someone a hoe and sent It just to avoid re typing it...
Woke up too early and had to piss. Ended up rolling onto my side and pissing out the window. Didn't even shake it after.
1dly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reading these aloud when SO tells me she has a storiy she could tell.
I'm like sweet sweet karma yisss! ...
To lazy to tell the story.
balamory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a bunk bed as a kid the light was an arm swing away well, no one would turn off the light switch so.. I hit it off... Glass everywhere! It wasnt your average bulb had a big glass case around it, almost broke my wrist.
gransom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rather than repeatedly find the TIVO remote [which the kids were surprisingly successfully at hiding], I wrote a computer program to control the TIVO from my laptop.
didnt feel like doing a task over and over at work so i wrote a script to do it for me
toojer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sick of doing little things like getting the remote, throwing things away, and turning on/off the lights. I decided to have a kid so I can make them do it. 3 years later and it's starting to pay off.
Well.. I'm more embarrassed about this one but when I was a child and had to pee, I would open the front door and take a piss OPPOSITE to my neighbours door. I have 3 toilets in my house. This went in for 1 year.
fangasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This was pretty recent for me. My PS3 controller had fallen on the ground out of my reach and Netflix was prompting me to see if I was still watching. Instead of getting up and getting it I coaxed my cat into bringing me her Millenium Falcon flyer toy that she loves. I fixed it into a lasso and pulled the controller in.
It took much more time an effort to do all this than it would have if I had just stood up and got the damn controller... but it did feel pretty damn spiffy using a cat toy like that.
kahi1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No too long ago, i was so tired i didn't want to turn off the lights... fortunately i had my hardball pistol right at my nightstand, so i take it, aims, and misses 4 times.. I got 4 bullets back and i am not prepared to get up for more OR turn of the lights.. My lamp is made out of paper wrapped around a metal carcass, so i take one last aim.. use all four bullets and shoots the light bulb glass everywhere but lights off and I could sleep in deep comfort. and shards of glass.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
every toilet visit i make a plan, what i can do on the way there and what when coming back. The bathroom is just across the big carpet, but there a still many things you can do: get new candies, get the remote, get power cable, stuff like this...
allski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on the couch with the remote on the coffee table. Was to lazy to sit up and grab it so I screamed to my brother as if to indicate there was something very wrong so he came running out to me. I asked him to grab the remote and change the channel to which is just turned around and left. I proceeded to watch an infomercial for the next hour until I took a nap.
Expatio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't plugged in my laptop at work for nine hours because I'd have to reach down and pick up the end that isn't already plugged into the wall.
ay2014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sleep! :D
P150 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I had to go to the bathroom and instead of getting out of bed and going I literally pointed my dick to the side and pissed down the gap between my bed and the wall.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was on the toilet, and I forgot to bring the paper upstairs with me. I shouted my brother to ask him to bring it up, but he couldn't be bothered. So he got a big wad of it, stuffed it in his collar and told me to call the dog.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A girlfriend and I lived for a few years at 44th and Pennsylvania in Kansas City. That address is four blocks south of Westport, a bar/entertainment/shopping district, and three blocks north of the Plaza, a shopping/restaurant/entertainment district.
I couldn't tell you how many times we went out for an evening at one area or the other and took a cab home, even though it was a five minute walk. Especially from the Plaza, as it was uphill from there. One driver started calling us "two minute".
Late, but I have a friend who will call his mom's cell phone to tell her to bring him food while he played xbox......she was downstairs, in the same house
Couldn't be bothered to get out of bed when my cat started chewing a cardboard box, so I threw my pillow at it to shoo it away. Then my other three pillows. Then my duvet. It still didn't stop. I still couldn't be bothered to crawl out of bed at that point, so I took my pyjamas off and threw them. Sadly, I eventually had to get up when the cat took no notice, and I realised I'd ended up just lying naked on a mattress.
More examples:
Used to keep a stick next to my bed to attempt to turn off the light at night. It never worked.
Eaten out of pans to save washing.
When literally all of my dishes were stacked in the sink, eaten out of a measuring jug/muffin pan/giant mixing bowl, with a ladle.
Eaten in bed to save getting up.
Gave up on showering and lived in my pyjamas for days.
Ordered takeaway at 6pm because I was too lazy to leave the house, even though the grocery store is literally just across the road.
I was lying on bed and there was a small table a little distance away from me - I could easily have stretched and pulled the table closer. Instead, I take out my phone. Give a missed call - not even wasting money on a call - to my servant. He comes and I ask him to move the table closer to me.
I hate washing dishes, so I use the same bowl for every meal without washing it for weeks. I figure if it was clean enough to eat 6 hours ago it's still good enough.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One afternoon in college, I dumped all of my freshly-dried laundry on my bed so that I'd be forced to do it before I went to sleep. When bed time came, I just burrowed under the pile of clothes and called it a night.
Made chili in a pressure cooker we just bought. Bottom inside was "icky" with molten chili burnt on afterwards. I soaked in soapy water for 4 days (I checked after 2 days and it was still "icky"). Day 5 - pressure cooker placed into trash.
took a piss in a waterbottle before sleeping because I was too lazy to go to the toilet which was like 6 feet away, I then proceeded to throw the piss filled water bottle outside my open window.
tobitob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
once i was on a field trip in the mountains where we were supposed to study rocks. We had stopped to take note and i had found this really confy rock formation that i was half siting-half laying on, and i dropped my pen.
I really didn't feel like getting up but i couldn't reach it, so i took my walking stick and pushed my pencil over to a teacher in front of us, then asked him if he could pick it up. He didn't see i pushed the pen, but my friend did and we just looked at each other and smiled.
Once i had a leg-injury. So i became this elevator-key to reach class in time. I used it for about five months. The duration of my leg injury was about 3 weeks.
Instead of driving to the starbucks thats 3 minutes away, I drive to the one thats 15 because its drive-thru
skarni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whilst laying in bed I remote desktoped from my tablet to computer in order to play a TV show instead of getting up to use the computer which was maybe a meter away.
I torrented every Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings movie, just because I was too lazy to walk down a flight of stairs to get them from my living room.
Way late to this but oh well.. I have a few but the worst ones were probably if i lean back on my computer chair and get comfy i use one foot to work the mouse and the toes on the other to type instead of just sitting up. I've done this so much I can actually do it fairly quickly and have even played a couple games like it.
The next two are both (UK) college related. I had to walk about 2 miles to get to college everyday and there's a kind of steep hill about half way there. One time I was walking in the winter and the hill was a bit icy. I could see other students struggling to get up so i just turned around and went home.
The second thing was I had History on the 3rd floor. Multiple times i was so lazy that instead of walking up the stairs to get there, i'd either sit in the cafeteria and wait for my friend to finish his class and get a lift home or i'd actually walk 2 miles home just to avoid going up stairs.
I was not a good student. I did not do well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cut my hair because I didn't want to wash it (it was down to my elbows.)
Regretted it ever since... luckily it's growing back now, and I'm not a lazy fuck.
Was using an electric circular whilst remodeling my bathroom whilst standing 2 feet up on a step ladder...
Realized I forgot my safety glasses at the bottom of the ladder. Too lazy to walk down two steps.
Accidentally cut into a rusty old nail, felt burning fire poke of hell in my right eye. Ended up in emergency room with eye surgery to remove rusty nail piece.
Bonus got to lay down and watch my beloved Green Bay Packers from the ER bed as I waited for the eye surgeon to arrive...with my one good eye.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sat on my ass for the last 5 years doing absolutely nothing except playing videogames and going out at the weekends and getting drunk while seeing various DJ's. Probably leaving the house an average of 2 times a week over that period.. maybe slightly increased by holidays and trips i've taken with my friends. Often times I won't even leave the house for 2 weeks in a row.
Yeah.. I'd say that's probably the laziest thing i've done.
I dunno if this counts as lazy to most, but I consider it to be.
Brushed my teeth while pissing, then while still brushing flushed the toilet with my feet, other hand while still brushing, pulled up my pants and buckled my belt. Mind you i do this all very sluggishly almost every morning.
I eat breakfast cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner some days because I'm too lazy to prepare food, cook it, wash plates and all the other things associated with preparing food and meals.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did 30 minutes of cardio on an elliptical machine in sweatpants, a hoodie, and fuzzy slippers because I didn't feel like changing.
Dcm210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
laid in bed until is was time to get up for work. I had work at 4pm
Way late but whatever. Whenever I am in the car for a while, whether it be a long distance drive or general participation in traffic, I tend to ALWAYS drop shit on the floor in front of the passenger seat. Rather than pull over to get it I will violently change lanes or take a right hand exit at blazing speeds just so whatever it is will roll back to me. It is lazy and incredibly dangerous. I have had success.
Joxxill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
L1FTED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed in plastic bottles to save me from walking 10 steps to my bathroom. Dump laundry on bed sleep on top of laundry for 2 weeks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Put my lunch in tupperware. Take it back home. Put it in the dishes with the top still on, no soaking here seรฑor. Haven't done the dishes in a few days. Throw Tupperware away. The money I've wasted.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
taking the bike for 200m to the supermarket
Tulabean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit.
dasfeiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad told me to vacuum the carpets downstairs. I took the vacuum, that wasn't plugged in, and rolled it over one part of the carpet to leave the vacuum stripes in it.
This one time I bought my roommate Joey and I a new set of reclining chairs and a sweet TV set to make up for me kissing his girlfriend (long story). Anyways we did not get up from the reclining chairs for what felt like a week. We would order delivery, but to be able to stay in the chairs we would send it to our neighbors Monica and Rachel's so that THEY would have to bring it right to us, ha classic lazy JJ and Chan Chan.
It didn't happen to me, but when i was in grade 8 i found out one of my friends was too lazy to get up and go poop so he just shat his pants and continued laying in his own filth
Urinated in the cat litter box because it was closer.
Scrial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was watching a playlist of youtube videos while having terrible internet. It required me to manually pause the video for about a minute before each 10 min video.
Now, since I was watching from my bed and would have had to get up every time to do this, I ended up building a device out of Lego, a heavy steel ball and a length of cord, so I could press the space bar with a pull on said cord.
My university has a policy that skipping a class will result in losing 3% from you final grade. In order to not be marked as truant, even when sick, you must email the school that you will be absent, go to the nearby medical practice to get a note confirming illness or "illness" (should you actually just want to skip) and later fill out an online absence survey. I had tonsillitis for a week so missed all of my classes once. I would rather have a slight grade drop than go through all of that effort.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not properly posting in this thread despite having as many as 5 good stories to tell
lips3341 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if lazy or preplanning. Apartment needed repainting and lamdlord said we could paint it whatever we wanted - jist go get paint thats already paid for. We took drywall filling compound, spread it on a piece of cardboard to let it dry and then color matched to that. The place looked like we didnt even touch a wall when we left.
Factor86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rescheduled jury duty the maximum three times, then didn't appear.
Called and requested a medical extension.
Never filled out th
Ah fuck. It.
jannikn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't eat for 15 hours. I was too lazy
autumnx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I came down with mononucleosis after prom when I was 16 and became the laziest girl in the history of the world. I got a really bad case of it. Our living room couch had an imprint of my body, basically. Since my parents both worked full time, I was home alone mostly. I would find little ways to get things. I'd spray the remote with Pam so that my dogs would always take it and when they'd come by I'd grab it, clean it off, use it, repeat the process. I would hide snacks in the couch cushions just in case I ran out so I wouldn't starve to death. I'd keep deodorant there along with those mini toothbrushes, Luden's throat drops, socks, a hair brush, my phone, my laptop, all chargers, headphones, and tons of bottled water. It was my own little hut.
I was sitting on the couch and spilt a whole pint glass full of water over myself, instead of getting up to deal with it I just went to sleep until I was dry. Woke up a few times, was still wet, went back to sleep
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not really lazy but I did not want to search the disk for CoD4 for my pc so I downloaded it. I had the serial saved somewhere on my pc so I could play online without any problems.
Writing for my roommate (because he is too lazy)! He actually moved his mini fridge and computer right up to his bed so he could eat In bed and use the computer all day. When sitting up for the keyboard was too much, he ordered a wireless keyboard and mouse to make things easier and lay down.
He never did get a bed pan, so he occasionally got up to use the bathroom although I always wonder why he saved a few empty bottles..
Un0va ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a binder with a bunch of folders into it, like more than I needed. I didn't want to put the tabs in so I just shoved papers in at random. Now I have like 2 or 3 unmarked folders for each subject.
kombox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was sitting in my basement and I realized it was cold and I was not wearing any socks, so i grabbed my cellphone and called my house so I could ask my brother who was in the living room to go upstairs and get me some socks.
Not me, but one of my friend's old roommates had been putting off cleaning the dishes for a long time. It finally got to the point where every dish in the house was piled high in the sink. His solution? He just threw them all away and bought new ones.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to push my trashcan with my car, so that I wouldn't have to get out of the car. Unfortunately, the trash can held its ground and ended up wedged under my car. The front tires weren't touching the ground. I was shocked and awed by the plastic trash can's ability to hold up the heavy end of a 1997 Ford Crown Victoria.
Fell asleep in high school economics class, woke up with a piece of paper stuck to the side of my face and left it there for the duration of the class.
This is a story of all-around Lazyness. As many of you probably do, I would often wash and dry my clothes, dump them out on my bed and not fold or put them away for quite a while.
Well, one day my roomate hid in my pile of clothes on my bed-his plan was to scare me when I came in. He was perfectly hidden so I didn't see him. I sat down at my bedroom desk and started watching a movie on my computer. APparently my roomate became interested in the movie and watched it with me(still hidden in my pile of clothes, mind you).
The other thing about my roomate is he can't watch a movie without falling asleep 85% of the time, so he totally passed out and took a nice nap in my laundry. After the movie I left and did something else I think. He never ended up scaring me. SO yeah. I'd write a more interesting ending but I'm pretty lazy right now.
skypry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought new clothes because I didn't feel like doing laundry.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've laid in bed drawing out a pulley system that I knew I would never make that was designed to make it so that I could do everything I needed in my bedroom from my bed. Because I didn't want to get up and close my own door.
Went to the store and bought new underwear because I didn't want to do laundry.
waffles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday I was making food and had Netflix on. The show ended and I downloaded the remote app instead of walking over to the remote.
I mean, shit, I was already standing and moving around the kitchen. But I can't take 5 steps to the remote?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Never did a dish for two years. Dirty dishes went into a ten gallon bucket under the kitchen table. When the bucket was full it went in the garbage. When there were no more dishes we ate off cardboard box pieces.
I've went pee in a bottle or cup instead of putting on clothes and walking to the washroom.
Slept with the lights on, too lazy to get up to turn them off.
I was in bed and had to pee really really badly, fell asleep and held it till morning.
I got married because I was to lazy to break up with my girlfriend.
I'm too lazy to carry my entire basket of clean clothes upstairs from the basement, so every morning I'll walk down 2 flights of stairs then back up, while still leaving the basket there. That's so dumb, takes more effort.
There's more, but I'm to lazy to type them.
hbhutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I drop a pen at work, instead of bending over and picking it up, I grab a new pen out of a drawer.
Texted my husband to ask for something to drink rather than get out of the bathtub and get it myself.
Ruckus55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In order for my roommate to stop playing his shirt Music and snoozing his wall alarm clock (without battery back up) for two hours.....
I shut down power to my entire dorm building. Took them 3 hours to figure out what happened. Thank you kind janitor for explaining how the forms electrical system worked.
nartchie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.
JewSmurf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Squeezing a chocolate Snack Pack into my mouth with one hand while directing a stream of urine with the other. I was in the bathroom, by the way.
I watched cartoon network for close to a year because I couldn't find my remote.
Irie267 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, my parents bought me a bunch of new dishes and silverware to eat with. After like 6 months of never washing them after use, the accumulation of filth became too much to bear. I put them in a cardboard box and threw it on the lawn and one day, the box just disappeared.
Almost daily, I'll start typing a comment, only to realize there's a typo in the beginning. Rather than go back and fix it, I just hit cancel and move on
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The remote was on the arm rest next to me and I didn't want to move my arm. Dr. Oz it is.
Kilmoore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was hanging out at a friend's house and my friend asked me to leave because she had to go somewhere with her family. My response, "Trust me I really want to leave but I'm just way too lazy to get up and walk to the door."
Every morning I make coffee, but I never change the filter until it is completely overflowing. I just keep dumping fresh grounds on top of the old wet grounds from yesterday.
WentoX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back when i was still living with my parents i would be to lazy to bring my laundry down to our own laundry room, my solution? Blast dubstep on my soundsystem, Mom comes running up the stairs, furious because the wall paintings are just barely holding on downstairs. And just before she leaves:
-"so, if you're going downstairs anyway, could you take my laundry with you?"
I don't think she ever caught on that this was my intention because she kept falling for it.
Turn on TV to look for something to watch. I end up distracted and end up leaving remote out of reach. I end up watching whatever crap is on the channel the TV was last on instead of simply getting up and getting the remote.
dukfuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Nisas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do my laundry, put the laundry in my hamper, carry it back to my room, leave the clean clothes in the hamper, pull clean clothes out of it when I want to change, and throw dirty clothes on the floor.
One time, me and some friends were all really high and watching family guy on a laptop.
After a while, the video started freezing for a split second every minute or so, but we couldn't be bothered to get up and fix it so stayed sitting/lying/generally slothing.
Then a dialogue box popped up blocking the middle of the screen. We still did nothing.
Then an entire window popped up in front of the video.
My couch is within reaching distance of my front door. I have ordered numerous a take-out food because I didn't feel like walking to the kitchen.
My favorite that I've personally seen: A person in Walmart walking out the exit doors, stop half way through when they realize the doors are manual, only to turnaround and walk back through the automatic doors.
SJaggz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm posting this on behalf of a friend, he was to lazy to post something
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We have this cool rule in college, where if you fail the class tests you can submit the assignment for the same which will like writing it two times or so. I didn't study, failed and then I was instructed to write it twice, I revolted, then it was made to once.
Went home, felt even more bored to look for answers and write it. Didn't turn up to college the next day. Called the people who had to write the impositions, and asked them to give the assignment to me after they got it back from the teacher. Next day, printed the first page with my name and stapled someone else's assignment and submitted it.
Fonkar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
don't smoke anymore, but used to call the taxi service and ask them to bring beer and cigs. The driver would bring the recepit for u to see exactly how much they were.
When my hair gets really greasy to the point most people would take a shower, I've been just rubbing my head with a towel before class so that it looks a bit less greasy. It still looks greasy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was playing video games on my bed, my mom entered the room, talked to me and left the door open and went on her business in another instance of the house. I called the nearest phone(home phone) of her and asked her to come and close the door of my room. God, I was such an asshole.
In college, our smoke alarm went off at like 6am. Somehow all 4 of us in the apartment were so lazy, we refused to get out of bed and each slept through it. That morning we had found a surge protect had gone bad and caught on fire.
This may not be on the same caliber as some of the other ones here, but I have now grown a full beard and mustache, but not because I wanted to. It was 100% because I'm too lazy to shave. Good thing I like it now though, worked out well for me I suppose.
Timcave5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My light switch. One day I was sitting on my couch, lounging in the nude, with my snacks and wanted to turn off the light because of the glare from the sun. I proceeded to throw 2 entire bags of pretzel rods, the big thick ones, at the light switch and, miraculously, it turned off. Then I masturbated. Since I was too lazy to find any tissues I just spewed onto my carpet. Then I took a nap.
swawif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put a spare cloth in my car because I'm going to somewhere hot
2 weeks later, it's still there
mil1ion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last week I was doing some work in my bedroom and really had to pee, but too lazy to walk across the hall to the bathroom. Peed in my fish tank. They all died the next week.
Setting up a laptop at work on my desk - instead of turning my head and arms slightly to the left to use it, I installed VNC so I could just use my normal machine.
SuperGL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use my phone to google, while I'm still sitting in front of my PC with google webpage already loaded up.
fcisler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every day at work we had to send out two statistics, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. When a co worker was out it fell back to me.
Wrote a program to email it out.
A couple years afterwards we changed our email server. I couldn't find the source code for the program. Re-write it? Sure.
Except we have VoIP now. And phones that can display a basic XML webpage.
Those statistics are now updated every 5 minutes and available on the phone at any time of the day.
I put on a dress shirt and then noticed a big crease down the front of it, so I stuffed a magazine down the front and ironed the shirt whilst wearing it.
It actually worked pretty well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered food from Amazon because I didn't want to go to the store.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ordered $40 worth of Pizza Hut and waited 40 minutes just so I could get an ice cream without walking to the shop, which is on the ground floor of my building.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I stayed up all night last night to study for a calc test. Just reread the syllabus and found out we can drop our lowest test grade. I grabbed a beer, got back in bed, opened Reddit and saw this. I now feel fully supported in my laziness. Thank you Reddit, happy Tuesday!
In college, sometimes I will call my housemate on the other room and pretend that, as if I need some help on some stuff ... And when they are going to leave the room, I'll ask them to close the light and the door in my room because I need to sleep.
Alecre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sink full of dishes? No problem, threw them out and bought a new set.
A1A5KA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought an Xbox One and haven't touched a TV or cable box controller since.
aresef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dream come true, I know, right?
But it's so much work to talk. If only the Kinect understood grunts.
A1A5KA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
True. I did also find myself a little pissed off this morning when I woke up, grabbed my phone next to the bed, fired up the smart glass app and then realized I couldn't turn on my xbox and start battlefiled in the livingroom without either hollering across the house or actually getting my ass out if bed. I was disappointed with my own lazy as I would have had to get up to play anyways. Its ok. I'm writing the suggestion to Microsoft at work today.
aresef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"UGGGH UNGGH GAAAHH"
"A1A5KA is now signed in"
navynutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.
razl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sometimes......ok lots of times.........ok all the time.... i use a 2 day old dish even if its manky just poor cereal / cofee in on top of the mank and im good to gooo........you may call it lazy but i call it efficient
razl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So I am legally blind in my left eye and my right is not too far from it either. This affects my school work and while I should normally just bring my glasses to school, I do not. This is because usually when I get home I go upstairs to my room and forget my glasses in my bag, and I am too lazy to walk back down to get them. So I end up not bringing them to school and suffer all day.
andoink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've mentioned this before, but it's what I always refer to as one of the laziest things I've seen someone do.
Back in vanilla WoW, for some reason or another, a friend of mine owed me a total of 18 gold. Upon requesting him to pay up one day, he opened a trade window with me and entered 15 gold into the trade box. I mentioned over voice chat that he actually owed me 18 gold and he tells me to go ahead and accept it - so I do. Then he re-opens another trade window with me for the remaining 3 gold. I had to ask why...
In a university tech course, I had an assignment where I had to (learn) to code an HTML web page. Basic bullshit, but it seemed tedious.
So I made a thread on a coding forum, explaining that I had dysedic dyslexia, and was having an incredibly hard time with the assignment. I lightly hinted that my professor was an asshole, and didn't take my disability into consideration.
I outlined each part of the requirements (in moderately dyslexic-esque writing, at the end I wrote "thanks very wuch!"). I made sure that someone could just code it chunk by chunk, and I could copy and paste that shit and hand it in.
So, after a few hours of Counterstrike 1.6 (this was mid 2000's) some guy had it ready and waiting. Shit yea.
Sigma207 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TODAY I have two finals do. One is a 7 page essay on conflict theory, functionalism, and interactionism for sociology. The other essay is a preswasive essay that is only about 4 pages. I did them both last night.
Was supposed to go over a friends house last week to just hang out and watch movies. I called to cancel with a lame excuse because I was too lazy to go out and be lazy with another person.
I once did my laundry on sunday and didn't put away the clothes after from the hamper until it was the next sunday. I just straight up wore clothes from the hamper and tossed my dirty clothes to the side of the hamper until it was empty and then i refilled it with the dirty clothes on the side for the next wash.
I often end up sleeping on the couch because I can't be bothered to get up and go to the bedroom. I always have blankets and pillows with me and it's pretty comfortable so I don't think it's that bad
I was watching a baseball game and eating sunflower seeds at my parents house a few years ago. I have no idea why I decided to do this but I was just spitting the seeds out on floor instead of into a cup like I usually do. My brother saw it and promptly asked me why the fuck I was doing that and I just shrugged and told him I was just going to vacuum it up.
Fast forward to my mom coming home, losing her shit, and forcing me to clean it up.
Fast forward to me breaking the fucking vacuum trying to vacuum it up.
NateWna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back when all my friends and I did was play video games, we always had a few two liters of soda to drink out of while we played for hours on end. I went to the pet store and bought some of that clear tubing for fish tanks, then I ran it from my two liter up to my mouth that way I didn't have to stop playing and pick up the soda to get a drink.
Ladbon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stopped buying forgot buying toothpaste for a month. Shopped maybe ten times that months and my market is 5 minutes walking distance
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
wilma1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When my sister comes home to visit she sleeps in the same bedroom as me. Her phone alarm goes off and she refuses to turn it off so I just grab my phone that's next to me and call it to shut the alarm off instead of getting up to turn it off.
Tler126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once worked in a warehouse. My job consisted of waiting around for materials to be delivered, sign for them, and stick them in a big box to be trucked away. I could have done it all while sitting if I didn't have to carry the stuff to the box. So I built a "mobile logistics platform" It was a chair, desk and foot rest on a pallet, that was jacked up on wheels. It was difficult to move around, but dammit I stayed seated.
Watched 6 hours of reality TV because the remote was on the table and out of reach. Since that day i know what it feels like to be in a coma.
kerningz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I get really lazy when it comes to school work. I'm a junior in High School right now with mostly A's and B's but I can't remember the last time I did a homework at home. Even when someone lets me copy their homework, I pay them to copy it for me. -Sigh-
my roomy and me didnt trash our glas for 8 months living in our apartment cause the next container is somewhat in a inconvenient position. Did it last weekend, total of 35 shopping bags full of glas, 99 bottles of booze and 263 bottles of wine. Took us sth. like 4 hours to get rid of it. At least I dont have to do it for another 8 months now. Cheers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time, I put on a pair of jeans only to discover that my belt was on a different pair.... so I took those jeans off and put on the others instead of just moving the belt.
For programming assignments in University (early 2000s) we had to submit them using some sort of online class system. Anyway, all the system checked for was that the needed files had the correct file extension and totalled under a certain size. On one occasion when I had been particularly lazy and forgotten to complete the assignment I thought quickly and found some small .dll files that I could copy, rename and submit.
I heard back from my lecturer by the Tuesday following the assignment submission deadline that the files had become corrupted and could I hand deliver them on a CD to make sure. I had spent the entire weekend getting the assignment done waiting for this contact.
In my classroom I often find myself sitting just out of arm's reach of the object I need. "I would like a volunteer to go get me that pen!" Seriously 18 little hands go shooting up every time and I don't have to get up.
awfml ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to walk the extra steps to the toilet. Peed in the tub because it was closer.
CasZenga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
longbowz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit my pants while eating a sandwich once, finished my sandwich and what I was watching on TV before I cleaned up... not proud of it, but its the truth
Wiggles7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once frisbeed a dinner plate out my window and into a tree because I didn't feel like cleaning it. It made an almost popping sound as it hit the tree and looked like it just exploded into dust. It was awesome.
I was woken up by my alarm clock, so I proceeded to turn it off, as well as about 20 alarms I had set on my phone. Then, realizing I was cold, I unpacked my sleeping bag, crawled in, and slept the entire day, missing all my classes.
kariface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I regularly lay on the couch with popcorn spilled across my chest and use my tongue to do a frog/chameleon grab to get it so I don't have to use my hands.
This happened last night. I was in the office alone and the motion sensor lights turned off. Instead of getting up and walking 2 metres I decided to throw stress balls towards the sensor (I had a massive box of company logo stress balls at my feet. I went through over 60 with no avail so I worked the next couple of hours in the dark then it loomed on me! I'd have to pick them up! So while on my way out I dragged the box over to the graveyard of squishy balls and left the box looking like it had been "tipped" over!.....the perfect crime!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ezbior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was a long line waiting to get coffee at tims In the morning..everyone was standing around waiting...I decided fuck standing...I grab a chair and am the only person In line sitting down waiting for my coffee
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I only press the "minute plus" button on the microwave so I don't have to move my fingers too much.
I was laying on the couch playing video games, but I started to get a bad case of sun in my eyes. Rather than move to the other couch or close the window, I paused and took a nap. The sun was out of my eyes when I woke up.
Occasionally, although my wife spends so much of her time organizing the recycling and compost, when she gives it to me on my way to work to dispose of outside, I will take a detour on the elevator to the floor below us, get out and drop the plastic and compost bags into the all purpose trash chute (she would catch me doing this on our floor) then I get back into the elevator, go down to the lobby and proceed to walk passed the recycling and compost bins outside since they're on my way but annoying to open/use.
Unable to find any clean cups in the house, and unwilling to clean one, I emptied the crumbs out of a pringle tube and used it as a cup.
dc295 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how many people were too lazy to even comment.
tOSU_AV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used a BB gun to turn off my audio receiver. It worked, but only because the force of the shot totally annihilated the power button and broke the receiver. didn't have to move tho.
Bent down to test whether carpet was dry after I washed it. It was. Realized how tired I was and laid down. Fell asleep on the floor directly next to my bed. No alcohol or drugs were involved, just couldn't muster the energy to get to my knees and roll myself into bed :| Slightly ashamed.
I had a 3 days duty in a military outpost and my duty was to change the watchmen, but the outpost was quite small , so i told the guards to change without my help because they were like 2 minutes away from their fellow soldiers, I slept for 3 days in the row , with breaks only to eat and shit.
I had to pee, but I didn't want to get up so I masturbated.
eladivine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I work at an office where the door is opened using a magnetic card that is coded with a fingerprint.
For 8 months I developed a system of calling the office two minutes before I got there to open the door for me, saying I forgot my card at home, hoping it will be a different person every time.
They were on to my laziness eventually and I went upstairs to the office where they made me a card.
Bollaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my friends ran out of water and were too lazy to literally walk 5 minutes to get some. We ended up boiling tap water, and adding lemons to remove the taste.
I did all my GCSE art coursework then on the day it was due to be handed in decided I couldn't be bothered to cycle the couple of miles to school just for the sake of
getting a better grade and just
failed the coursework
instead.
amar112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A couple of months back o got into an accident on my bike...the other Guy said he would pay for my bike...and till today I was to lazy to send the bill...around $600 bucks
Bought a Wii u Just so that I didnt have to leave my bedroom to play games. The gamepad lives in my room and can pick up the signal from through the wall. And it can control the tv so i can Fuck with people from my bed
Edit: spelling
Bjolg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got high, went to the store which is about 5 min walk from where I lived. Called a cab to get home, which is expensive as fuck in Norway.
I have done this both ways when making microcontroller circuits
Change software code to account for mistakes in hardware, change hardware to account for mistakes in code, or make one more complex to make the other easy.
I once called my brother on the phone and asked him to look up a phone number because I was too lazy to get up and get the phone book. This was long before smart phones.
Was laying in bed when the need for sleep overtook me, I had to turn the tv off but the controller was on the tv stand. I threw shoes, a bouncy ball, an old Yak Back I had, and lastly a golf ball. The golf ball smashed the screen and I just decided fuck it, tv's off.
Was watching football in a pub. My pint of beer was emtpy. The bartender didn't show up anymore. Long story short: I took out my cellphone and called the bartender and asked for another beer, because i was too lazy to go to the bar.
I finally sat down in my chair only to find out that the remote was all the way across the room. I downloaded and remote app on my phone and turned my TV on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm procrastinating, browsing through Wikipediainstead of doing other, important stuff. As I'm waiting for a page to load, my eyes wander across the room to where my latest Netflix discs are stacked on my desk. I could not remember which movies they were.
Instead of walking ten feet across the room to find out, I went to my Netflix queue.
Asking one of my kids to come in from another room and hand me the remote that is sitting on the coffee table right next to my feet. That way, I don't have to move my laptop from my lap. I'll occasionally step it up a notch by having them change the channel or adjust the volume as well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've always wanted to lucid dream but I'm always lazy to do them stuff. ...Then a particular dream happened where I would love for it to be reality happened. I was in the helicarrier -- yes, The Avengers -- and I think I had the same rank as Agent Hill. In that dream I was aware that I was dreaming which was the first step to lucid dream right? Right.
I went "Ahh, can't be bothered deal with Director Fury." and proceeded to force myself awake.
A dream I've always wanted and I just threw it away like that. Yeah I know right. Nice job. orz
I was taking notes in my education class and once my hand reached the right side of the page I was too lazy to bring it back to the left to continue taking notes... I decided to just begin each sentence from the center of the page for the rest of class.
Haxxox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to take an online quiz my teacher had put up. When I get to class it turns out nobody had been able to do it because of a glitch so she gave us another chance. Which I did not take because I was too lazy.
As soon as my firstborn was old enough to walk, I started teaching her how to play fetch. Fetch her toy, her blankie, the remote...
It almost took too much work to really qualify as "lazy", but it has paid off in spades as I have not had to get up to find the remote in almost 3 years.
magnersy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
Ygreg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Installed a no-cd crack for a game, because the CD tray of my laptop was blocked by the mess on my desk (mainly some CD's, including the one for this game).
That's entry level lazy right there. I've been making Ramen in the microwave since I was a wee lad. Now if you made it on top of a kerosene heater to avoid moving to the kitchen...
BWallyC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was supposed to do something but instead I just
mott3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i don't think i've ever upvoted so many people in one thread, but this one is just fantastic.
a few things i can recal:
at work, after having my coffee, i use the hot water from our water cooler thingy to wash my cup, then add cold water to it to make it warm, and then water the plants with it. this is to avoid leaving the office space and going to the communal kitchen (10 meters at most).
a few time i've left the food in the tupperware for too long, and it began to grow mold, so i just threw the whole thing out.
my 1st real piece of code that i wrote was to in-part automate my job (at the time) of converting psd files to html email. This actually ended up saving me about an hour a day. Obviously i still pretended to take just as long with my work as prior to the script and browsed the net instead...
Was too lazy to make the 5 minute walk to the bus stop, so I took the light rail train that was across the street to a major station, where I hopped on a second light rail train that dropped me off about two minutes from from the bus stop. Added ~30 minutes to my trip, but didn't have to move legs as much. So it was all good.
doittuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Should have been in class. Nope, smoking weed in my car in the parking lot. Just didn't feel like going to class that day.
When I was in high school, My cat threw up on one side of the comforter on my bed and I just used the other side of the comforter until someone else washed it.
When I was younger I never had a nightstand, but I always took a drink to bed with me. Having to lean over the edge of the bed to pick up this cup then lean sideways to drink it was frustrating. So I taped a bunch of straws together so I could drink in bed. Straw was like 3 feet long.
I accidently wrinkled one of my work shirts. It stayed on my desk for about 2 weeks before I decided to put it back in the wash because I didn't want to iron it.
i left a dish in my room instead of taking it to the kitchen, after several days it was pretty gross, so i threw it away instead of washing it. I have done this more than once.
ksadeck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to scoop myself a bowl of icecream, and thus had none.
Paid ยฃ200 for light bulbs I can turn off with my phone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The way my office at home is set up, walking in, turning on the light, and getting to my desk was just terribly inefficient (it's a small room, but the switch placement is unfortunate. So I installed a proximity censor light switch. Now I just walk in and sit down, and it is glorious. Did the same in the bathrooms, but it makes a little more sense in bathrooms.
wasn't me but my best friend in high school. He was drunk to the extent that you'd expect a senior to be upon realizing that all your best friends would be heading off to college soon, and you wouldn't. He and my other buddy were sharing his room (2 beds), he half-woke up and realized he had to poop but didn't want to move, so he didn't. He shat himself then and there, pants soaking in his own dookie the mammoth slept.
Was about to sleep but it was to hot under the covers. I yelled for my dad to come up, he was on the first floor, and said that it was important he'd come. When he arrived I told him I needed him to flip the cover so it would be on the cold side..
A friend of me was watching a movie, and all these beer bottles were standing on the table and partially blocking his vision. Instead of getting up (the bottles were slightly out of reach), he kicked at the table causing all the bottles to fall off. Obviously he never picked up those bottles after the movie was finished.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I drink my coffee black and my whiskey straight with no ice because I can't be bothered with adding cream, sugar, or ice
Not me, but my very so lazy friend.
I was playing xbox live and saw him on. Alright, join a party. After clicking 'x' button to invite him to a party I wait. And waited. And waited. Then I get a call from him, "hello?" "Hey" "hey?" I was so confused. "I was too lazy to put my mic in so I called you." "Why?" "Because, I was just to lazy." His phone was down stairs in his 3 story house. He lives on the top and his mic was right next to him.
I once slept on the couch in my living room instead of on my bed because there was clean, unfolded clothes on my bed and I didn't feel like putting them on the floor.
Check the weather on my phone from bed, despite my bed being right next to the window.
keewa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fell asleep on the toilet with my head resting against the sink. I was there for about 3 hours without even realising it. Had a hilarious red dent on my forehead for the rest of the day.
I used to have a pool stick with a strategically bent paper clip attached to the end of it so I could sit on my couch and eject my PS2 games. I would then use said paper clip to hook the disc and bring it to me, put another game on it then return it to the PS2. I thought I was pretty damn smart. Turns out I'm just lazy.
Jmosh42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've called my home phone number while I was in my room when I wanted to ask my mom something.
It's happening right now. All I have to do is plug in the printer cable about one inch away from my laptop's USB port and print out an important document. But something about this shit just seems so goddamn complicated. What will happen if I plug in the cable? Be possibly met with a low-ink level message? And then i'll have to look for a folder for this shit..
I'll just print it out at work.
Ninja47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hooked up pulleys to my ceiling and floor. Then I ran fishing line from the light switch through the pulleys to a hook near my bed.
This wasn't lazy, because it took me about 10 minutes to set up, but I never had to get up again to hit the light switch, and that's the lazy part.
gwhandle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I still haven't unpacked the last load of stuff out of my trunk from my second-to-last move, which was three years ago.
becksftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was told at a Boy Scout campout that we couldn't play capture the flag until we had collected a sizable amount of wood for a fire. Went to the general store at the campgrounds and bought firewood.
Glampire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put the movies that I owned and that Netflix had for instant streaming and put them on the instant queue so I didn't have to physically be bothered to put the disc in the tray.
It's frighteningly often that I'll take so much time dressing up and packing for the next two days at work because I leave my laptop on at night and I get right back to redditing when I'm eating breakfast that I'll end up taking a 25-30SGD half hour taxi ride to camp rather than spending 1.84SGD on an hour and a half long public transport ride.
Sat in the back of a motorboat with my fishing line dragging behind (aka "trolling") to catch white bass. I guess reeling them in did take some energy.
Inflame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a friend - He drove to class, couldn't find a parking spot close to the building, turned around and went home.
I keep some shit like sandwich baggies, straws, plastic spoons ect... next to my bed. I had left my drink on the other side of the room and proceeded to spend 20 mins taping straws together so I could drink without getting up. Got the straw into the cup from my bed and immediately knocked it over. Took me 2 days to throw a towel over the spill.
Hombrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In highschool I would have my buddy drive me home after hanging out as long as I did the same for him. We lived a block and a half away from each other. I took the deal cause I usually went to his place. I took that great deal.
Pancar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought a macbook pro only for the multifinger trackpad shortcuts...
Broke my ankle a few years ago, in the night instead of putting the removable cast back on and use the crutches to get to the toilet, I leaned out of the bed and pissed into a plastic storage box, then the next morning my girlfriend would have to empty it as I needed both crutches to move around but I could have got away with 1 crutch and emptied it myself but couldn't be bothered.
One time I was on the couch and needed one more pillow for comfort. But the pillow was all the way on the other side of the room. I tied the remote control to the sheet I was using and made a grappling hook. I hooked the N64 by the console and cables in the back. Pulled the N64 to me. Then I unplugged two controllers for it. I tied them together and had a more efficient, longer grappling hook. Then I got the pillow after a few tries. The whole thing took about 3 mins to do. But I felt like a lazy genius.
gehnrahl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was really thirsty and had nothing to drink but tap water. So I ordered a pizza and soda; I really didn't care about the pizza, I just wanted something to drink and wanted someone to bring it to me.
kacperp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went to jail for two weeks because i was too lazy to go to my probation officer. Who was leaving in my apartment house.
qidlo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a ceiling fan with a remote control. The ceiling fan is the main source of artificial light in the room. Mind you, there is a wall switch as well. I spent almost an entire year with the fan and the light switched off because I couldn't find the remote. Well, not because I couldn't find it, but because I was too lazy to look for it.
Not the laziest but recently I find myself using Google's and Youtube's keyboard input with my laptop because I can't be bothered to reach for my laptop keyboard to type things out.
When I was younger the cable set top boxes used to have small buttons on top to change the channels. At some point the remote broke, so I got to where I could push the buttons with my toes, so I didn't have to move an extra two feet to do it with my hands. My bedroom was pretty small.
Elementi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Texted a friend downstairs to bring me a drink when she came back upstairs seems pretty lazy.
trut3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid in highschool I was supposed to clean up one bag of chips from my room, would've taken a couple seconds, but I was told I had 3 days to do it! Naturally I didnt, apparently had I done it I wouldnt've had to go to school that day! ... Still never picked it up
Logged onto Steam one day during the summer sales. Another buddy was online and wanted to play a game. He told me to buy Star Wars Battlefront 2 because he had that game and said we should play together. It was on sale so I bought it, but he needed to install his copy again. I had seen his setup before. He was one of those people that had all of their dvds and games in one of those huge zip lock CD binders. Instead of looking for the discs, he just bought the game again on steam.
Also, I only own one bowl, one pan, one spoon and two pairs of chopsticks for my really small studio apartment. After 8 months, I just bought one cup. I was just drinking directly out of the bottle so I never really needed a cup. Originally, I only planned living here one year so I thought why bother buying a whole set. I just wash everything after use. Not sure if lazy or cheap...
My Accord shut off and wouldn't start at a stop sign. I was very depressed at the time and didn't want to deal with it, so I had someone pick me up and I just left my car. Not sure what happened to it.
Once upon a time, the battery in my remote died when I was comfy in bed. Instead of getting some new batteries from the kitchen I instead grabbed a golf club near my bed and used the handle to change the channels.
There are very few priorities that can compete with a comfy bed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tiping th
dcwj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend lived in the basement of her house. The closest bathroom was two floors up. I pee a lot, especially at night. She told me that she often goes into the laundry room to relieve herself in an old Taco Bell plastic soda cup, instead of walking up the stairs. I followed her lead. I am a female.
I was nestled in my luxurious sumo bean bag chair playing xbox. Suddenly, the urge to pee hit me. Not wanting to disturb my little nest, I considered my options. I could piss myself and continue playing OR just remove myself from my cozy roost. I legitimately considered pissing on myself for roughly 20 minutes. Finally, I came to the conclusion that in the end, the cleanup would be more work than actually getting up for 2 minutes to go pee.
I'm a dog groomer and was washing a big dog in the back. Suddenly, I had to pee like a racehorse and the trickling water from the hose wasn't helping. Dry off the dog, put it in a kennel, walk out of the salon and down the hall to the bathroom? Nope. Peed between dogs legs down into the floor drain.
I have now been in bed since Saturday, only leaving to go to the toilet and to get biscuits and pizza...
DonFreas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use computer software called Joy2Key to connect my xbox 360 controller to my computer and use it as a mouse because I'm too lazy to change my batteries for my wireless mouse. This is especially useful when I watch netflix in my bed and don't want to have to get up for the "still watching?" popup.
dchurch0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I park on the 3rd level of a parking structure because that is the minimum acceptable level to use the elevator. Not as lazy as some of you, but lazy none the less.
jay-hova ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but this is hands down the laziest thing I've ever seen. A friend comes over and decides to help himself to some pizza. He puts the pizza in the microwave oven, puts the timer to 1:11, and hits start.
I asked him why 1:11, and his response was he was too lazy to press multiple buttons, so he presses 1,1,1.
My junior year in high school, I come home early one Sunday morning drunk, like 02:47 early. Once I passed the alcohol intake inspection from my mother, I stumbled upstairs, took some of my clothes off and passed out on my bed. 16 year old Jim Beam will do that to a teen. About 08:35 right after my mom left for church, the barn swallows started to play the โLets fly into the window over and over gameโ on my bed room windows. I was in the twilight in between drunk and hungover and wasnโt in the mood to listen to this all morning. My bed was a high bed that swung on chains so I was able to reach the window and my shot gun without getting out of bed. I rolled over, opened the window, pushed out the screen letting it fall to the lawn below, grabbed my Remington sportsman 58, chamber a round of 12 gage bird shot and played a quick round of โScatter the noisy damn barn swallow all over the front lawnโ game. The dust/feathers/meat settled the other swallows made a low pass over their little buddy and decided GAME/SET/MATCH goes to the drunk with the shot gun. I laid the gun on the bed by my side, looked at the clock and calculated I had a good 90 more minutes of sleep time before mom got home from church. I would need to put up the gun, go downstairs and retrieve the screen go back up stairs and install the screen, and blame the cat for the feathers/meat all over the front lawn. I fell back asleep. I was awaken to the noise of the door slamming and my mother yelling my name at the top of her lungs. I half woke in a hungover haze, reached down and felt the gun lying next to me. Right as my bedroom door flew open, I quickly realized I had over slept, all the evidence of my sin was still in place and that the cat was in the free and clear of any blame. It took hours to pick up all those feathers and for such a small bird, a swallow is rather meaty. Mom was not happy for a few days after that.
kluchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but a friend of mine. In the military we lived in the dorms. The way the base was set up we had a strip of dorms down a street, a full block of parking lot across the street, and then on the far side of the parking lot was another street with the chow hall on the other side of that second street. I realize that sound very confusing.
Dorm||Parking lot ||Chow Hall
Anyway, one day a group of 5 of us decided to go eat dinner. Well, one of my friends decided it wasn't worth walking, so he jumped in his car and drove to the other side of the parking lot. This was especially stupid, as the parking lot was very full, so he didn't find a spot very easily. He entered the Chow Hall a good 4 minutes after the rest of us did.
I left my sunroof open for like 2-3 months cause I couldn't be bothered to walk outside and close it. It rained alot. There is mould inside now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One minor lazy thing I do is I bring drinks up to my room and then when I finish them I set them on my dresser and then I'm too lazy to ever remove them so it looks like a recycling center in my room after a couple months
I have a mid sized bookshelf next to my bed, and I was really desperate to turn the lights off. I ended up throwing all 70 book from the bookshelf at the light switch.
ZHaDoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was going todo nothing, but I haven't got around to it yet.
I work from home, and do technical support, I will remote in on my laptop while laying in bed until I hear my phone ring, or I get an IM. The bad thing is my desk it 5 feet from my bed.
I lived in a half-way house of sorts with lots of people coming and going at all hours of the day and night. The people who did not have jobs had to do housework. We started to notice that we were running low on dishes during mealtime until we figured out that this kid was stashing dirty dishes in the woods behind the house when it was his turn to clean them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remembered it was supposed to snow. I was on the couch five feet from a window and three feet from a laptop. I stretched for the laptop to check the weather.
MibZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed out the window of my 25th story apt because I was too lazy to walk the ~10 steps to my bathroom.
I like to think that the various wind paths on the way down blew all of it back into the building. So many people had my piss on their windows.
I once didn't hand in an assessed piece of uni work because it meant walking across to the other side of campus. I would have had to detour 5 minutes from my normal walk back.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We have two dogs and an electric/invisible fence. One is three years old and has a collar for the fence. The other dog is six months old and doesn't have a collar yet because he isn't old enough.
Under normal circumstances this means that I have to stand outside with the dog whenever his pint sized bladder gets full. So, to avoid such terrible occurrences I have rigged a leash that has a clip on both sides. I attach a dog to each end of the leash. The little dog can not go more than 4 feet from the big dog and the big dog will not leave the yard due to the shock collar.
I may continue with this setup forever to spare me having to teach the new dog about the fence.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I binge-watch tv shows on Netflix. Last saturday, I pulled an all-nighter watching Doctor Who episodes. By the time the sun was up I checked the numbers and I had watched 21 and a half hours of Netflix in 24 hours. I only stopped to go to the bathroom, microwave my food, and regret my entire existence. I plan on repeating this exercise this coming weekend.
slowshot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You ain't lazy until you start shitting your pants because you are too lazy to walk to the bathroom.
I once paid a friend to fill up my water glass all day while I laid on the couch. Not to bad on its own, but I paid another friend to construct a super straw (a bunch of bendy straws taped together) so I wouldn't have to lift my head.
I was really hungover so I barley had to piss all day.
living in a cabin up outside of fairbanks I had just cooked a totinos pizza. I was too lazy to go outside to take a piss and I thought that hot metal will evap liquid so I start taking a piss in the oven. HORRID SMELL when my piss started to turn to steam... Clearly was not thinking
i was once laying in the couch with my ex, watching tv. The remote was out of our reach, but she was closest. I stretched out my arm in the direction of the remote and tensed up my fingers, making a real consentrated facial expression. After a minute or two i think she got fed up with me looking like an idiot and fetched me the remote. I am still convinced that i used the force to make her fetch the remote!
Lilbyte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing...
Ticklez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How isn't the top comment "nothing" ?
ivnslva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm scrolling using the thing where you click the wheel down and slowly move your mouse so it scrolls automatically instead of spinning the mouse wheel.
lennort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I left my credit card at a restaurant near my work. I knew for a fact that's where it was, but instead of swinging by to pick it up I called the cc company and had them cancel the old card and send me a new one.
Pushed all the furniture in my room together, so that I could just lean or roll over to everything I need. Literally, my bed was right behind my futon, which was in front of my computer desk, with shelves on both sides of me.
Average day - wake up in bed, roll onto my futon and get on computer. If I had to study I could reach over to either shelf for my books. If I had a mini-fridge the only thing I'd have to leave that small area of my room would be to go to the bathroom.
I originally pushed all the furniture to the center to paint the walls, but was too lazy to push it back and decided to try it out. This went on for like 2 months.
I pissed in a bottle, because I was to lazy to use the bathroom 30 yards away.
coltpoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Piss in the sink every morning while I brush my teeth. Haha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I often watch movies on my ps3 in my room, but my remote is broken...so when it's over I turn the PS off but the TV is still on (bright blue screen)
So I pretend to sleep and do everything to wake my girlfriend up because she's been sleeping since 25 minutes into the movie
So she wakes up, is annoyed by the light and gets up to turn the TV off...the worst is that the TV is on my side of the bed and I can get to the off button just by stretching a lot...
rebar71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use to turn on the TV to see what time it was instead of rolling over and looking at the alarm clock...though now with cell phones I can just reach for the cell phone as easily as the TV remote
GRZMNKY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once ordered a pizza for delivery and called a friend to come over..timed it just right to where they got to my place at the same time and my friend paid for the pizza and let himself in...
My buddy and I were roommates ten years ago, we enabled each other's laziness. We both hated doing dishes. We would use every last dish rather than just clean one to use it. I'm talking using coffee cups to eat cereal, using bowls to drink from etc. Well one time we were completely out once again, and I jokingly told my roommate we should just put all the dishes in the bathtub so they get clean all at once (we obviously didn't have a dishwasher). His eyes lit up and while the hot water was running in the tub we transferred all the dishes from the kitchen into the hot soapy tub.
And there they sat. For months. It was absolutely disgusting after just a few weeks. Oh and we didn't clean it ourselves, we hired two Bosnian girls to clean them for us.
Another time he wanted to build a bar in the house. He got as far as making the frame and then we just used that. No trim, no top, just a bunch of two by fours assembled together. People rested their drinks on 4 inches of wood.
Hdloser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Boy scouts I had to deal so much with the New Scouts being crazy that I made a restraint system out of bungee cords rather than tell them to stop over and over again. It was basically a slinky that you could tighten that was 3 feet tall. Went to my first Summer camp years later in which I had no new scouts. We were given small cabins but there wasn't enough room in all of the cabins, but there were tens maybe 20 feet away. Nope I took the retention slinky, added a small bit more to the bottom of it, took a couple survival blankets, took two more bungee cords and made makeshift hammock out of it.
TL,DR I made a hammock because i didn't want to walk 20 feet
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have watched movies on Netflix that I already own on DVD because I was too lazy to get out of bed and get the disc.
BtCoolJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same situation, but I called my mom downstairs asking for a glass of water so she could pass me the remote
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to chew my food so I just let it sit there in my mouth.
Screamed bloody murder until my mom came in the room and turned the fan off and handed me the remote. It was an arctic wasteland out there, I wasn't going to risk it, I was to warm under my blanket.
I lie back in my office chair by my desk, put my feet on the seat and I just use my mouse and if I am too comfortable to move back to type, I open ease of access center followed by onscreen keyboard. Then I type what I need to click by click.
Went online and downloaded an assignment for class and printed it off to the printer within reach instead of getting up and looking for the hard copy not 6 feet away.
zFraGiLe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was to lazy to wipe my ass so i jumped in the shower to lazy to shampoo but water pressure did its job
aham8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would make me breakfast throughout high school..I would usually eat in the kitchen, but slowly it progressed to breakfast in bed by my senior year..I could place my "order" before going to bed the night before. Breakfast in bed caused me to promptly fall asleep right after and I usually didn't make it into school until at least 9
Dackzore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to live opposite a Kebab shop, used to get them to deliver, 9 times out of 10, they still used the moped.
Watched the same movie multiple times because I was too lazy to get up and change discs. It was interesting with Pulp Fiction though, I put it on random. Never the same movie twice!
I knew I was going to get some from this girl I've been seeing and needed to cut my fingernails for foreplay reasons. I only cut my index and middle finders...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
reddit.
PopeG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When we refurbished the house my dad got carried away and installed a wired network throughout the house: "that way we can have 6 Internet points in each room and a phone! "
For some reason he put a printer in the kitchen.... still not sure why.
As a relatively lazy 16 year old at the time, I spent a lot of time on my PC in my room upstairs. So one day I wanted another cup of tea and really didn't fancy the walk downstairs. Promptly printed off a word document to the kitchen: "Tea please"
There was a moment's pause and then I was told to "sod off" by my dad shouting from the kitchen.
I then had to pursue my tea in a more traditional manner and go and make it myself.
my first college room mate and I would get into out beds with the light on and if neither of us wanted to get down to turn it off we would yell "HELP! HEEEELLLPP!!" until someone in the dorm would finally come in to see what was going on and we'd ask them to turn the lights off.. they were always mad.
cbwcjw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Quit smoking because I didn't want to keep going to the gas station.
I connected my laptop to my TV via HDMI to watch a movie. So I was in bed and I had the laptop on my lap to select the movie and everything, but couldn't be bothered to put the laptop on the floor or my desk or anything, so I ended up just watching the movie on my laptop with it playing on my TV in the background.
newk8600 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drunk on my balcony at 2 a.m. Peed off the balcony into the bushes. Just being lazy.
Justiin9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last winter I layed in bed all the time when I weren't at school, like a bear.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of run 100 meters to the bus stop i waited 1 hour in -10 degrees celcius today.
Mutelol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live two houses next to a pizza delivery place. I was too lazy to pick it up, so I had it delivered. The pizza man said it was really surprised when I answered the door.
shoop45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to read this thread, anyone got a tl;dr for all of this stuff?
I'm still doing it. I've sat on my arse for 10 years. It's so good. But I need to stop soon. Conscience.
Mutasyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a pizza joint as the night supervisor. In my efforts to be a lazy ass I'd roll around the place on a wheeled-chair instead of getting up and walking.
Back when having a cellphone was a new thing, one of the first times I used it was to call the house phone (it's near the kitchen) from my bedroom on a Saturday morning at about 8am.
My mom, who was sleeping across the hall from my room upstairs, woke up... went downstairs to answer the phone...and I promptly gave her my order for breakfast.
Not the best, but I was sitting in a movie theater waiting for the movie to start and it was crazy cold in there. I could even hear others talking about it. Pulled out my phone and called the theater and asked them if they could turn the temp up on our theater. They had a pretty good wtf moment.
knl1990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mine would be peeing in a bottle when I was much younger and toilet was too far away
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this as an adult.
I was camping a few weeks ago (mandatory for a field class), it was -1C outside and I was in my tent trying to keep warm. I wasn't about to go outside and subject myself to the wind, I just pissed in a water bottle. Unfortunately, it was a good steel bottle, so I wasn't going to throw it away. A few weeks later I found it in my gear unpacking. It was very unpleasant to clean.
I do a lot of lazy things but one interesting one comes to mind . On a couple occasions, I have driven to school with my head out the window because I was too lazy to scrape the frost off my windshield
Mysteez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit
tigz123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Writing this rather than telling my story about being lazy.
Blindul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friends and I were so lazy, we watched the lord of the rings trilogy, extended edition in one sitting. Whole day of just laying on the couch, didn't even bother going to the bathroom.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this twice a year, not lazy. Wonderful.
Zenatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on the couch, you know when your body has become 1 with couch and any movement would ruin the absolute state of comfort! Some show had just come on and the remote was located on the armrest of the couch at my feet. The only solution:
Text my wife to come downstairs because I needed some help. Asked her to hand me the remote. Needless to say, she did not hand me the remote and I slept that night on the couch.
I went to a college that had multiple bus stops on their campus. I would take the bus from the south food court to the parking structure to the parking garage before driving home. FYI, it was about 150 yards. I would race my friends to get there at times, they would walk and I would take the bus....they won every time.
Tl;dr: so lazy to walk to my car, took a bus 150 yards to get there.
Throw my tied bag of garbage outside so that it sits next to my apartment door for a few days instead of walking it to the dumpster.
But in my defense my door leads to outside (not an indoor hallway) and the dumpster area is sketchy as fuck at night and I'm never home during winter daylight hours except on Saturday and Sunday.
Gogohax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always take the elevator from the second floor of my college dorm where my room is, to the first. It's also slightly closer to the stairwell than the elevator.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Heard a band I hadn't listened to in a while on last.fm, knew I had some albums of them somewhere on my computer. Looked in music folder, root of storage drives, then torrented their discography. Took less time to download than I spent checking a few folders, should have started with torrenting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mine goes from my bed, to the extra bed, to the floor in front of my bed, to the corner.
I lived alone in the country and it was winter. My bathroom was on the other side of the house. I had to pee and I didn't feel like making the trek. Opened the window and slid up the screen, hung it out and let it go.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sleep with whip in bed. Problem solved.
motonen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't set my wall clock to match daylight saving time. And in few days I started to somehow automatically decode that actual time was one hour more/less.. So that way I checked the time; until half year later my clock was actually correct again and I had to unlearn this awkward habit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spend 10 days in a retreat doing nothing. No talking, no sex, no reading, no texting, no thinking (very hard, but doable), no meat, no phone, no tv, no nothing. And I sleep as much as I want.
Layin on a couch, watching TV. Got in the mood for a cup of tea, messaged mother to turn on electric kettle when she got home an hr later. She came home, turned it on, made the tea, told me it's made and to get it in the kitchen, I'm in the basement. I think the tea is still there, cold, undrank. It's been a month.
fordo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I have to microwave something and it tells me to put it in for 2:30, i just press 2:22. Less buttons.
lapoleon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:10 on December 10, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
good grief
Fett2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked my sister for a glass of water, she said "That's the laziest thing I've ever heard of, if you can tell me one thing more lazy than that I'll give you a dollar". Me: "Just slip the dollar in my pocket".
I downloaded the xbox app (that let's you use your phone as a controller for the dashboard) to my iPhone because the controller was 4 ft in-front of me and I couldn't reach it.
I was going to try and remember something from my past and post it here, but fuck it.
ddg19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought an extra power strip for my dorm room so that I could plug my lamp into the same power strip as my phone, but now I use the power button on the extra strip to turn off my lights from the comfort of my own bed. Feels good man
faleboat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I attached strings to my remote controls so I could throw it on the couch and retrieve it easily. Why not set it on the table? you ask. Ha! the table is covered in other shit I am too lazy to deal with.
I have tooth brushes and toothpaste in random places throughout my bathroom so I don't need to get up and go to the sink. I've even got water bottles with them for rinsing purposes.
Just last night I really wanted to watch The Royal Tenenbaums, but the DVD is on a shelf in my closet which is about twelve feet from my laptop and I wanted none of that so I just downloaded the movie. Probably took more time for the movie to download than it would've taken for me to get up and get the DVD, but a lot less effort, so...
Bamf4585 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is a more recent action that I did, using my tablet to remote host on to my computer even though my desktop isn't more than 3 ft behind me.
I've had a crook shoulder for years because I was warm and cocooned in my bed facing one direction and my phone was behind me and ringing. I tried to reach behind me but couldn't quite until I swung my arm back as hard as I could and heard a loud crack and felt a sharp pain.
Valendr0s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I would RDP into the left computer and the right computers instead of just moving my hands and rotating my torso.
A KVM (keyboard, video, mouse) lets you switch between computers, usually used for servers so you can have 1 keyboard/mouse/monitor physically in the server room and yet connect to all the servers that usually don't require physical presence... I thought I might benefit from that, so I hooked a KVM into my keyboard, monitor and mouse, and hooked it into those other computers (usually 2-3 on my desk at a time)...
I still didn't use it. It required me to hit 'ctrl, shift, alt, 2'... RDP (or VNC) could be accomplished with a single doubleclick if a single icon on my desktop.
I was lazy... Also at that job I would never get up my desk when I could fix something from my seat. I'd remotely modify registry keys, change files, stop/start services, kill processes, reboot computers. All while trying to keep phone conversations as short as possible. If I could do something from my desk, I did it. If I couldn't, I'd send someone else to go grab me the machine...
My boss told me that made me efficient. Whatever. I don't care. I don't do it for efficiency. I do it because I'm supremely lazy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but in undergrad I hated coming home drunk then having to get up and pee in the middle of the night (or worse, hungover the morning after). I built a urinal in my dorm room out of cardboard (lined with a garbage bag) that drained into a 3L soda bottle. It worked flawlessly for a couple weeks until some girl "accidentally" knocked it over. Oh LAWD the smell... I tried to sprinkle it with something to absorb it a la janitors using sawdust in elementary school, but all I had was powdered coffee creamer. It turned into this puddle of hazelnut/pee scented goo. I tried vacuuming that up which worked about as well as expected. Overall: 4/10, might build again.
Senior year, I had to fill out a rather difficult analysis guide for Heart of Darkness. My friend had the same teacher the previous year, so naturally I gave him a ring and he gave me the answers. I had the answers in my possession a week before it was due, yet i still didn't do it. I was too lazy to copy answers...
kkup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Music was playing while I was lying on my bed plugged into my speakers across the room. A song came on that I didn't want to hear, so I paided $3 or so for some random app that lets me change the song remotely.
In college I wanted to go to the restroom while laying in my bed.
Let me set this up, you walked into our suite and there were 3 rooms, one to the left of the hall, one straight ahead, and another on the right. There are bathrooms in each end of the suite adjacent to the rooms, one w a toilet the other w a shower... These 2 bathrooms are for the 3 rooms in the suite...
So back to my story... I didn't want to stand up if watching a movie... I ran a clear flex hose from my bed, out the door, down the hall, in the bathroom, in to the toilet...
I thought it could just gravity feed to it... But I was a retard and was more worried about cosmetics and the way the line ran so no one would trip over it and like had it going down, then up... Etc... You can only imagine what happened...
Now I think if it and think I should of hooked up a small pump to it and it's of worked.
Funny how being lazy required a shit ton of work.
TLDR: tried building a pisser from bedroom to bathroom. Made a huge mess in hallway.
Buddy of mine had to use my computer from the other side of the desk we were using. He decided to use remote control instead of walking around the desk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used voice recognition to type this comment.
yoberf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ordered flip flops on Zappos.com because all my socks were dirty. Didn't leave the house until they arrived.
When I'm on my phone (which is slightly too big to reach all parts of the screen with one hand) and I'm relaxing my other arm and have to press something I can't reach with my thumb, I will always try and use my nose to press it. 30% success rate.
Apkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a beanbag chair, and put it in my Kitchen, so I could manoeuvre it in front of my open fridge, and make/eat food. Its the most relaxing way to get at the cold cuts.
Irralfar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ate yesterdays pizza from a garbage bag instead of cooking a meal
lod001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After riding my bike for recreation 30 miles around the entire Grand Rounds Trail in Minneapolis, I drove my car less than a block to the Dinkytown McDonalds to get a post ride meal.
I lived about a five minute walk away from my favorite Mexican restaurant.
Luckily they delivered, but they had a $15 minimum to do so.
Most items on their menu ranged from $2-$4.
I would order around 6 meals just so I wouldn't have to go to the restaurant myself....
This was in my college days, I lived in a dormitory and didn't want to get up off of my bed to open my door for guests/comfort. I flipped my bicycle upside down so the handles and the seat were on the floor and the wheels were up in the air. I used duct tape to secure some cord or rope to the door knob and tied the other end to the foot pedal on my bike, then I had another rope going up to the light fixture so I could give the rope a good tug and the doorknob would turn and the door would swing open. It was one of my prouder moments.
Still haven't unpacked my bag from a trip I went on during the summer
Dman5156 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not specifically me but still funny/weird. my gf has real lazy tendencies, especially when it comes to us doing the sexs. part of the way through foreplay one day she kinda flopped over and said "im too lazy, i want to do this but i dont want to do the effort. can we just lay here and masturbate together?"
I bought one of those Nest thermostats so when I wake up and its too cold to get out of bed I can turn the heat on through the app on my phone...... . . . . . I Live in Florida....
This did not happen to me. It happened to my cousin. Let me note that the part of his brain that tells him to care doesn't work. He was sick one day when he lived with our grandma and he was 13 and I was 12. He had diarrhea and didnt want to go to the bathroom. He was too lazy. So he layed in his bed and shit in his pants for a good hour. Finally got up to go to the bathroom because he stunk himself out. Put his underwear in a baby wipe box after using all the baby wipes then put it out in the kitchen and went to bed. I woke up an threw up. Literally.
Not bothering to get into the correct position to be born. The doctor literally had to turn my sideways infant body 90 degrees while I was still in the womb.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Where I work, our desks are separated by walls. There is a solid wall that is about three feet tall and then above that it's glass. The entire wall is about ten feet tall and they stick out about twenty feet from the back wall. If you want to talk to the person next to you, you have to raise your voice, but not to the point you would be considered shouting. My manager sits in the space next to me and I will call her on the phone when I need to talk to her instead of raising my voice a tiny bit. Also, I have been known to hold paperwork up to the window if she needs to look at it instead of getting up and walking twenty feet to her desk.
0nebl00b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was up in my room doing my homework, when my sister calls me downstairs in need of something important. I asked what it was when I got there only to see her cuddled up in a blanket in what looked like the most comfortable position ever on the couch. She then asks me, can you pass the remote and turn off the light please? The remote was on the table about 2 feet away from her.
inrego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Purchased LED bulbs that I can control over wifi - configured phone to send lights-on signal when the alarm goes off in the morning. Now I can just roll from my bed over in my chair without having to turn the lights on.
amgwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a freshman in college I was running out of clean socks and rather than do laundry, I perfectly timed an order of socks from Amazon. Gotta love Amazon prime
Hebherb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my room. Hands get dirty. Too lazy to go to the bathroom. I take my cup of water and pour it on my hands. "Meh the carpet will soak it up..."
Edit: spelling
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a little kid I was eating scrambled eggs in my room. I was full and instead of taking the dish downsteps to clean the extra off, I threw them into the storage crawlspace in my room. No wonder we have mice...
jat0369 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sleep with my laptop in bed with me so that I can take support calls without getting out of bed.
It's not the most lazy thing I've read on here, but it's my laziness. :)
I buy paper plates and plastic cups so I don't have to do dishes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll just tell you what my brother proudly told me yesterday..."The other day I was so lazy I lied in bed until like 5 pm, then got up and sat around. At 9 I ordered a large Papa John's pizza and ate 7 slices by myself."
We have a wireless keyboard and mouse for our tv. While I was unemployed, the keyboard was at the other end of the couch. I found the letters I wanted in the page that was opened as copied and pasted them until google suggested Netflix. Lazy badge achieved
Lived in a college apartment above a sandwhich shop a couple of years ago. One time I ordered food from there when I was hungover as shit. Told the delivery guy I'd give him an extra five bucks if he walked my food up to my apt just to I didn't have to leave the couch.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I rarely ever watch videos I come across on Reddit because I can't be bothered to open up iTunes and pause my music
sydeu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The most recent would be when we got the three questions to a test two weeks in advance and I didn't bother preparing anything and just went there and improvised.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have like 80 retail CD's of various games and I'm too lazy to use the disks. I pirate them all the time so I don't have to get up and get the disks.
Tried to tie a rake to my dogs tail and let it run outside. Didn't even get close to working. Still never raked my yard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my dorm room our tv didn't have a remote. My roommate and I were both hungover and didn't want to watch what was on. The tv was out of reach from both of our beds so we yelled for the guy who loves across the hall and when he came over to see what we needed all we asked him was to change the channel. He looked at us disgustingly and said "you are lazy assholes". Long story short, he changed the channel for us.
While waiting for the shower water to warm up in my suite last year, I would lean over the sink counter and sleep for an extra 30 minutes(yes some times it took this long). There were times where I missed my class....
My computer has been somewhat dysfunctional for about 2 years now because im to lazy to format and reinstall windows. When im starting it up i have to restart several times until the least annoying error message pops up. And i have to press enter every 20 minutes or so to close the message about my windows trial version has run out.
Used the Nest app on my phone to adjust the a/c thermostat three feet from where I was sitting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I qualify for the Illinois veterans grant which covers my tuition per semester. My fist semester of college I fill out the paperwork, put it in an envelope, and never mailed it, I had to pay with student loans.
9 months pregnant and ate a bowl of noodles upstairs. I was too lazy to take the bowl to the kitchen so I decided to dump the remaining soup in the bathroom sink. The sink got clogged and my husband had to call a plumber the next day.
noc007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I changed out a light switch from a toggle to a rocker in my room when I was a teenager just so I could use a Nerf gun from a distance. When I eventually buy a house, I'll be changing all the switches to work with a home automation system.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last night, I called my wife from the living room and asked her to bring me some water (from the adjacent kitchen).
Googoie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of going downstairs to my computer to check a text document, I logged into my computer from my phone and moved the file to my Google Drive, then read it from my phone.
I live in an apartment, when the four kids where being really loud in the apartment adjacent to my bedroom at about four in the morning I was not having any of that. My phone was too far away to call the resource officer and there was no way I was getting out of bed so I punched the wall as hard as I could, it made them shutup and I got to sleep.
mguibs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to say something to someone but i was so lazy to start a conversation that i didnt bother and just slept at my desk
Not my own, but my brother-in-law once bought a whole new set of dishes instead of washing the dirty ones, then threw the dirty ones away. Not sure if that was really lazy though, the whole process took longer than just washing them.
Last Friday my boss said I could leave work an hour early. My fiancรฉe and I were having pizza for dinner and I was to pick it up on the way home. If I was to leave early it would have been to early to pick it up and I would have had to gone back out to get the pizza. So I just stayed at work my normal time so I didn't have to leave my house again.
Once, I was watching netflix on my projector which was hooked up to my desktop and netflix did that stupid "are you still there" thing so instead of getting up and moving ten feet to click continue, I pulled out my phone and opened up my Remote Desktop app, realized I didn't have my desktops user ID stores any more, then proceeded to remote into my laptop which did have the ID in it then used my laptop to connect to my desktop then clicked continue. It may have taken 5 minutes for something that should have taken 30 seconds, but damnit I was really comfy on the couch.
Tl;dr: remote desktoped from my phone, to my laptop, toy desktop to hit continue on netflix remoteceptiom
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In order to pass my driver's ed class, we needed to turn in 12 car related news articles by the end of the course. I went through the entire course but never turned in the articles. The teacher said that we could bring them in after the course had ended and still get our certificate, but I ended up just waiting until i was 18 and didn't need one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my living room in college we had our tv on a tv stand w/ wheels. We would roll it all the way up to the couch so that when changing the channel, we would just need to use our toes.
I've been eating a lot of raw pasta lately because I am too lazy to cook it. It still has the same calories right?
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Still delicious
McSlice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but I lived on the top floor of a 3-story house when I was in college. The bathroom was on the second floor, so instead of walking downstairs I would simply open up the bedroom window and pee down on to the back yard.
When it would snow, I would try to write my name in cursive. Almost had it once but ran out of pee.
Smozius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman year of college I liked to watch TV from my top bunk bed while eating snack foods. Eating crunchy foods while lying down tends to leave crumbs on your chest. Fortunately my sisters had given me a car cleaning kit for my birthday that included a small vacuum cleaner. I kept it in a makeshift holster on the wall by my bed and vacuumed crumbs off my chest while eating and watching tv.
TL;DR I vacuumed crumbs of my chest
OFJehuty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to live with a friend of mine in an apartment. Two dudes living an apartment rarely get around to the dishes. When it came moving day and we were moving to a new apartment, it just so happened we had a sink overflowing with dishes. Pots, pans, plates, bowls, silverware - you name it.
We just threw them all into a garbage bag and threw it away. Bought new ones at the new apartment.
Today I was too lazy to get up five minutes earlier to make a sammich for lunch, so I just brought everything I needed to make the sammich to work with me. Jar of mayo, check. Back of tuna, check, Ciabatta, check. Annnd a tub of macaroni salad.
In my early-mid twenties, I drank a lot and had a bunk bed. I didn't share the bunk bed, I just thought it was fun to have one.
Anyway, I really liked the top bunk, but hated getting up and climbing down it to pee in the middle of the night (because I drank too much). So I kept a Nalgene bottle on a shelf by the top bunk, and when I woke up I'd just unscrew the lid and pee in it. Sometimes I'd also keep a Nalgene bottle full of water up there to drink (no, this story isn't going there).
So I wake up in the middle of the night, drunk, and have to pee. I fumble around for the bottle, grab it and its upside down, unscrew the lid, and its the water bottle and I just dumped a quart of water all over the bed. Now the bed is cold and sopping wet, and I think to my self, completely earnest, "I wish I had just peed in the bed, that way it would be warm."
aibrah1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laziness is clearly an evolutionary trait. The lazier you are, the more efficient in conserving energy you will be. You call me lazy, I call myself more evolved!
Here is my example: the light switch is just out of reach of my bed. But who wants to get up to turn off the light? Not me! So I take my pillow and swat at the light switch until it turns off.
Another great attribute to being an effective lazy person, be the oldest sibling. I will call my younger siblings to bring me the remote, bring me food, etc. When they were much younger it worked wonderfully, but now that they're 18 and 16 it's a hit or miss. So now I will call them, fake a conversation for a minute or two, and then nonchalantly ask them to grab me the remote. Works wonderfully :)
Nberdy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
loooocas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a skateboard so I don't have to walk down the hall from my office to the lab I work in. It's like 100 ft.
My brother and I used to call the house phone whenever we were playing video games in the basement.. in hopes our mom would answer and bring us food. Mario Kart just gets so intense sometimes.
texasusa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
watch my g/f clean my house, run errands for me, pull me a beer while we are watching a movie, next step is to train her on running a lawn mower.
nate7181 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Forget to eat everytime my wife is outta town, end up getting sick everytime.
Too lazy to get up and close my bedroom door after my brother decided to come in my room and not close my door after leaving, I started throwing all my clothes around me at the door until it was close enough to being fully closed.
Rivwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've lived in my current apartment for almost a year now, and about a week or so ago I finally finished unpacking my clothes. Up until this point they were still stuffed in garbage bags from when I moved, and I just made it work with the ones I had unpacked already.
I still have boxes of things that I packed when I moved out of my Mom's house... almost 10 years ago. Those things will never be unpacked.
While in highschool I discovered that if I simply didn't clean my room for roughly two weeks, my dad would simply do it for me. No regrets.
4THOT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I started a project a month after it was due. Still got 100%
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i once was too lazy to give a fuck, so i gave a shit instead
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I woke up early when my brother (we share a room) was leaving, and my door was left open. I threw a series of rocks at my door until it closed, chipping all the paint
Sometimes my friend doesn't text me because he "didn't feel like lifting his fingers".
marko257 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
While reading this, I just tried to blow a hair off of my glasses accidentally spraying spit on them. I've read the last 5 comments and typed this through spit.
So basically, instead of making my vision better, I made it much worse...
PUTTY1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was lying in bed playing video games and I had to pee. But instead of walking over to the bathroom I pissed through the window right above my bed. I really didn't want to get up
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laziest thing I see people do is pushing the handicap button to open a door. YOU ARE NOT HANDICAP, OPEN THE FREAKING DOOR WITH YOUR HANDS. Aggravates the shit out of me every time I see someone do it.
Didn't want to call for pizza so had my brother, who had conveniently just come home after having a cross-country pizza party, order the pizza for me and pay for it at the door
Working at an answering service call center when I was a teenager, I once spent a good 15 minutes talking a caller into calling back during business hours because I didn't feel like typing a message that would have taken less than a minute
Clean laundry piled on the bed waiting to be folded - and by folded I mean piled back in the laundry basket - bed time, but too lazy to move the clothes, so end up sleeping on the pile of laundry like Smaug on his pile of treasure.
Another; blanket in the dryer all nice and warm and soft, but too lazy to walk downstairs, so use a towel as a blanket instead.
I pissed in a dixie cup next to my bed because I didn't want to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I didn't even have the excuse of being hungover, I just didn't want to get the fuck up.
ALARE1KS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a lad I let the dvd main menu loop continuously for roughly 9 (4 of which I was awake) hours after falling asleep on the couch because the remote was about 2 feet out of reach and the TV/DVD player had no auto-off feature.
I'm sure I am way too late for this thread but oh well. A couple of years ago, I got tired of getting out of bed to get on my computer to check email/facebook/twitter, ect in the morning so I bought a Mac Book Pro and have slept with it every night in bed ever since.
I ordered a dresser online from walmart for this school year. It arrived in September, and has been sitting unassembled in its box on the floor since. I just organize my clothes in piles on the floor in my room.
Had a jug to pee in when I broke my ankle because it was difficult to get up and go to the bathroom. Continued to use it well after my ankle healed and had my brother or sister empty it. Was 19.
Had a college roommate who fastened a tray onto an RC car for passing around things (remotes, beers, bongs...mostly bongs)
Orval ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up in my parents house, my room was in the basement for a few years.
Only problem was that the only light switch was at the top of the stairs.
I rigged up a pulley system using those little hook screws and some string so that I could turn the light on or off (two different strings/sets of hooks) from near my bed.
Toasted two slices of bread and slap them really quickly together around a slice of cheese to make grilled cheese. No it doesn't work very well but I am lazy
I sometimes will text my kid(s) to come to the living room and hand me the T.V. remote which is about 8 inches out of reach.
seriously
mismetti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dismissed girls I met online because they lived too far away
123whoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i don't feel like typing it all out
LazySumo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Played WoW at release and fell in love with warlocks. However, the warlock's (then) combat process was simply checking and reapplying a series of debuffs on enemies. Boring.
Naturally instead of simply continuing to press 5-6 different keyboard buttons I spent three months writing over 4,000 lines of code in LUA (which I had to teach myself) to automate this, thus reducing the whole damn thing to a single button press. "LazySumo's Lock Box" was hugely popular.
Whenever it's cold at home and my truck has frost on the windows I command start it like 20 minutes before I need to leave and if that doesn't cut it I hit the washer fluid 15 times to remove the frost so I can see. When I'm out of fluid I just drive with frosty windows cause scraping is too much work.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For me the laziness is tempting. My dishwasher broke a week ago (apartment maintenance still waiting on a motor from GE), and as the piles in my sink get bigger I've been thinking about just buying new dishes, silverware, etc. Right now it's at the point where I'm only washing what I need when I need it, and if I can somehow muster enough will to wash enough stuff to fill the drying rack, I won't dry any of it by hand. Evaporation, bitches
nguyenqh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my roommate regularly pees out the window which is directly above the entrance to our dorm. The bathroom is right across the hall from us.
Yesterday I got a call saying that the place I applied to work at for a pretty cool job wanted me back for a final interview.
I had to argue with myself because my default response was to ignore the call from them, even though this would be the first good thing I did to change my life since I graduated.
In the end, I did organize the interview, but I hate myself for having that gut reaction.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ate strawberries with the leaves on them because I was to lazy to take them off...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"I gotta pee... but that means I have to walk... guess I'm holding it for a while."
Late to the party, but I once woke up from a good 12 hour sleep, and badly needed to take a leak. But I also wanted to continue sleeping and not ruining it by going to the bathroom. So instead I removed my underwear to take some pressure off my bladder. Went back to sleep naked.
When my wife's cats vomit on the floor, I do not clean it up. What I do instead is summon our blind roomba-like dog to take care of it. He gets to snack on something he loves while I don't have to clean up the cat vomit.
When I was around 13 I had just gotten the Wii before xmas. I also got suspended from school the week prior. A huge snowstorm comes in and my parents trade me the Wii if I shovel the driveway. Instead of shoveling it I called a snowplow and didn't suffer through the cold. My parents weren't even mad, more astonished than anything.
My grandmother once called my brother to drive to the senior complex where her sister lived, to make sure she was okay since she had not answered her phone all day. He ordered a pizza and had it delivered to her address, because he was a) lazy and b) to afraid of finding a dead body. He's a nursing student. She wasn't dead, but definitely confused by the mystery pizza.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And you didn't credit, ouch!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't want to get out of bed to turn my ceiling fan off/on, so I tied one end of a long string to the beaded string and the other end to my bedpost. I'd lay in bed and simply grab the string to turn it off/on. I tripped over it countless times at night.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I moved in September 2012. I moved again in July 2013. I never unpacked from the September 2012 move.
I press 9-9 on the microwave when I need to heat something up for 90 seconds. I'm too lazy to move my finger from the 9 to the 0. I do this all the time.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is very common apparently
jeeb00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if this is laziness or OCD, but whenever I'm at a urinal, I flush before I'm finished, trying to time it just right so I can walk away with a perfectly-timed flush, reducing the seconds I have to spend standing in front of a urinal.
If that doesn't count, when I was a kid I used to try changing channels with a broom while lying on the couch if the remote was out of reach.
One day I was so hungover that I was throwing up every hour or so. I got tired of walking to the bathroom to throw up that I just fell asleep on the floor next to the toilet to wake up, throw up, and go back to sleep.
I've used the character map in windows to do Google searches with the mouse while lying on the couch because the keyboard was on the coffee table 6 inches out of reach.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this thread makes me feel really tired for some reason...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've put a straw in a can of beer before because I didn't want to have to tilt the can.
Stockz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So this happened to me, but I wasn't the lazy one. About ten years ago, my brother was in his room sitting on the edge of his bed. His tv and dvd player were on his dresser, which was just out of arm reach for him. He called me into his room and told me to turn both of them on. I said no, he pleaded a little bit, but I just walked away. He then got up, chased me, grabbed me, I'm pretty sure he punched me, and then forced me back into his room and demanded I turn his tv and dvd player on. He could have done it himself in two seconds by walking a foot so that he was within reach of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I throw blankets at my bedroom door until it shuts.
Phoned my brother on his cell phone, while he was in the basement, to come into the living room and get my pack of smokes and an ashtray from the endtable across the room from where I was laying... I'm not proud
Last night I was sitting at my desk in my sleeping bag and when I thought it was time to go to bed I just rolled off my chair and on to my bed and fell asleep.
One Saturday morning I didn't want to leave my room to go to the bathroom. So... being the creative 12 year old I was, I opened the window and pissed from the second story window into my backyard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
seriously contemplated getting a taxi to kfc, but gave up when i couldn't find my phone to order one
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest thing I've done was beginning to type out the laziest thing I've done, and then decided it was too much work.
CJ101X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I drop a pencil in class, I don't bother getting up to get it. I bend over, and, nearly parallel with the ground, grab it from underneath whoever's desk it rolled under. Happens all the time.
I have a friend who is so lazy (and he knows it) explained to me one time that he went to the fridge to get some orange juice but because it was behind the milk decided to drink milk instead rather than have to move it to get to the orange juice.
mozrila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a friends house and left to go home. My friend lived down the street, about 150 meters from my house, maybe 200 tops. The bus drove by just as I walked out his door so I took the bus home.
Laziness is more about the things I have not done.
tonenine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin is a former military diver. On a recreational dive he led, all I did was look at my air and sea creatures. I didn't think about bottom time, depth, direction, drift, location of the boat, kick cycles none of that, just my air and looking at fish, it was sick!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not the laziest, but coolest.
I was in bed and wanted to turn the lights off too sleep. So I took off my socks and tossed it at the switch. Went off at first try.
Now I have a pile off socks lying under my light switch and a pile off crusty socks beside my bed.
ArkBass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sundays Are usually my off days. So I keep fruits, beef jerky, snacks and water bottles all within arms reach, and stay in bed all day......I also try to limit my peeing to a maximum of two times by holding it in till I can't anymore. #judgeyourmon
dELUXE- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Late, but I once sat a whole 3 day weekend in the same position playing Runescape so long it hurt. No showers, didn't brush my teeth, ate one piece of pizza. I think I peed two or three times. Mining got to 80 though.
not me, but my brother. in his primitive years, he tied yarn around things in his room he didn't want to have to move to activate. things that fell victim to his young genius included light switches, ceiling fan pulls, and his door knob. he would sit in his bed like a fat cat reading or doing other 10 year old activities and just command his room with a few pulls of yarn.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like to masturbate with basketball shorts on by firmly grabbing my penis and basically masturbating with the fabric. It makes you last longer, so you can enjoy your session, leaves no mess to clean up, and will be completely dry after you wake up from your nap.
Too lazy to go through my mail when it comes. I pay the water bill when they shut the water off (about every three months). The water company is just down the hill from my house. I could actually stop there anytime to pay whatever I owe. It would save me the hassle of writing a check, finding an envelope and stamp, and stopping to put it in the outgoing mail, but I'm even too lazy to stop by there until I have to. Have also left some good sized checks in unsorted mail until they went stale-dated and I couldn't deposit them. Could ask the company to issue another one, but that would take effort.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I got a nosebleed in the middle of the night but was too tired to get up. So I just went back to sleep and woke up the next morning with a nice pool of blood around my face.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pee in the god damn sink!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just remembered another. It's kinda a life hack/lazy combo
My first truck didn't have cruise control so I used to just jam an old baseball bat between the gas and the seat.
If I needed to slow down, because of a cop, or some asshat not going the speed limit...I'd just clutch
Keeping your foot depressed for an entire roadtrip...aint nobody got time for that
One time, I was eating a pizza out of the box on my couch because I didn't want to do dishes. Later on, I wanted to masturbate but the box was in the way. I just kicked it of the couch and fapped anyway.
stokvis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just a few days ago, i received a deliver order from a lady. when the food was ready and the deliveryman arrived to the address provided, he tried contacting the customer. the customer must have provided a google voice number, so instead i tried contacting the hotel she was staying at. after about 10-15 mins of the deliveryman waiting outside in freezing weather, the lady called wondering where her order is. i told her that the deliveryman has been waiting outside for almost half an hour for her to pick up the order. instead of coming down to pick up the order herself, she instead tells me to instruct my deliveryman to leave the food at the reception desk.
So, i told the deliveryman to just leave the food at the desk, but the hotel people there denied him entry, so now he has been standing outside for almost 40 mins in freezing weather. i got really angry at the lady's incompetence, so i called the deliveryman back and refunded the order.
TL;DR: Customer ordered food, didn't even bother to pick up the food herself, ended up letting the deliveryman waiting for almost an hour outside in freezing weather.
My mom bought me some curtains one time because I've always begged for some because my room is on the east side of the house. I've had them for about a year now, I've been to lazy to clean my room and move the table that's next to my window so I can hang them up
I use my iPad find my iPhone to find my iPhone in the morning when I wake up and my phone fell of my bed into a crevice between my bed and the wall. It freaks me out to be without a phone.
Hate doing laundry. Washed only the essentials (jeans and bras) very infrequently and kept buying new underwear and tops ... this went on for over a year. Dirty laundry pile took up over half my room ... asked my mom to do my laundry for my birthday. She did.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Grew up in earthquake country. When I went off to college there was a ~5.0 magnitude earthquake during the night. I woke up to windows shaking in the frames. I looked up at the bare lightbulb above me, determined that it wasn't that big of an earthquake and pulled the blanket back over my head and went back to sleep.
One day when I was still in college... I was laying on my couch watching football. I realized I was thirsty, but not thirsty enough to get up and grab something out of the fridge. I laid there for about an hour until my thirst overcame me. Unfortunately, my laziness was more powerful. I looked around me to see what I could find. I noticed a cup sitting on the coffee table next to my roommates chair. The cup had been sitting there for two days. I looked inside of it to see what it was. Milk... I drank the milk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Took the first job offer because I really don't give a fuck. Work is going to suck either way. I also always date the first girl that obviously likes me because who cares it's all pretty much the same feelings and drama and pussy.
ATHEoST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have been sleeping on just my mattress with one comforter for a couple months because I am too lazy to go wash my sheets and put them on my bed. So now I rely on my dog to lie on my comforter to keep it from falling off of me during the night
I'd love to tell you but i'm too lazy,maybe tommorow
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is my kind of question. I was hungry, I hadn't eaten in 3 days, and I didn't reach for the sandwich that my mom put on a paper towel on my stomach. Nope, too far.
Another example, I got someone to put the footstool above me, it has a hole in it, and ran a few straws together from my drink into my mouth. Liquid is pulled up by suction, and down by gravity. No movement required.
One of my college roommates was known for leaving someones bedroom and leaving their door open. So I tied a string to the doorknob, and hung hooks from the ceiling, and made the string end next to my bed. That way I could just yank it closed and go to bed without ever getting up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My room was a mess, but didn't feel like picking up all of my clothes. So, for a month, I would wear clothes on the floor that smelled okay and weren't stained and, when I undressed for the night, would hang the ones I wore back up or throw them in the laundry basket.
One time I was very drunk and the living room was too comfortable to abandon, so I made a makeshift bathroom on the balcony of my apartment. It consisted of a wooden IKEA chair with no seating panel on it and an old mop bucket. Believe it or not, it took me less time to assemble this contraption than it would have taken to jiggle my way to the restroom.
One of the managers uses a long hand grabby thing to pick things up off the ground instead of actually picking it up. He tries to justify it by says germs but he doesn't wash his hands after using the public bathroom in the store (another manager told me), son we dismissed his justification and say he is just lazy and doesn't want to bend over to pick up things off the floor...
The Xbox Ones kinect would recognize my voice to stop Netflix so I could watch switch to the TV and watch The Walking Dead. The Xbox one remote sits about 1 ft away from me but I was to comfy on my couch to move. I then watched How I Met Your Mother for 3 straight hours.
xiqat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would throw banana peels out the windows instead of the garbage can in the kitchen.
I ordered a pizza in a restaurant. When 30 minutes later the pizza was still not served, I called the restaurant to ask when my pizza would be ready...
Suzgy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My phone fell off my bed when it started ringing. I was too tired to get it and started sleeping. I skipped school because of that, but it was so worth it; 19 hours of sleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. And it was everything I would've hoped it to be.
yaroto98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I come from a big family (5 siblings) one day I really wanted cookies.
I approached one sister who I knew really liked mixing and making cookie dough and told her that if she made the dough I'd get them spooned out and baked. (see how carefully I worded it?)
I bet you can see where this was going...
I then approached another sister who was just laying around reading a book and asked her if I got cookie dough made would she bake them. I convinced her by saying she could just read in the kitchen and then have a tasty snack too!
In the end they both figured out what I did, everybody got cookies, but that was the only time I was able to use that trick.
whenever i change places where i sit in my room, i migrate everything i might use with me so i wont have to get up again. its like i have my own cult of inanimate objects
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How sad is it that I read these posts and they seem inspirational?
8668 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my bachelor days my roommate and I spent all our money on booze and drugs. Ran out of toilet paper quite often so we'd just shit then get right in the shower.
Or just shit in the shower
I once watched a fox and friends marathon because I was too lazy to pick the remote up off my beer gut and change the channel. Then it fell off my belly and on the floor, aka no mans land....
Primalx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is a little late and was done by my friend. He woke up at 6 to get to his retail job 7. When he got there, he couldn't clock in so he went home.
Gonz024 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I downloaded an app that lets me control my pc from my cell phone so i don't have to walk over to my computer to download movies.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I was hungover one morning and wasn't going to get up for anything. I started to puke so I grabbed my bedroom trash can, puked in it, cleaned my face with a t-shirt, and then threw both the t-shirt and the trashcan away. /r/Frugal would hate me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My TV is to my left and my PC screen in front of me. Sometimes I switch programs (like Twitch) to my TV screen and swing my chair round to the left so I face the TV. Usually I end up browsing on my PC screen if the Twitch content gets a bit boring, which creates the problem of my left hand is now swung to the left side so I can't reach my keyboard to type but my right hand is still comfortably on the mouse. So I open up the on-screen keyboard so I can use it to search on google with my mouse instead of having to type. Using just my right hand to type is too slow so that's definitely out of the question, I need both hands.
I literally have to swing my chair to the right using one foot to correct this problem, but I'm too lazy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I never finish anythi
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My first 40 hr/wk job was a data entry position in the late 90's. I was tasked with copying email metadata out of emails and into a data entry screen for trial discovery. I wrote an app to do it using VB6 / OLE Automation. I milked it for a few weeks then showed it to my boss.
peed on a towel in my closet cuz i would have to put on close so I could walk to the bathroom. I didn't even get out of my desk chair.
loco64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My computer is in my bedroom and I got up before the alarm went off. I started playing a game and then the alarm started going off. I decided to put on headphones because I didn't feel like getting up. Room is 14x12 I believe.
Sometimes I just don't want to be a part of the living world, eating, talking, pooping, ect, so some weekends I will go to sleep on Fri night, and not wake up until about lunch time on Sun. I love it.
xiqat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
every time I'm sick I usually choose lying in bed in hunger than actually getting up to eat. I'd rather slowly fall asleep hungry than get up to make myself food...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well last week I was really hungry but I didn't feel like cooking, so I thought I'd order takeout. Sat down on my chair and proceeded to not order anything and instead go without food for the rest of the night:
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted to play WarCraft 3. Didn't want to walk two feet to grab the CD. Downloaded it instead.
runofthe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a girl who would call her boyfriend to come over and microwave popcorn for her. I did her. Ergo, she is the laziest thing I've done.
Hold your applause, just throw money.
kasarap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
paypal'd my cousin $20 to come to my house and answer the door for when papa johns delivered my cheesy garlic bread and bring it up to me while i watched tv
Made a conscious decision to purchase an Xbox 360 when I heard the remotes would not only be wireless, but would power on the game system. I could sit on my couch, pick up a remote, boot the system and be playing without getting up. This was back in 2003 or so, when details of the new Xbox system were starting to come out.
Two baskets of clean, folded laundry are downstairs in my laundry room. In the morning I just put on clothes from those baskets, and wash the dirty ones, repeating the process. All because I don't want to carry the baskets upstairs.
Manisbug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just threw out 2 mugs and a bowl because I didn't feel like cleaning them.
The house I grew up in had a weird set up. My room was the original Master, but the previous owners extended on it, so there was a bathroom in my room and it connected to the hallway and the other room. My parents had to walk through my room to go to the bathroom since they lived in the addition. Anyway, I used to get up and pea out of the window rather than walk to the bathroom. I don't know why, but fuck the bathroom, the window was exhilarating. I'm sure my parents saw me some time and just didn't say anything.
smori088 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I went to work my boyfriend stayed in bed and had a cold. Didn't want to get Kleenex on the dresser so he blew his nose in his sock. He got hungry so he went out for food and wore said socks. When he got back he didn't feel like getting a napkin (he bought wings) so he used the same sock again to wipe his hands and mouth.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time when I was living alone I hosted a huge dinner party. I made pasta with Alfredo sauce, pasta and meatballs in a tomato sauce, chicken Marsala, and a whole bunch of other messy shit. My guests offered to do my dishes but being a nice host I politely declined the help. Fast forward 3 months later and I still have a mountain of crusty and moldy dishes, pots, and pans. It was about that time I decided it was best to just throw them all out and buy new pots and pans another 3 months later.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: mountain of dishes in the sink
chanty1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Listen to "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But in that song, he actually isn't that lazy at all, he ends up doing a lot of shit.
zsebmod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't had a curtain on my window like for ~2 years because I was lazy to mount up, i'd rather turn down the light in my room at night.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to instant message a college friend of mine. He lived in the dorm across the hall. We could see each other typing.
Once I was too lazy to properly feed myself so I ate nothing but oatmeal for a week. I microwaved the stuff in the microwave with water, but that was the extant of my effort.
I had to do an ER visit. After the fact, I didn't feel like faxing in my health insurance info which would have reduced my bill from $800+ to $150 or less. I never paid my hospital bill so it went to collections and has been ravaging my credit score ever since.
This thread is probably dead and it wasn't my laziness but one of my old roommates in college. We were both in the same frat so we had pledges who would come over every other night and clean our apartment. Usually just 1, or 2 if we were lucky.
So it's about 6pm and my roommate makes ground beef. Literally a plate of just ground beef, because you know... college. So he eats like 1/3 of it and accidentally drops the plate on the floor spilling his greasy ground beef in a nice fat pile. So, naturally I'm thinking, "He's going to clean that up." Wrong!! He sat there until I told him something along the lines of, "Dude WTF clean that shit up!" To which he responds, ".....I was gonna wait for the pledges" They weren't going to be there for another 4 or 5 hours.
Well i do this all the time but when im done playing my ps3 i shut it off using the remote but my tv is still on so i wait for it to automatic shut off 10 minutes later. My tv remote is usually 3 feet away from me..
Ordered a pizza to get some soda. I lived across the street from a grocery store.
coryeyey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am at my computer when I receive a text message. I have facebook open on my computer but in a different tab. Instead of clicking on the tab I open up facebook on my phone. Stuff like this happens intellectually every day for me.
I got sick on myself and all over my pillow. Didn't want to get up so just turned over and slept on non puky side.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was on computer on bed. Room was freezing, so I went to my closet and put on a coat instead of turning on the heat which was 3 feet further to walk.
casos92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my roommate. Back when we were living in the dorms he made mac and cheese without leaving his seat. This involved using one of those grabbers for old people to grab the mac and cheese from under his bed, turn on the water, fill up mac and cheese cup, open the microwave, place the cup in the microwave, set the time, and grab it out of the microwave. He did all that using a grabber.
WeymoFTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college, one night, I peed out the window because we didnt have a screen. I didn't feel like walking to the bathroom. Wound up falling bsckwards and peeing all ovee my roommates bed. If had fallen forward I wouldn't be here. I was on the fourth floor..
RedMarz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just payed 5 dollars so I brother washes the dishes.
I leave a dollar on the fridge with a note "for whoever washes the small black pot." It's a good way to avoid fights with roommates while maintaining extreme laziness.
Took woodshop class during the second half of my senior year in high school. Most of the big projects would just be left in the hall outside of the shop room for awhile once they were finished. Made a nice bench out of cedar for my parents backyard for my first project. Decided not to do a second project and slept on that bench everyday until graduation. Teacher didn't say a word about it.
It's not that lazy compared to a lot of these, but sometimes I decide I don't want to go to the main desk in my house to sharpen my pencils, so I will just grab a knife and the pencil from my desk in my room and shave it down to sharpen it. My house is a 1 story and the desk area is pretty much a total of 20 steps away. I've done this more than once.
I have a string attached to my light switch so I can turn my light off from in my bed. I've done this in all 3 of my rooms
peepjynx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Texting my boyfriend, who is right behind me at his computer,( because I didn't want to get up and/or take my headphones off... ) asking for more tea.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late but whatever.
So I was in bed and I had yelled to my mom to ring me a glass of water. She forgot and so I called to home phone and quickly hung up. Since she was up, she got the glass of water
Was in my basement watching tv wanting to go on my computer, which was upstairs, so I used an app on my phone to control my computer to put the computer's display on the tv so I wouldn't have to go upstairs
I had a gig that night and instead of getting my bands CD from the case and running through the songs I torrented our album and played along to a bootleg of our new song on YouTube.
My roommates and I one year had a terrible case of who should take out the trash. So in order to determine who should take it out we came up with trash-jenga. By piling trash after the can was full, the person who causes the tower of trash to fall has to take out it out. The funny thing is, the place to put the trash bags was just 20 feet down the hall.
gateboy6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my room mate in college was obsessed with the TV. He would skip class and just sit and watch stupid shit; judge judy, tennis, what ever was on at 1:00pm. Me and my other room mates got tired of the fact that we could never watch tv in between classes or listen to the radio (this was before smart phones/tablets/laptops/ipods), so we hid the remote from him and great fun was had at his expense. He spent hours over the next three days frantically looking for the remote. He tore the couch apart more times than I can count, the kitchen cabinets, closets, all to no avail. Eventually he conceded defeat, and took one of our kitchen chairs and moved it a foot in front of the tv, so that he could continue to channel chase.
I have done some lazy things but, so have many of you. My unique lazy thing is also pretty unhealthy. There are these biscuits in Australia known as Arrowroots. Traditionally, they are eaten with a little butter spread on one side. I was to lazy to spread (real) butter so I put it in a small bowl then in the microwave and softened it up. With the biscuits, I then used the soft butter as a dip.
Rutawitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
didnt feel like moving my left hand from holding up my head to type so i open up virtual keyboard with my mouse
man4241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't go finish a essay because it was a floor up and so very far away. Needless to say I didn't do so well in that class.
Cuzzins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to keep a 10 foot pole next to my bed so I wouldn't have to get up to turn the lights off.
built a gun out of k'nex to kill the lights whenever I wanted to sleep..
BasiKs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My apartment is right next to the laundry room, and I hate folding laundry. Did a load on Sunday, too lazy to fetch from dryer. Wednesday rolls around and my girlfriend is pestering me to get the load from three days ago. Fine, fine... I get up and open our front door, hear someone open the dryer, immediately about-face and close the door again. Girlfriend just laughs.
Probably not my laziest moment, but one of the more shameful.
In high school my best friend and I had to do a project for our science class that consisted of visiting an aquarium and writing a report about it. I really did not feel like going so I went on google and searched some pictures of people at an aquarium. I happened to find a blog where this girl posted a whole album of her trip to the aquarium. I took those photos, photoshopped my best friend in a few of them and left the rest as is. During the presentation I told my teacher that the girl was my cousin. We got a 90
Furya94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wash myself with napkins instead of a shower sometimes
A few months ago, I ate a piece of gooey butter cake for breakfast because it was already in a Styrofoam bowl in the fridge. It was delicious, and no dishes.
spiscit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I used the finglonger!!!
Above is more of a TL;DR. The story is as follows:
My light switch in my bedroom is on the opposite wall of my bed's headboard. Every night I would be on Reddit in bed (either laptop/phone) and be to tired or too lazy to turn off the light. I used every method but most were unsuccessful. Then one saturday after lying in bed for a couple hours I walked outside to the apartment complex being built across my street and grabbed a long wooden pole when the workers weren't looking. I then went home and pondered how I was going to sand my pole ( Thatswhatshesaid ) and then ordered from a local Chinese restaurant and paid the guy an extra 30$ to go down the street to a hardware store and have it sanded. Now I keep it stuck in my ceiling fan (at an angle that it is caught between the fan blade and the ceiling and doesn't fall) which i never use so i can easily access it with minimal limb movement. Also: it failed the first few tries so i decided that it needed a larger object on the end to smack things. I then took a traveling pillow (the closest thing to me at the time) and some masking tape and voila! my ghetto finglonger is born!
My dad gave me a Rubikโs cube and told me to solve it. I broke it apart with a screwdriver and reassembled it solved.
BigZ7337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I found myself always on the computer, and when I went to buy something I'd never have my wallet handy. To avoid having to get up and search for it, I memorized all of my credit card numbers. Also, I was always annoyed having to go to my router to let people know the code for my router when they're visiting. So I memorized the whole code as well (it's some random thing since I never bothered to put in a different easier to remember code). I've actually memorized a lot of different things out of laziness.
SiLiZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Kykilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on the couch and my chipotle burrito was sitting about a foot away from my face on the coffee table. Instead of picking it up with my hands and taking a bite, I just rolled forward, bit off a chunk, and then rolled back in place. I continued to do this for the rest of the burrito.
In college, instead of doing the mountain of dishes in the sink, I tossed them all in a garbage bag and threw it down the stairs.
cdlrosa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm kind of fat. Sometimes when I come to a door that needs to be pushed open, if no one is watching, I'll push it open with my gut rather than expending the energy to lift my arms and push it open with my hands.
In college, I peed the bed. Didn't wash my sheets the entire year and slept on the same spot once it dried. Beer piss is pretty clear and it's sterile right? Writing this out I realize I might be the laziest most awful person ever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not finishing this sent
d4m4s74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When gaming, to avoid having to go to the bathroom I just wear diapers.
Was awake on my computer at my desk. Too lazy to walk to my bed. Stayed awake.
omgmrj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a system administrator, I can't count the number of times I spent way too long troubleshooting a problem with SSH/RDP/iLO, just so I wouldn't have to walk the 20 feet over the the physical server to do something.
I just realized how NOT lazy I am after reading these.
cecstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once made KD but I didn't have any clean bowls so I ripped the box in half and lined it with tin foil. Also didn't have any butter or milk so I used raspberry jam as sauce lubricant. It was not successful in a delicious way.
When i was a small kid i would flip to my side and pull down my pants and point my penis to a towel and pee into that. My bathroom is literally 2 feet from my door.
niraen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i VNC'd through my phone to my laptop which was 2 metres away to enable utorrent remote so I could use utorrent from my phone to download without stretching more than a metre .
I wanted to jerk off, but I was too lazy to get up and get a tissue, so I just jerked off and when I busted, I took my sock off and wiped it up with that. Then I was too lazy to clean the sock myself and not have the lady at the laundrymant think I'm a freal so I threw it in the garbage.
i have a sock bin, too lazy to match socks and put them together so i dump them all in my bin. Works great and saves a lot of time if you dont mind wearing mismatch socks everyday. The same goes for silverware, and tshirts
My buddy and i lost the remote to the tv so him and I looked around for objects we can poke the tv with to change the channel. We decided to keep a fishing pole next to the couch until he moved
I usually do my laundry/bedding at night, because I'm busy all day.
There have been many times where I've done my sheets laundry at night and was too lazy to make my bed again afterwards and just brought my sleeping bag out of my closet and slept in it on top of my bare mattress with a pillow and made my bed the next day.
I was laying in bed and dropped the remote just out of my reach, so I spent the next ten minutes trying to throw the blanket on top of it and drag it to me.
Consumed a 2 litre tub of ice cream (I'm allergic as well by the way) so that I didn't have to take it downstairs to the freezer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:20 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
therobe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That ain't lazy that's just disgusting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:33 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me and a friend were playing Battlefield 3 and we spawned at a base that had no vehicles and the nearest bomb was over 400m away and we decided to sit and not run because it would take to much time.
Mrs_C_W ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:18 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Let's see...
I sat on my bed for 6 hours thirsty later having to pee. My drink was 5 feet away.
My fiancรฉ brought me breakfast one morning and I continued to eat it laying down when I was thirsty instead of sitting up I put the cup on the floor and leaned over to drink it. I have a futon so it's low.
BaconXL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted a late night fast food run with friends, sent my friend out since I was too lazy to get off the couch. When they came back and I finished eating I realized they forgot the napkins. The receipt was taped to my packaging so I just used that wipe my mouth.
Today I was supposed to have a packaged delivered, and instead of going downstairs to see if it was on the porch, I just kept refreshing the tracking website until it said delivered.
Laying in bed, I needed a tissue... I wiped my nose on my pillow, turned it over and fell back asleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman year of college we didn't have a washer/dryer in our apartment. Being that we're socially awkward and anxious, the laundromat was a severe hassel. Our record for not doing laundry was three months.
Back in the WOW days, a couple of friends and I would bring our gaming rigs to another friends house. His name was frank. Well Frank's room was located above the detached garage a good ways away from the main house. He once figured out that it was less steps walking to his car then to go inside. So what did he do? Jump in the car and drive himself to get drinks/food. After 5+ hours of raiding dungeons, he didnt want to disturb his sleeping parents. it made sense at the time.
Once i had a pressure cooker and a separate rice cooker so that i could make curry in the pressure cooker and rice in the rice cooker. One day i make curry, decide its not that great and keep it on the slab which is right next to the kitchen sink and the trash can. Every single day i would go into the kitchen look at the cooker and just leave it there. A few weeks down the line i make a little too much rice in the rice cooker and decide that i will throw it since i wont be using it. Now, the slab next to the sink already has the other cooker with the curry i made 2 weeks ago still sitting there. So i decide to keep the rice cooker with the rice to be thrown in one half of my kitchen sink. I still have the other half to wash my glasses and cereal bowls etc. Now 2 months pass on and i can barely enter the kitchen with the rice cooker completely covered with fungus. The other cooker with the curry thankfully has been tightly closed and i don't dare open it to see what creature has started living in there. So i decide finally that i will open my trash compartment right below the sink and place both the rice and pressure cookers there thinking that i will throw it the next time i take out the trash. Its been nearly three months after that happened and i have taken out my trash at least 10 times and i still haven't thrown the fungus infected cookers under my sink.
Also, a new rice and pressure cooker set will set me back by about 60$ which is not a big deal. For the past 4 and some months i have not cooked dinner or lunch at home and have been eating out daily or if i am too lazy to go out, just sit at home and think about the times i had my cookers!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:30 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I often get stuck in thought loops, where I just sit and not move for an hour or two, while thinking about a topic first, then start to zoom out and I only realize the time having flown by by randomly looking at my alarm clock.
Most of the instances where I cut actions short is because I don't have the energy to do certain things like going out or call someone.
I also thought about learning Shorthand so I don't need to write so much on my sticker posts, I instead started to memorize the stuff.
CJ090 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just today, the LT tells me to open a hatch and I want to verify nobody is standing on it so instead of running topside to check I use the periscope to look at the hatch top
methshin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:19 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't want to put on socks, pulled pants down and walled with my feet inside them.
I designed and built a system of pullies so that I could open the door to my dorm room from my desk. Literally a distance of four feet, max.
Dude0720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:57 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Two minutes ago I didn't post on this thread...but then I came back...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:13 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote the essay required for my graduation of high school the night before it was due. We have to do a "product" too, so I kinda did that, still haven't completely finished it. I made the presentation that I would present to the class for constructive criticism in about an hour...
Ok so procrastination isn't really that lazy. I'm in the top 10 of my class so it works for me.
Laziest thing I've ever done is probably get a days worth of food when I woke up to pee in the morning so I could just stay in bed and not have to get up for anything.
I only fold my socks in winter. Shirts don't get folded just thrown in a basket because I'm wearing a jacket over it so I'm not worried about wrinkles.
Im in a chair that easily rolls across hardwood floors. I had a paper due the next day and it turns out I am 1 ft away from reaching my computer keyboard. Instead of rolling that 1ft I break out my wireless keyboard. The only catch were that some keys on the keyboard were missing, specifically the i,o,m,g,and h keys. I say screw it and write the 10 page paper with out any of those letters.
My college has a free student restaurant that is 5 minutes away from my apartment on foot. Last summer I had no money to buy/order something to eat and was too bored to go there for dinner so I just skipped dinner for 2 weeks straight.
puckhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:08 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once called my friend's little sister to come down to my house just to close the refrigerator that I had forgotten to close.
To get onto netflix on the 360 I would go to apps and than scroll down to netflix.Got informed you can just go onto recent on the front page and get to netflix in less movements.I've done it since.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:59 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:12 on December 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was on a long board today going way to fast. Stayed on instead of trying to get off. Figured it would get me down the road faster. Ended up scraping myself a lot worse than if I had tried to get off when I first could tell I was getting out of control.
i record hip hop artists/bands in my spare time for a little extra cash, and i ended a recording session halfway through it. I ended it because i was leaning all the way back in my super-reclining office chair, and didn't want to lean forward far enough to be able to touch my keyboard and mouse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:43 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Let's see...
My light switch is barely out of reach from the end of my bed (that I never feel like getting out of) so I usually flick shirts at it like they're whips until I turn it on/off.
I will try to pick stuff up off the floor with my feet (and probably spend a good minute or two trying) because I don't feel like taking two seconds and bending down to get it. Half the time it doesn't work and I have to bend down and pick it up anyway.
I know there's more but I'm too lazy to think of any.
I used to yell out for my younger sister who was around 8 at the time, there were times where she would come up a flight of stairs to find me reading at which point I would ask if she was thirsty... then I would just ask her to go get me a drink and a snack because I'm to lazy to dance around the real issue. She'd come back, find a place to put it all, then leave... it was great
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:00 on March 18, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Occasionally, when the dishes began to smell and I didn't want to wash them, I would spray them with febreze.
once I woke up in the middle of the night and had to pee, so I just bunched up my sheet in between my legs and told myself I'd just wash it in the morning
armanox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:39 on March 28, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a very lazy PC gamer, so lazy that I would pee in an empty soda bottle and leave it under my desk. I managed to pile up to 3 pee-bottles this way.
Was taking a piss during a party at my house. while realizing i had a house full of people and not wanting to kick them out, finished pissing, and fell asleep on the floor of my bathroom because walking out of their to bed was too far
Peed in my bed, because I was too sleepy to go to the bathroom.
And then, stayed with the same boxers the whole morning until my mom forced me to take a bath.
hadini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:28 on April 11, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
One day, I
fkmfkm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:12 on April 11, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
once my whole family went to Hawaii for 2 days and i didn't wanna come
so i was left alone in my house. too lazy to get out of bed, didn't ate till my family came back.
smithl2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:13 on April 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
my mum bought pre-grated cheese, rather than buy a block of cheese and use our electric cheese-grater to grate it.
Late to the party, very very late but my brother was lying in bed and his door was open, he called our mam(mom) who was in the kitchen and asked her to come down to him for something important, he just told her to close the door.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:42 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this thread just made me feel lazy.
stcypdx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:43 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I love this story because my dad was 3rd in command of the battleship New Jersey and it could've been him.. Except he's a total morning person..but this is my favorite reddit story ever! >Edit: Reddit loves to pee in stuff
I put my clean clothes back in my laundry basket to carry them back to my dorm room. From there on out I throw my dirty clothes on the floor until i'm out (literally).
Repeat.
Trade-off? 2 inch thick shirt carpet for awhile.
I buy 64 oz Gatorade bottles so i can pee in it when i dont feel like going to the bathroom thats 4 feet away from my room
Thetek9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:12 on May 23, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Its not me... but my brother as a child was too lazy to wipe his own ass. So after he was done shitting, he would scream for our younger sister to come "wipe his bum."
Smailien ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:56:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have one of those instant-hot supplies on your shower or something? I'd have to stand their naked in a cold bathroom for about 20-30 seconds waiting for frigid water to even clear the shower line before hopping in. I could have been done by then.
TyQuil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live across the street from a large supermarket.
I needed to buy more than an armload of groceries, so I got in my car and drove across the street just so I wouldn't have to walk across traffic with lots of heavy bags.
bennyha1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
well thats just smart
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just steal a grocery cart? Walk it across the street, then walk it home
Just make sure you don't get one with the Wonky Wheel
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called my mom from my room when I was about 15, and she was in her room, across the hall, maybe 100 feet away at most. I called her from my cellphone, to the homephone, and asked her to bring me food because I was hungry. It worked.
Instead of going to my brothers bedroom which is next door to mine, I called our house phone from my cell phone, causing him to get up and go down the hallway and pick up the phone for me to ask him to turn off my tv.
I recently spent half an hour googling makeshift bottle openers and fashioning anything within arm's reach into one, so I didn't have to get up and go to the kitchen to open my cider.
Pissed in the kitchen sink multiple times to avoid having to go upstairs to the bathroom (don't tell mum pls).
eckho28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:30 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once in Freshman year of Undergrad, I had an Econ exam, and was too lazy/tired to get out of bed to go to class and take it (I lived in the dorms and the class was on the other side of campus). However, after about 10 mins, I decided I didn't want to fail the class and retake it so I dragged my lazy ass out of bed, got dressed, got my stuff, and got in my car to go. When I got to the other side of campus, the closest parking lot to my class was full, so I went back to my dorm and got back into bed.
well... I should just post a picture of my apartment.... I'd have everyone in this thread beat hands fucking down... but I'm too lazy. Anyway the outcome of my laziness is this: it has finally gotten to the point where my apartment is so disgusting that the cleaning woman that (long ago) used to clean my apartment came to give me an estimate of what it would take to clean today... she said "I'll do it for $500.00 and not a dime less." She's scheduled for this Saturday morning. I'll gladly pay it. I live in filth. -- edit: it should be noted that I live in a one bedroom apartment that is maybe 600 square feet.
Well, it's exams weeks and I'm here. Not studying. So yeah I got that going for me, which is nice.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had to piss, too damn tired to get up and blind myself with the bathroom light, knowingly piss myself in my damn bed on the sheets. Fall asleep within seconds. Wake up, discover that I really like the smell of pee, it helps me sleep.
jcpworker ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
1 in a water bottle next to my bed because the bathroom is all the way upstairs.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My DVD player will skip from time to time, probably about 3 or 4 times during a movie. All you have to do it tap the top of it and it'll go back to normal, but that requires getting up off the couch. So I keep a few small objects like erasers and pens to throw at it when it skips so I don't have to move.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:28 on January 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
in 2008 I quit my job
willingly went to live on the streets of LA (I already lived there my whole life)
I ran away to seattle in 2009,
got my mum to send me a meager allowance to eat
while I stayed inside All day reading and listenting to music
took a greyhound back to LA in 2012 hoping the world would end in dec 2012
it didn't.
its now 2014 and I still haven't gotten a job,
I still read, paint and listen to music (and Reddit at the Library)
I used to always throw things from my bed to my desk when I was laying down and didn't feel like getting up. One time I threw a bottle opener, it fell behind my desk, hit the switch on my power strip, and simultaneously turned off my TV, computer, cable box, and fish tank lights. I realized that the universe was punishing me for my laziness and now I get up to put things on my desk. I do still throw a pillow at my light switch every night to turn it off though.
Went 2 days without eating, just lying in bed. Only got out to walk the 5m to the bathroom. Didn't shower, just nature calls. Too lazy to eat, because kitchen was downstairs. I had also just downloaded some series that I hadn't seen before.
Apexe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:56:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time i was in my bedroom and I had forgotten that I left my sandwich on my drumset. I didn't want to walk all the way to get it so
Ryiiian ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:44:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a research paper due in 2 days but I am going on a mini vacation and have to hand it in a day early. I haven't picked a topic yet, I'm on reddit. : / Tomorrow..
shlamon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:18:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
bonsaipc ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:44:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Left the 2 liter bottle by my bed because the fridge was too far away, then I had to piss and the bathroom was definitely too far away, so I pissed in the bottle
Volsunga ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:46:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wrote a short macro that did my job for me back when I did data entry.
profanic ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:48:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
gotta say all these are classic...i guess .one. of mine is grabbing the TV remote off the coffee table or floor with my feet.
Bathroom was down the hall in my dormitory, but my room had a sink in it. Once, I really had to go bad and the bathroom was occupied, so I just pissed in the sink.
After that, only went to the bathroom when I had to take a shit.
It's 3:30 AM, I have a Chem test at 8:00 AM, and I'm laying here eating oreos and reading Reddit, having studied for a total of about 20 minutes. And this isn't even the laziest thing I've done this week.
The only thing I can think of was one morning when I was still in bed, I called my parents (who were downstairs) from my phone to see what time I had to get up to go to whatever we were doing that day.
I shit my pants while simultaneously while peeing down my leg so I didn't have to go to the toilet. I shook the turds down my leg on top of the cat so they stuck to it's hair. I had a bible close so I eventually wiped my ass with pages from it (the only good use of the bible). I ran out of zigzags so ripping pages from the bible to roll with was an added bonus.
I once played some Doom instead of doing a report. Then when I was in Doom I was too lazy to do the levels properly so I noclipped through half the game.
Meant to grab my phone and wallet from upstairs before leaving, grabbed 4 chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen instead. Decided to drive away with no belongings whatsoever. Worked out though cuz I left my bag with everything in my car the night before because
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:10:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Read a full 850+ page novel while having gastro on the toilet.
Me and my housemates didn't want to cook on a friday night, so we decided to get a take out.
I was ordering online and was talking to all of them through Facebook, finding out what they want to eat.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:47:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend is asking me to post this on his behalf because he doesn't want to have to log in
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:58:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not show up to this thread until it's in the 5k range. Ugh, so much lost karma that I don't care about.
wsaadman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:09:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying down on my bed, bored as f*ck so i decided to play some Uncharted 2. I picked up the controller from the shelf next to my bed, turned my playstation on... and then i realised that in order to play the game i would have to actually get up and put the disc into my console.
I turned everything off, and went back to sleep.
My mom is the lazy one. My room is in the basement, while the rest of the family lives upstairs. So whenever my mom wants to tell me something or ask me something SHE CALLS ME instead of walking down the stairs to talk.
Sukiii ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:27:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I stay up for 24+ hours because I'm too lazy to sleep
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:48:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty late, but I may just take the cake.
Once, I was playing a game on my iPod, right? Well, I got so lazy that keeping my eyes in focus was too much effort, so I just let them wander and went cross eyed, I didn't have the drive to re-focus them.
Everything involving the military since I got back from Afghanistan in August of 2011. I stopped giving a shit about everything related to my job. Luckily I'm out in a few months ;)
I just downloaded Firefox because Youtube keeps making my Chrome crash. I am too lazy to solve the problem and will use Firefox solely for Youtube until someone else diagnoses the problem.
I bought about $3000 in computer parts and didn't assemble it until 2 years later. I still haven't installed the ~$700 in water-cooling parts for it yet.
adamatik ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:14:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, my roommate and I threw out our vacuum cleaner instead of vacuuming the apartment.
I was round a friends place for an allnighter. I put my pizza box on the floor, and plan to eat it later when im not in the middle of something, I get hungry but i couldn't be bothered to reach down to grab pizza, I just lower the seat down and grab a slice.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:17:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ummmmmm it's more like the laziest thing I've never done and I didn't even do it
Bond4141 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:26:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spent an hour in math class making new formulas that skipped a few steps.
While taking the ACT, which I had spent months preparing for back in high school, I decided I was too lazy to stay for the writing portion, and chose to have it omitted.
I got a cumulative score of 34, which is 99.9 percentile. (1 in 30,000 people get a 34 or higher), but most of my colleges I ended up applying to required a writing score.
Ended up delaying my college applications and stressing out about it for 2 months, and then re-taking a 4 hour test because I was too lazy to do the last 30-minute section.
Jaguar_u ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:42:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was passing through a street with some friends really boozed (i think that is implied) and discovered that there was a wedding comming on in a church nearby .. we wait the right moment until the priest said the magic words came in like a pro and yelled DONT MARRY THAT BITCH! and then say Just kidding and run the fuck away cause five dudes where chasing us to beat the crap out of us
Jaguar_u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I read .. craziest .. TT.TT anyway does tell you bf to scratch my balls while im eating cheetos count as lazy?
ico2ico2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:50:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once turned down sex because she told me she had work in the morning and I'd have to leave by 8AM.
literally, her: "Come back to mine and fuck me, but I have work in the morning so you've gotta leave by 8AM". me: "it's been a pleasure to meet you, I wish you all the best in life, goodbye".
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Considered not even commenting because I didn't want to have to type...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:53:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i was camping with 5 friends, and it rained really hard the first night we where there. we got there late the evening prior and didnt have time to set up a good rain guard, so we where forced to do it around 5am. after getting everything settled, we managed to leave a 4-5 foot overhang in front of our tent, sort of like a porch. one friend pulls out his bag of weed, and not having smoked in a while, most of us where floored after a few whacks at it.
flash foreward five hours, and we are in the same chairs, none of us having moved in hours. these kids where riding around the campground all morning, doing lap after lap. eventually i say "man, these kids need a job; this is like the 100th time they've rode past us." a slight hum of agreement came from the gaggle of us, and then after a moment of silence i began to laugh. they all look at me and i simply explain: "i'm sitting here talking shit about little kids because they've been riding their bikes all morning, and yet here i am, stoned and having not been able to move for over 5 hours now" we all had a great laugh over this; and continued to sit and waste away the day
TLDR; i got super stoned and made fun of small children
bubut ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:44:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Remoting into my PC in the other room to turn it off.
SSH'ing into my router to reboot it because it was on a shelf ~3 ft away.
This is really late, but I have to share at least a snippet of a convo i had with one of my friends about a week ago. (she lives 3 hours away)
Me) derpette, i need you to listen very carefulleee
Her) I listen.
Me) even the backspace kauy is out of mi range of effort
Her) Oh god neverdeadned. Get some sleep.
Me) i need u to drive to [herpville], and open this candi so i can eat it\
Her) That's not gonna happen.
Me) but its a gummi
Her) But that would take effort.
Me)sure, but so much less then hard candy woild
heck, it's laying on my chest even
shit... i lost my footrest
going down
shitshitshitshitshit
pretty soft
Back in high school, me, my friend, and some other guy were assigned a science project assigned on Atoms. The teacher gave directions that all 3 of us in the groups would be graded equally so we had to do our best.
My friend and I worked really hard doing our part but our partner wasn't really doing much. He just sat there browsing his fucking iPhone most of the time we were doing actual work. We got pissed off because of this and we threatened to take his phone and smash it if he didn't do any work. He finally complied and came up with an idea that we should incorporate a powerpoint into our project and he said he would do it.
We worked endless time on this project and finally presentation came. That day, we presented most of our work and got to the end when our partner presented his powerpoint. Here's how it goes: His powerpoint looks good so far. His title looks nice and the next page describes an accurate description of atoms. Here's the thing though. The next slide features a video in which he took from some chemistry show featuring the atomic process. After the video ended, so did the powerpoint. Me and my friend have a blank look after as he sat down like it was gold. So basically what he did he just did a title and incorporated a show he filmed on his TV.
Teacher gave us a 75 on the project. We were angry at our partner for just filming a show. How lazy could he get? We could've done a whole lot better had he created a normal fucking powerpoint like everyone else in the school. I still can't believe we got a C on that project just because of that guy.
TL;DR: We bombed a project because this kid just video taped a show rather than putting effort into the project.
I was too lazy to buy advanced tickets to the movie The Dark Knight. The movie theater we wanted to go to was at Century 16 and good thing it sold out. The second time laziness saved my ass (literally... it was really unfortunate that someone I "knew" secondhandedly had a bullet shot through one ass cheek to another) was when my friend and I were too lazy to go to the finish line of the Boston Marathon and only stuck around at Kenmore Square otherwise...who knows what would have happened. There are times when laziness pays off.
Really late here, but I can't get this one's great. There was popular tv show everyone liked to watch. It was about a dysfunctional family and their talking pet dog. It had been running since 1999. The shows creator one day decided that the dog was no longer an important part of the show. So instead of having an elaborate scene to explain the loss of the god, he simply has the dog get hit by a car. It totally sucked.
arcedup ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:40:02 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd started as a graduate engineer in the steel mill along with a couple of other people and at that time, the meltshop offices were in this demountable with really thin walls, and we're all known for being loud. So one day the mechanical engineer graduate needs to ask the technical superintendent a question, but instead of getting up and walking the 10 meters to his officeโฆ he rings him instead. And I'm just sitting at my desk, listening to the super answer his phone in his office, then the graduate ask his question, just waiting for itโฆ
"DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING DO THAT AGAIN, YOU HEAR?! WE'RE IN THE SAME FUCKING BUILDING, YOU CAN FUCKING WELL WALK TO MY OFFICE!"
And the super keeps bellowing for another half a minute - and everyone in the demountable can hear him - as we're rolling around laughing our heads off.
I still haven't finished middle school at 19 because I kept procrastinating doing my 8th grade work playing games and shit. You may say I have pretty shitty parents, but they're busy and they don't care as much because I'm making tons of money online doing my own thing. They did try to remind me every single day and threaten me with public school every day, but never followed through.
I really am lucky though because I became a video game developer directly do to this, instead of doing school work 90% of which I will never use in life, I learned coding and game design and such so I don't have to work in retail for 10 years of my life.
Herdus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i have my own bathroom, and a bottle a keep my desk to piss and cum in through out the day
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:50:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:42:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's kind of the exact opposite.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
what
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought a movie on demand because I didn't feel like going into the next room and looking for the DVD of the same movie in the vast pile of DVDs I have.
Monky978 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Feeling stiff in the morning so I used the pitching wedge in my closet to pull up my pants.
xmonox ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:09:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:15:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was on a stag/ bachelor party with some friends in a Spanish resort and on the second day we were feeling a little fragile after the excesses of the night before. Anyway, we started drinking with the rest of the guys but myself and 2 friends decided that we didn't want to go to the bar. (We didn't mind paying our way but just didn't want to move. Plus the round involved 15+ drinks).
We then positioned ourselves in the first bar so we were blocked in so we could legitimately ask someone else to go to the bar with our money. This lasted 4 hours before we moved bars.
At each bar we managed to find a reason to just sit on our asses while a combination of our friends and innocent bar staff ran around after us.
We never missed a round but more importantly we went a total of 16 hours not moving from our seats to go to the bar.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:17:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lived in a flat with my wife and the place to put the garbage was a 50 meter walk from the front door. So I put them in the back of the car to drive down. Problem was I didn't bother making that trip for two weeks and drove around with this stinking trash in the back.OH was not best pleased.
Take a piss in the glass I kept next to my bed because I was too lazy to get up to go to the toilet. I had this disgusting habit for a few months
r0w4nH10 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:12:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young (25 years ago) for xmas I asked for a tv with a remote control so I could watch tv in bed and not have to get up to switch it off. I only got a normal TV and my dad being a fellow procrastinator saw my disappointment made me remote control using a long piece of bamboo with pointing glove filled with polyfiller. It was brilliant as now I didnโt just have a remote control for my TV but also my stereo, my door, the curtains etc. Bit tricky sometimes but it was the best present ever!
Little late but, I once stayed at a friends house a week straight. Sat on the couch in the basement and either played PS3/Xbox or went on the internet. Never went home, talked to my parents probably once in those 7 days. I don't think we even left the house. All we ate was dominos pizza. For 7 straight days. Probably the laziest time to have occurred in my life.
Saved comment
Albuyeh ยท 3454 points ยท Posted at 08:43:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used to have one of those 'clap on, clap off' lights in my room. I hated clapping so I just made an audio recording of me clapping and mapped it to one of the programmable keys on my keyboard.
[deleted] ยท 308 points ยท Posted at 18:41:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know that could be a thing. Either way; that's funny.
j1mb0b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:39 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone hates The Clap.
mclaclan ยท 260 points ยท Posted at 15:25:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that is really lazy.
Evref ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 18:00:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, this guy should win thread, and it's prize: a year's worth of I.V. injectable meals.
hypnofed ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's the opposite of lazy. It sounds like it was tons of work compared to the alternative.
Gersio ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 20:35:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So now instead of turning the light off clapping you just press a button. That's brilliant!
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 21:14:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same as my house! It's called a light switch.
Shoden ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:34:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's a switch you have to reach for, a keyboard button you just have to slightly move a finger. Pioneering laziness.
Hazeblazer420 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:06:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining you sitting there with headphones on thinking "shit, my clapper is broken"
bojo600 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:50:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
still probably not as lazy as your Da Vinci book: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/12o817/the_internet_told_me_that_you_can_unclog_a_shower/c6wwdar
ircoleton ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:58:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The sad part is, I could see myself doing this.
afganistanimation ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:56:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you scream loud enough, you can turn the lights on and off too
Mygusta55 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:52:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
AAAAAAHHHHHH. AAAAAAHHHHHH. lights off
berlin-calling ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:06:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This one should really be higher up.
Ziazan ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Higher than the top?
whatthefossy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:11:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He made the comment 4 hours ago
Paultimate79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to the 4th dimension, dude?
Ziazan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe it's some hidden section of reddit, above the comments, that contains more comments but only special people get to see them.
berlin-calling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say it should be #1, just higher up. The top post is absolutely the best story.
Ziazan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But the comment I replied to was part of the top post.
berlin-calling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:17 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Either I'm missing something, or you're missing something. The top post is about moving a ship to avoid the sun. The one I commented on is about making an audio recording instead of clapping.
Ziazan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:58:52 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What you're missing is it's now at the top of that thread.
berlin-calling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:44 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeahhhh I'm going to call bullshit. I highly doubt that a post with 1,562 upvotes is going to show up above one with 29,270.
I have no clue how you're sorting your posts, but the top post under this topic is about moving a ship so that the sun isn't in some dude's eyes.
Ziazan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:30:48 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was sorted by "best" rather than "top".
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:59:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually quite clever.
Ennacolovesyou ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:00:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy son, that's genius.
daytonatrbo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:12:52 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I yell, the clapper thinks I'm clapping. Now I just scream at my lights and they listen.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:16:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
internetpersondude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You would have to take your hands all the way off the keyboard.
pantsofcake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:09:03 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Must not be American.
alstory091 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:50:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't really lazier than clapping unless you're keyboard is within arm's reach at all time.
internetpersondude ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 19:23:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Let's see:
Probably is.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
internetpersondude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:50:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What makes you so sure of that?
Hank_Scorpion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Still too much effort
Almost_Ascended ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:10 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's the joke.
ArmchairActivist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:33 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You bound the clapper... to a switch. It's genius.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:47 on February 9, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
well so where did you fap at the time?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:39 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
thanks for the lawls.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:45 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
i cannot stop laughing!
viridtadpole966 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:05 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my Buddha!! That is genius!!
PainfulBaguette ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:43:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
'Murica.
rsschomp ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:16:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
made me LOL
bounce580 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:05:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think that's lazy, I think that's genius.
irregularinfatuation ยท 844 points ยท Posted at 08:33:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always heat things in the microwave for 1:11 or 2:22 because I'm too lazy to move my fingers to the 0 before I hit start.
slouse ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 19:16:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I simply set mine to 99:99 so all I have to do is hit "start" whenever I need something heated.... that is.... until the time runs out eventually.
irregularinfatuation ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:11:49 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh it just drives me crazy when people don't hit the reset button when they take their food out early!
daytonatrbo ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:39:04 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The "add 30 sec" or "easy cook" button is the only button I use on a microwave.
12344432223 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:26:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There should just be an On button - "let me worry about it, microwave, it's my life"
Ayeffkay ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:38:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
88 or 99 seconds checking in
Pindogger ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:00:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Adam Carolla fan? He talks about this from time to time. I picked up on it and now do it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What will you do with those extra 45 seconds you save in the end of it all?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:50:17 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
irregularinfatuation ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:43:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome! Thanks!
redisforever ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:59:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes need to microwave something for 1:20 seconds. I just use 1:23 because I just need to slide my finger over the 3 buttons, since they're flat.
irregularinfatuation ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:13:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am definitely going to try this next time.
czechmeight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:23:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My microwave lets me press start and it automatically cooks for a minute so if I want to cook something for 1:30 I just press start twice and open it when there's 30 seconds left.
Alternatively, I also just cook it for 2 minutes and wait for it to cool.
Machegav ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:53:40 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like this for containers with no handles, but rotating microwaves will do a full rotation once every ten seconds, so if you want to grasp the handle the same way taking it out, doing it in multiples of ten is preferred.
demicus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But.... the 0 is on the way to the start button! They literally live on the same street as each other, in fact they're next door neighbors.
iNyano ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:25 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some microwaves start automatically after hitting three numbers.
Example: eh fuck it i am too lazy to give one
Potato_Mangler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:18 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You Win
roflpwntnoob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:17 on February 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
HA, MINE HAS A MINUTE BUTTON!
stopsnstarts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:23:30 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Thank god I'm not the only one.
elementalrain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:16 on April 7, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
My sister just presses "66"
MobySick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:57 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Not lazy. Economical kenetics.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ditto. but i never do 6:66 ... ever. i'll just eat it partially frozen at 5:55
Hobobski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:44 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
3:33 works magic for Mister Noodles. Well, they don't cook all the way but I don't feel like finding a better time.
Pyrise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My microwave starts if you press cook starting at 30 seconds, press it again to add another 30 seconds.
i-Mage ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 08:49:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, meme material.
diosmuerteborracho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
what do you mean by that?
i-Mage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:23 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I mean this could make a meme, meme material. Nevermind you animals.
diosmuerteborracho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:57 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
what is a meme in this scenario? pls explain via meme
IAMA_dingleberry_AMA ยท 5579 points ยท Posted at 07:21:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a dog and a cat, and I HATE sleeping with the door open. Sometimes dog wants to sleep in the bedroom, sometimes dog wants to sleep outside the bedroom. But he never decides until I'm comfy in bed. Solution? Keep a laser pointer on my nightstand. Once dog decides where he's sleeping, I'll shine the laser pointer on the door so that my cat paws it closed. It has now become a routine that my cat will wait by the door for the laser before laying down.
[deleted] ยท 516 points ยท Posted at 08:55:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
genius.
The_Sven ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:38:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And adorable.
Kastoli ยท 3457 points ยท Posted at 09:41:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Always give the hardest task to the laziest person, because they'll figure out the easiest way to do it."
-Somebody, Somewhere, Sometime
Seriously... It's things like this that just prove it right.
mispeling_in10sunal ยท 2368 points ยท Posted at 10:29:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The actual quote is, "I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job because he will find an easy way to do it." -Bill Gates
daytonatrbo ยท 1259 points ยท Posted at 11:25:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a fine line between lazy enough to be brilliant and too lazy to show up for work.
mispeling_in10sunal ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 11:32:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair the people that tend to work at places like Microsoft are brilliant because they have the ability to pick the best and brightest. But you're right, you have to take this quote with a grain of salt, this isn't a free pass to be lazy, you have to be intelligent too.
armorandsword ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 12:59:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant people can often be perceived a a lazy as well (which is probably largely your point). Some people only pick up on visible displays of hard graft and don't see the mental gymnastics going on behind what seem like simple "lazy" solutions.
It's analogous to the duck gracefully gliding across the lake. Look below the surface and its legs are working furiously.
ouroborosity ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:23:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not about the duck legs down here (points at feet), it's about the duck legs in here (points at head)."
Animal_Inside_You ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:45:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly... the prerequisite is not being lazy... it is being capable of independently solving problems. After that, being lazy can actually be an asset.
faceplanted ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:52:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The difference between the two types of laziness is that all the people that the quote refers to would still have done the job manually if their clever ideas didn't work and it got close to the deadline, they'll just try every other easy method first.
propool ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:27:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you give six hours to do a task I will spend 4 fours to research how to do it in 10 minutes. Yes I am a programmer :)
Astrognome ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:57:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds about right. I spent weeks deciding on what scripting language to use, then a day actually integrating it.
A_perfect_sonnet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:58:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Give me eight hours to chop down a tree, I'll spend six hours sharpening the axe. -Abraham Lincoln
Garris0n ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:05:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that explains Windows 8.
Endless_Search ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:50 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
cake
Sigma207 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Along with this quote, I like to say, "lazy but reliable."
illyay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Microsoft employee here. Can confirm. My excuse for being on reddit is im reinstalling my environment.
imapotato99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lazy and stupid= America's funniest home videos
yabba_dabba_doo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Microsoft's brilliance is vastly overrated. Even with all that brainpower and R&D, they have produced virtually nothing of lasting value.
Endless_Search ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:24 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If Windows and other OSes were perfect, along with the little minutiae that make them up, then there be little need for word processor software. As is, you get some really cool shit if you want to have the balls to make it.
calgarspimphand ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:24:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I make a habit of living right on this line.
ceakay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That fine line is called a mortgage.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm lazy enough that I made it such that I can work from home. Or Tahiti. Or anywhere with an internet connection.
LordUncleBob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:44 on March 18, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I want your life
SomeGuyNamedPaul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:56 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it's called "telecommuting".
churmpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ahh when laziness verges on disability
TheJunkyard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a fine line between brilliant enough to finish typing a
Peaceblaster86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
-Plato
Almost_Ascended ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:27 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, that's irresponsible.
methshin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too busy thinking away around doing said job to come in and not do it.
GirtByData ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:56 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Telecommuting is the lazy person's answer to that
Kittimm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:46 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And a not-so-hard line between the most difficult job and closing a door.
Eliwood_of_Pherae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you work for bill gates, you show up for work.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:28:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The difference is sloth. Being lazy is fine, but you get into trouble when you start being slothful.
WHITESTNIGGER ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:58:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Microsoft quality, folks
thatguyscat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:15:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's called the unemployment line.
Sterculius ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:18:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bill: "I've got a very important project, and I've chosen you specifically to head it up."
Employee: "Wow, thanks! Hey, wait a minute..."
mak484 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 12:05:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"The problem with Internet quotes is that you never know if they are real."
-Jesus
mispeling_in10sunal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:24:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You really think someone would do that, just go on the internet and tell lies?
But in all seriousness, I'm pretty skeptical that it is an actual quote, I just haven't seen it sourced to anyone else.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:11:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
This joke is made in every single thread where there is a quote. At least the other guy went with Jesus instead of Abe Lincoln for the millionth time.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:31:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ok I'll delete it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cool! Remember, if you read the joke on Reddit, don't contribute to the circle jerk and retell the joke on reddit.... like this whole thread.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But that's the only way to make karma
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
True, but just remember this: When you see a user with tons of karma, do you think "Wow, that guy is so cool!"? Or do you think "Wow, that''s kind of pathetic..."?
Anglaceandwhiskey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That depends. Is it /u/Unidan?
Unidan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because then it's definitely pathetic.
Anglaceandwhiskey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap! I'm now one of those cool people that Unidan replied to! My life is complete. So long, reddit! ;)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Both.
And if I want a lot of karma, my other answers would have been:
(Link to Why don't we have both)
Or
ANSWER: YES
Currywursts ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:35:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That man? Albert Einstein. Oh wait...
sadman81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:18:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But in a lot of cases, the lazy person will just make someone else do the job for them?
KomraD1917 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:54:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
management material.
Therinn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:51:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/836063-i-will-always-choose-a-lazy-person-to-do-a
sorrydaijin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think /u/Kastoli's citation method was more in the spirit of the thread.
MajorKirrahe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:42 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He was too lazy to find the real quote.
Scurry ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:51:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's older than that.
mispeling_in10sunal ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:52:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got a source? That's always who I've seen it attributed to.
patropolis55 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:33:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same here
notwastingtime42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I coulda swore it was some Roman, I'm thinking Marcus Aurelius but I can't find the quote so...damn.
Scurry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well I mean that quote is Bill Gates, but people have been saying lazy people do jobs the easiest way for longer.
DiligentLlama ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 11:26:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's because you believe all the quotes that you see on the internet.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:30:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet" - Abraham Lincoln
iProXi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're right but I just read it like he was too lazy to look up who said it first/properly.
armorandsword ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In management parlance this strategy is called "Big Willy Style"
seanmmcardle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, the quote is by Henry ford and kastoli got it right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And now we have power shell!
npav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That must be where Microsoft Bob came from!
R4D10Active ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think Walter Chrysler said it before Bill Gates?
Whenever there is a hard job to be done I assign it to a lazy man; he is sure to find an easy way of doing it.
snailbarf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was also a documentary on lazy people at one point or other, think I saw it on TLC or something. Dude being interviewed is admittedly very lazy. They interviewed his boss and he gave this same answer, as this "very lazy" person became apparently very efficient at getting things done with the minimal amount of man hours, and was thus paid very handsomely.
Cyberogue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And that's where engineers come into play
Simultaneously working with the idea that if it ain't broke, it lacks features
MefiezVousLecteur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The Encyclopaedia Britannica lists Walter Chrysler as having said this before Bill Gates was ever born:
http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/116389/Walter-P-Chrysler
KieranWoonton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
*quotation
thirdworldguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yet only hires the ever studying toppers in the campus
CommentsPwnPosts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Efficiency is intelligent laziness."
-Unknown (This quotation is attributed to David Dunham on many web sites, but when contacted David said "I believe I first ran into the saying in the early 1980s, but I didn't remember or record the original source.")
NonorientableSurface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Truthfully, it's not an easy way, but more an efficient way. Laziness can breed efficiency.
Flamesoul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favourite quote of all time. Why do it the hard way when you can do it easier?
_bingo_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and the world got Internet Explorer.
someone31988 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit, I'm too lazy to figure it out.
12Valv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome
omganesh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I saw this Bill Gates quote, it reminded me of Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord, about dividing his officers into four groups:
"Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the intellectual clarity and the composure necessary for difficult decisions."
The3rdNote ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like how he assumes that the lazy person will be male :L
zublits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I never liked this quote. There's a big difference between lazy and efficient. Lazy is what I'm doing right now: sitting on reddit wasting time. Lazy people aren't ingenious because they are too lazy to get anything done.
Coldheat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer the saying "work smart, not hard" .....it makes me sound less lazy....even though it has exactly the same meaning.
xana452 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that how we ended up with Windows Vista?
ArmchairActivist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:10 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
DO NOT QUOTE GATES VERSION OF THAT, he just ripped it from hundreds of other people when he read it in a book that morning.
TheShroomHermit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:59 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think he got the spirit of the quote right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:50 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is no record of him ever saying that.
Barney21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:16 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I read a very similar quote about Frank Gilbreth in "Cheaper By the Dozen" when Gates was in high school.
annaqua ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:06:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always bring this up in interviews because I'm lazy as shit.
mentalfist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:22:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And the lazy persons name?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:41:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My nigga
Patel347 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:17:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yup this is why I'm good at programming
SamCropper ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:28:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
-Michael Scott
_I_AM_BATMAN_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:44:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
QED
panicboner ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:33:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ok then, let's see if that works. Alright /u/IAMA_dingleberry_AMA. Your job is to eradicate AIDS in Africa, armed with only a cat and a laser pointer.
captain04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:29:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was bill gates
ivorymash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:32:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bill gates.
Pandaholz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:54:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's a pretty stupid quote though. Since A lazy person will most likely perform that task half-assed.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:03:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Very efficient people often get mislabelled as lazy because they successfully avoid wasting unnecessary time and energy.
ClumpOfCheese ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:07:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I do shit like this too, but I wast a lot of time coming up with the easiest way to do something, but I guess it's not a waste if it's something I have to do frequently.
When I was a kid a had a bunk bed and my bedroom was 9x9 so if I used a stick I could shut my bedroom door, turned the lights out and change the channel on my 13" TV with a missing remote.
I also had a "trash funnel" at the foot of my bed so I could just throw my trash in that general direction and it would make it into the trash bag.
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Aye, but it'll give you a process.
tmama1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel a company could start up and use this tag line
LiftedTrucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I believe that was Bill Gates who said that. Or Steve Jobs. Not positive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, and I've now realized why I'm the best cook at my pizza place. Thanks.
Zbignich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd research who actually said that, but I'm too lazy to actually do it.
smaxwell87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to look up quote origin. I like it
socialite-buttons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was Bill Gates that said that
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bill gares
DONTROWILLIS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bill Gates said that.
maddog1117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Henry Ford right?
Birdshaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kumiankka55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was Bill Gates
skysten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nice how you were too lazy to find the quote.
StoleAGoodUsername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to find out who it was?
ipunished ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I believe bill gates said that
kicktriple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No it doesn't prove this quote correct at all. Most people in this thread would never succeed at that. His laziness was countered by the fact he tried to find a solution. Most of the laziness here is no effort to find a solution. It only occasionally shows that this quote is correct.
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The quote only applies when 'no solution' isn't an acceptable conclusion. I.E. A work environment.
Rainfawkes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
or they will just not do it.. like i am doing right now
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Like I said somewhere else, it only really applies where no solution isn't a viable conclusion. It has to be/will be done one way, and you're more than likely to find the easiest/quickest way.
leadnpotatoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It probably would have built an arduino bot to do it. Lord knows you can never trust a cat to be anything but useless.
ginfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's a wonder no one have asked me to discover the meaning of life and to figure out a way to make interstellar travel work yet.
...yet...
dinoroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Where I work, the lazy person just waits for someone else to pick up the slack, proving that they are useless. That strategy would also work a lot better if people picked up the flack a lot faster at my work.
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Technically that is a solution...
rlavoie24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you like a pimp or somthing?
apaq11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather actually had a good quote about this to me. It went something like this: "Apaq11, you're going to make a good engineer because you're lazy and you're smart. You will never do anything the hard way."
iamnotbacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Scott Adams. Analogously. Today (!) on Dilbert.com. http://dilbert.com/2013-11-26/
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
LOL. I wonder if he's a redditor.
Wisdom4Less ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate you not bothering to look up the actual quote. Whatever that is.
Baljet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord:
I divide my officers into four groups. There are clever, diligent, stupid, and lazy officers. Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and diligent -- their place is the General Staff. The next lot are stupid and lazy -- they make up 90 percent of every army and are suited to routine duties. Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the intellectual clarity and the composure necessary for difficult decisions. One must beware of anyone who is stupid and diligent -- he must not be entrusted with any responsibility because he will always cause only mischief.
ShadowPuppet1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actually it was Ziad K. Abdelnour in "Economic Warfare: Secrets of Wealth Creation in the Age of Welfare Politics."
Source: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/836063-i-will-always-choose-a-lazy-person-to-do-a
Carvinrawks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The "hardest" task in this case is getting out of bed to shut a god damn door. What?!
alex100383 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you were even too lazy to get the quote right, and site the correct source... well done!
witch_irl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Technology is driven by laziness." - my high school teacher
Other day I saw a self-stirring mug, because getting a spoon and manually stirring your tea/coffee is too much work.
infected_goat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd look up the quote but I'm too lazy
Jarl__Ballin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:58 on December 21, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to find the real quote?
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:00 on December 21, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yay! Necro
Poonsack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Awesome!
mrsquare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to source the quote?
vveurk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's like that (apocryphal) story about the toothpaste factory.
A toothpaste factory had a problem. They sometimes shipped empty boxes without the tube inside. This was caused by the way the production line was set up, and people with experience in designing production lines will tell you how difficult it is to have everything happen with timings so precise that every single unit coming out of it is perfect 100% of the time. Small variations in the environment (which canโt be controlled in a cost-effective fashion) mean you must have quality assurance checks smartly distributed across the line so customers all the way down to the supermarket donโt get angry and buy another product instead.
Understanding how important that was, the CEO of the toothpaste factory got the top people in the company together and they decided to start a new project in which they would hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem since their engineering department was already too stretched to take on any extra effort.
The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP and third-parties selected. Six months (and $8 million) later, they had a fantastic solution - on time, on budget, high quality and everyone in the project had a great time. They solved the problem by using high-tech precision scales that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box would weigh less than it should. The line would stop and someone would have to walk over and yank the defective box out of it, pressing another button when done to restart the line.
A while later, the CEO decides to have a look at the ROI of the project and sees amazing results! No empty boxes ever shipped out of the factory after the scales were put in place. There were very few customer complaints and they were gaining market share. โThatโs some money well spent!,โ he says, before looking closely at the other statistics in the report.
It turns out the number of defects picked up by the scales was zero after three weeks of production use. It should have been picking up at least a dozen a day, so maybe there was something wrong with the report. He filed a bug against it and after some investigation, the engineers came back saying the report was actually correct. The scales really werenโt picking up any defects because all boxes that got to that point in the conveyor belt were good.
Puzzled, the CEO travels down to the factory and walks up to the part of the line where the precision scales are installed.
A few feet before the scale was an inexpensive desk fan blowing the empty boxes out of the belt and into a bin.
โOh, that,โ says one of the workers, โone of the guys put it there โcause he was tired of walking over every time the bell rang.โ
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard that before, but differently, and I do love it.
tonylamentola ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:45:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Henry Ford
wtbnewsoul ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:48:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think that was Gaius Julius Caesar.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:14:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
commenting for the quote...ironically im too lazy to open word, copy paste and save. fuck.
JoeyJoeC ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I said this on reddit years ago and got downvoted to oblivion for saying it :(
tyroneking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stop moaning
JoeyJoeC ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:14:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No! :(
tyroneking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OK then ...
JoeyJoeC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sniff
finniespin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:43:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am going to write that down!
tonterias ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 10:19:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just copy-paste it, it's already written down
JRockstar50 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:11:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So lazy...
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:58:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put a doggy door on my bedroom door for this reason.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:08:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're a genius!
monkeyvagina ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:11:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is brilliant
SchecterClassic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:18:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's less lazy and more brilliant.
HuskyLuke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I want to be like you when I grow up.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:34:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats adorable
ice--queen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:51:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not lazy, thats brilliant!
OrcarinaOfTrees ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:52:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
omfg yes
Calsmokes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:20:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant
monroefancy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:37:49 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
You inspire me greatly
Ua_Tsaug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That... That's oddly brilliant!
chivere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm genuinely impressed with this one.
Butt_Plug_Inspector ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
how does it feel to be an unholy mixture of lint, feces and sweat? also, you are brilliant.
meltphace26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
get ready to be hired to Microsoft, this is pure genius
wallarookiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually really cool!
Naeplan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Love it.
GRANDMA_FISTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Genius right here. Or animal dompteur.
csorfab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you ask me, you win this thread. Sure, others may have been lazier, but this is pure ingenuity. I'm amazed.
horderBopper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my Jesus Lord savior. I have 2 dogs and two cats and the EXACT same problem. Definitely gonna try this. Genius.
almdudler26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's... amazing!
FiendishBeastie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy - that's delegation and intelligent use of resources!
totallifeforever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:58:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
thats so fucking genius
Akhaian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is actually pretty clever.
Tobyleec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is the most genius thing i have ever heard.
Ceejae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, that's efficient. Big difference. Awesome difference in this case.
ToxicBoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I love your username.
Sad_ladybear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:26:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Beside the fact that I love you having a dog AND a cat, or that you let them in the bedroom, I like you being smart about your dogs indecisiveness by using the cats playfulness!
murica4357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This.... This! is fucking brilliant.
Play_It ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now you can be extra lazy and go through the whole thing without even leaving the computer.
NerdyBish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a wizard? o_O
meatywood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put a doggie door in my bedroom door. The pets can come and go from my bedroom as they please.
MishterJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a dog that does this too. Now I want a cat and a laser pointer.
zach_75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best laziest thing ever!
Shake-Tramp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually taught my labrador to shut doors for this reason!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
what is a dingleberry
president-dickhole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the only comment I've seen so far and I've already saved this thread.
Wiggles114 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are the Beastmaster
lemmereddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I inadvertently trained my cat to sit in front of my TV, blocking my view. She went through this period where she sat on the TV stand right on front of the screen. She wouldn't move if I yelled at her. I didn't want to squirt water at my electronics. I'd have to get up and start moving towards her before she would jump down.
I came up with the bright idea that I'd use a laser pointer to get her attention and jump down and play with it. Well, I did that a few times and then she associated blocking the TV with "laser fun time". She would block the TV and stare at me until I got the laser pointer out.
TL;DR My cat trained me.
snupicel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
why do you HATE sleeping with the door open? what the fuck is wrong with you?
LikeABawss22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ha I had the same method for my cat to turn the lights off
suamac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've trained by dog to close doors. Problem solved!
motorcyclesnracecars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
While this is amazingly lazy and I applaud you, it's at the top because cat.
TheBusinessCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Approves.
piercedntreck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wish my dog wasn't as obsessed with the laser pointer as my cat
biggestdoucheonearth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This seems like a dumb and unnecessary solution.
...why don't you just leave the door open?
newton54645 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is fucking brilliant
SamCropper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Completely genius. It's a win-win-win situation.
RamenJunkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This has probably been said but this is not lazy its genis.
bier4brkfst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't call this lazy....I call this genius. This man deserves a medal!
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the smartest things I've ever read on this website. Right up there with the kid whose Mother jerked him off because he lost the use of his arms.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would never sleep because I"d have to neurotic mammals tweaking and obsessively looking for a tiny red dot, for hours.
HappyNihilist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you care so much about the door being closed?
Polmeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lying down.
fluteitup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The best part is that your cat doesn't even realize he's been trained.
whatiznt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, that's just genius.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's freaking brilliant.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I, too, prefer too sleep with my door closed. And, I, too, have a slight dog problem. My dog always leaves right after I have found that sweet spot. In order to close the door he rudely leaves open I leave various heavy objects on the floor by my bed, usually shoes, and then throw them at the door until the door closes.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I will remember this for future use
halpinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just discovered the laser pointer trick the other day. My dog wants to go out to pee, but doesn't want to come inside right away. Solution: make him chase the laser pointer around the yard once or twice then make him follow it into the house.
wolfkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
it's supposed to be "lazy" not "ingenious"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ate fried chicken while taking a shit once. I was really hungry and also needed to take a massive shit.
TheKyleP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a door sized black-out curtain and a spring loaded door sized curtain rod for this problem. Hanging that up was a life changing event for me. Cats come and go as they wish and I get to sleep in a dark room.
laurie125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You have me seriously considering moving my bed to the wall opposite my door because I have the exact same problem. Indecisive dog, cat in my room, hated open door, all of it.
SeryaphFR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This . . . is brilliant.
Seriously.
swollennode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hate sleeping with the door open, but my cat likes to go in and out of my room, so I hung a weight on the door frame with a string over the door. So my door automatically closes.
sickly_snake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of something I did. My bed was on the same wall as the bedroom door and my cat and dog also like to wander at night, so I tied a length of yarn to the door knob and wrapped the other end around my headboard. I could open or close the door by pulling on the string.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
People like you will change the world one day.
ShitGuysWeForgotDre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like everything I have done in my life has just become 15% less impressive after reading this.
CaptainIndustry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Invest in a string mechanism or long stick.
jermzdeejd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is not lazy....this is just brain power.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sad that I can't do this because my bedroom door opens out into the hallway. I think I might take a weekend and change that now. I will go to pretty extreme lengths if it will facilitate laziness in the future. It's all about net work over time.
frrrni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A cat activated device. This is some flinstones shit.
8rainbowcaterpillar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I never fully close my door so my cat may come and go as she pleases and I don't have to get out of bed to open the door for her. :) Or hear her attack the door when she isn't on the side she wants to be on at the moment.. >:/
ljog42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is... absolutely brilliant
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How does your cat get out? Does it not shit in your room overnight?
Drakoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is genius!
Dynasty2201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Totally read this in a Russian accent through a haze of cigarette smoke.
Guard_Puma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, it's ingenuity! Well...and a little lazy.
brohan28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta shoot this and upload on YouTube.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Be careful doing this. Laser pointers can bring out OCD in dogs and cause them to chase lights and shadows. Unfortunately I was unaware of this and fucked up my girlfriends dog :(
Ecuacuba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you sir, have just won the upvote lottery
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This guy has life figured out right here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are a freaking genius. Cats are for commies and commies are stupid. But apparently there are exceptions to the rule, Mr. Genius
enlitenme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant!!! Now how to open it in the morning for the cat who cuts off my last half hour of sleep EVERY SINGLE DAY because he'd rather be first in line by the shower for drippy-water-Funtime
rottengammy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
YES!!!
My wife bought my kids this massive outdoor playhouse because it was on sale for $500.
I invited my buddy over, who happens to be an engineer, had a prejob discussion about following the instruction manual no matter how small the print/photos so that we could eliminate re-work, and after getting through 1/4 of it we decided it would be easier to tear it down and return it. We broke it down and put it back in the box, which was actually harder then you think, and continued to drink beer for the next 8 hours.
Needless to say my wife, and kids, were not impressed...
laziness that day = drunk and vindicated
GOwisc08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's some Pavlov shit right there
psykikduk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:56 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dat Classical Conditioning.
Ickywickets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:08 on January 11, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Same problem, so I decided to put leather straps on each of the doorknobs. I've trained my dog to open/close the door on command.
ducks_are_superior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
r/lifehacks
BreakingShad0w ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who is conditioned in this case. You, or the animals?
xanisian ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:27:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There are literally not enough upvotes for this! It has everything: it's lazy, ingenious AND cute!
Whimpy_Ewok ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:31:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who knew dingleberries were so smart!
jartin47 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:35:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not even mad, that's actually impressive!
LeaveMyBrainAlone ยท 4939 points ยท Posted at 07:11:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i was laying in bed with the light on and wanted to go to sleep with it off. i called my house from my cell phone and asked for myself in a disguised voice. when my mom came in to bring me the phone i asked her to turn the light out when she left. hung up both phones and went to sleep
DinoGorillaBearMan ยท 536 points ยท Posted at 07:28:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How are you not a super villian yet? That was so evil and genius!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:33:41 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time, but instead I just tell her I wanted to stay good night before I went to sleep...
SamCropper ยท 207 points ยท Posted at 13:49:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You fucking legend. I like to imagine you didn't go for a normal voice and settled for a Nigerian Prince twang.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:07:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I imagined Bane
metalninjacake2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:16:09 on March 11, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
something something born in darkness
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:24:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Itchiest ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:28:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relax awhile. You'll have a stroke or something.
ShMaT9302 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah he really flew off the handle there. I hope he is more civil in the future
/s
SamCropper ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:16:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down, you'll give yourself a nosebleed.
ico2ico2 ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 14:33:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, if my teenage child gets a phone call and insists upon taking it with the lights off, I'm going to assume it's phone sex.
a00153 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 15:31:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You've never gotten a call while in bed, and just answered it? It's funny to imagine somebody turning on a lamp just to answer their phone XD
[deleted] ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 15:39:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HOW ELSE WOULD I SEE THE SOUND WAVES???
a00153 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:20:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HELLO?! I...CHERYL, HANG ON LET ME TURN ON THIS LAMP. Ah okay, hi Whatcha need?
TheWierdSide ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:20:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Happens in each and every movie
Deleriant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:42:19 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Makes more sense than taking off your glasses to hear better.
Inkertus_0 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:22:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is nearly as brilliant as the naval carrier guy in my opinion.
fennelads ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:17:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's amazing
flamingdeathmonkeys ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:50:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually laughed out loud. Brilliant.
Nickbou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:38:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is some Andy Kaufman-level stuff right here. No one knows your genius except you.
bigbeantheory ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is genius.
gandalfv31415 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Genius
Japslap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every single night I try to use my Jedi powers to flip the light switch off. Every single night I am disappointed.
A_Nagger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This, this is pure genius.
TBLacK457 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're a genius.
benshmuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is just evil...
owlsrule143 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Crafty as fuck, my personal favorite of this thread
everythingisoptional ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is pure genius
Raindot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, that's fucking genius.
NG96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:16 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have also done this...
TheUSAsian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:35 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After she walked in the room, I would have asked her to turn the light off through the phone.
Zagorath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:58 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is brilliant, but I imagine my mum would have just yelled at me to come take the call.
HybridTheory1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:33 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Redditers are smarter than we give them credit for.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:40 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Taking that idea... Pure genius.
PlanBam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:05 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is definitely one of the funniest I've read in this thread.
slicebishybosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They couldn't see the caller ID?
LeaveMyBrainAlone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
we never had caller ID
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You sir, are an absolute genius!
DutchJulie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:51 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
That seems a lot more complicated than to just put off the lights
sillypwilly ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:31:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My brother decided this was a good idea as well, just a few weeks ago.
?
Brother?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:37:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Impressive
nathanm412 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I read this on reddit somewhere in the last couple of months, but I'm too lazy to look it up. I'll just assume it's not a repost instead.
TupperWolf ยท 13376 points ยท Posted at 08:56:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but this one is too good to pass up:
I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.
But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.
He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.
Stelfury ยท 4507 points ยท Posted at 09:06:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is one of the greatest things I have ever read.
benshmuel ยท 799 points ยท Posted at 12:48:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Sometimes, oh so rarely, at a place you least expect it, you read something truly, mind boggelingly, glorious.
TupperWolf, that was beautifully executed, but dude, be honest - you've probably told that story to so many people by now you have it down to the syallable and the exact length of the dramatic pauses...
[deleted] ยท 241 points ยท Posted at 15:44:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sailors love to tell sea stories.
Ginger_Sailor ยท 136 points ยท Posted at 19:46:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Aye, that we do.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:59:30 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
That we do.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:18:48 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 04:22:09 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Yarr, that I am.
That i am.
pirotecnico54 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 14:53:38 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ARRGG, that we do. - FTFY
ikilledprincessdiana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:25 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
and brandy used to watch his eyes
tinverse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:30 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Shanties*
superspeck ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 16:58:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
There are stories that are just that good. I'm the same way with the two stories I have of being pulled over by police in the past several years. The first one, Chuck Norris personally, in the flesh, got me out of the ticket. The second one involved me getting asked if I was a steer or a queer.
benshmuel ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 18:48:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The actual Chuck Norris? Oh pray do tell... (even if it doesn't involve laziness)
superspeck ยท 524 points ยท Posted at 22:33:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
The year was 2006. I moved to College Station, TX, homeless and broke. Working my day job barely paid enough to live on, much less save enough to pay down debt and buy a house. I took a job during early mornings and late nights driving limos to the airport to make some cash on the side. Four hours of driving paid about $100 plus tip. I'd usually have one to two runs per week, and I was one of the few reliable drivers the guy had willing to do those runs -- the rest were tweakers or college students or only wanted daytime runs.
Normally, I'd just get a call that I had a run and that I should just show up, the limo would be prepped and ready except for ice in the coolers, and I'd do the run. But the office gal called me and told me to come in, boss wanted to see me.
Turns out he had a special run. In this case, it would be an evening run into IAH (Bush Intercontinental in Houston, about 120 miles or an hour a half depending on where in town you're coming from.) and the passenger was ... Chuck Norris. The ranch that Mr. Norris had retired to was just south of College Station, on the north side of Navasota, almost to Anderson. Boss man tells me to play it cool -- I'd gotten the gig because I was the only person he could count on not to screw it up.
So I pick him up .. big property, he's shorter than I expected and is starting to look REALLY old, but he's exceptionally polite. I do the normal stand and hold the door to the limo thing, he says that he wanted to get there a little early to meet someone in the Admiral's Lounge (or whatever it's called these days) for a drink, so could I please "kick it up a notch." I say, "Yes, Sir!"
Headed south on highway 6, when you cross into Waller Co., the speed limit drops from 70 (at the time, now 75) to 65 and lower. There's usually a state trooper or a county cop sitting a little bit past there running laser. It's a bit hilly, so you won't know if there's a cop on the next hill until you crest a hill. I was booking along at ten over... and since I'd been told to "kick it up a notch," I was scouting pretty carefully, but didn't actually slow down. And, of course, right in the median behind a bush, right before 290 where the speed limit actually drops to 55, there was a state trooper that I didn't spot in time to drop 20mph from a three ton limo without slamming on the brakes.
The trooper pulls me over, does the usual license check, and asks me, "Where you headed to?" "Bush intercontinental, sir." "Before I write you a ticket that'll get your Houston livery license pulled, do you have anything to say for yourself?" "Chuck Norris told me to kick it up a notch, sir."
I got the world's worst "pull the other one" look. And then Chuck Norris rolled his window down, stuck his head out, and said "Sorry, I wanted to get to the airport early. If you want to give anyone a ticket, I'll take it." This was right after Chuck Norris was made an honorary Texas Ranger. The trooper said, "That won't be necessary, sir. Slow down and have a nice flight."
cheeseheadfoamy ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:45:30 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is an amazing story.
Burning_Kobun ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 00:32:32 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe that this isn't in
/r/bestof/r/defaultgems[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 02:20:06 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
My neighbor is really good friends with Mr. Norris and I will show this to him but for now have some gold.
GoingPole2Pole ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:09:13 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
You're here from the Reddit history thread, aren't you?
SlipperyGooch ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:30:24 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Nah
mydarkmeatrises ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:07 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I am......I'm really hoping you're female and your username means what I think it means.
GoingPole2Pole ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:47:09 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong on both counts there creeper.
mydarkmeatrises ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:42 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Boner's gone.
LGXboxDewNissan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:31 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I am!
superspeck ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:07:35 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, thanks!
fireh0use ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:30:16 on March 21, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
How does this not have more upvotes!?
KEN_JAMES_bitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:23:53 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Chuck Norris definitely lives in Navasota. He's seen around town all the time. Gig em.
benshmuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:27 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! That is pretty awesome...
jhabinsk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Epic.
DorkStar85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:52 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
All of my upvotes for you sir.
Wulfay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:53 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful.
IAmNotaDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:08 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, Chuck Norris
zorinlynx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:33:36 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can you really get your livery license pulled for doing 10 over the limit? That seems excessive...
superspeck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:46:53 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you can. Livery licenses are issued by municipalities in Texas, and are only important inside that municipality -- but you need one to drop someone or pick someone up at IAH and HOU, among other places. In most cases livery licenses only apply to the operator, but in Houston, it is a separate license that requires a clean driving record, regular drug tests, etc. Houston will use any excuse to revoke someone's livery license.
So it's not like losing my driver's license, but for the twenty over I happened to be doing right there where he clocked me (maybe a quarter mile before a ramp... ), yeah, I could have lost the ability to pick up or drop people off in Houston.
morvis343 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:25:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OP please
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:01:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can we hear the steer or queer one? I know it's weird to ask, but I have to know. My curiosity has been piqued.
superspeck ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 15:40:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I was headed to my grandparents' house in Hot Springs, Arkansas. At the time (still around 2006) I was working for Texas A&M University's Athletics department -- and we were issued aggie everything, from sneakers and workout pants to t-shirts and baseball caps. Not having had new clothes in a coon's age, I was wearing what I was issued, so I was decked out head to toe in maroon.
I got off of I-30 to find a Wal-Mart to buy my grandmother flowers. I was buzzing along a back road that was supposed to lead to a town and just enjoying the greenery and twisty roads compared to the flat and brown that I was used to. But I was most certainly out in the "hills an' hollers," the parts of Arkansas where people have two teeth per family and banjo music wafts softly on the breeze.
And then I checked my rearview mirror, and saw SHERIFF spelled backwards about three feet off my bumper. As soon as I took my foot off the gas, he hit the lights. I pulled over.
He gets out of the car and it's like seeing Beaufort T. Justice climbing out of a modern Crown Vic -- he's got the sunglasses, mustache, hat, and all. He sticks his thumbs through his belt loops and swaggers up to the car.
I hand him my ID, and he says, "College Station, eh? I ain't seen nuttin' come outta College Station but steeeeers an' queeeeeeers -- An' I don't see no horns on you, boy!"
In a flash of brilliance, I said, in my best faux southern accent, "Well, sir, I'm workin' fer the Aggies now, and I reckon they done sawed 'em off." (This is a reference to the Texas A&M fight song/war hymn, which has "Saw Texas' Horns Off" as the chorus. And being a steer -- a castrated male bull -- is way better than being a queer if you're in the rural south.)
He let out a single bark of laughter, flicked my ID back in through my window, and walked back to his car. Then he pulled out from behind me, shut off his lights, and sped off on down the road.
Guess he was looking for a queer.
i_fight_rhinos2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:11:57 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I believe you mean, "Saw Varsity's horns off"
jhabinsk ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:14:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You can't just whip out something like that and walk away.
superspeck ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:38:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, here you go
Sweetmilk_ ยท 156 points ยท Posted at 11:32:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The people in the office are looking at me strangely as I gasp for breath. Agreed.
Stelfury ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 11:38:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I got a few strange looks around the office as I sat here smirking trying not to giggle.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:29:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So europe, australia, what is it. Im too lazy to... you know.
Stelfury ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:36:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
England so I guess Europe :)
13104598210 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's still morning here. Don't smile at me.
Stelfury ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:24:47 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Take my smile :D TAKE IT!
De4con ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:15:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's either that, or recording coughing up water into a bucket. Good luck on your show! :)
Sweetmilk_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:18:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you. Thanks :3
Timoff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in tears.
ScreamingSkull ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 12:23:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I somehow got logged out of reddit the other day, and found myself trying to upvote stuff but not being able to due to not being logged in, I would just close the pop up box instead of bothering to enter in my name and password. This story finally convinced me to sign in and make the upvote count. Ironic I suppose.
freudslip101 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:43:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ditto
D0wntherabbithole ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:35:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
""
dlove67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lastpass mang. Never have to log in manually again.
ObliquiOfTheEcliptic ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 12:21:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Screw you guy, with your short comments that I glance at, forcing me to read something.
Stelfury ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:27:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was worth it though, right?
ObliquiOfTheEcliptic ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 12:37:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well.... yeah but that's not the point
Stelfury ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:39:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah you love me for it really. :)
frescani ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:42:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It is known.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:00:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the shit I spend hours wading through cliche comments to find. Best thing I've read on here in months. (obviously it was well written, but the base story is still awesome).
kinard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:20:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, effort outcome ratio is high on this one.
Inkertus_0 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:13:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. This is why he got gold not once or even twice, but three times.
Hourai ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:31:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
5 times now. Worth it.
Inkertus_0 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:34:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Updated as I was writing it. It is that good.
Heroshade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:22 on May 9, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
At time of writing, he has been gilded nine times.
Inkertus_0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:16 on May 9, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Went back and read the post after your stunning 5 month later reply (doesn't Reddit lock things this old?) and had myself a glorious moment reveling in the story again. Thanks.
Heroshade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:01 on May 9, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Any time. Reddit locks things that haven't had a post in six months. So as long as someone posts in this thread every few months, it will never close.
Inkertus_0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:53 on May 9, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
TIL. I did wonder about it. What other Reddit secrets or other uncommonly known information do you know?
Heroshade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:42 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Alas, I am but a man. That's about it.
Smithkobe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:46 on December 6, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
9 times! GOAT
Inkertus_0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:58 on December 6, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa.
wrighttan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:37:03 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Someone translated this into Chinese, and all the Chinese knows this story now...
PapiChurro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit. I read the first paragraph scrolled for next comment then I read this. Now I have the read the whole thing.
TheWildhawke ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:15:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen five months of Gold so well earned.
bullshitname0906 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Definition of badass.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seconded
syrendo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed!
Thelazywaffleman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome
lightning87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I read this while waking up and I'm not sure if I thought this or I accidentally read your comment before I finished and you made me think it. My brain hurts.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I concur.
neoballoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's like a scene out of Heller's masterpiece
alperpier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:44 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You have more upvotes than him. Reddit.
Butterfield133 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:54 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I second that !
Abibliophobia_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, I am your eyes.
Stelfury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:02:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you are? Will you please stop going blurry every now and then? Thank you.
holycrapmyskinisblac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a US sailor, can confirm does happen.
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 11:43:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thejam15 ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 11:55:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The ONLY time the comment is appropriate enough.
mystichobo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:11:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's never appropriate IMO. The whole point of having upvote and downvote arrows is to quickly voice your opinion without having to resort to one word comment spam.
thejam15 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:47:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But the reply button is closer to my cursor.
Blastface ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:23:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In a thread about the laziest thing you've ever done, this is allowed.
SpartanAltair15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:31 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One click vs click reply, click in the box, shift + T, h, i, s, ., click post.
Nah, still lazier to upvote.
chanzjj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:53:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This.
Lesar7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah you sonuvabitch I was gonna do that.
zebrake2010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Stelfury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR Operations Officer of a US military ship orders the bridge to change course by about 15 degrees just so he could get the sun out of his face while eating a bagel.
gravelpit ยท 401 points ยท Posted at 21:00:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sent this comment to my father (about 5 years from retiring from the Navy) and this was his reply:
"Umm, actually yes, I have done almost exactly that. But instead of moving the sun, we were sailing back across the Atlantic and the course we were on was causing interference with the satellite tv while a football game was on (because the satellite receivers was blocked by the mast) so I called and had them change course by about 15 degrees!"
Typical sailors.
jbaird ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 19:03:17 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
There as an episode of This America Life a while back where they visisted an aircraft carrier. According to that during the Superbowl they would plot a course towards the direction that gave them the best signal for the game as the slowest speed they could. When halftime hit they turned the ship around and raced back to the start so they could do it again for the second half. Murica.
[deleted] ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 04:24:44 on March 17, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
There are thousands of kings in history who would have killed their firstborn son to even glimpse a machine as awe inspiring and ball shrivelingly awesome as an American Aircraft carrier, and to those men it was nothing but a nuisance that prevented them from watching 22 men throw a football around.
God Bless America.
Antebios ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:39:43 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory: 'MURICA, FUCK YEAH!
Shevacai ยท 1605 points ยท Posted at 09:10:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats fucking brilliant.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
it's so brilliant it might just...
ubsr1024 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's Fucking Metal
me_and_batman ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 20:39:14 on April 21, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure how true this is, but a friend of a friend supposedly did the following.
He was a midshipman at USNA and during the summer was on a ship (not sure what type) to get a first hand experience of being an officer in the Navy. One of the requirements of the summer assignment is hold the #2 post at some point. Like most, he gets this job at night since there is less to screw up. #1 goes for a nap and leaves the midshipman in charge. He doesn't tell him how long he's going to be gone, but midshipman figure it out pretty quick.
Being the kind of "Do first, ask later" person you always want in charge of your military equipment, the midshipman asks the guys at the ships control if he is technically in charge. "Aye, sir."
"Hmmmmm, full right rudder."
"Confirm, full right rudder?"
"Aye"
"Aye, sir. Full right rudder!"
Supposedly the ship spent about 45 minutes doing circles in the ocean. The crew thought this was funny break from their usual nightly routine, and the midshipman was just hanging out enjoying being "in charge". The real officer wakes up and comes back furious. He yells at everyone and then makes sure that no one ever tells their superiors this story. #1 knew he wasn't supposed to be sleeping, so if anything he would have gotten in trouble for it all.
But that's the story of how a junior year midshipman sent one of the US Navy's ships in circles in the middle of the night.
youareallnuts ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 11:18:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The greatest story ever told. I am in awe.
[deleted] ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 11:40:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RoboRay ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 15:54:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, you're familiar with sailors.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:33:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A porn magazine?
DogeSaint-Germain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:38:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
''Better nate than lever'' would have been so much better with this at the end.
kmwalk14 ยท 190 points ยท Posted at 11:02:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The Procrastination has found our King. We must notify him, tomorrow.
ethosaur ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 12:29:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Woah woah whoah slow down there, don't you mean next month?
Redrakerbz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe... I need to send a letter first, and it needs the wax and the seal. eh, I'm sure it would be ok if OP kinda just sits on the chair that the king sits on? It's not like anyone would stop him.
ethosaur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:45:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Impeesa_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:48 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well ultimately it's a meaningless distinction to make anyways, but it's not truly great procrastination without that faint spark of ambition, you know?
ethosaur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:35 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I will reply with a more fleshed out comment in a few weeks.
skleroos ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 10:29:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in love.
Zooga_Boy ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 10:43:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I want to be a fraction of the genius this man is.
Salivanth ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 11:23:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait a minute.
Did that conversation occur exactly as you described it? Because the way you described it...he never actually gave the "one six five", he just CONFIRMED it...which would mean he does this on a regular enough basis for the bridge to know what he's doing and why.
This makes it even funnier.
InternetFree ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 14:06:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the conversation, for example:
Could you change the patrol?
-Of course, is there a specific course you want us to set?
Yes, one-six-five.
Salivanth ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 14:11:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
True.
HowardStark ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 15:45:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Magnetic.
heretohelp13 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:23:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relative.
HowardStark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ow, you ground one of my NAV gears with that one. Well, I opened the door to this, didn't I?
ladyshanksalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
North?
whubbard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:09 on March 6, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Just found this comment, wonderful pun here. I wonder how many actually got it other than /u/HowardStark.
Salivanth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:29 on March 7, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to disappoint you, but there was no pun intended, and even looking at it now I don't see one.
whubbard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:04 on March 7, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
When you are giving bearing, it would be True, Magnetic or Relative.
The last thing in the post above yours was a bearing. It was also correct. So by following his post with True, it made sense to follow the bearing and to confirm his post as correct.
That's why the other guy relied with magnetic. Saying that it wasn't 165 True but 165 Magnetic.
Salivanth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:50 on March 7, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. Neat :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:35 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Could you change the patrol? -Of course, is there a specific course you want us to set?
Nah, just... just change it. You know. Fuck this particular course.
andyourubinsometubs ยท 223 points ยท Posted at 10:51:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Almost too lazy to read this. Then I saw the comments. Okay, here I go.
Edit: So worth it.
Fartmatic ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 12:57:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah similar thought process here, 2800 points and x3 gold in just 3 hours, alright fuck it I'll read it.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:54:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
4000 Karma and 5 x Gold in 6 hours. Wonder how high it'll go?
boredextremely ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:49:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Evening out at 4000 karma and 6 gold 12hours in.
TupperWolf ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:01:29 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Someone was kind enough to sneak in a seventh gold. Thanks all.
Dijla ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:21:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
make it 8
pretentiousglory ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:20 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nine.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:05:43 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And hasn't edited it to say thanks even once. I like this guy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:00 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
10761 karma 9xgold
[deleted] ยท 172 points ยท Posted at 09:18:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This has made my entire month.
wpiman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For a thread on laziness, Redditos sure like to give gold. That take a surprising amount of work. You have to pull out your credit card. Too much for me.
Valkryth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paypal, man. type in a password and BAM.
alystair ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 11:19:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if there is a book out there with a collection of stories like this from the Navy, that's brilliant.
tee2green ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:35:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Assumed the Watch: Moored as Before" by Fitzgibbons is absolutely hilarious. Really short and easy read. Highly recommend.
alystair ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:09:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks a bunch!
bubblecube ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 10:31:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is truly brilliant
lasagnwich ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 10:47:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best one by far
DatMX5 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 11:26:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't have the resources to be this lazy otherwise I would be.
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 10:50:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We have a winner. I knew it was coming as soon as he picked up the phone but I had to read the whole thing to live a tiny moment in the reflected genius of this man.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 11:32:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Being ex army and a former lazy soldier, I bow down to this man. Thank you for this story.
seitgeist ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:37:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What does barpat mean?
RoboRay ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:01:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Barrier Patrol.
Or, steaming back and forth, back and forth, across a specific area, probably with other ships patrolling adjacent areas, forming a barrier.
TupperWolf ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:03:34 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Correct.
seitgeist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:01:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:29:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This guy is a champ!
ohpooryorick ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:47:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This story justifies all the insane military spending in the US.
hveiti ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:33:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been a professional writer for close to a decade now, and I just have to say JESUS CHRIST, dude. Please stop doing military and start doing words. The world will thank you for it somewhere down the line. Promise.
TupperWolf ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:03:19 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! Much appreciated.
simeoon ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:29:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Trying not to cry laugh in the middle of class
smokemonkey ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:40:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Vote the fuck up. There ought to be a sea story subreddit.
Slipslap1234 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:31:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that is quite possily one of the most awesome things i have ever read!
spotzel ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:40:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
im gonna note down the "zombie with a bagel" you magnificent bastard
zach2thefuture ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:13:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This would be a story about officers.
inoahlot4 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:47:03 on April 21, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
how do you only have 4000 comment karma if this comment has 10,000?
TupperWolf ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:36:38 on May 6, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it really has 10,000 up votes. When it was fresh, it leveled out somewhere around 4,500, if I recall. When I come back to it from the occasional response like this, it always has weird ass numbers. I don't use this account much, but I've seen it jump between 6k, 4k, and 10k. Glitch in the matrix I guess.
Ars2012 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:06:44 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you use the account :(
tittyfig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:14 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Probably, like, a FUCK ton of downvotes.
WaryCamel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:09:25 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I must shake this mans hand
dragon925 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:54:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You had me at "zombie with a bagel."
KauaiGirl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:28:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is sloth that I can respect!
littlemikemac ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:02:02 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Is this where the whole sunglasses and "Deal with it" came from?
Sapratz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:54:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
coast guard?
TupperWolf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:06:11 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Semper P
Sapratz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:27 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
what cutter?
TupperWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:46:54 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather not say, but it was an MEC, and it was many years ago.
Sapratz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:26 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
did you goto ocs or acad
Qxyd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:42:00 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fear not reddit, 9gag made sure this fun story goes around.
And ohh,almost forgot, they removed writer and source too
pottymouthgrl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:12 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom just showed me this story. Apparently it's going around Facebook through 9gag.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:37:56 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
9GAG ran this comment as an article the day after it was posted. Color me surprised.
ihsnh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:17:48 on May 3, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could be like that man!
Synaesthetics ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:48:02 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
annnnd then 9gag came along and stole your reply and made a post out of it. http://9gag.com/gag/aqmGVoY
TupperWolf ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:44:59 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I should probably object and demand recognition... but I might just be too lazy.
Crabby090 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:34 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am having a lot of fun redirecting me 9gag-friends to your original comment. Thanks for sharing!
kittypuppet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:38 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A facebook page did the same.
ponikweGCC ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:51:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as I read: "he picked up his phone..." I knew, I just KNEW, I was about to read something truly magical.
I was not disappointed.
MrJollyRogers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:53:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Aaand now I can stop reading this thread because I've found the best... Fuck it, too lazy to think of something clever.
CoachMingo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:01:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Winner, winner, zombie bagel dinner
secretlyapineapple ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:21:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
10/10
W1ULH ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:34:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
that's...that's beautiful
coolatomic360 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:05:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking perfect.
iDebra ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:05:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is in fact awesome
kairla8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:00:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That was amazing. And scary. And brilliantly ignorant. I'm impressed.
compdud ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:06:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
your storytelling skills are fucking awesome...
FreddieBrek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:04:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That was really well written, and hilarious.
GaryV83 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:21:46 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Goddam, only in the Navy. Your Ops makes me proud to have been in the service.
salute
downvoted_your_mom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:45:21 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
holy crap, that's the most gold I've seen someone get
TupperWolf ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:48:24 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit has been quite generous. I'm on my phone but I believe it's up to 9 at this point.
CedarWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:57 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Well done, sir. Well done indeed.
SlayBelle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:39:30 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You know your comment is great when you read it - the same day - posted on someone's FB wall and go back to Reddit to re-read it.
This is amazing.
SpinningDespina ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:31:01 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This post was taken to facebook and regurgitated onto tumblr and now has over 70000 reblogs.
PurpleTaste ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:50:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit i laughted for 5 min in middle of the class... thanks made my day
neondemon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:28:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
+/u/bitcointip 0.0003 BTC
m3me ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my fuck, this is simply incredible.
SeegurkeK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:44:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Great story, great writing style. Now if my prof wouldn't look at me so funny for laughing in class.
racer6r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:47:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That was purely awesome, thank you.
Wookiee81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:03:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This man is without a doubt my new hero, thank you so much for sharing this. I have new goals to aspire to.
LegionsofRome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:11:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing. Commenting to save!
WisDumbb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:13:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Take my upvote. No questions, just take it.
iswearimnorml ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I reddit.
lilbee14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant laziness. I'm not so sure I would want him to be my officer thought
HotakiPashtun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of the best things I have ever read on reddit.
rolfo87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:28:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I get your username
hellzabeth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:28:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just read this out to my group of equally bleary eyed friends at our table. Slowclaps abound.
Kalderon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:31:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brav-fucking-o to that guy. thanks for sharing that one.
antruffino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That was. Perfect.
420bot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is absolutely incredible
hardypart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:39:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What a glorious last sentence! :) This story really made my day :)
Dasbaus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I have ever been this impressed before.
hjkim1304 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are a great writer.
Alphafax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:57:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been laughing at this for 3 minutes straight now. This is probably the greatest thing I've ever read.
Leaxe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This story has some awesome imagery.
ILikeMyBlueEyes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit dude! That is fucking hilarious and awesome as fuck!
motorcyclesnracecars ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That... [wipes tears] that's beautiful.
Joorkax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for sharing, that was hilarious.
dolorismachina ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant story. May I ask what kind of ship was it?
ewitzolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:13:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I concur with Stelfury, this is one of the best things I've ever read as well... Ever. Holy shit-balls...
BornUnderPunches ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
... aaand /thread
rivfadder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your story is awesome of course, but your description/narrative was nothing short of brilliant. Hats off.
de1vos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha! Would have been so fun to be you there to see him actually do it in person!
yourefunny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Im am going to tell so many people about this! Thanks for a great anecdote!!
Soyance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is the best lazy sorry ever.
ExtremePapa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You have a way of telling a story, even in text.
localh81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for making me cry with laughter.
funmrwuffles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:07:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is so great words cant describe
lisfb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:20:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That was so incredibly fantastic to read.
Princess_Honey_Bunny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best story Ive ever read on Reddit.
Cgsuave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is just masterfully written. I smiled for minutes after reading it.
toilet_crusher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
oh my god, my sides. really well told story.
Davedamon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I could visualize every moment of that wonderful tale in my minds eye. That was brilliant good sir, it saddens me I have but one upvote to give!
TheNEMKE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I become a redditor. Thanks for the story.
Rubix22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It took me forever to finish reading that, the more I read the more I couldn't stop laughing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I reread this a good 15 times because of how great this is.
404fucksnotavailable ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have enough accounts to upvote you with, this is probably my favorite story ever.
I'm so sorry reddit, I mentioned "upvote" please don't send me to oblivion.
beadyox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:07:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the hardest I've ever laughed at something on reddit. Which is to say I actually laughed. But laughed so hard I'm crying.
JUGGERNAUT0014 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god...the tears...can't breathe..
WilburTronix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm thoroughly impressed by this story telling. At first I thought it was about a lazy Operations Officer, but after re-reading I realized it was about a poor bagel being bit by a Zombie and consequently turning into a bagel Zombie.
Bad_At_Qwop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
10/10 would read again
SisterBob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Read aloud to my wife, also a zombie in mornings, resulted in Cheerios nearly out her nose. Well played, sir.
dream6601 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OMG!
So I'm reading this and I get to
I laughed so hard I started crying... it literrally took me 2 more minutes before I could finish reading the story.
Well done I am in awe of that man.
NoFunHere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A better story has never been told. Thanks TupperWolf!
Dynasty2201 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in tears.
This is fucking amazing.
ChromeLynx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations, your story of Zombie OPS has scored you about 4k comment karma and 5 months of gold in six hours. How do you feel about this?
BEZthePEZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't buy you gold, but if you are ever in NYC I'll buy you the best beer of your life.
Remote_Start ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They need to make this into a feature length film.
[deleted] ยท 3328 points ยท Posted at 05:36:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
jkdarlton ยท 1396 points ยท Posted at 07:39:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Antique Roadshow is the shit.
[deleted] ยท 176 points ยท Posted at 09:10:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mijamala1 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:46:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mark Walhburg would read this, try to remember being on antiques roadshow, then squint and say "huh?" and "What?" Several times over.
AJockeysBallsack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And then blind a guy and say it's okay because he has forgiven himself.
garbonzo607 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:42:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
YOU MET MARK WALHBERG AT THE ANTIQUES ROADSHOW????
Wait, why was Mark Walhberg there?
Oh.
OSouup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Los like it only took you 10 seconds to explain that.
packerfanforlife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remember he used to host a game show called Russian Roulette and he would always make a point to be referred to as Mark L Walhberg to not be confused with the other one.
Sarvish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:15 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Russian Roulette was hilarious and really good. I wish it would make a comeback
jkdarlton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I want to go to there.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:51:05 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
edselpdx ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 11:21:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's Show & Tell for grown ups.
live_wire_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/wheredidthesodago
hett ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:08:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That link is completely irrelevant. Happy cake day.
live_wire_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:20:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oops. Replied to the wrong comment.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:37:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ioweaniowan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:05:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or the drama
endercoaster ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:04:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Antique Roadshow is everything that's good about Pawn Stars without the shit that sucks about it.
Bleuy007 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:45:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Knock-off Mark Wahlberg for the fuckin win bitch
ruthskaterginsburg ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:26:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If this were a real Mark Wahlberg, by a conservative estimate, it might bring anywhere from four to five thousand dollars at auction. But given that this one has never been verified as belonging to the Funky Bunch, I guess what you have here is a nice decorative piece with a great story attached. Thanks so much for bringing this in.
honi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:31:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
it's my ringtone!
svenson_26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are probably a really neat person.
AdmiralTiger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:57:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Right? It's on Netflix, I've watched all of the streaming ones in a weekend.
Wooberg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:49:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only 20 episodes whyyyyyyyy
xRavien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like how the participants play off that they're not going to sell their family heirlooms five minutes after the cameras turn off once they find out they're worth thousands.
airial ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:54:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They actually can't. They're not allowed to contact anyone from the show until after taping for the entire day has finished.
Appraisers are not even allowed to show that they're interested in purchasing a piece they've appraised on camera.
I_REMOVE_COCKS ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:29:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This happens to me with infomercials. I just have to convince myself the product is interesting.
sayaandtenshi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:59:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I watch it for the terrible acting
xRavien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:52:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08xQLGWTSag
omgnodoubt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:51:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, I fucking love antique roadshow, guessing how much things are going to be is half the fun.
svenson_26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I love antiques road show. There is only one problem I have with it. It gives people hope. It makes them think that their worthless shit is not worthless.
StereotypicalAussie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:48 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The Aussie version is just shit. The oldest things we get are like less than 100 years old.
HeavyP33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Frasier Crane?
C22H30O4N6S ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend and I spent most of a weekend playing a drinking game to Antiques Roadshow whilst we were dog sitting at my parents house. I meant to go to the actual roadshow in September but forgot :(
havebananas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:34 on April 21, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Lol what were the rules?
C22H30O4N6S ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:59 on April 21, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Each person playing guesses a value for the antique before the expert reveals it but after some information has been revealed about its age/significance, whoever is furthest from the actual value takes a shot. Seeing as they do about 20 antiques per show and I tend to play with only two or three people it tends to get everyone drunk quite fast.
I'm actually going to a valuation day at the end of May with a friend that plays it with me often.
havebananas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:07 on April 21, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant. Daytime drinking is the best drinking.
C22H30O4N6S ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:47 on April 21, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Both people I've played it with most have developed quite the thing for Fiona Bruce as well. It's a great game, the more you drink the more interesting the show becomes.
Laudenum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:19 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
slap
efhs ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Almost didn't see "the", almost downvoted you.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Antique Roadshow is shit.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:26:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You have an extra "the" in there
satansmight ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 06:26:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this too.
No cat.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:21:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wasn't even flipping through channels.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:54:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I misread this as 2 years of antique roadshow.
danieltobey ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:04:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some say he's still watching to this day...
Shawer ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:51:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Easily solvable problem:
Throw remote at cat
Download remote app on phone
Two birds one remote
Slade645 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:39:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Best one thus far.
Spmsl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:11:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is why God gave us the gift of throwing things at cats.
BoulderCat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:30:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when the cats do that! I'm too lazy to move their lazy asses so I just sit there and suffer. Or I try to throw things at them to move but I miss by miles and then I'm left without the things I was throwing.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:11:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You win have some gold.
StephenBuckley ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lazy Battle!
Klepisimo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can we do it later?
Not feeling up to it.
pepsilala ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:03:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lets get together
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:45:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Talk about pussy whipped
teaislovely ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:30:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You don't really have a cat, do you.
Dictator_Piggles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:07:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is it bad I probably would have found something to throw near the cat to make it move?
irving47 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ka-ching!
Dysaniaj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My cat slept on my chest and I couldn't reach the remote. The worst part is there was people in the other room who I could have yelled at to help me out. I just embraced it and watched tv.
Wiggles7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You didnt have a shoe to throw at it?
w0den ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:18:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
me too but it was my dog and i proceeded to throw the remote at him, i didn't realise i couldn't switch chancels without the remote at that point so i just watched some shitty history shizzle
stabliu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i'm hoping the cat kind of fell asleep mid jump and just landed in front of the sensor
249ba36000029bbe9749 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Remote sensors belong at the top of the screen. Yes, I know it would cost $.03 more per unit to put it there but that doesn't mean make it any less true.
Tabtykins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar experience with reruns of the extra factor. It was after new years so the x factor was well over (I hadn't watched it anyway) but I was hungover and couldn't make myself get up to fetch the remote.
Majimanidoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You do not need a reason to watch antique roadshow. This is by far the single greatest masterpiece to grace TVs.
ScrapBuilder774 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once watched two hours of antique roadshow because antique roadshow!
UnauditedSphinx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your cat fell asleep mid-jump?
Damn, that's impressive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Antique Roadshow is the shit.
joewersd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:25:05 on January 2, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Similar story. Woke up in my friends bed after night of drinking and the telly was on mute on one of those telly shopping channels, so I just sat there for hours watching people trying to sell me things with no sound
Tampoonie ยท 1395 points ยท Posted at 04:44:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In order to not walk 5 feet to my bed, I decided to fall sleep on my recliner, pulling down the window shade a little extra, so I could use it as a blanket.
Mystified ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 09:09:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did the same thing when I was coming home drunk. Laid on the floor and used a DDR mat for a blanket.
Amp3r ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:18:49 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not as good as the time my room mate used the carpet as a blanket. Yes, pulled up a corner of it and slept on the padding with the carpet over him
metalninjacake2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:18:19 on March 11, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
High school party, still goin strong at like 3-4 AM, but I was done for around 3 or so. I was wandering around and saw a cover for the pool table, the ones where it's leather on one side and velvet on the other. I crawled under the table and cocooned myself up in it entirely, velvet on the inside. Drunk me thought it was awesome. I still think it was awesome and extremely comfortable. No one else gets it.
BETTYxxWHITE ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:55:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I consistently sleep on my comfy couch so I don't have to walk to my bed that's about 20 ft down the hall. It's farther than 5 but still..
iHaveWolfSkinSocks ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 08:22:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done the same thing. Except instead of a recliner it was the bathroom floor, and instead of a window curtain it was a plastic shower curtain. And there was probably more vomit involved than in your situation. Alcohol may have been a contributing factor. I don't remember.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 11:31:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love sleeping on the bathroom floor when too drunk! It's so warm and cosy, the towels are right there if I need a blanket and the toilet is right there for all my vomit needs.
One time I was apparently so drunk, that I got to the bathroom, pulled down my pants and boxers, leaving the coat on and just fell asleep like that. When I woke up in the morning, I saw that my gf was laying on the other side of the bathroom in the same state of undress - no pants and panties, but still in her winter coat.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:21:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Best thing ever
extraeme ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:38:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I want a girl with no skirt and a loooooong jacket.
Calsmokes ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:08:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What kindof window shade serves as a blanket?!?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:48:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this was called everyday life. Hmmm... TIL?
aragogogara ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:42:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hilarious.
Sky_Light ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:02:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a rule, I buy furniture based solely on how comfortable it is to sleep on.
iamarouet ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:00:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A recliner is more comfortable than a bed.
pepsilala ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:01:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you an Aussie too?
Kelcius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, you have a recliner facing the window (also considering you said you pulled the window shade a LITTLE extra it must be right in front of the window)? Or did you sleep with a window shade over your face?
Tampoonie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I curled up sideways and almost got the shade all the way up to my neck.
Kelcius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:57 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Okay that just leaves one question. Why is it facing the window?
Tampoonie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:32 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was just next to the window. I was to lazy to even make it recline
Subrotow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sleep on my recliner. I don't want to go up the ladder to my loft about 1 foot away.
haffbaked ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is just ridiculous haha
TheDezertRacer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:58 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have an upvote my lazy friend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Charming in a hobo sort of way.
soxfan17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like to call this Friday night.
stratomaster21 ยท 6768 points ยท Posted at 02:07:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shot ~10 nerf darts at my light switch, from bed. Missed all of them and slept with the lights on.
DeHart666 ยท 2119 points ยท Posted at 04:26:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Solution:If you never turn the lights on, you don't have to turn them off.
WEIGHED ยท 2194 points ยท Posted at 05:19:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once laid in bed so long, they turned the lights off for me by non-payment of the bill.
_vOv_ ยท 961 points ยท Posted at 06:08:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you now fused to the bed?
IAMA_Ghost_Boo ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 07:57:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He is the bed. I hear he's a temper pedic though so at least he has that going for him.
RecycledCan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:14:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah he really can't hold in his emotions.
thechilipepper0 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:39:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll give you that one
servimes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
temper sentient*
make_love_to_potato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well at least he's helping that poor Alsatian.
Allyal ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:44:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Part of the bed, part of the crew
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bed sore props...eww
armorandsword ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:03:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt will drop by shortly
conwako ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That was easily the most horrifying part of that movie.
Diacide ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:18:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am become bed, destroyer of worlds.
super_awesome_jr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:18:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am become bed.
mrforrest ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:15:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin Spacey was kind enough to hang some air fresheners for him.
LittleTiny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:24:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Naaah, he just didn't have the power to get up.
dmcnelly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"I wash myself with a rag on a stick."
JustMe036 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cold welding
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now he is the bed!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And lost the keys in the fridge
patropolis55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nah he's broke
jackorig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The electric company took those too
UkePlayingDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
'Til death do them apart.
SavingYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:06 on December 6, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rachezz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:05 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
When was I not?
Moxay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's dead.
NicolasCageIsMyHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine him as that guy from se7en
painfullyalone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:05:10 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Half bed, half man, all attitude... NapMan!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:01:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I remember you from Se7en.
peoplearejustpeople9 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:42:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually a good idea; a service where you call your electric company and tell them to shut off your electricity for the night. No need to get up from bed.
tipsana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:03:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wash myself with a rag on a stick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I too remember that post.
PASS_THE_FUCKING_KFC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:54:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How long is a long bed?
DUGVNATIXN ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:22:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe this. You would have to lay in bed non stop for at least 3 months maybe 2 and a half. You would get bed sores and smell like Miley Cyrus's career. Shit.
Username1080 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:27:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wooosh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
applause
Timbo2702 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Depends how late he already was with the bill
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really should have weighed your priorities.
protatoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Been there :(. Glad you're still here
JulianForscht ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ewww.
josh2067 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
proving a point!
Tulki ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:35:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bueno.
just_llamas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:44:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Taken 2?
wolfkin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:41:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you for got "Your Mama's so lazy" in front of that.
Jules_Be_Bay ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:31:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
W
CJ_Guns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:33:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I usually turn only one small night light on in the entire house during darkness...ever. That's in the bathroom, so I can see if there is still shit on the toilet paper or not when wiping.
Funionlover ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:07:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just throw clothes over my lamp till it's dark enough or the house burns down
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:44:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah ha! But what about the monsters?!
undercover_aliens ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:31:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
^ True. When i'm ninjaing my way around with the lights off, the monsters eventually do come to get me.
luckiest_wasp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine waited three weeks before changing the blown light bulb in his bedroom
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:13:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
colourmeblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really just jealous you have a walk-in closet
Mustardtigerjack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've waited at least a month, maybe a month and a half due to the fact that my phone can provide enough light to get by. It wasn't until a guest needed to stay in my room that I was supposed to fix it in which case, I did NOT in fact fix it, someone else did and never told me about it.
thegeocash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats my secret...my room is always dark.
idefix_the_dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, you're looking at this the wrong way. He clearly needs more nerf darts.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I often use my phone's LED flash when going to bed.
teegless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Life hacks
bajaja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
or wait till you need to piss. the time's gonna come, trust me.
ALyinKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Logic is sound.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
More practical solution: use lamps next to the bed.
Fender45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats my secret, they're always off
Lando24 ยท 1854 points ยท Posted at 04:25:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried the same but with one shoe at the switch, missed. Second shoe at the bulb, glass everywhere.
GodoggoJeff ยท 1863 points ยท Posted at 04:42:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
DRUNK OR KID TIME!
edit: Top comment and all that, thanks folks!
The_Vork ยท 642 points ยท Posted at 06:36:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like it was drunk.
Lando24 ยท 1675 points ยท Posted at 06:42:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes on you, I was a drunk kid
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 06:59:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
girrrrrrr2 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 07:12:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kid at heart.
Brutalitarian ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 07:15:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drunk at heart.
shadowdsfire ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:11:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
And I thought I was the only one injecting alcohol directly in my heart!
mantequillarse ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 09:19:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
You are, in fact, the only one injecting alcohol directly into your fireplace.
edit: this was funny and then you changed your comment. thanks. really, thanks.
MajorButtface ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:39:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You got robbed.
sillypwilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He robbed you.
FortBriggs ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:29:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Poor baby, have my uovote. Its not much but all I can offer atm.
GodoggoJeff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like an unsafe practice..I recommend less pulp fiction
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drunken fart.
darkcyril ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ice Cold Colt 45 with that user name.
sashaaa123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's 89 years old.
GodoggoJeff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Awe yes , my drunken third grade years are fond, blurry, fingerprint filled memories.
WhaleMetal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"You said they'd be left at the city under my supervision!"
chorroxking ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:01:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/drunkorakid
Teralon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
KID
IAmGnome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or sober and 40.
geoflause88 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:30:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
#SoberAnd40
PunkRockMcLovin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You people are everywhere now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
RaptorJesus93 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:54:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/drunkorakid
Dabuscus214 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:55:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/drunkorakid
tatorface ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 07:44:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
Elbonio ยท 149 points ยท Posted at 05:25:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least the light was off though, right?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:29:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but the filament lit the shoe on fire, so it was still way too light.
Zelxinoe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:59:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have you tagged as Iron Man, and for the life of me I can't remember why.
Doggy_In_The_Window ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:19:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because he does EXTREME IRONING! It's somewhere in his history I think.. Pretty intense stuff.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:42:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, but I tagged you as "He can't remember why he tagged Elbonio as 'The Iron Man'", just to see if I run into you again some random day to ask you why I have you tagged as that.
Zelxinoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good idea, report back with results.
Elbonio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Extreme ironing at area 51 most likely
Zelxinoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh damn, he definitely deserves that tag.
thestickystickman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:00:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who throws a shoe?
BennyBlancoFromBx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:48:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly...
DaRealCoreyAlexie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:23:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lol Mr.Bean
wolfkin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
how i see it
http://i.imgur.com/AdujGDV.png
_vOv_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mission accomplished.
timtamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But at least the light was out after that!
bimmercire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
atleast the light was finally off.
bluewolf37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friend tried to turn off the light with a sword....We had to replace the light switch.
timthetollman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Result
Lando24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously I just went to sleep and dealt with it the next day.
wellscounty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wait I thought you were blind; just a little higher!
Flaba44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did you stay in bed?
michaelconnery1985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And 4 years later you haven't swept the glass away
Lando24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I moved 3 years ago, so I left it for the new owners.
mja42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It worked though, didn't it.
weirdears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, the Mr Bean approach to turning off the lights. If in doubt, smash the bulb.
IPlei ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:26:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why did you have shoes in your room?
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 3440 points ยท Posted at 02:09:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dedication.
TranquilTree ยท 498 points ยท Posted at 02:44:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sloth
[deleted] ยท 322 points ยท Posted at 03:42:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Schfifty426 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As in the literal sense of sloths? Cause those animals suck to hang around with.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:52:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Xhampster?
drawingdead0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
paging /u/theNYEHHH
Mrubuto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
love those guys. subscribed.
TheUltimateSloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You know it!
mad87645 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They are sooooo fucking stoned.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:19:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Such a pain
firefighterfrank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
YES. I'm watching that show right now! You deserve gold my friend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Best 64 episodes of my life, almost cried at the end, watched it all again about a week after finishing it, so many feels, yet to watch the original series though
TheSlothRapist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:16:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
the fuck you say
TooApologetic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The only sin that comes in three-toed varieties.
AtomicMonkeyTheFirst ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It just occured to me that the sloth is the only animal actually named after a sin. That's how fucking lazy they are. Imagine if we called Hippo's 'greeds'.
le_cmpunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:49 on December 6, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Chunk.
Maverickki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7143089920/h7063922B/
asrign ยท 2232 points ยท Posted at 03:35:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bedication
Just_like_my_wife ยท 784 points ยท Posted at 03:55:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddication.
Squatch_Crotch ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 07:03:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Let the drummer kick, the drummer kick that. Let the drummer kick, the drummer kick that.
redcaspus33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good to see i wasnt the only one who started singing that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because were apparently too lazy to kick it ourselves.
Hiicantpk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damnit, now I want to watch Accepted again.
oranjeeleven ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:27:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
-tion.
canuckfanatic ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:37:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Elation
sohidden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ph ph-ph-felation
Harrysoon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:44:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Psychic spies from China try to steal your mind's elation.
Zak37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Medication
Fleetus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Medication
Magmatron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Medication
miked923 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:36:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fornication?
SuettiJim ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:25:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eat some steak.
Raherin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:50:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think you guys need meddication.
Ryo95 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:57:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Medication?
SamCropper ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:18:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Medication
ymda ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:15:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Medication
Deathius ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:39:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That pun just might be the laziest thing you've ever done...
valkillmer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:01:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
no breathing.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:24:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Medication..
tluck81 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:38:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Californication.
daBroviest ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:01:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just like your wife.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
education.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:55:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
bastardization
frankspinkled ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:13:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Californiacation
sniffing_accountant ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbation
ONE_ANUS_FOR_ALL ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mastication
bongobongobong ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Domestication
sdbgt ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckyounation.
Jahar_Narishma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Upvotation
teeBoan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Railway Station
ArtfulBadgerNZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Participation
dafukisgoingon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downvotemycommentation
hazymayo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dedication. D'oh!
ragebomber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ammunition
murica4357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
deportation
ragebomber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Amputation
murica4357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
constapation
ragebomber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Immalation
ONE_ANUS_FOR_ALL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Incantation
Tycoonkoz ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mastercation.
CanISeeYourGuitar ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sub-Zero WINS. Redditality
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:07:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
dicktation
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:26:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:37:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pawelczyk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:45:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Please stop
Naughtyburrito ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 06:47:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.
Gudakesa_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And im just sitting here... masturbation.
drgonzoTO ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:01:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ever notice how the word bed looks like a bed.... Im going to bed right now in fact.
Also try to unsee that :P
ArborealHustle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holyyyyy shit.
way_fairer ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mastercation.
sohidden ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:54:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nofap is over there. ----->
vpatrick ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:11:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a RHCP album
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
dat bedication doe
Bronsonite ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
From now on, this will be my most used term for laziness.
SuettiJim ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 08:13:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eat some steak.
Griz-Lee ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:35:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
medication, bro you cray cray
Naughtyburrito ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.
librbmc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too dedicated to be lazy, laziness is dedications arch-enemy
NorsteinBekkler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not unless he threw the gun too.
Lee1138 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, that requires too much effort..
masturbatory_rag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is the opposite of dedication you turd
Cornered_Animal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He should apply some of that dedication to improving his aim.
Chickendipper69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:58:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've pointed a laser pointer at my door until my cat jumped on it and shut it for me.
B-)
Deckard_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
dedi whatever
SilverCentury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dedication, Destination: isolation. A separation from the superstition of illumination. Delegation. A hurdle to overcome to none of this sleepers devastation. Procrastination.
Kimbernomics ยท 315 points ยท Posted at 03:54:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
By chance, was alcohol a precursor to this activity?
stratomaster21 ยท 525 points ยท Posted at 04:04:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely.
CatchFilletRelease ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:39:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
as in vodka?
stratomaster21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, but definitely not Absolut. This was in college, so it was probably some $12 for a handle, plastic bottle gut rot.
phisherman77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Absolute.
educated_guesst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ABSOLUTely
CarnitasWhey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Absolut
Marco_de_Pollo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Absolut-ly?
angelust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Absolut-ly?
Maxwell1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Svedkaly.
donkeyballz69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:05:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When isn't alcohol a precursor to any activity?
Netham45 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:06:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol's great.
DookieMuncher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:53:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He was either drunk or a Stormtrooper
redcaspus33 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:29:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No lots of trees were
[deleted] ยท 350 points ยท Posted at 03:13:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least you shot the light switch and 10 times. You did an effort. If you were with me, I'd be the one faking to be asleep so you'd have to turn the light off.
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 04:50:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhhh...I do that to my husband.
ethanlan ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:22:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ASSUMING HE WOULD NOT BE DOING THE SAME
edit: Shit, caps. Whateves, I'm sticking with it.
_vOv_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:09:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
and I will be the one not giving a fuck and kicking your ass until you wake up and get the light
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:42:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say you were my girlfriend, but she just falls asleep and makes me do it.
At least she goes all the way... If you get my meaning.
creativexangst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She falls in deep sleep instead of R.E.M sleep?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:08:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this so people will close the door or turn the light off for me. Works like a charm. Laziness and manipulative skills +1
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy geez, I forgot I used to do that when I was younger.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:41:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is something we grow out of? O.O
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. Probably not. I just remember when I was younger I would fake sleep. I was afraid of turning the light off, because a monster could get me before I got to my bed. If I was already in bed and someone else turned it off, I was safe. Logic.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:20 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I'd do the same thing! I would also keep all my limbs underneath the blanket and assume no damn monster could grab me if I was under my covers :P
bunnylebowski1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:28 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I still do that as an adult. Haha.
Fedak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd just fall asleep with the lights on.
darkenrhall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Girls. Fucking baffle me.
kgaragetech ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:14:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why not throw your Nerf gun at the lightswitch as a last attempt?
bilog78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:16:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too much effort.
funktion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I wanted to move my arms in strenuous ways I'd have become a baseball player.
kathoron ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:50:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a similar dilemma every night. Cat opens bedroom door, throw all the pillows on my bed at the door until it closes, sleep with no pillows
happybadger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to line the bottom of your door with grocery bags. Cats hate the sound plastic bags make and will avoid the door.
CheesySandwiches ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:51:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
... really? Because every cat I've known has gone crazy playing with empty plastic shopping bags.
happybadger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:59:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
All of mine have been terrified by them, but they've also only been raised around paper and cloth. In the other room I have a warhammer made of them that I swing around when he's being a little shit and nothing sends him scurrying upstairs faster than the sound.
CheesySandwiches ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:11:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, fair enough. I suppose mine have been desensitized to the plastic from living with my family, who often forget their cloth bags and wind up with a pile of plastic ones. =) The cats bat at and play with any plastic bags they find on the floor or countertop - one kitty is especially fond of playing even with plastic wrappers and other crinkly things. If you didn't have plastic bags around for them to investigate when they were growing up, it makes sense that your cats would be startled by the sound... especially if they mostly associate it with your warhammer, lol. Conditioning!
UltimateCarl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, every cat I've ever known just goes apeshit playing with them. In any of the households I've slept in that have cats, that would just be a surefire way to make sure they wake you up twice as much.
happy_gil_oh_my_god ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:55:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Friend of mine did the same, only with an airsoft gun. In my house. When he hit the target, light went off and the pellet pierced straight through the lightswitch.
MeanSaltine ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:10:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I salute you.
MajorJeb ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:56:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We salute you, Mr. Nerf-dart Shooting Lazy Guy.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:21:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I came here to say my almost identical story and it's already been said :(
RXL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:41:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to talk to you about the wonderful opportunity to become a Stormtrooper for the Galactic Empire.
minmatsebtin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:19:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have you considered a career as a Stormtrooper?
GamePhysics ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's just glorious.. If I wasn't this lazy, I'd give you gold.
SWgeek10056 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:18:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
God you're a terrible shot, or you have a huge room.
stratomaster21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was drunk. Also, I'm a terrible shot.
SWgeek10056 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drunk makes a big difference. You're excused.
CaptainObviousSpeaks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If i wasn't a poor man I'd give you some gold. Here is the best I can do Link
jakielim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:52:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Should have shot the lightbulb like Mr. Bean.
Jakebar276 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:04:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a long ass piece of wood next to my bed to hit my light switch -.-
Shaninja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:04:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this but hit it
cc1191 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to always try to throw pencils and other small objects.
mrchipslewis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
after laughing my ass off, I inducted this into my all time favourite quotes word file.
stratomaster21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's an honor.
Some1_had_2say_it ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a remedy for such laziness...two words: "Clap it"
GoblinsStoleMyHouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Must have had a leg day
hpizzle12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
funny as helll
rooshbaboosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
LAD
ghostphantom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I have a Raider Rapid-Fire CS-35 so i get 35 shots. I used to have to get up and flip the switch but I installed one of these for the sole purpose of being easier to hit. I just can't sleep with lights on and now I don't have to.
Edit: I think Nerf should pay me to do a commercial.
Caddy6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, haven't laughed that hard in a while.
thecromag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Should have thrown the gun
OnTheMattack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once but I threw a book at it. I missed and had my brother (we shared a room) give it back to me repeatedly when I continued to miss for the next 5 minutes until I finally got it
cat_attack_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Guy down the hall in my old college dorm tied a string from the light pull-cord to his bed post, so he could turn off the light from bed. He's an engineering student.
The_Bed_Intruder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same thing except I used what I had on my nightstand...old cellphone, t.v remote, ps3 controller, ect..missed all of them. the loud noise prompted my sister to come and check it out, got her to shut off the light...success
AnswersAndShit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Commitment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think he gave it his best shot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You still had the the gun to throw, quitter.
stratomaster21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I could have, but that would have involved more effort.
Milkycumbubble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would give you gold if i could :/
TylertheDouche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are literally my hero
KeroZero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just tried to do this and failed successfully.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
DAMN, I gotta stop giving my lazy brother such a hard time
cLiMaeX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
By far my favorite because I did the same, only I hit the 9th arrow.
JeromeW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But...You had a nerf gun....that you could've thrown.
SnorlaxSecurity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Clap lights. And everyone called them stupid!
kittykittybangbangkb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have done this as well. Worst sleep ever.
stratomaster21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol definitely helped.
Miles_Oh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
LOL.
tubular1450 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was a switch? Was there any way a dart could even turn it off if it hit just right? I envy your laziness.
stratomaster21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was one of these. It could have worked, but I can't shoot worth shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I personally always keep a towel by my night stand to smack the hell out of the light switch.
OnionSquire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Similar thing: I once shot out my lights with an airsoft rifle because I didn't want to get up and turn them off. Three years later when I moved out, the glass was still on the floor, under a towel.
Sarcasm4m3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called the house phone, with my cellphone because I was to lazy to get out of bed to turn off the light. Little sister answered and came up and turned it off.
ChesterWhelks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get someone to herd the nerf in the morning?
mail323 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that's right not everyone has remote controls and phone apps for their lights.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once contemplated the consequences of shooting a lamp across my bedroom with my 1911 to turn it off. I didn't do it because it's a $50 lamp that I really like and I'd also end up spending way more time patching the holes in my drywall later.
There's also the fact that one of my neighbors would've probably called the cops if they heard a gunshot.
shane_oh4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is incredible
nastybacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I realised something the other day. With my smartphone, I can do my banking, I can communicate with people at the other side of the world. I can stream video, and so so much more. So why can't i turn my damned bedroom light off with it!
Oo0nslaughtoO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Throw pillows or clothes. A nice arcing shot does the trick. Be careful of the ceiling fan!
poopmaster747 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a ceiling fan in my room that came with a remote for the fan and light. It's great when you are feeling lazy before bed. One thing that sucks is the remote controls other fans in the house and other remotes can control the one in my room. I sometimes have to fight with someone else in the house to turn off the lights or switch on the fan.
starrecovery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should get a woman
8e8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Many years ago I was LAN'ing out of a friend's closet for the summer. We both hated getting up to turn off the light, especially in the middle of a game, even though it was about arm's length and a half behind me. I turned one of his coat hangers into a light switcher and it worked like a charm for awhile. I ended up getting tired of using the coat hanger so we just left the light off.
grrrwoofwoof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a sponge like ball (the yellow ones with a smiley face on it) which I used to throw at switch to turn lights off. I had a petty good success rate. But I have also slept with lights on too many times.
mad_catmk2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Imperial
NerfTrooperganjaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually got pretty good at hitting the light switch with a pillow, top spin and all. But of course there were some nights where every pillow would miss. I would even sacrifice my last pillow to get the lights off.
kasekoph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucked lol
OneManDrinkingGames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I disliked using my crutches for it drew too many attention. But I left it by my bed side every night to turn the lights off. :D
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a light switch above my bed on a cord so it's just a case of reaching up and feeling around for it. I'll be honest, sometimes I can't even be bothered to do that. Especially if my bedroom is cold and my bed is all warm.
bloodyshart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Man, you are one lazy piece of shit.
Teach me.
iloveLoveLOVECats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My bedroom light is remote control operable with dimmer. Boyfriend saved us from fighting over who had to stumble to switch it off. It's amazing and I highly recommend it. It's something that anyone above novice electrician could handle installing or even a daring first-timer I am sure.
blumelon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You could learn a lot from Mr. Bean: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOrDCpAv-sM
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
too lazy to activate the clap sensor ?
Devanismyname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus christ.
peterlafleur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i did this, but used my cat and a laser pointer.
Play_It ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now you don't even have to leave your computer to shoot nerf darts at the lightswitch and miss.
xXChickenInTheMudXx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You made half my comment karma in one comment.
The system is too cruel.
Kerzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, this is the best sentence I have EVER read.
Wincko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You made me laugh out loud in class.
Miniappolis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Should have taken a page out of Mr Beans book.
Shoot the bulb
Vakieh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You need to upgrade!
jajison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To me, this isn't even lazy. If you got up I bet you it would have woken you up slightly making it more difficult to sleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's less lazy than NOT shooting darts and just falling asleep with the lights on anyway.
_arakawa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just had a light switch installed beside my bed. Planned laziness.
ziggmuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
BUT YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Next time just shoot the bulb.
creepy_doll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:58:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite part about winter is how I get to use the thick duvet. It's so snuggly and warm.
Worst part of winter is getting up is hell. On weekends I will just stay hours in it if there is nothing demanding my immediate attention.
electricmaster23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He had more, but couldn't be bothered reloading.
stratomaster21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Precisely.
lpew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a system with levers and pulleys made out of paper clips and a long bit of thread going up the wall and across the ceiling to actuate the light switch from my bed...
Dualyeti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Solution: get movement sensor as a light switch, never have to think out the switch.
Negative: own a pet, or restless in the night? Your screwed.
i_have_reddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Bean?
sageDieu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have one of those old home director things hooked up to my lamp, with a remote on my nightstand.
therealflinchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
your switch was soft enough to trip with a nerf gun? wow
Smobert1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did it with a pellet gun, and at the lightbulb though it exploded meh went to sleep
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I installed a remote for my light/fan in the bedroom for this reason. It's great.
stealthybuffalo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger, I used to call my little brother into the room to turn my lights off for me...
....now I do that to my fiancรฉ.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a remote for my light. It stays on my bed at all times.
http://i.imgur.com/LNcPfKP.gif
R2D2Legit2Quit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you should have thrown the gun at the end as a last resort
kimmm314 ยท 3166 points ยท Posted at 04:17:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate and I arranged our dorm room to be "lazy-capable." One person was able to reach the mini fridge and light switch from her bed, and the other could reach the the window and AC/ heat from her bed....
.... we never fought again.
wiggles89 ยท 1131 points ยท Posted at 07:40:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I remember my freshmen year my neighbor, and later to be roommate, made an intricate system of strings and counter weights so he could pull a string from his bunk and kill the lights.
Edit: Forgot some words.
Echieo ยท 336 points ยท Posted at 08:37:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We did this to close the windows in the morning. Used a bottle of detergent as a counterweight. Eventually there was a big mess.
Wiggles7 ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 13:44:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Big mess? Sounds like a problem for the students who move in next year!
Greenkeeper ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:00:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Strings, counterweights, detergent, messes, windows.
Ahh college.
MadHatter69 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:47:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I also attend college, but live in my parent's house.
To kill lights, I use my pimp cane to reach the switch, since I was a pimp on Halloween.
My life is more complete now.
darthmase ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:43:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's still a lot of effort, isn't it? I prefer the "MEEEEEWM!" method.
MadHatter69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:47:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A true pimp is not afraid of using a couple of extra muscles, whether it is a bitchslap or flicking a light switch.
Can you elaborate on the 'MEEEEEWM' method?
darthmase ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:59:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Normally I would be too lazy to do it but ok.
It's basically screaming MOM! on top of your lungs to make her do it.
Refer to this at 14:26 and 18:14.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:37 on January 13, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MadHatter69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:18:46 on January 13, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I am, but it appears I havenโt seen that episode.
HotRodLincoln ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:52:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If it's made of detergent, doesn't the mess make everything cleaner?
Faps_McTickle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:56:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did you bother to clean it up?
AJockeysBallsack ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:01:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's detergent, it's clean already.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is just a great way to turn off lights AND clean the carpet. You lazy son of a bitch!
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Why was it filled with pancake batter?"
Edit: You batter believe it.
thechilipepper0 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:41:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are there any pictures?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:25:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So none of you people have heard of the clapper?
Ua_Tsaug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:13:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He put a lot of work into his laziness.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:16:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Willing to put in work to automate a task that will have to be repeated a lot. He has the potential to become a good programmer.
swawif ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:37:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or... He's just good with /r/tasker ...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:15:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Work once, never work again.
theansweris_42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:15:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friends made a a pulley system with a paper plate and a length of string on two sides. Each person would have an end of the string and could pull the plate towards them. Never had to get off the couch to pass the bowl. I was impressed with their stoner ingenuity.
kirial ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lazy engineering student?
theamazingroberto ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:48:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
DADDY WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SAUSAGES?
Smuft0073 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Saw the comment and had to check if this was referenced. Was not disappointed.
beasl3y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a jail and there is an inmate who uses window sealant, string, and a pen cap to change the tv channel from his bed
wiggles89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TVs in the cell? That is a nice jail, unless you meant to say prison?
beasl3y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just a regular county jail (we have federal and immigration contracts)
wiggles89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You have TVs in the individual cells, and not just in the "day room?" If so that is pretty swank as far as jails go. I've never seen or heard of a county jail that has T.V.s in the actual cells where the inmates sleep. They usually just have one T.V. in the community room that every inmate has to share, and you can only watch it during the day.
I was gonna ask if you were a smaller jail, but if you have federal and immigration contracts I doubt it. I've heard that some of the very small (I'm talking like holding only a dozen or so inmates) jails actually get some benefits over the normal and larger jails. For example, they get to have take out meals rather than the jail food because they are too small to have a kitchen, and other privileges due to their small populations.
beasl3y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:21 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I don't know how we compare size wise to most other country jails but it's no where near as large as the jails you see on spike tv. We have a kitchen at our facility and the food is actually a whole lot better than the meals I eat at home on my off days. According to the inmates, our jail is the nicest one in the general area. We are a restricted movement jail so each individual pod (regardless of capacity size) has a tv that is shared between how ever many are currently being housed in there... unless of course they are being asshats
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Genius
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I'm thankful all the dorms I've lived in had a light switch near the door to the room and another one right next to the bed. It used to get annoying if you forgot your bathroom light on (our dorms are ensuite) but then I moved to the new dorms and the bathroom light had a motion sensor. I love my campus dorms it's designed for the lazy.
JustThePit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this is high school. My closet had a pull-string light that I tied a rope to, safety pinned the rope to my bed, pulled it every night when it was time to pass out. I think at one point I rolled over and got caught in the string, turning the lights on. What a mess.
deathbutton1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
An engineer I see.
wiggles89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Business major actually, but he has a natural affinity for MacGyvering things.
rccaput ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would do this as a child using dental floss. Then my fan and bed as apex points.
tic-tac-totoro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A housemate of mine has all of his lights/curtains etc. on voice control.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! I did that too! I had strings for lights on & off - and I was quite proud of the system to open & close the door. Had a string duct-taped the the door knob in a way that would turn the knob then pull the door open in a single motion.
Whole system was reachable from the bunk and from the computer chair.
MAtoDC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate and I did that too. I also frequently called the girl across the hall to come over for an emergency. "Hey MAtoDC, what's wrong?!?!?!" "Nothing, can you just turn off the light?"
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a subreddit for learning about how to do this? I have a light you have to turn, and it's all the way across the god damn room. I rarely ever use it because I'm too lazy. Would just rather go around in the dark.
whiterussian89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
had a friend who did the same except it was in the living room in his apt. in order to grasp the lighter for his bong
Skibxskatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
rube? is that you?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
College? I did that in fifth grade.
Had to reverse the light switch so that up was off, since the string ran along the ceiling.
gandalfv31415 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's some top quality engineering shit right there
_HONESTLY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was it really worth it to go through all that trouble?
wiggles89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A few hours of work for a year of laziness, I'd say it's a fair tradeoff.
jwbolt_97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ALWAYS dorm with an engineering student.
wiggles89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He was a business major, but I think he watched a lot of MacGyver as a child.
psinguine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of George Castanza. A man who made being lazy a full time job. Never worked so hard at not working in his life.
wiggles89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of the greatest Castanza moments was when he turned his desk into a bunk so he could sleep on the job. He had so much to teach the world.
rageak49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this in my room, but instead of counter weights it's on a pulley system. Pull one way=lights on, other way=off.
Barely_adequate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:34 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds awesome.
Federico216 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:53:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be in my bunk.
LightlessLightbulb ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 07:50:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't your average laziness. This isโฆ advanced laziness.
drumdude138 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 07:10:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Great teamwork. You two make me proud.
regalrecaller ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:06:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I love a happy ending
Soft_Needles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:15:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I might sleep for 14 hours...... each day...
GayKingDavid ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:38:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Lazy-cable" sounds really cute.
ferlessleedr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:54:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actively communicating and fair division of tasks will heal ALL wounds.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:24:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my roommate were so dumb while we lived in a dorm. Damn. We should have moved the fridge closer. Also fans with remote controls are also awesome.
Unique_Cyclist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:27 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My brother bought a $100 pool cue so he could reach the light switch from his bed.
He's 10. We dont have a pool table.
WolfSpiderBuddy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:02:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of the millions of reddit comments where the male reddit community experiences cognitive dissonance upon seeing "her" halfway through the sentence.
"But... it's a lazy man... but it says 'her'! I don't understand! Why is the lazy man saying lady words?"
mindfulhal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Genius
Lip_Recon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine, drummer and ice-cream eater, grew tired of his regular ice-cream eating routine which forced him to bend forward from his couch to reach the ice-cream. So he decided to tape two drumsticks and a spoon together...
LuckyCh4rmz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:37 on March 19, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
That's not laziness, that's geniusness
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:22:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I will now take notes.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:23:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know a girl who did this at University. She Moved her bed into the kitchen/living room in reach of the fridge, her friend did likewise so she could change TV channel with her toe (no remote control). They got their dealer to deliver, and ordered takeaways, and lived like that for about a month.
Moxay ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 08:31:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who could reach the sex toy cabinet?
AltusUnum ยท 3014 points ยท Posted at 04:29:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spent a half hour searching for a torrent to download a textbook that I had left in another room
welovekah ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 09:26:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But this has the added benefit of being searchable (assuming it isn't a scan).
Niktion ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 13:46:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Which also essentially comes down to laziness, so it's appropriate for this thread.
thebeefytaco ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:08:45 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You could still probably find what you need with OCR.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 10:08:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BlackBlizzNerd ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 10:38:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this, probably 5 meters away, but a movie not a book. The movie I was trying to download had like no seeders either so it took like an hour to download. Worth it.
doolster ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:20:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wish my torrents only took 1 hour to download...
ohmygod_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hope for verizon fios quantum. My movies take about 15 minutes and thats long.
Godolin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ohmygod
Auxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm downloading 720p rip while making a tea. God bless 1gbits at home!
VelocaReaper ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:03:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To me this just sounds like another version of procrastinating. But then again as very lazy.
Rock_Me-Amadeus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:53:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same, but downloading a film I already knew I had on DVD because I couldn't be bothered to find it on the DVD shelf
CaptainIndustry ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:31:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ctrl+F through a downloaded text book. Totally worth the time.
mages011 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:07:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was no turning back after the first 5 minutes, you were dedicated by that point. I understand.
AltusUnum ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:28:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly what happened. I couldn't find anything after the first 5 minutes. I became very frustrated. By then, my competitive juices started flowing and there was no way I could give up; I was finding a copy of that book online.
efhs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:16:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spend hours each week trying to find copies of text books/ journals because i forgot my uni library password and i cant be bothered to call IT and get a new one.
EDIT: Not hours, but longer than it should take.
ultimatetropper ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:37:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That could be really useful. For example I need to find a torrent of my Spanish text book so I can just copy paste that shit into google translate instead of typing it all out.
Methaxetamine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:59:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It'll be on your computer forever! You'll never be without it again!
craznazn247 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this for a book that was in my backpack...next to me. I just didn't want to unzip the bag.
Hl_lNTER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Currently, this is me.
andyourubinsometubs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:47:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spent about an hour trying to find an online version of my history book that was about 10 feet away because I was already so comfortable in bed.
Edit: u's =\= y's
Charliedelicious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Related: Always torrenting movies that I already own on DVD because I'm too lazy to look through the DVD binder.
HypnotikK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is my kind of laziness
hyeinkali ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We're you able to download it?
Chubbstock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same with a DVD i had in the living room. I didn't want to get up, but I really wanted to see it. An hour later it was downloaded.
Undercover_nerd87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this too lol.
detecting_nuttiness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OP said laziest thing you've ever done, not the most ridiculous reason you're procrastinated.
PainfulBaguette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is beautiful.
Also, thanks for the idea. I have lost my WG textbook... Looking for a torrnet right now!
Stankmonger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite, been here so many times
sillypwilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've torrented cd's I'd left in my car. Good job.
CoolDudesJunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:13 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like procrastination
anchormanrulz ยท 2297 points ยท Posted at 01:57:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called my mom's office line from the living room to ask her a question. She has a home office.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1639 points ยท Posted at 02:00:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do the trick where I would dial the home number on the home phone then hang up quick so it still rang. Then wait for Mother to pick up and also pick up. Proceed to request goodies and such!
jkman ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 06:43:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, what? If you dial the number to your own line, it automatically goes to busy. How did you get it to ring?
OnlySlightlyCrazy ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 07:13:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Analog phones did this back in the day. It stopped working, I don't know when, but it was cool.
nrealistic ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:11:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I still use this. My parents have two buildings, a house and a workshop. We've been using this trick to communicate between them for 20+ years
OklasChica ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 09:16:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The way I used to do it was dial 987 (879? Some combo of those numbers) then the last 4 of our number. Got a dial tone, hung up, picked it up, hung up again. Phone would instantly ring.
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:10:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like something 12 year old me would do for hours on end.
OklasChica ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:06:12 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
12 year old me made every payphone I found ring with this trick. Ya know, back in the day when they had payphones.
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used 811 then the last 4 digits. That worked for me before and after area codes. I can remember dialing a 7 digit number on a pay phone while skipping English class. Ah, thems were the days.
flangefrog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:13:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
137 for anyone in New Zealand. It's called a ringback number.
fluffy-b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
what does it do?
flangefrog ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:13:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rings you back :D that's all. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telephone_numbers_in_New_Zealand#Other_useful_numbers
fluffy-b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i must try this out in the morning !!! thanks!!!
JoeMental ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was 550 + last 4 digits here. Worked great but that loud humming in the back ground drove me insane.
MalHeartsNutmeg ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:15:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Even though they don't do this now, most cordless phones have a page option that will make the other handsets make a loud tone. If you've set it up before hand someone else in your house would pick it up and there you have lazy communication.
gillyguthrie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:48 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You hafta hang up right after dialing. And it only works on the POTS lines, no cellular will do it that I know of.
It's kinda sad the other day my nephew (he's 10) asked me, "What's a dial tone?" I'm not even 30...
Ferreur ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 07:06:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It happens when you have multiple phones connected, I would guess.
tit-troll ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:16:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You must've been born after landlines died....
Ferreur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, I'm not.
However as I mentioned in the original comment, I was just taking a wild guess.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 06:06:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my mother had a phone in her room and on in the living room, one day I spliced off the living room so I would have a phone in my room. Most the time after high school i would crash in my room, and when i would want to talk to mom and ask for room deliveries I would yell out loud "MOM PHONE CALL" she would pic it up and I would too and hit a number so we didnt hear the dial tone and then it went something like "Hi mom, ROBERT KNOCK IT OFF!, but maaaam...click" and then either pouting or laughing lol Man I miss pre cell phone days so much fun!.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:14:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm crying from laughing
MeAndMyMoose ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 05:50:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always did this!
PieJesu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:05:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I recall a "Zits" comic strip with this premise. Can't find it
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:43:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mom! More hot pockets!
alphakyle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:29:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Our dad would do that to my brother and me to call us for dinner when we were watching tv/playing GameCube in the basement. It backfired on him the day we realized the phone was always either for him, or him, and we just stopped answering the phone while he was home.
lachlanhunt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:42:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Australia, there is a call back number specifically for that:
I used to dial 199 as a kid just so mum would have to pick up the phone.
GayKingDavid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:36:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OMG I forgot about this trick. The good ole days. :)
AG3NT_86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:06:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You can dial 1374 then hang up and it will do the same thing. Not sure if this works in US but it does in New Zealand.
SpudOfDoom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:52:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure I always used to do this with just 137 in NZ as a kid.
Kalkaline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird to think there is a huge chunk of kids that will grow up not knowing how land lines work.
Ambivalent_Assailant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The things this generation will never experience or understand.
drunk-astronaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if that still works.
Kairos27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I miss that trick! Does it still exist?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I may be too young to have ever tried this.
jman3350 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this kid I know, his family installed an intercom system and has phones that you can call other phones in the house even though they're on the same line. I've only seen the lines used to tell him to stop being so loud.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just dial and then stay on the line until she picked up..?
SayingWhatImThinking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't you just use the intercom feature?
SpudOfDoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming the phone actually had intercom.
Death-By_Snu-Snu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ah, those were the days
except i don't remember because I'm young
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha the phones in my country used to ring back when you pressed 161 and hung up. I would dail, run to another room and grab the cordless phone, wait for mom/dad to pick up and pretend to give orders
Bravesurf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Since you're already up, can you fetch me some snacks?"
racer6r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once used my cell phone to call the house when we ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was too lazy to yell.
jhonnyonthespot15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only 90s kids will remember!
SheWantsThaD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this but on the same line as my own... I think the code was 711 and hang up, then the house would ring, and talk to mom that way
Relevant:Ringback Number
BitterChris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Still had the dialtone while you talked though, if I remember this correctly.
nahfoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wizardry
Clashloudly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My parent's wireless home phone had a "Find" button on the dock, so you could "call" the phone from the dock if you lost it. We used this capability to communicate from accross the house without having to get up.
Best part was that the phone also had a button to call the dock.
EveryoneElseIsWrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
oh my GOD i remember doing this!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this. In our bathroom, we had a telephone for the longest time. I have no idea why, but when I was sitting on that porcelain throne and I ran out of toilet paper, I'd dial my house number and when my mom picked up I'd ask her to bring me more.
Dancingtoes16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:32 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This really brings back memories of being home sick with a wireless phone in my room. The 90's were fun.
peepeedog ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:54:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would've beat you so badly for trying to summon me that way.
handbrah ยท 389 points ยท Posted at 03:30:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my siblings used to text each other on the phone (using Nokia 3390s, not the smartphones of today) when we were just a room away. Heck, the walls were so thin, if someone left their phone on Outside profile you can hear their SMS tone. And if someone didn't answer right away, we'd usually yell.
beez_beez_beez ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 08:02:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed remembering such a thing as the 'Outside' profile.
Amp3r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:57:27 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I miss those profiles. On or off is too binary
abush1793 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:27:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I still do this, fuck walking.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:34:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I KNOW YOU READ MY TEXT
darkcyril ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:59:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, my roommate and I used to have rooms right next to each other and kept our doors open. We talked more through MSN then actually talking to each other.
Sarcasm_And_Suicide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:38:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like how you consider that so old school. I'm also realizing that reddit makes me act/feel old in my twenties
WhyNotGenerous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:36:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I assume you yelled at them to read your message instead of yelling what the message said?
handbrah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Guilty.
Usually the conversation to get my siblings to read the text is longer than it takes to read it in the first place.
Me: READ THE TEXT MESSAGE I SENT YOU!
Brother: WHAT?
Me: READ. THE. TEXT. MESSAGE. I. SENT. TO. YOU. ON. THE. PHONE!!
Brother: WHAT ON MY PHONE?
Me: THE. MESSAGE! outside interference
Brother: WHAT? I DIDN'T HEAR IT BECAUSE OF THAT TRUCK BACKING UP!
Brother: WHERE'S MY PHONE SO I CAN CALL YOU?
Me: DID YOU CHECK BY THE KITCHEN?
Brother: WHAT?
I go to his room after getting his phone from the kitchen
Me: here.
Brother: Oh, thanks.
I go back to my room
Message reads "Your phone is in the kitchen"
Hannajs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:54:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The words "outside profile" just brought back memories. 0.o
Degru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was infuriating when people on the bus texted FROM ACROSS THE AISLE instead of talking.
etymological ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've instant messaged my friends in the same room. Some things just work better in text, you know?
skjay91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:21 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My siblings and I do the same thing lol
copperpony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You had your own room and you weren't an only child... That's all.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:34:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pff kids these days. We used walkie talkies.
Kartinka ยท 436 points ยท Posted at 03:58:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I feel better now! When I lived at home, I called my house phone a few times using my cellphone from my bed to ask my mom/dad to come close my door or turn off the lights in my room or to tell them to be quieter 'cause I wanted to sleep.....
THIS IS HOW HEART DISEASE STARTS, KIDS.
luckiest_wasp ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:52:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did that a lot. I still do it actually - I call my boyfriend to turn off the outside light if I can see it shining through the windows a bit. When he is one room away. Also, I'm kind of embarrassed by how much I've commented in this thread.
Kryzilya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend and I are always on gchat. Before I go to sleep, I get into bed with my laptop for a while, and he stays out in the living room playing games. I'll pretty regularly message him to adjust the heat, bring an extra blanket in, remind him to wash pots/pans, etc.
Whedon-kulous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you live with your bf why don't you sleep in the same room?
luckiest_wasp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:14:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We do! We work very different hours though so sometimes he stays up to watch a movie or play video games for a while before he comes to bed.
Schnabbster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:05:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
is there a law, that i'm not aware of, that states you have to sleep in the same room as your bf?
FudgeThisCheese ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:22:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Law of snuggle?
jet_heller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
if you were my kid this call would be an invitation to throw a party in your room.
See. I'm lazier than you and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you get in the habit of ruining my laziness.
Noellani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If any one of my kids tried this.... While on the phone I would start laughing, walk through my house still on the phone- still laughing, go to their room and laugh directly in their face and say "no, no, no, nooohooohoho (think Peter in family guy)". Walk back to where the phone goes -still laughing- then hang up.
bop_boop_bop ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:59:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The funny thing is, is that I have never done this. But my mom does it constantly.
obvious__bicycle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this!! Her office is in the basement.
anchormanrulz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:00:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's slightly more acceptable because stairs are involved. My mom's office is on the same floor as their living room.
gsfgf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I installed an intercom in my house growing up for that reason.
antbones111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I was a Freshman in college AIM was still used by everyone. sometimes my roommate (lived in a dorm) and I would IM each to see if either wanted to go grab food at the dining hall rather than simply open our mouths and speak. I think it started out as a joke because we used to IM the guys down the hall but then started doing it to each other too...
Pokebunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My family regularly texts each other across the house because people tend to ignore or forget what they say when they walk over and tell them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That segues away from "lazy" and into "efficient."
Tomledo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once texted my mom the room directly above her to ask her to come upstairs for a minite
Miss_nuts_a_bit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this all the time. We even have an inter phone at our house but it was outside my room so I just used the cell phone instead.
BeeHammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When my mom wants something she send me a whatsapp mensage.
tattoolegs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My fucking dad does this, now that I've been staying there as I move. He knows I'm upstairs, getting ready for school or hiding from them, but fuck getting up, he calls my cell. So I don't answer. Then he'll get up and yell at me to answer my phone. Fuck, I'm too old to be living at the parentals house and sleeping in a race car bed.!
Kiloku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, my mom usually facebook messages me asking what pizza flavor I want, before she orders them. Our bedrooms are side by side.
efhs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Our printer is downstairs, i regularly ring my dad or brother to ask them to turn it on.
uberweb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remember calling my my upstairs so that she could pull the comforter over my feet, as my feet were sticking out.
NoApollonia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so guilty of this type of stuff. Like being in the living room comfy on the couch with my laptop and remember my husband wanted woken up at X time and I simply don't want to get up. So I end up calling his cell phone which he has on his nightstand.
HolyGarbage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I used to live at home, my dad used to call me on my cell to tell me dinner was ready, when I was home.
ATerribleUsername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My grandparents had two phone lines for some reason. Thus was pre-dial up internet and neither of them worked from home. At family parties, us kids would sometimes be hanging out upstairs watching TV and when it was time for dinner, they would call one phone line from the other so we would answer and come down to eat.
It started early.
starlinguk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I Skype my son to tell him dinner/breakfast is ready. I have a (REALLY LOUD) dinner bell, but he doesn't hear it because of his headphones. And yesterday I got a text from her downstairs to tell me the coffee was ready.
Scarecrow398 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We used to have a set of 3 phones around the house on the same line which all had an intercom between each other... much laziness ensued.
RamenJunkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My son sometimes calls from downstairs in the basement to ask us questions
Its lazy. And my wife and I discourage it by not answering
Musabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad often texts me from inside the same house haha
Aapatel2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did something like this. Wrote on my friends Facebook wall telling him to come to the living room instead of calling out to him while he was in his bedroom. Right next to me.
Fantlol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin who lives next door did the same, she had a phone in her room and a phone in her parents' living room, and whenever she needed something she just called the other phone(some technology shit, I dont even know). The distance between where she was usually at in her room and the living room door was basically 3 steps and a door
slfranke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Can you make me a sandwich?"
ohmygod_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My family texts each other from different rooms. Or Voxer's. I hate that thing.
Zokusho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back in highschool, my room was in the basement level of our house. Anytime my parents or sisters needed something, they would call my cell phone. Every single time!
Anytime I needed something from them, I'd walk my ass up the stairs.
gordonfreemn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad once connected to our Ventrilo voice-chat while I was playing WoW with friends (dad liked to play tactical fps's with his friends sometimes and I loaned our Ventrilo for them the rare occasions they got enough time to play) and asked me to bring a beer to him. I was in shouting range too. He also never normally asked me to bring beers to him, but I did for this time.
Majusbeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That used to be how my parents called me down for dinner, it was easier than to shout over my loud music
recently_resurrected ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"You have called a party on your own line..."
yaleman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:13 on May 1, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
My mum used to SMS me when I was younger and in the back of the house to come and make her coffee/get her a wine.
fat_chimney_sweep ยท 3580 points ยท Posted at 04:35:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Washed bed sheets. Didn't put the sheets on till 2 months later.
loqi0238 ยท 1473 points ยท Posted at 04:47:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I'll throw my last load of laundry on my dresser, meaning to fold/put stuff up later. Well, laundry day rolls around again, it's not been put up, so I just wash it all again even though it's still clean. I don't know what my reasoning is, this is more a habit of neuroticism.
Amicron ยท 856 points ยท Posted at 06:56:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant XKCD.
hahahaitsagiraffe ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 07:15:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How is there always a relevant XKCD?
thegeocash ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 08:44:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still waiting for someone with a good enough memory of every XKCD to create the novelty account /u/relevantXKCD
ninja edit
Haha, this is already a thing, he needs more comments though!
Muffinut ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:47:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, he was a cool guy. Definitely needs more comments.
Horst665 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:53:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The author possesses a time machine and uses it to travel into the future, browse reddit and returns to draw his comics.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:01:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because there are 1300 of them by now, and most are about everyday stuff like this.
leadnpotatoes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is well over a thousand of them, and every week that goes by the odds become more likely that there will be relevant xkcds. Given sufficient time xkcd will become the summation of human experience.
WASDx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:53:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How is there always someone asking about it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Confirmation bias.
ArmchairActivist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:33 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because often it was just a comment posted in reddit that would become a crappy doodle.
mindyourmuffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:05 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a relevant xkcd about the relevancy of xkcd?
Pussypants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because they are purposely made to be relevant to very common things people do
bobablo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
because a lot of them are inspired by reddit comments.
MeikaLeak ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:21:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Interns?
ASOTATW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:57:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing has described me so perfectly
Chimerasame ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I never got to the "End of Semester" step, but I lived in the "second month" step for years.
When my girlfriend moved in (who is now my wife) -- she was a little better than me on this front, but not spectacularly. We try, in theory, to be at the "first week" step, but often end up at a step that is not listed here, which has all of the points EXCEPT the dresser. Yes, that's right, often-times we fold the laundry, while watching Lost Girl or whatever other show we're watching this week -- and then we leave it on the coffee table instead of putting it away.
This has the incidental advantage that when one of us wakes up before the other, we don't have to make noise with the dresser in the bedroom -- we just come out to the den and get dressed. We're thinking about putting the dressers in the den, but it'd take up a bit of space, and also might be kind of weird when guests are over... (which currently is the only time we manage to get ourselves back into the "first week" stage.)
dream6601 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:12:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Third Week is totally wrong,
Hamper gets eliminated for floor long before Dresser/Closet does.
bythetuskofnarwhal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:15:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
why isn't there a relevant xkcd bot yet. do we have the technology?
nekucerv ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:27:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Actually it exists, but major subreddits always ban bots (including this one).
Edit: /u/RelevantXKCD-bot
Karmaisthedevil ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:39:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So that's why the bot to turn xkcd into imgur isn't here... damn you askreddit.
floppypick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:56:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didnt click on the comic. Was hoping the bot would be in the comments, it's not. No comic for me.
Kongo204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There always is, isn't there?
Godolin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live that cycle.
bilboofbagend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Irrelevant XKCD
loqi0238 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:36:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesomely relevant.
Thompson_S_Sweetback ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:20:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Where the fuck is the bot? I have to click this myself?
sabes19 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:20:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is so true. Source: I've been wearing the same pair of pants for 2 weeks.
The_Sven ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:42:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Irrelevant xkcd
CaffeinatedGuy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:15:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mobile link. http://m.xkcd.com/1066/
(so we can see the alt text)
My_Other_Car_is_Cats ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 07:15:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a pile of clean clothes I've been moving from my chair to my bed for about 8 days. Hoping putting them on my bed will motivate me to fold/hang them. It doesn't.
kat_loves_tea ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:32:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Crumpled pile of clean laundry has been on my nightstand for about 2 weeks.. I'm right there with you. Unfortunately the cat now thinks it's an extension of the bed and has started sleeping on it. Now I have to wash it again... Damnit.
Iwakura_Lain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:41:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been sleeping on some of my clean laundry for about 4 weeks now. At least when I don't sleep on a couch.
token_bastard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
8 days? Pffft. I've been renting a room from a buddy of mine for about a year and a half now. Pretty much since week two, I've had a pile of clothes to shift from chair to bed and back again almost every day. The clothes themselves change from time to time as I occasionally use an odd shirt or sock, but the pile... The pile stays. It is Eternal.
redworm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A queen sized bed is the worst thing for me to have in terms of laundry effort. However, even with a twin bed I'll sometimes just shove everything to one side or sleep with my feet under the clean clothes.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hell ya, I usually go a week before I start feeling the need to remove the grunge, so you've beat me!
magicaltrevor953 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't move them between the bed and chair, I have a table. They only move if I decide to wear them.
Andhareall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I wasn't sharing a bed with someone, it was just so easy to move my clothes to the other side of the bed to sleep. Now it just sits on the dresser for a few days.
InFaDeLiTy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:09:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do same, but I dont rewash it, if its clean its clean.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, you must like to live life dangerously.
CPride12 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:54:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're neurotic about about washing clean, crumpled clothes on you're dresser but not about the fact that they sit their for a week?
ProtoKun7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sit their what for a week?
mimcczr1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:24:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sit their asses down on my damn dresser and refuse to put themselves away.
Spongyrocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
'Their'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Spongyrocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:26:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all are so sensitive, I wasn't belittling anyone
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
'K, I'm just neurotic in general. I have weird quirks and strange routines most find to be 'out of the norm'.
Karolinkaa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:29:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do almost the same except while shuffling through the clean clothes I mix them up with the still dirty clothes laying on the floor so essentially my floor is covered with a mix of clean and dirty clothes. When is comes to laundry time again, half the stuff is still clean but I cant tell and end up washing it all over again...and the cycle repeats itself...
TLDR: I can't see my floor cause it's carpeted with a combo of washed and unwashed clothes
loqi0238 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:31:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mixing them just makes it more justifiable to leave them until the next wash, cause you lose track of what's clean.
Karolinkaa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:32:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Is this clean?" sniffs no visible stains..."guess I can wear it"
loqi0238 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:35:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A couple squirts of febreze, aaaand good as new!
HighPriestofShiloh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:49:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do this as well. My issue is that the pile of clothes also slowly become the dirty clothes pile. About half way through the pile I am not sure which are clean and which are dirty. They all get washed again.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when I run out of clean boxers and have to 'guess' which one's in the pile are 'safe'.
enjoytheshow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:03:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My reasoning is that if I hang up those clothes after being bunched up for 12 hours then they will be all wrinkly. Obviously the best course of action is to let them sit there for ten days until you wash them again and they won't be wrinkly. Just try not to repeat the process, that's the hard part and can be quite the slippery slope.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed.
StonedExplorer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:03:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Urban Dictionary describes this as laundry limbo
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for putting a name to this ugly beast.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:03:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So you also create a laundry mountain of clean clothing on top of your dresser, leave it for weeks, allow it to wrinkle and then put most of it through the wash again? I thought I was alone in this.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I log on to reddit this morning, and learned that apparently a LOT of us do this lol
Unclecavemanwasabear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:26:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you have "laundry day" you're not truly lazy.
Mr_Cumbox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:28:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I do something similar... I'll drape any shirts that I don't currently have hangars for over the back of my computer chair. Laundry day rolls around, and all of the shirts on the computer chair get re-washed because that's also where I lay my jeans when I'm sleeping...
Azara1th ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:31:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My clean clothes have sat in a pile in my living room so long I went through 2 more cycles...
Lebowskii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:56:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You think it's habit, but it's actually so you can get the wrinkles out. Least thats why my clean-floor-laundry gets washed again
qazasxz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or when the clean and dirty piles of clothes on the floor merge and you can't tell which is which so you clean all of them.
EskimoSister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just do a quick sniff test to sort them back into Dirty and Clean Enough piles. Saves a lot of water I guess.
adaminc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:24:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a large industrial clothes rack so that I will never have to fold again!!!!
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I will have to look into making that purchase as well.
twistyabbazabba ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like the opposite of lazy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:32:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's like the opposite of lazy.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't use any of the antonyms of lazy to describe myself though. Maybe I'm just more neurotic then I had presumed myself to be. You learn something every day, it seems.
Blushin_Russian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:32:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing but I throw all my shit on the floor. I have shirts that I bought that I don't even wear that end up getting washed repeatedly and repeatedly thrown back on the floor.
OregonGor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:35:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I throw clean clothes on my bed with the thought, oh! If they're on my bed, later I'll have to put them away in order to sleep! But then by the time I want to sleep, I'm too tired, so I put them back in the basket. Then back on the bed the next day. And this cycle continues until they're all dirty again anyway.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that you have to constantly move them but don't put them up wins the laziness award for you, I think. I'm too lazy to check the criteria.
steelerkadaz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:38:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing except I wash them again to get the wrinkles out.
BitterAsBile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:43:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of us, one of us
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have points, you awesome internet person.
jdsizzle1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:03:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
omg I do the same thing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:04:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
loqi0238 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:25:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck hangers, yo.
DocJawbone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:20:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You have a laundry day? Hey everybody, check out mister fancy pants over here!
loqi0238 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:25:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My laundry day is whenever I have spare time and DON'T feel like using it to drink, sooooo...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:46:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this so much living in a dorm. I spent a week sleeping on my bed with my clean clothes pushed to the side, then decided to wash them because they were just sitting there.
Ackbar652 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:01:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this sometimes too, but my reasoning is because they got super wrinkled sitting in the laundry basket after not folding them, so I'll just wash them again. Surely this time I will hang them up to avoid wrinkles.
Yes, Washing and drying them again is way easier than getting the iron out.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Surely, this time will be different.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:34:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same exact thing.
vanillabologna ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I let my clean laundry sit in the hamper until it all gets dirty again..but I have every intention to put them away. I just never do.
leshake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't usually make it out of my dryer.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I guess that way you can just keep putting them on touchup to remove wrinkles and make them toasty warm...
annieloux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:51:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly how I live my life.
And it has turned into one of my cat's favorite beds, so it's also just covered in fuck ton of cat hair. And I shamelessly leave my house looking like I roll around in a pile of cats for four hours before work.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I too am owned by a cat.
Cyberogue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm also like this. What I found works is dumping the laundry on my bed. I'll head to bed and go "bleeeeeegh I have to put this shit away"
However the alternative, you could be like my former roommate. He'd see the pile of clothes on his bed as extra sheets
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a futon next to my bed, so if there's laundry on my bed I usually just pass out on the futon. Sometimes I'll think about tossing the clothes onto the futon, but never quite get the motivation.
sydneysomething ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
EVERY DAMN TIME
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have been known to do the same thing. I also have this move:
Start load of laundry
Walk away
Forget about laundry for hours
Remember laundry is wet in the washer
Restart laundry because I am too lazy to unload and place in the dryer.
Repeat process
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My record is a load in the washer for a day and a half. I washed it 4 times before it made it to the dryer.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Impressive....
mrihearvoices ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
To be fair, it gets wrinkled.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I'm just lazy about some things. No justification from me...
mrihearvoices ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was referring to when you said "I don't know why I wash it all again"
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In that case, yes, I do it for the wrinkles.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always just throw my clean clothes back into my hamper, always meaning to fold them later...then I end up throwing my dirty clothes on the floor, and rummaging through the hamper for a specific outfit makes a huge messy explosion of clothes, so I end up just washing my entire wardrobe.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:07 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually pictured "a huge messy explosion of clothes". Laughter ensued.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:39 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm glad you can laugh at it! It's not funny when your entire floor is covered with clean and dirty clothes :c
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:15:34 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Story of my life.
StephNation ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:49 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me. Me every time.
theWorldisLava ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:29:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck! I don't upvote often, because I'm on my phone and cuz I'm lazy, but god damn if in guilty of doing the same thing. Clean laundry, bring in to my room, put on the floor, somehow get distracted by anything, and bam! A week goes by and I'm washing the same clean clothes, plus an extra pair of boxer grief and maybe a sock or 3.
[deleted] ยท 413 points ยท Posted at 06:37:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I finally put all the bottles on my desk (they started blocking monitors) in a garbage bag. That garbage bag has been sitting by my desk for a month now. Problem is, my desk is almost filled up with bottles again.
I think in a year or two my room will just have bags full of bottles in it.
Uniix ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 08:55:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL why hoarders have bags of trash in their house.
Godolin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, i'm afraid to move out on my own. I'm gonna be so lazy when i have a whole house to keep garbage in
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:47:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Remember the two-minute rule: if you see something that needs to be done, and it'll take two minutes or less, just do it.
6_Weeks_of_Liquid ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:52:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Two minutes is forever when you're lazy
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:02:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to make a long reply to you, but scre
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But my roommates might try and talk to me on the way to the recycling bin... then it could be a 5 minute task :-(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's where you cover your ears and say "LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOOOUUU"
honecold ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:08:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, just take out your trash!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:30:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Whitezombie65 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:25:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At first I thought that would suck. Then realized this type of person wouldn't necessarily care if the whole house was perfectly spotless - they just want the bags of bottles gone
Mr_Conelrad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That depends. Not all states have the bottle deposit on them. So unless they're living in one of the states that give you 5 or 10 cents per bottle, it's just boring normal recycling.
Whitezombie65 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
huh? no i just meant the slob who leaves bottles everywhere would be satisfied if the maid just got rid of them and wouldn't be hovering over them making sure they scrub every square inch of the place with a toothbrush
Mr_Conelrad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ooooh I thought you meant the maid would be happy to clean because in addition to getting paid she'd also get to keep the bottles to return for cash.
You can make some nice pocket change with that. Like, a garbage bag of them is about $5 (for cans at least)
Source: I work at a bottle and can redemption center
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:30:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Redditor_on_LSD ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:41:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone else ever woken up after a night of drinking, grabbed a beer bottle and took a swig, only to be faced with the reality that you pissed in it the night before?... I have
colourmeblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No but I witnessed a friend convince his friend that someone came in the beer he just grabbed and drank
Redditor_on_LSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, did he cum in it?
colourmeblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:34 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No. Some guy grabbed a beer off a table outside. My friend told the guy that he jacked off into it earlier.
-Sessions- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:04:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Aint nothin in this life left fo a pimp but bags full of bottles
Arx0s ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:19:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sincerely hope those are just empty soda bottles, and not piss-bottles.
stinatown ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:25:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just take the goddamn bag to the trash. Do it. Now. Just fucking do it.
I'm sorry. It just seems like you need someone in your life to be firm with you. Don't be that guy with the nine thousand soda bottles on your desk.
IndifferentAnarchist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:28:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I e just started cleaning my room after more than a year. Probably more like two, if I'm honest. Bottles everywhere.
Oscar_Geare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:32:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Crush them if possible and you have seats.
Calsmokes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:22:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just recycled 280 pounds of glass bottles the other day after a year of this and only got 25$ for it...... Switch to cans..... The payout will be better if u recycle ๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And then you're going to get a new room and start all over again
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:33:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I could kick out my roommates and have 3 extra rooms. Then I could move downstairs after those fill up!
thechilipepper0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't look inside, those bottles are moldy as shit
nastybastid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not if they're fizzy drinks or water or juice. Milk or pure fruit juice would be the only bottles that would go moldy.
thechilipepper0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah? Tell that to my beer bottles.
And various soda bottles that I've left around
nastybastid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:02 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Beer and soda must be different where you live.
thechilipepper0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:10 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, I've just let them sit for a loong time before
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, I rinse them! Yeah... I make no sense.
thechilipepper0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sure you do. It buys you time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had exactly the same issue! Still have, actually, as somewhere in a closet there's still a bag full of empty bottles I haven't had the chance to return yet.
Pachydermus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you live in Aus you can get 10c from each bottle if you take it to a recycling center!
accountnotfound ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:42:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only in SA.
Funvee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
SA doing something right.
devilwarriors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actual trash get emptied from my desk on a weekly basics, but recyclable stuff like bottle, box of cereal etc.. I just put it behind me (U shaped desk with a wall behind me).
So last week I decided to clean that shit. Turn out I filled 4 fucking medium blue transparent bag. I'm looking at them right now and I can't believe how that possible that my desk contained all of this.
Yeah I got a problem..
Cellar_Door_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
go take it out now!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
watch one episode of Hoarders, I guarantee it will give you the motivation you need.
red_eleven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Next season on Hoarders.
HeartArtichoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
g'haaaaa its not too late to take out the rubbish!!!!!
piedraa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Recycle
marganod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you are due your own show on hoarders!
CompGrl323 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If they're returnable bottles, go return them. Takes time but you get money. :D I recently looked in my garage and found bags upon bags upon bags of cans and bottles. Turns out my dad's been shoving them in the garage instead of returning them. My sister and I went to return them and made nearly $70. (At 5 cents per bottle.. that took a while.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The local high school comes by every few months and collects for their band. I usually just give it to them because the time it takes me to go to the store isn't worth the 25-30 bucks to me. I'm pretty lazy with my free time :/
They haven't come by for a while though, those little shits!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can imagine an infinite cycle. Keep filling up a saving the bags full of bottles up until the point where you need to bring in a recycling bin. Fill one of these up and keep saving bottles until you have enough bags to fill up another recycling bin. Next step would be acquiring a u-haul like truck to store all the recycling bins in. Keep filling up the bags that fill up the recycling bins that fill up the u-haul. Eventually, when you fill up the u-haul go get another. When you get enough u-hauls, go a rent one floor of a multi-floor parking garage. I'll stop there.
no_sleep_for_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Go recycle! Get money! Maybe not much, but hey, still money.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:14 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Time is my main concern in life currently. I do okay money wise. I used to take bottles back a lot and I know how much I get for it. Not worth it to me anymore for the time it takes but I want to recycle still so I just want for band kids to come by!
ljackstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You probably have40$ in deposit money...
Thorbinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You have a problem.
forrext ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not the only one, thank God.
Sonendo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:05:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did the opposite. I tied a military poncho liner to my bed as a sheet. Soft like satin.
I was too lazy to untie it and slept on the damn thing for nearly a year without washing it.
redworm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
those poncho liners are marvelous. one piece of equipment I will "lose" no matter how much gunny yells about it
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:37:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What, you slept directly on the mattress for 2 months?
yentlequible ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I've been doing. I have my sheet on the floor, but I haven't bothered to wash it in awhile.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:30:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sleeping on a newly washed sheet feels wonderful. Give yourself a treat and go wash it!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're fucking disgusting and should fix this laziness problem.
Maybe you just needed to hear it.
yentlequible ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I know... Ok, you convinced me.
anewdm ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:47:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The corner of the sheet on my bed has been off for a few months now. Someday I'll fix it.
ClintHammer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:09:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
if that's lazy I am snorlax.
I changed my sheets like seasonally. It didn't even occur to me that one should wash sheets before they were visibly dirty until I was married and watched my wife do it
MeAndMyMoose ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:55:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am currently in this situation. Made a make-shift bed on my couch.
Orange-Kid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had no idea other people did this, too.
I have a perfectly good bed with clean sheets sitting on top of it, and... nope, couch is easier.
dkstheo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:19:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Amateur.
AshAidan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't put on my quilt cover or pillow cover for 2 years.
boonamobile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Clean sheet day is my favorite day of the year
Formshifter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my first year roommate in res never washed his sheets, and when his fitted sheet came off sometime around october he never put it back on
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I washed a set of bed sheets 3 days ago, they are still in the hamper...wonder if I can beat your record of 2 months...
heavybonghits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly i've done this many times
PJamith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this, but now my girlfriend is over a lot and planning to move in, so I actually put them on immediately.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Room mate... Seen this, that shit was lazy
The_Butt_Slasher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You actually washed your sheets? You don't even know what it means to be truly lazy.
Omvega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I can't stand the feeling of sleeping with no sheets.
acadametw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this this past month.
All my sheets were lovely and clean and instead of making the bed I just wrapped myself in a single sheet and called it a day )=
Newly single. No motivation to make the bed up nice. It helped my woe.
starecontest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this
i_am_hymenberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend and I have been in our new apartment since July, washed the duvet cover and pillow cases after a few weeks..... Still don't have covers back on.
GonadTh3Barbarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Washed bed sheets. Stayed up all night because I was too lazy to put the sheets back on the bed
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just looked to my right to see my "clean" sheets that have been on my floor for 3 months... so you can say that I relate.
kamore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my life in one comment.
todles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
oh dear, this is me right now....
CoolIWas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this too, only I bought a new mattress. I slept on the couch with a sleeping bag for a month.
oriononfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Currently have been sleeping on just a mattress with my clean sheets in a pile at the end of my bed for 3 weeks now
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once washed my bad sheets and was too lazy to put them on the washing line. They got wrecked.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, I should probably so laying on this blanket and put real sheets on...
Nirvalica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'm on a month and a half now.
Clearly_a_fake_name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this recently. Slept without sheets for about 2 weeks. Got serious flea bites :O
I now sleep with sheets on!
Sammich_please ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Two months? I had the same sheet on my bed for 7 years.
glguru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For the first semester at Uni I put the bed sheet on for the first time. I quickly realized that it was a high maintenance job as the sheet would need to be done up every day. This was in Pakistan so fitted sheets were not common there at the time (and my parents were poor), so I lived without sheets for 4 years.
GaryGronk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
2 months? Were you expecting company?
devilwarriors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This hit close to home.. been two month of sleeping with only the cover and a loose sheet under me. It's now to the point where I need to wash the cover again...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hadnt washed clothes for the year ive lived in this house and i just bought more underwear and socks when i needed them. Did washing a week ago and the amount of socks is too damn high.
microTRENT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is my current situation.
Sevzor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wash my dirty laundry regularly and take it off the line as soon as it's dry. However, that pile of clean laundry stays on my bed for weeks at a time and I would just move it aside and sleep to one side of the bed.
My girlfriend has been the only one who keeps folding and putting it all the way when she comes over. I honestly don't remember the last time I've done it myself.
FrozenLava ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's only been a month for me. So far. I'm still sleeping in on the sleeping bag on the bed.
Teleporterr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
People actually use sheets?
FewFrothies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is it just me or is this just the norm every time bed sheets are washed?
jarl_the_creator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
oh my god its been well over a year for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did the same, slept on the couch for ~6 weeks. In my defense, it's a damn comfy couch.
incredimatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently on my not sheeted bed as a pile of freshly cleaned sheets lay by my feet.
manFUCKderek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I never even put them back on
butchmagraw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lol yeah, I slept in a sleeping bag on my mattress for MONTHS before I got around to putting the sheets on
tticusWithAnA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same...about 3 years ago.
Edit: I still don't use bed sheets.
Booze_Lite_Beer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't changed my sheets in..I don't know, I can't remember to be reaaaally honest. I woke up and told myself "today's the day". But I'll live another day.
NavAirComputerSlave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once but it lasted something like 2 years... I waited tell the matriss was a disgusting color of sweat to stop
efhs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The last time i did laundry was a month ago. As of this morning i am still getting dressed by taking things out of the dryer.
f_ranz1224 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is considered lazy now? I don;t even remember when i last had new bedsheets
Faxon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i've got one better. My sheets ripped through the center in 2010 sometime on a hot muggy summer night when i sweated through them and the fabric gave way (im assuming after a long period of my tossing and turning abuse combined with sweat degradation and bleaching from the washing). the sheets are still partially attached to said bed (it's a loft bed) but are totally unnoticed to all as being sheets since they're draped down under the back as if it's meant to be there. Yea, I turned my torn sheets into a drape. I also never got new sheets
K5Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every. Time.
oldlegbone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just buy new ones every time.
Bongson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, it's alright man. I washed my sheets about four months ago and still haven't put them back on. Who needs sheets, anyway?
Soyance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's been 3 and a half months for me.
fluteitup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had 2 hampers. 1 for clean clothes, the other for dirty clothes. Never put anything away
lazy_coder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this so many times. Feels good to know I'm not the only one.
bahumutx13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to just throw the sheets and blankets on the bed and sleep on the pile and considered it good enough even if I was only sleeping on half of it
xlude22x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in that exact situation right now with my pillow covers... I washed them a few months ago and still havn't put them back on.
Series_of_Accidents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After about 2 weeks, my pillow has a case again. Feels good.
donutsandtequila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, just sleep on top of a blanket and you can put it off for a good while
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
relevant username?
Spazyak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel for you except that i haven't put mine on in two years after i spilkt soda on it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
During college there was a period of time when I washed my sheets, put them on the bed, but then I'd sleep on top of my fleece blanket over the sheets. My logic: If I sleep on top of the blanket, I won't have to wash the sheets as often.
... also, this was college ... and I didn't realize there were people in the world who washed their sheets more often than every month or two. My parents didn't wash bedding more often than that, so when I started working in a bedding store and people (customers and fellow associates) mentioned that they washed their sheets every couple days I thought, "How do you find time and energy to do that?"
DancingNancy4136 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just finally hung laundry that I haven't worn since July. Found my bedroom floor in the process.
I think buying new underwear instead of doing laundry is probably my worst though.
Faggot_face12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same, it's only been 3 weeks so far though
closetalcoholic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I bought some new bed sheets because I couldn't be bothered washing mine. It's been months and they're still in the plastic packages on the floor.
LaserBeamHorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't change my bedsheets for 4 months when I was at the army. Yeah, lazy and disgusting.
Supertack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:19 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently three weeks into this cycle.
kristenp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:31 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, so you just slept on a bare mattress for 2 months? That's not lazy, its gross.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:10 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Made me laugh because mine have been hanging off my bedframe for the past month and a half, freshly washed as of a month and a half ago.
poophead112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:12 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't had sheets for a good four months.
Demand_101 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:18:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a second laundry basket so I would never have to fold laundry. One for dirty, one for clean. Rotate every wash cycle.
Nightwise ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:30:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Weirdo! You slept on the bare mattress? That has got to be some kind of sin, I'm seriously freaked out by that hahahahahaha
WobbleWobbleWobble ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:36:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's been about a month for me and my sheets are buried in my closet somewhere...
smow ยท 276 points ยท Posted at 07:04:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had the pizza guy deliver a pizza. I lived above the pizzeria.
gracefulwing ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:55:40 on March 17, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
my ex-step-mother is a traveling nurse. one time over the summer she got put in a place on cape cod and I decided to go with her just for a change of scenery. the apartment was over the pizzeria and it had a sort of flat roof on top. a couple of times I called an order in and then had the guy stand on a chair on the sidewalk and hoist it up to me while I went out the window onto the roof. goodtimes.
derekd223 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:49:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fry?
smow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:39:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Does he do this in futuramma? Cause I would love to compare myself to fry.
UnhelpfulMoron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:48 on May 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Your place must smell amazing
demandtheworst ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:45:18 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remember hearing from an independent bookshop owner, the day he realized it was time to sell up, was when the flat above the show started getting Amazon packages.
flamin_sheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:39 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I would do this
pwndcake ยท 590 points ยท Posted at 07:14:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Here are a couple:
Roommate was on the other side of the apartment, maybe 20 feet away, and we're both using our computers. Sent him an instant message to find out what he was doing and if he wanted to go grab some lunch.
Came home and tripped in the doorway, falling flat on the floor. I kicked the door shut with my foot and fell asleep for three hours.
saucydragon ยท 192 points ยท Posted at 09:34:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I arrived at my apartment to find my roommate out cold napping in the middle of the living room floor next the the steam cleaner, with all of the furniture moved to a different room and only half the floor cleaned.
Another time we were chilling in the living room and he went into his room like 5 feet away to close his blinds. I didn't see him again for three hours because while he was climbing over his bed to close them he fell asleep.
I am baffled by you people. It takes me hours to get to sleep.
Godolin ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:05:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can either fall asleep in seconds, or it'll take days.
daytonatrbo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:37:31 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In the first one, he probably leaned down to do a smell test on the clean carpet and just said fuckit.
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:35:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God that second one has me cry laughing. This thread is filled with people just falling asleep.
sassafrass14 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:26:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
LOL! I didn't trip, but after a futile effort to scrape the ice layered on my wind shield, shovel the mountain of snow the plowers left right at the end of my driveway, and deicing the keyholes on my car doors, I spun out into a ditch, just feet away from my driveway. I could have tried to get out, but I called into work instead. I said I couldn't get out of my driveway. I gave up, made cocoa, put my fuzzy pj's on and nestled back to bed. It was the best feeling ever. Until I woke up and realized everything I didn't get done today, would make double the work tomorrow. Oh well.
Level5CatWizard ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:48:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Were these two seperate invidents, or did you fall over after getting lunch and just sleep on it?
pwndcake ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:24:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Two separate instances, about 12 years apart.
shane727 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:04:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did that once. Left a party around the block from my house to walk home. I was super drunk and it was one of those times where I'm gonna sleep where I land so I had to make it home quick. It was pouring rain so I started running and my foot sank in mud and I went down hard. Tore my whole hand up, laid on the floor in defeat as the rain soaked me and fell asleep right there. Friends leaving the party the next morning found me.
juel1979 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:49:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My husband and I will log on the WoW armory app or iMessage to get ahold of each other when we're both in the same house. We used to use walkie talkies sometimes.
Godolin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That second one takes the cake.
Smile_for_the_Camera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think if I had come home to find someone sleeping in the middle of the floor, I would freak out thinking that they had a heart attack, or were knocked unconscious somehow.
Quajek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That second one sounds like it's more drunk than lazy.
pwndcake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, not drunk. Just didn't feel like getting up.
SeveralPeople ยท 2633 points ยท Posted at 05:43:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Slept on the floor for a year instead of putting together my assembly bed.
EDIT: I put it together today. Snapped a couple photos on my dads terrible... just terrible phone. Now I have an Imgur account, too, after a year on reddit with so many great photos to share but not enough motivation to create an imgur account.
http://imgur.com/a/rwhlH
EDIT: I just flushed my gum down the toilet because the trash can was in the kitchen. Someone stop me.
EDIT: Now I know why powerusers like /u/unidan and /u/_vargas_ enjoy and spend so much time on reddit. Its because they're mostly replying to real people and engaging in conversation rather than "click"... "click"... ...
explainittomeplease ยท 1326 points ยท Posted at 07:18:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh fuck. I've been at my place for just over 4 years now. I have a fantastic bed. That sits on the ground. Every few weeks I move the bed frame a few feet closer, then remember I don't have the screws for it.
There's a home depot I pass almost every day. I was THERE last week! What the hell is wrong with me, how did I only just realize that this is just laziness??
Edit: well, it took 3 days, but I finally put the frame together, and now my bed is on it!!!! It's wobbly. I'm remembering why I didn't set it up when I moved in. I'm going to have to go get and put together another bed. God. Damnit. But I'm less lazy thank to you Reddit! Seriously, thank you.
imMAW ยท 845 points ยท Posted at 09:47:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How large is your bedroom?
dan_au ยท 766 points ยท Posted at 12:21:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He moves it half the remaining distance every few weeks.
Isric ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 12:58:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Zeno's bed frame.
TheJunkyard ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 14:46:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, he moves it half the remaining difference each time. This is valuable new information.
Let's assume "a few weeks" is 8 weeks, to err on the side of caution. He's already said he moves it "a few feet" every time he moves it, so the last time he moved it he must have moved it at least a few feet (let's say 3).
52 weeks X 4 years = 208 weeks
208 weeks / 8 weeks = 26 times he's moved the bed
The last move was 3 feet, and each previous time he must have moved it twice as far.
3 x 226 = 201,326,592 feet.
We can conclude that the minimum possible size of explainittomeplease's bedroom is 76,260 miles, or approximately ten times the size of the Earth.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:00:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got it. Explainittomeplease's bedroom is in the TARDIS.
csl512 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't piss off the TARDIS. Otherwise you'll be beside yourself.
Ziazan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Where did you get "The last move was 3 feet" from? I think you pulled that figure out of your ass.
Turtle_78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"A few" commonly refers to ~3.
TheJunkyard ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:00:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed, 3 or more, but I was being conservative by picking the smallest figure possible for "a few", as I didn't want to end up with some ridiculously large size for his room or anything.
TheHoma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:39 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
What would it be otherwise?
Ziazan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's good and all, but what the guy said was "Every few weeks I move the bed frame a few feet closer", he didn't tell us what point in the half-the-distance sequence that was.
It could have easily been the first move, not the last.
TheJunkyard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Every few weeks". Every.
Ziazan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then the half-the-remaining-distance thing cannot be applied.
TheJunkyard ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:13:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If every few weeks the bed was moved at least a few feet, then on the most recent occasion it must have been moved at least 3 feet. Calculating backwards from that, on the very first occasion it must have moved at least 201,326,592 feet.
It's debatable whether 201,326,592 feet could be classed as "a few" of course, but I was taking dan_au at his word, as I figured no-one could possibly lie about something as important as this.
Ziazan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes, if we add the words "at least" then this certainly works. Or as you say, assume that he tacks a rather unusual meaning to the word "few".
Auxx ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did you even finish primary school?
TheJunkyard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Ah, I can only assume from your friendly comment that I've messed up in my calculations somehow. It's entirely likely, it was only a quick back of the envelope job, I wasn't expecting to be held to your rigorous academic standards. Perhaps you'd be kind enough to point out the flaw to me?
Edit: Wait, I got it - it's because a bedroom couldn't possibly be ten times the size of the Earth, right?
akashik ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:59:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a map of his progress so far.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:42:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eventually, he would have to movie it a fraction of an atom... he would have to - but could he?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:56:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's the turtle, his bed is Achilles.
UnwaryErmine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine it getting to the point where even the slightest movement violates the routine.
feigndad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yay Zeno!
kromem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Zeno's insomnia
psinguine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And back a quarter of the squared root of the covered distance on odd numbered weekends.
darkwingduck97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:01 on December 3, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He'll never get there!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:54 on December 14, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Here's some imaginary Gold for you.
seditious3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:48:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's the penalty. Half the distance to the wall.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:22:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
These are serious questions that need to be answered!
scubasue ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:07:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pushes it back out of the way to get past it each time.
dangerwolf1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:45:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is, the bed frame is slowly crawling away to find a more capable person. Sad, really
SomeRandomAustralian ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:42:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every few weeks (I guess 3) I move the bed frame a few feet closer (I'll guess 3 again):
52 weeks in a year x 4 = 208 208 / 3 = 69 weeks of bed-moving 69 weeks x 3 (because no. of feet) = 208 (again)
His bedroom is 208 feet or 63 metres long
spielburger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:29:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's .8 football fields
VerboseExplanations ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:14:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well since a yard is 3 feet, it's just .69 football fields. Less if you include endzones.
Xenc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Five hundred yards... that's the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile.
Gazenoth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's still pretty huge
Dysaniaj ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:43:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The bed enjoys the ground and is running away
jackiekeracky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:52:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
they just have reallllllly tiny feet
Awehh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:08:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he moves the bed around the room too
mrforrest ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:18:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming a few means an average of three, his bed has moved at least 234 feet. I'm gonna take a guess and say his room is a quarter mile wide at least.
Jonathan_DB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
quarter mile ~ 1300 feet.
That escalated quickly
mrforrest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:16 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Forgive me, I'd just gotten home from an 11 hour shift and was in that hazy state after getting back home and finally being able to poo.
Nothing2doHere123456 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
4x365+1 = 1461 feet + mattress = 2 feet wide also some extra room to come about ~1500 feet wide. Pretty big room op!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:51:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
aca
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He didnt say closer to the bed
backlace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Studio Apartment. The bed frame started in the kitchen.
deidara141 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he's a snail and moves really slow
a2a87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously he's dragging his bed frame across town a few feet at a time. Not very lazy at all.
explainittomeplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:37 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It started in my guest bedroom. Then to the hall. Spent s while there till Oct entered the living room. The living room is a vast sea of slow moving furniture. Been stuck there for a while.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 11:32:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
InfanticideAquifer ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 11:59:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username :) .
Xenc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Something to do with feet?
InfanticideAquifer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No. Ozymandias is the ancient king who built colossal wonders (such as an enormous bedroom, I guess) in the excellent poems "Ozymandias" by Percy Shelley and Horace Smith. See here. Or here as read by Bryan Cranston. Or here by Jamie Hyneman. /u/ozymendias's username is only one character off, and they claimed to have an enormous bedroom. Seems relevant.
Xenc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Even better.
yeahimdutch ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:21:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My god dude, just put your fucking bed together it sleeps so much better then sleeping on the ground! You'll have better days.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:28:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As opposed to the normal levitating beds?
explainittomeplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:37 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Give it 50 years.
OSU09 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:48:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, that's more an inability to finish a task...
Leviathan666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:04:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Order the parts online. The joy of having the bed you've wanted finally ariving in the mail will cancel out your laziness and cause you to feel enthusiasm.
g0_west ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Online shopping is something amazing that we all take for granted.
explainittomeplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:20 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
... this is such a god damn simple idea.
GatlerDOS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use a sticky note. My life without sticky notes would be a horrible.
explainittomeplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:24 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll pick those up next time I'm at home depot :)
scomperpotamus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
4 years?!? I didn't unpack a box within 4 weeks and my SO told me it was too long and put it away!! 4 years?!?
explainittomeplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:05 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. You have a SO. I live by myself. No one to tell me to clean up, or put on clothes or stop rubbing it out in the shower. It's a good life, but I need someone telling me to motivate.
TheAntiZealot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The first symptom of laziness is denial.
explainittomeplease ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
100% true.
IllinoisInThisBitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
BUY THEM TODAY!
explainittomeplease ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:41 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just finished an 11 hour shift, but I'm buying them tomorrow. Coming home to these comments has motivated me. Why is home depot closed at 10 p.m.? This is when I'm at my most active.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
explainittomeplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:21 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's the painfully slow story of a bed frame getting screwed. I like it.
GreatWombat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you can buy some screws on amazon and have them delivered to your house.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
do you live in that Jameroquie room?
explainittomeplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:50 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One day, hopefully. Minus the blood trickling down the walls.
Th3Harbinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done the same thing for almost a year now.
MrCopout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You two win. Too lazy to even put together a bed to be lazy in.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Today is the day I make my bed, explainitomeplease.
Today is the day. At 3pm central time I am going to put it together no matter what the fuck im doing. Wish me luck.
explainittomeplease ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:14 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck! I'm getting those screws first thing tomorrow! We can do this!
And yeah, I came home from work to a bunch of comments, who knew being so lazy was so interesting?
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:18 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I did it, dude. It's done.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I woke up to 25 replies in my inbox and I'm like... Wtf?! Is this what its like to have interesting things to say? And to get Karma for them?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:18 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have an Ikea bed frame (don't we all) that I specifically left behind at my parents' house when I moved out last April for the sole purpose of not having to put anything together. Because I knew I never would.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:01 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
explainittomeplease ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:28 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Two days after my first post, I bought the screws. Three days after my post I realized they weren't the right size and got frustrated. Then I went back and got the right size, and PUT MY FRAME TOGETHER!!! It was awesome! Then I put the box on, flipped my mattress (it needed it), put new sheets and pillow cases on, and it looks great!
Then I got on it. It wobbles. I forgot it wobbles. It was the reason why I hadn't put it back together, but I was too lazy (surprise, surprise) to drag it to the corner for them to pick up. So now I have to wait till I can find another frame on craigslist.
TlDr; finally set up my bed frame, it's not good enough but it'll do for now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:50 on December 3, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
explainittomeplease ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:41 on December 3, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You know it. I'm hoping to wheel it flush to the wall when the time comes, set up the other bed and somehow shove the mattress/box over. It won't end up that way but I can hope.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:24 on December 4, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
explainittomeplease ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:15 on December 4, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once it was together there was no taking it apart. I'll probably just end up Wheeling it into my guest room and putting the bed in there on it.
No one sleeps in the guest room so I don't have to worry about them getting pissed.
Prae7oriaN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Stop making excuses. There's not a single thing you could be doing that couldn't be pushed back an hour (maybe less, I dunno what your frame looks like) to put that bitch together. Put it in your calendar, go there as soon as possible, buy those screws, and screw that bitch together. You'll feel incredibly accomplished.
Stop being lazy. Be a champion.
Edit: Not trying to sound like a dick. You'll seriously feel way, way better about it. Get motivated, kiddo.
LiquidSilver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:35:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Could you make this into a motivational video? I'm too lazy to read it.
explainittomeplease ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:05 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, I need this kind of in your face just shut up and do it attitude! I'm getting them tomorrow.
How do I find out what size I need? Is there a standard size for queen bed frames?
Prae7oriaN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:00 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Any documentation with the frame? Where'd you get it? Who made it? Hard to say really since it's not in front of me. But I'd venture to guess that if you know the maker or the store where you bought it, those would be good leads. Wish I could provide more assistance beyond that though at the moment.
explainittomeplease ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:56 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, no prob, I just traced the holes on a piece of paper and brought it to home depot, GOT THE SCREWS! Tomorrow, we introduce them to Mr. Bed frame!
Prae7oriaN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:40 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There ya go! Glad you're getting it together pal.
milkradio ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:20:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this in my first apartment in university. We used two air mattresses fashioned to look like a couch on the floor instead of buying an actual couch.
Lenajayne ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:39:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You slept on the floor? Or slept on the mattress that was on the floor? Sleeping on the actual floor for a year is quite the lazy accomplishment.
Mike312 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:14:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually want to know the answer to this. There's a huge difference between "slept on the floor" and "slept on a mattress on the floor". My back has seen some things...
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to sleep on my brother's ol' futon mattress at my old place. It was soft and wide. That was like sleeping on a mattress on the floor. But I get rid of that when I moved a year ago because it looked gross. So I bought a bed frame and all i needed was a mattress. Well where the fuck am i going to put a mattress if i dont have a place to put it? So I waited on buying the damn mattress until I put together the bed frame.
A year later, I'm still sleeping on the FLOOR with nothing but a blanket and a pillow. Its carpet but... still. I fucking hate myself for it.
(im actually putting my bed together at 3pm today. ive set a goal. wish me luck)
Mike312 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should post a new topic, and if you put the bed together you'll get a bunch of karma...maybe? I hear fake internet points are great motivation.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah but my camera's like..... I don't have one.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
(i copy pasted my answer from below so this comes to your inbox. )
I used to sleep on my brother's ol' futon mattress at my old place. It was soft and wide. That was like sleeping on a mattress on the floor. But I get rid of that when I moved a year ago because it looked gross. So I bought a bed frame and all i needed was a mattress. Well where the fuck am i going to put a mattress if i dont have a place to put it? So I waited on buying the damn mattress until I put together the bed frame.
A year later, I'm still sleeping on the FLOOR with nothing but a blanket and a pillow. Its carpet but... still. I fucking hate myself for it.
(im actually putting my bed together at 3pm today. ive set a goal. wish me luck)
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:59:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like something I'd do.
iamarouet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:01:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I blame IKEA.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hobby Lobby actually but we can still blame IKEA.
Miles_Oh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:57:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For fucking real? I mean I can be lazy but BED.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Er... yes. :(
Miles_Oh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, it's okay. I think.
Back problems?
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not really when I sleep on my back. it is a flat surface after all.
But when I sleep in my belly and I have an uneven blanket underneath my and on top of me and im all lopsided and Blegh!. I wake to a very sore neck and upper back.
bldkis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:17:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:26:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been in my new place a month and we are still on a mattress on the floor, eh.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I waited on buying a mattress until i put together the frame.
I never put together the frame.
Aikidi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A year?!
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A few days over a year now. But Im putting it together today 3pm. Hope that makes me less lazy.
HanksNeckBeard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:49:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This a special kind of lazy.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tomorrow NEVER comes when you say you'll do something tomorrow.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:50:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sleeping on the floor is kinda comfy, in a fucked up way but it's supposed to be good for your back. It's easier to get up of bed in the morning too.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I do enjoy lying straight with my back all stretched out the way it does on a hard flat surface. But a bed sure does beat the floor. Its just....
dat effort
faceoftheinternet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:36:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the laziest
faceoftheinternet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I saw things that were far more dark as I ventured down this thread. I take back what I said.
SeveralPeople ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I agree. I thought I was bad.... Whew...
saucydragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:09:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you man, I once spent like two months sleeping on a deflated air mattress with a bunch of blankets piled on top of it. Granted it was deflated because my roommate's cats had popped it, not because I was too lazy to blow it up...but still...a deflated air mattress...there was a Canadian tire blocks away.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The deflated part makes this a beautiful comment.
SIOS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:16:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this in two different houses.
forrext ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:23:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not really sleeping on the floor, no big deal.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No. I literally slept on the floor. I didn't have a mattress because I was waiting to buy one until I put together my frame. I never put together my frame.
Floor.
forrext ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So, let me right this right, you slept on a mattress on the floor?
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:20 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No I didnt have a mattress until today. I SLEPT on the FLOOR next to my disassembled bed. For one year and a few days.
But hey man, I just made my bed. took 2 hours. Be happy for me. http://imgur.com/a/rwhlH
forrext ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:30 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Okay okay, stop repeating yourself, I understand that you slept on a mattress that was on the floor.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:06 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nononono. I mean seriously. I LITERALLY like 100% TOTALLY slept on the floor. Didn't even HAVE a mattress until TODAY. The bed FRAME was in PIECES for a year and ive been SLEEPING on the FLOOR. no mattress!
this is fun
forrext ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:53:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sabes que, I'm drunk but, I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor for a long time becuae sabes que its the same as sleeping on a spring box and rails which is like expensive as fuck so, its ok to sleep o the florr
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:37:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
With the mattress on the floor? Because that's what I've been doing for years now. Otherwise.....holy shit.
SeveralPeople ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No. I literally slept on the floor. I didn't have a mattress because I was waiting to buy one until I put together my frame. I never put together my frame.
The shame.
minijag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:56:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I got you beat, this wasn't me, but someone else--- Rented a fancy upscale loft, decided to refurnish everything, stayed a hotel for 2 weeks during the process. Never finished it, decided to stay at the hotel indefinitely. Roll 2 or 3 months in, decides he isn't going to finish refurnish it anytime soon, decided to rent another loft in the same area 'to save money.'. 2 Years pasts by before he steps foot in the first apartment......
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is gold. This is something where that guy needs to practice setting goals. Small ones at first to get into the rhythm of achievement.
freddy_flintstone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:02:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
holy crap. i did this for one week and i thought that was lazy
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yeah you were lazy. But you only get 7 lazy points. I get 365.
I.... win?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:21:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i slept on an air mattress for over a year. it kept getting punctures in the creases so i'd fix the punctures by super-gluing small bits of paper over them (yes, it's a good fix)
SeveralPeople ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You fixed yours. I read another reply of a guy who slept on his deflated mattress for months. lol. deflated. Made me laugh.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HA! what a LOSER! :P
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:30 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HA! Point at him! Point at him and Laugh!
FrostyPhotographer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I half assembled a ikea dresser, I'm now $250 in the hole because I tried to move it and it imploded... Still using it.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are a true IKEA customer.
Shadow_of_Nex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sparky?
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is a dog's name why would anyone have a dogs name and besides there are no dogs on the intermeow meow meow meow meow.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yup I'm with ya, mine hasn't been put together for 2 years, I've moved 4 times in that period and it's just too much trouble to put the thing together.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you set a camera up to record yourself on your computer. It will show just you sitting there motionless for hours.
All of us. Motionless. With no productivity whatsoever.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:44 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like a Dr Who script haha!
Hockey_Wizard22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The story on how it was made;
Brings girl back to room. Lays on floor and looks at her
She looks at you then turns her head. OH LOOK THERES AN IKEA BED
It shouldn't take too long to make then we can get to "sleeping" on it
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What a beautiful fairy tale.
Spazyak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ive still hyavent put the sheet on my bed after it fell off two years ago
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
:(
Spazyak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well for one it shrunk and for two I'm restless so I usual mess up the covers on my bed. Also I'm tired when I get home. I think I will put my covers on tonight
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Set a very specific time when you're to do it!
Spazyak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
thats up to the librarian in charge for teen relations
Dworgi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a roommate who did this for a year. Just never assembled the frame, mattress on floor.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is it bad that I want to one up your friend by saying I never had a mattress, I just had a frame so I've been sleeping on the floor for a year?
I feel like if I'm one upping (more like one downing) then i truly have nothing to be proud of.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Slept on the couch for three months instead of making the bed after I washed the sheets.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me. I need to buy sheets.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Several people did that
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
gud 1
MyAccount4Work ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My box spring didn't fit up my staircase when I moved into my [first ever] house (outside of my mom's). I have been reluctant to go to IKEA and buy a new bed that I can assemble in my room, so I've been sleeping on my mattress on the floor for just about 2 months now.
LaserBeamHorse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We had two boxes of stuff from Ikea just leaning against the wall and partially blocking the doorway to our living room. For almost two months. I guess we didn't need a new coffee table that much, a chair is equally good place to put my coffee cup at.
ohbuggerit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:03:18 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you my housemate? We've been in this place for over 2 years now and he put his together last week
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:16 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Yes I am.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:35:58 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
SeveralPeople ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:09 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Yes I have. I have been sleeping in a fucking bed since the night after I posted this.
I feel like man, ya know? The chest hair just won't stop growing.
JBalk9000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:13 on May 1, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Are you albino?
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:38 on May 2, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I often cant go out at night because of the illumination is overwhelmingly blinding to nearby pedestrians.
Unidan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:57 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wink
mistermez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No one can fall asleep during an assembly anyway.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SeveralPeople ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nah
44Diamonds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's it. You win the internet today.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
gasp! I've never won the INTERNET before! Thank you!
44Diamonds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have some... Reddit Gold
Yeah... Gold
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:00 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've won gold before. It's a'ight. Replies are better.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nah
MiniaturePinscher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Steve?
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nah
ILoveKittens69 ยท 3566 points ยท Posted at 04:10:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was drunk one night and decided the bathroom was to far away. So I pissed in my cats litter box. Didn't feel like cleaning it up in the morning so I just threw the whole litter box in the garbage.
nickpickles ยท 1051 points ยท Posted at 07:29:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Are you my brother? He did the same thing while staying at my parent's house for the night (we were both adults by then). I got a call a day later saying "Nickpickles, I did somehing really bad at mom's house..." and I'm thinking he broke something or drank all their booze. Nope. Got blacked-out drunk and crawled to the catbox and rained an 18-beer fountain on it. Like standing piss in the box. The next morning my younger brother found it and asked what the fuck and my older brother covered it by saying "I dunno, the cat was making some weird noises lastnight."
This was actually the second piss-related incident at my parent's house that month involving him and alcohol.
EDIT: Holy shit sorry guys, I typed this and then went to bed. I'll give you a double-dose of my brother.
The other piss story: So my mother has five boys, and at the time the ages were under-10 to mid-20s. My older brother (the oldest of us all, we'll call him Gary) got tasked with watching the younger ones at my parent's house. He decided to come over and party it up while on kid patrol. Ten beers and a bunch of shots, pretty much turning babysitting into a drinking game. My parents get a call an hour after they left from a younger brother saying "Gary is passed out on the ground, and the other brother is hitting him with a wiffle bat." They rush home to find Gary ass'd out in the living room floor, at 9PM, with all of the lights on and the TV blasting BET music videos. Dad's pissed but they make the most of it
My older brother eventually crashes on their downstairs couch. The next morning, the birds are out and it's the morning time. My dad comes downstairs to find my brother gone. He walks over to the couch and steps in a soaked part of the carpet. He goes down to sniff. Dad instincts know what it is. Apparently sometime in the middle of the night Gary decided that he'd just take his penis out and start peeing, arc'ing it over the side of the couch onto my parent's white carpet. Again, this was a deep beer piss. We're talking a 4' x 3' zone just inundated with urine. My parents got a carpet cleaner out there and made my brother pay the bill. Also: told the whole extended family.
One final story:
So my older brother, Gary, is hanging out with my parents and partying and they decide to go out to a bar. They live in Alaska, in a smaller town, and decide to go to a trashy one. It's the one the Daily Show interviewed people in front of when they went to Wasilla to make fun of Palin. Everyone is having a good time until some cougar comes over and starts hitting on my dad (he's in his late 40s but looks young). Mom gets pissed and decides to leave with father in tow. Older brother stays. Fast-forward to five hours later. It's 4AM and my mother hears the doorbell ring. It's pitch black outside and the dead of winter (a few feet of snow, 10 degrees F, some wind) so she flips on the light and opens the door. Sees my brother and said cougar that hit on my dad on the porch, wasted. My brother is holding her in his arms. He says "HEYYY MOMMM" all slurred and tried to walk in. My mother, still pissed, just slams the door and turns off the porch light.
When the door opened the cabbie in the driveway backed up and rolled out, so my brother and this girl had to sit on the porch and call another cab and wait out there for half an hour. I think my brother was actually going to try to fuck said cougar on my parent's couch, the same one he pissed off of.
TL; DR: Brother has drinking problem.
Some fun facts about my brother: my brother is currently dating a woman my mother's age. Everyone's cool with it. My brother is an alcoholic and it's been getting worse. Alcohol is pretty routine in my family and in Alaska, hence why I had to dry out at 23 because I was drinking all day. He's been on steroids for a bit. He once successfully used Saran wrap as a condom after a Ziplock bag didn't work, with a girl he met at a bus stop (he doesn't ride the bus). Brother owns 100 pairs of shoes.
kvltc0re ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 10:30:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we're gonna need to hear about that first incident.
LouisianaHotSauce ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 10:46:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i'm gonna need to hear those cat noises.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:54:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This... escalated. mraaaaaowwww
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
MMMRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE
nickpickles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:42:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Updated with two more stories!
ClubQracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OP pls respond
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Updated with two stories! Sorry to keep you waiting I was asleep and had no idea!
Xiao44 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 13:14:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't handle "I dunno the cat was making weird noises last night." My co workers think I am a loon now for crying who laughter in the break room.
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Happy you enjoyed it! I laugh, but then I remember it's my life :(
Updated with two more stories.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:47:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pinkmeanie ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:56:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What did you tell them?
Byrnerat101 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:17:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That she was out of her mind. Who the fuck would steal a kitten and bring it to work... I mean, I don't work in a chinese restaurant...
adambuck66 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:57:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe a puppy though.
sharpie660 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:20:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
have you ever seen a movie where they intentionally set it up for a sequel and never deliver? Neither have I. Get typing' OP.
Carako ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:31:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The Mario Bros. Movie does that.
ColonelScience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shut the hell up. That movie never happened.
EvanC313 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The Incredibles
daBroviest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
... aren't they making a sequel now?
EvanC313 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure... isn't it kind of late? Their audience has kind of moved on.
daBroviest ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
NO ONE IS EVER TOO OLD FOR PIXAR
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OP delivers. Sorry about that. Two stories added.
Sentinell ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:22:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of my cousin. He went for some beers after work and his girlfriend heard him come somewhere around 01:00. It took a while before he came to bed, so she went to check on him. She found him peeing in the trashcan.
He was 36 when he did this. And it was a weekday, so he had to go to work the next morning.
nickpickles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A true adult!
copperbricks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:20:47 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a teenager, your brother sounds like a god
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:31 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I'll forward him that the teenage population is psyched.
SeasickSykes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And the first; for all those who are curious?
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Updated with two more!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Now you know you're gonna need to tell us the other one as well.
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Edited it to add additional stories. Thanks for reading!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, I love the kind of irrelevant last sentence. or does amount of shoes owned somehow correlate with alcohol problems?
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Little bit of column A, little bit of column B.
dspman11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:16:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother is "ILoveKittens69", eh?
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My brother would look at reddit in the same way he sees a toaster powered on cum: no idea what it does, how it works, or why it's invented.
Also: updated my post with some extra stories.
Nickpickle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
dat user name!
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
NIIICCEEEE! You're the reason I added the s.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just want to know about the 100 shoes. Why that many? Is it really needed??
nickpickles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He works in the oil fields and drops money on whatever. His old apartment had a "shoe room" which was just shoes everywhere with a basketball bleacher bench to sit on and try them shits on. He likes to match his shoes to his shirt and hat. I love the guy to death but holy fuck are we complete opposites. He's actually really funny and I like to see what he's dropping money on and he has a kind heart, so whatever. And for Christmas he did get me some really nice Rockports and some whey/crazy speed pills from GNC. Dude nailed exactly what I wanted (except the Roxylean speed pills, but they worked so strike another point for Gary!).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Makes sense now. Thank you.
nickpickles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for reading!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad I did. I almost started laughing out loud in class!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:46 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's 200 shoes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! Sober here, and have the Andre champagne logo tattoo'd on me to remember the old days by. Ugh.
JiveMasterT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gary sounds like a good time.
nickpickles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spent six days in Vegas on coke with Gary. It was a great time.
mildlyAttractiveGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:24:40 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Easily the best part of the post.
nickpickles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:11 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! He's buying more shoes and I'm sitting here eating a Lean Cuisine in my North Hollywood apartment.
skinsfan55 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:29:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lol @ "the cat was making some weird noises"
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for reading. Put two more on there.
rafiislost ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:14:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Something something this must be answered!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:54:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Randomly vague agreement!
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I updated it with more stories and info. Sorry didn't mean to be the OP with the old safe.
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Added two stories!
mrdorwart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is the first a story worth telling?
nickpickles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Updated with two stories!
TwistedFabulousness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant excuse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You've probably heard this before, but your brother sounds like a character.
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He absolutely is! I'm happy to have him as family.
HikerAdam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother makes me incredibly sad. =(
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:34 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, he'll find himself.
thebeefytaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:58 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My parents once thought my brother was an alcoholic, because they found a bottle of piss in the hallway. Seeing that, they assumed he had gotten blackout drunk and couldn't figure out how to get into he bathroom, so he pissed in a bottle in the hallway.
It was juice.
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahahaha! Whoa how strict are your parents?
TheHappyClown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:14 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OP please respond
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:17 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did- What else do you want to know?
TheHappyClown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:16 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I meant to reply to /u/ILoveKittens69 so we could find out if he is your brother
schmearcampain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:52 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So your brother almost fucked Sarah Palin? Niiice.
nickpickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:47 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actually my parents somewhat know the Palins. I got invited to a baby shower once. I used to tell my ex "watch out their fertile, you might come back with a kid". Maybe that's why she's my ex?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:17 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Props to you for recognizing the problem and fixing it. This is my second reply to this comment (now that there was an edit, I've re-read and decided to add my short story).
So my buddies and I got hammered one night, I ended up passing out on the couch, and my other friend... let's call him Salazar, passed out on the floor. The guy who lived there, Herbert, was asleep in his queen sized bed in his room. Well at one point in the night (I was having pretty restless, half conscious sleep) I hear what I think is the sound of piss bouncing off the carpet. It was a very distinct sound, even in my delirious state. Right next to the computer. Moments later, I hear Salazar slowly go to the ground and then basically collapse and pass out.
I didn't tell him til about a month later and his response was "Oh... so I guess thats why I woke up with my dick hanging out of my pants". When we told Herbert, he said "Well I guess thats why my computer smelled like piss for a month"
monkeyhammar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1554 points ยท Posted at 05:26:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MFORCE310 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:47:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The solution wasn't even dumping the litter box out which would have been pretty much just as easy. It's that OP tossed the whole box.
purenitrogen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:26:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
.
Dparse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:24 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We do?
purenitrogen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:52 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
.
Gamma_Goblin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:11:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever taken out the trash before? Very similar, but not too funny.
TheDude1990 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:21:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
His( I am assuming here) username also made me giggle after reading the comment and then seeing the name.
wistfulthinking ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:42:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How many people scrolled back up to see what the username was?
...cause I did.
givethezombiespizza ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:56:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
are you a wizard?
tamerfa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:33:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What is his username? I'm too lazy to scroll up.
Comquter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:02:51 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I finally decided to scroll up 3 months later and I found out that his username is ILoveKittens69. You're welcome.
tamerfa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:45:05 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
HA HA HA, a perfect timing for the comment, congratulations!
Comquter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:15 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I've sacrificed so much just to scroll and now I have been redeemed. Thank you again for the gold.
CommonComus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Something kind of relevant, I think.
Kindhamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you man, now I gotta scroll :(
wistfulthinking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This might take the cake; when several people are in agreement that scrolling or swiping your thumb up for two seconds is just too much. http://i.imgur.com/2Gz9uHL.jpg
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 06:52:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sabjsc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:30:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I chortled at the word "chortled"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:34:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was really hoping it would end with him using the little scooper to clean out his own urine globs while his cat looked on disappointedly.
WhatTheFhtagn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:09:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"INTO THE TRASH IT GOES"
Prestler6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:39:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not really
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:01:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jklap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:14 on March 17, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
This was the exact visual I got as well.
desertfox14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your word choice is amusing, mr fun boat.
rocketman0739 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:38:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Especially since "thrusted" isn't a real word.
MangoesOfMordor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:57 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, sooner or later every English verb will be regular. Who are we to obstruct progress?
rocketman0739 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:00 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Never going to happen. Can you think of any natural language in which the word for "to be" is regular?
edit: oh, and also--
What is this supposed to mean? The "progress" of language change is a natural process with no inherent moral value. Whatever a language would turn into if we all tried not to interfere is in no way better than what it would turn into (or what it would remain as) if we did try to interfere. There's no Prime Directive in force here.
MangoesOfMordor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:31 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
All right, there are a few verbs which may never be regular. That was definitely an overstatement. And "Who are we to obstruct progress" was essentially a joke. If I were being completely serious I might say, "I'd rather more verbs were regular. to be honest. I've no problem letting people make the error until it becomes the dominant mode of speech." If people adamantly oppose the change, though, you're right, it isn't going to happen, and neither way is inherently more correct, aside from the fact that one is commonly used and the other is not.
rocketman0739 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:43 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, sure. But if we try to slow down language change as much as possible, we'll be able to read classics of historic literature for longer, and it seems to me that that would be worth it.
MangoesOfMordor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose that's true. I had never thought of that.
My thinking was that certain changes (basically the ones that make the language in general more regular and predictable) would make the language easier to learn, which would be good since so much of the world is learning it.
But you make a good point as well.
Aural_B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The username helps.
Blix3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting choice of words.
hobowithmachete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That, and I'm also imagining the cat having nowhere to take care of its business in the morning and being really confused.
ebac7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't need this bullshit"
chuck
savageboredom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure a gif of that taken from an infomercial exists somewhere, but I can't be bothered to find it.
comineeyeaha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I wasn't sitting in class right now, his comment would have made me erupt in laughter. I had to fight it really hard.
Kaeskay ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:04:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
didn't even walk to the garbage, threw it out the window
Randosity42 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:25:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thrustedboxes
jessticless ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 06:02:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have also peed in my cat's litterbox cuz drunk me didn't want to walk down the hall. I'm a girl.
c_mcfly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:08:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lived upstairs and the bathroom was downstairs. I was blackout drunk, pissed in the litter box, and woke up the next morning thinking it was a dream. Nope. I don't remember making this decision to use the litter box but I assumed my drunk brain thought I wouldn't make it down the flight of stairs. All of my friends and family still laugh about this but I'm just glad to know that there is someone else who made this decision in their drunken state of mind.
Jonny_Osbock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can imagine the cat first looking totally confused and then attacking you while peeing in her toilet.
jde824 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think I want to meet you.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 09:05:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pissed in my cats litter box when I was like 8 because it pissed me off and I thought it would be hilarious, after that for the longest time that damn cat would poop in my bed if I didn't close my door.
dedphoenix ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:40:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would love to see your cat's face when it discovered this random unbridled declaration of poo box dominance.
milkradio ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:16:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm laughing so hard that I'm now wheezing.
Gawkman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me too!!!! I was in tears 5 minutes ago, and reading all these comments... still laughing!!!!
illepic ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:22:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least you established dominance.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
These comments are fucking hilarious.
Or I'm drunk.
Or both!
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 06:31:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cat's like "da fuk!?"
Not_Steve ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 07:23:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Who peed here?! Human...?"
gotacastleinbrooklyn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:04:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
More like "why the fuck did you just toss my litter box out the window?"
girrrrrrr2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:19:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can just imagine the cat looking at you peeing in its box wondering what the fuck you were doing... and then watching you throw it out the window while yelling im not cleaning this up.
KyalMeister ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:26:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Imagining this from the cat's perspective is hilarious.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:05:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ILoveKittens69 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:07:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We had an extra litter box in the closet incase something like this happened.
WorldCat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:47:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was drunk a few weekends ago and the bathroom next to my room was too far so I chose to pee in my laundry bin that was full of clothes. That was just wonderful the next morning.
gnarledout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant
knittingnola ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the laugh I've wanted to do this too.
Etanclan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was the cat peeing at the same time..? Your username scares me.
GayKingDavid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is boss.
votarak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But you love your Kitten. wait Ohgod
CarlaWasThePromQueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. I did this at a party once in a strangers house. Pretty sure people were getting it on in bathroom so I had no option. I just remembered this after many years.
Scareynerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend does this in her sleep. A lot.
stayloa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was the only one! I've done this too!!
jdsizzle1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
every time my old roommate decided to make queso he had to buy a new crock pot because he never wanted to clean it afterward. Every single time.
Guido125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your username makes it a better story.
NIPLZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your cat must've been pissed.
anscmc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This one's my favorite.
Najd7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This story plus your name make me not want to know any more details about your relationship with your cat(s).
livingmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be lying if I said I've never puked in my cat box while super wasted instead of going to the bathroom. Ended up tossing it out the next day too. I'd also be lying if I said I've only done this once... Haven't ever peed in it though but the thought sure has crossed my mind a few times. But I'm a girl so that would be harder...
salladallas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll confess to peeing in the cat box a few times. But not out of laziness, but from being blackout drunk.
hopsinduo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm hoping you are female too. The thought of a grown woman squatting over a litter tray as your cat looks on disappointed is making me chuckle.
timetocellin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took a shit in the litter box once, because I didn't want to go upstairs to poop.
Jed118 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just piss in the sink? I do it all the time to save time in the morning when I am brushing my teeth. (it takes me 10 minutes from waking up to getting out the door, including breakfast - I like to sleep as late as possible)
YahTrickYahh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Iv done it into empty waterbottles
Nowin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is easily the best one. The amount of work to 1) aim at the litter box, 2) throw away a litter box full of litter (15-20 lbs.?) and then 3) have to replace it with cat litter and everything certainly outweighs using one's own toilet.
TheBestWifesHusband ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I read it as "threw it into the garage" - My cat stopped using it's littler box (she's an outside cat) so i just threw her litter box, full of litter and probably cat pee, in the garage.
gundog48 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did a similar thing when I was young. The bathroom was downstairs and I was too lazy and scared of the dark to go in the middle of the night. I pondered on it briefly and realising that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep like this I proceeded to piss under the wardrobe. My logic was flawless.
potatopride ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your username makes this post 10 times more satisfying.
Tis_Simply_Shmee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
at a [7] this was exactly what I needed. The imagery is just too much!
Dacowta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You love kittens so much that you wanted to be one yourself
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once pissed in a glass in my room because I couldn't be bothered to go to the toilet across the hallway. Found out my bladder's capacity is more than a pint.
murica4357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just pissed my litter box laughing at this.
chamora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tucker Max?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My housemate last year took a piss in one of his socks because he was too drunk to make it to the bathroom which is right next to his room.
Problem was, his girlfriend was trying to sleep in the room at the same time so when she heard the stream she woke up and asked what the hell he was doing. Which in turn freaked my housemate out because he was so drunk and forgot she was there, so he threw the piss covered sock at her mid-piss.
Chilli_Axe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Been there, done that.
schmeryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was drunk last winter (Wisconsinite) and peed outside instead of going upstairs since my sister's fiancรฉ was occupying the ground floor one.
aeiah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone who did exactly the same thing, except he had a shit not a piss. and it was in the kitchen bin not the litter tray. and he didn't throw it out.
xTugboatWilliex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was also drunk and thought the bathroom was too far away so I stood up, opened the window a pissed into the side yard.
pandasforkarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Says "ILoveKittens69"
SeeDeez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I puled in a metal trash can one night. Put it outside to hose it down the next day. And there it remained for 2 years until I moved.
IntrinSicks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ive done that before twice, but the cat box is near the toilet, somewhere in my drunk brain I associate littler box with pee so thats where I should pee
Mrcharger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ironic username...
nahfoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username?
CaptainIndustry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what it must feel like to be a rich person. Don't bother with the dishes. Gold plated dishes are a dime a dozen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Usually if I'm drinking in my room I'll piss in empty beer bottles and cans. The worst part is that the bathroom is five steps away from my room, so much shame.
js155306 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I did the same thing to my parents' cat when I was living at home.
This cat was the bane of my existence - he was too fat to properly bathe himself and resisted all attempts to put him on a much-needed diet by making our lives a living hell whenever his food bowl was empty. He would even resort to eating out of the dogs' food bowls and tipping over garbage cans in search of scraps.
So one night I came home drunk, and of course the cat met me at the door, crying incessantly for food. Right then and there, I decided "it's about time I teach this bastard a lesson."
I made for the laundry room while the cat repeatedly threw his body in front of my feet, trying desperately to redirect me toward the kitchen. Not today. I flung open the laundry room door, unzipped and let loose into his litter box, loudly repeating "NOW YOU KNOW, MOTHERFUCKER, NOW YOU KNOW WHO'S THE TOP DOG AROUND HERE" over and over until I had finished my business.
I then went to bed and forgot all about the incident until a week later when my dad started to complain that the cat had been pissing in the garage.
Rooivalk1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
relevant username ^
comineeyeaha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure why, but throwing an item in the garbage during a joke is one of the funniest things to me. There's a moment in It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia where Frank tells the gang to "just throw me in the trash" instead of buying him an expensive coffin. Favorite moment in the show. Last week on Parks and Recreation, Ben realizes the game he made is useless and he says "That's ok, I'll just throw all of this in the garbage". Best joke in the whole episode. I can't explain it, but you've once again tapped in to my favorite comedic moments. Thank you.
kylemaoin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My ex girlfriend was toilet training her cat. She had this thing that was essentially a round litterbox that went under the toilet seat and there was a series of rings in it so you could punch a hole in it bigger and bigger to acclimatize the cat to eventually just using the toilet.
Anyway, I hated moving this thing to take a piss but it wasn't that big of a deal. One night we're drinking there and at this time the hole has got to the point where it's big enough to tempt me to just piss straight through. I manage it with just a dribble in the litter and am pretty satisfied with my aim so I figure that's how it's gonna be from now on. So the next morning I woke up and find that I'd gotten so drunk I had pissed 90% of the litter into the bowl and now there was just this ring of gray soupy piss directly under the toilet seat. I just left it and hoped she'd think it was the cat.
SmugSceptic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Priceless thanks for sharing.
snooze01 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:09:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting this post except with a gatorade bottle. The litter box is a hilarious twist, plus the ending.
chiropter ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:57:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i don't know if laziness can get much more short-sighted than this
TightAssHole234 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:14:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
evidently, you're also too lazy to spell 'too' with two "O"s.
44Diamonds ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:40:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
THE WORLD IS YOUR LITTER BOX!!
ExaminedPear ยท 4069 points ยท Posted at 02:06:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I downloaded a movie instead of going upstairs to grab the DVD.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1340 points ยท Posted at 02:07:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And the movie was?
ExaminedPear ยท 693 points ยท Posted at 02:11:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The Avengers
GraphicRed ยท 508 points ยท Posted at 05:52:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's on Netflix, you could have taken it to the next level.
T_White ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 06:00:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think because it was on Netflix, he did take it to the next level. That's like saying, "The movie was on the floor right next to me, just under my chair... like, seriously within reaching distance with minimal effort, just right there, and I downloaded it."
GraphicRed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:09:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I rarely download anything, but when I do, I use UseNet. This requires me to download what I want, then I have the extra steps of unrar and par2. I guess in my world Netflix is less work, at least.
CoolGuy9000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
SABnzbd can automatically unrar for you :D
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:30 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sabnzbd + CouchPotato, my friend.
iamstephano ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:01:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone uses Netflix.
deesmutts88 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 08:14:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I love some U.S redditors assumptions that everybody in the world has Netflix.
Astrokiwi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mediahint gives you US netflix anywhere in the world, which is nice.
PartyPoison98 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:33:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well it is in the US and most European countries, which I would imagine makes up the majority of Reddit
meltphace26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:38:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
most western and northern european countries
kosanovskiy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:18:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a university student and with 60k of debt, I cant afford netflix, $8 can feed me for 2 weeks. So unless someone would be willing to share I have to bootleg everything I have, including games. Netflix cheap, my ass.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:36:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ok how do you eat for 1 week off of 4 usd? I'm unable to get under 40 EUR. I could stop eating meat and drinking coffee and subtract household goods and personal hygiene. But then it's still 25-30 at best.
jackiekeracky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
bags of grains & pulses
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking about doing that. I always spend tons on small packages of rice. No clue where to get it though.
jackiekeracky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:54 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK, you can generally get massive bags of stuff from Asian food stores
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:32 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll check them out thanks
kosanovskiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Coupons man, until I went into the financial shit hole I never realized their true potential. Also what I mostly eat is rice, eggs, and soy sauce. I know its not the healthiest thing out there but it gets me by.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. Where do you find them? I only ever get coupons for Big Macs brrr. Btw I think your base diet is pretty healthy especially if you add milk. Rice gives you energy and fiber and eggs contain fat and a cocktail of many kinds of proteins. milk and eggs will get you nearly everything.
kosanovskiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:03 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The Sunday papers. In our University the library gets free papers for students so I always pick up a copy or two at the library on Mondays and look for coupons I want. Yeah I like milk, but its rare for me to have some since it less often to have a sale on milk that it is on eggs. Also because sale is on gallons of milk usually i wouldn't want to waste it if I don't finish it. C'mon $.79 for a dozen that's enough to last me more than a week. LOL and the rice I buy a giant bag once at the Chinese district for $17 and that shit lasts me like 3-4 months. But yeah university really does teach me to treasure the Thanksgiving and Christmas feast I get to have back when I'm home.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:25 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yea there's always a good side to everything. Thanks for the tip, I'll get a newspaper and see.
kosanovskiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:34 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, yet still cant afford netflix LOL.. back to bootlegging
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yea man just watch out. Those wolves don't give a damn about you or anybody else for that matter. After all they are doing great so why can't you? Being in red sucks!
kosanovskiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:24 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, but after a while red teaches you to appreciate the little things in life... like top ramen, and pretty much anything else in the world lol...God I hate being in debt to these universities lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:15 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's commendable just don't become a defeatist ;) Excuse me for my patronizing stance.
kosanovskiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:41 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, no worries. Yeah lol for me only way is up XD so I'm not too worried about being defeated
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:04 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well for my friends it was like 1-2k so assuming it's the same in Australia I guess you're pretty safe from sliding further. When I was a student I had 50 bucks a week, and I found it nearly impossible to live off 7.10 a day! Kudos!
kosanovskiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:50 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, yeah kudos to you as well. Some people wouldn't be able to even do $50 a week. mumbles something about spoiled rich fuckers
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:26 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well spending money is very easy.
PartyPoison98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was referring to its availability, not it's affordability
kosanovskiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, sorry for butting in then.
iamstephano ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:38:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every movie or tv show related thread; "The most underrated movies... ON NETFLIX" I can watch anything any other way if I want to, I don't understand the fascination with Netflix.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use maxdome. SAVE US!!!
iamstephano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use torrents, oh no...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Germany? Bad idea man. I literally had 2 friends who had to cough it up. About 1-2k. So if you're not up for that better stay away from hollywood movies.
iamstephano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in Australia, I torrent movies I haven't seen and if I like them enough ill buy them on blu-ray.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh I wouldn't know about Australia. Safe to stay inside I suppose! But ya took the words right out of their mouths! They both had quite the collection.
The_lonly_one ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 06:00:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mind blown
ALIEN_VS_REDDITORS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:42:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can't remember my password, meh, I'll just torrent it
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:38:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know this is unrelated (somewhat), but your username is amazing.
daredevilk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:10:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought Netflix just because the downloaded movie was on a different hard drive.
Lady_Tedwina_Slowsby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:31:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get the free trial, cancel it after the movie
fatnino ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:26:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's on YouTube too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_WwO9e-s64
gainsdyslexiafromyou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That involves logging in our signing up, too much effort.
GRANDMA_FISTER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:52:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he doesn't live in the usa
el_duderino88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ya I usually just watch it on Amazon or netflix instead of walking across the room and putting the dvd in..
LegionKDR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Netflix.com/woody Free month
Pussmangus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:42:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yeah but then you have log in
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:59:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This movie was tedious to watch. For reference, I don't follow any of the super hero movies, I didn't see Superman (the new ones, the old trilogy is amazing) or any of the latest super hero movies (oh yea Iron Man, never watched it). Watching the Avengers was like America the commercial sponsored by the multitude of name brand products blatantly advertised throughout the 96 hour ordeal. On top of that, there was no plot. Just explosion featuring somewhat larger explosion. One of the super heroes lost their powers when they needed them most. A bomb almost went off. Fuck that movie, from the bottom of my heart.
lukeyq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:36 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watch independance day. You'll love it.
NewTooRedit ยท 2826 points ยท Posted at 03:24:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Albert Einstein
berrics94 ยท 1638 points ยท Posted at 05:02:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And that Albert Einstein's name?
Ibanez7271 ยท 2748 points ยท Posted at 05:11:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Movie.
Thanks.
TheMariachiDingo ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 07:11:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait a minute, something went wrong.
entirely_irrelephant ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 07:28:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, fuck it. We'll figure it out in the morning. yawn.
PoisonousPlatypus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:24:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What's a morning?
roxxe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
let's go bowling
Speculater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's morning. He meant IQ, the comedy with Einstein in it.
baconcape_com ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:44 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well I am already in my pyjamas...
Jackson17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It is the morning
zeaga ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 08:16:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
WE HAVE TO GO BACK
TO_THE_FUTURE ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 08:20:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Any ideas as to where?
zeaga ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 08:21:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I really REALLY wish you weren't made for this.
NickDownUnder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:54:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They made a new account just to make that joke, got 16 upvotes
LongtermBurner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:17 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
WORTH IT.
NickDownUnder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:52 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bit late but yeah it was
TO_THE_FUTURE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:54 on December 12, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went back /u/TO_THE_FUTURE just to show you how late one can be! Ha!
Ok I'll stop
NickDownUnder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:53 on December 12, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hi again
LongtermBurner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:22 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I got a reply on this thread, so I figured I'd check out the new replies while I'm here, y'know, do a little sight-seein'
NickDownUnder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:34 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Fair enough. Seen much good on here?
Edit: gonna sleep now. It's one am here
LongtermBurner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:46 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I particularly enjoyed that one.
NickDownUnder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:36 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. Thats awesome
LongtermBurner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:51 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So you doing this secret santa thing?
NickDownUnder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:09 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Secret Santa? First I heard about it...
LongtermBurner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:49 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://redditgifts.com/page/secret-santa/?source=100k
I would, but I'm poor as crap. My rent just went up, too, so even more so lately. Seems like a cool idea, though.
NickDownUnder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:46 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would but I'm 15..
LongtermBurner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:32 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well maybe in a few years lol
zeaga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think I got that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I dig it
3AYATS ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:48:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then who was phone?
TheRealNordex ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:43:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cheeky bastard
boringOrgy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:52:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, Movie.
LongtermBurner ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:02:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, THIS IS PATRICK!
just_an_ordinary_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then who was phone?
Erkkiks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
FINLAND!
ONE_ANUS_FOR_ALL ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:44:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Til Albert Einstein's name was Movie, actually.
ImAnAlbatross ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:27:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
(wat)[http://funnyphotodump.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/65-wat.jpg]
Edit: too lazy to fix formatting
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:55:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to change 4 brackets.
Types 32 characters explaining this.
ImAnAlbatross ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But then there's the backspacing and i have to click to each bracket, which is hard on a laptop, and if i miss it i have to use the arrows... it's exhausting
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I understand. If I may suggest... I usually try to break overwhelming tasks into pieces. Maybe create a shortcut on your desktop that links to the comment. Then, once a day, for four days (or you can take days off, of course) just concentrate on changing one of the brackets. Before you know it, you'll be all done! It will feel really great when you've finished it, I'm sure!
ImAnAlbatross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:06 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
let me give you an idea of how lazy I am. Been without health insurance for a year and a half because after taking 4 months to send in my application, they sent it back to me because i forgot to include a photocopy of my birth certificate or passport. If I'd returned it that week with the proper document, i wouldn't have to fill out a new form. since I was too lazy to do such, I've been putting off refilling the form (takes 5 minutes tops) for a year.
Did i mention my girlfriend works in a post office?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:03 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is lazy! Irrisponsibly so! It's resonating strongly with my own experience. At my previous place (I'm at my parents' now because I'm lazy ), I owned one plate and one bowl.
"Oh that's so sad. Poor lonely bachelor!" you might think. AND YOU'D BE AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT WRONG. You see, the dishes were for guests. If you couldn't put it in a tortilla or eat it out of a can, I didn't eat it. No dishes for me.
"Oh, disgusting, this guy only ate re-fried beans and cheese. Good thing he moved home!" YOU'RE 0 FOR 2. I said "if you couldn't put it in a tortilla" not "if it isn't traditionally found in a tortilla". I ate more than my fair share of salad burritos. Granted, one's "fair share of salad burritos" is squarely zero salad burritos, but be assured, I ate a lot of salad burritos.
Also, like, a fuckton of tortillas, in general.
sinister_exaggerator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:23:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
With Rob Schneider as...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:29:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But then who was DVD?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:49:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I like this place.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:52:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how many one-word, gilded comments there are.
spartan117au ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:14:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Beautifully executed.
9/10
Youssofzoid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. That was the one clever comment I ever thought of and you beat me to it.
Ibanez7271 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I still think you're clever :) I made the comment figuring one person would see it, wtf!
The_lonly_one ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:00:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And the Movie's name?
t_F_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cost: $100
just_an_ordinary_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I heard some scenes were so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.
BootyBucket ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:11:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit gets weirder than usual at this hour.
DotaWemps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But who was the phone?
enemawatson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Directed by M. Night Shamalama.
JuiceCanteen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Trebla Neitsnie.
hugothenerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Condoms Underthesink
BLUNTYEYEDFOOL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
for fucks sake. (Rice Krispies everywhere)
papajohn56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gabe Newell.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Adolf Hitler
Tomphilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yahoo Serious.
eightballart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yahoo Serious.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha, you set up the joke and Ibanz7271 got the gold! I would be so pissed if I were you. Don't you hate it when that happens?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:34:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The only severely overused internet joke that still literally makes me laugh
OldWolf2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:18:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You got more points for this than my last 1400 Albert Einstein jokes
Charlie_went_Brown ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:47:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Could someone please explain this joke to me?
Jesse_V ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly you've never been on Facebook.
usrdt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:31:11 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/e/einstein-god.htm#.UpXzx9JFZLs
blazingdonut2769 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:33:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone link me to where this stated? I see it referenced all over reddit and I wills like to know the origin.
Just_like_my_wife ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:55:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too soon.
Hitmonlundgren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
2070 paradigm shift?
Sir_Tinklebottom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I dont know if you mean this is a /r/thathappened type of thing, but I have also done this. I decided the 10 minutes to download it wouls be way more worth it to me than getting up and finding iy.
CantUseApostrophes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it just seems unlikely to those with slower Internet, myself included.
Sir_Tinklebottom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I mean, I don't have terribly fast internet, but I mean a movie is like 800mb, and at 1.7mb/s download speed, it doesn't take too long to get. Much easier than going upstairs, looking to see where it was last, ect.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My old username was new2reddit but I forgot my password
ModernDayEinstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody call me?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You must not be new to reddit then.
NewTooRedit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
New is a relative term. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_relativity
brohouzer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:23:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rampart
nice_try_someone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:06:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...RIAA...
wangstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
MPAA*
DocZ6393 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Backdoor sluts 9
YargainBargain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:16:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did this last Saturday, except I didn't want to walk back to my apartment (a whopping two blocks) to get it. So I downloaded 28 Days later because my girlfriend showed interest in watching it.
So while the movie is downloading we go out to the grocery store to get ice cream, which is literally in between our apartments. Then we went back, realized it wasn't done. So we had sex to pass the time until the movie was finished downloading.
We watched not more than five minutes of that movie before she got freaked out and we switched to a comedy.
tekgnosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Young Einstein
packyourshit ยท 2736 points ยท Posted at 04:18:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I downloaded a car instead of walking outside to my driveway.
bem13 ยท 2464 points ยท Posted at 05:35:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't...
SanguisFluens ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 06:22:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think he just did.
Lobed_Ear ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:28:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
... something something go toilet into the policeman's helmet.
delawana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And then steal it again!
Patrik333 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:08:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...3!
Magmatron ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:50:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not with that attitude
nivmagus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:29:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would.
CurbStomp64 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:59:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would give you gold for this but I'm too lazy to do it on my phone...
bem13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha thanks, but don't give gold to stupid stuff like this. Give it to insightful comments instead, that took some effort to make.
neverganagiveyouup ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:17:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or give it to what makes you laugh and you feel deserves it. Every gold bought truly helps reddit.
bem13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's true and of course it's his money to do what he wants with it. But I don't feel my two-word comment deserves gold.
I just hate to see it when someone types up a long and insightful comment explaining something and it only gets a few upvotes, while a simple one (like mine) gets thousands and maybe even gold.
Then again, it's a way to support reddit and I'm all for that, just thought I'd share my opinion on the matter.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would, but i don't think my computer has that much space.
kid_blue ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:03:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Easy fix, download some more RAM.
Wonderful_Toes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:21:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And if you want to be done before next year, upgrade your microprocessor. There are tons of good sites on the internet.
timthetollman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would if I could
Old-bag-o-bones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
YES I FUCKING WOULD!!!
4THOT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Download a BEAR?
SmokePot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But would he download a handbag?
NTRX ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:13:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They did
Tulki ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 06:37:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh look it's this thing again. Yadda yadda wouldn't download a car would you?
Well guess what mister? I got somethin' for you. I'm uploading my foot into your ass as we speak.
GayKingDavid ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:30:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
bahahaha
malbrand ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 08:03:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't steal a car, you wouldn't steal a handbag...
EricPrime ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:19:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't shoot a policeman, and then steal his helmet...
niqqaz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:43:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would.
LostMyPasswordNewAcc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:48:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you guys really have to make this unfunny joke every time you see the word "download"?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:14:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should download more RAM
madeyouangry ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:20:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I downloaded my driveway, but I pushed the wrong button and now there's a freeway coming out of my house.
Archonet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:13:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did you download more RAM while you were at it, too?
electricmaster23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:12:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Car dealers hate this guy.
OstmackaA ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:57:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No joke, when I first saw that movie I thougt "ofc I wouldnt download a car" some out of guilt and some because it would be impossible to drive around in a "downloaded" car.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:57:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I downloaded a PS4 instead of buying one.
Kneel_Legstrong ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:49:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you wouldn't.
dreweatall ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...but where did you drive?
Kimbernomics ยท 166 points ยท Posted at 03:58:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You must not have Comcast. Internet speeds like it's 1992 over here.
Roger_Fcog ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:46:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Comcast is the fastest speeds around where i live. I live too far off the road so Comcast won't give me internet service. The amount that I am paying the company that will give me internet service for 8 down, would be getting me 50 down at a cheaper cost after the two year contract expires through Comcast.
GarnetMonsoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Never get Comcast!!!!!!
I can't even begin to describe the horrors my family has been through because of Comcast. Stay away from the darkness.
Death-By_Snu-Snu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:23:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say comcast is fast by any means, but my 20Mbps down would've been unthinkable in '92. Especially for me, because I wasn't alive.
Kimbernomics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is what customer service (horrible horrible horrible) tells me every time I call, but I don't think I've ever had 50 Mbps. I have fluctuations all the time, especially with streaming Netflix. But Comcast is the only ISP in my neighborhood, so until that changes, they can continue to supply inconsistent service without much consequence.
Moobl4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:08:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the same boat as you. Then we literally stopped getting internet entirely for god knows what reason, after having recently fixed issues that were going on for months. There was no way to get it working from that point, so we were forced to cancel.
Comcast is evil.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
its not inconsistent. look at that comcast policy closer. say you buy a 20 mbps package. you are not actually guaranteed that speed, or anything within an acceptable range. you are only guaranteed up to that amount, but not over that amount.
dat wordplay.
Roger_Fcog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh don't feel too bad. I pay for 8 Mb/s down, but I get that very rarely. If I am getting 6, it is a good day.
I think all internet service providers are assholes just for the fact that they can be. You are most likely using them because they are your best option, and your life without internet would be very uncomfortable.
Kimbernomics ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:07:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too right you are! /r/firstworldproblems
Master_Troll34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
8 mb down is bad? Try 2 mb
TheBros35 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:00:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
try 768kb
JBHUTT09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:26:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Try 1 bit.
taidana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Comcast has a contract... Wtf? I thought time warner was bad. Tbh though time warner is pretty good if it didnt go down all the time. It is pretty fast 60 mbs but it goes down for like 30 minutes all the time. It is not just me, it happens to everyone i know. Fucking weird
srcrackbaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:14 on December 24, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Comcast is really good in my area. Used to be shitty years ago, now its the most stable/fastest internet you can get.
Vaiels ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:17:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You must not live in Australia, I get 3megabits/sec on a good day and 0.6 up
KingofAlba ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:28:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
3?!? Are you from the future? I've never seen more than 2...
Kimbernomics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, we should allot them some luxuries to offset the horror of living in Australia. Death creeps around every corner there...usually in the form of a very large spider that just ate a bird as an appetizer. Gotta keep that moral up!
jessticless ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:54:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have Comcast and my internet is extremely fast. It depends where you live
unforgiven91 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:22:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My comcast reaches 60mbps down.
No complaints here.
satannik ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My Comcast speed is 25Mb down and 10Mb up on both wifi and ethernet. I don't know why people say it's shit..
enjoytheshow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:09:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They aren't rolling out gigabit or anything but Comcast offers pretty good internet for the most part. They are still a dick lick of a company but the services they provide really aren't that bad. There are millions of people in the world who would kill for 50 mb download speeds.
Crowforge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:23:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
and god help you if you go over your cap
fireshaper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Comcast customer here, speeds up 105mb down!
Ragecomicwhatsthat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You must not live in rural areas.
Comcast is the best we can get.
sixner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:26:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have Comcast. Speeds are fine. Probably depends on location
beaverburgular ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ever since Comcast went digital with Xfinity, shits been fast.
space253 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:04:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Comcast here is 30mb down 10mb up, now my sprint phone.... ha.
draekia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That you can say this shows how poorly you remember Internet of the '90s. Or. You were being purposely hyperbolic.
14kbps at the best of times is not something to be taken lightly.
Acceptable67 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:05:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I download at 9 MB (56Mb) per second and I have Comcast - a very very fast speed... Because of this, I never understand where people are coming from when they mention their Comcast speeds.
InfectedFetus_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The reason people say this is because comcast uses line share technology. That is to say that if you're having "40mbps" pumped into your house you're really having 40mbps pumped into your the first house in your line share "loop" and whatever they don't use is transferred to the next house and the next and so on and so forth. The result being the huge variables in speed that people experience with cable. So, depending on your location in relation to the node in your area and the amount of ports taken up you will have varying experiences.
Tl;dr comcast uses line share and everyone in a specific "loop" shares Internet.
Kimbernomics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think my issue is that, with the exception of my Xbox, everything else in my house is wifi. I'm by no means an Internet genius, but I'm guessing that wifi download speeds are going to be considerably slower than wired, yeah?
qdog1342 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:45:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wired generally is faster, but a good router can get you pretty close
LiquidSilver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:45:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Depends. I have 30/30 and I get it on wifi too, even when I'm a few rooms away. On my previous router, though, I barely got 10% of my speed.
Acceptable67 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
We have a very top of the line router now and it outputs the same speed as wired, if even slightly lowered, but our old one that we had prior had very very bad wireless to wire speed ratio.
launch_from_my_pad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
56mbps should put you closer to 7. usually it's like 1/8th because 8 bits per byte afaik. I'm no expert, but it seems to be true with my speeds, and most other people's i've used and tested
auslicker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
afaik most older routers wifi top out at 56mbps.
launch_from_my_pad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
802.11g yeah. Wireless N is up to 300mbps i believe
ILIEKDEERS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe where you live. I down loaded a movie the other night before my pasta water was boiling.
starphish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:10 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My current Comcast speed. It's always fast.
http://i.imgur.com/JjsYcvS.png
lyingliar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:20:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time. No way I'm getting off my ass to put a damn DVD in the player.
BRITANY-IS-A-CUNT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:09:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once pirated an entire copy of San Andreas because I couldn't be bothered to walk over to the next room and get the disk.
Kickless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pfft, I downloaded a game I own just because it involved less hand movement than grabbing the box next to me and putting the DVD in the tray.
Joke is that it was faster downloading and then installing off the hard drive than using DVD anyway.
Im_a_TARDIS_AMA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I too have done this.
Calamash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, you're free to pirate it since you bought it.
jaredkjar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
isn't it legal if you own the movie?
robot_mafia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Except when you torrent (which is probably what he did), you upload too which isn't legal.
ctindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you have Fios it's probably faster anyway.
kiqrgwe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once checked online to see if it was snowing instead of reaching up to open my blinds.
barshat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have Google Fiber?
missviolett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you my husband?
ironicallysad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How fast is your internet?! O.O
hyperfocusedbeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I watch movies showing on TBS or USA network with the commercials even though I have the DVD upstairs and can watch it without the commercials.
InFaDeLiTy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hah I do that all the time, and I dont even need to go up any stairs.
Watching a streaming movie is just simpler than a DVD no menu or anything straight movie.
taidana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, that is punoshable by like life in prison and a million dollar fine. You have some balls.
somedude456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I too have done that. "Hey, watching ________ sounds like a good idea!" Hmmm...is it in the entertainment system, maybe the office or maybe....fuck it, I'll just download it!
TheGoldenBuffallo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same with an E-book, instead of moving to get the actual book.
Pterocious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every time...
mistermez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My life.
FANGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time, but the DVDs are literally a foot or two away from me.
nastybacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this too. I knew i had it on an external hard drive. But the external hard drive was in the drawer next to me. And it meant getting up, pulling it out and plugging it in.
prophetoffun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have you beat. A few weeks ago I was so lazy, I torrented a copy of a film that my own father produced and directed because I was too lazy to go to the next room where we had 500 unopened copies in the drawer. It was worth it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
the title said lazy, not efficient.
TheDarkNightwing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've played movies on Netflix that I own and are kept in my entertainment center.
jacenat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i have a hard drive on my desk, which is three feet from my desk, with pretty much every movie i'd ever want to watch, yet i find myself redownloading everything from my computer when i'm on my bed.
IndifferentAnarchist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Computer next to bed. DVD case on the floor nearby. Decide to download movie rather than pick up the case and look through it. Realise that I'm lying back and the keyboard is out of reach without sitting up. Give up and watch something already downloaded.
SirTechDiff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I downloaded porn instead of having sex with my girlfriend...
Degru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was the same, except it wasn't as lazy. I was on my netbook, and I wanted to watch a movie. DVD was upstairs, and a USB DVD drive was in another room. I could've gotten the DVD and watched it with the USB disc drive, or I could've used the disc drive to make an ISO to watch later.
I ended up just downloading it from TPB. Got an HD version as well!
TheBestWifesHusband ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time kinda. Rather than going downstairs to get my USB stick, bringing it upstairs to put a movie on, then taking it back downstairs to watch it...
I just put the movie into my work dropbox (cloud folder) and grab it on the laptop downstairs.
covey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this isnt lazy this is just smart
ridik_ulass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
internet speeds today, it was probably faster.
Vectoor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I downloaded a movie instead of hooking up my external drive.
ShannonMS81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time. I'll watch shows on Netflix that I own on DVD so I don't have to change discs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I download movies regularly rather than copy them from the external drive. 100mbps fiber makes it faster.
Flangecakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did this when I wanted to play Deus Ex once. Really couldn't be bothered to go upstairs when I was nice and comfy on the sofa with my headphones on. Piratebayed that shit.
SOFLAM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would do this too if my staircase was a four day walk... Aussie internet is great.
Insanelopez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I downloaded a car so I wouldn't have to walk to where mine was parked.
FrostyPhotographer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did this because I didn't want to put pants on to go get cod:ghosts. I love 3 blocks from Walmart.
UndeadBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're not alone. I've downloaded TV shows before because I didn't feel like getting the remote.
Dakrys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once streamed a TV show that I had on my hard drive, in my lap, because I didn't want to have to find it.
Decyde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've downloaded a movie before because I didn't know what drive it was on. Then I didn't want to have to copy that movie from that drive over to my main drive to stream it on my TV. I also didn't want to sync that drive with my device so I could stream anything on it in the future when it was plugged in.
Waiting 20 minutes for it to download seemed like the only logical choice.
EasyTigrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I often will actively search Sky & Netflix in an attempt to find a film, instead of going downstairs to get the DVD. Doesn't matter if it takes me 30mins to find it - it's still easier than the 30s it would take to get up and retrieve the DVD. I'll also record films on Sky, deleting other recorded programs in the process if i'm running out of space - instead of getting the DVD. I don't know why I keep buying DVDs.
turkturkelton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We've all done that.
yojimbo124 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in the home of this millionaire Hollywood producer with a MASSIVE movie collection. His daughter asked him for a Disney movie she wanted to watch. Instead of trekking the three flights of stairs down to his theater to grab it he pulled it up on amazon clicked buy and said it will be here tomorrow.
Not_Gonna_Lie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am currently re-watching all of The Office on Netflix. I have the whole series on Bluray too, but that isnt as easy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do that all the time and I don't even have an upstairs. The DVDs are in the same room on the far wall.
novacolumbia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's not actually stealing if you download a movie you already own, right? ...right?
CaptainIndustry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One day we will print a car instead of walking to find ours.
Sax45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad bought a movie he already owned because he didn't want to look through his movie collection.
Danthezooman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time. My collection of dvd's is around ~550 and instead of popping it in the computer or ps3 I just torrent them.
DrSterling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have done this very same thing
Orval ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did that shortly after moving, but the download was to avoid having to dig through boxes to find it.
intensenerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a thread like this in the past that a guy did this. In the process of downloading the movie, he went over his monthly cap.
Look_At_That_OMGWTF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I have 10 movies I already own priated
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ive just gone to sleep with my bedroom tv on because a captcha for a streaming site popped up and my keyboard wasn't near me.
Chubbstock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
same for me, kill bill vol 1
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I like to see. DVD has already been purchased. Goddamn respect for sunk costs.
slimzimm ยท 419 points ยท Posted at 07:36:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't want to get up to get scissors to open a package I had, so I grabbed the cat and used his claws. It was soft plastic and the cat was indifferent.
MechanicalTurkish ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 16:52:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
the cat was
indifferentjust as lazy.FTFY
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:45:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious.
aaaDERR ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:28:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't wait to do this at my house. Basically everything here is considered research
Amp3r ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:28:32 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He was probably excited to demonstrate his killing potential. Yes, this plastic represents your throat. Look closely
Jessica_Iowa ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:51:01 on March 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I know you wrote this ages ago. I had to let you know it brighten my afternoon. Considering how low my day has been, you made quite an impression.
slimzimm ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:46:56 on March 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome! I think this is the first time my laziness brightened someones afternoon. This pleases me.
supersonic3974 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Meow :|
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds more like genius
banaltram ยท 2911 points ยท Posted at 01:54:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eating my food directly from the pot to eliminate dishes. I hate washing dishes.
BankingPotato ยท 517 points ยท Posted at 04:34:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this, too, when I am the only one at home. Sometimes I might even eat with the ladle and stuff. /sigh
knittingnola ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:47:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've used a napkin for a plate it's ok.
aussiegolfer ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:53:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My family calls that "Familyname Plates." But not Familyname, our actually family name. I don't want to say it, because Apacella is kind of an unusual surname, and people might find my identity.
TheDeathlyHallow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...Did you just give your surname after saying it's unusual and you don't want people to find you? You may want to edit that comment.
aussiegolfer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:56:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relax, is joke. Real name Abramovich! Thank you, friend!
MonadicAdjunction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TheDeadlyHallow understands only black humor, apparently.
Endless_Search ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:29 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or Harry Potter since -th, not -dly...you know? Also dementors.
desertfox14 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:07:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How is that bad? Seriously, I do this all the time and don't understand how it's more civilized to dirty twice as many things as need dirtying.
BankingPotato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know either, but my friends who know I do this always make this face at me. And yet, I'm the only one who is never too lazy to brush my teeth at night among us! This is unjust.
IndifferentAnarchist ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:38:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Look at these people energetic enough to cook.
givethezombiespizza ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:59:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Baked potatoes are the best, they're their own dish.
Edit: I looked up and saw your username. Completely relevant.
Methaxetamine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:54:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes being forever alone is forever lazy.
woodwalker700 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yup, wife out of town/coming home after dinner? fuck dishes.
IICVX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Serving spoons are the best spoons.
Unique_Cyclist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:39 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Atleast you take the time of making yourself something... Im still in highschool living with my parents. My dad told me to take some soup from the bowl. I was so lazy to get the soup, i took a loaf of bread instead..
BankingPotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:49 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My family is so lazy that when we cook something, we don't move the food to serving dishes anymore and instead take food directly from pot/pan to plate. There have been a few times when I've gotten so lazy that I just scooped up soup into my mug... by dipping the entire mug into the pot.
Blacky31 ยท 1668 points ยท Posted at 03:47:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a 1000 pack of disposable plates and cutlery.
gsfgf ยท 1483 points ยท Posted at 05:09:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But then you have to take the trash out. And that requires pants.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1678 points ยท Posted at 05:35:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you're my neighbor.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:20:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pants are for the weak
gereblueeyes ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:39:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I have been known to put the dog out on his chain in the front yard, while was in my undies. ( i'm a girl) Just peek outside quick , anybody there? No?
edit: dog
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:27:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
the dog, I presume. I've chased after mine in only my boxers and a T-shirt because she ran off. Completely shocked some old Asian lady on the side of the street.
gereblueeyes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:33:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I type faster then my brain . I don't think that I've been seen by my neighbors. But, I don't think I would be surprised if I have reputation for showing my self off to the locals. All cause, I'm too lazy to put on pants and a shirt, or even a bathrobe.
leftysblackfreind ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:29:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sorry
Kongo204 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:59:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hi diddly-ho! Pants are overrated.
GatlerDOS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:58:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He has balls, shrunken balls. Too damn cold outside for that nonsense
vballdude94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:33:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. White? Is that you?
bunnylebowski1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's Heisenberg to you.
vballdude94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Say my name
Torvaun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:18:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because he doesn't take the trash out, or because he considers pants optional for taking the trash out?
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pants non existent.
thegoodlifeofmusic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:24:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like I'll need to move next door to you so I can take the trash out with my pants off. Is that how this works?
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You got it!
AshAidan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think I may be your neighbor. Does he go to the shop in his undies and a shirt?
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No shirt. Just tighty whitey's.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:39:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bunnylebowski killing it lately in the comments
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. Thanks! I usually get to the threads too late and my comments get buried.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:24:12 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yep story of my life.
AdmiralTiger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:58:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Hadn't thought of that. He's probably a nihilist.
ayslinn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That struck me as laugh out loud funny my co-workers now think I am crazy
toxictodd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:43:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted cause you had 666 upvotes. TAKE THAT SATAN!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try, Satan
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for getting me out of there!
JordansEdge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not if I'm me.
sillypwilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not if your neighbor is me.
Treypyro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:36:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what roommates are for. I'll clean the inside of the house pretty often, way more than my roommates do. But I have lived here for like 6 months and I have only taken the trash out twice. I feel accomplished with life.
DeathbatMaggot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:00:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you wear pants for that?
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I will fully admit to taking the garbage to the curb without wearing pants. I'll just throw on a long coat or a bathrobe since I only have to walk to the bottom of the front steps.
clonetek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just wait for nighttime. Near the dumpster nobody can see your tighty whiteys.
UsuallyInappropriate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
False.
Empty oil drum + matches = at-home incinerator.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OH my god. This is my fucking train of thought
Archonet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Almost nothing requires pants when you have a bathrobe.
Almost.
Jed118 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At the building I used to live at (a real shithole), Indians would throw their kids' diapers from the balcony to "around" the vicinity of the trash bin. I know this because I almost got hit with one walking out of the underground garage. Whatever didn't make it into the dumpster splatted all over the parking lot and garage ramp. Fucking dirty!
My gf at the time and I did the old "light the bag of shit on fire and knock on the door" trick at least a few times, burned the hallway carpet and all.
The tossing of the diapers stopped eventually, but putting cat feces on the door knob was required.
We had two cats.
jweaver120 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My apartment does valet waste. Set full bin outside door on the way to work, retrieve empty bin coming back home.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not when you've got a wood stove.
Paramorgue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have one of those amazing garbage chutes right outside my door. I could probably throw the trash in there still havign both my feet in the apartment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You get me
Dasbaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
With that snobby attitude it does. For the true internet kings, it only requires an abilty to brave the cold while doing the helicopter penis.
J_Kenji_Lopez-Alt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Let future you worry about that. Present you is more important.
leadnpotatoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You put on pants to take out trash?
Lol, I've taken my garbage out Walter white style many times before.
Bcarey1233 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is room by the door for at least 4 trash bags... I live in an apartment with a garbage chute down the hallway.
LightningMaiden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're using the word "require" wrong
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Amateur.
haffbaked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
unless you will be outside of your place of living for more than 5 minutes, pants are NEVER required
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
pants are not a requirement...I know this from years of experience
demostravius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Great, now I am imagining an overweight man wearing nothing but a white T-shirt and socks walking outside with bin bags. Stopping to wave at the neighbours, in the process raising the T-shirt just a little too high...
mr_whopperpantz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what you think....
Wildkid133 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pants are for squares
varisforge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:30 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just feel good that I got to give you the 1,000th upvote.
bluewolf37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:41 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a fireplace so when i use paper plates it doesn't add to the trash. Lazy and cheaper to depose of.
Just_like_my_wife ยท 1225 points ยท Posted at 03:56:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Set for the week.
ehenning1537 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 06:19:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At 3 meals a day you'd be set for about a year
DetectivePenguin ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:46:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pfft 3 meals fuckin casual
Shniggles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
3 meals?
Filthy casual.
Alexbo8138 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:41 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. Assuming its 1000 pieces total not each then that's only 111 days, 16 weeks.
Underwater_Bread ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:40 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
thatsthejoke.jpg
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:48:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
just like your wife
boringOrgy ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:54:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You stay the hell away from my wife.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:57:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She repels me.
A_sexy_black_man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:11:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She propels to me.
Ham_Authority95 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:22:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just_like_my_wife ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 06:28:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ham_Authority95 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:50:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
1000/365=2.74 plates and cutlery per day for a year.
I'm just going to assume that disposable plates and cutlery are the staple food of your people.
Just_like_my_wife ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:50:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You must not have kids. Lucky bastard.
Ham_Authority95 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:51:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do children eat disposable plates and cutlery? At least their poop wouldn't stink...
Just_like_my_wife ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:52:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You definitely don't have kids.
Ham_Authority95 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think that you and I have different ideas about how seriously we're taking this conversation.
Just_like_my_wife ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:01:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So, which one am I?
RattAndMouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
danielhunter999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just like your wife...
Kimbernomics ยท 605 points ยท Posted at 04:00:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom calls that the good china.
stonedotjimmy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:53:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
the good chinet!
CrypticBosnian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:01:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably made in China
LiquidSilver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:52:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You use china as disposable plates? You must be rich.
Kwik_Wit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what everyone calls it.
ctindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well some of those disposable dishes are dishwasher safe.
darkcyril ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:01:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Glinda Gotrocks over here people!
macogle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:37:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you're wealthy enough, any dishwasher safe dishes are disposable.
All depends on your price point between convenience and durability, really.
hayz00s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is your mom Wilmer Valderrama?
nickalltogether ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom and everyone else that thinks they're clever.
FLOOTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then whats the bad china?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:42:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i.e. Made in Taiwan
banaltram ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 03:57:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I seriously consider that every time I'm at the grocery store...but I still have to wash the pot. Unless I switch to only eating things that can be made in a skillet, then I could just rinse it out with hot water, dry it, and be done.
Sexual_Congressman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:30:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Even better, switch to all microwaveable premade containers like me! I even buy plastic cups for drinking my Hawaiin punch because fuck dishes with a 980 foot dildo. Yay for processed food and 20 grams of sodium a day!
TheDoktorIsIn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all day erry day, with disposable knives/spoons.
Also, Brian Regan has some insight.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
irgs ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:26:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As opposed to what?
love-from-london ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or get shitty pots & pans you don't care about and put them in the dishwasher.
gereblueeyes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:41:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thrift stores are great for this.
n0Skillz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:06:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cast iron. fuck washing, the grease and shit adds flavor. Just don't cook eggs.
gereblueeyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
paper towels and standing over the sink.
banaltram ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:41:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paper towels are poor soup receptacles...but for basically everything else, yes.
gereblueeyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HMMMM... some thing I need to invent.
banaltram ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:45:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you do this, let me know. I will most definitely be a loyal customer, haha
jimmypickins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or buy only microwavable diners and plastic forks then you don't even need a skillet and you save on buying the paper plates. Drink juice/milk out of the jug, connect a short hose to the sink and drink out of that directly. I haven't done dishes in over a year now.
banaltram ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You don't mess around, do you? That is some serious dedication, sir. I am impressed.
NightGod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get a crock pot, make one meal a week and leave it on warm so you don't have to reheat it. You'll need to add some water every so often to keep it from drying out. You'll have to wash one thing a week (the crock pot, which is wide open and washes out insanely easy after you let it soak for about 15 minutes). You can even get crock pot liners to eliminate that step.
CovingtonLane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hot water? Shoot. Unless it's greasy, just rinse and set on towel to air dry.
404fucksnotavailable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That plan is as good as any I've heard yet.
Detinubuf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Compost able pots and pans?
damnatio_memoriae ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 08:12:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you.
-- Mother Earth
I_Will_Procrastinate ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 07:44:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be a dick but wow is that wasteful.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:52:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tree-killer!
caudice ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:53:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paper towels? you mean roll of plates
kentaror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my childhood :D
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:12:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Blacky31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd buy you gold, if I wasn't so lazy
lb9715 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:55:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Please dont do that, that is a complete waste of the earths resources and your plastic ends in the pacific.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-M9t2fm__K0
Itrhymeswithsneak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:36:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But the noise, it's so cringy.
TheCatWar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:09:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Steam bags of rice make no dishes...I've been known to squeeze-tube that stuff.
whatkindofasshole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I love Costco.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:48:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The environment thanks you.
CaptainIndustry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:26:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
1,000? I go balls to the wall. Called up Dixie and have them ship me entire boxes full of disposable. Next movie is to get one of those informercial pans that nothing ever sticks to.
TGrady902 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put paper plates on top of real plates so I still have support but don't make the plate dirty.
Corvus133 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:17:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, fuck the environment!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And still reuse them.
Derwos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bonus: use the old plates as fuel. That way you can waste paper and pollute!
devilwarriors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My environmental side always prevented me this level of laziness.. but last month I found compostable disposables plates at the grocery store.. lets just say my life has change.
note: I actually compost shits believe it or not (could also be taken literally since I also compost my dog shit).
NoddysShardblade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wastes less water (and electricity for heating it).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is so wasteful
Rub3X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I go to Sam's Club and buy the biggest bag of paper plates and cups. Only thing I wash is the forks which don't take up space and can build up in the dish washer for a looong time without needing to be washed.
Eldest584 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do that too. I just buy paper plates, foam bowls, and plastic utensils because I'm too lazy to do dishes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The environment, man
Walletau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:05 on January 31, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
There's certain cultures where this is clearly accepted. America and Japan come to mind...how far am I off on the stereotype?
Merhouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:29 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
800 paper plates from the supermarket, 500 plastic forks and 500 plastic knives from Costco. I do manage to wash spoons because I use them often for soup, and plastic doesn't work so well with that kind of hot stuff.
WEARESAVIORS ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I'm going to start doing this. I hate doing dishes. Thanks!
Redditor_on_LSD ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:53:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom came down with the flu. She's usually the one to put the glassware in the dishwasher. Since she was sick, I started doing the dishes but after washing only a few, I dropped a glass on the kitchen floor. Dad tells me to go out and buy a bag of paper cups. 7 Years later, we only drink from paper cups.
captainsinfonia ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:47:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am a married man with a wife and a child on the way. I do this constantly just because my wife and I are too lazy to do dishes until we run out of coffee mugs. Then we buy more mugs.
withfries ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 09:36:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this. Doing so was the best decision I made, and it led to other life adjustments. I can't believe how much time I used to devote to the upkeep of daily life. I want to say I use the time productively, but I probably don't. However, I am so much more relaxed. I do use dishes for guests, to keep up appearances as a normal person.
Exhibizionism ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 10:41:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Learn this one trick the climate enthusiasts don't want you to know.
Slamma009 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 02:54:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is the only way I eat anything...
banaltram ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 02:57:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I generally base my meal plans on how many dishes it's going to dirty. More than 4, and I will probably abandon ship and make something else.
tearr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:46:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use one or two. Haven't been up to four in two years. It's three only when I use a box to store leftovers.
Rule goes out the window with people over, then I use plates and pretend to be a regular human beeing.
banaltram ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, when company comes over I do try to pretend I'm a normal human being who uses plates and bowls and stuff.
irgs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't eat anything that takes longer to "pre"-pare than it does to eat. Defining preparation as anything other than the actual eating, washing dishes comes under preparation.
Edit: Also, I'm struggling to think of anything that doesn't take either zero or one plates per person. What are you talking about, more than four?
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My pot doesn't have a lid anymore because I broke it, so all pastas have to be drained in a colander. That brings the total to 3 dishes, the 4th is a spare incase my spoon/fork slips into the pot and I have to fish it out with another spoon/fork.
irgs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea what you're even talking about now. I have no idea what you're eating. Things you have to cook.
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you were confused as to how I arrived at 4 dishes being a consideration factor in what I decide to cook, so I was explaining where/how I picked that number.
Now I'm confused. Could you re-word the question?
tenderbranson301 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a bachelor frog in here I think.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It used to be.... then I got married. Now I get yelled at for using a spoon and scratching the bottom of the pot. She actually expects me to pour the mac and cheese from the pot into a DIFFERENT bowl. Who has the time and energy for that?
irgs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I mainly eat frozen pizzas, and the reason is that the box that it comes in is pretty much a disposable plate for it. And it isn't wasteful like the disposable plates thing because you were going to throw it out anyway.
dechlat ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:38:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of relevant, but I hate folding clothes. If only there was some way to avoid making my clothes unwrinkled
superjennifer ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 04:55:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
put them back in the dryer before you wear them. that's how i "iron"
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:22:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Even better, hang them in the bathroom while you shower. Steams the wrinkles out! Even less work than using the dryer, since I'm assuming you're showering anyway.
superjennifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yup, i do that too. and if it's not completely out then i toss it in the dryer while i'm getting ready, but i definitely hang it up & give it the steam treatment first!
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And besides, if you steam it, you can tell people that you don't iron because it's better for the planet!
Oh, on a related note...for really stubborn wrinkles, do you ever splash water on it and them put it in the dryer?
superjennifer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:32:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
for REALLY stubborn wrinkles I usually just take the flat iron i'm using on my hair & "iron" it with that.
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:40:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't actually straighten my hair but own a flat iron for exactly that reason. I'm glad we could bond over our laziness in the face of wrinkles :).
superjennifer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:47:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
in some instances it works better AND pulls double duty -- BOOYAH!
bunnylebowski1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I throw a damp towel or rag in with them and they come out great!
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or hang them in the bathroom when you shower. The steam takes out the wrinkles...that's how I "iron".
superjennifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i do that too and if it doesn't work i toss it in the dryer when i'm getting ready
wwahwah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hang the clothes in the bathroom when you have a hot shower.
MinkelR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just put everything of mine on hangers. Works well enough.
TellerUlam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downy Wrinkle Releaser spray. Prepare to have your life changed forever.
Lobsert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You take the time to put clothes on?
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I also hate folding clothes...but I'm lucky, my fiancee won't let me touch the laundry.
I never pair and fold my socks, I just stuff them in my sock drawer, then when I need socks I open the drawer and pull two out. As long as they are both the same style and thickness I couldn't care less if they match and it drives him nuts.
neilson241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you want to avoid making your clothes unwrinkled?
oceanrudeness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a crapton of hangers on Amazon for this reason. Hanging clothes is less annoying than folding, especially since I am too lazy to buy a dresser.
fuckallkindsofducks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:06:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I learned how to toss food in a frying pan because using a spatula increases the number of dishes to be washed.
banaltram ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use a cast iron skillet...I feel trying to flip anything would end in an ER visit for me, and a hefty repair bill to fix the kitchen floor.
the_cucumber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:42:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure you understand how to do it.
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean?
buttchugging ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:42:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is efficiency, not laziness. It's also environmentally friend in that it saves water and soap.
I'm being 100% serious, btw.
banaltram ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:45:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I tell my fiancee when he comes home to find me eating mac'n'cheese out of the pot with a mixing spoon. I am also 100% serious when I say it, haha.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not lazy that's smart!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:26:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, it's efficient.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:34:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, my roommate and I would throw our dishes away because We were too lazy to wash them. We also hated washing dishes.
Fortheseoccasions ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
oh god I thought I was the only one lazy enough to be this wasteful
bunnylebowski1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:31:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it terrible?? We always complained about washing them and one time, they had been sitting for days. We were trying time decide who was going to wash them. I took a bowl and threw it across the room into the garbage. We were laughing so hard and made it into a game.
MeAndMyMoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel slightly sad inside when I run out of paper plates. My boyfriend gets me to do the dishes by taking me out to eat.
xeoph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college I used to eat my meals on aluminum foil to avoid dishes
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't waste the foil...I use that for my hookah, haha.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ate my macaroni straight from the pot tonight.
cooltim50 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:06:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually learned how to flip food in a pan without a spatula cause I didn't wanna have to wash the spatula.
BastardoftheEdfort ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:40 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not lazy just being economical, why waste extra washing-up liquid when the pan does the same job as a plate?
Machegav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't lazy, it's just good housekeeping. I have friends who will cook food in a pot, ladle it into a serving dish, bring it to the table, then serve it onto plates with a separate utensil. They just love doing dishes I guess.
Whereas I will occasionally just wait for the soup pot to cool a bit, then drink directly from it.
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:15 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My ex was one of ~those~ people who would never reuse a dish. If he had a glass of water, and after that wanted orange juice, he would use a different glass...apparently the drop of water in the glass would contaminate the juice. Or he would make a pot of soup and use a regular soup spoon to stir it, then put it in a bowl which he would put on a plate to "catch the drips", then he'd use a different (yet identical) spoon to eat it.
I got so fed up one day that I left 1 plate, 1 bowl, 1 mug, 1 glass, 1 fork, 1 knife, and 1 spoon on the counter and took the rest of the dishes to my friend who lived a few doors down. I told him I'd bring the dishes back when he learned to reuse/wash them.
Machegav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:34 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It frustrates me sometimes that my fiancee doesn't rinse dishes off when she's done using them. It makes it so much easier to clean properly later.
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:09 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Soaking dishes is my attack plan when confronted with a situation where dishwashing is inevitable. The longer they soak the more likely I am able to get them almost completely clean with a quick rinse and my dish wand.
goofandaspoof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, tastes better this way too.
Zrk2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bro, I made spagetti over the summer because I could make like 5 servings at once, and only create one dish. Somehow this was a source of much humour at work.
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done that. I'm also a fan of large pasta bakes or casseroles because I can eat for a week and only dirty a fork and one plate.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! finally someone gets me!!!!!!!!
luckiest_wasp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I made mac n cheese in a vase because all the bowls were dirty :(
Wafflecone416 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ummm this is efficiency, not laziness.
n3tm0nk3y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you use cast iron you don't really have to wash it. You just scrape the bits off and wipe it down.
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I tend to use...I'll run some hot water over it when necessary then dry it off, but soap has never once touched it.
GarageGirl655 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, just efficient. Think of all the water and detergent you're saving by not doing dishes.
famousmess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i'll just use dishes and glasses laying around that people don't clean up (i have roommates) and then they clean them up afterwords.
BlankVerse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the "over-the-sink" salads I used to make in college:
Rip a head of iceberg lettuce in half. Pour on a thick salad dressing like blue cheese. Sprinkle on some spices and minced onions. Eat over the sink.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I drink straight out of the 2-liter bottle of pop for the same reason.
PoopAndSunshine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can top that. I once threw away an entire sink full of dirty dishes because I was too "overwhelmed" to deal with washing them.
banaltram ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:57:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've never done that...though I would be lying if I said I'd never seriously considered it.
PoopAndSunshine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do it. Nobody will ever know.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I read that, I thought 'the pot' meant the toilet. I guess that would be lazy/efficient too
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Also impressive. If I can manage to boil the toilet water I've either got mad skills or some serious plumbing/water issues.
Sirisian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I moved into my first apartment and it took me like 3 weeks to start doing that. Saves so much time.
RegardsFromDolan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of life's big pleasures, also one of the perks of being a bachelor I guess.
daeatenone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had one clean plate left once so instead of doing dishes I wrapped that fucker in foil for every meal and used the same plate for a week straight.
ansate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who makes their own food that has not done this, raise your hand. Everyone with their hands raised, put your hand down, you fucking liar!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that. Eat it out of the packaging. Heated food is for the spoiled children.
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Macaroni straight from the box might be a little painful to eat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You'll never be able to do it with that attitude.
banaltram ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:36:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say it was impossible...just really painful and generally unpleasant...says the girl who eats the un-popped popcorn at the bottom of the bag...
themadscientist420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is routine for me
fincbdrummer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, that's eco-friendly.
SwitBiskit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My housemate did this with my expensive pots, except he was also too lazy to wash the pot afterwards so he threw it in the bin
banaltram ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:33:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd have pulled the pot out of the bin and beaten him with it.
Other peoples dishes are fully respected and considered sacred.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me either...I mean it would be one thing if I had people over for supper and put a pot and 5 spoons on the table and said "here you go, enjoy the soup"...but if it's just me, why dirty 5+ dishes when a pot doubles as a bowl and you can eat with the mixing spoon you used to stir it to begin with.
anscmc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
college
Wyndelin77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Plus, you have an already warm pan to keep it warm, amirite?
ChampThunderDick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
According to my stepdad this is a key component of being a bachelor.
CarrotOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this with an ex on our first date, homerun baby!
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My best worst first date was a 4-wheeling adventure involving 2 large mud holes, getting covered head to toe in muck, getting completely lost, and going through a corn maze before bothering to try and figure out where we were, and eventually calling his dad to come get us and the 4-wheeler because we had no idea how to get back.
We were together for 5 years...so I'd say it was a successful first date.
CarrotOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats the spirit :D I love these kind of stories!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
thats just being efficient. plus your food stays warm inside pan/pot.
ggWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
whoa whoa, hold on there a minute. That's not lazy, that's pragmatic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do my best to cook in one pot too, cause fuck washing up pots.
fits_in_anus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I perfected a number of one pot meals so I can go like 5 days eating different things and only having 1 dirty pot and 1 dirty fork.
travio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My old roommate would do this and it pissed me off so much. Mainly because we had the one pot and got home at the same time. If he made his ramen first I had to wait until he finished before I could cook my ramen. I miss undergrad.
wallarookiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this was just being efficient when I do it.
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've tried very hard to explain that to my fiancee...I've also played the "eco-friendly" angle - no water is wasted, dish soap is saved, electricity is saved (no dishwasher being used)...he doesn't go for that though.
He's all about "proper" and social norms, food goes on plates, cereal is not an acceptable supper and macaroni and cheese is not a breakfast food, sit on chairs not the floor...sigh
Miss_nuts_a_bit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I usually use a piece of bread as plate and eat it afterwards.
banaltram ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:00:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have done this on many occasions, too. Bread makes a good plate - it holds the food, you don't have to wash it, and it a very important part of a balanced diet.
It's not lazy, it's an eco-friendly, health driven solution to the dish washing problem.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My fiancee comes home to find me doing this a few times a month, and every time he tells me all about how civilised people have these new-fangled contraptions called plates...if my supper wasn't in the pot I was eating out of, I'd probably hit him with it.
He's the same about me drinking beer from the can. He insists on using a glass, and when I grab a beer from the fridge and go sit down, he will go to the kitchen and come back with a glass, and if I'm not holding onto the beer when he gets back, he'll pour it in the glass for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently wine out of the bottle is a no-no. Go figure.
imsometueventhisUN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...this isn't a common thing?
Damn, people are stupid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
House mates complain that i never do dishes. I never make food that requires dishes so i dont have to do them. Fuck cleaning shit that aint mine. If i have to use a plate i wash it myself afterwards.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Welp, at least you'd use a pot. Cooking to me is just baking things (fish, potatoes etc) in foil so that I can throw everything after eating.
Jed118 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather used to do this, and once as a child at 8, (I had to make my own meals, parents worked late, so if I wanted dinner, had to make it myself) I did just that with a pot of rice and a tray of nuggets or some shit - Put the tray and the pot on the table, grabbed a spoon, and ate with it. Did this for weeks to avoid doing the dishes (I'd leave some rice in the pot and put it in the fridge, and just have to wash the tray) until my mom came home from work early and saw me eating like this.
She said to use plates like a civilized person - I retorted with "Grandpa does it" to which she said, "He also smokes two packs a day and starts the morning off with vodka. Why don't you do that, too?"
:S
I would have if I was 18!
TheBestWifesHusband ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is living on your own 101.
Why would I put my food into 2 containers when it's already in a disposable container?!
This is a no brainer.
745631258978963214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I imagined you eating straight from the pot - as in eating fruits straight off your houseplants like a majestic moose.
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well...I'm Canadian so moose could work...but I'm pretty tiny...so I'd be a funny looking moose.
daeatenone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once had only 1 clean dish left. Instead of doing dishes I wrapped that fucker in foil for every meal and used the same dish for a week straight. Proudest moment in college.
ridik_ulass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do too, but I find when microwaving shit and cooking shit in a pot, when you have to wait anyway. is premium dish wash time.
banaltram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can honestly say that given all the time in the world...I'd never use it to wash the dishes unless given damn good incentive, like $1,000,000 might get me to voluntarily wash a dish.
All other chores are fine...I happily mop the floors and clean the bathrooms multiple times a week. Dishes? Nope.
kalimirrfoxchaser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually stopped using silverware altogether because I hated washing it. just use hands for everything, drink that soup.
neilson241 ยท 842 points ยท Posted at 07:06:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
An update is available?
Ask me in 4 hours.
Ask me in 4 hours.
Ask me in 4 hours.
God dammit.
Ask me in 1 day.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:11:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have an SSD. It literally takes me 7 seconds to reboot my computer and I do this constantly.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 13:07:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TAKES TOO LONG OKAY.
Dernom ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:37:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have one myself... still only reboots when i have to.
Too lazy to type the password all the time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
netplwiz
Matti-Koopa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:23:05 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But all the open programs!
KingKingly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But it closes out my reddit tabs. I have to find it all again :(
rB0rlax ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:13:41 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You need a better browser.
Erythroy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:26:50 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
"Restore previous session"
KingKingly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:05:32 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, son
You dug deep.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:44:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of that joke:
A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk says no.
The duck comes back the next day and asks, "Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk says no again.
The duck comes back the following day and asks, "Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk, now frustrated, says, "No, we do not have any grapes. We didn't have grapes yesterday, or the day before, and we don't have them today. If you ask me that again, I'm going to staple your foot to the floor."
The duck comes back the next day and asks, "Do you have any staples?"
"No..."
"Okay, do you have any grapes?"
LordBling ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:20:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My computer is doing that right now. I gave it 'ask me in 4 hours', thinking I'll be done with Reddit by then. But you're never really 'done' with Reddit.
Shawnessy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:59:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Currently dealing with this. I fell asleep though. Woke up, and it'd restarted. Too lazy to log in, so Reddit on my phone it is.
BeeHammer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:35:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just turn off the auto update.
juel1979 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sums up my life.
michaelzelen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this comment gave me the weirdest deja vu, I think this thread has happened before
underdog027 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It would be lazier to just ignore it.
Godolin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You know it's bad when you click that "4 more hours" more than twice in one sitting.
robthetroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd never get antivirus updates if it didn't do it automatically after 3 days of asking
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
how about just not asking. if i wanted to update, i'd restart.
das7002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You can get that to stop with gpedit if you have a pro version of Windows or a registry hack if you don't. Its glorious never being nagged again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:22 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or just disable automatic windows update. Never update, true laziness.
Btw, i turned my firewall off for some game a month ago, still havent re-enabled it.
giant_bug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is actually more effort than just taking the fucking update.
danaran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:34 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And then you forget about it, and it restarts during a ranked League game -________________- every time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:48 on December 7, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I switched to Linux. Never pesters me about updates. Still lets me do things while updating. Doesn't require me to reboot after updates.
lakai42 ยท 3529 points ยท Posted at 03:17:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to skip to the good part of a 33 second Youtube video.
[deleted] ยท 2662 points ยท Posted at 03:39:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to skip to the good part of a vine.
[deleted] ยท 1398 points ยท Posted at 04:39:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
trogdoor17 ยท 700 points ยท Posted at 06:21:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to skip.
heycindy ยท 2055 points ยท Posted at 06:39:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I skipped trying.
hekoshi ยท 883 points ยท Posted at 06:57:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I
MR_TACO_11 ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 07:08:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
xVeterankillx ยท 142 points ยท Posted at 07:17:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
IPlei ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 07:28:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tryhards. The whole bunch of y'all are.
MooseBlood ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:54:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No the true tryhards here are the ones who never commented.
Hawkonthehill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so disappointed in myself for clicking "load more comments" allll the way down here.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Except the "I skipped trying" guy. That was gold.
tlozada ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 07:37:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ ค ใ คใ ค ใ ค ใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ คใ ค
Snowdude911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
>
PoisonousPlatypus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
,
Tundraaa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think we've gone full circle.
Tayk5 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:43:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't be bothered to go full circle.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:13:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter
desuanon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[Black hole]
babytank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
(switches off computer)
dreweatall ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:44:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Abibliophobia_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Does not compute. Error. Error.
Skathington ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:52:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, everyone who didn't comment one-upped you pretty hard.
damnatio_memoriae ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:10:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Candlejack.
MadeOfSteel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:51:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
eifersucht12a ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:54:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hurt myself today
hekoshi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
to see if I still feel
Tycoonkoz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:49:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I believe!
moshe1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:02:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ฮ
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:07:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
BillDAWG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I Didn't even reply to your comment
OMFGGTFO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:45 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i
OMFGGTFO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:59 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
Northern-Canadian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
chill-like-that ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
frapo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't tell if he tried or if he skipped...
M8DoYouEvenLift ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i
Layman96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pachydermus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
IAmHere_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
Archonet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
the_unfit_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ฤฑ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
YouPickMyName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
think, therefore I am.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know you were Scottish.
irrational_abbztract ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
ShadyKage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Guys! This motherfucker skipped the sentence. That was very crafty and I think he deserves some kind of minor meaningless reward. I wish I could think of something.
TrueStoryProductions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
photography626 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Skipped
Gdigger13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Frostbite94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I - Meshuggah is the opposite of lazy.
HoBoBrian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
magikarpinmypants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
tried to skip typing?
Dakrys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[Deleted]
Ninjorico ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
drunkenviking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Joaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's the people who don't respond who win this one
Scheidecker1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
natiman1000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The limit of "I" approaching from left side
ry45guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
effyesss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
Missing_nosleep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
AsHighAsTonyTheTiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i
Zak37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
214-2315126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sk
BA_Start ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Skip, I...
you-decide-man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And that, children, is how conversations dissolve.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
Wildkid133 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
trenderman3000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
skied the letter after o
TheHappyClown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:35 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:01 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:04 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
Jennazn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:16 on December 22, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:01:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
RonaldReagansAsshole ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:14:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
Batatata ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:46:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
had
zeppin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:51:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
_
daredevilk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:14:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:22:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:37:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
Umlau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
:(
ztikmaenn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:35 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I skipped leg day.
YuckerMucker987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:51 on December 18, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
clap clap clap
GreasyPizzaBarf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:21:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tripped skying
FredericFish ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:20:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
beaverburgular ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:33:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nicely done, guy.
A_sexy_black_man ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I.
Chentington ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Of the comment
Wonderful_Toes ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Extremely relevant comment.
cronos844 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just give me karma and gold Please.
Kalesche ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried.
OneHandedPaperHanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How can she skip?!?
Cyberogue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
... to skip
RossLH ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:15:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's like opening up a Where's Waldo? book and googling the answers.
sawmyoldgirlfriend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
C'mon get to the good part Picasso.
wilburwalnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to skip to the good part of a stamp.
Poltop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to sk
macthecomedian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to skip to the good part of life.
Anonnona1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to skip to a good part of a reddit post.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Must've been a high res vagina.
ihavesharpteeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to skip to the good part of a snapchat.
I_WANT_MALARIA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:12:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to skip my eyeballs
cincyfan04 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:07:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The part with her ex boyfriend in it?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:09:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I checked the clock on my phone during my last moments with my dying grandfather.
red_sky33 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:05:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I... part of this sentence.
unafraidrabbit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:56:23 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
The boobs?
allpunsintended ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:22:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't that just be the X in the corner of your browser?
lem0nparty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to skip the good part of a gif
QuesoDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq6UkF7edMo
Thought of this immediately
immerc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why is it "a vine" but also "a YouTube video"? Why not "a vine video" or "a YouTube"?
I'm going to get onto the Internets and ask my friends on my TheFaceBook.
whatthepatty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:32 on January 5, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:40 on January 5, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I made that comment 40 days ago
guywithaphone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The what now?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:18:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Long foliage.
Vo1ume ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:05:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is no
DerpDude3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:05:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good part? On a vine? What are you, 8?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I see you've missed the joke
Hank_Scorpion ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:04:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the end?
[deleted] ยท 666 points ยท Posted at 03:39:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
but you tried you don't belong here
Disgruntled__Goat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:15:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nowadays it's even more work to try and skip a YT video than just let it play.
CoryGM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:36:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
too lazy to even punctuate nice
Atario ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to throw him out, though.
noiamsparticus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:49:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUYS A PHONY!!!
thesehands ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:00:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
&wadsworth=1 just add this to the end of the YouTube URL, it skips straight to the good bit. Named after /u/wadsworth who suggested on here a while ago
iamplasma ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:40:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It should be clarified, this skips 30% of the way in. Wadsworth was the guy who pointed out that virtually all youtube videos can be skipped in this way, because every goddam youtube video creator fills the first 30% with useless filler and intros (and that seems to be the case no matter how long the video is).
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:37:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is impatient, not lazy.
MxM111 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:44:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it is quite the opposite, really.
YalamMagic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:05:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not being lazy. That's having the attention span of a hamster.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:04:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually called Wadsworth's constant.
alterelien ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:18:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nearly all videos can be skipped about 30-40%
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/the-wadsworth-constant
Z0bie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:27:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Add &wadsworth=1 in the end of the URL.
Faps_McTickle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:59:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
YouTube Options add-on for Chrome. Click "Observe Wadsworth's Constant" button to always skip 30% into the video. They say that the first 30% of any video is irrelevant to the video. Intros, lead-ins and other nonsense.
PrinceOfTheRodeo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Phfft. I do this all the time. Half a minute? Ain't nobody got time for that shit!
StanlyManly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:35:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once closed a GIF because it didn't load quick enough.
More than once actually.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time too...It however usually defeats the purpose, as you often find yourself wasting upwards of 3 minutes to get it just right...
kgram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is for you.
raddits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Let us know how it turns out once it stops buffering.
sambianchetto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I also skip to the good parts of "YouTube videos".
Methaxetamine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Less lazy than watching it loop.
Dracodeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Boobs?
Adam9172 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the good old 10% rule.
Wiggles114 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's just ADHD.
TriedLight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Impatient is the opposite of lazy!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, that's impatient!
JAnon19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And people wonder why there are gifs of everything.
atlien0255 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would say that's more impatient than lazy haha, but I'm not one to judge...I'd probably do the same thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then YouTube took 11 minutes to buffer because you skipped.
sidepart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use the Wadsworth Constant and skip 30% of the video. Works for reddit comments as well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i think thats the opposite of lazy
FactualNeutronStar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Observewadsworthconstant=true
You're welcome.
rob7030 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The Youtube Options Chrome Extension has an option to enforce the Wadsworth Constant. Any youtube video you watch auto-skips to 30% in.
iSalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is called impatience, not laziness
no_sleep_for_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was the cat one set to the song 'Sail' wasn't it?
MannR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
add this to the end of any youtube video "&wadsworth=1." i can't find the thread but it will skip the first 30% or so of each video as most interesting things in the video happen after that
Rand0mPixels ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:04:36 on December 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once skipped ahead 3 seconds in a video because the particular part was boring...
abqguy ยท 1346 points ยท Posted at 07:09:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ran out of clean bowls for cereal. So I lined the bowls with foil, over the old food and made a bowl of cereal. After that I threw away the foil and did it again the next day.
exultant_blurt ยท 1326 points ยท Posted at 07:45:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was out of the country for a few weeks, and the morning I came back, I saw my boyfriend eating cereal out of a measuring cup with a plastic spoon. I can never leave again.
Troublechuter ยท 211 points ยท Posted at 10:28:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Reminds me of Black Books; "I am currently eating scrambled eggs with a comb. From a shoe." edit Rock_Me-Amadeus is right, I put baked beans originally.
Rock_Me-Amadeus ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:58:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure it was scrambled egg but that was the first thing I thought of too
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:24:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Black Books was great because Dylan Moran is actually an insane genius.
Phritz777 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:32:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Such a fantastic show :)
Flutterbrave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:24:51 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dirty
Butter_Fart ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:13:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time. You wouldn't believe all the stuff I've eaten cereal out of.
lennort ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:36:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bowls -> mixing bowls -> measuring cup -> mug -> pint glass
Cyberogue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
-> your girlfriend -> a shoe -> a hobo
incognito5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:12:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Go on... we can have a competition!
choadspanker ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:50:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A strippers gaping anus
LuckyDane ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:32:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Woo! Look a chocolate chunk!
choadspanker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
hey I don't remember adding those...
suddenlyreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And some Crunch Berries!
incognito5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
so lets see... can I beat that... not quite. We have a winner!
lou22 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:43:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your mama! Now you go!
incognito5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You sir, lack imagination. But anyway: I have eaten milk from my mama when I was to young to eat cereal, so I guess thats a tie?
efhs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:22:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Next to my bed currently i have 2 measuring jugs, one gigantic bowl, the top of some scales and a cake tin, all of which have been used for cereal then not cleaned. Moral of the story, your husband isn't too bad.
deesmutts88 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:09:09 on May 14, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Clean your room, you pig.
efhs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:58 on May 14, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
i have done in the last 5 months...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:52:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Still confused as to why people bother with dishes.
Watchoutrobotattack ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:56:47 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's hard to hold soup in your hands
SK102 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:00:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rofl. This is without a doubt one of the best things i've ever read... Best thing is I've done similar things.
isignedupforthis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:14:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My GF went away for 3 weeks and when she came back she said the flat was just as messy as when she left. I felt so proud.
Thorgil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:12:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do that quite often.. Much bigger than average sized bowls.
Bongson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:03:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always use cups.. I once used a 1-quart measure to eat chili out of.
Radioactivetire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:03:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
consider yourself lucky, my girlfriend came home to soup from a Coffee Shop paper cup (used) and a wooden fork thing that they use for samples (also used). (eat the real food and drink the broth)
blumpkin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:47 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like drinking out of a measuring cup. It lets me know exactly how much I have had to drink.
cheshirerat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been there, except we were out of plastic spoons so I had to use the melon baller.
SnakeJG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:04 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
My wife (girlfriend at the time) was between jobs but had money saved up, so took a 10 day trip to Panama and Costa Rica while I stayed home working. She was shocked to find the same dirty pan in the sink upon her return.
Slade645 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:42:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only one that has grossed me out
faceoftheinternet ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:03:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is too far
teaislovely ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:49:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This made me want to die.
I_Fuck_Whales ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:42:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel it would be easier to quickly wash the bowl...
IWNABURcrystalballer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:05:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just gagged a little.
Tripleshadow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:15:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm I don't remember having froot loops, I've been eating cheerios since I moved in.
Womens_Lefts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:50:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The best laziness actually requires effort.
nahfoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:46:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuuucckkk you
MTNMTNMTN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:52:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude...
Charliedelicious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've used cutting boards as plates
HotRodLincoln ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you'd started with that, the bowls would be clean right now.
supermanticore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
they do this at a lot of cheapo (read: 3rd world hygiene) restaurants in Asia, except they use plastic bags. The chopsticks... are not covered in plastic bags, nor are they disposable. You can rub them clean with a napkin though.
debherter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant! I will use this idea.
TwistedFabulousness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're a fucking genius.
NickDownUnder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.... why did I read that as bowels?
TightAssHole234 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:17:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because secretly you are a closeted gay homosexual, who feels an affinity to the male rectal orifice.
NickDownUnder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lol not closeted :)
tekgnosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Buy some paper or plastic ones and just throw them out.
demostravius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This was how we avoided cleaning the grill for 6 months.
Just tinfoil the crap out of it!
Another time I spilled fish/cheese sauce in the microwave so just put a plate over it. By the end of the year, no-one had cleaned it up so the plate had been fused to the microwave dishthingy with the sauce. You could pick up the entire glass tray by holding the small plate stuck to it with fish/cheese sauce.
fistfulofnoodles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Revolting
Romantic_Taco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you start to use pots and pans or Tupperware for bowls. I'm 27. I should probably be past this stage.
0311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just put the new food on top of the old food. Covering stuff in foil sounds like a lot of work.
RiffTannen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use every piece of Tupperware left until that's all dirty too. Then I just stop eating.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that's more work than just cleaning the bowls.
thebeefytaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:50 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like milk coming out of metal would taste weird. I'd also cringe at the sounds the silverware scraping the foil would make.
Sexual_tomato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:07 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just use a cup.
Pfeil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:02 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
This is genius
Batticon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:26 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
ewwww
meow_arya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:55 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
This is inspiring.
Jonny_Osbock ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:21:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not lazy, that is genius!
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1567 points ยท Posted at 04:36:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
In college, we hooked up those hamster water bottles to our headboards with a wire so that we could drink from them when hungover. It enabled us to just open our mouth instead of having to move any other part of our body.
We didn't get much water out of it.
Edit: link
SRSisPissed ยท 190 points ยท Posted at 07:45:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You need to get a CamelBak, I'd give you a link but I'm too lazy.
DGunner ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:02:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Military?
Just asking because when i was in everyone was issued a free camelbak. I still have an ACU camoflauge camelbak in my house right now :P
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:55:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Affix this device to your headboard and fill it with cheap vodka. Why would you ever leave the house?
SRSisPissed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:19 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just a resourceful weekend warrior.
Scarecrow398 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:05:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but then you would be that guy walking around with a ACU camelbak...
StonedSoldier830 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:48:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Keep the innards and get a black shell for like $10. Boom, money saved!
DGunner ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:49:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Better than being that guy walking around with a regular camelbak. Whe. I see uncommon sportsy gear that has obvious military connections I think "soldier", when i see uncommon sportsy gear that looks not related to the military at all I think "douche".
I'm talking to you, people who wear toe shoes.
rfelsburg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on what they're doing, if there's a need for I'm fine. If you're just tooling around campus, yea douche.
I wear one when I take motorcycle rides in the summer, in full gear, when it's 90-100 out, you have to otherwise you run the real risk of heat exhaustion and dehydration. General rule of thumb is at least a pint every hour.
Scarecrow398 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You know, technically its the other way round, the camelbak was made for cyclists...
DGunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What about toe shoes?
The_Chaos_Pope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hippies.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:19:29 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I second this. Between my husband and me, we have 5.
pyromanser365 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I did, it totally saved my life.
Drugs are bad m'kay?
livingshangrila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
well played.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha! I have one. This was late 90's though. I probably didn't know what a camel pack was back then. Certainly couldn't afford one. Our buddy bought the hamster bottles at the dollar store.
thesaharah ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 05:22:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant
bunnylebowski1 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 05:27:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! Whenever we were hungover, we'd lay in the same bed and try to get people to being us food and water. We always talked about wanting those bottles, cause we could barely move. One day, our amazing friend brought us two of them, and he hooked them up to each of our beds. Incredible!
The_Lone_Noblesse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
A scumbag thing to do would have been to fill the hamster water bottles with strong alcohol...
Edit: If I am hung over I am usually very dehydrated and my throat gets very dry so if I drink alcohol it burns like hell
Loftz0r ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:08:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hair of the dog, totally not a scumbag thing to do
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, can you imagine the utter disappointment?
findfind2 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:13:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
that doenst sound lazy it just sound inventive.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 06:19:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was inventive when we were sober. The fact that we didn't even want to lift a finger to hold a water bottle is pretty lazy.
Flyn1der ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:02:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I fill up my camelbak and hang it next to my bed. It works even better because of the flexible hose.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we hadn't thought of that back then. Great idea!
enjoytheshow ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:18:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think most of what I have learned in college has either stemmed from drinking or is directly related to drinking.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can honestly agree. That, and relationships. I learned more about life in general than I did from any specific class.
ucbiker ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:41:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ahahaha. I once had a hangover so bad, that I just let a Brita water bottle drip water into my mouth one drop at a time. I just stared at the ceiling for an hour letting water drip into my mouth before I was able to get out of bed. That was less out of laziness and more out of physical incapability of holding down the water.
jerkenstine ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:44:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Should have used a camel pack instead.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, hadn't thought of that.
red40 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:41:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The pros know that if you put a CamelBak on your headboard it lasts until your hangover is gone.
And it actually works.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oohhh... we never thought about that.
Kreekoh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:44:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Heard a story about premed students hooking up IVs with a saline drip to their beds so they could drink on test nights. Wake up, no hangover. Genius.
ArcadeJack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:32:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Most effective edit I've seen
FiendishBeastie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:43:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hung a Camelbak from my bed frame to do the same job, it was brilliant.
sylviad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:23:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have cats that love to drink out of or knock over water that I keep on my headboard for when I wake up. After yet another rude, wet awakening, I finally realized that I could reuse the Gatorade bottles that my hangovers were generating as catproof resevoirs! Now I have delicious, faintly cucumber-lime flavored treats to hazily reach for in the morning... and fuck my cats, those jerks have a fountain.
roxasaur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:55:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Until the cat drops a full gaterade bottle square on your face in the middle of a nice dream. Cats are dicks.
palanski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha. This is hilarious.
ChewyAG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:48:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not much water, still a fucking genius idea
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
SkittleSkitzo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:51:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is genius. I want one just for being thirsty in the middle of the night
Vkca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:48:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
read that as hooked up with a hamster.....
bunnylebowski1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
THAT would have been an interesting story.
USblues ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:49:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bladder from a camelback is the perfect solution for your attempt. Haven't slept without one since the night I figured it out. I don't even have to pick up my head to drink.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just saw someone else mention that too. We never thought about that!
DatKinkyGreen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Camelbak you don't even need to open your mouth, just sip and relax.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's what a lot of people are saying. I hadn't thought of that in the 90's. I have one now though :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:28:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You were smarter than us! A lot of people here also commented about the camelback.We never thought about that. You should definitely do it again!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No. Is that animated?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
bunnylebowski1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You kept clicking it after you saw the bottles the first time?
AnotherStrangeOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like how you just linked a search query instead of a picture... kinda supports your statement.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to upload one of those to imgur on my phone. I don't have pictures of the bottles actually hooked to our beds. This was the late 90's.
AnotherStrangeOne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I figured as much.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oops...I misread your original post, which stated exactly what I replied with. Oh boy!
jdb12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You have an Android phone and your carrier is Sprint?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just push the ball in with your tongue and suck.
voila
MechanicalTurkish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should have filled them with whiskey. Hair of the dog.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Blah! Then more dehydration ensues.
thedanks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What about a water bottle?
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then I have to lean over to pick it up and hold it while I was drinking. This way, I just had to open my mouth.
thedanks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:41 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, why not tie a water bottle up above your bed.
spacetime8 ยท 5022 points ยท Posted at 04:12:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
called the restaurant to send the waiter back to my table
[deleted] ยท 2959 points ยท Posted at 04:40:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is just genius
chill-like-that ยท 223 points ยท Posted at 08:28:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So many geniuses in this thread. Masters of efficiency.
skin_diver ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:34:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Masters of Deficiency (MD)
cynoclast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:42 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Progress is made not by early risers, but by lazy men looking for an easier way to do things.
WIDE_OPEN_BEAVERS ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:08:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've taken that call, just once. But it wasn't the first time this regular had done it. The server knew who it was on the phone when I told her. First thing I thought of "The call, it's coming from inside the restaurant!"
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:38:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna do that too
Evref ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Genius until you find a pube in your bisque.
neoballoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Go to a Korean restaurant and your mind will be blown by the little buttons
[deleted] ยท 2512 points ยท Posted at 06:29:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why the hell isn't there a flag system at restaurants? Every table gets two flags and a flag stand. One flag is red, one is green. If you need something, you put up the red flag. If you want to be left alone and enjoy your god damn meal without your conversation being interrupted, you put up the green flag. It makes everyone's life easier.
Sometime just please do this. I don't care if you take credit for this brilliant idea, just make it happen.
Orange-Kid ยท 1603 points ยท Posted at 07:19:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Japanese diners just have a button you can press, and somewhere in the restaurant there's a ding and your table number appears to alert the waitstaff that you want someone to come to you.
It's super nice.
Greycupcake ยท 166 points ยท Posted at 07:41:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I fear for the day one of the buttons break and the patrons of that table become increasingly distraught as everyone ignores them. I say fear, but I really mean that I gave a devilish chuckle over the thought.
ChineseEntrepreneur ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 09:34:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A nearby restaurant has buttons which display the last 3 tables that hit a button. Problem was if you hit it 3 times it knocks 2 others out of queue
wertymanjenson ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 10:00:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's a terrible system.
ChineseEntrepreneur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:00:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Huh.
Alobis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:24:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's also acceptable to yell sumimasen, effectively excuse me, across a restaurant to attract the attention of waitstaff.
Coming from Australia this was one of the weirdest things to get used to.
Faxon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you yell either "Gomennasai" or "Sumimasen", depending on if you're in a nicer place or a cheaper establishment and how long you've been waiting and the quality of the service up to that point, with the former being the less formal. I used to go out for japanese with a few japanese friends and a white fiend (more on him) for food. Whenever we went to one of the places they picked it was usually a japanese restaraunt/diner/ramen bar or whatever they fancied, staffed and patroned by almost 100% japanese people familiar with japanese customs. Hearing either one yelled was quite frequent whenever someone wanted service, and it was always responded too quickly and promptly on good days (when we tipped accordingly for the impeccable service). On bad days you'd hear more of the less formal to begin with followed by at least an extra louder yelling of whatever the person fancied if they were hungry enough.
Vakiand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
white fiend?????
KillPlay_Radio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The diners here aren't very big at all as a lot of them usually serve one type of dish as a specialty. All you need to do is raise your hand really and you'll be assisted shortly after.
InternetFree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, here in Korea those buttons usually have a light that lights up after you pressed it to confirm that it worked and even if nobody heard a 'ding' waiters passing by will still see it.
Sound_mind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This was a very exciting post, I appreciated the twist.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It makes a ding so you can hear that it went through, if you don't hear it you can just get up and walk up to an employee and mention the button is broken or gesture them to come to you and explain the situation. So usually it works better, sometimes you have to put a little bit more effort
omgkoreangirl ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 08:01:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Korea too!
writesinlowercase ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 08:38:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
asia is pretty smart at stuff.
cracka_azz_cracka ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:19:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Except for, you know, lines
writesinlowercase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
that's not a line, that's a hoard, and a pretty effective hoard at that too.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:34:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I love my bing-bong restaurants. So much easier than shouting "์ฌ๊ธฐ์!" 1000 times.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:13:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"bing-bong restaurants"
I don't know what these are but I love that phrase.
optomundo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:55:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I completely hate that. I know it's culture, but I feel like an asshole when I yell it out.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:32:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Even just saying "bla bla bla ์ฃผ์ธ์" makes me feel bad, since I know I'm just saying "Please give me bla bla bla" when I want to say "Could I please have bla bla bla."
Zagorath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:03 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, to the English speaker that's still a heap more polite than how the French order things.
"Je voudrais bla bla bla" translates as "I would like bla bla bla".
Dparse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it's a different language, and what you said in French isn't rude at all. English gets rather obsequious with its politeness.
Zagorath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:14 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm aware. I was merely pointing out that to an English speaker, the literal translation of French sounds less polite than the literal translation of Korean. In each case it's not considered impolite at all to a native speaker.
Astrokiwi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know! I never said it once. The year we were there, we went to the local diner several times a week, so we were fairly friendly considering the language barrier, but I still felt like it was far too rude to call out "yeogio!", so I just always awkwardly walked over to them instead.
Zagorath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:22 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel a little better, the "์" literally* means "this is polite".
* by literally I literally mean figuratively
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
and how would you know??? heh??
TPHRyan ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 07:47:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I find this odd, because at certain Japanese restaurants that I frequent, the waiting staff can just read your brainwaves.
salty-nutz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:59:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I miss having enough money to go out for sushi during this time of the year. There is this one roll that I love called the 'Foxy Lady': Tempura calamari, wrapped in salmon, avocado and crunchy batter on top. Roll is served over a mango/peach sauce. Wow, I love that roll.
*What's wrong? Y'all don't like my roll?!?!?
thisisyourfather ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:13:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wtf kind of frankenstein sushi are you eating?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:06:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
'murican sushi.
reverendjay ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 08:02:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same here in Korea. I'm gonna miss that when I get back to the states
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:35:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't go back man, it's working for me.
reverendjay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:22:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is not an option. Also, I really hate cold.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's gonna be a chilly one too, but the cold is kinda refreshing. This place is at its prettiest sometimes, when it's cold. A man can see for miles and the sky lifts on up. The cold is actually what makes this place.
peon47 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:13:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Also, on every airplane in the world.
noiplah ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:46:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I call it the "hi button"
You press it and someone says "Hai" (ie: "yes!")
Many many giggles at a table full of immature gaijin :)
blahguy28740 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gaijin = Foreigner for the non-japanese speaking folk.
JonaVark5502 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:20:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some of the restaurants in Malaysia has three buttons; order, bill and cancel. Makes life so much easier when you don't need to wave your hand like an idiot. Sakae Sushi has like an online menu thing, and you don't even need a waiter to take your order. You can refill your own hot tea at your own table too.
Xenokrates ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:33:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, I love it here
EgoFlyer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:04:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense, I mean they already have that system on airplanes.
paladisious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:20:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Most sushi places in Russia have this also. Alas, yet to see it in the West.
Cherrypoison ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:40:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I miss that so much. I was in a yakitori restaurant in Southern California the other day that really took me back to Japan. They were only missing the button!
It really lets you relax and enjoy your meal in a busy restaurant because you know someone will come after you press it --instead of trying to flag down your waitstaff.
Vanguard-Raven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:47:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a sushi place in Cardiff called Yo! Sushi that lets you push a button if you want a waiter's attention. It's quite useful.
hogger85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yo! Sushi is a national chain in the UK there are pretty much evreywhere and they all have this/
mrsquare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of sushi places in the UK do that too. It's the same as what you have on planes for flight attendants.
komali_2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Japanese diners? What? I've never encountered a restaurant in Japan with this feature. Usually you just kind of look at the waiter/tress and they know
minnabruna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some Russian places have this too.
my_names_nate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Everywhere that serves food in Korea has one of those call buttons somewhere on the table. Haven't been to a resteraunt or bar yet that didn't. It's amazing!
jimbo21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Which is super-awkward when you don't figure out what the button is for and nobody comes to help you. I speak from experience.
Iceman_B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They also appear next to your table in under 5 seconds. I'm not joking. Last year I was eating at the Saizeriya, and they took at most 3 seconds to reach our table.
If they took longer, my friend joked "wow, they are slow today". One restaurant I know here in the Netherlands has the same concept, but with a slower response time. It still is a superb system, no stress, no mess.
It's only trumped by a touchscreen/tablet ordering system.
vickydimitrova ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
YoSushi in the UK have it, it's so nice and convenient.
dasuraga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
inversely you never get harassed by the guys in the restaurant. Great stuff
NeoLearner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sumimasen!
Ctotheg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously I was just about to type this sequence of words in bit you did it instead. Many up. I'm tired.
roomzinchina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Chinese restaurants too, it's awesome and really efficient. In some, you can even download their mobile app and place your order through their app, saving you from having to rush ordering because the waiter is.. waiting.
brp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in Japan and me and some coworkers switched our bell with the empty table next to us. When people say at the table, we started ringing the bell and staff would run to them to ask what they wanted. Words were exchanged in Japanese and the waiter would leave. This went on for 5 minutes before they figured it out and we all had a good laugh.
SecondDerivative ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is a Japanese restaurant in my city that has touch screens, on which you can order anything, or request waitstaff. You can even see the status of whatever you have ordered (order taken, cooking, waiting to be brought to table). It is pretty awesome.
They also have a dish called Wasabi Roulette, which is six sushi arranged around a plate, and one of them is packed with wasabi.
lambofgod29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
there a japanese restaurant in the middle of Toronto where you order on an ipad, and when you submit the order the waiter comes around
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Korean too. Must be an Asian thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hank hill, is that you? In the golf country club episode.
Jungle2266 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sure it wasn't in China?
masasin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I was about to post.
duckmurderer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And they come immediately. It impressed me.
TheJunkyard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Japan used common sense. It's super nice!"
mocmocmoc81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.thewaiterbutton.com/
These are pretty popular in my country but customers prefer to just shout and waiters never bothered replacing the batteries so it's usually back to square one.
LicklePickle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yo Sushi in the UK do it. It's fantastic.
supermanticore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like the hot-water taps to refill your tea mugs at the sushi conveyor restaurants. Don't have to get up for anything. ever. Except pooping.
Thompson_S_Sweetback ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Japan, you can just yell, and otherwise they leave you alone. Best waiters ever.
Halffixed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I went to a delicious Japanese place once that had squeaky toys on the table, like little rubber hippos and pigs and stuff
Pinwurm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I miss that..
zakool21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same in Korea. I don't think that I ever waited more than 6 seconds for a server to appear after pressing the button.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They have waitstaff in Japan? I thought they just had secret doors that your food came through so you never have to interact with another human being
ratsta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We have them in China, too!
Billy_droptables ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of Korean places do this too.
draekia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately this buzzer is only around sometimes. Fortunately, however, once you order/receive your food they almost never return to bother you again until summoned.
midzo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gyu-don (a Japanese don buri shop near my home) does this.
Padgettnr15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:03 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
The sushi place up the street from my house has this.
fightingforair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:22 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the chain Izakaiyas do the button but it's acceptable anywhere to call over your waiter and flag them down. Nothing rude about it. Not sure why it's rude here in the USA. Well also you don't tip in Japan either.
745631258978963214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure that would go well with today's spoiled people and bratty children.
Kid: ding ding ding
Waiter: Sigh... yes, sir?
Mother: Oh, how cute! He called you over!
Waiter: Yes, madam, how may I help you?
Mother: Oh, I don't need anything, it was just my son playing around.
Later:
Mother: "WHY THE HELL ISN'T ANYONE COMING TO MY TABLE?!
Waiter: My apologies, I thought it was your son playing with the button again.
Mother: Aww hell naw aint no give you no right to ignore me a paying customer aw wait you blaming mah son for something i wanna speak to your manager now and get this food for free i mean shieeet!
(source - customers really are like this)
AkirIkasu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They have this same system at the all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ place near me, too!
The servers basically ignore it.
In fact, I think that it actually annoys them if you use it, because the times I have used it they came even less frequently.
SexTraumaDental ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a bar/restaurant in Japan where they had a tambourine at my table that I was supposed to shake to get their attention. After I got drunk, I never had so much fun with a tambourine.
cyberdude8511 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:42:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's super rice.
sireel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:05:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
in "Yo! Sushi" (Sushi chain in the UK, maybe elsewhere) the tables have buttons which play a random sound over the speakers that music comes through, and a light near your table turns on. Jokes on them though, most food is served on the belt so you don't need waiters much :D
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:31:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the same for South Korea. Glorious.
Shaysdays ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 07:33:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fogo de Chao and other Brazilian meat houses have this system.
Kernel_Forbin ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:05:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Green = BRING THE MEAT
Red = SO MUCH MEAT, GIMME A SECOND!
Same idea but sort of a different purpose.
deesmutts88 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:13:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the Brazilian BBQ that I've been to in Sydney has a cardboard disk. Red on one side, green on the other. Keep the green side showing if you want more meat. Flip it to red when you're full.
Monkeylint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was at Fogo de Chao with a bachelor party and we ate so much meat that we got "shadow-red buttoned" and none of the skewer guys would stop at our table. I had to go to the manager and tell him keep it coming.
I ate 6 bacon wrapped fillets alone, not to mention all the other servings of beef and lamb, wine, and the magnificent antipasta bar. I was so full I couldn't drink anything for the rest of the night because I couldn't fit anything else in my stomach.
Oh god, the meat sweats. But worth it.
Pottski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:41 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Except they start ignoring you after a certain amount of time if you keep asking for too much. Well excuse me BlueFire Grill in Melbourne - it's called all you can eat for a reason - what's the attitude!
schammy ยท 571 points ยท Posted at 07:27:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bubba Gump's in Maui does it. Can confirm is awesome.
YaDamnSkippy ยท 914 points ยท Posted at 07:37:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every Bubba Gump's does it.
STOP FORREST STOP
strongcoffee ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 07:49:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A person's success should be judged by how many different Bubba Gump's he's been to. Check out their locations if you don't understand why
You're not a tourist destination until you have a Bubba Gump's
Wiggles7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:41:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ya hear that Boston/Philadelphia/D.C./SanDiego? YOU AINT GOT SHIT ON MADIERA FLORIDA!
strongcoffee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:43:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tell it to Forrest.
wellsdb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been to at least five. I guess that makes me a medium roller.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:12 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
dont fuck with monterey california
PartyPoison98 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 08:31:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bubba Gumps is basically a hipster hard rock cafe
truculent_trio ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:32:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shrimp is amazing,you can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:37:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaand now I'm hungry.
skratakh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:26:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bubba gumps is real ?!?!? I thought it was just from Forest gump
Cyrius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:56:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was just a fake brand from Forrest Gump.
A few years later the film studio's parent decided to use the fake brand to open real restaurants.
dodge_this ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live near the mall of america and its pretty good!
g0_west ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure its just a licensed chain seafood place.
skratakh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bear in mind I'm from the UK, I just assumed it was a fake brand they made up for the book/film. I still can't believe casa Bonita is real.
g0_west ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, I think it is a fake brand. I mean I think after the films success, they set up seafood places called Bubba Gump. I only know about it because I saw one in Japan and it looked pretty much like a TGI Fridays or Franky and Bennys
Dayman-Aaaahhh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow Brit here.
It's one of my favourite restaurants. It's all based around the film (film is playing on screens, dishes named after characters etc), and there is one coming to London in the new year!
skratakh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
cool, i don't live anywhere near london though. might have to visit when i next make an adventure down south
strykforce89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:13:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
take that maui!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can you confirm something I've always wondered: Did Bubba Gumps shrimp come first, and was "Product placed" into the film, or was the restaurant a spin off of the film? Always wanted to know....
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:40:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
INvestigation appears to show the shrimp shack came after the film. TIL.
Cyrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The restaurants were started by Viacom's licensing division two years after the film. Viacom owns Paramount Pictures, the studio that made the film.
NickStuHall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:13:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, you leave Landry's Inc. and our excellent service out of this!
nbduckman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bloody brilliant restaurants.
EdricStorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
1FORREST1
forrestke18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
:|
schammy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't sure if there was more than one Bubba Gump's or not, as that's the only one I've ever seen. I assumed that they all would do it if that was the case though.
GeneralGump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:15 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
but I GOTTA FIND BUBBUHH!
Fearlessleader85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now if only their shrimp was any good.
dwoi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:46:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! I was just there a couple weeks ago
Fogo de Chao also does it with a green/red coaster
schammy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm jealous you were just in Maui :(
Guy_Hero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:58:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just how many types of shrimp DO they sell?
Wiggles7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
27
roxasaur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:57:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Best late night happy hour in Lahaina.
pilotdude22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lahaina is the best city in Maui, hands down.
schammy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Never been there late at night. I have had plenty of drinks there though. Man they are strong.
roxasaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They have their drinks for $5 late night (well late night for Maui lol).
schammy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah late night in Maui for me is like 9pm. Sun and drinks wear you out!
roxasaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What a tough life :P
schammy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed!
KauaiGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
All of them do.
schammy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:44:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know there was more than one :)
KauaiGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Las Vegas, right on the strip.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hope to god you didn't waste your time on Bubba Gump's and ate at an actual seafood place in Maui though...
Wiggles7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why eat at some local steak house when you have an Applebees right down the road?
schammy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a huge sea food person, other than sushi. I think I usually get a burger. The main reason I go is for the stiff-ass drinks when I'm dragged to Lahaina for shopping.
hardypart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought the brand is older than the movie. Nope, it's not.
TheReverendBill ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:31:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only problem is the shitty Japanese shrimp (and the rest of the shirty food).
schammy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But the drinks.... stiff and large, just the way I like it. I am talking about drinks here.
TheReverendBill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bubba's bartenders are given very strict pour tests, and all of the drinks are made to a precise recipe. Don't mistake the tail end of the pour for generosity--it's an exact 1-1/4 oz. pour using a 3/4 oz. jigger. Bartenders who can't accurately pour 1/2oz, 3/4oz, 1oz, 1-1/4oz, 1-1/2oz, and 2oz don't get time behind the bar.
schammy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That hasn't been my experience... I've only been the one in Maui though. 3 times total I think, and every time I walk out with a huge buzz.
CF5300 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:48:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Something similar exists at a Brazilian Steakhouse near where I live, they give you little cards to flip to green or red depending on if you'd like to be served more meat and drink or not. Mines always on green though!
ColumW ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:54:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you need two flags? Why not just one to signal you need something?
Thethoughtful1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:46:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
With no flag they will come by to check every once in a while.
ColumW ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:53:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. That makes a lot of sense.
keebler980 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:49:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's an all you can eat Brazilian restaurant near me that does this. Its a small wood block that's half red half green. Red for privacy, green for service. Very clever.
KatzVlad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fogo De Chau or whatever
RaveCave ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:49:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever heard of Fogo De Chao? It basically has that, but instead of flags there's coasters. They walk around with meat on swords and stop at your table if you have it green side up, move along if you have red up. Plus the food is absolutely delicious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:22 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I really need to go back to Fogo De Chao. That place is awesome.
Cyrius ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:29:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because Pancho's Mexican Buffet sucked ass, so nobody thought to steal their flag idea.
ApplesBananasRhinoc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pancho's was the 1st place I thought of for this service and nobody wants to go there or think about that place.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:07:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Cyrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck. Pancho's corporate went out of business early in 2012. There's only a handful of franchise locations left (mostly in DFW).
ApplesBananasRhinoc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What a sad day, seriously.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:10 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dear_Occupant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I must be one of the few people who loves the shit out of Pancho's. It makes me sad that they aren't more popular.
aprildh08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking LOVED Panchos in the 90's, but I think they were bought out or something; the last time I went to one, it was awful :(
Dear_Occupant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just did a bit of curious Googling to get the story on the ownership change and realized that you and I are talking about two completely different Pancho's restaurant chains. The one I'm talking about makes this, which I cannot recommend enough. If I had the money to spare I would have some sent to you just to share this wonderful experience with someone else.
aprildh08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't decide if it's worth the risk of ordering myself. I don't generally trust Mexican food from anywhere north of Texas.
Dear_Occupant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck did anybody downvote this. They've never been to Texas, I guess.
This stuff is certainly Tex-mex, and it's not pretending to be anything else. I suppose it's a matter of taste, but to me it's sort of like instant chicken soup in that it doesn't taste exactly like chicken, but it's still pretty good.
aprildh08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:33 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see any downvotes, but I did piss off a kid earlier so I wouldn't be surprised.
And thank you :) I'll consider it, though I remain wary ;)
danothedinosaur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:50:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually been to a place like that, sort of. A Brazilian steakhouse where if you had the red flag up they'd leave you alone but if you had the green flag up they'd bring an endless supply of meat. Mmmmmmmmmm
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:57:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Most korean restaurants have a doorbell/buzzer at the table to call a server. There is no off switch, but as with most asian restaurants, they won't bother you unless you call them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Also, Korean restaurants will just leave you a whole damn pitcher of water. That way they don't have to hover, and you don't have to bother them every time you want a refill of your tiny cup.
istara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:50:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I LOVE this idea!
I can't stand it when they hover round, or come back to ask you how things are when you've just taken a massive mouthful of food.
Waitpeople of Reddit: please confirm, do you deliberately wait until the food goes in the mouth so the person is unable to voice a complaint?
BadgerDentist ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:16:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, I pay no attention to whether anyone is chewing before approaching the table and asking if you need anything else. Most of the time it's just a "yep good", nod, or thumb up. If you give me that hand-over-mouth-other-hand-stop-sign signal that they want to say something, I wait there. I'd say this happens less often than once a day, and I probably make 50 such interruptions in a day, so it's very uncommon. It probably just seems like it happens very often because it is not at all memorable to be asked when you aren't chewing, or don't have anything to say.
Interrupting conversation is more common. About a third of the time I approach the table, you're talking actively enough that it'd be a bit rude to cut you off. So I do that awkward saunter, maybe pretend I'm checking if another table has enough Splenda packets, and give you a few extra seconds to finish that thought. If I'm real busy, it's not so bad to just swing by and go "all good here?"
I wish your thought trains and thoroughly chewed food the best of luck.
istara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:20:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! Based on what you say, I suspect it's more my own greed in diving right into my food and barely coming up for air to give them an opportunity to speak ;)
BadgerDentist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:30:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks in return for not talking with an open mouth of food. Only one lady has ever spit food onto my apron while talking, but it happened.
PAY IN CREDIT TIP IN CASH :D
istara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:02:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
99.999% of the time I tip in cash. In the rare instances where it's card, it tends to be in a more upmarket place that couldn't get away with screwing waitpeople for tips as it would make the newspaper (I'm in Australia - there's minimum wage here, and people are pretty fierce on exploitation).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:56:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wow, so lazy he doesn't care if he gets rich or not from his own idea
nooath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
its not his own idea
Rpanich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:58:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a never ending Brazilian BBQ place near me, and there's a sorta salt shaker with a red side and green side. Green up, guys come around and offer more meat, red side, no one bothers you.
This should be everywhere.
AKtheCAT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:00:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bubba Gump does it
jay_niel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:03:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tucanos Brazilian Grill does something similar, just not flags. The have a cylinder with a red end and a green end. The servers are constantly walking around and can see if you need something or don't want to be bothered. Good stuff.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:24 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a grill once that had a wooden cylinder that was painted Green on one side, Red on the other.
RegonaldPointdexter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.TM actually has this. There's a little sign on every table that can be flipped from "Run Forrest Run" (I don't need anything) to "Stop" (waiter, please stop at my table).
amyneko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Panchos mexian buffet...Mmmm sopapillas.
NoveltyName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In airplanes you can press a button for service. Maybe restaurants feel it will be abused.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There are couples who would leave the green flag up, not get there food, and then bitch about it.
fiplefip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Japan there was a door bell for each table that hooked up to a central calling system. It worked wonders.
MerlinBrando ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You only need one flag and it signals that you need help.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually common in some Asian restaurants (Many Korean restaurants I've been to and Japan's Saizeriyas come to mind) except you get a electronic bell that the waiter is supposed to immediately respond to unless the service there is just that poor.
bundabrg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or a button you press to summon someone. Like being on a plane. Or hospital. Or prison.
PASTLES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been to a restaurant in London where the booth you are sitting in has two different colours of lights in it so that you can switch to a certain colour if you need something. Should be done more often!
GavinZac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because in civilised countries the system is 'leave me the hell alone until I call you over without the need for objects to distance myself from a modicum of human interaction.'
TheLesbianator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brother plans on opening up a restaurant, will pass this idea on.
Pakiouttapaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or perhaps a server call button? It could page the server with the table number.
LieutenantDann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bubba Gump's actually beat you to it. You have a red or blue sign to indicate if you want a waiter to stop or ignore you.
witandlearning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a sushi place in the UK that does this (Yo Sushi). They leave you alone for the entire meal, unless you press the little button on your table, and a light comes on next to you and signals a waiter to come over. Works pretty well.
tubernonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Carnaval Brazilian Grill already does this. It's an all you can eat place. Green means bring more food, red means leave me to my feasting.
MilkTaoist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't even need two flags. Up means I want something, down means I'm OK. It's how Casa Bonita in Denver works. Rodizio Grill restaurants have an even better system; each table has this little wooden dowel, red and green on the ends, yellow in the middle, though it serves a slightly different purpose due to the way the restaurant serves its food. Green side up means "send in the meat parade," red side means "I've got enough meat for now, thanks." If you lay it on its side, your waiter will bring you your check.
fighterjet321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Remember where you are. Most people here, including myself, would probably be too lazy to switch the flags out.
trav110 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or to be even more visible replace the flags with flare guns. Your server will definitely not miss that hint.
bhouse08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your such a flaggot
Terminizor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fogo de Chao does something similar. But instead of just red and green for service, it's stop and go for non-stop "best steak of your life" being constantly brought to your table. Best restaurant ever.
Zecriss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've thought the same thing. I see no downside for the wait staff either.
dweeb_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rodizio Grill is a brazillian(?) steakhouse where they're constantly bringing meat to your table. Each table has one of these little guys. If you want the meat to flow like milk and honey you leave it green side up. If you need a break from your meat feast you flip it red side up.
mtd14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least for ordering or paying the check, my friend has a good method. Balance it on his head (menu or receipt thing) until they come get it. You look like an idiot and I'm sure servers think its stupid, but its pretty damn funny from our end.
mariopower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect except that you have the flags backwards. Green is go ahead and come over and red is stop bothering me. I have actually been to a restaurant like that.
userbelowisamonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Would it be condescending to bring your own flags?
armored-dinnerjacket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
we have this at the bubba gump in hong kong. its a pretty nice system
seanathan81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They use this system at churrascarias (Brazilian buffet steakhouses), and Pancho's Mexican Buffet
Source: I'm fat.
liveforglory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Will you run for president so this can happen?
Spraliish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is genius! I'm gonna tell my boss about this!
SkittleSkitzo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bubba gump & fogo de Chao both do this
Jed118 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Korea, there's a button on the table. Need something? Yell out "yogi yo" or just press the button.
No tips either. Great country!
5p33di3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I ever open a restaurant, I'll do this just for you. (:
Also because it's a good idea.
Though I'll probably be too lazy to do anything required to open a restaurant...
mulberrybushes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They already do this in Brazil but the messaging is notionally :
Green - bring forth the meat
Red - I surrender: no more meat.
paladisious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shout out to Mexican Graffiti in Geelong, Australia. It has exactly this.
If only they were tiny Mexican flags.
redducated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good servers will give you what you need when you need it and will always be scanning for eye contact in case they missed something. Source: been serving for waaay too long.
bam2_89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A chain in TX called Pancho's Mexican Buffet has you raise a Mexican flag for more chips/sopapillas. I've been wanting to put an American one in its place and tell them to bring me bacon covered with ranch dressing.
thenina818 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bubba Gump Shrimp has this, it's frigging awesome. Flip cards that say "stop" and "go".
BentWookee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe if each table had a bell ... (Curb Your Enthusiasm reference)
mucsun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is a Brazilian BBQ that has something similar to this. Every person has a button, green on one side, red the other. If you want more meat, you turn your button to green. Then you turn it back to red to be not disturbed.
Of course this only works if there is lots of good service personal.
Upholstergeist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They do that at brazilian steakhouses, or at least the few that I've been to. Red means bring me more meat, green means I momentarily have enough meat. But it also works to request whatever else you'd require from a waiter, and as long as they're at the table they can top off your plate with stacks and stacks of various delicious meats.
suburbiaresident ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is a literal flag system at this restaurant called Pancho's here in Mesa, AZ. Idk if it's still around but when I went there, they had a little flag you raised to signal the waiter
mightybonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Rio De Janeiro there is a great restaurant called "Porcao".
It is all you can eat spanish BBQ, plus sushi and salad bar (in case you are girl).
You get a coaster with these sides
http://i.imgur.com/zLymc3c.jpg
Simply flip according to whether you want a polite Brazilian man to cut delicious chunks of grilled meat from a giant skewer onto your plate - or you want to be left in peace to savour each bite while you make that amazing-meat-face.
You know the face.
LeJisemika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a server I think this would be great. Sometimes I don't know if people are done or need anything. Some people will just stare at you, you head over to see if they need anything, and they don't. They're just fine.
4Alex4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Much like most Brazilian BBQ restaurants but they use a disc. If it's on the green side it means "bring me meat" and vise versa
murica4357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking genius. May use this in my restaurant.
DrDickslexia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Name the restaurant "No Flags Allowed" or "God Hates Flags".
_Versace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or they could just have those little buttons like they do in planes to call the stewardess.
rubyredwyne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i went to a brazillian steak house that would just keep carving off meat from different hunks of animal unless you put up the red sign signaling that you were good. if it were green, the waiters would just keep coming and carving.
JohnnyBrillcream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Churrascaria's are like this, kind of. If it's green it means bring me more seared animal flesh. If it's red, I'm enjoying the tasty goodness of this seared animal flesh, leave me alone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this could have been done in the 20's..
RubeusShagrid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A brazilian steakhouse I love where I live does exactly this!
Except with a little cube. If you want someone to stop at your table with more meat, you put a green side of the cube upwards on the table. Otherwise, keep a red side up!
johnny_gunn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because most humans aren't retarded / socially incompetent?
We already do have a flag system, if you need something, you flag down the staff with your hand.
stinatown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a restaurant in CT/NY that does this (Bar Taco--they have a few locations, I think). It's great. I never realized how liberating it is to silently tell the waiter to stay away (or come over).
pedantic_dullard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You just described how a Brazilian bbq, or churrascaria, works.
TerrySpeed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you bring your own flag system next time you go to a restaurant?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
All Brazilian steakhouses have exactly what you are describing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a restaurant where they did this. It was a Brazilian/Argentinian restuarant where you paid one price for as much food and as much variety as you could eat. There was a little block on the table, one end was red and one end was green. If you had the green end pointed up they kept bringing you food, if you had the red end up it meant slow down, I'm still eating. You could flip the block up and down as many times as you liked.
skin_diver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to start a competing restaurant across the street that only uses one flag. Red flag means you need something, no flag is akin to your green flag. We'll pass our flag savings on to the customer and drive you out of business.
waffles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bubba Gump does this.
Ragezhard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is a chain of restaurants called "Bubba Gump's" that are found in tourist cities in the US. They have this type of system based on a scene from the movie Forrest Gump. If you don't need anything keep up the sign that says RUN but if you need something you switch it to the sign that says STOP.
prdax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's like at Brazilian places.
ecuintras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Casa Bonita used to do this. GREEN FLAG: MORE SOPAPILLAS PLEASE!
electrohurricane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And a checkered flag when you are done and want the damned check but can never find the waiter
tree77752 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is a Mexican all you can eat place where I live called Pancho's. They have little mexican flags on each table. When you need something just hoist that thing up its little flag pole and BAM, waitress out of nowhere. The food isn't very good, but it's the hangover destroyer. Especially since after your first trip through the line you don't have to get up anymore, they just bring you whatever. Best $8.99 a sad person can spend on a Sunday morning.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Genius. I hate being interrupted with "how's everything?" but then I get mad as hell when the server isn't there when I need something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I support. Airplanes have it, why not restaurants?
Batman_Von_Suparman2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your idea is actually being used in a couple of places I have been to.
CidO807 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fancy all you can eat Brazilian steakhouses do this so the waiters know if you need meat. Too lazy to spell check Brazilian
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is a restaurant here that does exactly that. Except they just have one single little flag thingi and you put it red side up or green side up.
SoupForTheDay ยท 340 points ยท Posted at 05:16:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Greatest thing I've read today.
404fucksnotavailable ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:03:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Read /u/TupperWolf 's one.
SoupForTheDay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for posting that, it just made my day :)
Schfifty426 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:52:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Would that soup of the day happen to be whiskey? Because 99% of the people in this thread would be interested it seems. You do soup for breakfast too?
robbiethedarling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:14:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Makers in the morning is the best.
Schfifty426 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The best part of waking up is makers in your cup!
Jesse_757 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a server who has this at his work.. It can suck for us.
Uigeadail ยท 1110 points ยท Posted at 05:39:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like hiring people who are lazy enough to work smart, but not so lazy that they don't work at all. Some of my most productive staff are the laziest.
You looking for work?
[deleted] ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 06:14:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Uigeadail ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 06:25:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Advertising, creative and account management.
gymineer ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 06:34:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What's the location?
*This message provided by Gymineer's auto-reply bot.
desuanon ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 09:32:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eh what's it to ya?
*This message provided by Desuanon's auto-Brooklyn bot
gymineer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brooklyn is fantastic (though their basketball team seems to determined to prove otherwise), but it requires visas for those north of the border.
A sad state of affairs.
Uigeadail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sydney, Australia and Makati, Philippines
CovingtonLane ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 08:16:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Question: 2 + 2 = ?
Accountant's answer: 4
Creative Accountant's answer: What do you want it to be?
gonnapie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:30:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats a lawyer's answer.
zefcfd ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:43:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lawyers don't have answers
Hell_Mel ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:54:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A lawyers RE: RE: RE: RE: Tort.
thunderballer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know the department of the treasury hires creative accountants
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:56:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 07:43:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this is for you.
fs337 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 08:13:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think Devito is for him?
Phatferd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
most likely someone who manages "creatives," which is often used in marketing and advertising agencies. These are the copywriters, art directors, graphic designers, animators, etc... This person is probably a Creative Director.
Uigeadail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Account Managers manage the clients that the creatives work for.
Sales guys sell our company, clients use our creative advertising services, Account Managers manage the client's expectations.
IamMotherDuck ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:05:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If your seriously looking for help, I'd love to ask you a few questions.
[deleted] ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 08:12:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
IamMotherDuck ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 08:31:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I browse reddit on my phone and use the "swype" keyboard. If you don't follow through that extra 1/16 of an inch with that last motion "you're" turns into "your". Then, "me" turns into "unemployable idiot". I'll leave it to help your "obvious karma whore" job. At least someone can benefit here.
afellowinfidel ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:33:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nice backhand.
gotacastleinbrooklyn ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 09:01:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yea don't hire this dude OP. Clearly doesn't work well with others.
IamMotherDuck ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:50:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nice. Kick him while he's down. As a side note. I love castles. Kind of my dream to live in one.
IamMotherDuck ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was referencing their username! Not throwing around insults. I was trying to make a friendly joke. I guess I'll just give up. Thanks for the compliment I guess haha
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:00:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
YouPickMyName ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:59:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use(d) swype daily, it's really not hard o differentiate your from you're/ It's actually easier than on a keyboard, imo.
IamMotherDuck ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:54:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Care to elaborate? I don't see how this mistake would be easier to make on a traditional keyboard.
YouPickMyName ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:22:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just meant that it's easier to write the word on swype, imo... I miss my Samsung...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:23:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
IamMotherDuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No! I just just making a joke referencing your username. It's so hard to convey tone in text. Sorry :(
president-dickhole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok man I got it haha I thought it was harsh at first than I read his username hehe made me giggle.
IamMotherDuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, made me feel a bit better!
ThrobinWigwams ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:32:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really good at managing my reddit account. Also I did this thing in this one thread where I spelled 'cats' from someone's acronym of reddit, so that's pretty creative and stuff.
allrattedup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:21:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Where do I send my resume?
zefcfd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like an octogon scheme
Jackolope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Graphic Design major here. I've been working smart since I was 16 and I'm thinking of switching to business, given my strong graphics background. If you're still looking for someone, I could use the work.
Chickendipper69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an experienced redditor and I have plenty of advertising (bullshitting on reddit) experience and account managerial experience (obsessively checking for karma). I think id be a perfect fit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hire me now.
the_breadsticks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get me a job in Denver, and I promise I will be the most productive lazy person you have EVER seen.
BEAVERWARRIORFTW ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:54:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm 15 and interested in business. Can I intern? :P
CovingtonLane ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:18:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
(Psssst. Interns don't get paid. Go ahead and ask for a real job.)
FortBriggs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:48:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But they're 15, I don't think they can work.
PretendPhD ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:09:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
spell your shit right motherfucker
BEAVERWARRIORFTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:33 on December 6, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I swear my spelling is better than that...
faceoftheinternet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:42:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Right now your business is school! Go do your homework!
FlyingSpaghettiMan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:08:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
hah
ProDrug ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 06:40:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to look. Prefer being poached.
binaryrefinery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:54:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you should get a job as an egg.
SugaRush ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:56:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The last job I had, when they asked me what was my most valuable trait. I told him I was lazy. I said, now hear me out. I dont like doing things twice. I get them done as fast as possible and right so that I can go sit back down and do nothing till the next thing comes up. It was for a onsite on call job. I got it, I spent the first 3 months doing nothing but playing DS and watching Netflix. Best job I ever had.
Uigeadail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when I interview people I ask them why I should choose them over the 1,000 other people who applied for the job and the 10 other people I have interviewed.
What I want them to say is "you'd be a moron not to hire me, I'm the best you'll ever get" but the usual answer is "I dunno"
If someone gave your reply I would at least remember it as being unique.
Honestly by the time I get a person in for their second interview the only thing I am trying to determine is if they will fit in with the team that has the vacancy, I already believe they can do the job.
enjoytheshow ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:04:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the word for that is efficient, my friend.
Bluepillschool ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 06:31:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You aren't Bill Gates.
averagejosh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:47:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You hiring?
CovingtonLane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:12:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I said this for years about programmers. The best ones are the laziest. And proud of it.
flantaclause ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:31:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I read this somewhere (probably reddit) and I think it's relevant. after a quick google search (again, found on reddit) I copied and pasted this. It amuses me and seems relevant:
Uigeadail ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tell this story frequently, it's one of my all time favorites, true or not.
It is the antithesis of "because that's how we've always done it"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:40:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I firmly believe the wheel was invented because some dude was too lazy to walk
teetole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:20:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I restructure workflows all the time at my job to aid me in completing tasks more quickly. My co-workers think in being innovative, but I just want to have more reddit time.
CGNYYZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:07:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. I learned VBA programming mostly because I'm lazy
wtmh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ardbeg Corryvrecken is my favorite scotch. Can I have a job too? :D
rocen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm lazy too. Hire me?
vmfillpot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you're anywhere near San Diego, I'd love to discuss career opportunities.
yellowmellowcustard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend is, he sounds like a perfect applicant.
jokerTHEIF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm on my phone so no source, but there is a quote usually attributed to bill Gates that is in a similar vein to this. Something like "the lazy guy is better than the hardworker because he will figure out how to do the same job faster and with less effort"
I_REMOVE_COCKS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bet this will turn out well.
PartyPoison98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, lazy people figure out the quickest and easiest way to do everything
realcoolguy9022 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is so true of IT. You don't want to hire someone too hard working. They'll brute force too many problems by doing manual tasks.
Much better to have all the problems cleared up, automated, and the IT worker relaxing putting out the occasional fire rather than constantly looking busy doing things that should be done better.
Lazy programmers are the best programmers. Just make sure they comment their code.
kevjames3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That describes Software Engineers! We hate doing the same things again and again so we get machines to do the work for us...my boss says he will only higher people to work for him who want to be lazy enough
Cagetastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bill Gates?
SanFransicko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was Bill Gates who said that he'd always hire a lazy guy to do a job because they'll always find the easiest way to do a task.
regalrecaller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like political organizing.
Step one: recruit volunteers.
Step two: manage vols while recruiting more volunteers.
Step three: train vols to recruit volunteers.
Step four: profit (for the political candidate)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bill Gates has a new Reddit account I see.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Prepare to see orange
BritishMongrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remember seeing a Bill Gates quote somewhere basically saying if you've got a difficult job give it to a lazy person, they will always find an easy way to do it.
I kinda feel that applies to me a little as I usually go out of my way to make something go easier/faster which usually means you end up getting more work than if you dragged out the initial job, it's counterproductive laziness.
FortBriggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A job where I can be lazy and get paid? Sign me up! I'd totally pick up my things and go to a job like that lol
Booze_Lite_Beer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
are you Bill Gates?!
Marc815 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
lizlegit000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so lazy that I find the easiest strategy to do everything at one easy step rather than take long ass steps
Harb1ng3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck Yes.
dinoroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately I've yet to come across those productive lazies.
cade360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what Bill Gates said... Literally
my_dog_is_cool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like ripping Bill Gates quotes for karma
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Someone called me?
maiL_spelled_bckwrds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is a Bill Gates quote.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Always give the hardest task to the laziest person, because they'll figure out the easiest way to do it."
MackLuster77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would, but I don't feel like filling out an application.
Ruddiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit, you have just given me cause for my existence. I am a lazy fuck, but I get my work done, but I am sort of ashamed of how much I sit on the internet. thank you.
delta9smoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's because truly lazy individuals will find the smartest, but easiest way to get things done.
Source: I'm a truly lazy individual.
Billybilly_B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you...Bill Gates?
darthmaul4114 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like my type of employer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am, and I figured Reddit was a good spot to check. Seems as though I made a good call.
Hygrocybe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
catjuggler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nice. I reoriented my entire career to focus in "lean" and "business excellence" because I can't stand doing things that don't create value (except for redditing, apparently)
nliausacmmv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:00 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So long as he doesn't have to fill out an application.
kyonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny you say this, the reason I'm so good at my job is because of how lazy I am. I've always had the mentality of "you want me to do what? that's going to take too long f- that" and found a better way to do it faster.
batbreaker ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:35:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm all two of those things and looking for work
flapanther33781 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:36:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He'll call you.
CommanderDerpington ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:52:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not
FamousThis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:05:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yo what's good?
thebrose69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:27:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I am. Where do sign up, and what am I signing up to do?
Fighter_Fire ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:31:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am.
MURDERDICK ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:40:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am
Tycoonkoz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:47:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're not Bill Gates...
KrakatauGreen ยท 268 points ยท Posted at 05:09:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As an apparently invisible patron of many establishments, this is going in the back pocket next to "let the air out of TWO tires on douche parking-jobbers"
[deleted] ยท 195 points ยท Posted at 06:59:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
IAmNotAPerson6 ยท 324 points ยท Posted at 07:04:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
This question shouldn't even need to be asked, because no one should be letting air out of someone else's tires over a parking job. That is infinitely more douchey than parking terribly.
EDIT: Forgot one thing. Not only is no parking job douchey enough to merit letting the air out of their tires, but now you'd be insanely douchey for doing it because now they're stuck in that terrible parking job.
atomicthumbs ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:25:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they're parked sideways across a handicapped spot with no placard.
Frothyleet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:44:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Presumably, parking in a handicapped spot is wrong because you are preventing actually handicapped people from using the spot. If you disable the illegally parked vehicle, than that means that the spot will be occupied longer than it otherwise would be...
atomicthumbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's why you drag their car out into the middle of the street with a chain first!
jimarib ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:12:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So you punish the handicapped by taking away their spot until a tow truck arrives?
Wiggles7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Also, poop on the hood of the car.
atomicthumbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
WikipediaBrown ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:36:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Life Rule #1: Do NOT fuck with someone's ride. I don't care if it's a Razor scooter, do NOT fuck with it.
CovingtonLane ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 08:09:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they are a douche bag parker, like taking up more than one space. Don't do that and no one will fuck with your ride. Promise. Really.
WikipediaBrown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can't wait for the day that you are in a rush, park slightly over the line, and come back to have two flat tyres. Reap what you sow.
CovingtonLane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:16 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It won't happen. Wait in vain.
Lowelll ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:54:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're a way bigger douche than they are.
CovingtonLane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:49 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen cars get keyed for parking badly. Your choice. Park between the lines, get keyed, or get flat tires. It is your choice. Really. That is all there is to it.
Lowelll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:41 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh thats how you meant it, I thought you were implying you'd key bad parkers.
Still, keying a car is way worse than bad parking and petty vigilantism doesn't do anyone any good. People who are inconsiderate when they park are an inconvinience. People who damage very expensive property of others out of a stupid need for redemption, mostly ignorant of the circumstances, are just assholes.
NoveltyName ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:17:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. You can never be sure if they had to park like that because something was in their way. Could even be a handicap person. You don't know if a douche was even in that car and you could be faulting innocent passengers too.
HiddenA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When clearly they decided to park over two spaces right next to the cart return. Them being a bigger suv and the spaces being for compact cars they parked diagonally across the two.
But I also have had to be that guy who has had to squeeze into a parking space next to a dick because it was literally the last one. That guy left while I was working and I got a note from someone else who was upset :(.
I would never do anything to someone's car. A car cannot protect itself and it shows cowardice and spineless-ness... No matter how much you think the owner deserves it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ooooh, the double douche backfire.
Nice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Someone let a small amount of air out of my mom's tires, bent the license plate, and threw coffee at the car because we were parked too close to his car. We were in our space. He had parked first and was way over the line. ~Some people are assholes~
Wiggles7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actually that was me and I can explain, as I was walking by some jerk swerved by and almost hit me while I was carrying a lot of hot coffee (luckily no spill), I stumbled actually kicking the nozzle to the tire sending the cap off and some air out. Not wanting your mother to get uneven wear on any one of the tires I let the same amount of air out of each of the tires (a small amount really). As I was cleaning up I started to walk away but my phone goes off startling me, I drop the coffee all over her car and myself and as I am falling to the ground I grab at the plate and give it a good bend. Now normally I would have left a note but the coffee was burning me extremely badly and I had no choice but to run full speed to my car parked a block away, by the time I cleaned myself up and returned your mother had already left.
AiKantSpel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:11:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. The lazy thing to do is just get a knife and slash 'em.
WaterproofThis ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:15:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest thing to do is just throw the knife at it and if it doesn't hit just mutter some antisemitic remarks as you drive off.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:54:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You guys keep talking about lazy, but you're forgetting that you already went outside your home... you lose the lazy game.
WaterproofThis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:03:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The real winners are the ones too lazy to post anything at all.
ClipperFan89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hummer vs Honda
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
CONUNDRUM
ehMove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't park in a stall properly then you should park somewhere else, that's a shit excuse in most cases.
Warning_BadAdvice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You can't really be forced to park in such a way a you will inconvenience someone else. Just park somewhere else.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:53:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
where do you live, wyoming? sometimes there really is just one free spot.
Muthafuxajones ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:33:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If it's some kind of car that most would consider "high end" and they're double or even triple parked then it's usually a sign that they parked douchey on purpose.
Impr3ssion ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:07:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The model of the car. Massive trucks and super expensive cars have to park badly.
yorick_rolled ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:38:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because they're parked in the fire lane in front of a grocery store and the vehicle is still running.
I don't care if I 'disable' their vehicle by doing this. A firetruck can just push it out of the way, no problem.
kylec00per ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:33:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
If you really want to fuck someones day up, get the little tool that unscrews the stem where you put air in the tire, when they go to fill it up it'll all just come right back out, they'll think the tires are shot and (most likely) take it to a shop. Then, they'll find out it was a $2 fix and they went through all that frustration for something that stupid. Edit: Here is one, available at auto zone and pocket sized.
ONE_ANUS_FOR_ALL ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:41:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Evil
kylec00per ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you're going to let air out of the tires, you should just go all the way and do it right.
ClintHammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you're getting it. If you loosen the valve stems the tires will develop a slow leak. They will either have to keep filling the tires, or they will leave their car alone for the weekend and have flat tires.
The first thing the guy at the tire place is going to do is spit on his thumb and put them over the valve stems. As soon as they bubble he's just going to change them all at about 3 bucks a piece and put new dust caps on them and say "Your valve stems was bad. That will be 8 dollars for parts and 50 dollars for the minimum hour of labor. I'll show you how to check them so you don't have to call us next time" and then they will feel like a moron. Loosening valve stems is the second best thing you can do to sabotage someone's car. The best is to put superglue in the driver's side lock. You can then watch a guy unlock the passenger door and hop over the hump every time because he won't pay to have the car looked at as long as one door still opens. If he apologizes later you can just pout acetone into the lock and it will work again
kylec00per ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yea i know, usually they leak noticeably over night though, that's when i'd do it. Or when they first get to work depending on how long the shift. And $50?! Where do you go that's that cheap, most places around me are $75/Hr. at the cheapest. And at my shop in school they have the stem core's by the hundreds, so we wouldn't charge, but knowing most shops they probably would. And yea that is another great trick, there are many that wouldn't really "fuck up" the car that could ruins someone's day, like taking their antenna for example.
ClintHammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tire places usually charge less than proper mechanics. Also I send my car to Pep Boys because they charge by the job and not by the hour. I have a 1981 Cadi that seems to have at least 1 frozen bolt in anything that could possibly break because most of those 30 year old components are original. Also the guys at Pep Boys get paid the same whether they are telling butt jokes or working on my car so they don't have a lot of incentive to cheat me. Also I don't think taking someone's antenna would be the great prank it was 20 years ago unless they are really into talk radio or something
Mr_Cumbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just slice the air valve. That little nozzle/nipple thing where you pump the air in. A small cut is all it'll take, and the valve isn't patchable like a puncture might be. It forces them to get entirely new tires, all because of a few tiny cuts...
UncleS1am ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Joke's on you I keep 4 spare tires in my car. No passengers though. :(
WillAteUrFace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not a bad idea. I usually keep sticky notes in my car for that reason.
amf_koz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:31:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a bar where someone did this and they were promptly ignored for the rest of the night.
THIS AIN'T OLIVE GARDEN.
MetaDefault ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:05:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I did this, though it was because we waited a really long time for someone to take our order. People at the table were afraid to call, but I was like fuck it we been waiting forever. The conversation went something like:
"Hello, this is generic semi-nice restaurant."
"Yes, hi. I'm actually sitting in the restaurant right now, uh, we've been seated but nobody has come to take our order, we've been here for about half an hour, so I was just calling to see if we could get someone to come to our table."
"Oh sure, someone will be right with you."
"Thank you."
Worked like a charm.
EDIT: I got the idea because I had been watching as the servers were taking calls placing more and more orders ahead of ours, and I thought; "hey, those callers aren't even here, but getting their orders in before us, and they're TALKING TO THE PEOPLE STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO ME, I'm calling."
betweenmolecules ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:45:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once called from the bathroom in a restaurant to tell them they were out of toilet paper.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:57:04 on January 24, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
You win. You just win this thread.
way_fairer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:34:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather have someone do that than snap their fingers at me.
InFaDeLiTy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How was the spit in your food?
jumping-bean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is a mexican restaurant in my city and they have a little flag pole on the table so when you need your server you can just raise the flag on the pole.
IceTwenty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did something similar at work once - the phone at my register wasn't working and I needed to call for a manager, so I called the store on my cell phone. In hindsight, not sure how I didn't get in trouble for that.
jonnielaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Psshht. Just knock an empty beer bottle to the floor.
synpse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've text the bartender for another beer... And this is in a small town! We tend to all be on phones here
ArtifexArcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not lazy. Thats fucking brilliant.
neon93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my hero
nlderek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have done this at a bar! The bartender was chatting up someone at the bar and paying no attention to our table...so I called the bar...
teamregime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would literally bring you your bill if you did this to me.
LightlessLightbulb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You, sir, are going places in life.
Perforatedscrotum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, I called in my order for pick-up at a Qdoba because I didn't want to stand and wait in the long line. I held the table for my friends and waited less than 5 minutes for my meal to be ready and nearly finished eating by the time they had finished ordering.
Woodshadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had thought of that before.
aloneinthedeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did this at a steak and shake once. She got a shiny nickel as a tip.
mslack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One local theatre (Regal) sometimes forgets to turn lights off. One night I called the front desk to tell them to turn the damn lights off.
KiloChild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a coworker do this once.
He was making some flambe in front of a table. I literally pass by asking him if he needed anything extra, he said no. Seconds later I saw him fucking grabbing his phone calling the restaurant asking them to please bring him something he forgot. We were fucking packed and I was pissed because he just did the most pointless thing in the history of pointless things. He thought he was being smart but it was just the most stupid thing ever. He was the worst guy to ever work with either way, he hadn't even worked a week and acted like he owned the fucking place, just stood around telling us to get moving and his face is what really got to me the most it made my blood boil every time I saw it.
Gladly he isn't working with me anymore.
Spangel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once sat in a bar and called it to order nachos
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called my wife from bed this Saturday. As in, she was up, I was still in bed at 1pm (waiting until I was reasonably sure my hangover was gone enough to warrant standing up). My wife is hard of hearing, so even though I could hear her, she couldn't hear me without me yelling out to her. So I called on my phone.
Koyoteelaughter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So far, this is my favorite shortcut.
colddeath498 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Boo fuck that I'm a waiter I would kick you out of my restaurant for being a dick
ThrindellOblinity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked at a supermarket, sometimes it would get busy and the queues for the registers would get really long. We would occasionally get customers phoning the store from the queue they were waiting in to ask us to open more registers.
seanathan81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a former waiter, I was almost bothered by this, but the more I think about it the more awesome it gets. Good on you, dude!
tattoolegs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm super lazy at work (a bar) I'll text my regulars it's last call. I make too much money for as little effort as I put in.
Master_Mollusc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Douche
ender278 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This one's definitely my favorite....
daytonatrbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
2 of the last 3 times I've gone to see a movie in a theater, there was some problem with the picture or audio. On both occasions I called the theater from my seat to have them look into it. The first time they had a hard time understanding what I was on about. They seemed in disbelief that I would call from within the theater.
SwedishBoatlover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this too, when it took over 30 minutes for the waiter to return with the drinks. Then when he finally came and gave us the drinks, he said "I'll be right back", and didn't return. After another 30 minutes of waiting I asked someone else if we could just pay for the drinks because we were tired of waiting. Another 20 minutes passed without anyone returning, so we just got up and walked out of there, not paying. They called an hour later and told me I didn't pay for the drinks. I told them that the drinks were on the house because it's not acceptable that we first have to wait 30 minutes to get the drinks, then the waiter not returning for another 30 minutes to take the order.
nom_yourmom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once called an ice cream place so they would come out of the back room and serve me.
rolfo87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen it happen at a restaurant i worked at, customer wanted his coffee refilled so he gave us a ring and politely asked for it.
I_Never_Came ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You give no shits, I like you.
mayodefender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a restaurant in my town where you order over a phone at every table. Me and my friends usually just ask for stupid shit like a single napkin or twenty spoons.
Epiqt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A man did this at my restaurant. A word of advice to non Hospitality workers; patience is rewarded, the more you make yourself known to a busy Bartender or Waitress the longer you will be waiting.
We know you are there.
Radioactivetire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
YOU HAVE REVOLUTIONIZED DINNING OUT FOR ME FOREVER
juel1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have to remember that next time we're neglected at a restaurant.
a2a87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this at Home Depot to get someone to help me.
klevenisms204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
we did this in class in highschool when a teacher would ignore us...
call the class phone.. "hi, we're at computer station 4, and you have failed to notice our hand in the air"
slyphox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once when the waiter for our large party was ignoring me.
I was meeting some friends at a sports bar and arrived a little late. Everyone already had food/drink but we were planning on staying for a bit so I wanted to order food for myself. The waiter came several times and despite practically shouting to get his attention, he just ignored me.
Finally, I called the restaurant from my cellphone which was answered by the bartender. I asked for what I wanted and noted if it could be delivered. He said they dont do delivery. I said look to your right and waved to him and the guy just kinda stares at me and starts laughing.
I later explained the situation to him and tipped him accordingly.
greym84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This has happened to me as a waiter. I was livid. It wasn't that the guy had waited too long, he was simply impatient.
psykiv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in Honduras. Third world by most definitions. In a shithole restaurant (I'm Hispanic so I thought the food was awesome). They had a waiter pager on the table with three buttons. Call, check, and cancel. The waitstaff would wear a wrist watch that alerted them. Only way to turn it off was by pressing the cancel button on the table. You want the check? Press the check button and they bring it to you.
Why hasn't this caught on in the states?
Ranger_Rose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did something similar, sat outside on the patio but no one noticed so after 30min I called them to let them know we needed four menus and a pitcher.
PmMeYourPussy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of the lazier and more impatient things I do is similar. The local brick oven pizza place gets packed right after bars close on the weekend. Lines out the door, 30 minute waits just to order. So when there's a line I'll pull out my cell phone while standing in line and place an order, and grin to everyone still standing in line on the way out.
queen_of_the_koopas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god. That's it. That's my lazy story right there... you just reminded me!
One time, my sister and I were going to the late night showing of a scary movie. We get into the theater room, and it's completely empty besides us. We're two.... girly-ish girls... and easily spooked, despite the fact that we've both got reasonably good heads on our shoulders LOL.
So anyway, we get in there, and my sister is sitting there browsing the internet on her phone. Eventually, the sign comes on the screen telling us to put our cell phones away. She was like "Fuck it, no one else is in here, I'm not going to." There was some background music on, but all of the sudden, the whole screen sort of froze up. It had been frozen for a good two minutes, before I picked up my phone, looked up the number for the theater, called them and told them what was going on. The conversation went something like this:
"Thank you for calling The Movie Theater, this is Movie Theater Worker Guy Speaking, how can I help you?"
"Yeah, I'm in cinema room 12, and the screen has been frozen for about 2 min-- no, make that about 2 minutes, thirty seconds now"
"You're. . . in the theater?"
"Yeah, and the movie isn't working, can you guys fix it?"
"Yeah, I'll let my manager know. . ."
"Cool, thanks."
It was both equal parts "Lazy" and "Too spooked to go out there by myself", why I didn't just go tell them about it... hahahaha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Done this a few times. They don't seem to like it though :)
CaffeinatedGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this. It works, and makes a point.
fecesking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was listening to xfm in London earlier and the dj basically asked the listeners the same question as this thread and then passed off your story as his own. Quite lazy in itself, ironically.
neverdeadned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
that's way more effort than I'd have gone through. I would have just sat there until they came back
VenomousViper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:33 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
"Please don't spit in my eggs, Please don't spit in my eggs"
"Hey, I just spit in that guy's eggs"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:48 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
tell me where did you find your guts
Akoustyk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:27:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did something somewhat along these lines. Was watching tv. Yelled for my sister to come downstairs by calling out her name. Once she got downstairs and came in the doorway for the room I was in, she was standing right next to the remote, so I asked her to pass it to me.
She didn't pass it to me, which was an expected result, but once I thought of the plan, it was too funny to me not to go through with it.
TL;DR called my sister downstairs so she could pass me the remote that was out of reach.
burstaneurysm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:33:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this to get the check.
SNAPPED_BONER ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:02:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thathappened
copiestopresponse ยท 5897 points ยท Posted at 03:48:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a class called OJT (on-the-job training) in high-school. Everyday the last 25% of school was dedicated to me being able to leave class to go to "work". We were given grades by our employers which would then turn into grades for the class.
As a high-school senior I convinced the teacher that oversaw this program that because I had my own corporation that I used to sell stuff on ebay I should be able to be my own boss. She agreed.
I failed that class because I didn't bother to fill-out the paperwork to give myself a grade.
dogfishchickorystout ยท 4007 points ยท Posted at 04:58:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit guy
Gnfnr5813 ยท 1231 points ยท Posted at 05:16:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your guy, friend.
omfgMURPHINATOR ยท 616 points ยท Posted at 05:22:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your friend, bud.
[deleted] ยท 159 points ยท Posted at 07:14:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Just gonna stop this right now before it gets out of hand.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 08:39:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
givethezombiespizza ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 08:54:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
slow clap
imoses44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
quick fap
M374llic4 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
looks you in the eyes.. slow fap...
Sventertainer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:15:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, man.
Lesar7 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your man, bud.
Youssofzoid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up no one likes you!
Manezinho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
C-c-c-combo breaker!
shandromand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
C-C-C-C-C-COMBO-BREAKER!
DGunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Plus murphinator fucked it up. Its "(He's) not your friend, pal."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, guy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Way to go, Pal.
kleenex_wipes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good save, pal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You must be fun at parties...
alphajohnx ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's not in your hands buddy!
Scheidecker1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:28:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, guy
Ljppkgfgs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your Buddy Guy.
HomeRahn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:29:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
CrazELuckK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
callddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, asshole.
DigiDude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not you, you
Bfreud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, guy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your buddy, Pal.
BambiBandit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
cherryBROla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your pal, friend.
BadBoyJH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:06:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just saw this exchange on a serious cop show. sigh
Macbrantis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your sigh, ugh.
KdogCrusader ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:26:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
ihavesharpteeth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:50:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your pal, mate.
Lcoolie ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 06:54:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you guys
ihavesharpteeth ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 06:59:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We're not your guys, friend.
SuccinctSmiles ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:22:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And he's not your friend, acquaintance.
CtraneS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And he's not your acquaintance, amigo.
Your_BestFriend ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:25:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey guys. He is my friend.
Chickendipper69 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We're not your friend, bud.
blackmartlet32 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:18:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lance coolie is that you!?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:16:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Taco_Turian ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 06:19:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your dude, bro.
Penis_Owner ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bro, man.
tfw13579 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:54:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your man, comrade.
Grahand ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:55:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your comrade, amigo.
SofaKingSkeptical ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 06:34:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
< Generic rephrase of above statements. >
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 06:11:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
He's not your mate, guy.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 06:17:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your mate, chief.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 06:28:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your mate, cunt.
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 05:35:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dhj0001 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 05:51:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing original here. Just another karma train junkie...
Hairyburrito42 ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 05:42:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
hes not your bro, comrade
dazonkey ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 05:44:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bro, dude
ThreeLeftNipples ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 05:52:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your Bro, mate.
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 05:41:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 05:45:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 05:42:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I did Nazi that coming.
[slaps knee] DANGIT!
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 05:42:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:42:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bro, man
Snowdude911 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:04:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your pal, man.
THAT_WAS_TITS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:50:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your pal, guy.
And it starts again
Mapex_proM ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:57:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your pal, mate.
Dr_Foctor ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 06:18:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your pal, buddy.
PapiChurro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, who are you calling bud, pal?
Codyhop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
assortedvariety ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your buddy, guy.
SchrodingersCatPics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
BIGNGR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your buddy,pal.
youngnreckless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to link the relevant South Park video clip.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your buddy, guy.
buckyforever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
BulldogsBiteBack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, man.
kramericaind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, guy
O0toiletPaPer0O ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud , guy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, amigo.
BerrySB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
Meeruman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal!
Hondo22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
DamniForgot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your buddy, pal!
Poopcatspoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
daveae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud,... no.
SANDBOX1108 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your buddy, guy
gehringr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, guy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your buddy pal
Serantos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
Goingtohellanyway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
Look_At_That_OMGWTF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, man.
Flashcaps00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
รl no es tu bud, amigo.
aleccraine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, motherfucker.
jonesg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, bro.
AbusedCupcake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not you bud, babe.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, moms spaghetti.
Billybilly_B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who you callin' bud, pal?
supersquid20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Friend not your bud, he's.
OhGodMoreRoadRash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
UkePlayingDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
Scream_And_Cream3000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal
Zak37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, chief.
merpthemerpingmerp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, bud.
Hunter3271 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your buddy, guy!
The_Fod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
Nyan_Ryan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:18 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, guy
brolinvids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:58 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
Steeva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:58 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, dude.
An-amish-cloud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:30 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
Box_Kitties ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:00 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He is not your bud, pal
UniqueError ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:57 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, dude.
Brozzki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:49 on December 16, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
Jarl__Ballin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:51 on December 21, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He can be my friend...
Honeydew_Inc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:52 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:54 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, lite.
Schfifty426 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 07:49:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, DICK.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 08:18:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not Richard, Bill.
GoBanjo ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 08:18:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your dick, asshole.
regalrecaller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, guy.
supergreekman123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your buddy guy
PandAlex ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, guy.
Phallic_Phenom ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:19:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HE'S NOT YOUR BUDDY, GUY!!
PepperTain ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:04:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
bphilly_cheesesteak ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:08:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
Archonet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:09:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, guy.
Refo1689 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:13:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal
ElGatoQueso ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 07:21:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal
ebauss ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:03:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only on reddit
grayda1 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
ryan848 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
TAPrice ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal!
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, amigo
SamCropper ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:19:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can't we all jut get along?
electricmaster23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:58:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
too cool for buddy now, are we?
Chickendipper69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:59:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Maxster99 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:54:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
LarryHolmes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:56:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, guy.
mateuszkucz99 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:57:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, mate.
WhatTheFhtagn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:04:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, mate.
Jmsnwbrd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:09:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, dick.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:15:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your buddy, guy!
WaGgoggles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:16:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal
derp1213123 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:19:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, guy
Penguinswin3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:25:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
LordoftheBoogie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:38:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not the droid you're looking for.
Nuclearbananas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:45:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, bro.
USAF_DTom ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:50:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:52:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:56:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, jackass!
Adog12398 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:03:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
paulygrip ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:03:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:05:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal
Supplemehntal ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:07:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, bro.
Karpuan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:11:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal!
drporkchop31 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:15:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
Pure-Pessimism ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal!
Bulldogs7 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, acquaintance.
Koe-Rah-See ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
TheMariachiDingo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, man.
Tat2dKing ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal!
just_a_lurkin ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really pal?
fourfingersdown ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your mate, cunt.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
S4mcruz91 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
Tomledo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not you bud, pal.
DoomBox ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
chill-like-that ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, guy.
dmb1993 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
more_to_love ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal
SpinyShell ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, chief,
JooseBachs ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, son.
anton645 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
Brasshole ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
Not_Really_A_Twist ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Twist: not actually your bud, fella
eifersucht12a ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your buddy, guy
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, guy.
PresidentBross ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your friend, Pal.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
irishpotatoess ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
iMine4Dub ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, man.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bro, I'm not your bro bro
brickfacecupboard ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
stickmalone ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, Dude.
woman_dont_poop ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your Bud, Guy.
awesomedude4100 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
hes not your bud, pal
r0ckuran ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, homebiscuit
Unsuspectingturtle ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
junglenut ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 05:28:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey that's my bud, dude!
niggalodean ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
Posing_Hipster_011 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:58:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal
FewFrothies ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 09:57:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, chump.
rustbukkit ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 05:58:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, pal.
44Diamonds ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:35:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your bud, weiser.
RocksMyNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your friend , pal
texsurfin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not your friend, buddy.
MrXeno ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:30:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your friend, buddy.
TheDroopy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:30:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure why you got downvoted for using the right quote
Gnfnr5813 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 06:32:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your buddy, guy.
MrXeno ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 06:34:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not your guy, bro.
TheRemonst3r ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:15:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your friend, buddy.
Shelton69er ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 06:05:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your friend, buddy.
superseriousaccount5 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your friend, buddy.
ScrubGG ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:26:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your friend, pal.
bhouse08 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 08:51:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your friend, bud.
dami1 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 09:52:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your friend, buddy.
warchitect ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 06:25:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's not your friend, Pal!
Cromesett ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:25:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently double-lazy doesn't make a positive.
TheActualAWdeV ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He copied the top response from a much older thread on the same subject. Which I read half an hour ago because I was searching for this thread because I'd seen it elsewhere but hadn't had the chance to read it.
Greyhaven7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was that an "Undergrads" reference?
shitakefunshrooms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
to quote Dr Ian Malcolm: "life... uh.. finds a way"
Private0Malley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:40 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Worst. Superhero. Ever.
[deleted] ยท 2243 points ยท Posted at 05:29:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Pudge3 ยท 140 points ยท Posted at 06:33:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paperwork is a real bitch, it's a miracle that I ever got into a college.
AiKantSpel ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 07:09:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cuz your mom did it for you.
ionicbondage ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 10:00:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
His mom did it for me too.
qervem ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 09:17:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because of his broken arms, right?
qervem ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 09:17:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
something something every thread
blah blah blah raise your dongers ใฝเผผเบูอเบเผฝ๏พ
HolyNarwhal ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 07:08:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I did the homework but never really bothered turning it in. Pretty sure I was at least mildly retarded in high school.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:53:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just out your second account?
HolyNarwhal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Turns out I might still be on the slow side. What do you mean?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:09:31 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It seemed like you were responding to the original comment as if you had written it yourself - since the usernames were different I thought maybe you had two accounts. Now I see that it is more likely that you were just stating that you have done something similar.
cuddlefucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did the exact same thing. Holy shit! We should start a support group or something.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:31:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
The_Original_Gronkie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:22:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The same thing happened in a chemistry class taught be a completely inept teacher who only wanted to coach hockey. I said I wanted an A and got it. My friend got a B. She was pissed at me for getting a better grade, but I told she deserved the B for being too dumb to ask for an A.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:28:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The hard part is done. The game is broken and solved. Why bother playing anymore?
Yeah I do the same things.
ControlRush ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:31:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My senior year, I convinced my mom and counselor to put me in the online 'catch up' courses that my high school offered instead of my regular classes because I didn't want to go to school everyday. Shit was so easy I could breeze through a semester in a few hours.
Didn't finish any of them before summer and had to go to summer school.
cC2Panda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fast forward to adult life and be like me. Haven't bothered to invoice multiple companies because I'm alright without the few thousand extra. I keep meaning to but invoices are so tedious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same here except I would have just forgotten.
MrArtless ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 09:24:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
DAE LAZY BUT SHOULD BE AT HARVARD?
Chupa_Mis_Huevos ยท 1218 points ยท Posted at 05:24:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Similar thing here. When I was a Senior in high school, I was sentenced to 80 hours of community service for something a friend did. I was considered an accomplice. So I showed the paperwork to the front office staff in charge of attendance, and told them I would need to be excused from school at 11 am everyday until I finish this. So they put in an exception on me, which allowed me to sign myself out of the school every day at 11am. They just told me to let them know when I finished with it. I never did. I finished the hours in 3 weeks and the rest of the schoolyear checked myself out at 11.
ArcaniteMagician ยท 520 points ยท Posted at 06:11:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it - did you not have classes after 11 AM? Wouldn't you be missing those classes?
Quest4life ยท 537 points ยท Posted at 06:32:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Senior year I had 4 classes. I was done with school before 11:00 because I only had 2 per day. Fun times were had.
kingbot ยท 554 points ยท Posted at 06:56:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So wouldn't you be allowed to leave at that time? I mean you don't have any classes so where would you stay and how would they know if you weren't on campus
Not_Steve ยท 234 points ยท Posted at 07:11:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some schools make you stay for four hours so they can get the money for your attendance from the government. At my high school, they saw that I would always ditch but because I did homework I had good grades so they implemented a rule saying that after a number of absences, the student would automatically fail the class(es). Regardless of doctor's note.
SwollenOstrich ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 07:51:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's silly. At my school if you were a junior or senior you were allowed to leave campus in between classes or when you were done with classes as long as you checked out and in. Pretty sure you had to be passing all your classes though. The Starbucks down the road made millions from this policy.
AtomicFez ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 09:26:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My highschool let you leave as soon as you had finished classes, didn't even need to sign in or out. And at 18 you could sign yourself out of classes whenever, if you fell below 80% attendance at the end of the year you didn't pass the class.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:37:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is what my school did minus failing students for attendance. I missed 140 classes my senior year and still got accepted into a very good University.
Keykatriz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:18:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My school didn't have you check out either. If you didn't need any more credits, you could just ask for off-campus periods. Every other day I got off after my first class because I only needed 4 classes for my last year. They'd put a sticker on your ID saying you have off-campus on certain periods, and if a hall monitor saw you in the parking lot they'd ask to see it...but they only checked during like the first week of school.
uniden365 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:24:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much the same with the school I went too, they were supposed to give out open period cards but never did.
There was nobody around to ask for them anyway.
We skipped assemblies all the time to go get burritos.
Aaahh, what I would give to be in highschool again.
Keykatriz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:29:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the class that made the school news program, so they gave us a 'press pass' for if we needed to film something during class or get into events for free. Mostly we used it to skip class and go to Burger King.
SoarinPastTheMoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At my school the security guards waved to me while I drove off to get coffee.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. We were probably suppposed to check out with them but if we didn't have class we just left.
Was nice when IB exams ended in May and everyone else was still in school in June.
msimione ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At our school, if you didn't have class scheduled, you just left... I would aimlessly walk around the grocery store next to our school because I had no class between 4th and 7th period...
Kinseyincanada ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:34:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What weird fucking schools did you people go to? How the hell do you only have 3 hours of class a day?
juel1979 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you get too many/enough credits early on, so you only need the minimum your last year or two (mine was a history and English class). Junior year, I took up two periods being a teacher's aide to two different teachers. Senior year I had one aide class period the other half was taken up by vocational school, which was half a day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel bad for the students, only 24 classes over 4 years? How do you even get a proper education? There's no way they got to take classes like I did; sociology, mechanics, programming, law, drama, business, advanced chemistry, advanced biology were all elective classes I got to take during high school on top of the required math, English, science type courses.
Keykatriz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think at my school you needed 24 credits to graduate and you typically took 6 classes a year. Classes were divided between A and B days; each day had 3 2-hour classes. There was also 0 Period though, which was a class every day an hour before normal school started. I took a 0 period science class in Junior year, then a 0 period office assistant position in Senior year.
Since I had enough credits, I was able to only have one class (plus the 0 period) on my A days, getting off at around 11.
whatisthisaboutbetsy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Makes one wonder, huh? Even up to my senior year I had 6 classes per day including dual enrollment at a local community college which counted towards my highschool English and Math.
I had 10 minutes to get from the college to the high school before I was counted late for my 3rd period class. Every three tardies counted as a detention, no exceptions.
therealflinchy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:52:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wow.. highschools here it's class all day unless you have a major impairment.
naroush ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:53:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Failing a class you passed despite not attending is a comment about the quality of education the school provides, not the quality of the student.
Not_Steve ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! That was my argument! It landed me in detention.
Lay_May ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:36:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see how that's even legal (assuming you had documented legitimate reasons).
I only needed a few classes my last year of high school. The dual enrollment college lost my transcript so they didn't accept me. The back up plan worked though: I am disabled and just had a doctor write something saying least stress possible. Because of how they get paid, they wanted me to do 6 classes and one online So I told them no, not only did I only need 2 credits but also my doctor says I shouldn't over work myself. So I was staying till first lunch and leaving. Worked out well.
Not_Steve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you look closely, the Constitution doesn't consider minors eligible for many (if not all, I have researched every article) of it's promised freedoms. Free speech is one of the major ones, kids across the nation have gotten reprimanded for speaking unpopular opinions. Freedom of press, don't put anything controversial in your school newspaper. Some states/school districts even ban unauthorized student publications that are sold and/or given away at x amount of feet from the school. And I'm not talking about pornographic subjects either. Most are quite mundane. Students can be "pressured" into going to different schools, no political rallies, I've been denied the right to form a religious club when there were already two of other denominations. My Gay-Straight Alliance club was pushed around and clearly not approved of by school administrators (we had "special rules"). Schools a crossed the States are constantly breaking civil rights for "safety" (and I'm not talking about clear backpacks and metal detectors) and are using student's lack of knowledge about laws to get away with things. Which is ironic because isn't that what they're supposed to be teaching? We really need a school reform. The system currently in place has been outdated since the homesteaders. (P.S. Yeah, I was that kid and, try as I might, no other students were on board with me. I got a lot of detentions.)
Lay_May ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm kind of confused as to how this relates to what I said. Even with a lack of personal freedoms at that age, between my parents and my doctors, I would think the school couldn't deny the laxed schedule.
Pokeyokey1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:49:27 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
and that in a nutshell is why I have a GED.
not_ben ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:46:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Our Usernames!
Not_Steve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have an identity crises too?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, at my high school if you have more than 9 absences you have to take a competency test instead of the exam at the end of the semester. If you fail the comp test, you immediately fail the class, regardless of your grade. If you pass, they just average it into your grade, like an actual exam.
IshJecka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:16 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, plus if you missed 21 periods in the entire year, unexcused, you couldn't walk. There were 6 periods a day.
yessam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If was the same at my school. They finally started enforcing the rule during my senior year so I ended up dropping out.
Quest4life ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:11:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We weren't allowed to leave until after one (school policy) but you still needed to have a valid reason like a job. And if you didn't, like myself, you spent your entire day walking around campus. There was a park near my school that we went to and would blaze up for a few so that was a plus.
Daniel_Is_I ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:03:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Not sure about this guy, but nowadays high schools won't let you leave early even if you have no classes because they're responsible for students until release. If a student leaves early, and nobody but the school knows, it's their responsibility. If that same student gets in trouble, the school also gets in trouble. It's not a matter of the school not trusting the students; it's a matter of if the school allows a student to leave early and that student gets hurt through his own stupidity, the school is partially to blame because they let that student out early. They either let the student out under the care of a person they know as a contact (parent/guardian), or the student can't leave.
At least, that's how it was in my school district. Same reason why my high school didn't allow students to go off-campus for lunch. Didn't stop kids from sneaking out of school early through one of the back doors, of course. But it was rather ridiculous that you had to sneak out to begin with and couldn't just walk right out of the front door without getting into trouble.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:05:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At my school if you didn't have a class, and were a junior or senior with paid dues, you were allowed to leave. School wasn't responsible for you then, either.
karmapuhlease ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:10:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Weird - my high school (graduated 2012) let you apply for early release and/or late arrival if you didn't have a full schedule in your senior year. You couldn't leave early if you didn't have it though.
dementicon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:32:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My high school, which is still like this, had a "no fucks given" policy. If you didn't have class, they didn't care where you were. There were 7 periods and it wasn't untypical of a senior to only have 3 or 4 of those filled with an actual class. But then again over 50% of the student body graduated with 4.0s and our Ivy league admissions were off the charts for a small town.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:42 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I went to two different public high schools and the first HS I went to had the "no fucks given" policy because the students would rarely get into trouble. They were the ones who got perfect GPAs and went to Ivy schools. It was located in a pretty affluent neighborhood and the students took their education very seriously. I can't say the same for the second HS I attended. It was an opposite world there. I wasn't allowed to leave campus even if I had no classes, unless I was accompanied by a non-student adult. There were fences bordering the school property and it was nearly impossible to leave unless you went through a lot of hoops and obstacles. You always had to notify someone where you were headed and faculty members would go out of their way to try and catch you skipping class if they see you roaming the halls about. I'm not even going to get into the educational quality of the classes themselves. I'm gonna guess that about 1% of the students in this HS would overcome this horrendously confining school experience and get into a respectable university or be on that par in terms of career establishment and community involvement. But these students seemed to enjoy life a little more in general as a whole than the students at my 1st HS so you could say that for every con there's a pro and vice versa
Lucidknight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:52:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My school let you do the same if you had an empty schedule so that you could fill the space with college classes. My sophomore year a bunch of the seniors stopped going to the college classes and the school started making you fill your schedule with electives. You could still apply to leave to take college classes but it had to be during an elective class and be okayed by the teacher. I also graduated in 2012
bdogg101594 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:05:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can't speak for him, but at my HS even if you only had 2 or 3 classes you would have to go to study hall until 3:20
kevlarhouston ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:50:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
See this is public school, at that point they'd force you to take classes you didn't need to fill up the rest of your schedule.
throwmeawayout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:56:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As many others have stated, many schools will hold the student and assign the remaining time as "independent study" or "ed. practice." Many seniors who have already been accepted to a 4yr university end up with a half-load final semester - especially if they are in advanced placement.
doverawlings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or, you know, none of it actually happened.
SRSisJustice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you've even been a high school senior yet if you think this. I never heard of any schools letting their Seniors leave super early after 2 classes unless they had something else.
For me, it was a super easy college course I had every Wednesday because it counted as a bunch of credits. I alternated gym class so I got to take 2 or 3 classes then head home by 11 or earlier every day, it was the best.
doverawlings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am a high school senior right now, and you can absolutely leave when your classes are finished. As for the other part, I don't know how your classes and wednesdays worked, and I really don't give a shit whether or not this actually happened.
SRSisJustice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"I really don't give a shit whether or not this actually happened."
Taking the time to post "Or, you know, none of it actually happened."
Top lel. Pick one
doverawlings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relax I was just exploring the possibility. Don't take it personally, I have no clue who you are... And taking the time to post it took all of 5 seconds.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:45 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I only had 1 class at my school every other day. I left at 9:50.
PoonaniiPirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude it's real! He's telling the truth!
fr4ust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know in some places, if you aren't 18 you can't sign yourself out of school. They basically just stick you in study hall or office aid until school's over because you're still their responsibility.
elembee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I had "spares" in high school I had to go to a room and "study". It was total BS, even if the spare was the last period of the day we still couldn't go home.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He would probably get study halls. Since he probably was a bit lazy and decided to take minimum requirements for senior year, the school wouldn't let him leave either. Majority of students were probably taking elective classes.
That's how It was for me
Vickshow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Where I was if you didn't have at least four classes they didn't allow you to be there as you were considered a "part time student". I went back for an extra year in high school because a course I needed for college wasn't offered in my final year, and it wasn't offered until the second semester. So for the first month or so I was taking a grade 12 guitar class and helping to teach the younger grades in another guitar class until they basically told me that I didn't have enough courses to be there and not to come back until the second semester because they didn't want any part time students.
IAMA_Mac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The way my HS worked was, the last class that could finish up early like that (My class, '08) without parental permission, they thru you in a study hall after 11:30 until dismissal at 3. You can bet the kids who didn't get parents permission were mad...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well people that have an Internet connection only have it because they mentally or physically consented to the terms that restrict liars from entering false information to websites like Reddit.com, so clearly there's a reasonable explanation behind all of this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
America
ImOnlyDying ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Schools expect you to be there when you don't have class, to "study", and if there's an emergency they'll look for you if you're not signed out.
IncrediblyHungry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Usually they wouldn't let you set that schedule, requiring you to take a bunch of bullshit filler classes.
Produkt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Different guy responded
IToldYaSo_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can't speak for him, but I was in a similar situation. I only needed to take 3 classes, but the school forces you to take more to be there all day. I ended up doing work release to get out early but still was taking a full course load that I didn't need
cthuluhascalled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least at my school, seniors have 'senior commons' which is basically 'do-nothing' for free periods. They're only allowed to leave early or come in late if they have SC fort or last period. We have to be here for x amount of time for it to count as a full day of school
NearlyFar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar situation. I had 2 study halls and an extra PE. I was in sports though so I couldn't leave. Entertained myself just fine though
IHSV1855 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about OP, but at my school we had a gated and monitored parking lot, so you couldn't leave without security knowing.
blahhhkit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're confusing the two replies. The community service person isn't the one that said they were done at 11
HaydenSI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some schools make you stay until the end if the day. They will fill your day with dumb slots like study hall.
Billybilly_B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Law in California (at least) says the district is in charge of the kid from when he steps on campus in the morning to 3:00. So the school wouldn't let him leave. My school had cameras and they could close the parking lots (so your car was locked in).
Irrelevant_muffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At my school, if you were done with classes, you had to stay in the library or choose a "fun" class.
Bunnyhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I only needed English my senior year of highschool to graduate, but they required me to be there for 4 total classes either way. So I had English my first class and then 3 classes of PE that I ditched everyday.
no_sleep_for_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Closed campus maybe?
TheEarthIsFlat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:53 on January 14, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Not in American suburbs.
...in New York.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:53 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kingbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:01 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
lol, this thread is 3 months old dude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:47 on May 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kingbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:12 on May 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Just got a comment from someone else who replied to an almost two month old post. Can you people stop.
howardhus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:18 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Shits made up
dagggers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lol the guy you just responded to is not the same guy
Init_4_the_downvotes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:46:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
once you are 18 you can leave whenever the hell you want
thirtythr33 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:09:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Study hall, motherfucker. (I had to balance out a really boring word with one which is very exciting. I apologize for accusing you of fornicating with your mother.)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:32:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the same position but didn't leave at 11. They gave me extra classes like team sports, cooking, etc... Was fun classes tho
BMEJoshua ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:53:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Taking the bare minimum sounds like a quality way to spend your time in high school
Quest4life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was an AP student since 9th grade. I deserved that break and then some ...
BMEJoshua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:22 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your sense of entitlement won't help you in the future. Fact of the matter is that your schooling was already paid for (assuming public school) and you lost out on some potential benefits.
Quest4life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:35 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You've got some nerve. You want to talk to me about entitlement? I bet you've never had a problem in your life. I bet you never had the power turned off and had to do homework by candle light. I bet you didn't have to wake up at 4:00 in the morning just to make it to school by 7:30 because there was no school bus route from your neighborhood and your grandmother was too old to drive you. I bet you never even had to endure the pain knowing daily that you could come home and see the only person who cares for you could be hours dead and there would be nothing you could do. That's what I had to go through in high school. You made the mistake of thinking I was some entitled little asshole like yourself but no I didn't have that luxury then and I sure don't have it now as an adult. All I've achieved so far has been because of my doing, my strength to persevere and I'll be damned if i'm gonna let a prick like you tell me I wasted my education.
BMEJoshua ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:20:49 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is you're focusing on the things in life that don't really matter. When I was a kid I had hopes and dreams. We all did. But over time, the daily grind gets in the way and you miss the things that really matter, even though they are right in front of you, staring you in the face. I think the next time you should ask yourself "Am I on the right track here?". I don't mean to be rude but people like you I really pity. So maybe you could use the few brain cells you have and take advantage of the knowledge I have given you now. Good luck.
Dr_Drunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:40:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I also had 4 classes my senior year. My school had alternating days. There would be A days and B days. One week the A days would be Monday Wednesday Friday and B days would be Tuesday and Thursday. The next week it would swap. The only class that I needed to graduate was senior English and then 2 elective credits. I went above and beyond. I took English and then yearbook with two photography TAs. I scheduled them all on A days. I had school either two or three days a week. When I did have school I started with English and then left to work on year boook. Most days I would just leave until I had assignment and could fuck off most weeks as long as I got my pages done for year book. Best part was I had the dance section as the bulk of my pages. I would go to a dance hammered and take probably 20 minutes of pictures and then leave. My last year of high school consisted of about 4 hours of work a week.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Go on...
Perforatedscrotum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So what would you have normally done if you hadn't signed yourself out? My highschool always made sure you had every block filled
dongsy-normus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is nothing like a senior year made of half days. I miss that.
DisRuptive1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a breakdown in my senior year of high school and was able to get my schedule changed so I only had 2 classes (Senior's History and Senior's English).
creepy_doll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What the actual fuck? 2 classes a day?
I(not American) had something like 38 45 minute classes a week.
Dasbaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same issue, only I had Emergency Service privlages for being a Fire/EMS officer for my fire company. I would show up around 8ish, wander into a class, make the beeper go off, and I would leave. This would be repeated at least twice per week, and noone cared.
Toward the end of the year, I just didn't show up. I took the tests (I took the easist classes including 2 home economic classes) passed them, and never had to really work.
Much lazy, much fun, such awesome.
Megkal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know for my school even if you didn't have any classes after 11(they then scheduled you 'study halls' sometimes back to back) you still had to stay til school got out at 2:30 so that may be what he means.
Quest4life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We started at 8:00 and didn't get out until 4:00 though
no_sleep_for_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How does that even work?? I have block schedule, but even with double early release you'd still have to miss a class by leaving at 11...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
what kind of high only has 4 classes for seniors? it is not college there is shit to learn that you dont have a choice about learning.
enjoytheshow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:00:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what senior year is all about: coming up with the best ways to not go to class that also takes the least amount of effort.
BionicBeans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:04:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Excused absences after 11am every day? No, never have to go to class ever.
quedfoot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:17:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Quite often seniors only need a few credits to graduate in their final year. For myself, I had every credit except for my final English/literature point, I could have opted out and worked after going to school for an hour (but I never did). I'm assuming that /u/chupa_mis_huevos (great name) 's school just applied that plan to him.
:S I think, I'm probably confused and wrong though. I need sleep, bye.
Chupa_Mis_Huevos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:50:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
spot on, my unecessary classes were in the afternoon. I only needed Trigonometry and Writing class to graduate
babyshanks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this guy..
libardo667 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That... That's the point.
PunkRockMcLovin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My high school (which also had the OJT program) had longer class hours so we only had 4 classes a day. Instead of semesters, we would have quarters. [5]
Chupa_Mis_Huevos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did, but the classes I needed to graduate were in the morning. I missed architecture, english lit., and Team sports(most people just walked around the gym and talked to their buddies)
i_floop_the_pig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He rules the schoolyard. Finding trouble but never looking too hard.
ArcaniteMagician ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Miss u bby
biggles20 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:57:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes... yes they did.
RadDudeGuyDude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:30:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like they were the lazy ones here
jyveturkie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:12:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, that's just not wanting to be at school.
TyrannyOfBobBarker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least you did your hours. I got 12 hours an at the end the charge would be removed from my record. Didn't do it. Didn't go to court to explain why. Warrant and charges on my record. God damnit I hate myself.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should feel bad, I got 40 hours of community service for 3 felonies
neilson241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a testament to the school system if you can miss four hours of school every day and still graduate.
ohgodthezombies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's more irresponsible than lazy
aveces_no ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
best user name ever.
Chupa_Mis_Huevos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sometimes, it isn't
seabeehusband ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Due to chonic UC during high school I basically had a note from the Dr. stating I could be excused from the school at anytime because I had so many flare ups. I would leave about 11 as well and I would get different friends to "drive me home" and they were basically excused for the day. I got so popular around 14. Last three classes were lunch, choir, and band. I think I missed an average of about 200 days a year. I figured if you got a problem you should at least use it.
butrosbutrosfunky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I never rocked up to my first phys ed class, so the teacher evidently thought it was a clerical error that put me on the class list, seeing as I never went to any subsequent ones are either.
Extra free period, plus no more tiny shorts.
ArtifexArcher ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 07:16:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats like winning a million dollars but not wanting to drive down the street to pick it up.
a_series_of_excuses ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:24:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Even worse, the guy (or girl) worked for the first half by convincing the teacher to let the ebay thing count, and still didn't follow through.
hellawag3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:14:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude... how can you fail yourself? Like seriously. That was probably 2 minutes for an easy A.
EarnMoneySitting ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:43:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't happen to be Elvis Dumervil's agent, would you?
mellowmonk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why did you bother writing that comment, then?
copiestopresponse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:24:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't. That would take effort.
Copy and paste.
dxinteractive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:43:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You know, this is absolutely brilliant.
Aikidi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That ending had me in stitches.
neon93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great story I have to admit
moshe1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:00:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i did something similar. We called it "job site" at my highschool. My older brother works at a company thats a block down from my house. (a 2 minute drive) The company is armenian owned, and i'm also armenian, so its a connection. (armenian community is very connected) Anyway, i was able to "job site" at my brothers place... which basically meant i got 3 hours of freetime, twice a week. I took naps... played league.. etc.
Euphya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:58:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I failed gym class in my freshman year of college because I was too lazy to take the 20 seconds to go online and drop the class.
wavewave1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You had one job...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:51:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's lazy, lazier and then there's /u/copiestopresponse
MIDItroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me you're from Iowa.
That could totally have happened with my OJT teacher.
copiestopresponse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not from Iowa.
Dracnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can't tell if original story, or copy pasta...
copiestopresponse ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:10:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't trust someone with a name like /u/copiestopresponse to come up with original content, then who can you trust?
FisherKing22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, at least you're honest about it. I think I had a novelty account with a similar theme at one point, but I lost motivation to do anything with it.
Reusing_Top_Comments ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:36:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Found it!
copiestopresponse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:40:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I'll keep this up too long. I was really just curious how much karma would could get from taking advantage of repetitiveness on /r/askreddit and if anyone would notice the copying. So far, my conclusion is that most people will not notice that I'm copying even when I very strongly hint at what I'm doing... although things did get awkward when I was noticed by the individual who actually wrote something I reposted.
FisherKing22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:05:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When the karma-shit hit the fan about a year ago, people found out that a bunch of the top users (/u/trapped_in_reddit specifically) were doing just that, albeit, not quite so obviously.
historicusXIII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are actually so lazy you don't even bother to come up with your own lazy story and copies someone else's lazy story.
i_make_snow_flakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I won't blame you, I hate filling forms..!
ironicallysad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's lazy, aaaand there's you. I'm impressed.
emdem55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So you were given a golden ticket and you shat on it?
Rickordoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha no fucking way man.....
fakeplasticsnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is this the origin story of Taco Corp?
Fenrirr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did the exact same thing for Work Experience, though I guess I was actually working as a writer so it counts. Glad I didn't have to do volunteer hours to since I occasionally (very, very) instructed a class for warming up exercises over the last 6 years.
suoarski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The unemployment rate is so high, because it's too much paperwork to hire someone.
PunkRockMcLovin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had that at my high school too. That shit was awesome. I got paid to earn weed money.
Dwychwder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You get it.
BobSwagit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad owns his own company, so I got OJT and told the teacher I worked for him. I would fill out all the employee evaluation and hour sheets an just have my dad sign them.
hopsinduo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Let me guess. The old, 'Meh, I'll get that filled in 2morro.' job eh?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ. I commend you on that one
forrext ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did you go to HHHS?
shano1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Alright everyone, pack it up. This is it, this is the guy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit man.
whereistyler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Corporation is a strong word, I thought she would have seen the wool around her eyes as soon as you mentioned it!
lusiada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
im in this precise moment in that type of class, taking "history of industry"(yay!) and look at what i am doing, reddit.. btw from 1 to 20 my average it's 16.
crisk21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a class similar to that my freshman year. My mom let me tell the teacher I was working for one of her employees but in reality I just stayed home. It was glorious. My mom is awesome.
EvilTwin_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I got so angry reading this and I don't know why.
honi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm legit sorry for you. Why? Did you just half baked the plan and just not care?
cottoncandysex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm so sorry but I'm laughing so hard at your expense because that seems like something I would do
xXBestXx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can relate
GeoffC93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pack it up, this thread is done LOL.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just got stoned during those. We ended at a similar conclusion.
tamati_nz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't do your TPS report uh-huh?
richalex2010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did you at least try to argue that it wasn't your fault that your deadbeat boss didn't fill out the paperwork?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow your boss was a lazy cunt
Shinzon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You had one job!
nihiriju ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I also did this in high school, however for mine I made ski movies. It was awesome.
efhs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So close to genius!
johnny_gunn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That makes you an idiot, not lazy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/u/copiestopresponse strikes again!
faqu02x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
BHS by chance?
grantsawillson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would give you gold by i'm to lazy
done_holding_back ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is it possible that you recognized the shady nature of the arrangement and, as nice as it was for you, you felt uneasy about filling out the paperwork to finalize it? I know that I often times encounter bouts of "laziness" but ultimately there's a psychological block causing it.
BigPaul1e ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We had a similar class called "OWA", which supposedly stood for "Occupational Work Adjustment". Seeing as how those kids never did anything but screw off all day, everyone said it meant "Out Walkin' Around".
senilelunatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This and the kitty litter guy. You guys win. oh, wait...
I used to piss my bed alot when i was young. It happened so often that if i woke up in time to use the bathroom i would just piss in the bed and go back to sleep in my own urine. I figured why bother getting it right once or twice a week.
Maybe i win.
iiztrollin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i did the same thing except I convinced my teacher i made enough money from streaming and helping my grandparents that i didnt need a job. Best year of my life, go home after 3 hours of school 7-11 and play games till 2am or go to hockey; repeat every day.
AJam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
and you've been self-employed ever since, right? ...right?
npav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
btw, OJT = Orange Juice Tacos.
Just sayin'
Radioactivetire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually did something similar, but had another student work as my "secretary" and do all the paperwork.
MRX009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You dumb motherfucker.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This made me so mad because it sounds like something I would do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually very common. The high school I went to had the same program called paid-learning. You were allowed to take time off school if you had a job but you had to fill out a form every week. Before I even started I was informed by the instructor that hardly anyone ever passes the class for this exact reason, I was no exception.
mikedabossss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's just being a dumbass.
toaster13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You win.
fetalbeej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not a lazy story, but somewhat relatable, I think. I was a junior class officer in high school and we had a whole class period dedicated to planning events throughout the year, but most importantly prom. The faculty that was over us despised us guys, never listening to our ideas and was just plain rude while being extra special to the girls. We would just take the keys to the computer lab that she had and proceeded to play roms, worms and quake all year (while getting a grade), while the girls planned for prom. The teacher didn't mind it because it got us out of her hair. The end of the year prom came around and we had to set up the day before and day of. Us guys, once again, just ran around and goofed off all day. One of the girls, though, told our teacher how she wasn't able to make it Saturday because she had already signed up for the SAT. The teacher got mad and said if she didn't come she would give her a C for the class. Of course, the girl took her SAT and got a C in the class the last grading period. I made all A's in that class playing computer games. I enjoyed being a junior class officer.
VeryLittle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You've told this story the last time this question was asked. I've been on reddit too long.
copiestopresponse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actually it was this guy.
CaptainIndustry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're not alone. We had a class called Career Passport every senior had to take. It was quite easy and most people received high A's. One kid however needed to pass this class to graduate. On the final project, he didn't put his name on his paper and the teacher took off 5 points for that. Apparently this brought his grade down below a 59.5%, failing him from the class and to this day he has not gotten his GED 8 years later.
db8508 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
WINNER
Z3ppelinDude93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We have a fucking winner
Yoyododo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am sadly doing the exact same thing right now. I do 1.5 hours of work experience every school day and have yet to fill out any of the paperwork. Fuck me.
THEIRONGIANTTT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My hero
bobmuluga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ours was called "Work Release." You just had to get paperwork signed off by your employer. The place I worked at agreed but said that I didn't need to come in to work unless needed since there was a schedule and all. I would leave school go golf, play video games, or take a nap. My senior year was the laziest thing I have ever done. Think I had like 4 art classes and 4 gym classes that year too.
DokomoS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, your employee (you) failed to remember to do the paperwork, so he wasn't a great employee at all.
havinahawkattack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Man that's what interns are for.
WatNxt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did something similar. An exam was in two parts and I already got my result for the 1st one, so I knew exactly how much I needed to pass. I was so tired after a long exam session and wanted to get it over with. The day of the second exam in steel design, I answered just the right amount of questions to get the points and walked out way earlier than everyone. I actually got them right, but got the average wrong. I actually needed one more point. Failed.
shane727 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad people like you exist it makes me feel better about myself. I would've done this too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the zombie eating a bagel above was lazy, but you are the laziest guy ever. (Or girl)
MrSimmix01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Motherfu...that is LAZY!
en2ropy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What makes this extra lazy is that you've copied this from a previous thread with the same question: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ekjwl/whats_the_laziest_thing_youve_ever_done/
copiestopresponse ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:29:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't trust someone named /u/copiestopresponse to come up original content, who can you trust?
en2ropy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The government?
dhardison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took this course this as well. We were required to attain a certain number of work hours in order to pass the course. This was verified by our pay stubs. I worked my ass off the first few months of school, then quit that job and took one working 3 to 4 hours a day only on the weekends. Left school everyday around 11:30 after taking my required classes. Mostly went home and watched tv/slept.
Hiyasc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:14 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This comment was funny to read, but hysterical to think about.
joeyparis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:07 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated 6 months early and "hired" a classmate as a "community admin" for the forums I ran. Never did anything but he filled out the paperwork and passed his OJT class. Of course I could've found work for him if we really needed to but we enjoyed gaming the education system line that. :p
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:37 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
like a boss
pottymouthgrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:46 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Copy pasta if I ever did see one
Fi_Bentley ยท 2535 points ยท Posted at 03:00:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate in college went home for a three day weekend, and I stayed in bed the entire time. I got up twice to pee, and brought four bags of sour cream & onion potato chips to bed with me. She walked in on Monday at 9pm, laughed so hard she cried, and forced me to get in the shower.
coahman ยท 1911 points ยท Posted at 04:57:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You peed twice in three days? That sounds really unhealthy
[deleted] ยท 1612 points ยท Posted at 05:24:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KittyGuts ยท 2264 points ยท Posted at 05:56:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good think she is a girl so she doesn't have to poop.
tikitessie ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 06:17:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've not pooped in three days and beyond. Troubled pooper. :(
KittyGuts ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 06:29:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Go eat chipotle. You're welcome.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:33:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Chipotle has a lot of fiber. It always has the opposite effect on me.
Aikidi ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 07:35:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not how fiber is supposed to work.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:47:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fiber is suppose to strengthen poop and make digestion much easier. I said that chipotle actually fixes any upset stomach that I might feel instead of giving me diarrhea or something. It is carbs you want to avoid when dealing with diarrhea.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:53:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is completely backwards. I have ibs so I'm used to dealing with diarrhea. You need plain carbs, - white bread, white rice, and bananas. Don't touch insoluble fiber like beans for a few days.
Muffinut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:04:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What? Since when are carbs better than fiber for not having liquid butt, and why have I not heard this before?
c0ck_bl0ck ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:27:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fiber is good for keeping you regular. Too much fiber and not enough water will make you constipated. If you have diarrhea for whatever reason, you stick to plain foods like the BRAT diet, no fiber or beans as they will irritate your gut further.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:34:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You need soluble fiber which is found in carbs like white bread, white rice, bananas and potatoes. Insoluble fiber, like beans, bran and vegetable skins will make it worse.
The usual mantra is the BRAT diet: bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast.
ohmygod_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
teeheee
Muffinut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, Mom!
MasterOfPuppetsX ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:21:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That means your body is running at 100% efficiency.
flantaclause ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:38:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've pooped 3 times since midnight....(its almost 4am now)
froggym ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:42:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It just took me 5 days to poop after getting my appendix out. That was a sweet pain.
SonOfALich ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:19:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 8 or so, I pooped in 2 week intervals.
To put that into perspective, I pooped less than 60 times over the course of a couple of years.
blackAngel88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:20 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well. shit.
And i thought my pause of 1 week between pooping was long... well, not a week anymore anyways...
Ozercc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:46 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Full of shit
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:35:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you're meant to shit six times a day!
CovingtonLane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Proof?
0ButtChugging0 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:48:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
depends how pretty she is
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:13:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's good to know girls do these things too.
brickfacecupboard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what the bucket's for.
itsnevermillertime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ya....good think.
WaltHWhite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fact.
svenson_26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL.
jackskidney ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 09:09:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dont say "girl" and "poop" in the same sentence.
darkcyril ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:07:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why else force her into the shower?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:11:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mean unhealthy behavior or the indication of a problem? It is unhealthy to do, but it'd be reasonably normal if you weren't taking in any liquids.
coahman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:08:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're right, I definitely meant an indication of a problem. Taking in such little amounts of liquids would be hard on your body it seems, even without much physical activity.
Grayphobia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:35:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you're not drinking and eating nothing but crisps the entire time it's not that surprising.
miken1ke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:28:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What do you think the empty chip bags were for?
Patel347 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No when she got up she stayed there till he needed to go back
Studmuffin188 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She had the chip bags of course
sirpurplecupcake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:55:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, sometimes I won't use the bathroom almost the whole day.
NotAwakeYet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sour cream and onion chips don't contain a lot of liquid so the need to pee is diminished. Also, laziness allows you to hold it better than you could imagine.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:16:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's will power and dedication son!
PattF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I was thinking, sounds like a UTI in the making.
mkhockeygeek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:48:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention only eating chips..
wwepersonell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:53:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who lives solely on potato chips for an entire weekend is bound to be really unhealthy
Fi_Bentley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I said it was the laziest thing I've ever done, not that it was a common occurrence. I'm actually pretty healthy most of the time.
forrext ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not a lot of liquids for the body.
FloobLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, she didn't get up to drink water, so it's probably good she wasn't peeing a bunch!
Davellomon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think you are sweating out the most of it
ico2ico2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been telling everyone for years: CHAMBERPOTS ARE THE SHIT! Or if you're a student you can just use a coke bottle (or coke bottle + shewee if you're a girl, or two coke bottles and a pair of scissors if you're too lazy to go and buy a shewee)
Steviebee123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A couple of months ago, I took an eleven-and-a-half hour flight. The Japanese girl seated next to me didn't pee once for the entire duration of the flight. (I peed about a dozen times.)
Lobsert ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The guy stays in bed for three days sustains themselves in sour cream chips and you think him not peeing enough is a problem...
[deleted] ยท 543 points ยท Posted at 06:26:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is making me feel a little better about my life choices
Rangi42 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:04:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And a little envious of others' life choices.
Toaster_In_Bathtub ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:12:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like a fucking superhero right now.
Fi_Bentley ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:37:49 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Glad I could help.
made_me_laugh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you kidding me? I feel like fuckin superman just reading all of these stories
bwfixit ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:58:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You only peed twice in three days.
Rangi42 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:04:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She only ate four bags of chips in those three days.
Threethumb ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:47:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
4 bags of potato chips and no water... twice sounds plausible to me!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:43:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Twice almost sounds a lot to me
nothing_clever ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:13:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should try dipping sour cream and onion potato chips in sour cream
Batatata ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:56:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That;s hilarious. Sour Cream and Onion flavored chips seem the most suitable for that kind of situation as well.
jbuckets89 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:44:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like depression
compto35 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:28:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My kinda gal
azzazzin123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:48:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair sour cream and onion are fucking awesome! I hope you got lays!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:54:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, I would have half gallon iced tea bottles that I would use to pee in so I didn't have to get up. I think I also used them when playing CounterStrike.
MeatShots ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How big were the bags? Like the giant family-sized ones that could feed an African village?
Chamros ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like we could be good friends.
Real-Terminal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:03 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love Sour Cream and Onion chips, Smiths I take it?
MarySwanson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gross.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone else still waiting for the lazy part?
SamCropper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you related to Charlie Bucket?
craznazn247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
All that dehydration from the chips kinda limits how much water your body has to get rid of...
MrFugums ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 09:17:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're gonna die.
OP pls respond for proof of not dead.
shitakefunshrooms ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
with her?
score
hardshell1919 ยท 2182 points ยท Posted at 02:59:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when I was in college I ordered pizza for delivery because I wanted cigarettes and asked if there was a driver there that would pick me up some cigs for an extra $10 on top of his normal tip. we had a circle k next door to my apartment complex I could see from my window. the cigs cost me $33.
alexandruh ยท 1143 points ยท Posted at 04:20:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This reminded me of a time when I ordered a cab to get cigarettes. It had just snowed and I hadn't shoveled the snow off my car yet. There's this gas station about 3 blocks away but I was too lazy and cold to walk. So I ordered a cab to drive me to the gas station and wait and then bring me home. He looked at me like I was nuts.
[deleted] ยท 280 points ยท Posted at 07:04:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a cab office, late at night we often get people ringing up to ask if the driver can just pick them up a pack and deliver them to them.
[deleted] ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 08:04:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you?
[deleted] ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 08:06:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. We're not a delivery service. We do however pick people up, take them to the shop for the cigarettes, then bring them back.
devilwarriors ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 09:31:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you're missing on a great business opportunity I'm sure. Many peoples got rich over the laziness of some people.
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 10:01:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mm, to be honest if I were a driver I wouldn't mind doing it, but there are too many logistics involved, like ID'ing the people who want the smokes, do you charge extra for the pickup rather than just the price of the journey, etc.
Starkravingmad7 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 11:11:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Easy. Charge twice your regular metered rate from the store to the house, tack on the cost of the item(s) and swipe for ID! If they don't have ID you still charge them full price for wasting your goddamned time and then kick them down the stairs.
steelcap77 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:09:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or, just keep 2 cartons in the cab. 1 regular, 1 menthol. Sell them for $10 a pack.
Starkravingmad7 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:52:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's nyc, because at that price I would be calling the cabbie every day.
Quajek ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:13:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And the cabbie would get arrested for selling cigarettes illegally.
titos334 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:55:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why you don't own your own business
thelastdeskontheleft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck with that.
ohmygod_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:09:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
relevant username
faaarmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They'd be making more off the return trip of the taxi
Fantlol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, like a taxi service.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:30:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
there is a business model in that. if you're not going to do it then i will. thanks for all the money, sucker.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Where are you from?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:58:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have to try this...
Shitty_Human_Being ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What if I'm going a direction that's from the store? Would you pick it up before driving me there?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure, probably not.
seahorses4lyfe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I almost called a cab the other day because my car wouldn't start and there was no one around to offer me a jump. Have you ever gotten that request/would you send someone?
twist3dl0gic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But I'm willing to pay you the same amount, I just don't want to have to sit there awkwardly with you or put on pants.
scubasue ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:12:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You could probably charge $10 extra to do the pickup and let the customer stay warm at home. Smokers are not good at short-term budgeting.
Spit_on_me ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:20:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Charge them 1/2 fare and a $5-10 delivery fee.
ArmchairActivist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:43:47 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Idiot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:03 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You realise I don't run the company, right? I answer the phone for a living. I couldn't give a shit about what the drivers choose to do for money or not.
ArmchairActivist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:16:34 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You realize you wrote "we're", and from your uneducated writing it's clear you just answer the phones. Congrats.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:32 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, "we're", the contraction for "we are". You hilarious cunt.
Rionoko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:05:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I need to know this.
elastic-craptastic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:32:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some cab companies will for a delivery charge.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:52:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only time I rang a cab company for cigs the controller thought I was joking at first, but they did it when I convinced him I was serious (I was surprised at the time that they didn't get requests like that all the time)
Xiao44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We NEED an answer!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:51 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
poopoomoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:39 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Also, alcohol delivery has crossed my mind as a business opportunity, especially helpful if you've already has a couple of drinks and you shouldn't be driving to get more!
ReallyCoolNickname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like there's an opportunity to start a cigarette delivery business.
roughs0ul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I see a Business Opportunity here.
Mangled_Apathy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well... Do you?
Patel347 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bet if you advertised that you would be rich too bad you can't advertise cigs
SamCropper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
... And do you deliver?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some cities offer this service now, via postmates. They just pick up whatever you want and deliver it. Awesome.
findgretta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:27 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I work at 7-11 and the cab drivers are routinely on a run to pick up slurpees and whatnot from us. It just astounds me.
elastic-craptastic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:31:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The cab company I used would just charge a 4 dollar delivery fee. I would call at 5am to get smokes and more beer. We'd tip the driver extra so he would come by faster next time. I believe he was tipped in cocaine a few nights as well.
Moving to a vacation town was too much fun for a while.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:38:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
how much was the cab fare?
alexandruh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
About twenty bucks after tip.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that is nuts
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:56:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Uh oh I'm on my phone I can't edit :(
kingebeneezer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:54:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We're going on an adventure!
acetominaphin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't laugh at this :(
kingebeneezer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Blah blah you cant have different opinions than me bullshit. More bullshit
It's ok. Although I was in tears when I first watched Kyle's "whiskey icarus" special. But you can't force funny on someone. Maybe you'd like his other jokes in that special.
Liefx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Where I live you can call a cab to pick anything up, cigs, McDonalds, etc, and they start the meter after they get the goods.
pluid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One night when i was out drinking, I took a cab from one side of the road to the other. it cost me $11...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Like you were nuts? You are nuts.
scooter_nz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I too have done this, I smoked one and passed out. At least I didn't have to go out in the morning.
Halo3_hex3Edec62_4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I called a cab to take a textbook back to my buddy that I was too lazy to return. Never used the damn thing either...
LaserBeamHorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not really that lazy, but once I was drinking at my friend's "summer house" that was next to their actual house. It didn't have a toilet so we had to go to their house to do our business. When it was 3AM I needed to poop so bad but I didn't dare to go inside their house because my friend's parents were sleeping and I was so drunk I would definitely make a noise. So I decided to take a cab home, tell the driver to wait for me, take a dump and then go back to my friends place. The driver had to wait me for 30 minutes and he was sure that I wasn't coming back. That dump cost me almost 50 euros.
_vOv_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
hahaha dem peasants!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:16:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair he probably spent more in gas money getting to your house than he made in cab fare driving you. I hope you gave him a decent tip.
alexandruh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The cab service was located about a block away from my house.
SchpartyOn ยท 409 points ยท Posted at 05:11:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sooo the regular price?
[deleted] ยท 1317 points ยท Posted at 06:56:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cigarettes actually save money overall because you die sooner, thereby saving much money.
Wrang-Wrang ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 07:11:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
/r/frugal_jerk
yasth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/Frugal_Jerk is the real one
Wrang-Wrang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit I knew that didn't look right. Thanks.
ThatFag ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:23:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/ShittyLifeProTips
Tezerel ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:12:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Saving money on Health Insurace, thanks Obama!
..No seriously, thanks smokes up
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Geico.
i-think-youre-pretty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you're going there...no it wouldn't save money because saving money means accumulating it. By ending your life early, it would save no more money than if one merely bought cigs and didn't smoke.
Kirisakima ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:02:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
a. To avoid spending (money) so as to keep or accumulate it. b. To avoid spending (money or time) in an amount less than what circumstances normally require
According to dictionary.com. Both definitions work, just depends on whether you value your life or money more.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What about all the chemo?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you bother with the chemo?
three_pac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:55:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/lifehack
ChineseEntrepreneur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:08:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if /r/frugaljerk or /r/personalfinance advice
zeppin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:38:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Logic to live by, or not
SirACG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:47:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's awfully macabre, yet frugal.
Leviathan666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:01:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But then you don't have as much time to work and save money and inherit money from dead relatives.
Synchronizing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:15:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Flawless logic.
Lutterbeck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:25:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you don't go to the hospital when the side effects kick in.
Juslotting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:08:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to kill myself so I can get a huge life insurance claim.
Ooumbop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Such frugal many savings
RaveCave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you'd be dumb NOT to smoke them.
iLarsNL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, when you think about it it's basically a very good investment.
AJs_Sandshrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Flawless logic
PsyNami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's some messed up math.
drunkenviking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/shittyaskeconomists
buttertost ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:33:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Such savings.
PretendPhD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wow
jakenicol4 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:36:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sooo they were on sale.
BiffSkiffer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:00:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn a pack of cigarettes in my country is only like... 2 dollars
SchpartyOn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an American who does not smoke. I don't actually know the price of cigarettes here, I think they're actually around 6 dollars. I was just being a smartass.
3R1CtheBR0WN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They are usually closer to 8 dollars
warchitect ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:27:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
cost of pizza + cost of cigs + 10 dollar tip = 33...I guess?
Wrang-Wrang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always like to compare cigarette costs. Where I live in California its around 5-8 dollars a pack but I always read that other places they can be outrageously overpriced due to taxes.
SpanxTheMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
try canada
red_sky33 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:07:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You, clearly, have never been to Missouri.
auslicker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing Australia.
maxwellmaxen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:48:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i know of a dude that missed his last bus home, but the pizza place was still open. so he ordered a delivery by phone, walked in and asked for a ride.. since a car would drive to his place anyways he was able to get home with a warm pizza. for half the price a cab would have been, but with a fresh and warm pizza.
jyveturkie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:18:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But came with a free pizza.
MeAndMyMoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always order from this sandwich place that's literally right down the street. I always do delivery because God forbid I gotta drive there and pick it up.
Calsmokes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:24:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yes and they came with pizza
Sonendo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:01:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a pizza place that was also the party store. We delivered EVERYTHING.
I've delivered all the normal food, beer, cigarettes, and even once I delivered toilet paper and pepto bismol.
ioncehadsexinapool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
is it just me or does it seem like there are only circle k's in college areas?
ZarquonsFlatTire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once ordered a pizza for a jump start.
Tripleshadow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:06:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually kind of smart.
ZarquonsFlatTire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was house sitting for my parents, all my friends lived at least 45 minutes away and I didn't want to meet their neighbors. I had cables and tipped $10 extra.
Also when I ordered I had them warn the driver I'd need a jump, I had cables, and there was extra money in it. Because I didn't want to walk next door a few hundred feet.
prosebefohoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wanted a sandwich but was outside the delivery zone so I called a pizza shop half way between and ordered a pizza, then had the sandwich shop deliver it to the pizza place. Was like a $25 sandwich all up, and I had my own car in the driveway the whole time.
riskybusinesscdc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not a smoker, but I have ordered a pizza before purely because I was out of soda...
iansharam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A few weeks ago I ordered chips and a hot dog to be delivered to my house from the take away shop about 300 metres away. It cost me $8.
Thachiefs4lyf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
$33 so you got them cheaper than usual, by reading it I kinda think I read it as a bad thing at $33 for a pack
trex707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My brother does this every time. He usually makes them get beer. He tips them really well though. Once he did this and also pulled the girls number taking his order over the phone.
He got a phone number from what turned out to be a cute girl, got a 12 pack of IPA, and a Wombo Combo from Round Table for like $50 and an 1/8 of weed lol
DisRuptive1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a beer commercial where some drunk dudes ordered to have a pizza delivered to their house then asked for a ride to their house from the pizza dude.
nomnamless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of when I had not Mtn Dew in the house but I wanted one. So I ordered a pizza and a 20oz Dew.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy. That's just called being terrible with money.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did this for a carton of beer with a pizza delivery guy. First guy chickened out so we had to order another pizza.
dirtyewok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When i was in school there was a pizza place that actually sold cigarettes at a premium for delivery (pretty much a 100% markup) and you had to order food with them, it was a 4 minute walk from the front door of the dorm.
It was completely common for people on my floor to yell down the hallway that they were ordering from the pizza place. People would then flock to the that room and give their order for cigarettes. You would then place the order....
"yeah uh, i need 1 small calzone, 27 packs of Marlborough lights and 12 packs of Parliments"
"Quick question do you guys accept redeemable cans for payment?"
"No. ok hold on a second"
"Ok then, i need 1 small calzone, 25 packs of Marlborough Lights and 10 packs of Parliments."
"30-45 minutes" - groans from ten people followed by "45 minutes?, fuck i should have just walked over."
savekat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my friend. We had a train station about 15 minutes from our college but you had to walk through the center of town to get there. My friend was taking the train back to school one night and was too tired to walk home so she walked to the pizza shop instead. She ordered a pizza for delivery to her dorm and hitched a ride with the delivery guy.
bewwwl_shmokin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I buy weed just so my dealer will bring me cigs for 10 bucks
doodlebug001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a time I was at a pizza place and needed a ride to my hotel. I was highly considering (though ultimately didn't follow through) talking to the cashier, ordering delivery to my destination and offering the delivery guy a nice tip if he took me there. I'm willing to bet there are rules against this though. Does anyone know?
CaptainIndustry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Campus I lived on delivered everything, no minimum or delivery charge. Cigs, beer, liquor, candy, munchies.
Majimanidoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ordered pizza delivery one night when I was drunk at a pizza restaurant. When the driver went to leave with my pizza I informed him there would be nobody at the house to pay unless he gave me a ride.
I gave a nice tip that day.
metasquared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I also watched someone do this in college. It took a good 5 minutes of deliberating with the driver but he got his cigs.
MAtoDC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A buddy of mine didn't want to walk home or pay for an expensive cab, so he ordered a pizza for delivery inside the Dominoes so he could get a ride home.
Jeffsofast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We had a service that picked up cigs, beer and whatever else at the gas station for you. Texas State
blitzbom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I delivered pizza, people did this all the time.
I've bought, beer, smokes, vodka and milk (the guy ordered cookies).
One time I drove a guy to circle k and back. It was easy money and a fun story.
david531990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just รณrdered sushi yesterday for the exact same reason
westish13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My brother worked at a pizza place and we were meant to pick him up at like 11pm but we were all too lazy to - so we ordered a pizza and got the driver to deliver my bro home too.
Oc3anblu3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you live in Louisiana? Because I'm pretty sure I was that driver!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:21 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty frequent request. That and beer.
Walletau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:02 on January 31, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
pack of cigs in Australia costs about that.
dizzysd1605 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:35 on March 18, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
In my neighborhood, we have a liquor store that has an Italian restaurant attached. If you order food, they will deliver anything else they sell in the store. So last week we ordered a pizza because we ran out of beer. It's pretty sweet!
Hojimachong ยท 3327 points ยท Posted at 03:19:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
TV remote was ~2 feet out of reach, so I downloaded the remote control app instead.
EDIT: my particular cable provider has an app that works with their cable box, so it was their proprietary app.
TerranceArchibald ยท 1536 points ยท Posted at 05:08:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Been there myself. Now I wonder what I'd do if my smartphone were out of reach.
Wzup ยท 1954 points ยท Posted at 05:35:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Download girlfriend app.
gumpythegreat ยท 3337 points ยท Posted at 06:02:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nah too many microtransactions
Jon76 ยท 1323 points ยท Posted at 07:08:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ain't nothing "micro" about those transactions.
lusiada ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:50:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
amen brotha.
Jackson17 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:08:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be surprised
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:22:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Jackson17 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:30:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Surprise: http://i.imgur.com/jlGWLEG.jpg (nsfw)
YouPickMyName ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:00:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well... that was, um... surprising...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:01:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
is...is that...real?
amijinxed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:21:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
as real as monkey hitman...
babytank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't trust you.... Clicked the link anyway.... Shouldn't have trusted you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:19:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just your penis
mysixthsense ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:50:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what she was telling us...
simboisland ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:58:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Heyyyyyooooooo
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Heyoooo!
Meliorus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There never is!
callumacrae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's definitely something micro about /u/gumpythegreat's transaction.
PoisonousPlatypus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:11:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing that's "micro" is you!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:28:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
r dick
holybrohunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not with that attitude
psinguine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn pay to win games.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:35:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
except for the tiny deposits he makes inside her
AshAidan ยท 717 points ยท Posted at 06:50:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Worse than EA
M4TTT ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 07:36:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
whoa whoa easy fella.
xTerraH ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:08:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
tell that to EA
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:08:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Literally Hitler.
babyface_killah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:47:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
EA fucks me more than my girlfriend.
lusiada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Impossible.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Heyoo
Nothing2doHere123456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You need one (1) more "." You can purchase more for $5.49.
sarcasticmrfox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
GF stops fucking you when you die.
TheTallRussian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing is worse than those satanic fucks
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:23:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Ranga93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:31 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think people understood your satire.
Xenthar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:10:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Turn 10
shmameron ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 06:46:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Plus all the shitty DLC. "Christmas Shopping"? "Chick Flicks"? What the fuck were the developers thinking?
Bond4141 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/outside is leaking again...
KingCaspianX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
These developers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMU0tzLwhbE&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DKMU0tzLwhbE
?
the_fatal_cure ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:27:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just make sure not to install the Baby Expansion. It's nothing but micro transactions.
/r/outside
allanbc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:10:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Micro, eh. Diamonds say otherwise.
smallpoly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:29:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's the "I am rich" app all over again.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:17:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
EA at it again
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:34:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
comes with crazy, too.
MetaDefault ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:37:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In app purchases.
kolachesgalore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:11:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe for you
Mein_Tarnaccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The cheapest app tends to be the one you pay for.
flying-sheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You know you don't have to buy them? And you can also get the not-a-bitch version which doesn't bother you with then at all.
CrayolaS7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If only they were micro :/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Boooom hellloo
irrational_abbztract ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You mean macro?
Wzup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The GUI is great, but the CPU and BIOS is a real bitch to work with.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
what do i do to skip all the dialog?
Usteldu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:27:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you buying your dick?
Mr_Kips ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 06:59:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Come on people. This deserves way more up votes.
thehaga ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:02:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy.
biggles20 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:58:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Make sure you enable pop up blocker though, the constant interruptions can get extremely irritating. Similar problems have been found with the mother app.
pikls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, not compatible with my OS.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just browsed the app store looking for a girlfriend app, it's kind of sad how many there are.
_vOv_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Download to where?? The smartphone is out of reach.
DoYouEvenUpVote ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You be quiet with your logic
keepitgangster ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:42:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
work on your telepathy
The_lonly_one ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The world would explode, or you would fart. One or the other
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Program your remote to... well shit.
spicywafflez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Smartphone is never far
AllurbaseRbelongToME ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Die obviously. You wouldn't be getting enough from your phone's oxygen app if it's more than an arms-length away.
MickeyMousesLawyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what the cyanide pill is for.
Chickendipper69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait to die.
zookoala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That would never happen
Schumarker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's never out of reach.
munchies1122 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Die.
[deleted] ยท 469 points ยท Posted at 05:32:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't be bothered replacing the batteries in my wireless mouse, so I downloaded a mouse app for my phone. That was two months ago. I still haven't changed those batteries.
glooozo ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:39:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thankyou for alerting me if this glorious app! Never again shall i use a mouse!
dontcallmeahero ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 06:24:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I had no idea that was a thing. So that is naturally how I am writing this comment now...
Edit:a word. And apparently this app has its flaws...
BEAR_DICK_PUNCH ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 07:14:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:13:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey man I dont really just how you underget it.
LesEnfantsTerribles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:05:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He soon realized that he had no idea about writing coherent sentences too..
laccro ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:52:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OF COURSE YOU'RE CONFUSED, BEAR_DICK_PUNCH
iRedditWhilePooping ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:02:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
now i can recline in my chair and never lean forward again
Delta25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:49:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
English hard?
the_nature ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:10:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How could you install the server program on your PC without a mouse? Busted!!
gametap ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:25:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mouse keys
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I also have two VNC apps.
Tyrone91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have one of those. It's nice for when I don't need my mouse(I don't use it much outside of for gaming) but I have the computer connected to the TV.
Romtoc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My laptop's touchpad is broken. Thanks!
Hygrocybe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is that really a thing!?
HeavyIndica ยท 306 points ยท Posted at 06:16:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait wait wait....Remote control app?
Naked-Viking ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:03:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a Panasonic smart TV and they have a remote control app. Works via WiFi.
They can also be used to fuck with whoever is watching TV while in another room.
Andhareall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:43:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I read wifi as weefee. It's too early for this shit.
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 06:56:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:17:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:43:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Silent-G ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the tvs would be using different IR sequences, so you'd have to turn them off by make and model.
PsychedelicSonichu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:35:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whaaaaaaatttt! Sweeet
IndifferentAnarchist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:25:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, IR is a thing in phones again? Many of them used to have it, then it seemingly disappeared.
unenome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Awww yisss
dylan522p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
LG G2 too.
phill0406 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
LG G2 chiming in, mine also has it. Works fantastic for those nights getting into bed where I can't find the TV remote.
ihateslowdrivers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have an S4 and use this app. Love it.
Panguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And it's fucking wonderful. I can control my dumb TV, my Roku, and to a small extent my XBOX 360 without having to find any remotes.
elitepigwrangler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
LG G2 too.
makeitrainbow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:03:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or you can buy a TV BE GONE
Lurking_Still ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually pretty cool, could be used for a few laughs.
IAmA_Lovely_Badger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some Smart TV manufacturers have android/iphone apps for controlling their TVs. I know Panasonic has one, and I'm sure some of the other major brands do too
Foxrider304 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:59:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Smart TVs typically have apps for phones that can be then used as a remote control
GodwinHere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:20:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have media remote on my phone to control the blu ray player and remote mouse to control the computer that is hooked up to my TV and plays Netflix and all the movies, TV shows and songs I have on my server.
I cant be bothered to get up and walk 10 feet to do that shit!!
hibernathan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:29:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely just went and downloaded a remote control app. I'm no where near a tv.
dDRAGONz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am so used to reading defiantly as definetly on here that when I read your correct definetly I read it as defiantly and almost cheered you on.
CJ_Guns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Certain "Smart" TVs can use something proprietary, but also some cable providers offer their own application (like Cablevision's Optimum) without any need for something special.
I actually use it a lot, it's quicker to manipulate the guide and stuff, also I can stream the live TV on my device if I'm too lazy to go to the living room. It also lets you set your DVR from anywhere, which has saved me in a forgetful pinch more than once.
I think a few other providers have similar offerings.
Najd7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:45:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a Sony Xperia ZL and it has a remote control app preinstalled in it. It's awesome.
Kalesche ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:10:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Apple TV can be controlled via wifi and an iPhone. This probably works on other systems too.
Condense ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Someone please respond!!!
adamsak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He or she could be referring to the iOS "Remote" app that can be used to control the Apple TV box (For iTunes and Netflix).
DooDooBoots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I believe some phones can emit infrared. So get the right code for your tv and it will work. Unless he was talking about Apple's remote app for apple tv and Apple devices connected to your network.
chronolock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
for a mouse you just need wifi, it works on DLNA. Airmouse is the one I use. Works awesome on a tablet.
Rushdownsouth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get it, welcome to the future.
iloveLoveLOVECats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have Optimum cable who has an app that includes the TV guide, allows me to program my DVR, and can be used as a remote for any cable box in the house. Pretty rad and for a long time had a better interface than the TV guide through the regular remote.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
With the more modern smart TVA you can download a remote app as they (the tv) are usually connected to wifi. I know my lg has one and it works decently.
Shyguy8413 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Verizon fios has it. It's often more reliable than the damn remote.
The_Lone_Noblesse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL: There's an app for that.
the_plantman_knows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Dear_Occupant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You really owe it to yourself to spend some time looking at what all is out there if this is a discovery for you. I had a remote control app for my PocketPC back in the 1990s. I'm pretty sure I had one on my Palm Pilot, too.
dylan522p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have an HTC One and LG G2 and both have a IR blaster and app and I can turn on any TV and change channels and such.
fierynaga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Time warner has an app. I downloaded it but needed the account number. Too lazy to go find it.
Raincoats_George ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Comes standard on galaxy s4
Ahhmedical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lg smart TV's have em. Probably the greatest invention no it doesn't mater where the remote hid
hilwil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Comcast has one too. Definitely good when you can't find the remote.
mrihearvoices ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I literally just discovered this yesterday. I use my Android phone to control my Samsung SMART TV
satannik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only available on the Galaxy S4, Galaxy Note 3, and HTC One
bakabakablah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:51:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And the LG G2...and any other phone with an IR blaster.
satannik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I didn't know that the LG G2 had an ir blaster
jeffunity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Enjoy
Remote by Apple https://itunes.apple.com/au/app/remote/id284417350?mt=8
NoveltyName ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:21:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I seen a blu-ray one. Works through wifi.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:48:01 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is one for Google TV as well.
LiquidGen0cide ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
apple tv
Avoidingsnail ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:04:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
amateur it came preloaded in my phone.
theHiddenTroll ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:40:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The struggle is too real.
mg115ca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've torrented a movie rather than get up to grab the dvd.
senor_moustache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been in this situation before. Used a fly swatter to change the channel.
synpse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did that in the 1990s.. When laptops had IR ports
sonofaresiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same. The groan when I realized the app wasn't compatible with my tv was audible from two blocks away.
richyrich2014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Which APP is that by the way?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. There really is an app for everything.
dadick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Please enlighten me. What remote control app did you get?
methcp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking top comments and tilde keys, 2013 truly was the year of estimation.
sorahn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this. Except 10 years ago the "remote app" was my little brother. And "downloading" meant yelling to him from where I was sitting.
tsilihin666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just downloaded remote mouse and it has changed my life. Probably for the worse but it's cool. This is amazing.
HalpTheFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What was the app exactly?
mouka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I came in this thread to post this exact thing, was pleasantly surprised to see it near the front already.
My remote was on the other end of the coffee table and I couldn't reach it with my hands or feet. So what do I do? Get my lazy self up? No sir, there's an app for that.
darkmooninc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The more of these I read, the more seem to belong in /r/trees
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's a thing?!
tit-troll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Before smart phones I used a pool cue
cjnewbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, opened up the app and realised I needed the remote to pair them up.
EggyWeggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once when the remote was just out of reach and I didn't want to disturb the kitty sleeping on top of me.
BLUFALCON78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't do the app but called my 11 year old daughter upstairs and had her hand the remote to me. I let her have extra dessert that night though because I felt bad.
Suvega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can you please head over to /r/gaming and repeat this? People wonder why we created SmartGlass...
THcB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is why I like my Samsung tv. Can't reach remote? Just start yelling at the tv until it turns up the volume.
XMED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just did this last week. My remote was under my bed so...
YellowLeatherJacket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Computer was on the coffee table so I downloaded the vlc remote app so I wouldn't have to lean forward.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Roku?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My Google tv box started crashing and needed a reboot. I spent 30 minutes researching how to reboot it via the remote rather than going across the room.
MinimalCasualRacism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:14 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Typical geek. But once you figured it out, you never had to get up again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:47 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately I never did find a way to do it. The Logitech Revue makes it easy (control-alt-delete on they keyboard) but the Vizio Co-Star does not appear to provide a method.
Apparently it's possible to hook up the revue keyboard to the co-pilot, but you need a special USB adapter for it, and I'm not sure if it would have honored the control-alt-delete at all.
At the end of the day I ditched the Google TV box and got a Roku 3. It's a bit less powerful, but it works far better than any of the Google TV devices I've seen.
skinsfan55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I'll be laying down with the remote out of reach on the coffee table and I'll just grab the table and drag it towards me to put the remote closer to view. Too much effort. I'll have to download an app.
dangerwolf1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother, who is completely capable of being mobile and active, called my brother from across the house to grab her the remote that was literally eleven inches from her reach. When I asked why she did that, she replied "that child is lazy, he needs to move more." I don't even...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Before I had a smart phone I watched infomercials (The same one, but repeatedly. I think it was magic bullet) after the cartoons finished because I couldn't reach the remote.
Not2original ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for tbat wonderful idea! You are my hero of the day! :-)
markonnen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get an Xbox one. Voice command eliminates remotes.
sarahhlove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
is this a thing?!
zekethefreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mid 1990s, tv remote was broken, moved the TV (old tube TV) to the foot of the bed and operated the TV with my toes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
LOL I am lazy too many things in this thread I've done.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The remote control app needs hardware thoughโฆ hardware that takes time to get. You're a phony!! Or you had the hardware already?
inthiscrazyworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:44 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
fair enough. might as well have been in China.
Link_95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:11 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
This one time I was minding my own business in my bedroom when I hear my dad call me from the living room. I go to the living room to see what he wants and he told me to pick up the remote and give it to him so he could change the channel. It was like 2 feet away from his seat. I just stared at him in awe at how ridiculous he was being. I eventually picked it up and threw it at him.
williamwilliam ยท 3240 points ยท Posted at 04:16:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eating a microwavable meal in bed, I got it all over. I then took off my sock to use as a napkin.
THE_CHOPPA ยท 1934 points ยท Posted at 04:22:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We would be good friends
SCVGOOD2GOSIR ยท 2066 points ยท Posted at 06:09:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You two would be too lazy to ever hang out with each other.
Brutalitarian ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 07:25:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey man, wanna hang out?... by playing a League of Legends game over skype?
breakeezy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:53:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This has been my life for the past couple months...
StatuatoryApe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Man I dont wanna drive to your place lets just skype"
Eventually our video-game bronights is going to turn into group skype dates.
I think the only thing keeping us hanging out in person is doing drugs between games.
Godolin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, i'd just set up a teamspeak server in my room and never leave. Need to contact me? Hop on.
1stwarror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:51 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
:o That's what I've been doing with my friend for several months
BUTT_SOCK ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:57:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"We still never talk sometimes"
-Ron Swanson
xcited ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:35:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once you'd get them in the same room though... they would never leave each other.
701_PUMPER ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:54:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Text from bed buddies still counts as friends
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:51:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
NO! YOU come over HERE!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Coming over to hang = housemates for life
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Wanna hang out" "Nah man I'm just tired" "Yeah I wasn't really gonna hang out anyway too tired, just wanted to see how you feel"
jaypeeps ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:49:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But all William needs to do is get to THE_CHOPPAH
salavis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Best friend I ever had
catherinewhatisthis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's the best kind of friend.
rhetoricles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is so beautiful.
Asian_Prometheus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And they'd be more than fine enough with that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or they'd hang out once and be too lazy to leave.
They've been together for twelve years.
Samonellamiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You used all three forms of the word "to" in that sentence.
mrforrest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But once they got together they'd be too lazy to leave
Mazuna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The best of friends
Old-bag-o-bones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
skype man
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is how it is with one of my friends. He always wants us to go over to his house but it is far away and a pain to get to so we don't feel like it. Also, he doesn't live in the safest district so that isn't exactly going to help my laziness. I live in a nicer district where we have parks and shit to go hang out in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
thats why
theywe have reddit[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The perfect friendship
Flaming_Flame ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:22:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think he would have much trouble getting to THE_CHOPPA...
daytonatrbo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:21:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think you are obligated to GET TO THE_CHOPPA
TightAssHole234 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:13:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps they'd be too lazy to engage in homosexual penetrative anal sex as well. Or maybe not.
_vOv_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:17:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
eww
w0den ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i will get to you
Cosmo_Hill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think your username is because you're too lazy to get TO the choppa.... You just thought you'd point it out in case someone else wanted to get it for you.
THE_CHOPPA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That and I used to pull my wiener out and spin it in my hand while yelling;
" Get to the choppa!!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get to it williamwilliam
partenon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
williamwilliam you should go to THE_CHOPPA
jp426_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:49 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What, did you choppa off your entire foot to use as a napkin or something?
Tulki ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:39:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sock napkin... that's it, I'm done. This is the most pathetic and hilarious thing I've ever heard.
ButtShitKittyLitter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On a similar note I once repurposed a sock as well. Back story is that I was in college living in a house with a few friends. We would run out of vital shit and everyone was too lazy to replace it. One day I was taking a pretty violent shit. I finish up and surprise no toilet paper.
But fortunately I was wearing socks that day. I peeled one off, cleaned my rim and buried it at the bottom of the trash. Still didn't buy TP, but instead opted to shit exclusively on campus for the next week or so.
Tulki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really.
Really.
Man...
amuffinformypuffin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I love living alone. No one will ever know the foul bachelor frog acts I've committed
Endulos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:07:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once used my sock as a kleenex
I had a cold, the sickest I had ever felt and was so fucking tired. I was laying in bed with a box of kleenex beside me, when suddenly the box fell off my bed, bounced and landed like 2 inches out of reach. I didn't feel like exerting myself, so I pulled my sock off and used it to blow my nose.
itmakessenseincontex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:44:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck I don't even go that far. I use the nearest available blanket corner.
igncom1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:10:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this.....too often.
downtherabbithole ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:33:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Done the same with a sports bra.
angrykittydad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:27:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more upset by the reactions you're getting to this, because I know I've done this. I didn't actually take off the sock, though. Too much work. I just lifted up my leg to my face. This was years ago. Probably.
tman_elite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is that considered a lazy thing? I use socks to clean up basically any spill I ever have.
damnshiok ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:37:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"spill"
Microbus50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sock as a Napkin. One of my faves!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Embrace it.
synpse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Napkin.. Fapkin.. Whateva
InFaDeLiTy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Done same thing many of times.
HollowGlower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reaching down for a sock? That sounds like work! A true lazy man has dirty ones within reach for such purposes.
GoFunkYourself13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, that is pretty lazy. Eating microwavable meals and all.
robertjohnson06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did something similar, just let my cat lick my fingers
theSchmoopy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...so that's how that got started
Wyndelin77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's so great
Najd7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is brilliant and disgusting at the same time.
Russell_Crowe_Show ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I too have used my sock as a napkin in bed... I wasn't eating anything.
citron2k1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Socks have multiple uses.
theamazingroberto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is simultaneously the saddest and funniest thing i've read today
SkittleSkitzo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've used a sock to blow my nose before because I was too lazy to grab a Kleenex
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used my lab coat, which is pretty gross because I do biology.
Captkap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well done, my hat is off to you sir
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:58:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That just means you're resourceful
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm to lazy to bother taking the sock off so I use it as a napkin, in situ.
Mad_Hatter_Bot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bachelor etiquette 101
meowcat187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, so youre a lady's man as well.
honeybeemarie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did that with the sports bra I was wearing once. I'm a disgusting excuse for a lady.
frrrni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You, my friend, would survive in the wild.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
....then used the same sock to masturbate into
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do that after masturbating
FredsFuckinFantastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At home, when I don't have a napkin, I always use my socks. I don't care if they're stained, they're hidden by my shoes in public anyway.
jaXXXek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's some mcgyver shit there!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer the bread napkin
suppjv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:23 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend once blew her nose in her sock because she was too lazy to get a tissue.
Blacksm1th ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:28:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're going to the special hell.
1bigfatcock ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:26:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ive used a sock as toilet paper cause there was none on the roll and the cupboard was just too far
redcaspus33 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:42:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then beat off n use the sock to clean up your mess. Didnt feel like moving your arm to throw it on the floor so left it on my stomach. Woke up and it was glued to ur chest hairs. Didnt wanna get up to get a washcloth so u spit on your stomach till u could loosen it and rubbed the leftovers back into my stomach.
JBalk9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ _เฒ
redcaspus33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: your
iChopPryde ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:35:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just laughed so hard drool came out of my mouth!
Barak50cal ยท 664 points ยท Posted at 04:35:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Threw a shoe to knock over the cat food bag so I didn't have to go all the way into the garage to open it and dump it into the bowl
MFORCE310 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:57:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for that laugh! Probably one of my favorite ones.
CovingtonLane ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:12:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A cat with any self respect would have torn into that bag after getting hungry enough. Congrats, you have a lazy cat!
Catwoman8888 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:59:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just bought an automatic feeder so I don't have to keep pouring food into my cat's bowl every day
ziggy161 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:02:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That cat must have been so happy
TheJunkyard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And later, so fat.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:13:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, who throws a shoe?
HiyaGeorgie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:02 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't get enough credit for this but I appreciated it :(
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:07 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you :)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:48:48 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use to throw things at my door to close it.
Rankerqt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jim?
octopada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
good aim
tyler2009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:48 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't wear those shoes for a month
PeachMilky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:25 on April 20, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god this is hilarious.
MalHeartsNutmeg ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:32:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What happened when you needed the shoe? Or is that how you got the nickname 'Shoeless Barak50cal'?
trustmeijewish ยท 3410 points ยท Posted at 02:39:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lost 14 pounds because i didnt feel like eating
[deleted] ยท 2106 points ยท Posted at 07:05:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy who accidentally went on a raw vegan diet because he just couldn't be bothered cooking. Just spent half the year munching on carrots and apples like a spoilt pony.
[deleted] ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 09:17:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I've started doing. Fruit is so convenient and varied. Banana's and apples are where it's at for actually feeling full afterwards.
[deleted] ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 10:21:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But who was protein?
[deleted] ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 10:28:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cow meat fruit. Delicious, bloody steak fruit.
mucsun ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 11:06:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Let a few fruits rot, and eat the flies that will come eventually.
lou22 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 12:15:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use flies to capture lizards for more protein
RaginBuu ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 13:06:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use lizard to capture hawk for more protein
Faxon ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 13:21:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use hawk to hunt small game and breed more hawks for lifetime supply of protein
eeeebbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is turning into Dracula...
Throtex ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 13:06:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use hawk to pick up chicks.
aphir ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:29:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Proceed to eat said chicks for added protein.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:23 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Find Jolly Ranchers in chicks for more protein.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 15:28:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, eat their pussys
Scrial ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:29:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like work
TimeLordPony ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nah the flies do the majority of the work
illyay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You have to cook the lizard though
404fucksnotavailable ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:08:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use lizards to catch cats for even more protien.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:32:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
atsu333 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 13:05:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously they're nuts! But where did the protein come from?!
Seboy666 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:26:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
brocoli I guess
Dfry ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:27:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what almonds and cashews are for!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:26:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My go to lazy food is raw broccoli and hummus. It's like my chips and dip. Hummus is pretty chocked full of protein. I've gone weeks of being too lazy to cook and that is literally all I will eat all day, everyday.
[deleted] ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 12:57:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Like a spoilt pony made me crack up
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:05:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I go vegetarian every summer because salads are so easy to make.
thepresidentsturtle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine the first steak after every summer is amazing.
TrueHybrid ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:32:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just like the phrase "like a spoilt pony"
alystair ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:25:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How'd he end up?
Dfry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:28:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably healthier
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he can do pull-ups and I can't, so there's that. I mean he eats nuts and seeds and vegetables too, not literally just apples
fatmama923 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:36:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The image in my heard right now... Male version of that horsey actress with a carrot hanging out of his mouth.
ScarletBegonias1965 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:26:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wat?
fatmama923 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 09:41:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That actress from Sex in the City?
chokfull ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 10:25:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nicholas Cage?
fatmama923 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:59:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sarah Jessica Parker
mouth4war ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 12:12:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sarah Peter Parker
Klepisimo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:52:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sarah Peter Griffin
Average650 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:06:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my kinda diet.
BrianL111 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:11:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like spoilt
ImOnlyDying ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just realized how brilliant that is.
Sojoez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:51:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The Steve Jobs pathway to pancreatic cancer
kairla8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:07:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spoilt pony.
TheBoldManLaughsOnce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spoilt Pony is a strip club in London.
True story.
Xenc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
kitcatkittycat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've gone vegetarian because I'd rather not buy meat when I can go out drinking instead. It's an experience.
acetrainerjames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I read this and could only hear it coming from Kramer. "You know my friend, Bob Sacamano? Well he accidentally went on a raw vegan diet because he just couldn't be bothered cooking. Just spent half the year munching on carrots and apples like a spoilt pony."
GunRaptor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:12 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is truly brilliant...
killbot500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:21 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I found this ridiculously funny
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:52 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
This I how I accidentally became a vegetarian actually. I hate cooking.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:47:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
HojMcFoj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You thought not cooking food was robbing you of vitamins?
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 867 points ยท Posted at 06:26:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
My bed is downstairs, the kitchen upstairs. My roommates are home so I'll have to put clothes on. Meh...I'll eat tomorrow.
EDIT: you guys are oddly obsessed with the layout of my house and whether I live with my parents or not. Okay, so I do NOT live with my parents. My roommates are a male and a female couple that I've been friends with for years. Housing is pretty cheap in my area but there is a city law that only 3 unrelated people can live together. We live in a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom house. On the ground floor, there is the kitchen, living room, and dining room. One floor up from that is one bathroom and 3 of the four bedrooms, which are currently an office, a book room (we have a lot of books) and the room my roommates share. The basement is a really nice finished basement that has a second living room, the fourth bedroom (mine) and the second bathroom. Everyone clear now? Jeez.
EDIT: I'm female, so I do not have a neck beard. As for the walking around without clothes...I did that until my original roommate's girlfriend moved in. She gets uncomfortable more easily than we do.
desertfox14 ยท 483 points ยท Posted at 08:06:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Solution is simple: lower both parties' expectations and go for it anyway.
devilwarriors ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:19:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How will you find what is your roommate limits if you never test them. You could be missing a great opportunity to upgrade your level of comfort.
Reddit_beard ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 12:07:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is going out of your way to be terrible early on, just once, so they know what the absolute bottom limits are. Then just being slightly shitty looks good. Source: I've been wearing pajamas for over a week now, everyone is proud I'm awake during normal people hours
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:17:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you can wake up before noon consistently, like 50% of the shit talking goes away.
Reddit_beard ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:18:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If by "consistently" you mean 3 or 4 days a week, I'm on board
Parkodin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:18:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you get a poncho you can reduce the amount of cloths needed to put on by 1-3.
But good job on the being awake on normal people hours!
Reddit_beard ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:28:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to get a poncho, it would really take my unemployment/depression fashion to the next level. Plus I'd look like Clint Eastwood.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:30:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like the cut if your jib.
Reddit_beard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:34:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like the jib, if you're cut.
Parkodin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:42:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Love the attitude man good things will happen!
Reddit_beard ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:52:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, hopefully a poncho will happen
mynamesafad ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:04:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
All my roommates and their significant others are used to seeing me walk around the apartment in just boxers. Its the good life. My significant other questions it, but just accepts it.
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:21:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wear thongs so I feel a bit more uncomfortable doing that :p.
Thor_The_Dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Genius.
thormawk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:09:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually a very common thing. Being slightly afraid of "doing" anything, resulting in staying in your room all day.
Signager ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:42:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to the N.H.K.
trippygrape ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:42:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This used to happen with me when I lived at home. I would try and avoid using the bathroom as long as possible if family was at home till I was almost jumping up and down having to pee.
happyharrr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:13:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lost 18 lbs because I didn't feel like eating. My kitchen is a meter from my room. My mini-fridge is a meter from my bed. Apparently, both are too far.
yazzledazzle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:30:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommates and I have always had a no pants no problem clause.
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:22:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We did until his girlfriend moved in. She's a lot more uncomfortable with it.
yazzledazzle ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:40:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We were two girls living with three guys. Man up. Pantlessness is something you don't sacrifice.
I now live with four guys and pants are optional. If we have company, I just stay in my room for the day.
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:32 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want to man up because I'm female, dammit. And I'm not going to make my roommate that uncomfortable. I like her and she's a good person. Goodness.
yazzledazzle ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:27:04 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm also a female. As long as there's full butt coverage, it's okay with everyone here.
neoballoon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:20:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is really quite odd. Are there no universities in this city? Groups of young people? What city are you in?
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:26:25 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fort Collins, CO. And there is a university (which I attend). It's a stupid law and they're trying to change it.
neoballoon ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:42:00 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So you guys can't rent, say a 4-bd house with four of your fellow students?
Further, how does the local government even police this and go about proving relation status?
Wow I just looked up your town's housing ordinances, and it's absurd.
Under this ordinance the following scenarios are allowed:
These are not allowed:
(http://www.fcgov.com/neighborhoodservices/occupancy.php)
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:50:45 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's insane isn't it? But hey we got a huge break on rent because of it. Since they CAN'T rent to four students, they rented it to us for what it would cost if it were a 3 bedroom. Actually it's less per month than our old 3 bedroom apartment that was really cramped. So there's an upside.
neoballoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:03:11 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha that's interesting. Seems like there should be more of an incentive from the housing owners and management companies to get rid of that law. It'd mean more money for them, in this specific instance.
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:08:35 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The rental companies hate it sooooo much. They and the college students are teaming up against it. The issue is that suburban families love this law because they get tired of loud college kids. I guess we can just wait and see!
neoballoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:21:34 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get a real movement going on man... It'll feel good. LOGIC 2014 is all yours to use in your quest to vanquish all that which is illogical.
Are you studying poli sci, policy, any of the social sciences, social work, npo's, business, etc?
If you are in that sphere of things, then launching this sort of campaign will look GOLDEN on your rรฉsumรฉ. You'll have something to write about if you're pursuing post-grad, potential employers will be impressed by your initiative, and everyone will want to hire you.
Are you in the sciences? Fuck it, still take the initiative, because that which is ILLOGICAL affects EVERYTHING. Illogical policies and red tape are the bane of Government-funded research, for instance.
LOGIC 2014 is the birth of a new political party. And you can be part of it in a big way. It's gotta start small in the grassroots, and this sleepy town of Fort Collins, Colorado is the ideal breeding ground. Fort Collins will be written into the history books as the birthplace of the Logic Party.
This is big.
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:30:35 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Social Psychology. Still works...I'm in! Also, please tell me you work in advertising or politics. If not, consider a career change. You have a talent.
neoballoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:51:59 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh that's perfect -- you can make your thesis about this very thing, examining the current situation, looking at the different groups involved and how, at all, they've been coalescing around the issue, etc. Though it's a relatively benign problem, it's all a nice little microcosm to study group psychology, because the groups: property managers, students, local government, etc. are so distinct. What makes people care about things? How does a person's social group influence or predict that person's feelings and behaviors in relation to the problem? How does the degree of severity of what's at stake influence these things? Is there a way to increase perceived stakes in individuals or groups? If so, how? All interesting questions for a social scientist, I'd imagine.
I'm in the literary/publishing/journalism worlds, so these kinds of things are of much interest to me. And of course persuasion is everything in my line of work. I guess the same holds for any line of work really...
neoballoon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:00:52 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I also found these sources:
http://housinginfortcolllins.wordpress.com/u2/
Get Rid of the "U Plus 2" Law In Fort Collins
Change.org campaign: Repeal the "U Plus 2" law
Now, I live in California. I'm not a student anymore. None of this immediately applies to me.
But it does apply to me, because this is an instance of an antiquated policy whose application today is completely illogical. That which is illogical is our ENEMY.
So this does apply to me. It applies to all of us. We must fight for logic. This may seem like a small problem in a small town, but it's bigger than Fort Collins. That which is not logical is our enemy, and we must fight it using logic. We will sign change.org petitions. We will break red tape. We will do this together, and we will use the forces of LOGIC!
LOGIC 2014!
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:09:39 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dang...I want to politically protest with YOU. if you're this excited over housing then think of the possibilities! LOGIC 2014!
TheCrowing2113 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:19:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Living in a flat with 4 others, this is my current philosophy
CovingtonLane ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:20:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why?
Sventertainer ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:19:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Said roommates have this silly habit of having eyes.
DemeGeek ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:53:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Solution: blind roommate
Miniappolis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:17:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who the hay puts a kitchen upstairs??
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
See edit
I_AM_POOPING_NOW_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who builds homes, wtf kinda house has the kitchen upstairs?
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Upstairs from my room. It's technically the ground floor and my room is in the basement. The ground floor has the kitchen and living room, and then one more floor up has my roommates' rooms.
PacoTaco321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you in the basement? Having a kitchen on the second floor is weird.
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes lol. The kitchen is on the ground floor.
aeiah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
do you walk on the ceiling?
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...no. My bedroom is in the basement.
igloo27 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:50:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
By "roommates" you mean "parents", right?
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They're only six months older than me so I really hope they're not my parents.
GodsBellybutton ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:06:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
roommates... Are you living in your parents basement there neck-beard?
MySoulIsAPterodactyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, I do live in a basement though. And I'm female so no neck beard :).
[deleted] ยท 1511 points ยท Posted at 04:14:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't eaten for 3 days cause didn't feel like cooking and lacked money to order food.
coedced ยท 1657 points ยท Posted at 04:36:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a feeling that could be unhealthy.
coahman ยท 1179 points ยท Posted at 04:59:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But at least he paid the internet bill, right?
andreib14 ยท 877 points ยท Posted at 05:24:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For me Internet>food
I just realized I have a problem...
findfind2 ยท 1883 points ยท Posted at 06:08:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If anyone asks there are cookies in the browser.
willachinchilla ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 07:21:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And chips in the hardware.
THAT_WAS_TITS ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:57:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Directions clear; bloody mouth.
wour ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 07:22:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
MANY cookies, you just have to click them. A lot.
SageOfSkyrim ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 09:09:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Broke 50 Quadrillion cookies today... havent reset yet...
ubion ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:25:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
reset! thats really inefficient if your collecting HC's, it wont take you that long at all to get back to where you were
SageOfSkyrim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting for my brother to reset his game, he doesn't understand the Heavenly cookie thing though, so we'll wait.
coolatomic360 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:11:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I understood this reference. Now, back to my grandmas.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:17:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy, just download a macro to click it for you.
este_hombre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:54:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There are always cookies in the browser-stand.
king_itatchi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:50:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or you can just get your grandma army to make you some.
smechile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:44:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! And I just visited Oatmeal1
deva_p ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But careful, there are bugs all over the place and even a mouse. Also a web.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just download a burger.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the mood for chips.
ebosia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just turn on caret browsing
aprofondir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't mention the kind that's meant to be clicked
mistermez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How many of them have you clicked?
1919 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
cookieclicker.com
oo- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:23:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nope. not gonna start that shit again.
Oscar_Geare ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:35:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You can fuck right off, mate.
LUK3FAULK ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:34:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But did you click them
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:59:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
PLEASE DONT LINK THAT GAME.... NOOOOOOOOOOOO
GigaFrank ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:01:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a single man, no, there are not.
a_tiny_monster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:35:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Internet > Beer > Diet Mountain Dew > Food
Ashybear21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's me. :/
DracoAzuleAA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Careful budgeting. Careful, careful budgeting.
For me, as a tipped pizza driver, I use my tips for groceries. After gas, that is. And if I still have some left over I use it to help with my other bills including my part of the cable bill.
Before that, I was blowing all my tips every night on fast food, and if I did particularly well in tips I might buy some Xbox LIVE points. Not only was I wasting money, I was getting fat.
You probably don't have a job that lets you come home with at least $20 in your pocket every night on top of hourly pay. But what I'm getting at here is, take stock of all your sources of income. Look at what you spend your money on and figure out the things you REALLY need versus the things you think you need. You might be surprised at how much money you may be wasting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I didn't have the Internet, how could I order food when I get hungry?
Alex470 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit... You just made me realize I also have a problem.
Parkodin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a problem?!
nerdyogre254 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spend more on internet than I do on food. Of course that would be because my housemate doesn't have a phone line, I'm only renting a room, and wireless only net is expensive as balls.
TheGreatSpaces ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, Internet brings food!
JAnon19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is it not like this for everyone?
CaptainIndustry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My light bills is $515 and set for disconnect early next month. Got a call from my ISP that would be disconnecting my cable this week, which happens every month 60 days past due. So I decided to pay the cable bill. Well now I realized it won't matter if I have cable if there's no electric. But hey, priorities.
InsightfulLemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's only a problem when your internet gets cut off.
Twixx2467 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For me internet=food
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:34:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
More baisc needs are at the bottom
Treypyro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Look, we've got to set our priorities. I fear that I would lose my mind without the internet. I have set up most of my day to day entertainment based off of the internet.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:21:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
People steal internet from neighbor's wifi.
imsohighondrugs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Auto pay... Done
faders ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Soon we'll be able to 3D print McNuggets and it'll be fine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:42 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mine's bundled with my rent. I don't lose internet unless I'm homeless.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:11:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actually it's how many cases of OCD/anorexia start. Some die of it eventually if they don't get treatment in time.
ReadsStuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've eaten like 1 meal a day for the past week. Nowwww I'm worried about myself.
smarmymarmy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:43:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Short term fasting is actually beneficial to humans so long as don't let yourself get dehydrated.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:16:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
smarmymarmy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:46:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I love your sarcasm. If it were a thing I could hug I would go all Lenny all over it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay if he's obese.
TSKmemphis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:10:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been eating leftover Halloween candy for the past month for dinner almost every night. Life sucks.
HalfysReddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:04:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually not - fasting is only unhealthy when you do it too long or when you don't have the fat stores to fast safely.
kittypuppet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:24:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once actually in December a couple years ago. Winter break rolled around and during those two weeks, I was in the worst pain and I couldn't eat anything. I ended up with a few stomach ulcers that still bug me to this day.
I recommend keeping a stash of food by your bed for those lazy days.
coedced ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:03:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Genius.
trustmeijewish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Im what medical proffessionals call malnourished
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
coedced ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but 14 pounds? That can't be good for you.
demonicderp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
MEHAR. I FOUND YOU
coedced ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I already linked you my user name.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and no, a healthy individual can go a long time with no food or little food.
Lister-Cascade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fasting is extremely healthy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He has about 18 more days before we have a potentially serious problem.
Ashybear21 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:32:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It is.
whiteboynigga ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:40:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It is.
Source: wrestler.
zebrahbro44104 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:58:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
or their just Asian
jiggyjiggyjiggy ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 06:02:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Make sure you drink water. If you keep drinking water, you should be alright for a while.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:34:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever tried cereal?
guitmusic11 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:57:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't eaten for three days because that would be way too long.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
hah oh man dats a goodun
cairdeas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:41:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The Poverty Diet!
IAmGerino ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:57:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once forgot to eat for 3 days. I drank some juice (it was a very hot summer), at work I was too busy at that time, at home I was just chillin. After 3 days I was like umm... I guess I forgot to eat.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Try hard. Its been 6 days now for me. Hardly moved an inch... I'm not sure if I can anymore.
gonnapie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:23:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now thats depressing, dude.
forrext ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:19:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My body has literally adjusted to me only eating 1 meal a day. I don't get hungry.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Heating up ramen is barely cooking man
RubberDong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:53:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
fuck eating...yesterday I spent 1 hour trying to chop sweet potatoes, carrots,, wash mushrooms and this purple thingy that looks like vin diesel's nose, egg plant i think.
ILikeMyBlueEyes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've chosen to forgo eating before because I didn't have any clean pots, pans, or dishes. I still do that sometimes. I'll have food, but nothing to cook it in or eat it on/with. I'll take one look my dirty dishes and say "Whelp, guess I can't eat."
175gr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, just take adderall. It'll give you back your appetite.
(Note: I'm totally lying. People don't seem to get that from me. I must have a trusting internet-face.)
p0wer_puff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live in dorms where we've already paid for the meals, we just need to go to the cafeteria. Walk two minutes? Nah. I'll just take as bath.
juxtaposition21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well shit Reddit should order you a pizza
LoweJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yeh, i'm pretty much snacking because i cant be bothered to cook pasta. i have no bread for sandwiches, fish fingers take like 5 mins to cook and thats to long. My fridge just has butter and milk
Abibliophobia_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should visit /r/randomactsofpizza
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, I am lazy enough to not cook and too cheap to order food these days but I'm productive enough to make tea instead...or just drink the hot water... I do this a lot actually.
starlinguk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is making a PJ&J sandwich cooking? Or even eating a slice of dry bread?
queen_of_the_koopas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Confession: I do not eat until around 5PM. AKA the time my husband comes home, and can make some for me.
I will clean the house all day, but make my own food? Nahhh.....
Okay, sometimes I cook. But he's the cook much more often. It's not my fault he's so good at it!! hahaha
shibbitydibbity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Story of my life.
WobbleWobbleWobble ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:38:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How do you honestly function? After only eating a large popcorn and a pretzel all day my body was about to fall on the ground because I didn't have any energy.
trixter21992251 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:05:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your metabolism adapts. Sit still for months, sleep 11-12 hours a day, and you can get by with water and a meal per day, sometimes no meal at all.
source: I did that. And yes, I'm glad I don't do it anymore. It's not that bad while you're in it, but it hurts to look back on it.
WobbleWobbleWobble ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:52:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
See I eat about 4 meals a day. If you have ever been to chipotle you know how big the burritos can get. Picture a very big burrito, and i cant eat 2 of those per meal. I honestly dont know how i survived just on popcorn.
Vengeance164 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:00:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As someone with ADHD, I feel your pain. It's even worse now that I'm on ADHD meds, as they suppress your appetite anyway. I'll be sitting at the computer and think "Fuck, I haven't eaten yet today. I need to do thaLOOK ANOTHER CAT VIDEO ON REDDIT!"
Repeat until hunger is too uncomfortable to ignore.
Dongface ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:43:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit must not be good for that. I know it's completely trashed my attention span.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:14:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I'm sure I don't have ADHD but what you describe happens to me too, it's not uncommon that I don't remember to eat until it's past midnight, and then it just makes more sense to go to sleep and wait for the morning.
Then again, when I do feel like eating I will go way out of control with it, I'll buy everything I like and eat it all in one day.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:33:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to me too except I was depressed and not lazy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:20 on December 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
depending on the depression, they can be very similar
ImAVibration ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:06:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I gained 50 lbs because I didn't feel like moving.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
how did you gain weight then? didn't you have to move to get food?
PusherLoveG ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:44:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't eaten in 4 days cause I just got out of a relationship of two years. 10lbs lost
trustmeijewish ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:47:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah i went to college...... but sorry they werent good enough for you. You are sexy and smart and have a giant dick. go you
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:37:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PusherLoveG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We had a "mutual" break up. He lied to me a lot. I still love him in a sense that i care about him. We agreed to be friends but i seriously dont know if i can be friends. We work together at a restaurant. I see him and it literally hurts my heart. I want to call him and beg him to take me back. But I know I'm just setting myself up for a another heart break if I do. I feel a bit happier and relieved cause I don't have that paranoia I had the last month of our relationship of him lying to me. I know it's going to get better. I know one day it'll just be a stupid useless memory, but right now it's killing me inside. Because I have no one to talk to about it. They don't know what I'm going through. And even as I write this. I'm crying my eyes out because of how horrible it felt when he said "I don't love you anymore".
gargoyle30 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:23:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this everyday, I'm already really skinny, and I love food, I don't understand it either
Iampossiblyatwork ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:14:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I too suffered from lazyrexia. It was too damn cold outside. I was out of food. Might as well sleep it off.
The_Child_of_Atom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:14:52 on March 3, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
doctors hate him
trustmeijewish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:44 on March 3, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
dude you realize how old this thread is...... also i love fallout
The_Child_of_Atom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:52 on March 4, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I know how old it is but I couldn't help but still posting it and Fallout is awesome
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:01:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did this too, more or less the same weight. Came home after work and slept until the next day, every day. Never ate dinner.
SpirizZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:12:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Doin it for a few months now... Breakfast? Bitch I'll sleep a little more.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:25:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Im perpetually skinny because i really dont feel like eating , ever. I dont enjoy it unless its total junk so i just dont eat.
WillBlaze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:52:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think I do the same thing (unless its something i can just pick up and eat, forget about it) and everyone is always wondering why I am getting thinner than them (they are all overweight compared to when I first met them).
It works for the best really.
JoschyTheFreak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now thats a real diet.
GunRaptor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:01 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's mildly great....
Ashybear21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I developed anorexia. :/
eric22vhs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been in this boat. Maybe during one period of my life, I wouldn't say I starved myself, but I would save money to hang out with a girl even if it meant skipping a meal here and there. For the most part, in phases where I became "too skinny" it was due to laziness around taking time out of my day to get food or cook and sit down and eat.
Karolinkaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so hungry but that requires leaving bed and effort...
lolzfeminism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah adderall does that to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
trustmeijewish ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:54:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Scratch your balls and sniff then please describe it for me
laststandman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to the last 15 years of my life
randomperson1a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I get really addicted to a video game I'm just too lazy to eat a lot of the time. Don't even notice hunger pains when I'm really into the game.
fiqar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was really hard to fight this laziness when I started trying to gain weight. Eating is a fucking chore...
sitlikelemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Says the jew...
DeadlyLegion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha! I did this too! Man back when I was a teen and played WoW I got really thin!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did that for a week lol
Miss_nuts_a_bit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The only reason I'm skinny. I just don't want to get up all the time to eat/drink something.
TrigInTermsOfTau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At the moment I am hungry, need to pee, and it's way past a sane hour. However, all of this requires me leaving the room I am in now. I'll just bounce my leg until I start to pass out and my subcocious takes over. Let him do the grunt work.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a first time home owner living by herself, I am entirely too busy to eat or cook, and when I get some time off I just want to sleep and lounge around. Laziness>cooking
Thomas7575 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My freshman -15 came about in this fashion.
I was 6'2" 160lbs when I started.
Moinseur_Garnier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dietitians hate him!
hdawg19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how much I lost but I ate a slice of bread each day for 2 months once
easymak1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I live on the 14th floor of my dorm. In order to eat I have to take the elevator down to the first floor, then walk about 100 yards to the dining hall. Yeah... Ill have a bottle of water and a nap instead.
THE_REAL_SPONGEBOB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations. You've broken laziness. Everybody go home/turn off your devices. We're done here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is me, had the flu for a week and I lost 10 pounds in that week alone from not eating or moving, after that I'm just never hungry, maybe have a meal a day.
Orange-Kid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This was my college life. I gained an appetite once I started working a full-time job, but somehow, during those years before, I just never got hungry. I'd eat an apple in the morning and wouldn't even think to eat again until late that night.
bliblink182 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have my panda days when all I do is eat, and then I have my sloth days when all I do is breathe.
IHaveNowhereElseToGo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lost 50 lbs freshmen year of college. Only had a basic meal plan that was only open business hours. I could have walked a mile to the supermarket or ordered in, but that was too hard and expensive for me. This was also the time I pissed in my sink because I was too lazy to walk down the hall to the bathroom.
swordsandshields ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This. A lot of people are so willing to do anything to diet. Yet eliminating a meal or four a day would stave off all those love humps but they aren't willing to commit.
mommy2libras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have done this a lot. I'll cook dinner for the family, fix my daughter a plate, let my husband get is and then just eat what I want out of the cookware.
I don't know why. It's not like I won't have to do dishes anyway.
Furkel_Bandanawich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was so many times in college I wouldn't eat anything until dinnertime because I was too lazy to cook or drive anywhere to eat.
not_my_normal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I was like this, tbh. My response to boredom with nothing to do is to find something to eat or cook.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I... have also done this.
iggyboy456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I played WoW, I actually lost weight when I first started for the same reason. I didn't want to eat, I just wanted to play. I stopped playing very quickly
MarySwanson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I call the depression diet.
mardybum17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when I'm sick I lose a little weight because I am literally too lazy to get out of bed and feed myself. I just wallow in my sickness...
maxiszi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i was just too lazy to make myself something to eat, even though we have a microwave n stuff...
jackl00069 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:38 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You were finally full
tearisha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:00 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like me in art school
ThereIsBearCum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:43 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I put on 14 pounds because I couldn't be bothered eating anything that wasn't already in a packet
dylanbob5 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:56:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Anorexia is a serious condition. I'm pretty sure it's not in the same league as laziness.
trustmeijewish ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:59:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Im not anorexic I was a wrestler weighed 157 and after season i stopped working out and didnt feel like eating so i just lost weight
njayhuang ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:33:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I agree anorexia is a serious condition, but sometimes weight loss is just laziness.
Most people gain 15 pounds freshman year of college, I lost 15 pounds. I didn't have any body image/self esteem problems or whatever, I would just eat one meal a day because I was too lazy to go outside and get food.
Tycolosis ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:28:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is not that. its not fear of being fat or heavy rather just, forgetting to eat. Or being to lazy to make food to eat until you get really hungry.
ngwoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:46:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Anorexia (not anorexia nervosa) is simply any loss of appetite, if you're able to "forget to eat" you obviously lack an appetite. It could be nothing, but it could be a sign of something worse.
ibliz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's called a breakup
trustmeijewish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:19:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nope it was not
rattails ยท 3866 points ยท Posted at 05:53:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but a buddy of mine was laying in bed one morning. Picked his nose and had no where to put it - put it back in his nose.
[deleted] ยท 1566 points ยท Posted at 07:04:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who throws gold back in the mine?
Danisdaman12 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 09:00:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
thats like robbing a bank then making a deposit...
teeBoan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:07:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
why not, if the deposit is in your name? you are converting black money to white
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:23:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
fuckign racis
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:09:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They're called seeds, clearly you know nothing about growing gold.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, thats actually a good idea in some ways.
Shaggyninja ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:10:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah? Hide it in your mouth so nobody sees
qtya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:48:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A person who lives in a mine?
Mr0d0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude...
FattySnacks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:44:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
People too lazy to take it home.
Hank_Scorpion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't realize you keep snot
Najd7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The lazy.
little-evo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least he didn't eat the 'treasure'
jiggetty ยท 291 points ยท Posted at 05:59:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed way too much at this. Congratulations you've achieved a level of lazy few people will ever experience.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
but they may have seen Chris do it on Family Guy. (Late season 8 I believe)
IDrankTheKoolaid78 ยท 2294 points ยท Posted at 07:07:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Everyone knows the booger disappears if you don't see where it lands. Edit: Reddit, the magical place where even comments about flicking boogers can explode overnight. Thanks guys, my top comment is about boogers.
[deleted] ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 08:24:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
imjustjealous ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 09:22:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I gagged. A bit. A bit too much.
Dfry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:31:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You, sir, were a foul child.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your poor confused mother.
poo-poo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the crusty panty girl.
aloneinthedeep ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 07:53:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that, my last place of residence i thought i was the last one to live there, I made booger wall. Pick and flick art.
Note I gave the trailer to a homeless "friend" who tried to break into my new place. I even scraped my art off for him.
AlexBrallex ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 08:12:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I never want to experience that one.
How can man leave himself at peace when creating something that horrible..?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My stomache was tossing reading about boogers making art... I think that the threshold between picking boogers for art and boogers for ea;'
squezekiel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My husband had a booger wall at our old apartment. It would have been all fine and dandy, if it wasn't The wall 2 feet from the toilet.
Degru ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:37:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just sort of flick it under my bed. I don't want to go down there anytime soon.
jdsizzle1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:07:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
but it's always reassuring if you at least hear it click something. Then you know it made it.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 08:23:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to chuck my boogers across my girlfriends room. We broke up and she doesn't talk to me anymore. Probably unrelated though.
account_117 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:34:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe boogers are the key to inter-dimensional travel.
llewesdarb ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:33:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Toenail clippings, too. No one's ever going to look in that corner.
alexisaacs ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:58:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Which is why I always put them in a plate before eating them, I'm not savage.
juxtaposition21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:40:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Try explaining that too my wife.
somabrandmayonaise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:58:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Man, do NOT look under my computer chair then. I shudder to think what it looks like under there.
ridik_ulass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
the mites will eat it and other creatures that have built up an ecosystem around my gross habits
Iceman_B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Boogers > Newton
lightningboltkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair. This is solid advice. Some one should make a duck...
adeilt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:47 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Top comment by a factor of eight. Congratulations! :D
nothing_clever ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:11:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I swear, some day i'll vacuum them all up
enjoytheshow ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 07:23:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eat it.
MontyMidas ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:33:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is the most environmentally friendly solution
poompt ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 09:22:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is so obvious that his friend must be retarded.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:02:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I thought everyone did that!
Patrik333 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:18:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad seems disgusted if he catches me eating my bogies... he flicks them on the carpet. I walk around barefoot/in socks in the house and every time I remember what he does I feel sick...
His snot disposal method is far worse than mine.
abedwithwheels ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:59:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
if you wipe it on your bicep, you can let it dry and later flex over a trashcan. it is a strangely satisfying sense of power.
iamarouet ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:00:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Disgusting, but props. Too lazy to eat them, huh?
imissmyoldaccount ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 08:40:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oddly enough, this seem more disgusting to me than any of the other options. Just imagine putting that cold booger back in your nose, you could feel it sitting in there, taunting you.
rioba ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:41:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You've gotta eat 'em hot out of the oven.
RedAlert2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:12:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
even lazy people have standards
sleepnosis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:30:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then, after you left and nobody was watching...he probably ate it.
ironicallysad ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:16:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If ya don't know where to stick it, just flick it.
alexisaacs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:58:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't know where to flick it, stick it in your dick.
MetaLemons ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:04:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best reply.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are u just saying buddy because you're too lazy to make a throwaway?
Warslvt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:26:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I find it pretty interesting you used "u", but actually typed out "you're".
That shits weird, yo.
scykei ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:28:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's because u're is weirder.
DrScabhands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ur
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:34:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is always somewhere to put it.
threecolorless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done that. Pick, roll, and stow for later. It feels very different the second pick.
dadick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:54:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just curious how you know this. Did this come up in conversation or did you see him do it?
rattails ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:26:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened when we were deployed. It did come up in conversation - he was honestly pretty proud of it and it was fairly well known in our battalion.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Safekeeping.
wallaby007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your roommate is not lazy. He is an innovator. GENIUS!
Juicy_Pork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was he bragging about this or did you witness it? Either way, this man has no shame.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ryan848 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll usually flick it onto the carpet because I know the Hoover will get it when I eventually Hoover my room
hamsterwheel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
LOL OH MAN IM DYING.
jun2san ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good god this is hilarious.
Batatata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this a lot of the time, bu I just put in a place I know I won't touch like the tip of my nose or I just let it hang on my pinky like "surfs up dude"
kewigro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That also happens to be a Kyle Kinane Joke.
spiris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eat it. Obviously.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just eat it.
aaaaaaaarrrrrgh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's not as if humans have a meat cave with a flesh tentacle able to make stuff you put in disappear into a pool of acid or something.
WartyMcFartflaps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually put bogeys back up my nose so I could enjoy picking it for a second time.
DGunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me : "AAAHHHHHH GOD HELP ME"
Doctor : "GET THIS MAN SOME EYEBLEACH STAT!"
dolorismachina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not ashamed to admit doing this a few times myself.
EasyTigrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What good is mining nose gold, if he's not going to share it with the towns people?
ultimatetropper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that I rub that shit on my bed on the like side in the corner above my head where I know I'm never gonna be but where it's still on the sheet so next time I wash it there will be a fresh patch for my new boggers.
SSmtb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Boogie in the kitchen,
boogie in the hall.
Boogie on my finger,
wipe it on the wall.
xNotMyRealNameX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i wish i didn't read that...
captainfantastyk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kyle kinane?
bloodbag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this....isn't normal?
winterscuming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of my good buddies growing up used to pick his nose and put it behind his bed... Like for years. The way we found out was when we were fucking around in his room and something went behind his bed so me moved his be to grab it and the entire back of his head board was COVERED in old boogers, easily the groadiest thing I've ever seen
Gen_Hazard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't he just eat it? They're salty little snacks.
philosarapter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ew, just eat it already.
sydneysomething ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm crying from laughter
frrrni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ewww!
ihateslowdrivers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college, a roommate of mine used to pick his nose and just wipe it on the wall next to his bed. His wall was a disgusting minefield of crusty, bloody boogers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just eat mine, destroy the evidence.
MINI_COOP_S ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sigh... I call my dog to eat my boogers off my fingers so I don't have to get up. Downside is I have to reddit with one hand on the phone until the dog finishes noming on it.
Dumbledoree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once my cousin was eating a chocolate bar and some of it melted on his hands. He didn't want to wipe his hands on his clothes so he wiped them in his hair.
jomare711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Catch and release. Some day that booger will be worth putting on the wall.
ArmyOfThePharohs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"not me" nice save there
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:40:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now this is both classy and novel. This man deserves an award
wooden_leg_real_foot ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:42:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This...is genius!
chiropter ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:01:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actually somewhat sanitary
Reddits_One_True_God ยท 2884 points ยท Posted at 04:28:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Attached my dog's leash to my RC monster truck car and walked her around the cul-de-sac with it... all from the comfort of my living room. dont judge
DudeManBroSloth ยท 1330 points ยท Posted at 05:16:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you must have a tiny dog
Kuronjii ยท 1548 points ยท Posted at 05:46:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or a big RC car.
[deleted] ยท 1639 points ยท Posted at 06:35:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/u/Reddits_One_True_God is Grant Imahara from Mythbusters. His remote control car is a honda civic.
bondsmatthew ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 07:40:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn it, I thought you were serious and was about to tag him in RES as that.
Tundraaa ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 07:48:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still tagging him as Grant Imahara.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:25:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
how the fuck do you tag people? I always hear people talking about that.
grinde ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 08:34:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit Enhancement Suite
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:54:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
cool, thanks.
Godolin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:54:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to a much more interesting world, where you can remember someone's mistakes forever.
WatNxt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
warning... you'll be on reddit even more
infinite_minus_zero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TAG YOU'RE IT
DudeManBroSloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have that... but do I tag?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DudeManBroSloth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:23:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my god man. good description
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit Enhancement Suite
Reddit Enhancement Suite
gay porn
Reddit Enhancement Suite
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:33:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit Enhancement Suite.
Omgitsgunz ยท -30 points ยท Posted at 08:37:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
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JordansEdge ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:57:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, when I clicked the downvote all the link numbers came up and made a really cool pattern.
spontarific ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:03:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just you watch, this will now be the most downvoted comment ever
Penjach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I upvoted. IN YOUR FACE
thejess656 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks I would've never found it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gonna have to ask Grant to build a robot to do that for you.
flyingasparagus ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 07:11:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, he's Nicholas Cage
travisnotcool ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:30:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No that's the user's name.
RetroCorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:14 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, this is Patrick.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ZedekiahCromwell ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:49:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, I think he got it. He's just playing the role of straight man.
DeHussey ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:38:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
now thats humor!
play me off, johnny!
JordansEdge ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:56:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny's not here. He's in hell, Johnny, he, well, he liked little boys.
nermid ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:39:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a Top Gear joke in here, but I'm too tired to coax it out. Something something Morris Marina.
endercoaster ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:43:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It just occurred to me that Grant Imahara is what would have made Top Gear US watchable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think he's really into cars. I could be wrong though.
itsabirdplane ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:57:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The Owner's Club is gonna be pissed.
trl1986 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watch for falling pianos.
itsabirdplane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Those damn Helicopter movers.
hayz00s ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:29:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I want to believe
JooseBachs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:50:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And his dog? Also a robot.
Ahuva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's a myth!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
are you for real ?
MentalOverload ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I thought you were serious. That's what I get for staying up this late.
Throwawaymyheart01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really?
regalrecaller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Proof.
crow_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't go on the highway.
mcr55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How do you know
rbricks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure why but I read this as you being incredibly stoned right now and having your mind blown by this statement.
incsy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This kills the dog.
WaGgoggles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think /r/onetruegod would like to have a word with you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Surprised that thing hasn't broken like all of my RC cars
I_AM_TOASTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you serious?
gandalfv31415 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT!?
_HONESTLY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The dog hung on for a few laps....then just gave up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No he's obviously Gabe Newell or Nicholas Cage
turnups ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
RIP his dog
David920 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ooooh hey Grant
Lamppost5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did you read his username? He's clearly Nicolas Cage
Magmatron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He is nick cage, he summoned a magic one obviously, I mean he is the topic of /r/onetruegod so it only makes sense
RoRo24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:10 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really?
todd_therock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:04 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
proofs?
crimzin51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:17 on March 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
i dont even know why i'm telling you this. but i just upvoted you because i just found out i dont like the number 1500. it just doesnt sit right with me,
mtgpcs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:04:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He did say it was a monster truck.
mats852 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:15:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A Civic is a monster for an RC car
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:10:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
we need a banana for scale
MetaDefault ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm imagining a tiny poodle flying around corners with its leash connected to one of these.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jh7xPlxXd-I&amp;desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Djh7xPlxXd-I
Batatata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAVVVVVEEEEDDDIGGGGGERRRRRRRRRRRR
2pu200 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't argue, just ask for a banana.
Bru7171 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We're gonna need a banana for referrence.
yougotdied ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this would be funnier without the period
keksinhepokopterin ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or a big D
Darkwolf901 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He never said the dog went with the leash.
birdablaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The RC car is the dogs true master.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If he's been doing it since it was a pup then it'll continue to obey the RC car. It doesn't know that it's more powerful than the car.
Leathernecks ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 05:48:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My hunting dog would probably be so scared of it and would run away, dragging it along with him. Shotguns=all good. Anything else (ie fireworks, laundry Bins, chairs, etc) =run fo your life.
Potato_Mangler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:02:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your dog is a redneck
Leathernecks ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 07:04:45 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's unfortunate that you say that, mostly because he's probably smarter than you.
thedoginthewok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dog is scared of my RC cars. when I drive them in his direction, he runs away. But when I drive away from him he hunts them down and tries to bite the tires. He's a little crazy.
a_tiny_monster ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 06:32:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How did you pick up the dog poop?
...
You didn't pick up the dog poop, did you?
Wiggles7 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:03:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If a tree poops in the woods and no one is around to see it, do you have to clean it up?
enjoytheshow ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:13:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lady in my neighborhood growing up used to walk her dog while she drove in her car. I always felt bad laughing because I didn't know her situation or if she had a disability but holy shit, the image of a lady driving her car at idle speed with the dog on a leash coming out the window is one of the funniest things you will see in your life.
andespeciallythat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:43:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was it this woman? http://youtu.be/xIxLkAmmArY
enjoytheshow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from the US but it looked exactly like that. So funny.
baxtersmalls ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:24:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't lazy, it's genius.
ItIsWhatItls ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:59:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your dog must get really excited everytime you grab the RC remote.
Reddits_One_True_God ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:11:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, more of: he's at it again เฒ -เฒ
MisterEggs ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:58:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or he's thinking: sigh here we go again. another pointless walk around the cul-de-sac. doesn't he realise how boring this is for me? doesn't he understand that going for a walk is about sharing that time together, sharing our little adventure together? oh how i miss the days when i was a pup and he'd spend hours playing with me, where i was the centre of his universe, we would walk together for hours discovering things, meeting other humans and animals. I wish that one day just one day he would take me out again, like he did all those years ago. It'll probably never happen now, probably not before i die, or my body becomes too tired. I still love him though.... even if he doesn't love me as much anymore...
I'm not judging you, btw... YOUR DOG IS!
;)
GayMage ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:09:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The future is now.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:11:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too much work. Should just have used a Roomba.
InsertSomeName ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:28:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this guy who lives in my area I see every morning on a moped driving on the road with his dog on it's leash tied to said moped...though the dog doesn't seem to enjoy it and it pisses me off when I see the poor thing running at the speed he goes (legal street limit speed which I think 20mph due to it being a school zone as well).
Reddits_One_True_God ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:31:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me the rc car can barely go past 5mph haha and I'd be pretty angry too if I saw a dog being dragged by a moped
InsertSomeName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I realized that much, tying a dog to a toy car is one thing but to a damn street legal vehicle is absurd, I swear one day I am going to call animal control (or whoever I call) about animal abuse (if it is animal abuse).
digitalstomp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Call after you get some footage. Stop being lazy. It's not like this is a lazy thread or anything.
InsertSomeName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Heh...wait, goddamit...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:58:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dog is terrified of RC cars. She wouldn't not cooperate with this at all. My cars would end up dragging her if I tried, she's small and my cars are not haha.
Blinkkkk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I picture clifford the big red dog getting pulled around by a mini replica.
NickDownUnder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:01:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tied a tennis ball to my rc helicopter
Miles_Oh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is lazy on a new level. This is spectacularly lazy.
ridik_ulass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is the safer way to walk a dog with a car, you could drive a real car, along side the RC car, or have a friend drive while you manage the RC car
Moist_kitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're not The /r/onetruegod are you?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought an RC car for my dog to chase cause I didn't want to run. The only game she enjoys playing is run around the couch in circles. It worked well until she picked it up and ran off with it.
rufnek2kx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now all we need is a post on this thread from your dog saying "my owner took me walkies with his RC car. I sat on the car as he drove it around".
sevenofk9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did something similar with my dog. I'd let him out in the back garden, go to the second floor window, make him chase a laser pointer for 10 minutes, then I'd throw out some meat/snack and put the pointer on it. He got some exercise and the satisfaction of catching the nasty bright garden invader, I get to stay toasty indoors. Win.
schoooooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome
PorcelainToad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That would be hilarious to see as a neighbor.
MrEcho360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ha. Ass bag.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why am I the only one to ask if there was a camera attached?
frrrni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I need a video of this.
this_sort_of_thing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We need a video of this...but I know you're too lazy to make one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I HAVE to see a video of this.
Kidneyshotc ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:57:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually called a RC Monster El Camino.
bwfixit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:57:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy than is resourceful.
ironicallysad ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:08:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hi nick cage
computerglitch ยท 829 points ยท Posted at 04:32:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a nail that's directly behind my head that I hit everyday. It's been there for over a year.
Eddie_Van_Halen ยท 850 points ยท Posted at 06:30:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Try to nail it in with your head.
jacky4chan ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 08:36:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
DO NOT do this with too little force as it won't work, be sure to use full strength
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:15:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hit it with your eye for increased accuracy.
Derekborders ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:46:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least 16x as funny as the preceding comments lol
Ifyouletmefinnish ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 10:10:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What do you think he's been doing for a year?
Pianoangel420 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:25:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You really hit the nail on the head with that comment.
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:40:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You know they tried this in the 60's and it is still a bad idea. Unless you have a steel plate in your body of course.
NewDanger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:28:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I initially thought this was his intention.
RandomPrecision1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:16:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be hasty, he's just doing it...gradually, man
halloween420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:30:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Achievement get: Concussion
alexpotv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
NAILED IT!
SketchyReality ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:48:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Directions unclear, penis stuck on nail.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:56:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This changes everything. I need to reconsider the direction my life is headed.
Karma_collection_bin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you would be 'hitting the nail on the head!' Literally.
dspman11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No shocker that Van Halen would suggest this.
Turtley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't fracture your skull.
BigWil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:21 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's been trying.
kjata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:24 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, man. You hammer a nail with a nail.
Source: Fry
Ezziboo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:31 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eddie Van Nail-in.
SavingYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:09 on December 6, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
accioupvotes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This sentence made me cringe.
themusicliveson ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:56:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you haven't moved for a year, that nail is the least of your problems.
kw708 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:09:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
are you jesus
Super_Vegeta ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:34:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Plz explain.
chuckychub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing not the edge, but the flat piece.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:23:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Uhhh what?
cranklowza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:14:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Typing your comment took longer than removing the nail. You win.
JooseBachs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:57:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The damn thing just floats back there, ever present, waiting for the perfect time to stri- ow!
kieranblieran ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:05:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Larson?
LukrezZerg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:14:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
are you in the coffin?
findfind2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:11:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a vampire?
MetalPanda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:17:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now if you remove it, it would be odd because ur so used to it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:13:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Where
ironicallysad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:22:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe your just always hammered?... no?
:(
ms_rah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In the time it took you to read this thread... Or hell, even a few posts in this thread, you could have removed the nail....
CaptainIndustry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta fix that step!
Juslotting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The real issue is that you stand in the same spot and only move to hit your head on a nail.
demostravius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is that laziness of extreme stupidity?
Bashing my head the third time would get me angry enough to bash a hole in the wall to fix it. Then realise I broke the wall, so cover it up with a picture or something.
talon999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You hit the head on the nail.
arcticmankeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Soviet Russia, nail hits you on head
kje203 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:37 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's not about the nail...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:27 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining a nail floating behind your head wherever you go.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:41:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Out of all the posts in this thread, I think this one really hit the nail on the head.
SpiralingShape ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You hit the nail on the head
efhs ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:19:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some kind of "hit the nail on the head" based joke...
bounce580 ยท 3873 points ยท Posted at 03:58:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove to class. Escalators up to third floor classroom were broken. Went home.
[deleted] ยท 2524 points ยท Posted at 04:46:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to me one time at the gym. Figured I'd grab a doughnut and try again next month.
bulgarianbullshiter ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 06:42:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I drove to class and when I got in the parking lot I realized it was way too cold and windy to walk the ~100 feet to the building.
ohmygod_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:13:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I failed at college.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
North Dakota?
atmac0 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:15:23 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
North Dakota doesn't exist
BeboFamous ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 08:09:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I decided to go for a run once. Gotta stay fit! Ran to the dairy for a meat pie. Walked home.
Patrik333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Quite often, the only times I go out in a day is to walk to the convenience shop up the road... I live a lonely, fat life :(
BeboFamous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:49:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It gets better dude! Couch to 5k ahoy! How about walking to a convenience shop a little further away!
Usrname52 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've got the couch part down. It's that 5K (and the stuff in between) that I can't do.
Zomg_A_Chicken ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:33:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How was the doughnut?
KingCaspianX ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 08:35:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Albert Einstein
Catfysix ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 09:06:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Omg ily
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 11:26:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Flums ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:35:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What made you think people would find this comment funny?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's poetry.
Treypyro ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:33:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is too good, this sounds exactly like something I would do. Get all dressed up, go into the gym, sign in, look at the elevator with an "Out of Order" sign on it and then proceed to sign out, go home, and play video games.
TheSadVirgin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Next year
FTFY
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is such a defeating comment it's making me laugh hard.
reddit_is_my_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time if I can't find parking at the gym
CountFapula69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:53 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Bendrake ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:10:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I read this in Jim Gaffigan's voice.
gsuchemist ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 06:19:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't really make sense to me, I mean you were at a gym.. Haha.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:11:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
whoosh
superjennifer ยท 2339 points ยท Posted at 04:59:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
escalators can never break. they can only turn into stairs.
bananaslurg ยท 2133 points ยท Posted at 05:25:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for the convenience.
hyperfocusedbeast ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 07:12:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you have legs and are flammable you are never blocking a fire exit.
this4viewing ยท 618 points ยท Posted at 06:12:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I miss Mitch Hedberg.
bananaslurg ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 06:41:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We all do, buddy.
[deleted] ยท 636 points ยท Posted at 07:00:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to miss Mitch.
I still do, but I used to, too
GamerX44 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:06:17 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Woah.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:50 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
bmwatson132 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:47:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you, my friend, you win
Where-oh ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 07:30:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Obscure Mitch Headburg, reference here have an up vote
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 07:58:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT IS WITH THAT COMMA?!?!!!
Where-oh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:02:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put, commas, everywhere
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:05:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That was actually pleasurable to read.
Stebon24 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:20:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I read it in, Obama's voice, for some reason.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shatner for me.
creative_pigeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:14:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It makes you sound out of breath in my head. Stupid comma pauses.
benjammin29 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:20:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda like Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle.
ILikeMotorcycles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:10:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy named Mitch, this makes me happy <3
mrihearvoices ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
every. damn. thread.
Hitler1488 ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 07:43:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too druggy for me
jackskidney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Literally Hitler.
bhouse08 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:01:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:36:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend ask me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "no, but I might want a regular one later, so yes"
SirLockHomes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You would never see an "Elevator temporarily out of service sign", just "Escalator temporarily stairs".
BurtGingersnaps ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:01:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We apologize for the fact that you can still get up there.
spitfire07 ยท 477 points ยท Posted at 05:14:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're nothing more than an organized hill.
Garchompgirl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:35:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's like having a dead butler.
spitfire07 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:36:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey buddy, my butler died...
fishchunks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:32:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bet that was an inconvenience...
bittnerator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I too watch Jim Gaffigan
rageak49 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:48:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Something something overused food joke
kidmono ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:35:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To keep with the themes of laziness and Hedberg... "Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny."
Seismica ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:52:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes they put out of order barriers up. One of the steps might be loose or something due to component failure, it isn't always that they break down.
Zagorath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:06 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I believe they put the barriers up for liability reasons. The steps on escalators are much higher than normal stairs, so people are more likely to trip.
Seismica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:07 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I've seen a set of escalators where half the stairs were taken out for maintenance too, so theres that.
TalonKAringham ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:15:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mitch Hedberg is hilarious, but unfortunately that statement isn't quite true.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:29:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or, it could just implode on itself and take everybody down with it. There is a gif of it, but in the spirit of this thread, I won't post it.
superjennifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
thank you for finally realizing i was simply referring to Mitch's joke!
TalonKAringham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What is it that set's you apart from a standard jennifer?
superjennifer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i'm super, thanks for asking :)
creative_pigeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How long have you been holding on to that one?
superjennifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
actually used it in an earlier post asking where you got your username from... mine's from South Park & Big Gay Al saying he was "super, thanks for asking" so it just happened to be on my mind...
_vOv_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:15:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stairs that are way too high and has sharp edges! No thanks, I like my shin.
Joemaster240 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:09:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Escalators โ Stairs. Stairs are level steepness where as a broken escalator has uneven levels of steps which is annoying and much harder to walk up.
masasin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:07:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But I was stuck on an escalator for hours! It just randomly stopped. Explain that!
Notatruestory
nightmareoctopus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:42:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit. Have you seen the horrifying maw of gnashing death blades beneath those stairs?
DJUrsus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:18:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You'd think that's true, but I've seen several roped-off escalators. WTF.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
gargoyle30 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
RIP Mitch Hedberg :-(
beermeupscotty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
There was one of those big sandwich boards by escalators at the mall apologizing for the inconvenience that the descending escalator was broken. I went around the sign to walk down the escalator and immediately thought of this bit. Sigh, I will always miss Mitch.
Edit: elevator =/= escalator
MeanMrMustardSeed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, Mitch
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
superjennifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
perfect
Miss_Demeanour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So...what you're saying is that they can break?
dabaer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh well excuse me, Mr. Athletic...
stupidsxyflanders ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mitch Hedberg lied to you may he rip
IanCal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they explode.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What if the middle fell out?
iEatDemocrats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's temporarily stirs.
SamSmart135 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tell Debenhams that, their escalator was broken so they barricaded the top like people were going to just throw themselves down the stairs because they don't move for them anymore.
cowmeister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of lazy ass school has escalators? It's not like elevators which are necessary for people with a handicap.
roxasaur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:07:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The kind that has a McDonalds in the cafeteria.
bounce580 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was a nine floor building with thousands of people shuttling through it daily. Elevators would back up like hell, and there was only one. It was actually weird, because there were only elevators, and like the single-lane ones. Weird building.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a mall in Australia and they blocked off the escalator when it stopped running. Wtf.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
as someone who is under 5 feet tall, a broke escalator is basically like mountain climbing. the stairs are way higher/deeper/steeper than regular stairs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or meat grinders. RIP.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when they break they take the steps off of them to fix stuff.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You sure about that?
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=bc5_1312420246
(NSFL)
DoesntFearZeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:19 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I keep getting annoyed when they block off the new stairs
PirateNinjaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:49 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sometimes they break free and dump everyone at the bottom. see example at 40 seconds in this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ioHIlPgOS4
sideslick1024 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:36 on March 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Once in a local mall, an escalator broke apart.
An elderly couple was critically-injured when they fell into the machinery running the thing.
CrabbyBlueberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But they're defective stairs. The slope is completely wrong.
superjennifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
but you can still use them. it's not like if an elevator breaks, it's useless. an escalator just turns into stairs :p
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What if the traction fails? They'd be a rotating set of stairs that are completely unusable, like a giant treadmill.
40inmyfordfiesta ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 05:42:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your school has escalators?!
bounce580 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:00:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
It was one old building with nine floors. Only one elevator. The escalators were the crappy single-lane ones, too.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:56:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ahaha!! This made me laugh out loud. I can't tell you how many times I've driven 15 minutes to the gym, parked, said fuck it, and drove back home. Your story reminded me of that.
hild4wgg ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:31:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
drove to class, couldn't find a parking spot in the lot immediately next to the building, went home.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:29:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I often drive to class, park and wait until I finished my coffee (can't drink it in the lab) and then I realize I'm good alone and don't want to see people so I drive back home.
I am currently on reddit on my phone in the school's parking...
canihaveyourusername ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:12:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ. Being in the army, I get so fired up over posts like these. I used to have a heavy drinking problem and got sent to jail twice over being late for work. (30 mins, then 40 mins a few months later)
I can't wait to get civvy-side into a College or University.
jdsizzle1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:02:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went to class late one day, all the aisle seats were taken, walked out.
bounce580 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's great. You actually get all the way into class, but say "screw it."
jdsizzle1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
in my defense, I was battling a rough case of bronchitis that would have made me leave the room a couple times to have a coughing fit, so I didn't want to climb over people that many times to do it.
bounce580 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my defense I didn't want to go to class.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:11:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't meant to be
neon93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:27:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lazy college senior
micmea1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:43:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
some days you will find any reason to skip.
keithpetersen7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:22:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
drove an hour to get to school
five minutes late to class
couldn't find a spot up front
drove back home..
Meatt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Made it to my 8am? Take the rest of the day off.
Infer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well you de-escalated the situation. Ha.
ArsenalOwl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My app puts the words floor and classroom on different lines, so my tired brain read them as two thoughts. For a second I thought you were trying to tell me your classroom had broken.
OcotilloWells ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Epic!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
3 weeks ago I drove to class but I was about 10 minutes late so I napped in my car till the next class
Jellyman87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but if it drizzles outside, I don't go to class . . .
fightinscot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My best was showing up to school and there was a tour for high school students going on that used my lecture hall. The class had been moved to another hall in a building right next door. I didn't feel like fighting the crowd again and just went home.
There were also a few times where I had a early afternoon class and the parking lots were packed and I would have to park in the sketchy overflow lot about a mile away. So I again, drove home. 25 minute drive to class, then another 15 parking and on the shuttle and repeating the process all for a 50 minute class. Ain't nobody got time fo that.
jal0001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say this is as much lazy as it is (procrastinaty?).
hurricanekarina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should turn this into the Lazy Senior meme!
fapisfab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well that escalators quickly
poochz0rz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I drove to class in the city, and I could not find a parking spot to save my life, so I panicked because I didn't know the area well. I thought I'd have to drive too far away to know how to get to the building or remember how to get back. Drove home. Damn hockey fans messing with my education.
pantelic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove to class. Didn't find parking spot. Went home.
beforethewind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We were supposed to meet in the library for one economics class. I got there, puttered around in the lobby, knew damn well that they were back in the labs on the second floor and turned around. The only reason I went was because my friend and a few of her classmates confronted me and asked where everyone was. Was fully planning on leaving campus.
IntelligenceLtd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Murica
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In what kind of lazy place do you live that has escalators in schools/universities/colleges?
kylechastulik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I wish my school had escalators.
Parkodin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I often do the same thing expect I leave if I dont find a parking spot on the school grounds.
cheme0451 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did something similar. Drove to 8am class. No parking spots close to the faculty. Called it a day and went home.
fruitbear753 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like lazy college senior
KillPlay_Radio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of school has escalators but no elevator???
cuddles_the_destroye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You have escalators at your school? I always had to deal with stairs.
craznazn247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove to class, got there 30 minutes early. Decided to get on reddit outside the class while waiting. The class ended an hour ago and I was still sitting there...right outside the classroom on my laptop. Went home.
It was a productive day.
blobblet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove home. Escalators up to third floor flat were broken. Slept in the hall.
Theboardgamenerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once took a 45 min Train and an 30 min tram to class, door was locked, I could see an open door up the stairs, still went home.
Poopcatspoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your school has escalators?
Elfballer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The same thing happened to me. Except instead of the escalators being broken I was just too anxious. Went home and dropped out.
Occams_Quasar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
-You would never see "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sigh, just a "Escalator Termporarily Stairs. Sorry for the Convenience"
-Mitch Hedberg
Hardtorock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ili would give you the prize man
rachelspeaking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shoot...
Drove to class. Couldn't find a parking space the first go around. Went home.
TheModernEgg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha reminds me of the time I took the bus 45 minutes to school, stepped foot on campus, thought hard, turned around and rode the bus 45 minutes back home.
NappyJuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy who dropped a class because it was located on the fourth floor.
mildlyAttractiveGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Class only offered in the third floor of the only building on campus without an elevator. Dropped the class, retaking online.
LaserBeamHorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:56 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once lived 150m away from my school. It was uphill all the way. So I drove there every day for a year.
Jackrabbitnw67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:29 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lmu?
OldGilGunderson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:39 on April 26, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I've got a friend who has, on numerous occasions, gone home because he couldn't find a car park close enough to his class for his liking.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bounce580 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or looking for any excuse to skip class that day about 12 years ago, but whatever.
Sophrosynic ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:28:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The rest of these are funny. This one is sad.
tusksrus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:14:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you one of those people that stands still on an escalator and gets in everyone's way?
BallFaceMcDickButt ยท 2789 points ยท Posted at 03:51:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I've been sitting on the toilet for 45 minutes cause I don't want to pull my pants up.
Edit: Apparently a lot of people think this is gonna give me hemorrhoids. Well I hope that you're wrong but I want to assure everyone that at the moment my ass is okay
penis_in_my_hand ยท 1744 points ยท Posted at 05:53:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
your ass is gonna get crusty
batbreaker ยท 2680 points ยท Posted at 06:44:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Says penis_in_my_hand to BallFaceMcDickButt
SupremeToast ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 07:47:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad there are people like you who remind me to look at usernames.
CowardAndAThief ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:55:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
These people constantly remind me that my username is a reference that not many people will get, thus I am mostly seen as, well, A Coward and A Thief...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:57 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Amir?
CowardAndAThief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:14 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU
zeaga ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:43:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad there are people like you who remind me that there are people like him who remind me to look at usernames.
PenisFuckerNipple ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:34:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What's up?
GreatestQuoteEver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You peasants seem to be having fun.
44Diamonds ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:43:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's the Greatest Quote Ever!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:52:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did someone say dickbutt?
PlusOnex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That was a risky click...
slabh8r ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:45:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The most underrated observation of the day.
CuntyMcshitballs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:56:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They're good guys.
ziggy161 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:59:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
cue Barry White music
charlimonster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This might be my favorite comment ever.
penis_in_my_hand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:36 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
me too. i laughed pretty hard and only one of the names was a surprise
TheDanx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:58:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nocontext
polysemous_entelechy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Plausible names for experts in that field.
SamCropper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Says a guy with... A pretty reasonable and normal name.
Godolin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hehehe
Potato_Mangler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:31 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/worsewithcontext
keith_HUGECOCK ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:11:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I call that family.
frederickdiggory ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:14:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Im losing it right now at this comment
ANAL_ANARCHY ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:40:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not even sure what he's worried about, some people love crusty ass.
Leviathan666 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:55:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I love reddit for this very reason.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:38:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
SQUIRTnCIDER ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:27:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have never laughed so hard on reddit. Thank you. How do I give gold?
miken1ke ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I was as observant as you.
Aavenell ยท 329 points ยท Posted at 06:10:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
alexx3064 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:43:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you don't like Krusty Krabs
the_unfit_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yup.It's going to form a layer just like that.
TheHappyClown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:10 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to the internet. You must be new here
Samic_OWillie ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 08:32:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It only smellz
dickfoot ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:37:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Butt Crumbs
tenderbranson301 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You can wipe and wait. No delicious crust that way.
ramrob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:22:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is that why that happens?!?!
travio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:18:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, it gets much worse
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting read! Thanks.
Kalculator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:09:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
maybe he likes it like that
penis_in_my_hand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:48 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
crispety crunchety, peanut buttery?
NTRX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's the best part!
Leporad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:58:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's more comfortable to clean that way.
Magalabungalaho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:24:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wipe, then chill.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You have to develop a habit of wiping promptly, even if you have no intention of getting off the toilet for the next couple hours.
PoppinYourAsshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Five star post. Keep it up.
IceTwenty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And numb.
BionicBeans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
His ass is gonna fall out.
milleribsen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would be more worried about hemorrhoids in that situation.
threecolorless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pass enough time, don't have to wipe the grime.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It only takes 45 minutes? That explains a lot...
TooSexyForMySheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't matter. Didn't have to pull my pants up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I like Sheep
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who says he flushes 'em? I don't flush mine.
h0pCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
your ass is gonna
get crustyprolapse.I_AM_POOPING_NOW_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're telling me!
anal-cake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
All you need is to wet the toilet paper
sons_of_mothers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, thats what makes your butt crusty??
My problem has been solved.
aprofondir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
and your ballsack musty
SpitfireP7350 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm that ass is crusty after sitting for 1 hour and 35 minutes on the shitter, also god bless moist towelettes.
BRACKS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
too late
hopiesoapy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:00 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
See when i do this I wipe after I finish and then read reddit for another 20 minuets before getting up.
kylewilky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:09 on December 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wet wipes
getstonedplaygames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lol wtf... dude u wipe if your gonna be sitting there a while. even if you have to wipe some more later... ffs.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...But...that's the best part....
Giant-Robot ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good one for /r/nocontext
SayWhatOneMoreTiime ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:34:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You lucky son of a bitch! I only last about 25 minutes before the circulation cuts off to my legs and i have to get up.
LiveFree_Or_FapHard ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:22:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then you have that awkward walk when your legs are basically paralyzed. When the feeling finally starts coming back it's like every step you take you're hitting a funnybone nerve in your leg.
PantsOnFireMan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:05:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every fucking time! Every step just shoots pins and needles through your legs and you hate yourself for it but keep doing it.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I find this happens when I rest my arms on my legs. Next time try alternating or not doing it at all.
PantsOnFireMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't just go and sit up straight on the toilet. That means I'm putting effort into being on reddit and pooping.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:24 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's not like I didn't give options. Or you know, you could just take your legs falling asleep like a man.
SayWhatOneMoreTiime ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:22:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like a baby giraffe walking cuz of the tingling.
ohmygod_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly why my bathroom naps are only 15 minutes long.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:56:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How heavy are your pants?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:02:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's a bit rude, don't you think?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:31:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm talking to BallFaceMcDickButt, not you
BallFaceMcDickButt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:04:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just a regular pair of blue jeans with maybe a wallet in them
doublehyphen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Plenty of cash in that wallet then.
ThompsonBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Non-zero. Haven't you been paying attention in this thread?
2cats2hats ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:56:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Meh.. you have nothing on this woman.
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/23595533/
wickbok ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:46:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TWO FUCKING YEARS?! I couldn't even imagine...
2cats2hats ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:19:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
None of us here could imagine that....
CovingtonLane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:08:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We are not lazy enough. ... Or mentally ill enough.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:18:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:54:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
My_Gigantic_Brony ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:55:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, especially if you do it for extended time or strain. It's one reason why western countries have much higher incidence rate of hemorrhoids compared to countries where they squat (also diet / obesity and child birthing method).
good_piggy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:34:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I fell asleep on the toilet after a night out last week and woke up with a colossal hemorrhoid. Now I know why. Thank you <3
mommy2libras ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:12:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you're still pushing or you don't adjust after going.
By adjust, I mean lift up a bit so your ass cheeks aren't spread out wide.
Unless you just have those hemorrhoids that sometimes pop out when you sneeze sometimes. I have them and get them pretty often but not quite as bad as those poor people.
garbonzo607 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:23:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a bit...ahem...stout?
mommy2libras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. I'm actually fairly small so when I sit on the toilet and one ass cheek is on each side of the toilet seat, I'm all spread out like some doctor is about to go prospecting. If I sit normally on the toilet like I would on a chair, my ass is pressed together and I feel like I'd get shit all over. This may have something to do with me being really short too- I think I sit differently on the toilet because there are many of the I've been on where my feet don't reach the ground.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:13 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, that makes sense. I thought it might be going one direction or the other.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
are yummy
MeAndMyMoose ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:57:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Having a smart phone has caused my bathroom breaks to become increasingly relaxing and very long.
garbonzo607 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good ol' fashioned magazines never hurt anyone. Are you afraid of reading?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:23:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, please pull your pants up. Sitting on the toilet to long stretches your anus which has drying poop on it. It will rip your anus like chap lips. And it hurts.
ailish ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:20:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about everyone else, but when I sit on the toilet for awhile because I'm lazy/playing on my phone, I wipe when I'm done pooping, flush, then sit there for 15-20 minutes.
way_fairer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:37:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just take them off. Problem solved.
Kangala ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:50:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Worst parts when you finally decide to get up, but realize your legs fell asleep
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:15:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sit on the toilet for extended periods of time at work, just to delay the inevitable. I hate my job.
BallFaceMcDickButt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What's your occupation?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:17 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, same.
GoodNewsNobody ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:37:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hemorrhoids.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:02:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Crusty butt hairs... Oh yes
northies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Elvis had the same problem
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Also a long pooper. So far I've done pretty well. My anus is doing good!
knittingnola ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:49:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You can get hemroids by doing that.. Beware!
princessjinifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I do. My family doesn't seem too pleased with me every time. :(
blackhawk00001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, how do your feet and legs not go numb?!
BallFaceMcDickButt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:05:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I guess it's cause I praise Talos before every meal
pinchandroll1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is so much better because your name is BallFaceMcDickButt
dogateit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The perimeter of your ass is going to be so red.
DatJazz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've just gone back to bed even though im late already
RyogaXenoVee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ive been there. No kidding.
coolguy100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
been there
ElegantPete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Careful, you can get hemorrhoids like that... Or so I hear. :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How are your legs not gone to sleep?
Im_Currently_Pooping ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeeeaaaahhhhhh
robertjohnson06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sat on the toilet playing Pokรฉmon for so long that I actually had to shit again.
kolachesgalore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How are your legs still awake??
ChiefCoolArrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your legs don't go numb?
ChuckS117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this A LOT years ago but it was because I was playing with my Gameboy.
Deckkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I dont go to the toilet because I dont want to pull my pants down.
regalrecaller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
And this is how you get intestines hanging out your anus. Forget what it's called...a little help?
Edit: prolapse. A prolapse is what it's called.
techietalk_ticktock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Porno bloopers reel?
regalrecaller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, like there was a weightlifter that pushed too hard on a squat and he farted his bowels out (literally) in front of everyone at a competition. I think this happened in the mid-2000s.
PROLAPSE! Thanks reddit, for helping me remember.
Prolapse is what I meant.
shano1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think we've all done that before. I have a galaxy tab, it's awesome for squat surfing.
DICKFACE_McSHITBONER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did something similar yesterday
Sosa794 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you'll get haemorrhoids, good luck
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's gonna be some harsh pins and needles.
Zemedelphos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been a toilet-seat gamer for the past two and a half years.
Trust me, sitting on the toilet longer than you need WILL give you hemorrhoids.
xaverherold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In reality you probably had a smartphone or something to read with you to entertain yourself but in my imagination you just sat there staring at the door - refusing to pull your pants up.
craznazn247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like the reason why I don't take my laptop when I go to the bathroom anymore. This happens every time.
this_is_my_username1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How is sitting on the toilet different than sitting on a chair? Like how does sitting on a toilet increase the chance for hemorrhoids?
wookiewin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Warning about hemorrhoids has been all the rage this week.
daBroviest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I accidentally hit tab when I saw this comment, and it put me back at the top of the page. Instead of scrolling down I went into Terminal and made a code to find your username and position the window there.
Took probably another minute more than it would have if I scrolled down.
stabbacat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After that long it's nearly time to poop again. Might as well just wait.
Irrelevant_muffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:48 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been regularly sitting on the toilet for hours reading boos for the past 13 years or so. No hemorrhoids, your butt should be fine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:34 on April 30, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Please note, that's for the moment. I've developed hemorrhoids because I take too long of poops and poop too hard. It happens man. Protect your anus, take shorter shits.
BallFaceMcDickButt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:00 on April 30, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Dude this post is 5 months old. How the hell did you even find this?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:46 on April 30, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Hemorrhoids always find a way man.
BallFaceMcDickButt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:53 on April 30, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even want to know how you found me anymore. I'm just going to imagine you're my guardian angel.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:07 on April 30, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Just watch your anus and all will be well.
tassy1331 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do that too! And it's comfy (especially if the toilet paper roll is positioned well and you can use it as a head rest) Nothin' like browsing reddit for a long time on the loo coz you're too lazy to move to the computer :P
annoyedbylife ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:43:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your name is amazing
TightAssHole234 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:16:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you perhaps secretly a closeted gay homosexual?
BallFaceMcDickButt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm I don't think so. At least not last time I checked.
TightAssHole234 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:27:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How exactly did you check?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Im sitting on the toilet right now. Its 11pm where I am, I should go to bed but I think i'll stay here. Another couple hours on the toilet cant be that bad.
EDIT: forgot "the" before toilet.
el_pepe ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 05:40:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this just isnt funny
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:02:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who said it was meant to be?
-eDgAR- ยท 1621 points ยท Posted at 03:41:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I woke up about 30 minutes late and called in sick to work instead of rushing to get ready for the day.
gugacmv ยท 470 points ยท Posted at 06:00:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This happens to me way too often.
dreamingdarling ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:24:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
happens to me but it pertains to my classes instead. i probably skip about 3 classes on average per week due to my laziness and lateness
DHLucky13 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 07:45:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Oops, woke up 5 minutes later than usual. I don't want to come in late and disrupt the class so I might as well skip it. And if I'm not going to my first class there's no reason to waste my time driving to campus to go to only two classes If I have to come back later anyways." And that's how I end up skipping my first 3 classes entirely too often.
Autodidact420 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:17:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back in high school, I was literally told (my school was very lenient btw) that if I missed two more days I would fail automatically, which was a pretty huge deal obviously. I had literally no reason to skip other than I'd wake up a few minutes late and just say "Well, might as well not go to school today."... although I did go if there a test in the afternoon after lunch.
I was valedictorian. LOL.
Lulxi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:28:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is me right now. fuck
Some1Random ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:33:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah this is how college took me an extra semester to complete... stupid snow and sleeping late.
MotionPropulsion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's precisely why I schedule my classes to be in the late afternoon.
Thesupersalsa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was always told "when you get a real job you won't be able to stay home just because you don't feel like going to work" ... My life is a lie
big_phat_gator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You work for 50-55 years, a few days here and there wont matter....
macogle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:42:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll take your job if you don't want it.
boomerxl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once when my bus was late and I couldn't be fucked dealing with the later "school run" train.
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of the many, many reasons retail is a fucking joke. Everyone I know who works or has worked retail (myself included) calls out. I especially love the fucked up hours you get, never 9-5 or something close. It's like 3-10, 1:45 - 5:!5 / 5:45 - 10:10. I'm glad I have a real big boy job because.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You need to get good at just telling it like it is. "Sorry I'm late, I woke up late." You have to truly not give a shit this happens, or feel bad about it. It's really not a big deal. If someone makes a stink, ignore them.
8bitSandwich ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 06:23:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At my job if I'm 11 minutes late I just call in. It is the same points on the attendance policy, so why go?
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 07:27:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Dreadgoat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:07:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a company with a similar policy once. It has hilarious consequences. E.g. new-ish guy walks in 15 minutes late, rushing, breathing heavily, apologizing. HR tells him that he is getting an absence strike. An absence strike? Yep, that's the policy. Guy walks straight out and says "see you tomorrow." Fast learner. Company loses 7.75 man hours for no reason.
Queen_Gumby ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:50:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A company my husband worked for had a point system. 2 points if you were late or left early (regardless of the reason) and 3 points if you were absent.
His supervisor had some kind of appointment in the morning, so he came in late. Then he had to go the same afternoon to follow up on whatever he had done earlier that day. He came in to work in between and got 4 points when he could have just stayed home and only gotten 3.
shibbee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:08:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why 11?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:59:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's one more than ten.
itsamutiny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You only get paid if you go in.
PoopAndSunshine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because you'll lose that day's pay on your check?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:09:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Salary?
PoopAndSunshine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good answer.
theoldnewbluebox ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:01:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
God damn i have had food poisoning so many times too!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:39:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school if you were late often they would make you go to lunch detention. So if i couldn't make it to school on time i would just turn around and go home.
rdubyeah ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:12:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hello me in college. "Damn, you mean I'd have to rush my shower?". "Nope."
i_am_hymenberg ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:59:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did that for the first day of a new job, it was raining, just decided I wouldn't take the job. Stayed in bed and watched the Simpsons all day.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:15:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this even when I'm actually awake but too lazy to get up.
Karolinkaa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:49:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I miss so many classes...
angrykittydad ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:52:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did that a few times until I finally ended up at a job where I'm allowed to come in and work on my own time, when I feel like it, and nobody ever asks me anything about my hours, as long as I show up to pre-planned meetings which are about once a month and usually at like 2:00 in the afternoon.
I guess what I'm saying is... the dream job exists, man. Keep searching!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:44 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dwolf555 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:40:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We've all been there
samsreddit92 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:58:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is how I lost my job
xpinballwizard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:00:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this when I realize I'm going to be late for work.
I've literally been outside the office doors, looked at my watch and realized I'll be five minutes late when I sign in, so I pull out my cell phone and tell them "Hey. This is xpinballwizard. I'm sick. Can't come in today", as I'm getting back in my car to drive home.
Rock_Me-Amadeus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:59:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I consider it a measure of my own personal progress over the last five years that I don't do this any more.
Toni_W ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:14:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend did this but didnt call in and just took the termination :(
please-downvoteme ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:38:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Doing it right now
EpicToastable ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Being a senior in high school with pointless classes, this is my life.
ItIsWhatItls ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:27:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Guilty
Bree-Rad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:36:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll leave work to go to class... If I'm more than a couple minutes late I just go home
eric22vhs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty much how a third of my vacation days get used. At the same time, depending how your job is with attendance, you're in just as much trouble for being a half hour late as you are calling out.
Kryptosis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:41:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Turns pain into relief like that!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:59:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's how most of my sick days occur.
PoopAndSunshine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:01:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am always on time for everything. Running late gives me terrible anxiety. Especially if I'm driving. I used to have a telemarketing job that tolerated a lot of absences. If I wasn't going to be at least 15 mins early, I just said fuck it and called in sick. This happened a lot.
dissidentrhetoric ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:01:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I also get terrible anxiety from taking days off work sick too often.
dsiOne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:23:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, lack of sleep can lead to illness...
gonnapie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:51:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used to do that. But i was depressed, and calling in sick a lotta times made me feel shittier.
gotacastleinbrooklyn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:14:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to me with class once or twice, "gonna be 15 minutes late? Might as well skip the 2 hour lecture"
Alex4921 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:22:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is it just me that can't take a sick day or get fired...any sickness short of plague I gotta go in.
Guess working in a medical facility(Pharmacy) has its disadvantages
hzwwwc2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:53:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
been there done that
xwgpx55 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:34:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha. At my job, the only thing that matters is being here on time - not performance, quality of work, or efficiency.
That being said, There's definitely been a few times where the hassle of trying to make up a legitimate reason why I was late was not even worth it.
MrRandomSuperhero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:57:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Uni in one sentence
borkk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:12:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did that yesterday...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i'm doing this right now except school
timthetollman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was drinking last Thursday. Was supposed to work Friday at 9am, woke up at like 1:30pm, called my boss. Got out of bed, did a circle in my living room and went back to bed. Woke up at 6pm and just watched Netflix on my tiny phone screen until I fell asleep again.
mabramo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been doing this too much lately. Good thing I just remote into my workstation from home. IT has its benefits.
Jaydeybabey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this more times than I'd like to admit.
Lord_Smaximus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is me in high school. Big time.
Jota769 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have so done this.
langerdan13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Duvet mornings. These are essential for morale. At this stage I can text my boss so I don't have to wake up too much.
throwcolorado ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, try again tomorrow
cdlrosa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me from yesterday?
Bayardina ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday for me.
odd-e ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:54:08 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
adding to my res tag for you for headbutting girls and stealing alcohol
coldhandz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have been doing this since high school. Basically if I don't get up on time, the entire day is cancelled.
Hydraskull ยท 974 points ยท Posted at 03:05:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Faked mono for four months so I wouldn't have to do ANYTHING.
StarshipAI ยท 773 points ยท Posted at 05:31:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Real mono takes away all your fucks. Strangest Illness I ever had.
jessticless ยท 328 points ยท Posted at 06:08:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely agree. I have never had so little energy. I showered and was too tired to put clothes on so I slept in a towel, on top of my covers, on the end of my bed
123dmoney123 ยท 351 points ยท Posted at 06:28:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So it's just a constant morning. Fuck that shit
TheBraveLittlePenis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Constant Monday morning.
[deleted] ยท 213 points ยท Posted at 07:18:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
It's hard to describe mono to people who haven't had it. The complete and utter lack of energy you experience makes it sound like a total exaggeration when it's really not.
There were points where I had so little energy that I couldn't move a couple inches to make myself comfortable while lying down, and just fell asleep how I was. And other points where I would just lay in bed for hours staring at the ceiling because I didn't have enough energy to literally do anything.
jessticless ยท 130 points ยท Posted at 07:40:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to text my best friend and tell her why I wasn't at school and literally couldn't move my phone closer and type. I fell asleep twice before I finished the text.
Hyro0o0 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 09:04:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds dangerous. If a wild animal had burst into the room would you have been able to summon the energy to flee?
macogle ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 09:45:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HELL no.
I would have welcomed death, personally.
42thegame ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:35:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have mono right now and I wish a wild animal would run in the room and kill me. Fuck mono
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How many naps did you take while writing that?
42thegame ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:09:06 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the car getting driven home from college so like 4
GrooveMasterFunk ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:37:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely not. When I had that shit I was so sick I couldn't eat or drink because I was so tired because I couldn't eat or drink because I was so tired. Deadly cycle.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono is terrible. I spent weeks bleeding from ny throat. ... I did pass the most relieving blood clot ever at the end
QU4Dv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:16:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How do you PASS a blood clot? Did you cough it up?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. It fucking sucked I don't know how I didn't choke to death on it
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not something people typically take pictures of.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:43 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But this is reddit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:52 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
True, I was 17 at the time with no phone. :) would have been a cool thing to get a picture of if I didn't have mono...
QU4Dv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did it cause pain or did it just feel weird?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of pain. Very slimy
12ozSlug ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:50:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wow so pain
such slimy
wow
occamsrazorburn ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:01:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I experienced all of this on several occasions in college. I'm now wondering if I had undiagnosed mono.
H2Sbass ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:42:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If it happened on several occasions, then no. Mono is like chicken pox, you only get it once.
ginger-snaps ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:36:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're a lucky sun of a gun like me! I've had two lab confirmed cases. It doesn't get any more fun.
H2Sbass ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:47:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're an exception to the rule. Some people do get chicken pox more than once too. Pretty rare though.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:05:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just experience this for about two days every time I have a fever. But that's not mono, that's just some different viral infection every time.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:31:19 on December 7, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Depression pulls stuff like this. At the end of my freshmen spring, I fell into bed and didn't get out for like three days.
boredextremely ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:14:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like where I was with depression. Except every couple days I might have energy to feed myself.
Blargosaur ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:34:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my entire second semester of college :/
tludin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:49:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had it when I was still single. Couldn't drink for a couple days to I set out to start an IV on myself. Despite being a medic it's harder than it looks to do it one handed when you're that weak. Ended up getting blood everywhere in the process which I then soaked up into a RATM t-shirt and discarded
A_perfect_sonnet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:22:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I had it, after a week I finally managed to get in my car and drive 2 blocks to campus where they had a clinic.
Clinic tested for mono, came back positive, but refused to write me a note. Call my parents, they say tough shit. I had to drive my mono-tired ass an hour and a half to the doctor, manage to stay awake through the appointment, and through the hour and a half drive back. Those 4 hours were the most I had been awake in over a week, combined.
My boss's kids get pissed when she wont drive an hour back and forth to do their laundry for them at college. I always pull out the stories of my parents when she gets in "I'm a horrible mom" mode. Not that mine were terrible, I always had food and a place to sleep, but they certainly wouldn't drive to my college apartment to do my laundry for me.
seabeehusband ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:21:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had it when I was 12, my mother had to hold my head up at times and feed me. Yes the total lack of energy would be frightening if you even had the energy to be frightned.
Radioactivetire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:08:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like me when I was taking effexor.
lordcvicek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:28:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had mono when I was 16. I was tired as fuck most of the time, but I had it at the hight of my wow addiction back in vanilla. That gave me time to grind honor ranks for the almost free epic mount (becouse I was broke and could not afford it the normal way). Some of the best times ever. Just sat on the couch drinking tea and gaming for hours upon hours. But boy was it an expirience when I could eat my first solid food in weeks.
tldr: WoW > mono
eneka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:32:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like what happened to me a couple weeks ago, but the doctor said it was the flu...first time I have ever gotten it.
reddit_alt_username ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I tried to pretend I didnt have mono. The doctor at uni said it was the worst case she had ever seen and promptly shot me up with steroids. Even with steroids I spent almost the entire month in bed. Fucking terrible.
Itsthejoker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So true. I described it as feeling like my entire body shutting down -- I would be able to go until about 5 o'clock and then whoomph all energy gone. I had to get help to walk to the bathroom and back, a whopping 20 feet from my room.
bitterred ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:53:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What's weird is now I can spot mono in other people from a mile away. I've diagnosed three different people who came back to me a few weeks later and were like, "Yeah, I have mono. I'll see you in a few months."
Hand1r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono was the worst experience of my life. There were many times I would get up, walk over to get a glass of water, get back on the couch, fall asleep before I got to drink the water.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing happened to me too. I also had to eat nothing but soft foods since, if I could muster the energy to eat at all, I couldn't muster the energy to chew food.
Hand1r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The sore throat was the worst, though. I texted my dad every morning BRING ME THE STEROIDS.
TheDoktorIsIn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I had mono, there was food in the freezer in the garage but I was too tired and too sensitive to the cold to get it. I'm pretty sure my lunch was oreos.
So, great success.
Milkjars ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
During my senior year of high school, I came down with mono two days before my first anime convention. I had paid for everything already and didn't want to waste the money so I went. Worst idea ever, I couldn't talk or eat. I could barely walk around the hotel or even get into the outfits I made. I would fall asleep randomly in the hotel and no one wanted to share a bed with me so people ended up sleeping on the floor to let me have the bed.
Luckily, after the convention was when i got the worst part of the disease. I agree though, you give no fucks with mono.
Ihadtosayit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had mono once and never even knew it. I was working a labor intensive job the entire time too. I went to the doctor for something completely unrelated and it came back that I had just gotten over it.
kyrbayn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Most accurate description of mono... my dad would yell at me to move when I had mono. I just couldn't!
JBurrows_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:57 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was bedridden for almost 2 weeks. The first week I'd sleep for hours on end, then only have enough energy to roll over. It was miserable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:58 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Now that I think about my last comment is invalid, I didn't get out of bed for a week . Wouldn't get up to eat, got up to piss, refused to shower because I knew I'd pass out. I actually kind of liked it besides the whole swollen ass throat
Nigger_on_reddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
what the hell is mono?
Remued ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Australia we call it glandular fever...
moderatelime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infectious_mononucleosis
PagingDoctorLove ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 07:25:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono sounds a lot like chronic depression.
jessticless ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 07:41:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Having also been through chronic depression, I can tell you that mono is worse.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:56:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've also had both, but depression was worse for me. While both took away any and all energy or motivation to anything besides breathe and occasionally move my eyeballs, at least with mono I didn't contemplate death 18+ hours a day on top of it.
jessticless ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:51:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I meant the physical aspects of mono were worse, probably should have clarified
Cocky_Douchebag ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:53:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Jesus christ that sounds fucking horrible.
reeblebeeble ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:30:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The physical tiredness and pain is worse, but mono was a strangely spiritual experience for me. I think as long as you are able to willingly submit to the fact that you need to do nothing but rest, it can be weirdly enjoyable. After the worst was over and I started to get better, I was happier than I'd ever been. Also, with mono, you never have the underlying sense that it's YOUR FAULT you have it. And you can be confident that it'll be mostly over in a month. So if I could choose between depression and mono, I would definitely choose mono!
RamonaLives ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:05:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The best part of mono is in fact figuring out who may have given it to you and then yelling at them for a few seconds, using all the energy you can muster. Then you need to nap for a week, but it at least makes you feel better about yourself.
(And I know it's incredibly difficult to pin down where it came from in real science terms, etc., etc., but that doesn't make it less satisfying.)
reeblebeeble ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:17:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
First boyfriend. Lovely guy visited me on exactly one occasion during my month of pain, waited until I got better, then broke up with me. Yeah, I wasn't so smart.
Cocky_Douchebag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono sounds like a good time. Do nothing but watch tv browse the internet and get high.
StarshipAI ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You won't have enough energy to change channels, or load a bowl.
CovingtonLane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Except it sort of is. It's called the kissing disease for a reason.
And you can't be confident with depression.
reeblebeeble ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:15:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Excuse me for not feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt about not investing in mouth-condoms while dating someone who had had the disease at least 8 months earlier and didn't think to mention it.
That was the implied point of the comparison, yes.
My point was that depression, for me at least, comes with a bunch of nasty thoughts about self-blame which feel much worse than the physical tiredness.
Mono, as well as making me tired, gave me the perfect excuse for being tired, and I no longer had need for any depressive guilt. In that particular circumstance, having mono may even have saved me from spiralling into a depression. I got it a few weeks before summer break, dropped out of all my classes, and all I had to do for a few months was rest and take care of myself, guilt-free. It was brilliant.
Iloveeuph ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:51:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I had mono and was walking up the stairs for a nap I said fuck it, lied down on the stairs (vertically mind you so I was on multiple steps) and took a nap.
admiral_snugglebutt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:47:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wished I could've slept more often when I had mono. Sometimes I could, but usually I couldn't. Usually I was just so tired I had to lay down.
However, thanks to depression, I got a head start on my mono-- I spent the week before it mostly laying down and I think it actually made my mono go away faster.
saucydragon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:19:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's why I spent all of my mono times in a bathrobe if I could help it. At that point, it's like fuck clothes.
What didn't help in my case is that twice a day for a week I was going to to a clinic for intravenous fluids and painkillers, and on top of that they had me on steroids to bring the gland swelling down...so between the dehydration from not being able to swallow fluids between clinic visits, and the insomnia resultant from the steroids, I actually ended up hallucinating and crap.
Strange times.
admiral_snugglebutt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:48:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You couldn't swallow at all? Jesus. Why did they only give you fluids twice a week? It seems like they should have just given you a constant IV drip.
saucydragon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:57:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oops, sorry that wasn't very clear. I went in twice per day for a week straight, so like morning and night I was there. They didn't really have the resources to keep my 24/7, it was one of those downtown 24 hour clinic type deals. But they left the little IV hookup thing in my wrist to cut down on time getting me set up, which was kind of gross and sore.
pigmerlin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:35:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was pretty lucky with it because it only lasted two weeks of very sick with another two after that of just being tired but still functional. But, when it was really bad my eyelids got really swollen and watching tv or reading gave me a headache so I just sat in my bed and pretty much meditated for 3 days straight. Only drank water and gatorade too. Weird times.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:45:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think I've just worked out what's been wrong with me since I turned 22 (30 now)
Wanderlustttx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:18:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do that...all the time. After-shower naps are the best.
AJockeysBallsack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:34:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The only times I moved while I had Mono was when I had to use the bathroom. Taking a dump usually ended up as a 3-hour nap on the throne. A month of my life, just a blur unsatisfying sleep.
Ihsahn_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I can totally imagine someone just walking in on someone asleep in the toilet. Especially because I had it myself, and it was so tempting at times.
ico2ico2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:46:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is my entire life. I'm not infected, just lazy.
MysteryRedhead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:32:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm like that normally...
taekwondogirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I had mono, I didn't even realize I had it. I thought it was depression/exhaustion from moving. I'd get up every day, shower, take a nap, get up and not actually do anything. Then I'd cook something when my boyfriend got home, we'd eat and then he'd play video games while I slept on the bed next to him. Then I'd get up and get ready for bed and we'd go to sleep. Never occurred to us because we're dumb.
SaucyPotato8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:08:48 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had mono in 6th grade, fell asleep in the shower one time and mid conversation in another.
ThePhantomScrotum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:36:54 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like how fatigued I was in my first trimester of pregnancy. There was one week where I only left bed once to shower. And while in the shower I didn't have the energy to condition my hair so I just shampooed then sat on the floor til I had the strength to crawl to my towel.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So, marihuana?
Ilikecookiessomuch ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 06:07:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm here, at one point you just get to the point of "Fuck it, I'm sick, I don't need this shit." Except that feeling occurs everyday for 6 months (or at least that was my experience).
knittingnola ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:53:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yep I've had it. You basically turn into a corpse. I have vertigo so being paired with it I was in hell.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:33:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
knittingnola ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:26:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Went to a neurologist and did all these weird tests and he gave me this maneuver I could do to help with it. He also told me to stop eating so much salt and gave me this antivert pill which helps. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy though. It's worse than a hangover minus the fun part.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
knittingnola ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah the eply but I hate it and it always hurts my neck. The somersault really works?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
knittingnola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a very small chick. Thanks so much!
Seamitch51 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:34:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah I was sick for roughly 9 months with it. At first you think you can keep up because you're feeling a little better. Then you crash for a week.
keithpetersen7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:29:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
damn.. why does it last so long?
immatreex ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:52:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono is caused by the Epstein-Barr virus. It's a form of the Herpes virus that lies dormant in you forever. Something like 80% of the world is infected with this virus, but only around half get mono from it. God I love microbiology.
GreatestQuoteEver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:53:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds fucking scary. How can I keep it from ever developing?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:44:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fire, and lots of it.
immatreex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:21 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
The virus is a DNA virus. It can hide in your cells from your immune system and lie dormant for a very long time, and in some cases forever without showing signs.
Edit: sorry, took out the part about the cold sores, I thought I was in a thread about herpes simplex type 1. The rest still stands though. :)
GreatestQuoteEver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:45 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for sharing
kotorfan04 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:30:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What are some possible ways to contract the illness?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono is commonly called the kissing disease but you can get it from anything really. Drinking fountains, sharing drinks/food, any exchange of bodily fluid I presume.
immatreex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:42 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Contact is the most often way to contract it. Kissing, touching, etc. Even if you don't have a break out and you have the virus, you can pass it along to someone else. It also can be passed from mother to child during vaginal birth if the mother has herpes simplex type 2 (genital).
bmartin1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So your telling me 80% of the world has herpes?
immatreex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:27 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, at least that's what we were taught in Microbiology. My teacher liked to put it like this: look around you, only 2 in 20 people here don't have the virus, but they'll most likely get it eventually.
Seamitch51 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:30:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It never really gets out of your system. It just goes dormant.
ohmygod_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom and her controlling ex boyfriend made me be better waaaaay faster than I should have. Also, if I was on the computer it was a sign that I could be at school.
feraxil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:44:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I had mono 2 years ago and had no clue. Kept working.
admiral_snugglebutt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do people work with mono? I don't understand how you could. I got it over the summer when I was in college, so I wasn't working anyway. How could anyone work for 6 months?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
admiral_snugglebutt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:57 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eesh. I have heard you get better much faster if you force yourself to stay in bed 23 hours a day as soon as you get sick.
swimmingmunky ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:33:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I had mono I was too weak and tired to drink water. I ended up having recurring hallucinations and dreams that I'd somehow gather the energy to get a glass of water only for the glass always be empty when I tried to drink from it. Then I'd wake up, try to get some water, and the glass would be empty again. Then I'd wake up again....repeat. It was inception-like. It's the only thing I can remember from the 5 weeks I spent on the couch. I really should have been the hospital.
enjoytheshow ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:21:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am a pretty busy and outgoing person but I have never been more apathetic in my entire life than when I had mono. I honestly didn't want to talk to anyone, see anyone, or do anything for like 8 weeks. So bizarre. Completely altered my life for two entire months.
PoliteSarcasticThing ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:35:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't notice I had mono until the doctor told me. I just felt tired all the time. :|
Dantron94 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:11:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
that explains so much right now
wolfofsteppes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:20:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. I got a head-to-toe rash from being misdiagnosed and given the wrong antibiotics. Then the steroids I had to take to get rid of the rash brought back my acne that is finally starting to go away again almost two years later. Bonus: the steroids made me cry! The being sick part was just like being super sick and not wanting to do anything at all, including eat (hence, losing a lot of weight). I was only out of school for about a month though, so I guess it really could've been worse as far as mono goes.
Cerberus_RE ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:45:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's so awful. Worst pain I've felt yet.
CovingtonLane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:27:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like the "yet" tacked on. Smart person. Try childbirth or pancreatitis. Better yet, don't.
w0den ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:11:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
how is the full disease called? just mono? what exactly is it?
RetroRocket ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:48:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
google "mononucleosis"
w0den ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:51:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
thanks
butrosbutrosfunky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:33:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sat with a blanket around my shoulders and stared blankly out the window to the garden. For three weeks.
Nothing else, even reading, music or television were too fatiguing to contemplate.
I would have killed myself if it wasn't so comically beyond my means.
I have a newfound appreciation for the elderly now.
token_ginger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:12:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lost so much weight when I had mono. Firstly because mono made me not hungry most of the time but then when I was I couldn't be fucked eating let alone finding food.
DigitalGlitter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:46:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I often say mono was the best diet I have ever been on. I lost over 40 pounds in 3 months.
token_ginger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:11:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always tell people that as far as getting sick goes, mono was fucking awesome. I napped heaps and lost weight and didn't ever feel too unwell.
DigitalGlitter ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:32:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could say the same. My throat was in horrible shape and I had a reaction the the antibiotics. A lot of time was spent sleeping in baking soda baths and weeping silently.
I was completely down for three months and went to school 1/2 days for another month. Most of the school days were spent sleeping in class or the nurse's office.
Tomledo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:12:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good description. I really didn't mind that I was laying around for weeks at a time
Lay_May ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:02:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Most painful illness I've ever had. I was instantly drugged up and my online class wouldn't let me make anything up, so a lot of assignments were done super high.
yesthisisbryn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:03:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had it, was pretty much unconscious for four weeks, nothing could move me. It then triggered my genetic predisposition for Hashimoto's hypothyroidism. I can't remember what its like to feel awake.
O_oblivious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:23:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I never got over mono...
NightGod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. It's bad enough that I failed out of college in 1991 because I couldn't be bothered to go withdraw from my classes. Finally got that fixed this year.
SamCropper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:43:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I've been riddled with Mono my entire life.
Derekborders ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I have mono
d3gu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had mono when I was 20 and 5 years later I'm still fucking knackered. It's like being in a weird zombie state. I don't actually remember the period of time when I was ill.
maltzy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:38:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is the best explanation of Mono I have ever seen.
violationofvoration ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono?
Princess_Honey_Bunny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:16:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The summer I had Mono I worked at a summer camp, and I just though I had a bad cold. I worked long hot days, running around with kids through this huge summer camp where everything was uphill. It was over by the time I got my results back....mustve been a really mild case
belixX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remember I got it the day the fourth Harry Potter came out. I just spent the day reading the book after school and didn't even realise I was sick until my mom came home, looked at me in utter disbelieve and drove me straight to the doctor.
un-sub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, man, I had mono at prom, it was the worst. Luckily it wasn't my prom, but a girl I was dating from another school. I barely even remember it, but I remember sitting and watching people dance. I don't think I had fun at all.
MooseAtWork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had mono and pneumonia and tonsillitis at the same time. Uck.
zakool21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't want to leave the house for 2 months when I had mono. It sucked.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hated it. It did get me out of a lot of things though
acondie13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I have permanent mono.
forbucci ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i thought I was just getting lazier. Previously considered impossible by all
rizzorizzo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:14 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was strange how i fount out that i had mono. It was the week of my junior year finals, and my mom thought it was just stress. I wasn't eating anything, was barely getting dressed for school, and my mom got many calls about falling asleep in school that last week. 3 weeks later went to doctor after losing 20 pounds due to not eating. Found out it had been mono and the doctor was absolutely amazed. I had been working 24 hour weeks for my summer internship and was regularly volunteering. Once i found out, took full advantage, and basically didnt leave my couch for 6 weeks.
ljackstar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:27 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just slept all day, when I wasn't sleeping, I was napping
Russile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:01 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I had mono a few years ago they had me taking some kind of painkillers, oxycodone I think. While in the strangest state of mind I've ever been (sick and feel amazing at the same time) I wrote a song, and I still think it is my best one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:59 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny actually, when I had mono it just felt like really bad strep, cause I'm always exhausted.
rincewind123 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 07:48:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.
gotacastleinbrooklyn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:16:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There it is.
VAJAYNUS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hiiiiii Waaaaayne
ThatFag ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:30:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono? What's that?
ZuFFuLuZ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:33:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infectious_mononucleosis
ThatFag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
Phallic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Strangely enough, I had never heard of this ailment until I went to university and met exchange students from the US, who seemed to suffer from it regularly.
I dunno, it just doesn't exist in Australia, for some reason.
LA-RAH ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:24:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it does, we just call it glandular fever. I have it right now, here in Adelaide.
Phallic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:40:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well TIL! Thanks!
LA-RAH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No wozzas mate ;)
ioncehadsexinapool ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:33:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
does anyone feel like they never fully recovered from it and still feel tired all the time? like i still have 60% of the tiredness. Before i was bouncing off of the walls almost every day
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:54:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono can lead to an extended version of Mono called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. You may have that? Go see your doctor to confirm. I had CFS for about 6 years before I recovered fully.
There are some natural remedies that can help your energy levels - I recommend vitamin B6, Hawaiian Spirulina, Fish Oil and lots of fresh vegetables. If you find the tiredness is really bad, consider giving up red meat and eating more fish.
Aikidi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:42:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That may have just conveniently correlated with becoming older and having the weight of the world break you.
ioncehadsexinapool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have thought about this too. The other day, I asked my dad if you lose energy as you get older. Typical dad said "I dunno"
tsacian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:22:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It takes a while. I suggest you start working out, running, anything active for an hour a day just to help your body recover. It can be a really slow recovery since you become used to being lethargic.
Sonendo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:08:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A friend did this in high school. He DID get mono, didn't take his meds and did everything he could to prolong being sick (idiot).
Then pretended to have the symptoms even longer. I think he "caught" mono three times.
Aikidi ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:43:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, if you've had it once it can come back.
H2Sbass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always heard it was like chicken pox, where if you've had it before, you will now be immune (generally).
poodlepants33 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:02:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I currently have mono. This makes me tired.
Ciderbat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:23:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I get the mono thing... being stereo takes twice as much effort!
jman4220 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Heh.
theoldnewbluebox ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:05:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pro
nazijew666 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:43:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It turned out I was just really bored. - Wayne's World
GRANDMA_FISTER ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:08:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What's mono?
pocket-rocket ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:35:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I should get mono!
Lesson101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:07:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tell people this as well, I loved mono.. Pretty much was a month long nap.
warthor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sweeeeeet.
RandomPrecision1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I knew someone in grade school who faked mono, but towards the end actually got mono. He missed at least a quarter of the school year.
Schumarker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono is glandular fever if you're British.
secretlyapineapple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What is mono?
Robatronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could have taken advantage of my mono. I had started a new job 3 months prior and I was working my ass off to impress my bosses. Then got mono, couldn't figure out what was going on. I was arriving to work 2 hours late cause I over slept, fell asleep at my desk multiple times. finally after 2 weeks I went to the doctors... and mono.
Told my new employer what was going on, and why my performance had dropped. Just looked at my like a deer in headlights.
xNotMyRealNameX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
teach me sensei
d3gu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How did you fake mono? I had to have a blood test for the diagnosis.
Hydraskull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was at University and my girlfriend had mono. I told everyone that I went to the doctor and tested positive, but I never really did go. Then I stayed in my dorm room and didn't do anything.
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was still faking mono until the cars were moving in stereo.
french_horn_tech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once thought I had mono for a whole year. Turns out, I was just really bored.
OnAveryIsland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mono was the fucking worst. I had to drop out of school for two months. Absolutely no energy, to the point that I would fall asleep trying to reach for the TV remote. My immune system was so depleted that at one point I had a double ear infection, strep throat and a sinus infection all at the same time.
Not one day without a fever. Lymph nodes and liver/spleen so swollen they were physically palpable. I do not know how I survived this. Worst 2 months of my life.
luther1194 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Faked not having mono for four months so I could play hockey. So worth it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
maybe you actually did have mono?
Hydraskull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Completely possible! If so, then it was mild, and not much more debilitating than my baseline laziness. And I milked the hell out of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:19 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Spencer?
Edit: After checking your comment history you are definitely not Spencer, just another lazy ass motherfucker that faked mono. Warning, after he faked mono he got mono, and then he got another rare strain of mono.
MonsterCan543 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:08 on December 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I had mono I would get up shower then be so tired and go back to bed. I would put a movie in and then be so tired from putting it in I fell asleep before I could press play. On top of this I had strep throat. So if I ate I would throw up then be so tired I would fall back asleep. I had zero concentration in school. It was the worse thing ever. Mono sucks.
eve- ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:52:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky fucking you. I really DID have mono, and they (school, docs, and parents) made me go back to class after just two weeks of rest.
It was a daily occurrence for me to cry of embarrassment while sitting on the landing halfway up a single flight of stairs panting, unable to keep going.
aeeee ยท 460 points ยท Posted at 07:17:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The real winners will be too lazy to log on and write in this thread though.
BeeHammer ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:30:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Auto login, I don't even remember my password anymore.
Furoan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:01:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm assuming you don't remember your username and just found a computer that was already logged on to some (harder working) person's account...
Godolin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:03:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't even know what website he's on.
jonakun ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:39:15 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats my secret, I am always logged in
DrHugeSchlong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There are winners and there are champions
pizzabeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yea
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just logged in to say this.
penis_in_my_hand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:14 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you almost win
supergreenlizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly... I cant even compete
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:46 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
too lazy to upvote that.
TenTera ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Log on? What's that? I'm never more than 3 ft away from Reddit.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2418 points ยท Posted at 01:58:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My tv was on my dresser and I didn't have a remote. I had turned off netflix in an effort to go to bed. I decided a few minutes later that sleep is for the weak and decided for more netflix. I never got up to turn my tv back on though, I watched hours of netflix on my tiny phone to avoid getting up for 5 seconds.
[deleted] ยท 1036 points ยท Posted at 05:21:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oops...I knocked my phone off my bed. I really don't want to get up. Okay so I will just reach forward. Okay, not flexible enough...but maybe if I extend my leg and then reach forward. Fuck, that didn't work. I am just going to roll onto my belly now and superman this shit out. Now both my hands are on the floor, I just need to shimmy forward just a bit. Just a little more. a little more. GOT IT! Fuck. now I fell on the floor too.
[deleted] ยท 919 points ยท Posted at 05:50:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Annndddd I guess I'm stuck sleeping down here now.
StupidlyClever ยท 253 points ยท Posted at 07:07:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pull blankets down from bed and hope a pillow falls off in the process.
Erkkiks ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:07:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You really are stupidly clever.
flisis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not alone
Iunchbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of pillows. I'm laying in bed too far to turn off the light. I begin to throw any object that could possibly flip the switch off. Needless to say I slept with no pillows that night.
sherbetdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:56 on May 20, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
cba
dragn99 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:01:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Grab the blankets with your toes if you can. Don't wanna get cold down there.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:44:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
and i broke my hip. ill deal with it some other time.
FRENCH_ARSEHOLE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Happens all the time.
RossLH ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:16:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you have one toe on the bed, you're still on the bed.
witandlearning ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:43:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly how I wake up every morning. I intentionally put my phone out of reach of my bed, so that when my alarm rings I'll be forced to get out of bed and turn it off. Never works, I always just end up stretching out as far as possible, and then inevitably rolling onto the floor.
Cyberogue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I leave my alarms across the room and set up math puzzles
I'm surprisingly good at getting up, walking across the room, solving aa x bb multiplication while asleep, then going back to bed
witandlearning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do that. In fact, I took it one step further.
I had an app that made me solve some maths questions before it'd turn off, then 2 minutes later I had a jigsaw alarm app. I put my phone across the room, and put a shit load of stuff in between my bed and the phone.
Turns out, not only am I a maths and jigsaws whizz, I'm also a pro at doing obstacle courses in my sleep.
Gottogetit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:47:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My sophomore year of college i dropped my phone behind the dorm bed.....left it there for three days, cuz fuck that, until my roommate got tired of hearing it ring and got it for me.
tiggerbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The floor is comfortable to sleep on, just need to pull the blanket down.
forest__creature ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Best read with dramatic background music and mounting tension.
MFORCE310 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A similar thing happened to me:
In my freshman year in college we used to have those bunked beds ( the ones with the desk underneath the bed) and my alarm rang in the morning ( my phone), it was on my desk underneath my bed. Instead of jumping out of bed to get it I ended up reaching for it from bed and fell down. My fall was broken by my head hitting the desk chair. my roommates enjoyed it.
llewesdarb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I leave my phone plugged in at night so I can fish it back up with the cord when it falls off the bed.
bewwwl_shmokin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't count as getting up if your foots still on the bed
404fucksnotavailable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Phone fell down? Guess its sleep time, fuck the phone.
Cyberogue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I keep ~2ft long pvc poles near my bed. Partly to play with, partly for leverage to get myself up off the ground when I need something
_chewie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this on a near nightly basis. Solution: get rid of bed, place mattress on floor.
Kelter82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:12 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In order to stretch farther, I pretend like I'm chained up and the key is whatever I'm reaching for. My mom is also chained up. If I don't get the key, they'll kill us both. Guess what? I reached the switch to my lamp.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 04:47:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! I just watched an entire movie (Take Me Home Tonight) on my phone about two hours ago for the same reason. I have a remote, but it's next to the tv, across the room.
Kittens-of-Terror ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:33:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just think about the logic of having the remote next to the TV.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I usually keep it ()n my bed, but moved it when I changed the sheets.
have_a_terrible_day ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:50:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this also, then I got a chrome cast...... I never leave my bed.
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What is a chrome cast?
DanielEGVi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why ask when there's Google. http://www.google.com/?q=google+chromecast
bunnylebowski1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cause this is a thread about being lazy :)
ZapActions-dower ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:02:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What possessed you to put the remote all the way over there? That's the least useful place possible.
Siniroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it came with the TV and got put there on original installation of said TV. Some say the remote is still there
bunnylebowski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I moved it from my bed to the tv stand while changing my sheets. I forgot to grab it again before laying back down.
[deleted] ยท 245 points ยท Posted at 04:15:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing.
genuine_walrus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:00:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unlike your comment.
sil3ntgh0st ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:18:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In a similar vein, I was sitting on my couch watching TV and wanted to change the channel, but my remote was on the coffee table. I didn't want to lean forward to get it, so I grabbed my phone which was sitting next to me, downloaded a TV remote app, set it up, and changed the channel that way. Something that probably took 10 minutes to do, instead of the 5 seconds to lean forward and grab the remote in the first place.
iDubbbb ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:32:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This happened moments before you posted this thread, didn't it?
ShortchangeParamecia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:50:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once watched a five-hour marathon of Law and Order SVU because I had no batteries for my remote...
abush1793 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I bought a USB remote to use with my computer. I forgot the name of the one I got, but you can find them for $10 on Amazon.
MeAndMyMoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I dropped my phone replying to this, and I almost didn't want to pick it up.
brokenbentou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Galaxy S4 owner here. 1080p in a 5" screen makes for some good Netflixing
Huge_O ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:50:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i do this, except thai i choose the tiny phone over the laptop thats a half-roll out of bed away from me.
nightwing2024 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:52:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds of something I did. I wanted to watch Netflix, so I grabbed my Xbox controller, but it was dead. So I put that down, picked up my PS3 controller. Also dead.
Okay, no problem, go to grab for my Wii U controller, was just out if reach on its charge base. Fuck.
I go to my TV's smart menu, but I haven't set up Netflix there, and I don't remember my password. Getting frustrated now.
I grab my tablet, but it has low battery. It won't survive Netflix. Neither will my smartphone.
Ugh. I watch it on my computer split screen with my editing software for my podcast. I realize the whole reason I started this process was because I can't edit and Netflix at the same time.
I figured I am shit out of luck at this point. I look around, finally see my 3DS, and jackpot. That 70's Show here I come.
TheBarrelofMonkeys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this every night!
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't just stop watching 30 Rock!!
TheBarrelofMonkeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude...how bout that Dexter tho
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's on the list!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same thing last night but worse...
I had a remote, right next to me but I didn't want to wait for the TV & Xbox to turn on...
kpkrishnamoorthy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh God I'm doing this right now.
Kongo204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I met you regretted that incident in the morning.
uiemad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I say sleep is for the weak all the time and I find your laziness commendable. We are BFFs now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been avoiding plugging my tv in at my new place, so I've been watching netflix on my phone for two months. To be fair, the tv is in a perfect spot but there aren't any plugs close enough. So I gues I've been too lazy to go buy an extension chord.
NoWordOfALie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is me about 3 times a month.
w000p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
oh wow I do this all the time and just realized how lazy it is... my laptop is often right next to my bed, but I'd rather watch an entire series on my tiny phone screen than lean over and pick up my laptop.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently surfing reddit on my phone because my laptop is at the foot of my bed.
songforkaren ยท 459 points ยท Posted at 07:14:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once hooked up with a guy on Grindr and made him go past the grocery store to get me some milk on the way to my place.
I didn't even really feel like sex. But I sure did feel like cereal.
andyourubinsometubs ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 11:20:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sexual favors for cereal? Sounds about right.
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 12:05:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have a big bowl of gay sex please.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 12:16:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
With extra milk.
Al3X4NDR ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:46:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ _เฒ
juel1979 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:53:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dairy call.
scotchy91 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:10:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
spattem ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:47:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow "got milk?" Just got a whole new meaning
poo-poo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:31:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What did he say? That would seem weird.
"Uh, sorry, I'm not into milk play."
Machegav ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:01:16 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This really is the second-best post in the thread, after the guy turning the Navy ship he's on fifteen degrees to get the sun out of his eyes.
shaneo632 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:47 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of that Louie episode...
MikesKitiKat ยท 2351 points ยท Posted at 03:03:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My husband did this but I took advantage so Im guilty too. We were in his mancave attached to the garage. Its about 100 feet from the house. Using his cell he called the house phone. One of the kids answered and he told him to come to the cave. When he got there my husband told him to grab a beer out of the fridge that was about 10 feet away. I said, "While you're there, grab me a soda." I feel so ashamed.
AFoolishWit ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 06:46:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I grew up before cell phones, so my dad's preferred method was to yell in my general direction, and when I came over ask me if I was going to the kitchen. Regardless of the answer, he would say "Do me a favor, and go get me a soda/chips/whatever. And ask your mother if she wants anything." I'm in my 30s and though I moved out years ago, every time I visit he does the exact same thing, and I always go after asking Mom if she wants anything. And we laugh about it every time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same thing only I called their name in an excited/scared voice, as if I was in distress, to get them in there quicker.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 775 points ยท Posted at 03:08:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Worth it?
MikesKitiKat ยท 814 points ยท Posted at 03:18:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Of course!
stickyleaf ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 04:26:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So, Mike is your Husband and your name is Katie?
MikesKitiKat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 08:44:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kat actually. But good guess.
nilhilustfrederi ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 05:19:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd guess Katherine.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:54:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kathleen.
100dylan99 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:04:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rachel.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:09:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sandra?
concussedYmir ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:15:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dogbert!
w0den ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:06:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dolan? .. pls?
SkinnyNiggaBigBalls ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:54:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Where is she?
My-Dogs-A-Damn-Cat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actually it's WHUR ESS SHEEEE?!?!?!?!?! RACHULLLLL?!?!?!?
MikesKitiKat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:49:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ding ding ding. We have a winner! I do go by Kat though. The only one who calls me Kathleen is my mom when she's pissed.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
that was a freaky guess. I knew a Kathleen, I nick-named her kit-kat, and she had an over-protective brother named Mike. I legitimately had to check your comment history to ensure you weren't her.
MikesKitiKat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:50 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. No bothers here.
Jesus-senpai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:56:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My money's on Katrina
Evref ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So Mike don't know what a mancave is?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:55:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what kids are for.
foxcake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:01:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, you had kids for a reason, right?
ELOSE ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:44:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know there was any other reason to have children?
neobyte999 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:04:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mike is a smart man
MikesKitiKat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:09:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That he is. He's also spoiled rotten.
UkePlayingDude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's the whole point of having kids, really
Blossom216 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what kids are for.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what kids are for
White667 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why else would you have kids.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is there another reason to have children?
bunnylebowski1 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:59:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's why you had kids, right?
TaKtiKaLSH4DOW ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:53:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
why were you in his mancave?
MikesKitiKat ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 08:38:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Because I pay all the bills. He's disabled. EVERY room is mine! Mahahaha.
cailihphiliac ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They must be a gay couple. Unless... Are women allowed in man-caves if they're cleaning it or delivering food?
Ratelman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:39:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You don't clean a man-cave! How do you think it gets its character?
cailihphiliac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
From the lack of lace, frills, and mirrors that women insist on putting in every room.
It's the only reason I can think of for her to be in there.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:14:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My fucking fat ass former step mom made me get up at least 10 times every day to get her side out of the fridge. Didn't matter if I was studying, watching a movie, or (IIRC once) sleeping.
I'm so glad her petulant, disgusting, intolerant, intolerable ass is out of my life.
GreatBabu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:44:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
... her side?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She was very fast and often got stuck.
GreatBabu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:17:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I'd say sorry, but... I feel that laughing at that isn't an issue for you.
biga29 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:09:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, once me and my friend were in a hotel trying to take a nap, but we had forgotten to shut the door to the room. He was already asleep so I called his girlfriend who was on the other side of the hotel and told her that he needed to tell her something. She showed up at the room a few minutes later and I poked my head out from under the covers and asked if she could shut the door while she was here. She stormed off leaving the door open and I had one of the best naps ever...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:59:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MikesKitiKat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:08:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A couple of my kids are Redditors. I live in PA. They wont give me their screen names.
thisisludicrous ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:30:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time my mom yelled at me from the opposite end of the house and I ran to her thinking something was wrong and all she said was "can you let the dog out." The door was 15 feet from the couch she was sitting on.
accidentallywut ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:08:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my parents did this shit to me all the time. they'd yell and i'd come downstairs and get them an ashtray and lighter and smokes and some chips that were literally about ten feet away from them. like everyday this happened. i feel like i'm a bit more of a submissive person from that shit. to a detriment. don't pull that shit too often.
partykitty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:19:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My parents are like this. A few summers ago, I spent a few weeks at my aunts house she thought it was funny how I hopped to it whenever she asked me to do things. She said I was "jumpy." It's because my mom loses her mind if you take more than three seconds to do what she asks. Ugh.
DrDarkness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mother did this to me and now I have the expectation that when someone asks you to do something you do it right away. Drives me nuts when other people don't do this. I know in my head that it's an unreasonable expectation so I try not to let my frustration show but it's hard sometimes.
JetsWillWinSuperbowl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:28:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell was she doing in the man cave, Mike???
raptorrage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:36:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You gave them life, they can get you a soda haha
Grappindemen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:52:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
..mancave? What is that?
MikesKitiKat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:06:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Its what my husband calls his private room. Its the same as a den or smoking room back in the day. Supposed to be no women allowed. In his case its also the only place I wont bitch about him hanging a deer head or his sports memorabilia.
BlackenBlueShit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:05:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell were you doing inside then?
Ouaouaron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She won't bitch about him hanging a deer head or sports memorobilia there, it's not a seven-year-old's no-girls-allowed club. It's a place he gets to make his own.
It worries me that reddit is having so much trouble understanding how a dude with be okay with his wife hanging out with him in a place where he's comfortable.
BlackenBlueShit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but women have no rights!!!
Incase you didn't notice...
... It was a joke.
Treypyro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:41:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad would try to do this to me but I quickly outsmarted him, so he started getting my little sister to do it. He would yell her name and tell her to come into the living room to either get him a beer or hand him the remote, which was usually less than 10 feet away.
Not_Steve ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done something similar. Me: "Hey so-and-so, there's some mail for you over there." Them: "There's no mail hereโฆ" Me: "No, but can you turn up the volume on the tv while you're there?"
bnorvell11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:49:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My parents call me on my cellphone from theirs all the time to tell me to get shit and make sandwiches and stuff for them so you're not out of the ordinary I guess. And of course now that I know this trick I'll for sure use it on my kids when I have some.
ico2ico2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your husband's real laziness is not bothing to think of a suitable excuse to exclude the wife from his man-cave.
"Yeah baby, the rafters are... very unsafe... also full of snakes".
princessjinifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is what my dad does to me all the time, gets old after a while.
Dj911ven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is something my dad does all the time.
darps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why else would you have kids anyway.
NinjaAssassinKitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What good are kids if you can't order them to get you stuff?
yolo-yoshi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use 'em if you've got 'em,I always say.
Teledildonic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't count, children are supposed to be used for menial tasks. It's the price they pay for 2 decades of mooching.
Source: was once a child
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They're basically pledges until they turn 18.
sleepnomore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It started when my dad called for my brother to close the back door which was 5 feet from him and across the house from my brother. Then it was across the house and upstairs. Then he started calling him on his cellphone. Then my brother went to college half an hour away, and my dad would still call him and tell him to close the back door.
Now he's in grad school between 90 and 120min away, and he still calls him, saying "it's cold out, close the back door."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ugh my dad always made me get him beers when I was a kid. It took years before I discovered that I can tell him to fuck off and get it himself.
arcaptainic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mother did something like this to me as a child. She called my name and told me to come to her room one night. It was 11 or so and I was just about to fall asleep. She says to me, "will you turn off my lamp?"
I'm like are you serious? The lamp switch is 4 fricken inches from your stretched out arm. If you rolled to your side just a hair you would be able to reach the lamp. I switched it off while she just laughed. So on the way out I turned on the overhead light to her room on. Revenge!
juxtaposition21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, feel the laziness flow through you.
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to keep lemonade in my beer fridge specifically so I could say "How about you have a can of lemonade? Oh, and get me a beer while you're there?"
Except then they wised up and just get their own damn lemonade and piss off.
Timbojh17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your kidding right? i use my Niece and Nephews daily to do random shit for me. Get me food, drinks, cleaning,etc
Violent_Glaciers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have similar stories. At home I would always yell for my sister to come and come up with some excuse so I could get her to do stuff. One time I yelled and told her to come here because I wanted to ask her/talk to her about something. I was in bed and was too lazy to get up close the door and turn off the lights so I called her, came up with a story off the top of my head, and then told her to turn off the lights and close the door on her way out.
noholds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom did something like that. Fuck you.
stefaniey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My parents always said they only had kids for the slaves.
DoctorOctagonapus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the time my parents were watching TV on the sofa, shouted at me to come downstairs and when I appeared they just said "Can you change the channel for us please". I very nearly changed it to an online shopping channel.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Parents are just lazy SOBs. When I lived at home I had a basement bedroom. Right above it was the family room. So many times my parents would knock on my ceiling to get me to come upstairs so I could change the channel for them. They always found it hilarious.
Also it's not a mancave if vaginas are allowed in.
GutterBunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been that kid to answer the call....
I_am_the_pomegranite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is this not the sole purpose of procreation?
PolyVinylCracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back before widespread remote controls in every house, my dad used to constantly call me out of my bedroom to turn up the volume on the living room TV. I was usually reading, so this got annoying pretty quickly. One time he yelled and asked me to "turn it up just a hair." I held up a strand of my hair next to the volume knob and turned it just thaaaat much. He got a chuckle out of it and apparently decided that, for future volume adjustments, my brother would be a less smart-ass mobile remote control.
torro947 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can honestly tell you from experience as a child this may cause some resentment later down the line. I loathed the fact that my dad couldn't walk 15 feet to the kitchen to get his own soda.
haamfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
so THATS why people have children...
vallz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad did the same back in the days when I was young. He would call the homephone from my parents bedroom and told me to come to their room. Once I arrived, he told me to close the closets, they were less than 5 meters away from him -_-' And yes, this did not happen only once.
TheGreatSpaces ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stoner parents! :)
MikesKitiKat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well you are half right.
readermom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, this is not a thing? I do this ALL the time with my kids. I text them from the family room couch (or wherever I am) to them while they are in their rooms. (or yell to them)
It does remind me of a story...One day when we were building our house, a woman stopped by and asked us if we were interested in getting an intercom system. We told her no and she says to us, "what, are you going to yell upstairs to your kids if you need them?" My husband and I looked at each other and said to her, "um, yes?"
THAT_WAS_TITS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The only reason to ever have kids
Mrminecrafthimself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mom?
Quetzalcoatls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's some pledge shit right there
Level5CatWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why you're ashamed. Isn't that why people have kids?
Mazuna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This might be the most romantic story I've ever read.
awp235 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why else have kids!
krunnky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is this not the only reason people have children?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My parents, aunts, uncles, and a few more adults I wasn't related to did this all the time to me and my cousins. Didn't matter which kid and if they were yours or not. They'd call us down just to pass the remote over or open the blinds.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend used to do a similar thing with his little brother all the time.
CompGrl323 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has, on several occasions, called me from his bedroom, asked me to come to his bedroom, then asked me to go downstairs to get him a soda. He was already in bed and comfortable and he didn't wanna get up.
ElMuffinHombre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what kids are for!
robthetroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mother once called me upstairs to get a remote on the coffee table two feet out of reach.
EGrshm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, isn't that what are kids are for?
draekia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You guys have either pretty young or overly nice kids. I would've grabbed a soda for myself and walked out.
Irrelevant_muffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:03 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This was my dad right here. He had a special whistle that meant we had a couple seconds to get there as fast as we could. 90% of the time it was to refill his glass.
The_Knackjife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i thought the point of a man-cave was to not let women in
MikesKitiKat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:01:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
True. Occasionally he likes my company.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:27:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
atomicthumbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you assuming the parent comment is a woman?
Walnut156 ยท 537 points ยท Posted at 06:08:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Scratch my ass by farting
narwhalicus ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 12:00:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a name for a really obscure Punk band
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:08:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ashamed to admit I've done this
xNotMyRealNameX ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:11:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
how rough are your farts?!
EdibleBucket ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:02:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's just raw talent. You have a bright future.
HanksNeckBeard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:08:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did a walnut pop out? D:
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:54:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was a little shit covered arm that pops out when that person farts. scratch scratch
HanksNeckBeard ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:24:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yuck.
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:33:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It just waved at you.
HanksNeckBeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every movement tears your asshole a little wider.
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:45:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm having a baby!
HanksNeckBeard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:27:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a terrible person but is it an African baby?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:06 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
amature, I once scratched my balls by farting.
Tacomaster1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:16:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Best feeling ever
jagernaut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:56:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that's foul
trashmouth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I... I am not alone.
Thecrazyamerican ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Manpower.
Princess_Honey_Bunny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this guy gets it.
two2too ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this alot.
Renegradenick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Go to the bathroom before you try this, in case it goes wrong.
CLErox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well that just feels good. Not sure that's lazy.
rertolancer666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone does that.
TightAssHole234 ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 13:20:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you often share information about your ass with strangers, silly sir? Perhaps you are secretly a closeted gay homosexual.
Walnut156 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:34:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Might be ;)
a_harvey ยท 3034 points ยท Posted at 05:10:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had bbq sauce on my cheek at a restaurant. Rather than get up to grab a napkin, I used a piece of bread to wipe it off and then ate it. That's also the fattest thing I've done
fuzzy_orange ยท 736 points ยท Posted at 06:26:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not being lazy. That's being smart.
desertfox14 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:10:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But really: culinary genius.
knapsacking ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:35:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Those are always the same thing
mrdude817 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:43:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest people are also the smartest people.
FrankCraft ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:07:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Think about it, he's saving time, saving a napkin AND getting fed. Now that's efficiency!
fenasi_kerim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is a really fine line between the two.
Th3Harbinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin Smart
owlsrule143 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:37:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ikr, i hate when people use napkins when they could just lick their fingers or wipe a piece of bread on themselves, it's more efficient use of resources
IWeigh600Pounds ยท 1720 points ยท Posted at 06:26:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of us! One of us! Gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble!
JenWarr ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:12:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do... Do you actually weigh 600 lbs??
IWeigh600Pounds ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:58:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
645, as of about a month ago.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:14:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
time for a new username
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:50:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know man, having to switch reddit accounts would probably be the only thing in the world that could motivate me to diet.
TheBraveLittlePenis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We demand an AMA.
IWeigh600Pounds ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:51:00 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What would you like to know?
(Just for the record, I did do an AMA a few years ago.)
TheBraveLittlePenis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:30 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What are some of the major health problems?
IWeigh600Pounds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:41 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have been extremely lucky up until this point.
The only major problem that I have is that my feet are in bad shape, just from years of use. Over the past three years, I have broken my left foot twice, and my right foot once. I did not fall, or anything like that. In all three cases, it was from standing for too long and leaning forward while sitting. This caused stress fractures, one of which I am just getting rid of now (I only wear the boot at work).
My organs have held up well (knock wood), and my blood sugar has never been over about 100. My cholesterol is fine, but I do have borderline hypertension.
One if my doctors is convinced that the reason that my labs are always good is that the test results are calculated using an algorithm that assumes that a person has X liters of blood. I undoubtedly have more, so this skews the results.
All that being said, my weight has precluded me from easy access to certain medical procedures. In May, I needed to get an MRI done, but the hospital could not accommodate me. I called every hospital in a 25 mile radius, to no avail. I finally had to go through the manufacturer of the MRI that could fit me to find a site. In case you were wondering, it was the Hitachi Oasis MRI machine. A month later, I found out that I was not eligible to get bariatric surgery at the hospital I have gone to all my life because I was too heavy. I need to get below 500 pounds to be eligible.
TheBraveLittlePenis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:35 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I hope it all works out for you!
IWeigh600Pounds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:46 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. Have a wonderful day.
BellicosePacifist ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:33:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for reminding me that I need to watch Freaks again.
Northern-Canadian ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:06:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So many years later and when I read "gobble gobble gobble" I think of South Park. and southpark for n64.
Rorroh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:58:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow, you just brought me back. That was an awesome game for me. Thank you.
darthtweder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:26:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That game is perfect for the holidays
DoesntFearZeus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:58:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I just got that youtube video out of my head...doh!
get-sideways ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:27:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We accept you, We accept you! I love u IWeigh600Pounds
Alex4921 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:14:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Username severely relevant
poketman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relevent username.
OmegaLiar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bread is nature's napkin.
bobbyscott4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username.
hupacmoneybags ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you really?
IWeigh600Pounds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
eVaan13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Turgle turgle.
thetruthhurts34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is this comment slanted for anyone else?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
IWeigh600Pounds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, but I am planning on entering a program in January.
moth_man_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is reddit now a cult of turkeys?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:52 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
IWeigh600Pounds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:58 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's originally from a film called Freaks. The Ramones are awesome, though.
Hoppmjac000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
*gobble-gobble. Oh, wait, he's describing something fat people do, not turkeys.
explainittomeplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The sound off this, a million turkeys yelling it in my mind, made me laugh for a solid 5 minutes. Then I saw your username and laughed till I cried. Thank you!
ElGatoQueso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What is gooble?
ArcaniteMagician ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:13:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, relevant username...
shredapocalypse ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
anyone who references ramones is a friend of mine
RossLH ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:19:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was a reference to Freaks.
shredapocalypse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
oh, well it could have just as well been a reference to pinhead by the ramones
IWeigh600Pounds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was referencing Freaks, but I do love The Ramones. My friends went to see White Zombie in the late nineties, and I went to the show because The Ramones were opening for them. My friends were disappointed with Whote Zombie, but they all liked The Ramones from then on out.
ExoticCarMan ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, some of the turkey have escaped and discovered reddit!
madherchod ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:49:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ya instgram can gobble these nuts
abcdrape ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:18:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are an turkeys?
strawberycreamcheese ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 06:52:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy; that's efficient.
generalmishmash ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 07:02:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Coincidentally, I just watched a New Girl episode with that scenario:
Jess: โTonight I used a bread roll to wipe butter off my face, then ate the bread roll. So I essentially used my face as a butter knife."
wowwow23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:27:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is exactly what I thought of when I read his comment. That show is so good.
socatstacos ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:55:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
resourceful is more like it (and eco friendly, I guess)
LasigArpanet ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:27:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once with spaghetti sauce. Brilliance if you ask me.
Katoska ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:00:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I was eating Oreos. Not just any Oreos though, these Oreos were special. You see, these Oreos were none other than the fuckmothering GOD OF ALL OREOS. I had pulled out about 5 to eat, and realized I needed to go to the bathroom. Rather than putting them back up, I took them down the hall in my dorms to the public restrooms. Some guy on my floor was washing his hands and saw me walk into the stall with my Oreos, and stood in front of the sink, just silently judging me. I sat there taking a shit, eating these coconut Oreos, thinking of how much of a fat fuck I am.
enjoytheshow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:58:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's just called efficiency.
pumpkins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my king.
BlooFlea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:35:43 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
You used your face as a dipping platter?
CreativityisTough ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:07:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's the fattest thing you've ever done? That's nothing.
Near where I live, there's a very large grocery store that is open all night. And in it, they've got a food court with an upstairs seating area that overlooks the food court. Well, my friends and I were hanging out and we were bored and hungry. This combination came together in such a fashion that night that it inspired perhaps the most ingenious, disgusting, fantastic, and fat activity devised by man.
So we went to White Castle and purchased ourselves a Crave Case. For those of you who have never been fat, a Crave Case is a box of 30 Sliders. We also got a few orders of fries because, hey, why not?
We returned to this large grocery store. We retrieved a prepackaged "Table Pong" (read as: beer pong) kit that they were selling. We set up the "table pong".
Here's where the line between brilliance and madness gets blurry. Instead of filling the cups with water or beer, we instead tore the sliders into halves and stuffed one half of each slider into the cups until all the cups were filled. This was only 10 sliders worth, though. Then we garnished these nasty slider cups with a few fries each.
We called this abomination "Slider Pong". The objective was the same as beer pong, except once you land the ball into one of these unholy grease goblets, someone on the opposing team has to eat the contents (ball not included).
Now, 5 sliders per team of two people? This may seem like nothing, but you have to remember: there is a lot of time that passes between each shot that is made, not to mention the time it takes to set up a new round. That gives the slider bits time to settle in your stomach, get nice and cozy, and make you feel like shit.
We were able to play three games with the amount of sliders we purchased, but by the end of the second game, nobody wanted to even play the third game. We all felt sick and tired and disgusting. Slider pong is worse than beer pong because you don't get drunk, but you still feel sick. And at the end of that night, we all decided for ourselves "Never again".
But we tried it again. That time, however, we barely got to the setup phase when a night manager saw us and said "You can't do that here". Maybe he thought we were going to play real beer pong, or maybe he just didn't want us making a mess. Whatever the case, that night manager saved my goddamned life.
So that's the fattest thing I've ever done. And if any of my friends who know about this end up reading this, hey, what's up.
MeatwadSaint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my school has napkins in a package with the sporks, I didn't get one and I didn't feel like walking over so I just ate with the bread and "cleaned" my hands with the remaining bread
ioncehadsexinapool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when i eat a sandwich with chips i just wipe off my chip fingers on the bread, it makes the bread tasty. Surprisingly, the bread works better than napkins
Nokarel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy; that's what the bread at BBQ places is designed for. You just helped it fulfill its purpose.
d4nc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
now thats just economical I tell you hwat
Suggested ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds more like efficiency to me
sonofaresiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Waste bbq sauce? Never
ruckdiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like being resourceful, not lazy.
donkeyroller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
thats incredibly smart
never waste that precious bbq sauce
neon93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
2 birds with one stone
beeche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best parragraph I've read in my entire life.
Mr_Cumbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But... Isn't that what you're supposed to do?
CF5300 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No shame in that, that's the best part! Bread was destined to be man's napkin in his time of need. Probably why it was served with BarBQ in the first place!
rilestyles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's how the Romans used to do it. That was the point of eating bread with a meal.
jun2san ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A twofer!
dsiOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I could see if it was a massive glob, but a tiny stain?
Globsnaga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, this is lazy?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has wiped ketchup off of my pants with a French fry...I see nothing wrong with this
WebbyHRT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Next level face cleaning maneuvre.
Never_AFK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do that all the time with olive oil, nutella, etc...
tlvrtm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bread makes you fat?
NickDownUnder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So you used your face as a BBq sauce dispensar?
twotimes1lion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this
ellwhy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Summaries of napkin history often say that the ancient Greeks used bread to wipe their hands"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napkin
Kaibunny143 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What do you think they did before napkins?
Scarecrow398 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You know the smears you get on mcdonalds burger wraps? yeah, that's ketchup that missed the bun, we do the same thing with bottom bun to clean up excess ketchup off the wraps.
pyromanser365 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Going green. I like it.
juel1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Waste not, want not.
Strimm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
thats actually one of the main purposes of eating bread to meals. In the god ol days, one cleaned food from the hands on bread and then ate it.
austinanimal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I dropped a meatball last night and it rolled down my shirt into my plate. I picked up the meatball with my fingers and then licked the sauce off of the black batman graphic on my shirt. Good as new!
Namtwen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a music festival and got BBQ sauce all over my hands. I didn't have a napkin or anything so I just rubbed it into my hands like lotion. My hands smelled wretched at the end of the day.
reallifedog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i've said it once and I will say it again: Bread is Nature's Napkin
TokenAsianGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Similar story:
We were at McDonald's and my friend was eating a Big Mac with one hand and an ice cream cone with the other. He got some ice cream on his cheek and decided to wipe it off with his Big Mac. He kept eating.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's the fattest, but not the laziest. It's the same amount of work as grabbing a napkin!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i did this with Alfredo sauce at a restaurant...my mother and my grandmother were not impressed
mabramo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You don't waste bbq sauce. Especially Sweet Baby Rays.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my family, it is considered a sacred Italian tradition to use the inside of the Italian Bread to wipe your mouth with, and then eat it.
illyay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. I just did that with a chip today during lunch. My burrito got some sauce on my cheeck.
LuckyCh4rmz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:37 on March 19, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I did that once, but i ended up with butter all over my cheek and a stereotype that I will never live down.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:03:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Cryptoss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Totally off topic, but I'm also a Bosnian, and look at my username.
We're like brothers.
fortytwoturtles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:25:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You essentially used your face as a butter knife.
2wordschitown ยท 1602 points ยท Posted at 05:14:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I'm actually not that lazy.
oldmoneey ยท 464 points ยท Posted at 06:54:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. I never thought I'd say this, but I feel like a responsible, practical, and reasonably hardworking person right now.
AvadaK_Green ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:38:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL that there isn't a major difference between brilliance and not giving a shit.
JustOlsen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:57:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm learning so much.
TrjnRabbit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:41:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably the only time Reddit will ever make you feel this way. Try to remember it at 3am when you've turned every link in /r/aww purple.
oldmoneey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
JOKES ON YOU I'M NOT SUBSCRIBED TO /r/aww!
greenalias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I second that.
Endless_Search ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:48 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with this, except for the studying.
Psilonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:29 on December 6, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
of course, by pretty low standars
oldmoneey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:23 on December 6, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Low standards are healthy standards!
simboisland ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:03:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
oldmoneey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, you didn't...
Thurgood_Marshall ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 08:14:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think these people are confusing laziness with horrible, crippling depression.
GRANDMA_FISTER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:14:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That makes one of us.
perkiezombie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No longer feel guilty for skipping classes today.
efhs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL at least i'm not alone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Also employed with adult responsibilities...
craznazn247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I'm just like everybody on Reddit. I have done entirely too many of these things and still continue to.
Sinquanon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
These are peoples worst offences. On average we might be just as lazy as these people. Even if we don't have crazy lazy stories like these.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Today I confirmed that I am.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you.
Batshitcrayon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Today I learned.
hppyfckngbrthdy ยท 2072 points ยท Posted at 02:07:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fell asleep wearing full makeup, woke up, wore the same makeup the next day.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 863 points ยท Posted at 02:08:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hate you or not having horrible raccoon eyes in the morning! Yet admire you all at the same time.
yessica0o0 ยท 682 points ยท Posted at 04:47:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She probably did have raccoon eyes, she was too lazy to give a shit. I'm proud of you hppyfckngbrthdy!
living_lego ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:22:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She's so lazy she didnt even bother with vowels.
underdog027 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Y is a vowel, isn't it?
TheBraveLittlePenis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
y is a vowel.
living_lego ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:56 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
only sometimes
StupidlyClever ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 07:10:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Success Kid:
WAKES UP WITH HORRIBLE RACCOON EYES
HALLOWEEN
kgram ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:33:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, if she didn't have raccoon eyes it'd be like she wasn't lazy at all. Way to be, hppyfckngbrthdy.
artskoo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:26:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you wipe around them with a face wipe it becomes eyeliner again, don't worry!
Derekborders ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:44:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually the origin of "smokey eyes"
Smegead ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:10:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
plot twist: hppyfckngbrthdy is a man who fell asleep in KISS makeup
Cesc1972 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you having a stroke?
dietz203 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OR she is a raccoon...
MeAndMyMoose ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 05:46:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes just do the raccoon eyes. Wipe it with my fingers a bit, and move on.
p_iynx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, and if you wanna be fancy just use clump crusher and apply a new coat of mascara. BOOM, new makeup look.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 06:23:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you're lucky you get a nice smokey eye!
glass_table_girl ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:16:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tip: Invest in good waterproof eyeliner, setting powder and foundation (both facial and eye primer).
Prime face. Do foundation. Prime eyes. Do eye shadow. Do eye liner (consider adding primer under eye if you put eyeliner on your lower lid/water line). Powder to set. Make sure some gets over your eyes. AND THEN!!! This is key: Use a flat tipped brush of some sort to sweep some powder under your eye (and bottom eyeliner). This locks it in place.
How I know it works: make up looking miraculous and perfect even after crying during a fight with BF and sobbing while delivering a eulogy at my grandmother's funeral.
Personally, I use an eyeliner from Benefit, eye primer from Urban Decay (the potion looking one), and face junk from Bare Minerals (primer, foundation, warmth, and powder).
catnation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...The only UD eye primers are potion looking. They have the same tube designs.
glass_table_girl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the only difference is the color. I just said that in case OP was unfamiliar.
jaimekaitlyn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:45:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect "smoky eye" look
Lay_May ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:52:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time
I usually use a grey or light black eyeshadow Nd line my eyes with that, even if it's smudged, a qtip fixes it And my eyeliner always seems to stay in place.
Super lazy female who also wants to look good
Disclaimer: I am single, completely possible I look awful in yesterday's makeup and refuse to admit it to myself.
TheMusicalEconomist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's a thing that happens? I knew it was bad for your skin but I didn't realize it did other things.
Fredthecoolfish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:21 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have come to regard the raccoon eyes as an extreme smoky effect.
damnatio_memoriae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was clown makeup.
copperpony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She probably used a cloth to wipe out any excess. I've done this when I sleep over my guy's house and forget my makeup remover.
simboisland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: she was a scene kid and already had raccoon eyes.
Kaibunny143 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last nights makeup is today's 'smokey eye'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Primer potion for the base before eyeshadow. and blend out the eyeliner and maybe a smudge of concealer. You're ready in 15 secs.
The only way I know that promer potion last 18 hrs on my oily skin is because I went out, fell asleep on my back on the couch. Woke up and had to work a 10 hr shift where everyone complimented my makeup but had no clue I did it the night before and barely brushed my teeth in the car.
littlelauralollylegs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always fall asleep with make-up on (when I wear it), just use q-tips to remove the fat smudges and it looks good again.
raccooneyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes?
mildlyAttractiveGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:19 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely get raccoon eyes and wear it to class anyway. Zero fucks.
Iziama94 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:38:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy, no matter what I do, I always have raccoon eyes... My eyes are green though, so I have that going for me, which is nice
graceyloo252 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 06:41:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i do this so many times it's embarrassing.
ToastyHorse ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:36:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if I'm ashamed or not, but I do this every time I wear extensive makeup (aka more than just eyeliner). If it looks decent when I wake up the next day - it stays.
Spit_on_me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:19:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of makeup are you people wearing that survives sleep? Hell, my powder doesn't last 3 hours and most of my eyeshadow is gone by the end of the day. It might have something to do with rubbing my face and eyes in exasperation 50 times a day, though.
ailish ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:34:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably people who don't really do powder. I just wear eye makeup, and it actually looks better the second day most of the time. Just wipe under the eyes to clear off the raccoon look, and good to go.
Spit_on_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm doing something wrong, or wearing the wrong kind of eyeshadow. My mascara and eyeliner stay forever but the eyeshadow is pretty much gone by late afternoon.
ailish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:10:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you rub your eyes a lot? I don't wear anything in particular. I don't even get the same thing or brand every time but just whatever looks interesting, so it can't be that.
Spit_on_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. My job makes me constantly facepalm. I'm sure that's where all my makeup goes.
ailish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like it could be the problem. ;-)
wuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't sleep in makeup often, usually because I'm drunk. I have really dry skin, so anything I put on my face is nearly impossible to get off.
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 07:01:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is this not a normal thing to do?
Lil_Sebastian_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:33:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely do it almost always...
Bethurz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, you should wash it off.
OnlySlightlyCrazy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:22:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this ALL the time, though full makeup for me is mascara and some powder...little touch up and lick the fingers and swipe under the eyes to remove raccoon and good to go.
FantasyFuck ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:03:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to everyday of my life. Today i put makeup on so i wouldn't have to do it at 8 in the morning when i have to go to work. (Played path of exile all damn day)
raptorrage ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:34:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday's lipstick is today's lipstain
fangirl101 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:56:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god my face becomes wayyy too greasy to do something like that. Jelly.
greenducklord ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:32:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
powder foundation. it will revolutionize your life.
fangirl101 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:21:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But powdered foundation on top of a thick dirty layer of oil is just gross. It's what motivates me to wash my face every morning/night lol
MisogynistLesbian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:08:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'd rather have to redo my eyeliner than break out from not washing my gross face skin
miniatureelephant ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:27:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do that all the time.
DinosaurPineapple ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:24:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time. Sometimes I rub chapstick under my eyes to get the coon off though.
Lil_Sebastian_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if I'm impressed or disgusted. Either way, well done.
harlequinghost2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:49:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wakeup makeup is fantastic
StoliFleming ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow...I have done this for three straight days before. I feel gross.
mixed-metaphor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:06:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend used to do this and managed to look bloody awesome every sodding time. Props to you lady/gent (lest SRS get all upset).
JewleeG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this yesterday.
Midnitemare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Being a mother to a toddler, I do this almost daily. Taking makeup off after running after a crazy kid is just too much work. I let the pillowcase wipe it off for me.
explainittomeplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So... every Sunday? I'm not proud. I just can't seem to get it up to wash my face when I'm that drunk.
But I sleep on the floor to keep my pillows from getting dirty. There has to be a line somewhere.
Seaho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is me every Sunday.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Professional makeup to edgy. Two different looks with the same strokes! Nice.
J_Sto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nearly anyone who is on-camera talent and wears full eye makeup does this, esp. during press tours. Wash skin but don't touch eyes and just touch up the eyes etc. in the morning. Full eye makeup with individual lashes takes time and the glue lasts for days, and sometimes work over a few days is a rush.
Karolinkaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pull this routine every other day
mollypaget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this every other morning dude! I fall asleep with my makeup on, wake up, and take half a second to touch up the smudged eyeliner with a makeup remover pad, and then I'm good to go.
Mariske ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time. Also I somehow feel like it's a good way of getting every cent out of that $13 eyeliner pencil.
Faiakishi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This was me my freshman year of high school. I applied mascara every two days. Apply it on Monday, eyelashes will still be partly black Tuesday morning.
Now I'm in college and I'm too lazy to ever apply makeup in the first place.
mrs_squarepants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this every Friday night/Saturday morning. A lil urban decay all nighter setting spray, and you're good for 2 days
Etcetera_and_soforth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is basically every day for me.
Retsek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: a dude on the day after a Halloween party
eal1127 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is me when I actually bother to wear makeup at all. Usually my mornings go something like "I could look like a human today... Or I could sleep for five minutes more." So I sleep for five minutes more. And then a really special day is when I also use a hair brush to put my hair up.
cottonbiscuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is me everyday. I noticed that if I wash my face more then once a day I break out. So I usually don't wash it at night and then sometimes the make up looks pretty good the next day so I keep it on.
No shame.
Lady_Sassbutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One day's eyeliner is the next day's smokey eye.
nicofish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this every single day. I wear waterproof mascara and I don't even own makeup remover.
JenATaylia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I got so drunk once that I slept absolutely still and my hair and makeup looked great the next day. Samesies
SkittleSkitzo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is me pretty much anytime I do my makeup. Which isn't often because laziness
darkmooninc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You could always touch up by rolling over your pillow a few times.
CommentsOnHaiku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:11:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Worker bees have wings.
Even drones can fly away.
The queen is their slave
ofeots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually pretty good...
GRANDMA_FISTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You can't do that? Why would you ever wear make up, seems too much effort to me then
DystopiaNoir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is me at least 3x a week. The extra five minutes of sleep is worth it, I guess.
poppyseedtoast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I do this a lot.
_Scarlett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this more often than I'd like to admit.... Thankfully I sleep like a corpse so when I wake up the next morning, everything is still in place. x)
Whoneedsyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do that often. I don't wear a lot of make up. But, I never take it off until the morning. And if it still looks good... Why not?
Username1930 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this at least 3 times a week.
eatshitanddieplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this kinda every day
0scrambles0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday's eyeliner is today's smokey eyes.
jimiffondu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Appropriate Dilbert
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My routine for far too many months was to crash at a friend's place after work, lectures the next day in uniform and old club makeup, drinks after lectures then buy some eyeliner on the way back to work to skank up the look a bit. The longest I went without washing my face was four days. I'm a fucking munter.
roidrage2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is it terrible that I do this pretty much every other day?
gingeroverlord74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actually me right now.
ImOnlyDying ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did that on purpose when I forgot my makeup and had places to go the next day. Worst feeling ever is sleeping with full cream eyeshadow and eyeliner.
janicenatora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do that at least 3-4 times a week. Is that not common?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this every day
ailish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Second day makeup usually looks better than first day makeup.
jolly_rodgas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
From your username, I can surmise that you were too lazy for vowels that day.
tylergrrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
every time i decide to put on makeup, that's my makeup for about 3 days.
StephSC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last night's going out makeup is today's smokey eye!
cblmnop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this way more than I should.
stationofpanic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this allll the time!
Quietmode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend apparently puts her makeup on at night after her shower and before bed. Se just wakes up in the morning, gets dressed and leaves. I always thought that was a no-no but she pulls it off somehow.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like you had a happy fucking birthday!
Shan_tyler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Today's winged liner is tomorrows smokey eye
buttscoots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Foul Bachelorette Frogs UNITE!
Kelly614 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this at least twice a week
ohmygod_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely can keep the makeup better if I fall asleep drunk. I don't move much.
EnvyAdams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
See, I literally cannot go to bed wearing makeup. Even when I'm drunk or dead tired I'll still go over my face with a makeup wipe but that still feels gross to me.
My regular nightly routine consists of removing my makeup with a makeup remover and then washing my face with face wash. Cannot have a trace of makeup.
slouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
today is Tuesday... I am still wearing Sunday's makeup
ThatTacoKitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this at least once a week.
Jon_Snows_mother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this everyday. Just use q-tips and cleansing lotion to get rid of excess make up underneath my eyes. Good as new!
alorahh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:04 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time. Such a time saver, and I dont use my makeup so quickly.
JaKKeD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:22 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like how my GFs make up looks the next day.
dammmmmit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:44 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this more often than not. Makeup remover is expensive yo.
nerdunderwraps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:44 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do that on purpose, when I go home for the weekend I usually have to get up at around 6, so I'll do full makeup the night before so I don't have too when I get up.
skizzor-me-timbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:31 on March 18, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I seriously do this almost every other day.
swaggmama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:17:44 on March 30, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I get exhausted enough to do this at least 3x a month. Foundation is completely rubbed off onto pillow, waterproof smudgeproof gel liner and mascara are worth their weight in gold. Slap on some tinted balm (and rub a little into your cheeks) and get on with your day
livingorundead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:16 on May 3, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
My solution. I never wear makeup. That shit takes way too much time and I'd have to wake up earlier to put it on.
Florenciacar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did the same thing after prom, didn't even took contacts lenses out cause I knew I'd be sleeping like only 3 hours
Monagan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure you are aware of this but sleeping with your contacts in can cause problems with your eyes. Same goes for sleeping with your makeup on, to a lesser extent. It is not wise to do either.
Florenciacar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's dangerous, and stupid, reason why I stopped using them for a long time, I was actually really scared in the morning.
findfind2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: your a dude
sfmatchbookr86 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:47:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This was my life in high school. I spent way too much extra money on that bare minerals stuff so that I could even justify it.
throw_me_a_thingy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:20:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's hot... Lololollololkoklkik... Pfffftttppffpff milkcomingoutnose
d_snizzy ยท 300 points ยท Posted at 04:08:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Asked a friend to Facetime me the Miss Universe pageant as she was watching it at home and I was in bed and the TV was downstairs
jun2san ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:34:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend is an enabler.
ecopandalover ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:30:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
was it weird when she heard you fapping?
Tacomaster1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:14:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was it weirder when he heard her fapping?
yeah_uh_huh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:18:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm am going to do this next time something like this comes up
[deleted] ยท 244 points ยท Posted at 07:07:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I played wow I didn't take my 6 packs of dr pepper out of the plastic rings. I'd just lift up all 6 and drink them one at a time.
faceoftheinternet ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:09:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For real?
aaaaaaaarrrrrgh ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 11:25:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are in a thread full of unfathomable lazyness, and this is what makes you wonder if someone can be that lazy?
pizzabeer ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 13:03:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair that is like stupid lazy.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:15:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll admit a part of me did it for the shock factor when parents/friends came down to the basement.
faceoftheinternet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Right? There is no sipping with 6 cans
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:14:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bottles, not cans.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:05 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Worse.
juel1979 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's impressive.
When I ranked, I would end up with a pyramid of diet coke cans around my desk. Sunday before logging on was rinse and crush day. I should have had a sponsorship.
EatMyBiscuits ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Workout.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:25 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you telling me to workout? Or that it was a workout lifting them all at the same time?
EatMyBiscuits ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:15:11 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Potato_Mangler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Open multiple for bonus points
Alejandro4891 ยท 183 points ยท Posted at 02:43:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i was supposed to write a paper on a book. i didn't read it and i based my essay on what the previous owner had underlined.
thefoxsay ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:57:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did a similar thing...except I based it off of the amazon reviews...
This was my opening paragraph:
Like most books, this book has words, sentences, punctuation and even paragraphs. Right off of the bat, this doesnโt look good for the book (in my book, pun intended, at least). I am not an avid reader. Most books start out way too slow. I like to get in and get out. Feed me the information, regurgitate it first if necessary, and I will process it in my own way. Never mind my potential bias in this review, letโs press on!
I hope she couldn't tell I didn't read it.
Edit...I am terrible at spelling..
th3shameless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
huh,i do this exact same thing..except usually they devolve into a fictional story i make up on the spot and go with it
MajorJeb ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:11:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've written essays after reading the summary of the book.
laststandman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:12:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Did any of you read the book?"
"Uhh back flap, I read the back flap!"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:46 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
called the blurb
matt675 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:12:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you mean people actually read the whole book before writing the essay?
Furoan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:03:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did that. Read like one chapter out of a massive book and watched the first 20 minutes of the movie. Got a High distinction for it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:14:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Audiobooks people. It's doesn't get much easier... except not reading it at all.
jaXXXek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always did this in college. I was such a lazy piece of shit.
MeAndMyMoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mother taught me that trick.
Raincoats_George ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wrote a paper based off the spark notes. Teacher never knew the difference.
OpiumTraitor ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:30:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure about 90% of high school students have done this.
movieobsessed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:42 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm taking a college course right now where I'm supposed to read all these classic novels and write papers on them. I haven't read a single on. Instead I go on sparknotes and read the summaries. I've gotten a B on every paper I've written so far.
Limited-Edition ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:32:23 on April 7, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
you deserve your own LPT sub.
Stupid_Starfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So how did it go?
[deleted] ยท 929 points ยท Posted at 02:48:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My brother was in his room so i called him to come to my room and when he did i told him to turn off my fan. He didn't and i got sick.
toolong_cannotread ยท 477 points ยท Posted at 04:37:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing to me because you mention getting sick so non-chalant, that you even seem too lazy to care that there were consequences.
aggieboy12 ยท 771 points ยท Posted at 04:46:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In South Korea, you could have died!
iamarouet ยท 435 points ยท Posted at 07:02:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In China, you wouldn't have a brother!
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:33:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In China, everyone is your brother!
IncubusPhilosopher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:53 on March 17, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
In Thailand, your brother would be a ladyboy!
wApzor ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 10:32:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Soviet Russia, brother haves you!
kolirh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In North Korea, you wouldn't have a fan.
(I didn't type that, i copy-pasted all the words.)
(Well, except this last sentence.)
(And this one.)
(Fuck.)
dragon925 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 12:12:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck downvotes a Russian reversal?
Chimerasame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Soviet Russia, Yakov Smirnoff style joke downvotes you!
swawif ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Errr... Russian?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:50:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
South Koreans find the movie Misery all the more frightening.
nomadicfeet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:09:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only if he slept with it on
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
People really believe this. It's a farce that goads people into conserving electricity, right?
draekia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Japan, too! Craziness....
SpiralingShape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
but only in South Korea
MrTheodore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
in north korea, holy shit, this guy's super rich, he has an electric fan
hayz00s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing they weren't in a sweat lodge.
Anozeph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you mean north korea?
LiquidSilver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fan death is death supposedly caused by sleeping in a closed room containing a running electric fan. There are no verified cases of the alleged phenomenon, but it remains a widely believed urban legend in South Korea. Wikipedia
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:29:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
toolong_cannotread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's how it's spelled in, umm, Canada... Yes, Canada. Please believe me. :(
Treypyro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:51:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was throwing up sick for like 3 weeks, had to go see a doctor and everything, never bothered to tell anyone in my family purely out of laziness and apathy. I told my roommates that if I needed anything I would ask but otherwise I would just get over it.
TheGreatSpaces ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:21:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's so first world - decadently making oneself ill in the fullest confidence of being cured.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:09:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt the sickness was a consequence of the fan.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:26:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A fan made you sick?
peoplearejustpeople9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:51:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OMG does your brother know that sleeping with a fan on will cause your soul to disappear?
Missnys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ive done this more than once. Either the light or the fan.
Notablecookie ยท 1847 points ยท Posted at 05:03:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was a month and a half late for my birth
Starchy_Unicycle ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 07:00:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Out of curiosity, how has that affected your physical development?
I'd imagine you're a lot taller and younger than other people of your age
[deleted] ยท 644 points ยท Posted at 07:13:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Godolin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That took me a half second.
Drowned_In_Spaghetti ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:19:04 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's 0.025ths of a second too long!
[deleted] ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 07:37:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A month and a half, to be exact.
Notablecookie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:11:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely taller (6'3") but I'm still older because I was born in January.
XenoD ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:03:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wouldn't you be 1 and a half months older? technically?
daviator88 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 09:18:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. People his age were born a month and a half before him. So he's that much younger.
Tofabyk ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:02:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, Peple his age (same birthday) were conceived a month and a half after him. So his body is that much older.
cpt_sbx ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:04:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There are 2 ways to look at it.
1.) he is older than people with the same birthday because he was conceived earlier.
2.) he is younger than people conceived at the same time because he was born later.
WisDumbb ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:32:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Two ways to look at it. 1) My mind is spinning trying to grasp this. 2) Trying to grasp this makes my head spin.
ohmygod_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:13:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
All of you shut up and give me some candy.
EDIT: This is a hold up.
XenoD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
well, hes been alive for longer than they have, "age" is usually relevant as to when you were born, not when you started living, as a foetus, so he's biologically 1,5 months older
Stelfury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:22:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's going to be older and younger than people of his age considering thats a whole year. The people who were born the same day as him, he'll be older than the majority as he was a month and a half late.
thatfragilecapricorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:27 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I was born a month late, and I got to be too long. The bone structure of my legs is off because of it, since they had to grow in weird positions in order to fit inside the womb. Now I have lasting leg problems that have required surgery and cause me a lot of pain and difficulty walking.
svmk1987 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:22:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom often says that the only time I was early was when I was born two days in advance.
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 09:04:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your dad isn't your real dad.
Shaysdays ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 07:40:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My son was a week overdue and they induced labor, either your mom's doctor sucked at math or was damn irresponsible.
evilbrent ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 09:05:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, there's something screwy here. I'm guessing that they fucked up the due date, or calculated it from a guess of the conception date and got it wrong.
Ten days after the due date the placenta starts to degrade. 15 days after and the placenta is basically useless.
No-one is 45 days late and lives.
eketros ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:53:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There are recorded cases of pregnancies being very overdue. They don't really happen anymore because doctors will induce because it is dangerous, as you say -- the placenta can degrade, and the baby can be stillborn. But that doesn't mean it always degrades. If OP was born a long time ago, or if the mother was having the baby outside of the normal healthcare system, then it is possible.
madjic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Implying s/he is from a industrialized country
Shaysdays ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:18:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard that before, is there a cite?
I don't think you're lying, just curious why that is- is there some advantage to the placenta degrading?
evilbrent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:22:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No cite. Just my daughter being overdue, and my sister had her baby (last week! yay!) 10 days overdue.
You want to be asking the opposite question - what advantage would there be to a placenta that lasted longer than the pregnancy?
If you want an advantage, I believe that everything degrades, including the amniotic sac, which can trigger the labour.
Shaysdays ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:27:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The pregnancy is still ongoing if the fetus is alive.
And labor would be the 'natural' end of a pregnancy.
evilbrent ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:43:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Evolution has gone to an awful lot of trouble with placental mammals to devote a significant proportion of a female's life to gestating younglings. For every mammal there's a distinct sweet spot of gestational period - not long enough and the baby/calf/foal isn't well enough developed, too long and too many resources are required of the mother. And basically this length is set at a time period where if it were any longer it would significantly reduce the mother's survival chances (statistically) - the child's life is paramount. In humans, the child is born helpless, so the mother needs to be able to feed and care for and carry the baby around, so the mother needs to not die, but only just.
Pregnancies go for a specific period, and then they stop. The body calls off the pregnancy. It stops all the being-pregnant hormones. If the pregnancy has ended in a labour at this stage then the mother's body says to it "Ok, that's enough, I need my resources back now." and it turns off the tap. The fetus surviving in the mother's belly would not help the mother.
And remember, this isn't some mechanism that was developed just in humans. It's a pattern that developed over millions of years in the early placental mammals, and which winning formula carried through into every mammal alive today. Pregnancy too short: baby not survive enough. Pregnancy too long: mother not survive enough.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't make up medical "facts" and pass them off as the truth, thanks.
bestwhit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:39:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/pediatrics/perinatal_problems/postmature_infant.html?qt=&sc=&alt=
http://childrensnyp.org/mschony/P02399.html
http://familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/pregnancy-newborns/labor-childbirth/labor-induction.html
http://web.archive.org/web/20080521123049/http://www.vhi.ie/hfiles/hf-651.jsp
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:11:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the info. The "10 days" and "15 days" past your due date though isn't factual.
bestwhit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I had some trouble finding serious scientific articles (probably because it sends me back to my days in
Namcollege writing my thesis) but the point still rests that basically overterm pregnancies are pretty dangerous and one of the reasons is due to placental insufficiency.evilbrent ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're a special kind of stupid aren't you?
No there isn't a single day when it busts. But there is a period where the incidence of fetal distress and risk of death become too high.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. Keep being a pretentious asshole, it's gotten you this far in life!
evilbrent ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:46:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god. You're like my dad. Just because it's SOMETIMES relevant to reply with "Oh really? Show me the evidence.", doesn't mean that it isn't USUALLY relevant to reply with "Oh really? Well you learn something every day."
Without a doubt, you're the one being the asshole here. Everyone else that's responded to me here has done so politely.
Series_of_Accidents ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:23:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My sister and I were both 3 weeks late and born via Cesarean. I had no idea the placenta became useless at 15 days. I'm now starting to wonder if they might have gotten our due dates wrong. I just always assumed my family like a little extra gestation.
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not an exact number. And maybe useless is a misleading word. But they really don't like to do it. Placenta degradation happens differently in every case but does accelerate.
Series_of_Accidents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, there's going to be some variability around that number, but it's still 6 days between 15 and 21 days, so I assume the placenta was somewhat damaged by my birth. I wonder if there were any deficits as a result of that.
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
unlikely. You're already 'baked' by that point, possibly overcooked, but no reason to expect you're in danger. I'm using my medical skills as an engineer by profession to guess that oxygen deprivation could be a risk at the end of the day. My understanding is that it's risk of fetal distress - that when the labour DOES happen then the baby doesn't have enough oxygen for the procedure and could come out blue. And that is a scary proposition. (My kid was blue when they came out but the dr fixed him up in no time. lf it hadn't been in a c-section then my son would have probably not made it.)
Series_of_Accidents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wowza, glad you both made it through alright. I was breech and late, as well as being second born at a time when VBAC was uncommon, so I was definitely a c-section.
13374L ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:10:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Due date is calculated from the last menstruation, not conception.
bitterred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was 16 days late, and the doctors were very concerned... they had been trying to get my mom to give birth for two days before they went with a C-section.
RecoveringSexToy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was three weeks late though... Am I useless?
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No but you came pretty close to the edge of safe pregnancy in my understanding. I bet your skin was pretty dry and wrinkly when you came out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Many one say the same thing about being 70 days early, im still here.
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
early is different to late. early the risk is that you're underdeveloped. late the risk is that the mother's body will stop supporting you.
iprefermuffins ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:59:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe his/her parents really wanted a premature baby.
Is this something I can joke about? I'm not sure if this is something I can joke about.
Shaysdays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll allow it.
Hell, fucking Cabbage Patch preemies were a thing, right?
Maasterix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor said there were claw marks on the inside of her womb
CovingtonLane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or the mother didn't give the correct information to the doctor. The doctor calculates a due date based on the information he gets, right?
mysticaddiction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know a woman who carried all of her (5) babies to 44 weeks. Her Doctor said it was unusual but normal for her. Her mother also carried all of her babies past term.
So for some it is normalish.
Also people miscalculate
Notablecookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To try and clear up the arguments it was both me being overdue and a doctors screw up. I was expected about two and a half weeks early. I went past that date by the month and a half but it was more like three weeks late if compared to the average.
Msktb ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:40:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your poor mom. My mom was pregnant with me for 10 months.
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:50:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was pregnant with me for almost two years. Almost turned into a poached egg.
CleoMom ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:17:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you an elephant?
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ding ding ding! You've won a free upvote!
BellicosePacifist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:03:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, dude. Too lazy to even start life. That's some dedication.
PacloverN1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:18:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know, my friend was born early and always gets things done....
Kaibunny143 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:07:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, after 2 weeks they induce that shit.
Dakrys ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:44:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your mother is lying to you. That's not physically possible. I was born Cesarean after 14 days. And I was basically dying in the womb. I might have become septic or something, I can't remember.
Three times that long? Your mother cheated and the late birth is an excuse for your father.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:47:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
JBalk9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
RIP.
copperpony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Um. Sorry for your loss.
explainittomeplease ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I heard (from a movie, so I'm sure it's true) that the longer the baby is in there the smarter they end up being. Anything noteable about you other than your cookie?
mathnerd3_14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking the same thing, but I heard it on Kyle XY. The show claimed that Einstein was a late birth, and that allowed his brain to develop more.
Notablecookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I lit my hand on fire to give someone an awesome high five. Didn't burn badly because we used some kind of alcohol but probably wasn't that smart anyway.
explainittomeplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:30 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did it work? Was it awesome?
Notablecookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:46 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it was the best high five of all time
sylviad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Out of curiosity, where were you born? I was 3 weeks late and my mom went into labor at 6 am the day state law required that they induce (TX).
Notablecookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Born in a small town outside of edmonton in Canada. Born a 1 am in January.
JBalk9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was 3 months early.
ununpentium89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was three months early for mine.
Which is weird considering I can be quite lazy now. But never actually late for anything...
Ciderbat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least you were still born
Ciderbat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:16:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yes that was a dead baby joke.
skypointing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not questioning the validity of this if you're serious, but how? don't they induce if the baby is like a week late?
Notablecookie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure about the laws in Canada (where I was born) but there was no health complications so I guess they just never got to it.
skypointing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ah, okay! fair enough. I'm American so I'm just going off what I've been told happens here.
neamhsplach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was born three weeks late. Interestingly, no one is ever surprised by this fact.
One of these days I'll figure out the secret of punctuality...
Nottooyoung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You were six weeks overdue? Your poor, poor mother.
reddog323 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Three weeks for me. Oddly enough, I've been about 5 minutes late for just about everything since. I keep saying I'm going to have people hold my funeral up ten minutes so I can catch up with myself.
GammaAlanna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus.
Notablecookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was -35 (Celsius) so it was either stay warm or freeze my baby ass off.
jorgest3r_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was never born
myersdylan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"I wish this baby would come already!" Ehhhh, I don't really feeeel like it.
kairla8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me too! Well, 4 weeks.
itsnevermillertime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude...
Zevorrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was in labor with me for three days, and even then I didn't decide to come out until they were prepping her for a c-section.
noc007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Supposedly a month late myself. I say "supposedly" because my mom is a liar and a narcissist (/r/raisedbynarcissists). Hopefully your mom doesn't hang it over your head like mine does.
Juslotting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bad traffic?
Kindhamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This guy wins.
Everybody else go home.
MuffinMedic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You were due early? No way doctors would allow a fetus to be carried that far past due.
JackAceHole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There were claw marks on the inside of your mom's uterus...
twodogsandababy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my son was 22 days late and then i was in labor for 4 days...he's pretty lazy.
NoApollonia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure how this would work....usually a doctor induces if a the baby is more than 2-3 weeks late.
no_sleep_for_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How is that even possible?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Nah. I'll get out in a couple of weeks"
Thecandymaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"It's been nine months" Yeaaaaaaa just five more minutes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was 2-1/2 months early.
FalconOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:32 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Its like sleeping in warm bed during the coldest part of winter, You don't wanna leave the warmth.
pashafisk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:57 on December 3, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me too!
Not_Steve ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:38:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll get around to being born sometime."
[deleted] ยท 215 points ยท Posted at 04:14:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Haasts_Eagle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:01:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You have highlighted an interesting issue there, we can't refer to the original xbox as xbox 1 or anything similar any more...
mathnerd3_14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:44:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This will be one of those trivia questions in a couple decades:
Order the following according to release date: Xbox, Xbox One, Xbox Infinity, Xbox 360, Xbox Green, Xbox Pleasebuyme.
EdricStorm ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:10:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Xbox, Xbox Green, Xbox 360, Xbox Slim (How dare you forget), Xbox One, Xbox Infinitythatneverhappened, Xbox Pleasebuymebutmydashboardisanextra5.99dlc
MeAndMyMoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes, me and my brothers found a long enough stick outside one day and used that to turn on the Xbox. My dad thought we were genius'.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:56:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MeAndMyMoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:46:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, I meant the first Xbox
nazijew666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"XBOX ON!" now "Romba Swiff!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was quite displeased when I found out the xbox slim has to have an actual finger touch it to turn it on and off like a smartphone screen. You mean I have to get up out of bed and walk (literally) 2 feet? Fuck that it stays on forever
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your shirts must be huge.
koalapants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing. I would rather walk to the basement where my clothes hang next to the washer to get something to wear everyday, than take my clean laundry upstairs to my closet.
MannR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
good thing now you only have to say xbox on
eeeebbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:28 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this reminds me of the finglonger
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 738 points ยท Posted at 06:05:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Last semester I went to class Monday - Thursday. I had yoga class Tuesday and Thursday, which gave me an excuse to wear yoga pants all day on those days.
By the end of the semester, I was wearing them every day, disregarding my jeans completely on Monday and Wednesday. It got to the point where I would sleep in them, roll out of bed, throw on a bra and t-shirt, and call it good.
Every day.
EDIT: Yes I washed them. I alternated pants during the weekend.
And to the guys saying "thank you," flattering, but I'm not much to look at. Or rather, there's a little extra to look at. Not obese, but I have a serious muffin toppage.
AuraEllis ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 11:16:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to turn up the heat in my apartment so I just sleep in leggings and a hoodie.
In the morning I roll out of bed and step into a strapless bra or tie a bikini top on. This way I don't have to take the hoodie off, only lift it up because I don't have to get my arms through a real bra.
There are always a few bikini top/strapless bra choices balled up at the end of my bed keeping my feet warm because I'm too lazy to wear socks in the tundra masquerading as an apartment where I live.
I'm really growing in grad school
indiecore ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 13:57:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a thing where I need it to be cold outside my bed but warm inside. I have left the window open when it was -30 C and a whiteout blizzard so I could play arctic explorer under like 50 blankets and in a hoodie and PJs.
I'm pretty sure my landlord hates me.
ohmygod_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:28:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Arctic Explorer! My favorite bedtime game since childhood. Meet left foot and right foot, my valiant and brave explorers. They have faced the worst of it.
Jekerdud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I did that, my roommates would hate me. My room has the thermostat, so if it's cold, the furnace is always running. It would be super hot outside my room, and very cold inside.
They hate me enough as it is, I like a cool room, and I have all my vents covered just to keep it cool in there.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:51:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AuraEllis ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:03:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god no. I go to a top 100 law school and all and it was fun to see everyone try hard and dress in business casual and sloooowwwly descend into first just button ups and jeans then leggings and long tops and now it's finals so zero fucks are given. This girl wore a hooded onesie yesterday. Imma befriend her, together we can reach new lows.
Smile_for_the_Camera ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:13:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is pretty much me, except I don't even bother with the bra. My hoodie is big enough where it doesn't make any VISUAL difference, yet when I'm alone I still get the added perk of easily bouncy and caressing my fun bags.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:00:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I...think I love you.
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:52:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the true lady-like behavior no one ever suspects about college women.
Step3_Profit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:35:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went looking for GW posts. Was not disappointed.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you smell good
kemikiao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bikini top bra under a hoodie...
That's just brilliant. Also hot, but mostly brilliant.
PENIS_VAGINA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is awesomely poetic.
ghettosparty ยท 148 points ยท Posted at 07:22:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
True dedication would have meant going to class without a bra
yeya93 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 11:37:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this. If it's cold I'll justify it by wearing a hoodie.
xBarneyStinsonx ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 10:55:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And every man would have thanked you for doing so.
JuPasta ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:51:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't remember the last time I wore a bra. It's too much effort.
Potato_Mangler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:09 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laziness boner...
zesk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And the white t-shirt freash out of the washer
OneEyedCharlie ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 08:58:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you sound like every single girl at my college
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:10:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:19:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The guys don't give a shit because they're just as messy, and they're getting laid.
mee_craw ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 08:52:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you sound like 80% of the girls I went to college with
indiecore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:56:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lazyness isn't limited by chromosomes.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:42:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wear the same jeans and sweatshirt everyday just because it's much more comfortable and easier than looking normal and choosing different clothes everyday.
Fratcketeering ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:21:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing. I own one pair of jeans and one sweatshirt. So worth it.
BlackBlizzNerd ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:33:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was scared I was the only one. Always felt sort of bad/disgusting.. But I also didn't(don't?) care enough.
indiecore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Protip: Throw your jeans in the freezer and crank it down to really cold. Leave 'em there while you make supper or something.
Source: I've worn in raw denim. You gotta learn these tricks.
Arkzora ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, some sweats and a sweater and I'm good to go. Wore it yesterday? Doesn't smell? You're good.
OceanRacoon ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 11:35:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're still disgusting, you're just not the only one.
dannyandsega ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:09:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I do everyday, didn't realize I should probably be a little more ashamed of my laziness
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:43 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sure wasn't ashamed. I was comfortable, I didn't give a fuck.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:06:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I need to date someone like you.
starlinguk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:47:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You may have been a bit smelly.
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:38:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, underwear was changed and I showered regularly. Also, it's college, everyone is smelly.
starlinguk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yoga pants get smellier much more quickly than yer average pair of jeans, because jeans are looser (provided they aren't jeggings).
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I also washed them regularly. Jeez, I HOPE I never reach the level of wearing unwashed yoga pants every waking moment.
starlinguk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But ... but ... what did you wear when you were washing them?!
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Another pair of yoga pants, of course.
explodingcranium2442 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:26:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every. Damn. Day.
This is my life. I'm a proud yoga pants addict.
luther1194 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's the principle that some girl doesn't care about their appearance. It's about time we find a girl who's not obsessed with their appearance.
The_Spare_Key ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:31:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So... How you doin'?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:55:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On behalf of men everywhere, thanks!
deegus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Under my physiotherapy education, almost every student wore exercise clothes. There was a lot of yogapants , all day, all time.
Malfarm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is my life every semester without yoga.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Jacob_The_Duck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Scrubs are the same way, you just don't and really can't give a shit about what you where if you own scrubs.
reddit_alt_username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wish all girls did this.
elocinhello ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I love my two yoga days. I'm going to miss it next semester.
breakeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I find yoga pants or sweatpants/sweatshirts to be highly attractive on girls.
CammTheMuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy though. You went to class more in 2 weeks, than I did all semester.
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went to the campus, I occasionally skipped class to play Magic with my friends.
GeorgeStark520 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The men in the world thank you
theEPIC-NESS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't need an excuse to wear yoga pants
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's called college sweetheart
Renniem108 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're the best kind of lazy
LuisaRose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same, except my excuse is Asian dance team rehearsal four days a week :D
In7meanFlavors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine my joy of finding a career that allows you to wear yoga pants to work. Shoes optional.
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Massage therapy. My mom gets to wear a scrub top, yoga pants, and no shoes in her class.
In7meanFlavors ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Precisely ;)
xpletive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
God bless
throwaway_9999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went to a college known for its Ballet major. Dancers wore jeans and leotards to class.
HeadxDMC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you
Thecrazyamerican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did you wash them.
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, Thursday night. I'd wear a different pajama pair until Sunday night.
Thecrazyamerican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that nice. I just realized no matter how I reply I cannot avoid sounding creepy.
Red-pop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's god's work right there
doodlebug001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do that with my work pants every day. Wear em till they're dirty! Only problem is the having to slip em off for a minute to change underwear. Potential solution: No underwear.
Love_Trust_Hope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That was my senior year
mommy2libras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's kind of how I went through high school, but the opposite. Whatever shirt I wore to bed, I wore to school. I'd slide a bra on and then pick up whatever jeans I'd taken off the night before and left beside my bed. Shirts got changed every day- except for the flannels. Jeans were probably worn for 3 or 4 days before I'd get a new pair out.
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jeans need to be washed about once a month. Have you ever seen a dirty pair of jeans?
I think I would have fallen into that routine if my shirts weren't ripped up and stained, thus rendering them sleeping shirts.
mommy2libras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm short so I've never been able to let my jeans go that long. The hems are usually dirty as hell, especially in HS when there was snow and mud everywhere :(
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Aww. That's my opposite problem. I'm tall so my jeans turn into ankle length jeans after shrinking in the wash.
Thadenvy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We need more people like you.
Yuyoyuppe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just one pair? That sounds foul
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a capri-pair from the school store when the weather warmed up. I alternated after that.
throwawaytimee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No one minded
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Change underwear maybe? No? Ok.
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, I did that. And showered. I washed them before the following week. But Monday through Thursday, it was yoga pants, all day err day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:06 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mandatory "a/s/l"
Also it sounds a lot like guys and jeans. Except we don't shower.
achmedclaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You sound awesome, wanna get some coffee/hot chocolate sometime?
amanda_pandemonium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this every day. No shame.
heyitsaubrey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is me right now, I even put my work pants over them. The only time I take them off is to shower or wash them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I wonder why no one stopped you from wearing leggings.
thenerdyglassesgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stopped me? No one noticed and/or cared. Even if someone did, I would have given no fucks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me. People noticed and, more than likely, enjoyed.
Aim_snap_fail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for this!
NaturesWanderer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yum. The tops of muffins are always the best part anyways.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If your yoga class was Monday/Wednesday, I would have had to seriously creep your comments to make sure you aren't a friend of mine.
Edit: Creeped anyway, can confirm you aren't my friend. Eerily similar though.
Bear3528 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are the reason I love college. Never change. Literally.
brickmack ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:11:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think Im in love...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:07:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Guys dont mind shit hell we support that! More yoga pants for women everywhere!!
kaylaloveskarissa ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:57:46 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmm muffins. Nothing is wrong with thick girls. Or muffins.
nightwing2024 ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 08:02:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
You are my dream girl.
Edit: The humor was apparently lost on Reddit.
damnatio_memoriae ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 08:29:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
That sounded hot until you admitted to not showering all week.
Edit: Downvote me if you want. There's nothing hot about sleeping in your clothes and wearing them the next day for an entire week. I'm not saying I haven't worn the same clothes two days in a row, but I can certainly admit that I was not attractive when I did it.
sunkzero ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:21:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She did shower, it's also how the yoga pants got laundered.
lookthataway ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 06:09:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Save empty water bottles -> fill them with whatever beverage you want -> poke a small hole in the cap -> put cap back on. You now have a dish-free, spill-free, worry-free adult baby bottle that you can drink laying down.
crazy4finalfantasy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:16:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is genius!
ironicallysad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lazy people are geniuses
JeremyR22 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:44:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Real Men of Genius! Mister Worry-free Adult Baby Bottle Inventor!
MrsBurp ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:25:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mum had my baby bottles packed away for a few years, I ended up getting them out at age 6-7 and drinking everything out of them so I could lie down and drink. My mum thought there was something seriously wrong with my development and chucked them all out.
lex917 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My 15 year old sister does this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, new hero.
rofosho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have figured out how to drink out of poland spring bottles while laying down already but this is a good idea too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HOW
rofosho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can control the flow of liquids since when you turn a bottle upside down entirely, it forms a vacuum kinda with your lips. WHen you lay down in bed, turn your head sideways and stick your lips (closed) on the mouth of the bottle. Than turn your head so you're staring up and slowly purse your lips so you get some liquid in but not too much where you drown. When you're done drinking, purse your lips again, turn head and tilt bottle away.
That's a really shitty tutorial but I'm unsure how to really explain it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just tried this, it works. Wow now I never have to sit up again, I can just roll to one side and groggily (read: drunkenly) imbibe. How could I not figure this out.
rofosho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yay!! The funny thing is I never found it being lazy, I was just thirsty and tired from sports practice when I was younger when I figured it out. Never knew it was weird til college.
[deleted] ยท 541 points ยท Posted at 03:45:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TThorne49 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:15:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think that someone comes by your car sees the towel and thinks "well if it's covered by a towel it must be something valuable he doesn't want me to see" the. Breaking in to your car to lift the towel to find your litter
KrakatauGreen ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:12:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like to pretend it is because I specifically recycle, and only have passed by trash cans. I have a recycling bin 15 feet from where I park the car.
eric22vhs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nice. Do you do this with only bottles? I feel like as messy as bottles get, it's not that bad. But when it's a mix of bottles, paper, coffee cups, it starts just looking terrible. Overall, I just recommend cleaning it out.
KrakatauGreen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It starts as bottles, and then I use them to create little spots to nestle less sealed items (like you have listed) in 'safe' positions so they don't tip over. I just ride alone, usually. It's pretty cool.
spasticpoodle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:21:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this too. What I do now is to dump all of that shit into the garbage can at the gas station while my car is filling up. I clean for as long as the gas is flowing. You can get a lot done in 2 minutes.
ioncehadsexinapool ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:36:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm.....I'm not alone?
Merhouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:57 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
That was my first thought!
Boy_of_fan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:21:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Car is dirty, just buy a new car.
gotacastleinbrooklyn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:18:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lol
graviga ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:05:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would be too lazy to pick up the towel and put the garbage under it.
tHeSiD ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:12:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this too but I just cleaned all that up when I was at a gas station. Better use of the time while filling gas. And also the trash cans were right there beside you.
Quillava ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But its so much more comfortable to sit with the door open while the gas pumps.
wolverinejive ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:20:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a delivery driver for a pizza place. All the little run slips plus eating/drinking I do while at work ends up becoming habit to end up in my floor board. It literally gets the point where it just fills up my entire passenger seat area, then I finally clean it out.
Xpectopatronum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:07:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me?
paperbanjo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to deliver pizza. My car was like this, too.. would use a pizza bag and place it on top of it all the stuff in front of the passenger seat. I got robbed in December last year and they emptied my car of all the trash while looking for shit to take.. took my money and phone, too, but thanks for cleaning my car!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cable guy checking in. Despite how many times a day I'm parked right next to a dumpster after having worked on the utility pole my passenger floor and seat of my truck is a mess of bottles, wrappers and cable bits.
In fact the other day I opened up to door to get a tool that had fallen in the pile and the mess poured out onto the alley as if trying to throw away itself. Instead of picking it up and chucking the mess in the dumpster 2 feet away, I crammed it back in my truck.
I may have a problem.
YaDamnSkippy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:55:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would always throw my empty cigarette packs in the passenger floorboard.
When that started to overflow, i'd start throwing them in the backseat.
Britt2211 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:10:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this but without the towel. My car is filthy.
satansmight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:18:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friends call my car "The Dumpster".
eric22vhs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:32:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
About how my last one wound up... I really don't plan on going that far with it again.
handbanana9023 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was called "The Trash Bucket," But now I have a new car and I keep it as clean as possible.
FantasyFuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing... hahaha I've found that one of those grocery bags fits perfectly over my shifter, and its easier to throw the shit in there tie it and throw the whole bag away than to spend time picking up the shredded receipts and stuff.
keithpetersen7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Honda element?
Kaibunny143 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not alone!!!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Omg yes. My car is disgusting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have piles of CDs on my passenger seat but I don't feel like sorting them or putting them away and I also don't want to look like a slob so I just throw a sweater over them :p
Varyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just loop a plastic bag around your gearstick so it hangs off the passenger side. Easy removal, easy replacement.
SeckTor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How have I never thought of the towel before?
That aside, you described my passenger seat perfectly.
poppyseedtoast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put my papers like receipts, straw covers, stamp cards and the like in one cup holder. Someone who always has coffee with them was riding with me. I tossed the stuff into my center console. He ended up trying to get a cable out of there and called it a "hamsters nest." I was so ashamed.
midnightgiraffe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My sister had the same plan with her new car. It did not last.
amen_break_fast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a dream last night that someone broke into my car and stole everything, including all the trash. I was really sad about it. I think I've developed an unhealthy connection to my car refuse.
BentWookee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I keep a small trash bin in the back seat floor. One of those small home office bins. Whenever I get gas, I empty it in their trash.
Except for any recycling. I keep that back and toss that in the bin next to the driveway once a month.
lostmetoreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My husband does this. We now share a vehicle or Red bull mountain would be alive and well.
Nesthe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So you made trash-towel lasagne? Spectacular.
icecadavers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this all the time. It was bad at first, and then I started delivering pizza, and it went too far.
One night, I almost set my car on fire. It was around twilight, and I was making my way back from a delivery run, doing my usual - windows down, music up, chain-smoking as I drove. At the time, I was rolling my own cigarettes, and as anyone who has smoked unfiltered knows they can get kind of flimsy in that last inch or so, without the filter as a base. As I stopped at a light, a gust of wind slapped the cigarette out of my hand, right into the gap between the seat and the console.
Fuck fuck fuck, gotta get this before the light turns... My hands didn't fit into that space well, but i just barely managed to flick it out into the space in front of my seat and stomp it out among the pile of receipts and napkins and packets of pepper and parmesan before red turned green. Crisis averted, I turned onto the city's main thoroughfare, the final stretch home.
If you're familiar with downtown Austin, TX, you might know the madness that is Guadalupe. Literally the border to the UT Austin campus, and a major shopping area, and one of the busiest streets in the city. The side opposite campus is bordered with bike lanes, with parking spots beyond that. In the evenings especially, drivers are dodging students, bums, cyclists, and cars trying to pull into or out of tiny parking spaces - all convinced that traffic actually moving down the street will somehow, I don't know, phase through them or something instead of colliding.
The attentive driver I am, I was focused on all these hazards, and not so much on the faint smoke wafting up from underfoot. That is, until wafting became billowing from the aforementioned pile of paper trash. Feeling like John Candy and Steve Martin at the same time, I set about frantically stomping everything with both feet while desperately trying to keep some of my attention on the dozens of things I was about to run into.
Somehow I managed to suffocate the smoldering before it became (as far as I could see) flames, and I pulled into the parking lot at the store and cleaned out my car. I decided to keep it that way. It was not easy, but I finally hit on something that worked. For me, anyway, perhaps it will work for you. The new car may help, because it is a new setting and seeing it full of trash isn't yet a familiar sight.
After failing to maintain a trash bag (it kept overfilling) or a regular cleaning schedule (it was too easy to put off something I only did once a week) I started just taking any trash with me, every single time I left the car. It's a huge pain in the ass at first, and you will often forget at first, but the point is to never let yourself get away with leaving the garbage in the car if you notice it. Don't ever start making excuses! Perhaps in life-and-death situations is okay. Maybe.
The point is to build a routine, it's the foundation of any good habit. I made myself habitually check for trash before getting out of the car - keys, phone, trash - and now it's second nature; I don't even think about it.
It also helps if you minimize the amount and spread of what trash you put in your car in the first place. I quit smoking, that cut down significantly; I quit delivering pizza, and the difference was drastic. If you open food, put all the packaging together - this is especially simple with fast food, but I see so many people who just toss the wrapper in the seat next to the bag, and leave empty cups in the cup holders. Simply put, if the trash is all in one place, you have less excuse not to gather it when you get out.
Wasn't planning on writing a book but if you seriously want to keep your new car clean, I hope this helps.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be guilty of this too; started hanging a gas station snack bag around the shifter. Still get the benefit of being lazy and shoving trash next to you with the illusion of you being a responsible, tidy person. Although, I have found myself using larger and larger plastic bags...
wanabeswordsman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy hell, my wife does this and it infuriates me! JUST THROW THE TRASH IN A TRASH BAG GODDAMN.
THE_GR8_MIKE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Has a bunch of shit in car
Buys a new one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Try keeping a small bag in your car to put trash in and just replace it when it gets full. That helped my dirty car problem.
juel1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least you cover it. My husband's car often becomes a sad repository for Cook Out containers, McD's bags, empty cigarette packs, and soda/water bottles. It's pretty bad sometimes. Luckily we've been too broke for him to drive. His car is pretty clean for a change.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Buy a box of small garbage bags and leave them in the car. Throw the trash in a bag and when you fill up for gas, throw the bag in the waste container.
konkretekid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing but the worst is if you plow, that entire side becomes nothing but wrappers and red bull cans. Unfortunately I kept the habit and do it everyday, even in the new truck I bought. ..
doodlebug001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put an open trash bag on my passenger floor cause I'm apparently too lazy to drop trash in the shopping bag hanging behind the passenger seat. It's only marginally effective as I miss sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ok easy fix.. plastic shopping bag hooked onto something in the car (stuck into the glovebox, on the gear shift, pinned to the back of the passenger seat). Then fill the bag... keep extras in the glove box and tada, towel is back to former use and new car stays clean and you're only being slightly less lazy. Source: I've been doing this for the past two years in my new fiesta and it works perfectly!
Just don't forget that eventually you will have to toss the trash filled tied off bags that accumulate in the back seat...
dignam4live ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, this is me. I still haven't unpacked my car from my camping trip I went on two months ago. Also every time I finish drinking something while driving, I simply throw the empty bottle/can over my shoulder into the back seat.
zakool21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My game is stuffing the door pockets/trays as full as they can get and not have stuff popping out. Only when things start falling onto the floor do I go empty it to the trash.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder why....
Cheers!
0311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have this problem too unless I regularly stop by dumpsters to clean out.
brian21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just stuff some empty bags behind the front seats in those pockets, then use those for trash. When they fill up and you're pumping gas or something, throw them out and grab another one.
redebekadia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Make it a rule to empty the trash every time you get gas. Thats my rule. Trash can is always right there next to the car and can do it while the pump is clicked to auto pump.
luther1194 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
plastic bag with one hook around the stickshift/ whatever its called, makes a great trash and cleanup takes seconds
coffedrank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:24 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
tldr
prosebefohoes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:36:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this was my corolla from 16 - 22. I would cruise every so often to a random shitty neighbourhood, open the passenger door, and use my window scraper like a shovel to just throw all that shit out the door. It's recycling though because poor people use garbage to make miracles.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:02:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
atomofconsumption ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
bitch
sleeplessorion ยท 225 points ยท Posted at 03:53:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Opened up my window and pissed out on the roof rather than walk all the way to the bathroom.
nipplemuffins ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:59:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time.
mash3735 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:48:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i did it onto snow once. im not a good artist.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:36 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me? I wrote my name on the snow on my roof. I don't know why I even tried denying it...
mash3735 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:13 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I might be.
juel1979 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:45:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We had a door in our old above garage apartment that went to nowhere (top floor, no balcony). We called it the suicide door. I'm sure my husband has peed out the suicide door at least once. If I were properly equipped, I know I would have at least once just to say I did.
ico2ico2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:47:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once pissed in a pot-plant for the same reason. I now have a chamberpot and it's awesome.
blarkul ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:47:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to piss in the sink at night while the bathroom was just 10 feet further away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing the window didn't slam shut again.
gpinks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I cannot remember the amount of times I've done this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna do this but I'm scared to get used to it.
JustAnotherStud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have done this plent of times, i also piss in empty soda cans in my room occasionally
forbucci ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i go pee out my back door to avoid having to flush the toilet all the time.
residential neighborhood. no fucks given
Sefilis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this.. feels good man
martin_luther_bling ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:32:55 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing wrong with this. Why waste water flushing the toilet, its just pee.
[deleted] ยท 1207 points ยท Posted at 04:35:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted a sandwich, so i tied a note around my iguanas neck and had him walk over to my gf to make me one, realizing he couldn't bring it back, didn't think that one through
fast_walking_man ยท 746 points ยท Posted at 08:09:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
she probably misinterpreted your note and made the iguana a sandwich
Sventertainer ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 09:44:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She would do that to a beloved pet? D:
DZCreeper ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 11:47:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She gave the iguana the sandwich, not made the iguana into a sandwich you sick fucks.
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:53:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm, lizard loaf.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:43:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lizard Loaf Towing.
garbonzo607 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the ol' Reddit switch-a-meal.
the_blibinator ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:09:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And subsequently received top marks from Prof. McGonagall.
Tyler11223344 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:43:07 on December 20, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She probably slapped the iguana for being sexist instead
Dyshin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or into one
Dancingspaghetti69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:08 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Or made an iguana sandwich.
rprpr ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 08:21:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How do you make an iguana do anything?
palanski ยท 183 points ยท Posted at 07:29:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is your girlfriend another iguana?
Erob90 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:29:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, but after reading the "make me a sandwich" note she made an iguana sandwich.
chickenboy2064 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:50:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Iguana came back with new note: "Done. It's in the kitchen." Sandwich sat in kitchen for 3 days, uneaten.
aaaaaaaarrrrrgh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:14:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's just waiting for the sandwich to become sentient and come over.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant. Sorry for low quality, best I could find.
Ierokilljoy ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 05:35:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I love this
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:58:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once tied a can opener on my dogs collar and sent him to my sister. She just left it on him.
GRANDMA_FISTER ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:08:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, you habe the first living iguana mail delivery service, who careS
GrillMySkull ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:44:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Note to self: Get. An. Iguana.
Coppanuva ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:57:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is... is this a Foxtrot reference?
BenFoldsFourLoko ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:55:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant, but she didn't bring you one :(?
entirely_irrelephant ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 07:38:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf do you think she is, an iguana?
bullshitname0906 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:34:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to think. I like you.
Confused_Erection ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:10 on March 17, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
"Iguana Sandwich"
juxtaposition21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:45:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She can
D1STURBED36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damnit.
Why did i get gold fish?! I cant send them out to get me food :(
beebhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
>iguana >gf >implying this actually happened
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your gf is supposed to walk it back. Duh.
Tijuana_Pikachu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So did you just tie it to him and hope he'd eventually walk into the kitchen?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, i told my gf to give her a banana, she soon realized why
Tijuana_Pikachu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The best lazy schemes are gambles.
SuperRedneck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She can bring it back so you're still going strong.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 08:11:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sentence runs on and on and on and on and on and on.
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 07:05:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 514 points ยท Posted at 04:42:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I only needed to wipe one more time and was out of tp... I used the brown roll from the inside.
blobowab ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:47:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a college student living in the dorms I have done this numerous times.
The_Knackjife ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:13:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
what do you do with the brown tube afterward? you cant flush it
Kindhamster ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:43:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You can't tell me how to live my life!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes you can
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:36:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do that everytime I run out
Bio_Hazardous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is your username a Supernatural reference?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It is.
creepymusic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:55:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then how could you tell you were done wiping!?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:28:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was still dry after the "wipe"
ehcanadianguy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:39:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I just don't wipe, too much work
dogateit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:34:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think about doing this every time I run out.
lordsoftheunderworld ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:19:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
and we have a winner
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think the winner is the guy who slept with the lights on instead of getting up to turn them off.
GRANDMA_FISTER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:15:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did it work?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it did
Ciderbat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:29:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once realized that, yes, I would have a reason for keeping that used xmas bag tissue paper... [fuck that's uncomfortable!]
LightlessLightbulb ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:46:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is not lazy. This is desperate.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:52:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say I was too lazy to open the cabinet door right next to me and change the roll for one wipe, but yea it does sound more like desperation.
JeremyR22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is not lazy. It's a MacGuyver solution to an impending brown underwear situation.
essentialfloss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ouch.
foxcake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Always a bad idea. The vertical ridges in it scrape.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not the only one.
Dakrys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have absolutely done this. I even had more toilet paper just out of arm's reach. But I pooped completely without regarding the TP situation. There was zero.
I ended up using my knife to make evenly sized pieces of cardboard to scrape the nonsense off of me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not laziness, it's efficiency.
NITEM4N ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just use stuff from the garbage can to finish wiping with.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I just stop wiping...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've contemplated that so many times
Sefilis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or rip the "acknowledgements" page out of the book I was reading because I had run out of toilet paper and wasn't completely satisfied. Clutched it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:58 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was a month when I didn't feel like buying TP, so I only pooped immediately before showering.
Amp3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:19 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had to do that last week at a friends place. Couldn't be bothered to yell about needing a roll so used the cardboard. Wasn't that bad really to be honest
Bitter_Bastard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used...hand
kairla8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the only reddit post I have ever finished. The irony is not lost.
Lady_Sassbutt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:39:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, that's smart!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:43:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To me this seems more like an act of desperation rather than laziness
mysticaddiction ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:57:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Waste not
paraon ยท 1113 points ยท Posted at 01:54:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
had three weeks to do a simple project, started doing it 2 hours before due.
[deleted] ยท 761 points ยท Posted at 02:48:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I procrastinated so badly on a project that I did it entirely on my smartphone the day it was due in the breaks between periods. I emailed it to myself, printed it out in the library, except for one problem. It was on legal paper. Thank god I'm an art major so I could scribble out a decent cover page and look creative, and had access to a paper cutter.
[deleted] ยท 405 points ยท Posted at 03:45:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Just_like_my_wife ยท 674 points ยท Posted at 03:57:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wearewizard ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 04:51:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well played.
regalrecaller ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:11:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Heyo
bretzel_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:18:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bravo.
wwahwah ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:55:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once when I was in school I had three weeks to do a powerpoint for a shitty subject. When I was forced up to present, I turned off the projector, googled a powerpoint on the topic, opened the first link and presented that.
Got full marks.
HansCool ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:33:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that's some ferris bueller-level problem solving
moonluck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, modern day remake of Ferris Bueller...
TimeLordOfTheRings ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:29:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
no
BBC5E07752 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HELL no.
Troooop ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:12:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yea... It's 1:11 am and I'm supposed to be working on an essay. I've done 1.5 pages, and supposed to be 5 pages long. We've had this assignment for weeks....
sassychupacabra ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:08:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
2 am here. 800 word essay I don't care about due at 9 am. Powerpoint presentation due at 9:30. Neither done. I'm here instead of in microsoft office.
Blackwind123 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:41:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
DO IT!
sassychupacabra ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:31:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Update: it's done AND I got an hour and a half of sleep. It's cool, guys. I got this.
Troooop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:38:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yea I finished mine! May have been bad... But it is a lower-level class, so I don't mind.
Blackwind123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T BE CONTENT WITH BAD WORK.
Blackwind123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats
tfw13579 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:23:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I have a 10 minute speech due Wednesday morning for my oral comm class that I haven't started. I decided to sleep all day after class instead of do it today. Probably won't do it until Wednesday morning before its due. I haven't even chosen a topic yet.
sam_cr0w ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:46:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Procrastination is a lot like masturbation. It feels good at first, but in the end, you're just fucking yourself.
Wet_Walrus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:13:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you wait til the last minute, it only takes a minute!
MightyFinePine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:41:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I still win on this one. I had all of christmas break to get a project done for history (it was about the calender and it's orgins) and the day the project was due, I walk up to the front of the class, pulled out my phone and read, straight off the internet. Got a solid 9/10 on it and was very satisfied at my laziness
1chadam1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:45:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ignored a stupid 'wellness' paper and literally did the same! I typed it in my ipod whle holding it on my textbook while pretending to listen then emailed it to myself and left class early to print it out.
wickz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:15:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't think I've ever heard anyone say that until now
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I've ever heard "thank god I'm an art major"
Grahand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What did you get for that legal paper?
tubular1450 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaand your grade? Don't leave us hanging!
i_am_suicidal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How big is legal paper compared to A4?
randomsnark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a project that was worth a quarter of my upper division AI course's final grade. Procrastinated it until half an hour after it was due, and then submitted as many of the short-answer questions as I could guess without doing the actual programming. Somehow still got a D.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I procrastinate on my art projects from time to time. I think I'm to the point where I can bullshit my way through any project. I keep getting B's so I must be doing something right.
Th3Marauder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah back in high school I used to do my assignments on the hour long bus trip to school in the morning.
linehan23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes... Once...
Gelliman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a bio class that had the lecture portion 1 hour before the lab portion. I realized I had a presentation to do in the lab that day, as I entered the lecture portion. Took out the laptop and built the powerpoint, while taking notes in the lecture. Presented about 5 minutes after I actually finished the powerpoint and got an A.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jusseh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:36:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paper cutter... Scissors?
whatthepatty ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:22:20 on January 5, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:16:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HOLY FUCKING SHIT BOI...you so luckey
TheeHumanMeat ยท 358 points ยท Posted at 02:30:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've got two semesters of online classes I've not started for about 8 months now and they're due in 13 days. Ya I'll get off reddit now.
PaladinSato ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 02:38:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Master Procrastinator
MeatwadSaint ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:25:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not a master until you do it on the last day
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:41:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Procrastimaster
SaeLow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why do it today, when you can do it tomorrow, when you will be older and wiser.
Sayfog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Professional-crastinator
rekenner ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:29:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
RIP GPA.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:11:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Alright see you in a minute.
gimiltock ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:06:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
keep telling yourself that
OcotilloWells ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:07:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get back to us in 13 days. I know you actually got off reddit and won't see this for 13 days. riiiiight?
junglist918 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:21:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No you won't.
dsiOne ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:24:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit thanks for reminding me I've got some shit due on the 10th.
I hate online classes...
regalrecaller ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:12:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Liar
garbonzo607 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:10:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I still haven't finished middle school at 19 because I kept procrastinating doing my 8th grade work playing games and shit. You may say I have pretty shitty parents, but they're busy and they don't care as much because I'm making tons of money online doing my own thing. They did try to remind me every single day and threaten me with public school every day, but never followed through.
I really am lucky though because I became a video game developer directly do to this, instead of doing school work 90% of which I will never use in life, I learned coding and game design and such so I don't have to work in retail for 10 years of my life.
ironicallysad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Its funny cus he thinks he'll get off Reddit.
Calsmokes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:11:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But there's so much more to read....
Troooop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh lord this is me too. I've got a 7th period dedicated to online classes, but I do NADA in there, except do a two minute glance and take a quiz every once in a while.
JustHeretoStare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've never passed a hybrid course in six years of college. I'm too lazy to log on. I'm taking one now in my final semester. And it's a redundant credit...
mistermez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You just upgraded from Crastinator to Procrastinator.
psycho202 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sure you will ;)
honi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you gonna do it?
SusieString ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are still here right?
scubasue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Real lazy is not as funny as household lazy.
JQbd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pfft, ya right.
sparkle3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:33 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Master's of Procrastination, with a concentration in laziness and tomfoolery.
Heycoolguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No you won't
robnugen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:51 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One week to go! How are they?
TheeHumanMeat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:53 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually still on schedule. I want to thank you a ton on keeping accountable aswell.
robnugen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:52 on December 4, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No worries! I know I need support on long-term projects. Good luck with it!
Indetermination ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds to me like you're not going to finish and will instead fail.
KLEENEXMONSTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you're fucked.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you're not gonna get that done. Might as well start studying for next year.
But you got nothin' on me. I still haven't finished middle school at 19 because I kept procrastinating doing my 8th grade work playing games and shit. You may say I have pretty shitty parents, but they're busy and they don't care as much because I'm making tons of money online doing my own thing. They did try to remind me every single day and threaten me with public school every day, but never followed through.
I really am lucky though because I became a video game developer directly do to this, instead of doing school work 90% of which I will never use in life, I learned coding and game design and such so I don't have to work in retail for 10 years of my life.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:28:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wtf its 230 AM, I have a paper due at 830 tomorrow, I still have 4 pages to write, and yet I'm redditing and playing LoL.
IAmNotAPerson6 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:40:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a year and a half to do a fucking indescribably enormous project. Did it in four hours the night before the due date.
KingOfThe1World ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:40:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not being lazy, that's being amazing.
LAMcNamara ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:01:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Knew someone in High School who tried to do this and ended up with a crap ton of cut out pieces of paper and an empty poster board. He got a 0% on a grade that was at least 10% of our final average.
KingOfThe1World ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:17:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
haha! I was always afraid of getting a bad grade on projects, so I worked super hard on them. When they were due, a lot of the people who pulled it out of nowhere the night before got an A... and I was like wtf.
savageboredom ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:16:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 7th grade we were supposed to complete our science projects over Christmas break. I never even started one, so I made up an experiment and fabricated all of the data the weekend before we went back to class.
A few days later our projects had been graded, and a lot of my friends were lamenting their terrible scores. Expecting the worse, I found my display board amongst the rest. 97%, solid A. I was pleased.
Thefrankman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school we had a science project that had each student create any type of vehicle. The vehicle could only be powered by a small fan which did not have to be attached to the vehicle. The vehicles would be raced and the winner would get an auto A on the project. We had a month. My idea was to take two balloons and tie them together. Took me one full minute to put together and since my "vehicle" was the lightest it was also the fastest. It won and I got an A.
blaketofer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:27:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So like a normal college student?
mollypaget ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:02:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A few days ago I started my homework around 5am when I had to get up at 6:45am and it was due that day.
MuggyFuzzball ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:15:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I, and surely all of Reddit were in school, we did this every day.
tearr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a entire university course that was just a single assignment as the exam. We had the entire semester to do the assignment.
I showed up in one and a half class. Then did the entire assignment in 72 hours with 1.5 hours sleep, divided into three half hour power naps. I was sure I was gonna fail. I got a C (above average), not the best grade I've gotten, but the one I'm most proud of.
savageboredom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of an econ class I took my first semester of college. It met 3 times a week, for 12 weeks. Judging by the scribbles in my notebook, I had attended that class 8 times. Didn't turn in any of the work and missed the mid-term. Literally my only credit in the class was the final. Passed with a C. God bless grading on a curve.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's me everyday.
Here are my blocks -
1- Math
2-Comp Networking
3-Engineering and Design
4-English / History
Math is packed, so I have no time to do homework there. I do my math homework on the 20 minute ride to school. There is no networking homework, so no worries about that. I do my Engineering homework in 2nd block during Networking. Then during Engineering and my lunch break, I do my ELA / History homework in the library (during lunch) or during class.
As for projects, they require me to work at home, and I start my homework at 12 so every time we have a project due I get little to no sleep. I actually do about 50% of my project at home the night before and finish the rest during easy blocks or during lunch. Right now I have to read 120 more pages before 4th block tomorrow and I'm debating wether I could manage to do 50/50 at home then at school. But like you, I always wait until the night before to do a 2-month project.
I've been doing this for a very long time and it works out great. I get to relax all day at home, but the trade-off is that I'm always stressed and in a hurry at school. So far I've never turned in an assignment late.
savageboredom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remember once in high school I actually did an assignment early and thought, "Wow, this is so relaxing not having to worry about rushing at the last minute!" You would think I would have learned from that lesson and continued that trend going forward. Nope.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's every assignment for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't this everyone?
Treypyro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think we would be good friends. I usually did my homework that was due that day when I walked into the class it was due in. This worked fantastically for classes that graded at the end of the class. But I never bothered to change my system for classes that graded at the beginning of class. I still got nearly straight A's in school, only 2 B's and 1 C for semester grades in high school.
ThickDiggerNick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a group project with like 6 other people, we had to diagram microbial life or some shit, well 2 months go by, I did 0 work, they all tried their hearts out it was glorious, we go to turn it in, teacher died of a heart attack the day before and the project was scrubbed.
Imagine if I did all that work? fuck that would be depressing as shit.
milkradio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once started a research paper three days after it was due. Still got a decent grade though.
huckingfipster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a concert review due two days ago for a music class. I'll probably type it up today and send it in. My professor likes me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
heh, in high school in aus basically all of our university entrance score is based off of our final year of highschool, i was pretty buddy-buddy with our graphics teacher so he let me basically push off my 3 major grading assignments for as long as i wanted. ended up doing all three in the last week of school, slept probably 3-4 hours a night for that week i think.
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Procastinating is different to lazy.
Lazy is "Had three weeks to do simple project, copied my friend's"
Googolplex147 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Overachiever... Had a presentation for a final. Made it in the 15 min while others were presenting theirs. Got an A-
shano1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that just how you're supposed to do every high school homework assignment?
fml_twice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once had half a semester to do a simple project, never even started it. Failed the class and had to makd it up in 8 classes that were 3 hours long. The teacher pretty much did my project for me.
smellinawin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a physics lab class where i had all 4 months to do 3 lab reports and that was the whole class- I didn't start working on my reports until 2 days before the end of the semester.
sqinny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In junior year of highschool, our school did a big deal research paper as a whole prepare for college thing. As a result, it was worth like 25 percent of our grade. We worked ob it for almost 3 months, going to the library twice a week as part of the class, with times we were supposed to have different sections completed. So at 4pm the day before it was due, I got home and started my research. At 6:30AM, 15 sources and 9 pages later, I submitted it to the website and started getting ready for school. I got an A- , and it is quite possibly my proudest moment.
savageboredom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think I worked on a paper before the day it was due exactly twice. Today I attended my last class to graduate. Worked out okay for me, but I still kind of wish I had learned a proper work ethic at some point.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Due two weeks from now?
Do two weeks from now!
sons_of_mothers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had two months to do a project in an 8th grade history class win which you used every letter of the alphabet to some history term. I procrastinated until the very end and never did it. The day it was due I was talking to my brother right before we left the house to go to school. He's 3 years older and had the same teacher. He doesn't normally do his work, but I said "man I have that alphabet project due today and I didn't due it. Oh well." He rushed down to his room and from under the dirty-ass depths from his bed he pulled out the alphabet project from when he did it. I made a new cover page with my name on it instead and got a 97%. That's when I knew I had a true brother.
Love you Patrick.
Ray-Bob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had decided my senior year of high school that I was just NOT going to do a research paper. We had 4 months to work on it and about 2 months in someone told me that you had to do one to one to graduate. It was due on a Wednesday and we didn't have class Thursday or Friday. I called myself in sick that Wednesday. Still didn't start it until Sunday in church. (Insert lazy college senior) Rough draft, final draft
P.S. I'm in bed, on mobile, didn't want to get my computer to find the meme, it's less than arms reach away
Chainsaw_Cock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You know what they say, if you wait until the last minute, the whole thing only takes a minute.
panderpskis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Or just not do it and wait for easy extra credit opportunities.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone has done this so it becomes average and not lazy, lazy would be doing it when you have to hand it in or something idk penis yolo
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did that once, got a 19 out of 20, it was a group project, I did it on my own, the only reason I didn't get a 20 is because I was also supposed to be graded on how I interacted with the group, there was no group.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've had the whole semester to do this paper analyzing the economical conjuncture of Brazil in the past 10 years. It's due Friday. The only thing I have is the cover page.
LordBling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You just described my college senior year.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is basically every project for me... computer programmer here
chuckychub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, at least it was simple.
demostravius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend and I had a joint presentation (at Uni). We did it while everyone else was giving their presentations.
Still got a 2:1 (only higher grade is a 1st)
D0ntl3tth3boyzin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a whole semester and I did this...
Quajek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Overacheiver.
MisterxRager ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do this all the time but I somehow always get good grades on them
Trollaxinumad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Child's play
mildlyAttractiveGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:11 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've had literally eight months to finish my previous semester of classes (which I missed due to an extended hospital stay). I didn't start any of the work until last Tuesday. My deadline is next Thursday.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did my science project on the bus to my 1st period science class. I also used to do my homework during lunch the period before it was due.
I wrote a 12 page short story the day before it was due, finished it during lunch the period before it was due, and still got 5 points added because it was the best the teacher had read in a long time.
My procrastination needs to stop... tomorrow.
Circlejerk_Level_900 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, I do this all the time.
electric_dolphin ยท 125 points ยท Posted at 07:15:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I currently have to poop. Have had to poop for about 2 hours. Not worth getting up. It's now me vs. my ass.
JeremyR22 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:43:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
rofosho ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:21:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a health major, I recommend don't do that. It can really mess you up.
Not pooping really fucks up people.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:52:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:23 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck no. It's just the best way to end up being constipated.
giantstonegoat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Careful. If you wait too long you shit uncontrollably when you stand up. It'll be hilarious but you'll also have to deal with a shit covered room.
methshin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:29 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pooping now. Ass always wins
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:36 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
electric_dolphin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:06:52 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
It's been 3 months since my comment, so yes I have pooped a few times.
ttggl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:48 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a shitty situation
Potato_Mangler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:28 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The struggle
LaserBeamHorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:21 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It will go away. You can postpone it for days if you really want to.
[deleted] ยท 2141 points ยท Posted at 02:50:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 424 points ยท Posted at 04:07:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do something with her you want to do, frolic through a meadow or chop down trees or whatever.
[deleted] ยท 1067 points ยท Posted at 04:49:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Invite her over to stare at the wall.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:53:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
OceanRacoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:39 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a program I'm going to like
marteney1 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:02:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Better yet, invite her over to get the remote off the coffee table for you so she can sit on the couch 2 feet away and watch Netflix with you. Knock out 2 birds with one stone
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, at least he won't be watching on his phone anymore.
Kiassen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:58:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Invite her over to watch movies in her pajamas! You don't even have to get dressed. Just order pizza.
StarwalkerTrix ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:56:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Man I'm DTS
640x480 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:56:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Wow. This is a really good wall."
Mazuna ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:51:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paint it first, triple the excitement.
RiZe_of_Gingers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:22:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sex her
There_can_only_be_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I mean fuck it, at this point what does he have to lose?
StephenBuckley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If she does this and asks for more, put a ring on it.
hayz00s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why the hell was this so fucking funny?
glass_cage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously though, I want someone to do just this with.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, looks like I have my evening booked for tonight.
Tyler11223344 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:01 on December 20, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I'm totally gonna do this when I ask another girl out.
If.
If I ask a girl out.
YaDamnSkippy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:45:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
adding "chop down trees" to my list of creative date ideas
catdolphincat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:51:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a lumberjack and that's OK?
irrational_abbztract ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:45:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah dude. Fuck her. Isn't that what you're saying, /u/seller_of_worlds?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:20 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I suppose there could be an euphemism in there somewhere.
JedLeland ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And if she decides you're not butch with your high heels, suspenders, and bra, then she wasn't the one anyway.
bnorvell11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Chopping down trees would be WAY too much effort.
wesrawr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:35:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Wanna go chop down a tree with me friday at 6?"
"Okay! Do you have an axe?"
"God damn it"
efhs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If i ever find a girl who would enjoy a day of chopping down trees i will be the happiest guy in the world.
A_Nagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Those are some interesting hobbies.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
chop down trees
Reminded me of Step Brothers: I CAME TO GIVE YOU MY SEED!
DogFacedKillah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The dudes too lazy to plan a date, I doubt chopping down trees is on his hobby list.
Batatata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
in a world with no bots
accidentallywut ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:12:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
getting wasted at a dive bar counts too, right?
bunnyhouseinyoursoul ยท 2529 points ยท Posted at 04:01:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like depression, dude. Get help. You skip that date, you're going to feel worse.
HamletTheHamster ยท 1647 points ยท Posted at 05:42:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too true. Depression makes you want to skip things you know you will enjoy and you know you'll feel worse for skipping. But depression doesn't care and neither do you.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 810 points ยท Posted at 06:34:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I'm depressed.
[deleted] ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 07:16:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck me too
Bree-Rad ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 07:34:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit. :(
SageOfSkyrim ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:13:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's okay, we're all too lazy to give a fuck.
sylviad ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 09:41:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Depression isn't lazy, it's being transfixed and paralyzed simultaneously by the futility of existence and wonder of being alive. It's not that we don't know, it's that it's just... too much.
scotchy91 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:54:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nail. On. Head.
Bree-Rad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
More shit :(
LiquidSilver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Completely agreed.
admiral_snugglebutt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Also, I'm pretty sure that the wonder of being alive is one of the biggest things keeping me here.
admiral_snugglebutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did you come up with that?
Hyperbole and a Half had a very good comic on depression.
sylviad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:08 on December 5, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did. That Hyperbole and a Half was fantastic, thank you!
SmugMacGyver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:16:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sick but true.
randomperson1a ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:30:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've had a severe just lack of motivation these past few years of university and gone from 90s in high school to just barely passing courses, wonder if it's depression or just laziness, I can't be depressed tho, I don't skip things that I know will make me happy.
ChuckS117 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:33:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm exactly like this :/
connmancamoruso ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:45:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I should think on this.
InZomnia365 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I skip it sometimes. The times I dont, I still want to, even though Im having fun doing whatever it is Im doing. Maybe just a tiny small droplet of depression from dropping out of college twice and lying to my parents about it, I suppose.
ohmygod_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get it checked out anyway. I failed out after scraping by for three years. I am on meds [not that you need meds] now 4 years later and it kills me thinking I let myself suffer for so long.
Fratcketeering ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:23:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, join the club. Or don't, who cares.
ExOAte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to type lol. But it takes too much to do so.
alystair ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:36:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it's possible to be depressed and not even know it.
thepresidentsturtle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:10:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just learned that I might actually have depression. I thought you also needed to be sad to have it. Guess not.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:30:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure I'm depressed as well. But according to webmd I have cancer.
regalrecaller ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:10:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Most people that are, don't know it.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:56:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry bro, literally everyone on reddit is depressed with ADHD.
latishwah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:43 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why else would I keep coming back to reddit?
crow_man ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:29:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Depression sounds like too much work.
Blargosaur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:37:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Depression isn't work. It keeps you from working.
gardnersalad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This made me laugh out loud, does that mean I can't be depressed?
Methaxetamine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:00:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You may also have ADHD, like me. Where things are not exciting ever.
Bystronicman08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have ADHD too but i wouldn't say things aren't ever exciting for me. Sometimes they are and then again, sometimes they aren't. For me, it's more to do with the utter lack of ability to pay attention and absorb new information.
I_AM_POOPING_NOW_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of us are, friend.
Redrakerbz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:08:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of poop was it that time?
Ninja Edit: Completely forgot the context of OP... I have had dysthymia for over 50% of my life. You all have my empathy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, apparenly so am I.
Side note: why does reddit tell me your comment is 3 hours old and the top voted comment after your's is 4 hours old?
devilwu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:30:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too lazy to figure it out
akillerfrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I've been depressed for three years.
Clever_User_Name_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cure for that is Alcohol!
HypnotikK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Someone on the internet commented and said I'm depressed! I will now tell all my friends I am a diagnosed depressed individual! Man being depressed sucks so much :3
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not running and yelling it through the streets. I've been wondering why I've been feeling the way OP described for quite some time and it's pretty debilitating. Just sparked the fact that maybe I should look into it more.
Kryt0s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I guess I am too -.-
shane727 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The scary thing is you don't know you are till you look at it from that perspective.
wannagooutside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:27 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, but I think it's mostly because I just don't get those opportunities.
I_fking_agree ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No you're a lazy ass don't hide behind depression
leadfoot323 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 06:49:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Shit. Just realized I need help. Any suggestions?
EDIT: Thanks everyone for your help.
yaztheblack ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 07:34:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A few simple-ish things that have helped when I've not been too bleh to try them:
Eat plenty fruit and veg / drink lots of water.
Exercise.
Get a consistent, decent amount of sleep.
A lot of this shit is chemistry and that should help at least a little. Now to drag my ass out of bed and go to work =x
TheodoreRoethke ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:48:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I eat really healthy, tons of fruits and veggies, meat, basically no processed food whatsoever, I drink a ton of water.
I go to the gym every other day and ride my bike all the time.
I sleep 6-8 hours of quality sleep every night.
I still feel groggy, foggy, irritable, have basically no motivation to do anything or better myself other than the shit I'm already invested in, and the things I do, I'm not that interested in and take for granted, this is every single day. Despite my diet, exercise and sleep, I still feel just the same as I did before I got into these healthy habits. I've always felt this way. Sometimes that stuff doesn't really do much for people with depression and I hate that people are force fed this stuff, it doesn't work for everyone.
concussedYmir ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:16:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/depression
Apparently /r/depressiongw is a thing too, but I don't know about that. There's like one post there.
dogateit ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:26:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Subreddit of the week
admiral_snugglebutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/depression sounds like it would be depressing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You need to force yourself to go out and do something enjoying, even if at the moment it seems like a pain in the ass. First thing you always gotta do is break your current do-nothing habit. Find something mentally stimulating besides games. Build something, draw something, paint something, write something, go out and visit a friend.
If this has been a recurring or building theme in your life you would probably do a lot of help seeing a shrink, there could be underlying problems you are not aware of. Sometimes you just need an impartial view of your life.
shmolives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What yastheblack said, plus I find that planning things to look forward to that are like 6 months away or more helpful. Just having something positive on my horizon makes it easier for me to be social and being social helps me put on my fake happy face... which in turn tricks my mind into thinking I'm happy. Good luck!
FlyingSagittarius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In addition to yaztheblack's advice, I'd suggest meditation and journaling. That's one of the things that helped me fix my depression. Just sit down for 15-20 minutes each day, and think about stuff. Anything, really. Whether it's something you're worried about, or something you're happy about, mull it over in your mind a bit. If it's really important, write it down. If you don't have anything to think about, go for a walk and just take in the scenery.
The goal here is to get used to feeling things and noticing things, which makes you feel happy and relaxed. I can explain in more detail as well, if it helps. (I fixed my depression with some science and analysis, so I know a bit about how this works. It's the only way I could think of, but it worked.)
PagingDoctorLove ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:22:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That was the best synopsis of depression that I've ever read.
BweowPfft ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:54:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is spot on. Make plans, cancel at last minute.
Stay in bed 24/7, barely shower and pretty much live in pyjamas.
Triviuhh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:09:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Man, this is how I feel right now, I wonder what's gonna happen when my mother passes from cancer in a few days.
gvtgscsrclaj ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:26:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get help. Seriously.
When my dad died it took me over a year to be somewhat normal again. I figured I could tough it out on my own. I couldn't. At least not at all well.
Triviuhh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:13:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What do you suggest?
gvtgscsrclaj ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:30:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Speak to a therapist. Just book an appointment to talk because you're going through a lot in your life. And if you don't like that particular therapist after a meeting or two, find another. It's important to find one that you click with.
And remember, this is a perfectly normal thing to do. Speaking to a therapist is something that a large portion of the population does, and is not in any way a negative thing. When you call them up, just say it's your first time, and ask them how to go about it.
The hardest part is picking up the phone, honestly.
Triviuhh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:32:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for looking out for my wellbeing Internet stranger. Once my mother passes I'll talk to my dad about getting a therapist (I'm 17).
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:44:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You can always start now, if there's a friend who you trust and can just talk to, do it. Simply talking about what I went through helped me loads, and makes you reflect on your thoughts. Stay strong, it's worth it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:31:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is this true? I skip things I'd probably enjoy all the time because I consider it too much effort or I'd rather watch Netflix...
meltphace26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nah. You are just lazy (like me). I rather stay home and watch shit or study or stay home with gf than take the bus all the way to the city to have a drink or party or anything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wont study, even though I should work on my MCSE or CNAA or something and often times I wont even do what I originally intended. I will end up going the absolute minimum to be engaged. Like I'll plan to play an Xbox game I've been meaning to get to, but end up just watching Netflix...
meltphace26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:24:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
unsubscribe from Netflix. problem solved.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ha!
cr1t1cal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think we're just lazy. Usually, I'm dreading the effort, but do it anyway and enjoy it every time. This happens the most for me when I have to travel for my plans. I'd rather sit at home and code/game...
DemiousRising ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:23:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That hit too close to home.
Rangi42 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:07:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And then you convince yourself that you wouldn't have enjoyed those things anyway.
vballdude94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:36:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Honey badger doesn't care. Honey badger is depressed :(
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:00:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone on reddit is depressed but still pulls straight A's....weird
Braintree0173 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Straight As are easy in high school. It's once you get into anything beyond HS that school begins to require effort. I went from 80s-90s in HS to failing classes my first semester of college (not university), and now I'm recently unemployed because of attendance issues. Taking responsibility for yourself is hard, my parents would've kicked my ass if I'd screwed anything up in high school.
mikefromcanmore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:39:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was it /u/wil that said depression lies, never trust it.
Got_Engineers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can you have depression when you feel like you are not depressed? Or don't notice it?
Draghin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:24:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would like an answer to this.
TheodoreRoethke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:50:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of depressed people never really know. They just live that way and adapt to it. I think it's better than knowing and not being able to do anything about it, you feel pretty trapped.
GnozL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yes
GnozL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yes
jackiekeracky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:02:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
depression isn't necessarily "I'm sad"
and you certainly not need to be sad about "something"
doodlebug001 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Depression is like a very smart parasite that tricks the host into feeding it more, thus making its ability to do just that even stronger.
IdGoGay4NPH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know this all too well :(
faceoftheinternet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Thanks man.
TheCommies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a source to this? Ever since I was forcibly moved I've been feeling that way... I think I am depressed.
Luchtkasteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is a very accurat discription.
meltphace26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It could be just laziness you know. I skip events cause I'm lazy to go to the place. And I'm 100% not depressed.
Miss_nuts_a_bit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I often have these weeks where I don't want to do anything, even things I normally like. I'm not sure if it's depression or social anxiety in my case though.
GRANDMA_FISTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
1000s of redditors just realised they might be depressed.
Simplesmiles92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuuuuck I think I'm depressed
mutatedllama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's important to note that exhibiting these symptoms doesn't necessarily mean you are depressed, though. I feel this way a lot and I'm pretty sure I'm not depressed.
TheAbactor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I'm probably depressed.
thusspakezara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So fucking true... My life for 5 years... Seriously
beforethewind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I decided against taking myself to the Hungry Games today, probably for that reason.
asianfatboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I... skip a lot of hanging out with friends...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Like going to therapy. The few times in my life when I really, really needed to get therapy I was too cripplingly depressed to make an appointment.
ny_rangers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Am... am I depressed then?
ghuldorgrey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, so true. Im skipping right now on my birthday and hope i'll make it Home without the school calling.
bebeMorto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wow, fuck.
maybe this shit is hapenning to me, i only bother with the first date, and after that, i dont give a fuck. like, i dont feel the energy to do what other normal people would never turn down.
"come to my house and lets fuck" and im, "naaah"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, it sounds like burnout. I went through a period of that and it sucked balls
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Story of my life right now.
MikelWillScore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this was just being lazy
CallMeLarry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. Balls.
Hollowsong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I'm depressed.
ceecep21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL im depressed... :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Its mind numbing apathy all day everyday.
NateTheGreat68 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is a very accurate description of how I felt for most of the last couple of years. I feel like finally snapped out of it earlier this month. I did it by forcing myself to go out, meet new people, and hang out with them.
DandVLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I've got a serious case of depression
ginger-snaps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is a super accurate explanation.
lacheur42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I skipped an invitation to a steak dinner with this hot funny cool girl last night because I was worried she'd want to come back to my place, and I have empty bags of chips, empty liquor bottles and unwashed dishes on my bed/table/counter/sink.
thecatgoesmoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's like the honey badger of mental illness.
TheClassyRifleman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:54 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Been there, done that...or rather, haven't done that...any of it.
gorgonizedbyurTITS ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn dude chill out, the guy is simply saying he's too lazy to put the effort in going out with a girl, sometimes you just don't feel like making plans whether it's with a girl or a friend, that doesn't mean he's depressed
Bangersss ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:30:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was just lazy.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 08:06:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pinkfloyd873 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:27:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, it's different from that. Working out every day to the point where your body looks like Will Smith's is a serious time and effort investment; like, a lot of work. Depression makes you avoid things that really aren't much or any work at all, like making plans to hang out with your friends or asking a girl out or anything you know you are capable of and will enjoy, but simply don't follow through on because you're too tired, or afraid of rejection, or some other completely irrational reason that only makes sense to you because of a severe chemical imbalance in your brain.
Nine_Cats ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:47:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have this problem but force myself to try and plan something for every other weekend. Usually goes fine but then last weekend 5/6 people didn't return my messages that I'd sent around Monday and the one who did was just saying they were busy.
That made me feel way worse than the weekends I don't do anything...
faceoftheinternet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:57:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You don't call that early. Hit people up thurs or friday with something that sounds overwhelmingly cool.
Mycatzdead ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:12:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, I'm kinda like that but I'm definitely not depressed
derefr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:59:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe ADD. In the way that depression is having no capacity to expect happiness, ADD is having no capacity to motivate yourself.
With ADD, you feel perfectly content to set no goals whatsoever, because you know that if you did, you'd just give up on those anyway--and so why bother?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:12:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
derefr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, all ADD is, is "fucking lazy to an extent that impairs your ability to function in society." And you can treat yourself for that, if you like, at which point you will stop being fucking lazy.
What you cannot do, I stress, is "use willpower" to make yourself less fucking lazy. Willpower is a made-up nonsense concept, used to malign people with physiological problems as if it was some sort of character flaw. People don't have "willpower"; they have a reserve of dopamine, and an executive agency which runs on it. ADD is when you have a chronically-low supply of dopamine. Like a car with a chronically-low supply of gas.
Chawklate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like me. Also, I got a moderately positive score on an online ADD test. I've heard ADD affects grades, but I'm doing mostly above average in school. Should I get checked?
DreadNephromancer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:47:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How far in school are you? In my case, shit didn't hit the fan until college.
Chawklate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have one more year until I finish Highschool.
Area_724 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking as someone who's a sophomore in college dealing with shit that I should have handled before I left high school, if you feel that you need to sort out issues, I would definitely suggest you do it before you start college.
rooshbaboosh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:06:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the same as graivt. I'm not down though, just sort of....indifferent. I mean yeah I'm sure a relationship with a girl would be nice but most of the time I feel like I'd just rather lie here and watch Netflix as it's far less effort.
daniswhopper ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:13:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
haha the entire thread full of the laziest shit imaginable and i scroll down to this guy who is too lazy to go on a second date, which is more work then most of the shit here and the consensus is that he must be depressed. Reddit users are so desperate for a date they cant imagine a world where a healthy person passes one up.
bluetick_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If its such a production to date a certain girl, you should probably reevaluate if she's right for you. That usually isn't sustainable.
poo-poo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some of those other lazys could certainly be depression as well.
Not wanting to get up and turn the light off doesn't really seem like depression.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the same boat as graivt a couple weeks ago. I got a message from a pretty girl on eharmony, which I seldom go on because it is too much work. I just thought it would be too much effort, but she persisted. Over a couple days she even got me excited about meeting up. She says she's down to do anything, so the next day I ask her if she's free to go out the next day, she never responded and blocked me on eHarmony.
I wish I would have ignored her message in the first place haha.
chuckymartinez58 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:12:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a bitch move, I'm sorry to hear that man.
faceoftheinternet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:58:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She just got back together with her ex. Dont trip.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
First thing that came to mind!
jstinch44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait what? I have had this thought a lot for a bunch of girls. None of them work out because I don't want to put effort into a relationship and end up not talking to them ever again.
waltonics ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:59:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He's probably just nervous and making up excuses more likely.
NOTHESPIKEYAVENGER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:21:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Depression=unmotivated.
Unmotivated is not the same thing as lazy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:52:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lol seriously not everything is a medical disorder. i don't date because i'm lazy too. it's not depression.
accidentallywut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
really? that's your conclusion? i've skipped getting laid a number of times because i just wanted to be home alone eating a nice meal i spent some time cooking alone. does that make me depressed and hate sex or some shit? different people like different things man.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:17:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's not just "getting laid". If your only reason for not hanging out with people that you like because it seems like too much work, that's unhealthy.
lIllIllIes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Said the extrovert.
LiveFree_Or_FapHard ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:30:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The difference is he's not just skipping getting laid... He's not even trying to talk to this girl that it seems he likes, let alone plan another date. It seems more like accepting failure before anything even happens. All for no reason other than it seems like it takes too much work.
jbeezo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:53:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I say that to my friends they think I am gay. Because you know, it obviously means I like dick....
DynamicStatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is that depression? I think I might have a serious case of it in that case. :p
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bluetick_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:49:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey guy, if she is looking for the perfect everything in one night, she is probably too high maintenance for you anyway.
You could also be wildly over thinking it... Not every girl needs a white table cloth and candle lit dinner. I'm actually going on a first date (I guess its a date) with a nice girl tonight. I suggested trivia at a dive bar and she's totally game. If she wasn't cool with that, then we just simply aren't compatible.
TL;DR Not every girl wants to be wined and dined, some of them actually prefer not to be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is a sign of depression? I know I'm depressed, but I thought that part was just me being lazy
tarnkek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm: I've skipped over a month of university because moving just doesn't seem worth it
good_cunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It could be, but I wouldn't advise labeling a person with depression due to one aspect of their personality. It's not a light term you can just throw around like this, depression is a serious issue.
shitakefunshrooms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
never skip gym days. i mean dates
Mrdooperbop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So if I'm lazy I'm also depressed.
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Those few little words have gotten me to so many unique and educational experiences in my life time. "You'll feel worse if you don't do it." or "Thinking about it this long you're going to convince yourself to fail, because you're used to it you little bitch. Who gives up first?" Yes, those are things I would say to myself, verbatim. The last one (Who gives up first?) I got from Mike Tyson's training regiment.
NaturesWanderer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, not depression. I do the same thing. Get girls numbers at bars, text em for a while, decide it's too much work to set up a date, etc, etc. Call my FWB, have her come over, we sex, I smoke some bud, then pass out.
....mission accomplished.
Pixelated_Fudge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:39 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
No. My butts sore.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:03:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is not depression, thats just being really lazy and girls not meaning that much to you.
I have skipped multiple dates because dragging my ass out through the door was too much work.
Pixelated_Fudge ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 07:03:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why does reddit feel to tell everyone what they should do and what's wrong with them? You guys don't even know if he is a boy or girl.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 06:37:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Go on that date, for me. :(
zerostyle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:04:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this all the time. Dating is just a lot of effort without a lot of satisfaction for me.
poochz0rz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:37:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm in a very similar situation. There's a really cute girl in one of my classes, that I'd really like to ask out before the semester's over in like two weeks. If she says yes, I feel like I'll have no idea what to do. She says yes, then all of a sudden I'm all anxious again about what to do rather than will she say yes or no.
MotionPropulsion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:17:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not laziness, that's just you making excuses and not having the balls to ask. Actual laziness would losing interest in her because you can't be bothered making plans.
philclarke0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know how you feel, as somebody who has been there here is my two cents. Ask her out. Just do it. It takes one minute of total courage. My girlfirend has now been with me nearly two years and I am happy as can be. But it all started with a minute. Just ask her out.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:11:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know this feeling, it sucks. My gf who was by FAR the hottest and smartest person I've ever dated dumped me over the weekend, and honesty I feel relieved. No more cleaning my apartment, no more getting haircuts on time, no more trying to dress presentably, no more working out. All I have to do is make it through one more day, and repeat.
OceanRacoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:18 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, that is so lazy and hilarious. You're probably going to a fat hairy fuck in a years time
accidentallywut ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:10:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
it usually is. spending all that money really gets me too. it all feels like a job interview i have to plan out and then pay for.
NotTacoBell ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:43:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit: Where everyone is a doctor.
pseudoart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. He's just not that into her, obviously.
ArtemisEntreri3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:47:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
PICNIC, picnics are always good
Conquerz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:43:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I feel you. I regularly talk to chicks until they accept a date, even a "get sweaty in a hotel room" kind of date.
And then I just go like "meh...such a hassle" and just go to the gym and workout.
pedrao157 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit you are me
TheCrazyChicken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude! That's awesome! I thought I was the only one who did this!
armored-dinnerjacket ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hear you bro. talking to people is such an effort sometimes.
I mean you have to actively listen to what they're saying then think up a creative response and then keep the conversation going and then keep listening. jesus...its such a vicious circle of talking and listening. farrrrrr too much work when I can stay at home and kill people on the internet all day without talking quite happily.
Oryinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My life.
Divune ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this a lot as well :( really a sign of depression ? Don't like that
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the same - I don't count this as depression. It's laziness / cowardice (I don't mean this in a bad way). If I'm scared things might be awkward, I don't do them. You could overcome it by convincing yourself it won't be that bad. But some dates will be. So is it worth it?
We've just got a well-developed flight response. High-five!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just give her the Peter Gibbons treatment.
"I wanna take you back to my place and watch Kung Fu."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is that from True Romance? I forget.
gotacastleinbrooklyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Office Space, but True Romance is the shit.
nightwing2024 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can I date her instead?
Appetite4destruction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't skip it, man! Muster every last remaining ounce of give-a-fuck and plan something! Do it! You will be glad you did.
nazijew666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel ya. too much stress. and worrying about shit. I feel like the responsibility on planning should be on her too. FUCVK! I" get dressed and meet you there. That's enough. I"ll get hard and you do the rest
a1c_djdiddles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think planning dates are so much fun..seriously dude, it'll help.
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Never say no to an opportunity. Never. Don't do it.
LanAkou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tell you what buddy, I'm willing to take the hit for you. I'll go on your second date and maintain the relationship for you, like a stunt double.
iamnotasofa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:42:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is not laziness ? Really ? This has happened to me multiple times . I thought this was textbook laziness. :|
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Conversation is a chore to me. I hate having to come up with things to talk about.
DZCreeper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do it, also stop fapping. You will be a fidgety little fucker by Friday but any and all future dates will become a higher priority.
jackperk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
go on that date, man. it will be worth it.
Harb1ng3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be a bitch, go on that date motherfucker, don't take for granted the good shit in life.
philosarapter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just think of this way, if you win her over and make her your girlfriend you can have her do stuff for you, furthering the lifestyle of your future lazy self.
lekkerlekker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know people have already said it, but that really does sound like depression, and if it is, I've been in pretty much the exact same situation. My only words of advice would be that if you really like this girl, do your best to talk yourself into seeing her again, and if a proper relationship blossoms from seeing her then it will likely get a lot easier. I struggled with talking to/making plans with my current SO for the first couple months of our relationship, but I forced myself to stick with him because I loved him. Fast forward a year and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
blacklab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Talking to people is exhausting.
hogger85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Evreyone is saying go on the date, but I have the other perspective. Dont. if you are truely HAPPY in your own company, dont feel you have to date. I felt compelled by society to date and am now in a long term relationship it is a lot more work and I do have less freedoms. I think on the balence of things I would probably be better single, but don't want to break up or hurt her, things are not bad I still have a great time and she is the best other person I could possibly think of, but maybe if i was starting over and there wasn't this societal pressure. I am an introvert and would be quite happy on my own.
GodofFunness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing says stay with me for ever like a Netflix date! Its also a great way to find shared interests!
comineeyeaha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did that once in high school. We went to a movie, then she told me that I needed to plan the next date. Instead, I stayed home and played Tomb Raider all weekend. She seemed out of my league, so I got nervous. Years later, she told me how dumb that was.
Tomb Raider was a pretty cool game, though.
forbucci ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"you want to come over to my place, eat cereal and watch cartoons?"
thank me later
RiffTannen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh fuck, this is exactly how I feel too. I feel better for knowing someone else also feels this way, but also worse knowing what the underlying cause is. Maybe I should have spent my lunch hour looking up therapists.
rioba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like an excuse bro.
cryptobomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Go on that fucking date or the internet will beat your ass up.
th3shameless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
it doesn't need to be anything extravagent. see a movie, see a movie at home, see a movie at a drive-in. you get the point. it doesn't really matter what you two do as long as you're spending time with each other
Quajek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is not laziness. This is depression / social anxiety.
FuckYourStupidCats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you know what man a lot of people on Reddit are quick to diagnose depression. I get it it happens a lot on here, and I'm sorry for you guys that are really depressed. But you're probably fine and just not that into her. I've been in a number of short-lived relationships where I can't see anything wrong with someone, but don't really find them attractive. Since I can't see an obvious flaw I'll keep seeing them for a while even though I instinctively find it a chore. Relax, you're just not attracted to them.
(but if you think you are really depressed please see a doctor ;-))
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:44 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So many miss date for me to! Always a great guy, but I'm just so lazy to put pants on and leave my room just to drive across post to meet him somewhere..
yeliab1230 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:28 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like something I would do, you sure you're not my long lost brother/sister??
benjikenji2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:42 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a similar situation, now I kick myself. Go on that date. Also, maybe talk to someone about depression.
chris69824 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:09 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't man, go on that date, and fucking enjoy that date. You're going to regret that, and feel worse later.
jp426_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:57 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just invite her over and do whatever. No planning involved. Simple.
stabstabstabstab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:14 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude just buy a handle, invite her over, do shots and slap each other.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:42 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:39 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CynicalTree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:50 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you think she's worth time. Just do it.
asleeplessmalice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mother fucker, you plan the date, you make that shit amazing. You have a sordid love affair with this beautiful girl that sours because you don't feel like putting in the effort when you two start to grow apart. You move into a shitty studio apartment and grow a depression beard and eat salad bowls full of your favorite cereal's off-brand version for every meal. You come to your goddamn senses and call her and beg for one more chance. You convince her, you shave, you take her on another fucking amazingly planned out date and you tell her you love her and you never want to love anyone else.
Goddamn motherfucker, what happened to you? You used to be so beautiful!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:38:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I just got out of a 1y 6m relationship and all I want is to meet new women! Don't skip your chance man! You WILL regret it! Don't do this to yourself!
jun2san ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:21:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then you don't deserve her.
TightAssHole234 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:18:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
either that, or perhaps you are secretly a closeted gay homosexual, silly sir.
bunnyhamster ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 07:15:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
spilled water, fuck it, it'll evaporate
back2bklyn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:11:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
all the time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is me...every.day
debherter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I drop an ice-cube. Nyah, it'll melt and the cat'll take care of it. Worse? Same if I lose control of a scoop full of ice cream.
nesi13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:56 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every time!
UnderCoverPlayer ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 07:16:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on my bed and i had to search something in google on my web browser. Unfortunately I had a wireless mouse, my keyboard was across the room and i had no will to get up.
I literally scrolled around the web page i was on at the moment to find and copy each letter of what i needed to search with my mouse and paste it in the web address bar.
I will never forget. It took a good few minutes to do my search. I was ashamed of myself that night.
lolhoved ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 11:14:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
start-all programs-accessories-ease of access-On-screen keyboard. "applause sign flashing"
UnderCoverPlayer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:27:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mind has been blown. I wish I would've remembered this 4 years ago.
Then again, I would've probably been too lazy to find the on screen keyboard.
lolhoved ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:36:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to be lazy so you do something unlazy to be more lazy. You win this thread.
UnderCoverPlayer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:28:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know. I'm ashamed.
But thank you for the kind words, stranger.
nordpol ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:56:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
windows has a on screen keyboard...
irbChad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:20:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Been there multiple times. And all I had to do was just sit up to use the keyboard. It wasn't even across the room like you.
CarlaWasThePromQueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Done it. Damn reclining office chairs!!
notwastingtime42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this. Except the keyboard was right in front of me. Too lazy to take my hand off the mouse and reach forward to type.
I'm a bit ashamed of that one...
HalifaxSexKnight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. Character map.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well you could've used the on-screen-keyboard
Gyrardos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You know there's a keyboard "program" right? It's like a little keyboard on your screen that you can click made for people exactly like you.
CeeDiddy82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I attach my laptop to my TV with an HDMI cord to watch Netflix/HBO GO/Hulu/etc after my Xbox 360 died... I downloaded an app for wireless keyboard/mouse on my phone instead of walking 4 feet to the entertainment stand where the real wireless mouse and keyboard are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A wireless mouse works on thigh skin.
Source: experience
blk_thomas ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 07:08:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For about 6 years of my youth I used to pretend to be asleep so people had to carry me everywhere instead of me walking. I became a pro at this....
I've also done this at least three times since being legal. Thanks to good friends for carrying me upstairs, tucking me in and talking minimal shit.
TL/DR Would fake sleep/pass out to avoid walking
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:05:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think everyone did this as a child.
PeterCarpet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:28 on March 25, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I did this the other day with my boyfriend and it worked. I'm 22..
[deleted] ยท 737 points ยท Posted at 01:54:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was supposed to spend time with a friend I hadn't talked to in years, felt too tired, decided to say "fuck it" and lounge around the house all day.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 371 points ยท Posted at 01:56:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm severely guilty of this too
tfw13579 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:25:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That'll be me during Thanksgiving break in a couple days.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:01:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't let that happen, man. Getting there is like 90% of the work, but once your there you'll have no regrets.
Unless your friend is a clown rapist or something
handbanana9023 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is he a clown that rapes? Or does he rape clowns?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Both.
packyourshit ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 04:19:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking knew it!
ItIsWhatItls ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:58:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He did the same thing to me last week :(
LamerThanPie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:51:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Try doing nothing together!
ohmygod_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:47 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's all I do with my friends. I think it's why they like coming over.
pethcir ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:47:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing feels better than cancelling plans to do nothing. In that moment I am truly at peace.
keithpetersen7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:45:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
introverts unite!!
actually nah, i don't feel like it.
TheOneWhoKnocksBitch ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:19:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of did this, and I really regret it. Old friend of mine used to go to school with me when we both lived in Dubai. After grd 10, he moved to the States, and I moved to Canada. The summer that just passed (4 years since I've talked to this guy), he was in Canada and asked if we could meet. Thing was, him and I were not really on good terms when school ended (grd 10) so I was reluctant to meet him and was too lazy as well. I told him I was busy with moving back to school and stuff. He said that was okay and that we'd just meet next time he was in town; I agreed.
Couple of months later, I found out he died in a car accident. It really pains me that he wanted to hang out, and I said no because I was lazy, and now I'm never gonna hear from him again.
TL;DR: Old friend wanted to hang out, said no cuz lazy. Guy dies a few months later.
Nine_Cats ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:49:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes this hurts way too much.
stenhjarta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:24:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am ashamed to admit the amount of times I've done this
GRANDMA_FISTER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:09:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And here I am hoping for friends. You meanie!
regalrecaller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:14:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Depression.
bfodder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:00:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you at least rescheduled... Otherwise that isn't being lazy. That is being an asshole.
MeAndMyMoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Story of my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Decided to contact an old friend to whom I had stopped talking and to apologize to him for not returning his messages. Decided against it, thought that it`s not like it matters whether I contact him now or later. Have to apologize either way. Might as well contact him some other time.
sarahhlove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
welcome to 99% of the reasons i break plans with people.
cp3kj ยท 2911 points ยท Posted at 02:57:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My SO.
sninapeters ยท 506 points ยท Posted at 05:07:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch
derajydac ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 06:10:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She works down at the aquarium with the other starfish.
Tagedieb ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like how you assumed cp3kj is female.
servantoffire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure he was referring to cp3kj's girlfriend and the tendency that lazy girls tend to "starfish" in bed.
TheAntiZealot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Girls that... starfish..?
Noun != Verb
Brain in knots.
servantoffire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Starfish (n.): a girl who lies in bed with her arms and legs extended in a spread-eagle formation during sex.
Starfish (n.): an aquatic animal capable of regeneration of limbs.
Starfish (v.): the act of lying in bed spread-eagled during sex.
TheAntiZealot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ya learn something new every day...
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't matter when it's Arcturian, baby!
EagleShard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:12:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
-wince-
ComeAtMeFro ยท 1769 points ยท Posted at 05:45:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
*Radio static* Shots have been fired, I repeat shots have been fired *Radio static*
MajorJeb ยท 612 points ยท Posted at 06:02:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
MEDIC!!
Taco_Turian ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 06:26:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Momma? Momma, I wanna go home."
qervem ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 09:20:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
War is hell son. Here's a rifle, now get ready...
CHAAAAARRRGGE
Venom349 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:33:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be bringing that movie up, man. Too soon.
ajkeel ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:54:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
SARGE, there's too many of them!!
MajorJeb ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:55:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're the god-damned combat medic!
ajkeel ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:06:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I-I'm trying Sarge, I am!! But Polonsky's not g-gonna make it, I'm sorry!!
JMaula ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:56:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
DOKTOR!
vballdude94 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:31:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OFFICER DOWN, REQUESTING IMMEDIATE BACKUP!!!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:29:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Come ova here! I promise I will heal you!"
Arkzora ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"MEDIC! MEDIC! DOC, come on, man!"
swawif ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:03:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm imagining team fortress 2
"I'm fully charged!"
Arkzora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Charge me Doctor."
"At your pleasure Doctor."
Drowned_In_Spaghetti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:06 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gunshot
"Not anymore.."
swawif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:40 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bitch please...
activate รผbercharge
Dusk_v731 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:38:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
MY LEG!
mad87645 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:03:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Should of never asked for revved up krabby patties now should ya.
Moist_kitten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:22:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Zat was not medzin
WhatTheFhtagn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
IS TEAM TIME DOKTOR
fruitbear753 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:51:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah?
JoeScotterpuss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes?
dafukisgoingon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:00:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Loaded more comments for a team fortress reference, was not disappointed.
aprofondir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU SURE THIS WILL WORK?
MuffinMedic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes?
what_throwaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Officer down! OFFICER DOWN! WHERE ARE THE GODDAMN MEDICS?!
MeanPinball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tell my wife I said... Hello.
mankiller27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OP IS DOWN! REPEAT, OP IS DOWN!
_Sgt_Frosty_Ninja_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
SPY!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:20 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
WE NEED EVAC!
goforglory ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:06:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
YOU DONT SAY "REPEAT" OVER THE FUCKING RADIO, PRIVATE!
sidmad ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:45:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tchzzz
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:46:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Enemy helo spotted! Get your dicks in the dirt!
qervem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:21:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No foreplay? No wonder mother earth is giving us all these storms and earthquakes and shit
Savipalooza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At first I was trying to figure out what a radio static shot was.
KillPlay_Radio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really important question here, but, how did you put asterisks without making the font become italicized?
ComeAtMeFro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Put a backslash( \ ) before hand to stop the formatting, it works with everything
shytake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:27 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
motherfuckers
thebluecrab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How did Radio static not become italicized?
ComeAtMeFro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Put a backslash( \ ) before it, it cancels the action
Astraphobic_Thor ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bang bang.
klemmboslice ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:41:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
RECKER!!
building_a_moat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:43:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
NCRA UNIT BST 314 7 EMRG MSG NEW YORK STAGE 7 WASHINGTON STAGE 7 LOS ANGELES STAGE 7 AUSTIN STAGE 7 CHICAGO STAGE 7 NEW ORLEAN STAGE 7 LAS VEGAS UNKNOWN MIAMI STAGE 7 DALLAS STAGE 7 DENVER STAGE 7 SAN DIEGO STAGE 7 SAN FRANCISCO STAGE 7 BOSTO-
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:04:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
NUCLEAR ALARMS BLARE EVACUATE, EVACUATE! MELTDOWN IMMINENT! EVACUATE!
PapBear ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 06:49:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Zing
LordBling ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:23:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I see that gif, I watch it over and over, amazed at how well it loops.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't look at the tree above his head ...
BeakerVonSchmuck ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:57:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL my wife is a redditor...
harrysplinkett ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
curious thing: on the internet the english language really turns into something genderless. we don't know OPs gender since he/she is anonymous, neither does "my SO" imply the gender of the likewise anonymous SO.
in all the other languages i speak (russian, german, french) at least the possessive pronoun would tell us if the SO was a he or a she. wtf, anglophones?!
Zagorath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's one of the best things about English, IMO.
Alex4921 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:13:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Starfish her favourite position?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:21:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 07:58:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/nX9jn.gif
Not the one you wanted but the one you needed.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:07:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
slow clap
Quest4life ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Slow fap
findfind2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:06:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
dead fish?
BUTT_SOCK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You mean op's mother right?
Chickendipper69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to jerk it yourself?
idiotsbrother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel ya.
philosarapter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Like a dead fish
lprekon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ha ho!
Iceman_B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To the SO
TodMeinerFei ยท 183 points ยท Posted at 02:00:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was watching tv w/roommate, tv remote right in front of us on the floor instead of just leaning over and grabbing it we use pillows, hoodies and feet to finally get it close enough where we literally didn't have to move to get the remote
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 02:00:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is called creative problem solving!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
More like creative problem slothing
bunnylebowski1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pick things up with my toes all the time so I don't have to bend down and get them :/
ico2ico2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I developed my toe-dexterity for exactly this reason. Can pick up the remote with one foot.
lookthataway ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 06:11:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when I have to take a pill but I don't wanna go downstairs to get water I just save up a bunch of spit until there's enough to wash the pill down.
Phlegm_Farmer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:08:39 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can never wait to hawk up enough saliva. I swallow pills dry.
undeadsanta13 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 05:25:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't feel like moving from my chair so I'm staying up all night. Plus I don't have to shower in the morning because I haven't moved all day.
woahmygawd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you're gonna fall asleep.
undeadsanta13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:40:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still awake bitch
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:13:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
at least wash your genitals in caseSheWantstheDisney ยท 1490 points ยท Posted at 04:48:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Spilled chinese food on my shirt. I didn't want to get up to clean my shirt, so I just took a nap right then.
EDIT: holy shit, thanks for the gold. I hope you all learned this lesson with me - it pays to be lazy.
EDIT EDIT: Have some inspirational wallpapers about my life successes.
jewart ยท 496 points ยท Posted at 07:46:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just imagining you looking down, seeing the stain, shrugging slightly, and promptly falling asleep in your position.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:40:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe the ants will take care of it if I go motionless for an hour"
Blasterbot ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:03:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Getting tired just looking at it.
Arkzora ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:28:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/u/AWildSketchAppeared, where are you when we need you?!
Iron_Evan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:42:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Right in the middle of the Chinese restaurant.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 06:38:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spontaneous nap.
FoolOnThePlanet91 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:12:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This was my favorite, just though you should know.
iamarouet ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:59:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did you wake up and finish it?
goat-worshipper ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 07:43:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed harder at this than anything else I've ever seen on Reddit.
Batatata ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:03:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's how half of these comments are in this thread. I laughed especially hard at this one though.
coahman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:49:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same. A lot of these comments are really good but I'm glad I kept scrolling, because the way this one was worded made me laugh the hardest
PattF ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:08:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So you were laying down eating Chinese food? That does sound messy.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:00:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I eat all my meals in bed. If I'm at home I'm in bed.
Calsmokes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:12:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me you ate it when you woke up
pancakebrain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:29:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Escaping into unconciousness. Bravo.
screamingmorgasm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have been crying with laughter for around the last ten mins. You have made my day.
YaDamnSkippy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:53:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done the same thing on a few occasions, except it was vomit and I was three sheets to the wind
GISP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:36:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Naps are to sleep, what bacon is for food...
DoubleFives ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:03:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but this comment made me office-laugh-stifle. Good job that was awesome.
GRANDMA_FISTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And didn't even have to make breakfast in the morning!
sharyan51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I need this as an inspirational wallpaper SO badly
CANOODLING_SOCIOPATH ยท 1165 points ยท Posted at 03:40:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a 7 I really hated getting up in the night to go to the bathroom.
I hadn't realized that it was weird for a 7 year old to not piss their bed on a regular basis. So what I would do is take a sheet, piss into it directly, and put it off the the side. I would then hide the sheet and do this multiple times with different sheets until all of my sheets where soaked with piss by the end of the week.
Then I would piss directly on the bed and tell my parents I pissed the bed.
This way I didn't have to get up, my parents changed the sheets once a week, and I didn't have to sleep in piss sheets.
Slamma009 ยท 941 points ยท Posted at 04:39:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I... uh... wat
CANOODLING_SOCIOPATH ยท 493 points ยท Posted at 04:42:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yes
[deleted] ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 05:29:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
aaaaaaaarrrrrgh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:19:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Children don't give a fuck about smells.
Source: Was a child. Did you know you only need two pairs of socks for two weeks if you air-dry the one you are currently not wearing to solve the "soggy wet from sweat" issue?
Shitty_Human_Being ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:19:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you drink a lot of liquid I think your piss won't smell. My piss doesn't smell afaik.
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 11:59:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pro Tip: If you stand on the counter and piss into a running blender, it ruins the smoothie and splashes all over the dishes.
SunshineOceanEyes ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:03:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wtf did I just read??
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you stick your penis in it.
Shitty_Human_Being ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:07:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Source: firsthand experience?
garbonzo607 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why not? I'm sure you've done worse, amiright?
Shitty_Human_Being ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:54:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you squat over the blender and squeeze out a turd you can get a nice protein shake. Put some milk and eggs in there too. You'll get swole in no time!
bloons3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:48:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/Frugal_Jerk
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:59 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You guys are gross.
bloons3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:00 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you don't use Google black. You can save 0.031 cents a year on your electric bill. You could pay for more lentils!
meeohmi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:59:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No matter how much water you drink, a week's worth of stale piss in a small room is going to smell
Shitty_Human_Being ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you're right.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, he's wrong.
moxie132 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who let R Kelly in here?
mp3playershavelowrms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sociopaths wet their beds. Are you really a sociopath?
Calsmokes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My thoughts exactly EDIT that's not even lazy that's just gross
garbonzo607 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:57:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Half the lazy things in this thread could be labelled gross. No, it doesn't make them not lazy. And he was 7. We all did worse things than that at 7.
Calsmokes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:16:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh? Do share
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:47 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lit an abandoned house on fire at 8.
Calsmokes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:10 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How is that gross? Or lazy? New thread idea.... What is the worst thing we got away with because we were kids?
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:08 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do it! Tell me if it goes big.
Calsmokes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:06 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1row3i/what_was_the_worst_thing_you_got_away_with/
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:08 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shame. =(
Calsmokes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:37 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Right?? I thought it was a good thread idea
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:12 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's kind of like surfing, but if you can't find the wave, you die. If you catch that wave, you are on the karma train!
detourne ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:02:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So many things weird here. Which 7 year olds piss their beds on a regular basis?
JeremyR22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:46:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Accidentally? More than you think.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nocturnal_enuresis#Epidemiology
Captain_Coitus ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:41:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like a lot of effort
nipplemuffins ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 04:53:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You win.
phisherman77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:52:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is that really winning though? Or does he win by losing?
un-sub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like either way he wins to me.
Lenajayne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I agree.
roflmaoqwerty ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:38:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Man, why couldn't you just have been normal and pissed on the bed like the rest of us? What, you think you're better than us because you never slept in your own piss? Pfft, this guy.
tishmaster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:11:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You win not because it's so lazy but because you developed your laziness at such a young age.
LightlessLightbulb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:43:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dying
zoob32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:52:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i haven't laughed this hard in a long time
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:46:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
JimDunkisclop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am so confused, I feel like I'm missing something
ktorr1546 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You win
blackisthelight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:18:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:26:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Remind me to never canoodle with you.
michaelkelso69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:44:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
that sounds like something a canoodling sociopath would do
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck do two comments in a row have the word "canoodle" in them?
That's not even that popular a word.
CANOODLING_SOCIOPATH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
maybe you should see what the OP's name is.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:35 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Luithien? I don't get it.
Polite_Werewolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:59:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's just seems like more work than just going to the bathroom.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:34:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't you just use a water bottle like everyone else?
Batatata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:01:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this one takes the cake
LegendaryPrimate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username?
blusk43 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just created a Reddit account solely for the purpose of letting you know that this is the absolute funniest thing I have ever read and I thank you for this.
danglyuh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
no smells?
CANOODLING_SOCIOPATH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I stay hydrated. It was the clear watery type.
I also hid it in a drawer under my bed.
ornangejuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
why didn't you just piss under the bed like i did?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How many sheets do you have on your bed??
conicalsquare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My younger brother did almost the same thing, but with a towel. And his floor.
SprikenZieDerp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
... I would just open my window and piss out of it. Or I would piss on my carpet.
Lillithia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That actually sounds like a whole lot of effort for the sake of laziness.
awkward_peach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My little brother had a piss container, the container used to be for crayons. One day I was cleaning his room and decided to look under the bed, I pulled out a full container with a lone crayon floating on top. I also found another container that had shit in it. He shit in a container and put it under his bed because he was scared to go downstairs by himself. I never mention it because I figure it would be pretty shameful to have to remember something so mortifying. I still have a laugh whenever I remember though.
howlinghobo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
R Kelly?
therealflinchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
so what happened to the hidden piss covered sheets?
dragon925 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was around that age the corner of my room near my dresser was my toilet. Don't know why I wouldn't just walk the 10 feet or so down the hall to the bathroom. Fortunately I grew out of that or my entire carpet would have become a 12 x 12 piss sponge.
lookslikesinbad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
REACTION.GIF
(Too lazy to find one.)
nuke_deal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your username has reasons, I see.
Alobis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What the heck? The last time I pissed the bed was when I was bedridden with influenza when I was four.
Is that really a common thing?
The reason I know this is it's one of my mum's favourite anecdotes.
tackled_parsley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did a similar thing in primary school. I went to a school that was physically big (average student numbers) and my classroom was at one side of the school, the toilets at the other. This seemed like walking a marathon to my 6-8 year old mind. My teacher would NEVER let us go to the bathroom during class, but I could hold it between lunch breaks so that was no problem.
The problem was that I simply chose not to go during lunch breaks, at the time it seemed perfectly logical to me. I could go to the bathroom now and not piss my pants, but fuck it: I would rather play handball. I don't care about walking around piss-soaked today.
I can't remember the teacher ever having a reaction or sending me to change so either she was exceptionally ignorant of the children that she was teaching or became accustom to this almost daily occurrence.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It is weird NOT to piss in bed at 7?
What?
Aren't you supposed to stop pissing in bed at about 4-5?
RHS_Hefty_17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So you slept in your own piss for a week?
TheMusicalEconomist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How many sheets did you have on your bed??
Muugle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you were my child I would've been disappointed in you.
frrrni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That line scared me for a moment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pissed in my trashcan. Kept pissing when it overflowed.
Nattinat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ _เฒ
Nume-noir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:05 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To this day, I am still lazy going to the bathroom so I hold it in till morning...since I was 8 I've been to the bathroom only once in the night...and that was when I was ill and too weak to hold it in.
dannyboy_588 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:29 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Because of the double negative in your comment, I thought you thought that you were a special seven year old who was the only one who didn't wet the bed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:35 on May 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CANOODLING_SOCIOPATH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:24 on May 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
How did you get here?
ShieldProductions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pissed the bed until I was 16. It's not weird.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:42:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
username relevant
[deleted] ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 04:24:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FuzzyNutters ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:21:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I cant count the times I've gone months without doing groceries... Start raiding the "emergency" type canned food ... Eating the very last possible edible thing I had.
Usually by the end I feel like shit because there's obviously nothing nutritious in what I've been eating.
Sventertainer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:41:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do I feel like shit because I never eat anything nutritious? How long til I have to worry about scurvy?
ornangejuice ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:34:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i have done the same but the food was in my house and i just didn't want to be the one to have to make it
DatMX5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:42:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A combination of depression, laziness, and a strong tolerance for hunger made me do the exact same thing today/yesterday actually.
GrillMySkull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You beat me to my 18 hour record. Damn.
pokerherface69 ยท 323 points ยท Posted at 01:53:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Layed down and drank My beer with a straw
noc-a-homer ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:15:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this one. I was buried in sand though...
pokerherface69 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:30:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I was just laying on my couch
angryticks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:28:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've tried this and don't believe beer can be sipped through a straw. All you get is foam.
real_nice_guy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:47:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
straw beer is the best.
The only thing better is shower straw-beer.
BarelyAnyFsGiven ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:44:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously its pretty amazing, some beers get way too headdy drinking them normally, this eliminates that problem.
laststandman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:10:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Never underestimate the restorative properties of a shower beer.
excellentastrophe ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:29:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dont want to shower? Bribe myself w a nice cold shower beer. "Well ok self, if you're going to twist my aarrrmmm"
real_nice_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I never have - to do so would make one a fool.
Life's hidden elixir.
laststandman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:21:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like if there were modern showers in the 18th century, Benjamin Franklin would have an extra set of dope quotes.
I say as I pound a bottle of griege after 6 hours of writing.
essentialfloss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:22:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have taught myself to drink while lying down to avoid having to get the straw.
Calsmokes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:58:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you ever trying too tan at the pool this works well if on your belly and with almost all lounge pool chairs with the spaces between the straps you lay on ๐
efhs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:25:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
no
Ray-Bob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:55:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rather than reach to put my beer down on a coaster, I slouch down a bit and can balance it on my beer gut/sternum area
pendleza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wine in a sippy cup is great for laying in bed. Prevents spills!
pokerherface69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like I have a new method to try!
landoleed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:04 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Beer will punish you for this blasphemy
pokerherface69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:44 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lol!
laststandman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard this gets you drunker quicker. Or maybe it just gets you drunk quicker. I can't remember exactly what it was, but was there any difference?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd heard it gets you drunk quicker, but the one time I tried it it didn't make a difference at all.
pokerherface69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well shrinking with straw makes you drink faster!
GRANDMA_FISTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yummy?
dissidentrhetoric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good idea
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
*laid
pokerherface69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks grammar nazi
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:29 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome.
EDIT: I didn't downvote you. O.o So have an upvote.
pokerherface69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:29 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
fnord_happy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I always say straw beer is underrated. The world needs to discover it.
pokerherface69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For sure!
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Aikidi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:44:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Friend of mine does this, but that's cause he has a full on walrus mustache.
Max2tehPower ยท 934 points ยท Posted at 01:52:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
Todd_Brinkmeyer ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:29:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest redditors won't even comment in this thread.
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:52:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
LiquidSilver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:10:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was even lazier, I didn't even hit the reply button! You know, on the other comment, that I didn't make.
TarragonSpice ยท 148 points ยท Posted at 04:55:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/thread
cronos844 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:27:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This comment.
starships_lazerguns ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 06:41:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I came into this thread instantly knowing I was too late to make this comment.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:04:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking about it but never got around to it.
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:51:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
BarelyAnyFsGiven ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:41:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite hobby.
Tridian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was incredibly shocked that this isn't top comment, then I actually read some of the replies. We got some lazy fuckers in here.
popgoestheweasel3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:13 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
downvote reads it again "I see what you did there...." UPVOTE!!
tumaroh ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 07:34:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
uhm. i didn't want to do a project on the pythagorean theorem once. so the morning it was due i took my a ham and cheese sandwich i had for lunch, held it up for the class, cut it diagonally, and found the hypotenuse of the sandwich triangles on the board.. i got an A.
Arkzora ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:58:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking brilliant.
CherrehMan ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:48:47 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are a master procrastinator
Potato_Mangler ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:11:46 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is a case of underachievement causing overachievement
Quajek ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:12:17 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have news for you: You did the project.
movieobsessed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:03:35 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well done sir. Well done.
PanicAtTheDeadline ยท 586 points ยท Posted at 05:05:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a paper due tomorrow. It was assigned over a month ago. I'm still on reddit. god damnit..
king_jong_il ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 07:04:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username
andyourubinsometubs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:00:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Posted 5 hours ago, eh? You best be still up working on that paper!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:10:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PanicAtTheDeadline ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:14:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't! My paper is over information that can only be obtained in the city I'm currently not in :( and the internet is no help! I AM thinking of a plan though! thanks for the concern
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:17:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PanicAtTheDeadline ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:23:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
oh no! Better prepare yourself for finals.. Or drop before its too late!
Meatt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:56:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should probably start GOING to your classes. It's pretty much an easy passing grade unless your brain doesn't retain any info ever.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:44:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Meatt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:16:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like wasting time in bed doing nothing, too, but you're losing a lot of money.
Brostronaut ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:49:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relax file corrupter .net will allow you to create a corrupted file that wont open. It will buy you about a week or so of extra time before you have to pull that all nighter to get it done. This is assuming you have to email/upload the file to submit.
PanicAtTheDeadline ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:56:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
woooooahh Thank you so much! Why haven't I heard of this before?!
Brostronaut ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:43:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Its awesome. When I used it last time I got an A, confirmed the prof never read the paper.
bolaxao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Savin
futebolkid99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:09:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did a paper that was due 15 days ago today while browsing Reddit. Think my teacher was browsing Reddit while grading it and was to lazy to read it because he still gave me a B. By the way try not to panic.
dietcoke305 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:23:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Up vote for appropriate name.
JClay327 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your username embodies the dilemma you're facing...
Icaarius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:59:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same, I keep telling myself that I have lots of time to do it. Well now I have about 10 hours if I don't sleep.
PanicAtTheDeadline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:03:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get to it! I actually found out I have until Wednesday which isn't any better but I'll figure it out when the panic sets in
Icaarius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But... Reddit...
PanicAtTheDeadline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:08:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAH in that case! Reddit all the way! Thats where I'll be!
Tacomaster1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thatda boy
CheezitMaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My 5 page paper was due yesterday. Im on page 2
PanicAtTheDeadline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least you started! My name isn't even on my paper..
CheezitMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was due yesterday lol and im pretty sure it doesnt even make sense
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, are you panicking?
PanicAtTheDeadline ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:04:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I should be feeling it around... hmm.. tomorrow afternoon-ish? haha
bickies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Leave reddit. Do it now. You'll feel much better once you get started, it's just the first step that is the hardest. Start now.
SeemsLikeATrueStory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Up vote for username
frederickdiggory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
same here
iLarsNL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fitting usernameโฆ
aquamarine271 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Goodluck!
BearSauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a paper due wed. that I've known about since summer. College credit for an internship I had & 25% of the grade comes from the paper.
The other 75% comes from a questionnaire my employer fills out.
Since I know I won't get a bad review from my employer I can pretty much half-ass an already easy paper.
GRANDMA_FISTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Enough time left. AFTER you look at these fresh reddit posts.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mine in 4 hours
wtstalin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a paper that was assigned at the beginning of the semester due in two days. I should really start on thay
no1_2remember ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Slow clapping for you, sir.
ajkjnr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had paper due this past September. It's November and I get to turn it in. I have still made enough excuses for my teacher to allow this. But I have yet to start
OzCorp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
how did that work out for you?
nfp_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your name suits you very well
shortsallday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Very relevant username.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh well imagine. As I'm browsing reddit on my mac book pro I can't help but to hear, hear an email coming in. What the fuck am I doing! What the fuck am I doing. I have a paper due tomorrow. I Havnt started yet. No I Havnt even opened word.
I time in with a haven't you people ever heard of starting a paper before It's much better to face these kind of things with a sense of lazy rationality. I time in haven't you people ever heard of, starting a paper before. It's much better to face these kind of things, with a sense of...
Too lazy to finish. But this is Panic! At the Deadline's Term Paper
Turtle19712 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for the relevant username.
TFett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your life really matches your name doesn't it?
PanicAtTheDeadline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha not necessarily! I just really hate writing papers. And watching the news. Tv in general. (Its a four page paper over the local news. I have to include the commercials that were played too) Its super easy, I know. But it consists of doing a lot of things that I hate to get it done.
jaXXXek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have an exam tomorrow. I'm too lazy to open the book. In fact I'm so lazy that I can't walk 5ft to the left and grab the laptop so I'm on my phone.
SirDowns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sitting in this exact same situation right now. Windows Network Administration is the subject at hand.
stracted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a good month to write up a 5 pager. I was so lasy I just ended up dropping the class.
hewhoreddits6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Username not relevant
--seaker-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did you get the paper finished yet!?
just_a_little_boy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh damn I know that feeling.
ebac7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
DAE LE RELEVANT USERNAME?! XD
YouMeAtSix95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:22 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Very relevant username.
Poodle514 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:49 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a paper assigned over a month ago due in the class I'm currently writing this comment in. I started the paper 2 hours ago and fished just in time to print it and walk to class without reading it. I hope it's good.
AlonsoFerrari8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:47 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
How did your paper go?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PanicAtTheDeadline ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
thats exactly what I did! haha! and probably will again...
thebinderclip_ ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:49:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is a lot of money wasted....
StealthGhost ยท 155 points ยท Posted at 08:02:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Accidentally clicked on my CD drive in Windows, drive opened up because where was no disk. Tower out of reach. Googled how to write a program to close it. 10 minutes later, success.
Atario ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:28:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Usually you can just hit "eject" in the menu again and it'll reload the tray.
StealthRabbi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:09:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends on the tray, right? My laptop has what sounds like a spring-loaded disc tray. You need to apply force on to to the tray door.
I think for mechanical "wind up" drives, yeah, you can close the tray through a UI.
faceoftheinternet ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:11:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. Is programming that easy?
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:19:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I got into coding because when I was a teenager my brother told me that if you type BEEP into QBASIC the computer beeped. I thought that was the coolest shit I had ever heard in my life. Haven't looked back since. It's relatively easy.
angryundead ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:48:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what did it for me too, and the knowledge that QBASIC was on almost every computer that I would come in contact with.
One day in my middle school's library...
Start the program, and walk away.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:46:58 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Programmers are the best kind of lazy: they have a practical goal they want to accomplish, and are willing to put in more work to do it automatically than to do it manually. So while the initial time investment is much higher, the result of their work typically saves 10x as much time in the long-term.
Given that I am lazy, I enjoy programming and automating things.
Rock_Me-Amadeus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:02:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is basically how I got into programming as well, except it was the old classic:
10 print "Rock Me Amadeus is cool"
20 goto 10
It saddens me that there's no real equivalent for kids today.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:28:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
fluffy-b ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:39:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
fork bombs are really fun to make. even more fun when you make it auto start at log in.
Rock_Me-Amadeus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:52:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've never done one. I should try it just for shits 'n' giggles.
There was great one that used to be done a lot in the Acorn Achimedes computer lab - write a program that creates a directory, enters that directory, creates a directory, until you killed it. It made directory trees so deep that the teacher's running the lab couldn't work out how to delete them. The standard delete functionality wouldn't work.
fluffy-b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:09:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wow i gotta try that
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
::Inception but with folders and stuff (Paste into notepad, save as .bat file) - Stop using CTRL+C
:Deeper
md RabbitHole
cd RabbitHole
Goto Deeper
Arkzora ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:43:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm scared to use this, what exactly does it do?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Arkzora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OH. Didn't read it right, gotta try this now.
KingKingly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't noooooo wait
Arkzora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:11 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this on my friend's computer and it's amazing.
angryundead ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:51:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For most flavors of Unix shell, just paste this into a command line and hit enter:
Or for Microsoft batch:
More information.
I actually don't recommend trying either of these but modern operating systems probably have some process limits in place to mitigate these types of attacks.
mgedmin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:18 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You'd think that, but no.
angryundead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:40 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On Fedora and Red Hat the ulimit is set pretty low out of the box. That'll keep the bomb from working. (Unless you've previously tampered with that.)
mgedmin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:35 on December 5, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How low? I'm curious.
On Ubuntu ulimit -a shows that nproc is set to 62759 out of the box.
I'm also curious if ulimit can do anything about forkboms. Yes, the number of processes will be capped, but can you kill them all faster than new ones are spawned?
angryundead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:01 on December 5, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Using "ulimit -u" on non-privileged users. (The root account is significantly higher.)
Fedora 19: 1024
RHEL 6: 1024
The point is not that you'd be able to kill them all but that one user won't be able to fork-bomb the system.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:49:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Rock_Me-Amadeus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:53:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
haha, nice!
Cyhawk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:25:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For simple things like this, absolutely. Hell 2 seconds of googling found this:
mciSendString(L"Set CDAudio Door Open Wait", 0, 0, 0);
I assume it would need some msdn library to include and the basics. 20 seconds to open a new project in VS, slap that in compile and run, bam done.
Seriously, its easy. Give it a shot.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:01:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Following a tutorial to run a script that does one command? Probably.
Programming and all it's related topics, hell no.
lol_gog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
For shits n' giggles I took about 10 minutes to make my own version as well.
EDIT:
This is done in powershell. I stole the code for ejecting and closing the optical drive tray.
If you want to try it, you can copy it from pastebin.
I saved it as optical_drive.ps1.
Parameters are "eject" and "close" You might have to change " $sa.Namespace(17).ParseName("D:") to your optical drive letter.
Tripleshadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some people have a serious aptitude for it.
aaaaaaaarrrrrgh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:27:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Making your computer do a simple task is hardly real "programming". But yeah, programming isn't difficult if you have the mindset.
OrcarinaOfTrees ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 09:54:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
the first time i smoked weed i was 13 or 14. i was sitting in the chair with a coke in my hand and i was really thirsty, but i couldn't/really didnt want to move. so i just poured it on my leg, hoping my skin would absorb it like a plant. it didnt work.
[deleted] ยท 184 points ยท Posted at 03:58:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Fireworrks ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:58:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had fast enough internet speed to download a movie quick enough to not worry about it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It takes me a whole afternoon to download one movie.
RedditiBarelyKnowit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:43:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my wife and I have ordered PPV movies that we own because we didn't want to go to the other room for the disc. Costs us $6 every time, and every time it's totally worth it.
teaislovely ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is why capitalism works.
redisforever ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:54:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once torrented a copy of Red Alert 2. My copy was on the shelf next to me, but, I would need to stand up to get it.
RadiantSun ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 08:14:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I contemplated killing myself so I wouldn't have to go to work
debherter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Frighteningly enough, this does happen. Ended up on a psych ward when it got too bad.
RadiantSun ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:10:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even hate my job or my life, it was just utter laziness. I woke up from a bad sleep and was just like "what if I just shot myself in the face? Then I wouldn't have to go to work..."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:51:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to hear about this :( Hope things are better for you now.
onsos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:49 on January 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Not that I'm saying you're depressed, but that would be a classic symptom of depression. I would consider whether or not you are actually depressed.
I researched symptoms of depression so that I could fool a doctor and get an extension for a dissertation. Contemplating suicide (to avoid the dissertation and all my other commitments)was one of many signs that I was actually depressed.
I saw the doctor, got the extension, some SSRis, some Student Health CBT counselling. Probably the best decision I have ever made.
RadiantSun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:34 on January 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, no, I'm not depressed. Thank you for your serious concern, though, I truly appreciate it and it gives me a bit more faith in humanity to know that you and people like you are out there.
The-fire-guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:08 on March 11, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Today I pondered if I could do the Joker's pen trick to myself to get out of writing the essay test I were currently doing.
CodexAngel ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 06:43:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I threw away all my dirty dishes once and just bought new ones because I really didn't want to wash them after they'd been sitting in my sink for three weeks. I should feel shame about it, but instead I just feel like a bad ass.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same thing.
DavidTheTank ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 03:36:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched 7 hours of paid programming. Not even joking. I know too much about vacuum cleaners.
Pheorach ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:20:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I. Have. Done. This.
"Oh, it'll get me to sleep so fast!"
3 hours later
"I'll totally lose weight with that weird looking stick thingy and a DVD. ONLY $79.99 + S+H???? NO"
4 hours later
"I've seen this commercial already... Guess I'll watch it again"
Burnt_Couch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:06:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should do an AMA, the last vacuum cleaner AMA was rather useful!
jtj-H ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:21:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am an expert in Australian train history as was known in the year 1980
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We have a lot of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've watched about 4-5 hours before with my feet touching the channel button on the tv. The remote didn't work but I was too lazy to press the button a bunch of times with my toes to find something good.
dynamic_agenda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think my personal record for this is 4 hours. And I thought I was lazy...
juel1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did that when we had no satellite dish in our living room and I was staying up with the baby. I have a soft spot for infomercials.
UnhelpfulMoron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:40 on May 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
The Miracle Blade for me
dudemycat ยท 365 points ยท Posted at 03:05:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of my best friends and I determined that we share a common thread of laziness. We bump our bodies off of walls and other tall rigid objects in order to make 45ยฐ or greater turns in the house. It's not anything we did intentionally, we just kind of discovered one day when we were back in high school. Ha ha.
VeryTactful ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 06:29:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. And you hold on to door jambs when walking through them if you want to turn, too, I'll bet.
dudemycat ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 06:57:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
mother of god...
CorruptedToaster ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:16:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Add another to the list.
nordpol ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:28:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
'sup bros
smellinawin ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 10:54:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't do the whole bump of walls 45ยฐ thing but i do hold onto door jams or railings for the swivel swing around corners.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:00:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are these pinball maneuvers? Is that what's happening here?
berlin-calling ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's my go-to way to turn while going up or down stairs that have a railing.
juel1979 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hold door jambs to make it easier to carry something or someone heavy when going over the baby gates in my house. Then again, I touch furniture and walls to avoid smacking into them due to my depth perception being messed up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jamb.
queenborealis ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:03:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even realize I did this until now.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:00:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When would you ever need a 45ยฐ turn?!
DefectiveDimple ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
School corridors. Lots of schools are square or rectangle shape. And by lots I mean almost all
Atmospherecist ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:33:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
definitely trying this later when I decide to get up
dudemycat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Keep us in the loop!
ItIsWhatItls ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:26:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
That's a whole nother level.
dudemycat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... It is what it is.
Tridian ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:56:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't standard procedure? In my house you can always tell when somebody is coming down the stairs because they bounce off the wall halfway down instead of turning.
daweinah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:39:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this, not to help make me turn, but because I'm trying to take a shortcut.
thingswhitechxsay ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:43:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of reading this "long" comment I scrolled through...then realized hey! I fit in here too!
Situation-Critical ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:16:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
God damn, I thought I was the only one who did this. I felt so alone in the world! In fact, many things in this thread make me feel my typical! I must be one lazy motherfucker
brickfacecupboard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:04:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't walking that slight extra distance/faster pace to actually make you 'bounce' off be more work/peculiar to others?
Bananpajen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:42:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this too. Alternatively if there is a pole available I'll grab it and swing into whatever direction I'm going. I'm contemplating getting rollerskates or something similar but I can't be arsed to learn.
ny_rangers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:42:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I let my hand dangle so that it can latch on to counters/desks/sofas/whatever. This pretty much forces my body to turn in that direction.
imlost19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this too. I also lean my hip against any countertops/desks that are nearby so I don't have to support my full weight.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:25:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get ir
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 10:06:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ir has some pretty strange conjugations. It's okay, just keep up the memorization.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahah thanks for the Spanish help man
Kcry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can you draw me a picture in paint I'm a bit confused.
BadmanVIP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Baman Piderman
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... How would that work? Mind posing some sort of guide?
Keerzin ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:14:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Today? Pretended I could use the force until my housemate passed the biscuits over to me out of pity.
crok91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:21 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
the Force worked!
Zevorrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom does this all the time until I get it for her.
KeyHoleHumper ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:33:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't want to leave my bed so I decided to get Netflix even though the movie I wanted to watch was in my sister's room
gillyguthrie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:14 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
FIrst month's free anyways
whazzis ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:43:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I fashioned a grappling hook out of a wire hanger and paracord so I dont have to get up off the couch to grab things when im feeling lazy.
nordpol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you totally need this!: http://www.countycomm.com/microhook.html
russki516 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:27 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pics? That sounds like a fun project to test out on stuff
whazzis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:38 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/vvPlk5y http://imgur.com/ikiM5TH
Bent wire hanger and 550 cord.
russki516 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:32 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for pics, pretty much what I imagined. Would be fantastic for hooking xbox controllers and the little toys everywhere
PJamith ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 07:07:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I did the laundry I dumped the clean clothes onto my bed to fold later. Only later never came. I slept under my clothes for months.
hopiesoapy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:42 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Still do that myself.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:15:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The least disgusting but most lazy thing that I have ever done is skip my senior year English exam in high school because I didn't feel like getting out of bed. I shrugged and decided that I would just graduate next year.
Ayeffkay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remembered at 2am that i had SATs the next morning at 9. I played brood war for 2 more hours and when I woke up that afternoon I just said I forgot.
BlackerCoffee ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 07:10:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit. This thread was made for my sister and I'm here way too late.
Had to throw up in the middle of the night. Rolled over and vomited over the side of the bed and went back to bed. Made me clean it.
Has an alarm set for weekends and holidays called "Oh shit it's 3pm."
Had to blow her nose while in bed. Took a t shirt out of her night stand and blew her nose into it. Left that t shirt on the floor for days.
I could write a novel but I have a paper due in 9 hours.
celia1704 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:53:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My sister once threw up on her pillow in the middle of the night, turned it over and went back to sleep
juel1979 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:52:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I love that alarm name.
Tripleshadow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:20:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The alarm part reminds me of me and my marathon sleep sessions. Got called and woken up by my supervisor asking why I wasn't in already. 4:30 pm on a Saturday.
imlulz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:29:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is called sleep deprivation.
ReadsStuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Um... sleeping too long is the opposite of deprivation.
imlulz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:23:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It is, but that level of sleeping is usually brought on by sleep deprivation or lack of REM sleep.
Tripleshadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Student life. Didn't think I would actually sleep 13 hours straight and need an alarm.
sondret5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:34:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How's that paper going?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Doing better than me. I just don't get out of bed on those days.
daytonatrbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:33 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not as bad, but relevant:
http://i.imgur.com/iO7flOm.jpg
IceCapp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:44 on March 13, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Think you'll get to writing that novel someday?
[deleted] ยท 414 points ยท Posted at 04:49:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I lived in a loft apartment and was having a lazy weekend with a friend. We decided to order pizza but neither of us wanted to go downstairs and answer the door. So, we did what any lazy girls would do. We found a basket, an old jump rope, bathrobe sash and a scarf, tied them together and lowered the money down in the basket and had the pizza guy tie the rope around the box a couple times so we could bring it back up. We tipped him well enough to make it worth his while and we still got called weird before he left.
Edit: spelling
duckyforyou ยท 403 points ยท Posted at 06:35:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like WAY more effort than actually going downstairs.
ironicallysad ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 07:18:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Being lazy is like a full time job.
Abababeebabooba ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:15:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I need a raise
Sefilis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're right.. I'm quitting
nightwing2024 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:00:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's not the expended effort, it's the principle of the matter.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's about sending a message.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:16:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but now that they have the lowering apparatus, they will be able to do it easier and quicker in the future.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:25:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're forgetting that it's not just going down the stairs it's going back up the stairs too. Besides, you'd be surprised how much useless crap some people just have laying around. This was literally within a 3 foot radius so it was accessible to my laziness.
garbonzo607 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:38:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with ya, girl!
Thorbinator ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:07:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They're probably engineers.
tyler2009 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:24:24 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downstairs is okay, it's the return trip up that gets yah
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But it was awesome.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And they still probably went downstairs to get some of the supplies
isignedupforthis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to rationalize.
rageak49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What if they didn't want to put on pants?
thesaharah ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:20:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever read. May you be lazy for life.
Sincerely, a fellow lazy.
real_nice_guy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:49:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
it puts the pizza in the basket
Finger-Food ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:28:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
heh.
Ciderbat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:25:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This was the giveaway that they were totally baked at the time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whoops! I'm usually a stickler for spelling. It was late and I'm lazy remember?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:11:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:23:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's also having to come back UP the stairs. ;)
Faiakishi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:14:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pizza guy was a dick, that's fucking hilarious.
Arkzora ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:37:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to correct? I understand
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:40:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I'll go with. :)
TheMusicalEconomist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When taken in tandem with your username this story just sounds so friggin' adorable.
Niquey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I saw this same premise on a show called "30,000 calories a day."
shreedder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It puts the pizza in the basket or else it gets the hose again
shandromand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, the pirate treehouse method. I remember it well!
monkeytorture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:38 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the "Buffalo Bill"
rhombusrhino ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:12:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I just don't eat for the entire day because I don't feel like making or going to get anything.
xONLYxSAYSxFACTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do u not hunger?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:05 on December 24, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
amvegas ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 12:12:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to smoke a lot of weed. One day I got the munchies but I was too lazy to go out and get food. I ended up eating a brick of butter covered in sugar. That was the last time I ever smoked weed
fkothari ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:16:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ahh a shame stick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like that would really prompt your system to flush.
[deleted] ยท 255 points ยท Posted at 04:32:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
30 straight episodes of HIMYM on Netflix in one day.
knot353 ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 07:36:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Been there done that. Wanted to punch ted so hard by the end of the day.
stefaniey ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:03:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh good I'm not the only one who wants to beat that dumb ass with a shoe.
fml_twice ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 10:11:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Right! He's such a pretentious little bitch.
Lazek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The basis of the HIMYM drinking game my friends and I play was "Drink whenever Ted's a douchebag," and then the rules multiplied organically from there.
ownworldman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:00:19 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ted is too relatable character.
brian21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
*first episode
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:09 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Right?!
charredsmurf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:01 on January 30, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
QUIT GOING BACK TO ROBIN
YaDamnSkippy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:01:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I first discovered Breaking Bad, I watched the first three seasons in one sitting
Oberstleutnant88 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:44:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How fat are you?
YaDamnSkippy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:47:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
about 370 bananas
Oberstleutnant88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:50:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
K
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:35:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just watched all 92 episodes of Chuck in 6 days. At one point I watched 22 episodes in a day and they are 40 mins each, Himym is only 22 each.
DroogyParade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:33:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm re-watching Chuck. I watched 11 episodes yesterday.
ZuFFuLuZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:38:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell? I just wanted to write the exact same thing, because that's what I did this summer. All of Chuck in 6 days.
I also just watched the first 3 seasons of Sons of Anarchy last week... I like to binge on my TV.
Burnt_Couch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:05:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...I just went through HIMYM over the last few weeks and am now watching Chuck on Netflix. I watched Chuck from start to finish on TV but I'm rewatching because it's a good show...I didn't watch HIMYM until I found it on Netflix but I'm sad it's going to be over soon :(
Chuck was such a great show, it makes me really sad it got cancelled.
Scowlface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:26:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this with battle star galactica. It put me in a dark place.
Aktta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:46:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Long HIMYM marathons were quality time for me and my former significant other. It might be lazy but it was awesome and easy at the time. I should watch more of that. Some other day.
kibblenibble ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:13:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Filthy casual.
icedout4life ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:03:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
been there
tHeSiD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:23:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I finished battlestar Galactica in 4 days straight. Had nothing to do so didn't have to sleep much. Just laid on my bed continuously watching. Just got up when I had to poop or pee
SilentAlarm25 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:36:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, that's just awesome!
VolCan91 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:03:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bah n00b! All true blood six seasons in under 4 and a half days.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:37:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Justifiable. HIMYM is like crack.
bethycakes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:41:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Best day everrrrrrrr!
sicfan9996 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:56:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, that's possible?
amateuroneironaut ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:33:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's roughly 11 and a half hours. It's very, very possible.
sicfan9996 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:34:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I applaude thee, good sir
BRITANY-IS-A-CUNT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:33:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like my most recent time I've watched TV
Calebh3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:39:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not related to the thread or anything.. But after tonight's episode I expected everything to rhyme.
GRANDMA_FISTER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:14:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, that's fun!
Leviathan666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:06:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Roughly estimated to be approximately 11 hours of TV, not counting any pauses for bathroom breaks.
Damn.
ny_rangers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:46:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not bad, but can you top the first 6 seasons of The Office in 7 days? A few of those seasons have over 25 episodes.
Lady_Tedwina_Slowsby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only 30? Filthy casual
Pawtism2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is actually very impressive.
leias_buns ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:21:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I watched it, I watched all eight seasons in 3 days.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:39:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You'd need 75 hours to do that. You had only 72 hours.
Are you the Doctor?
leias_buns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:04:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe.
king_jong_il ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds legend----wait for it---dary
gonnapie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Legend-wait for it- lazy!.LEGENDLAZY!
GeorgeRulez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Amateur
ajkjnr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...everyone does that
RottenGrapes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Amateur.
_nate_higgers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done around 45...
russki516 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:59 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did 23 Big Bang Theory's. Oh God.
MrConfucius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
AWWW IT'S ON NETFLIX? HOW DID I NOT REALIZE THIS.
CrosbysJockStrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow....you're super late, man. You better be watching that shit right now!
Huge_O ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 06:58:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoting all of the lazy things i do, instead of posting them myself...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That takes even more effort.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:25:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paid my brother $5 to get me a glass of water from the bathroom down the hall because I was playing WoW and hadn't had any for several hours.
thehazzanator ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 06:39:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
went to a pizza shop, ordered a pizza for delivery to my house, asked if the driver could drive me there as were going to the same place. was cheaper than a taxi
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:37:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are a genius
CarlaWasThePromQueen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:17:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not lazy but brilliant.
Veatchdave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:17:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know, I'm not gonna say I don't believe you. But if you next tell us you struck the "Captain Morgan".... I don't knowwwww
Pottski ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:57:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was a great Australian tradition to get home cheaply from the pub when you were drunk. Nowadays the pizza places don't allow it as it's an OHS issue. Damn fucking OHS.
miss_miggeli ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Genius..
Quajek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:47 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this. Not because I was lazy, but because I was miles from home and the bus wasn't running.
limitnz ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:25:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered a $33 pizza order (delivered) just to get the drink. The place is about 2mins away too
daymankarate ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 06:08:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS PIZZA WITHOUT MY DRINK!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
krusty krab pizza is the pizza for you and me
TA5MAN1AN ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 04:56:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Middle of the night when the late night piss time comes around... pissed in my empty cheeto bag and didnt throw it out for 2 days because i lost it and didnt want to find it
CUNT_PUNCHER_9000 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:37:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some serious bachelor shit right here.
thesaharah ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:18:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So sad. So lazy.
Anozeph ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:39:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
am i the only one that dosnt have to get up in the middle of the night to piss?
kateykmck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:46:03 on March 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I never have to. Husband does all the time. And they say women are the ones with small bladders? Psh.
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but you're full of shit.
Anozeph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:51:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
no im not lol
ilikeeatingbrains ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a download code for Rust if anyone wants it. I got two from a promotional offer and I only need one copy of the game obviously.
Anozeph ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:28:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i would really like one been looking for one for ages now
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:02:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dangerously cheezy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. Gross. Stop.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How do you lose a cheeto bag? Especially when its filled with piss?
TA5MAN1AN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put it under my bed but when i woke up the next morning my mind had thought i threw it away already. But halfway through the first day my room smelled like piss so i just sprayed fabreez until i found the bag when i was cleaning my room on the second day.
mrhoggatt ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 04:31:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed in the kitchen sink because the kitchen was closer...
WaltHWhite ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:38:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I piss in the bathroom sink cause it's closer sometimes. And it's such a nice height. I do this when I'm drunk though, haven't done it whilst sober... yet.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:18:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bizzacore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
/r/sinkpissers might be the place for you.
ReadsStuff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:34:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did it 10 seconds ago. Seriously, perfect dick height.
celieus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:48:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you i like you
tHeSiD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:19:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this too! And sometimes when I'm drunk, (I smoke when I'm drinking for that extra high) I wait for the pee in the bladder to build up and go out to the balcony for a smoke and just pee right there into the drain while having a smoke. It's awesome to smoke while having a long beer pee
jacky4chan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:27:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
smoking during beer pees is the best... I also like to smoke while taking a shit
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As opposed to the bathroom sink?
thebigcheeeese ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:32:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is a weekly occurrence for me
christianpowell416 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed in kitchen sink because Skyler wouldn't leave the bathroom...
Bizzacore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I seriously JUST watched that episode hahaha
copperpony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this, but not the same scenario. I rented a room and the owner of the apartment was an old man so I couldn't rush him out. I did this many times. Many, many times. No regrets.
juel1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure this happened in our house. Especially in the winter. Bathroom was in the ingested garage downstairs.
SativaLord ยท 1240 points ยท Posted at 01:59:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every night I piss in bottle/soda cans instead of walking 10 feet to the bathroom.
noc-a-homer ยท 1014 points ยท Posted at 04:19:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sounds more like indica than sativa
ha_nope ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:56:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
am I missing something here?
vagination ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:10:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Indica is a strain of weed that will make you couchlocked.
Audihoe ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:26:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not really a "strain"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:27:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yeah more like species or subspecies
daBroviest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ha nope
stalebongsmoke ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:22:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Indacouch
PUBES_IN_YOUR_FOOD ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:40:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually do this all the time when I'm drinking lol, sometimes it gets bad and I wind up with numerous bottles of piss under my bed by the end of the month. Also too lazy to throw them away, so I unscrew the lids and just toss the bottles out my window into the bushes. The bushes always look sick compared to the ones next to them, it's hilarious.
TwinSpirit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:13:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No idea why I laughed so hard at this, but thank you. Gold for you!
PUBES_IN_YOUR_FOOD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:40:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow! First time this has happened, much appreciated! Genuinely happy to know I made some people laugh!
daBroviest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was just wondering how a comment with 18-15 karma could get gold. Oh well. You're now tagged as that guy who gives gold to low-scoring comments.
PhallogicalScholar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:43 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Way of the road.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Precisely why I do the same thing.
[deleted] ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 06:01:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
j0nny5 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:23:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well there you go!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:55:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Oberstleutnant88 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:42:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
jesus
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:59:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Machine?
Hurion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would do this if the people nextdoor didn't have a living room window facing my bedroom.
Fucking housing developments :(
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:45 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
gregory_s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:35 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good to know
CarlaWasThePromQueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
work smarter, not harder.
Bitter_Bastard ยท 263 points ยท Posted at 04:25:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I cleaned out a gallon jar of what was my roommates spent Kim-chi for recycling. Never recycled it but have been randomly pissing in it then closing the lid it's in my closet now turning brown. Edit: I shouldn't try and explain piss jar 2013 it is sociopathic. Edits: /u/Lynfect are you out there?
[deleted] ยท 272 points ยท Posted at 06:16:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jwalterleavesnotes ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 07:19:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Potential to be the next cumbox
Teledildonic ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:39:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Piss Jar 2013
never forget
RattAndMouse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:46:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait until you see his shoebox
2edgy4mi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:39:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Its better than cum box
And much better than filling 1 or 2 liter bottles with semen.
stressed_tech ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:50:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude
theEPIC-NESS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's trying to be the new cum box
chicubs3794 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Atleast its not a cumbox
Mr_Cumbox ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:30:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
New cumbox? New cumbox. Seriously though... What the Rick?
Edit: Fucking Autocorrect... Rick->fuck. I'll leave it there though, because it made me laugh when I noticed it.
papalonian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:16:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like you need a new account.
d________ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:44 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Carl get back inside!
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:41:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Scratch and sniff pics, please.
Wilmore ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:41:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kimchi and urine scratch and sniff? I suppose it's cheaper than actually going to Seoul.
a_tiny_monster ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:40:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe you
joggle1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:05:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, we believe. We don't need any pics for proof, seriously.
PacloverN1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:07:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes we do.
ThatsWhat_G_Said ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:22:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
we're still waiting, op
enjoytheshow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:25:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like a lot of people are just casually glossing over this comment.
Deathmask97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:37:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
More like eyes glazed over and they tried to immediately forget.
the_bhan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:30:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can we have some photographic evidence please?
pisspantsing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:33:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pics or it didn't happen.
doot_doot ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:53:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy echoes of cum box...
OrangeSherbet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:01:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Elaborate on this "piss-jar." It's like the second coming of the cum-box.
DontDropThSoap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
pls op
Brutalitarian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:26:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Take pictures and post them on /r/wtf
EziosBlades ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:26:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cum Box 2012/Piss Jar 2013
miniatureelephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ew.
Superfly503 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In other words, making more kim-chi.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
do you perchance have to walk past someone to pee in the middle of the night?
drdrizzy13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
pics!!!
abcdrape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Could we have some pics? This could be like a fresher cumbox.
grinde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is it bad that I've been considering this? I even have an empty 4L wine jug.
Batatata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i'll give your reddit silver if you drink it
JBalk9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ _เฒ
BatteryKeyChain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. Fucking. Christ, man.
GabrieI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Post pics
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jarate!
Delta25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What.
Squidmonkej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We're definitely going to need some pictures here
irrational_abbztract ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the urine equivalent of the prestigious Cum Box.
WaGgoggles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cumbox, meet pissjar
rehtulx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't be certain, but I don't think that's how you make kim-chi.
pfft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every male that's ever used a non-functioning urinal knows that new piss on top of old piss creates the worst smell imaginable.
This goes beyond laziness. You're actually punishing yourself physically for not being able to do a simple task properly.
CompGrl323 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying to figure out what would smell worse, the pee or the kimchi. :P My sister's boyfriend is korean and his fridge constantly smells like kimchi. Bleh.
Jarl_Walnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, you start with a piss bottle, but then what? Huh? What's next, maybe something box shaped and filled with moldy jizz?!
EpReese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
SEND PICS! :D
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Careful with that, its an acidic fermented stink bomb now.
PENIS_CUM_SHIT_BALLS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is worse than the cumbox
bldkis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:06:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ _เฒ
ASS_CREDDIT ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:14:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend that was a drug dealer, he would keep glass jars full of piss in his room as defensive weapons.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 06:56:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...ohh god.. This could almost be as bad as the cumbox...
eVaan13 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:18:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Finally, the one we deserve. Piss jar 2013 NEVER FORGET. Full story + photos for proof please and then you may leave.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:59:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bitter_Bastard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:38:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can't do that if you're say an over the road truck driver too much danger of spillage but I know that problem. (Child of a truck driver having to pee in jugs.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:27:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bcarey1233 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A local driver might pick the load up and drop it in a yard nearby for the OTR driver to take it to delivery. OTR just means they do the long hauling. I work in logistics.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Who make more?
Local sounds more stressful (driving a big semi in the city)
Bcarey1233 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well the local guys take several loads a day, so its just delivering, picking up a trailer, delivering, etc. I am pretty sure they get paid hourly rather than by the mile. The OTR guys usually get paid by the mile, somewhere around .30 per mile. So lets say you are doing a 1200mi run you make around $400 for 2 days work. Not too bad, but truckers deal with a lot of BS. So lets say his truck breaks, gets detained by the DOT, held up at a shipper/receiver etc. that same $400 just got stretched to 3 days. Sometimes they are compensated, most make less than .30 per mile etc. Check out this documentary it is not what EVERY truckers life is like, but it shows how much it can suck. Give these guys some respect!
janesayswhat ยท 266 points ยท Posted at 02:11:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ding, ding, ding we have a winner!
TheDutchin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:45:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No no, the guy above who smashed the lightbulb with his shoe because he was too lazy to get up and flip the switch wins.
That's dedication.
BeeHammer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:27:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry but the /u/TupperWolf answer is the winner.
SativaLord ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:22:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I currently have 2 liters,5 soda cans,2 monsters,and 10 bottled water bottles all filled with piss.
SorryForYoureLots ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:22:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I, uh, assumed you threw them away in the morning. Unless that was just last night's piss??
SativaLord ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:05:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've had them for a few months.
SorryForYoureLots ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:09:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing growing in them? Serious question because I unfortunately have run into a situation where I've found containers of piss in someone's bedroom. There were mushrooms growing in some of them. Actual fucking mushrooms.
SativaLord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:13:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No mushrooms but there's stuff floating around at the top.
SorryForYoureLots ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:15:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
#ThingsYouRegretAsking
SativaLord ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:22:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend has MUSHROOMS growing in his piss bottles. You think my case is bad? I'm actually kinda jealous. I might have to keep them down there for a few more months.
SorryForYoureLots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My "friend" was a she. A girl who was pissing into mostly cups, but the occasional bottle (not sure how she pulled it off). And not a friend, family, on my husband's side, so not blood related to me. I felt like it was very important to clarify that for some reason.
But yeah, now I'm wondering just how long the fungus filled cups of piss we found had been sitting there when we helped her move.
SativaLord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've had mine for a little over a year now and no mushrooms. Yet. So that should tell you how long she had them down there for...
SorryForYoureLots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shudder
For real though dude, why?
SativaLord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cause I'm lazy, yo. And holy shit I just checked my two liters and there is black speckles floating on the bottom. You won't believe what else I found. In the "feet" of the bottle, it looks like lumps of Crisco.
SorryForYoureLots ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:02:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You seem oddly excited. Any chance this is just a long joke you're carrying on because you answered an Askreddit thread with a lie?
SativaLord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:10:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Excited? No. And no I'm not lying. I would show proof but everytime I try to sign up for an Imgur account it won't let me.
SorryForYoureLots ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:33:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need an Imgur account to upload a picture. You can just upload and copy the link.
SorryForYoureLots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't say I thought you were lying, just thought maybe you were playing up a true story (pissing in bottles) by saying you kept them for ages, to make the story more interesting.
SativaLord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:19:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about ages, but I've had them since summer of last year. Does that count?
cmonpplrly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pics or it didn't happen
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you tell me how to upload pics to reddit from an iPhone I will.
JeremyR22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In all seriousness, wouldn't you think that was an indicator of a possible emotional problem or mental illness requiring help?
BarelyAnyFsGiven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wonder if pee mushrooms are edible...
_vargas_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably drinks them all. That's why he pisses so much.
SativaLord ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:06:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you expecting me to walk to the kitchen for a drink?
TexasTmac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So the next time through, is it like piss2 ?
janesayswhat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:25:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My SO used to do that working for a cable company and used gallon jugs. I've actually heard this is not quite uncommon.
penisweed ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:20:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
way of the road boys
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ya well i don't know if you noticed Ray, but you aren't on the road. Your rig cab doesn't move an inch.
SativaLord ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:34:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't throw mine away though.
janesayswhat ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:36:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Um well yeah that's kinda gross.
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know. But throwing them away would require me to get up,grab them, and dump them out. Too much.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:22:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SativaLord ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:03:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am Catholic, thank you very much. jk
Catch_twenty-two ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No. He is too far gone. Even Jesus couldn't save him.
mgearliosus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:46:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He needs Juan.
TheChad08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if winner is the right word to describe that guy.
CrabappleSnapple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
ajkjnr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, you haven't seen Commander Zombie Doughnut of the Lazy ship
bmartin1 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:29:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good to know Im not the only one that does this
MiniMeatball ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:22:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this 5 minutes ago :(
OfficerJamesLahey ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:36:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i used to do that too. id throw them under my bed so i didnt have to get up and throw them away. id forget about them and after a while they turn black.
BarelyAnyFsGiven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That means their fully-matured and ready to drink!
gsuchemist ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:21:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always want to do this when I'm in bed, I just feel like if I do I'll be at rock bottom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It will be the rock bottom, just don't do it.
I can't believe this thread, who are these people? I mean, I've pissed in bottles too, I've gone weeks without washing etc, but not as a regular part of my life!
Zaiton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You're already there.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:55:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I filled a few ocean spray juice bottles. They never got emptied. One day I just threw them out the window. Then, months later, i was riding my dirtbike around the house, ran one over, and it popped open, spraying my face with year old piss. It was a terrible thing.
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dying just picturing you're reaction.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The liquid was black at that point. Fucking nasty.
stonedotjimmy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:55:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After 9pm no force of god will make me walk down the hall. Consequently my window never has a screen in it.
vynusmagnus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:04:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Glad to hear someone else does this. After a while, my piss bottles pile up and emptying them out uses more energy than if I just used the bathroom normally.
ootika ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:17:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin Howard Hughes over here.
mlennox81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to do this when I'm drunk a lot
holdinyourpiss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get a bucket, sooo much easier, no more piss on floor (which I always just let dry), and easier to pour out the window too!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, Frank Reynolds. Good idea.
eagreeyes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My camping tent has a zipper flap about six inches off the ground. I'm guessing it's for running cables INTO the tent, but many a freezing night I've rolled over just enough to run my cable OUT of it when I'm too lazy to thermal up and track to the john.
That does remind me of seven or eight years ago, camping in Sequoia NP when I stepped out of my tent in the middle of the night only to realize there were bears savaging the camp. Nope. Right back into the tent. I'll hold it. Thanks.
myotheralt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You were supposed to pee on the bears. Dominate.
nawinter77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is why the bears come to your camp. Rats, too. Don't piss / shit where you sleep, son.
ornangejuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when i was little i pissed under my bed instead of walking 10 feet to my bathroom
rdudejr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn that is lazy
PoppinYourAsshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did the same thing in college with those 1L cartons of peach juice. Even after I'd filled maybe 3-4, instead of proper disposal (I'm still unsure of what that means) I'd drop them onto a service sidewalk from my third story window.
SativaLord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm thinking about pulling a prank with them. I have about 2 gallons of old musty piss. Now what to do with it...
PoppinYourAsshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Long term: begin winemaking as a hobby, and do this seriously for months. After a while let everyone know that you have created the perfect wine, but it needs to be kept in a cask for seven years, seven months and seven days. Do this, but store your cask of piss. Give up wine making claiming that to be the last cask, but the best cask to ever be made. Remind them of it after seven years, seven months, and seven days. When they gather around and toast, watch them labor through a full glass of your seven year, seven month, seven day old piss. They know this day is important to you so they will finish. When they finish let them know it was a seven year, seven month, seven day long joke. Their faces would be priceless.
Short term: put it in a bucket over a door, or constantly fill the cats litter box with it.
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant.
acetominaphin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Anything involving contact of said piss with another human being is not a prank, it's bio-terrorism.
PrimativeJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Soda cans? Doesn't that cut you?
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even press my tip in. I just aim and fire. Hover my urethra above the hole.
PrimativeJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now I have that mental image. I don't want that mental image.
AshAidan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used to do the same thing before I got an onsuite. Friends used to joke about my lemonade having sediment.
wwahwah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not as bad as fapping into a box instead of walking to the bathroom..
labeille ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 8, I peed in my bed because I didn't want to get up to go to the bathroom. It was cold and dark. I regretted it immediately after though. Still didn't get up until morning.
pixelthug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did that when I was having arguments with myr oomates and I was also sick. Then I just got used to it and I did it for like 3 months.
iamarouet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this was normal!
pumpkin_blumpkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Charlie is that you?
SativaLord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:11:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
Pure-Pessimism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted to down vote out of disgust, but your reply was technically perfect. So I couldn't.
FlappableTree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Saving water bills... Nice.
clovas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is awesome. I just threw my piss bottles out that have been piling up for a week or so.
SativaLord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:28:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should just keep them! Mine have started growing stuff.
clovas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:30 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely second guessed throwing them away. Don't worry there will be more batches and we can compare piss pics!
FlyInMyG6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ray?
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, Charlie.
luisrodriguezp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He he he - this has my name written all over it.
Polrek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That is so freakin' gross
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know right? What a sick fuck. I bet money the guy ends up in an insane asylum in the next decade.
cranberrykitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend does this and leaves the bottles around the room for me to find. So fun...
CUNT_PUNCHER_9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ashamed to say that I've done this too, except using a milk jug. It's amazing how much you piss and how warm it is.
GillicuttyMcAnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a friend IRL that does that... he drinks a lot and uses the leftover bottles for his piss.
We all laugh at what a disgusting human being he is... Really Dave, walk your ass to the bathroom, you'll never get laid with your piss-bottles lying around.
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What low life. Get your shit together Dave.
DragoonDM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think you might have been my roommate once.
sippintits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahha my friend does this, he lives in a dorm and has like 6 water bottles full of piss in his desk cubby fuck things.
FireCrouch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was on a pretty long drive and had to pee pretty badly. Didn't feel like stopping anywhere so I put the cruise control on and pissed in a bottle.
mubd1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would do that, but I can't fit my dick through the neck of a bottle.
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You don't put your whole dick in there, dumby.
mubd1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but if I use the head of my penis to make a seal with the mouth of the bottle there's some nasty spurting and leakage that occurs when the urine displaces some of the air in the bottle and essentially pressurizes the bottle.
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a technique down. You have to balance levels of pressure by fluctuating the tip in and out. Start slow and cautiously. Gradually work your way up to full on pissing. It's sorta scary the first time. I got butterflies in my stomache my first time.
mslack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is your name Sam?
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually disgusting.
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know right?
Fearlessleader85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucking gross, guy.
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know right?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in boarding school I did this all the time.
Piecarrier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats kind of alarming dude, not good.
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How so?
Piecarrier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you really cant get up to go the toilet there might be some medical issues (fatigue, depression)
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But I'm taking my medication everyday.
Piecarrier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should probably go to a doctor just to be on the safe side.
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I already have a prescribed medication.
Piecarrier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:26:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh okay.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
About 6 water bottles. And a few monster/soda cans. Plus a liter. Also there's a glass under my bed.
TobyGoodwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago, I had a friend (who, now you come to mention it, was not entirely ignorant of the pleasures of Sativa) stay over. He was sleeping a few feet away from the bathroom, which was clean and cosy (way nicer than the bathroom in his house). Absolutely no reason not to visit it.
But he didn't.
But that's not the extraordinary part. The extraordinary part is, in the morning, instead of discreetly disposing of the evidence, he was waving these bottles of piss around while explaining to myself and then-girlfriend just exactly why-the-fuck he had decided to slash in a bottle.
(Did I say ex-friend?)
mtndude93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So glad i'm not the only one...
FuckingQWOPguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ray? Is that you?
third_eye_open ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's the way of the road Bubs...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45rIRGX-ZJY
BarelyAnyFsGiven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure why people are so pedantic about that sorta stuff.
What do people think chamberpots were all about?
Though 10 feet...is quite a successful lazy effort.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh how I envy you men-folk.
DabsMcGee42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same thing in high school, but mostly because I was always playing video games and smoking weed until really late and didn't want to wake my parents up.
Batatata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once pissed in a bottle to remember how it feels. I filled the thing to the exact level you'd find it at in a store. It was a 1 liter bottle of smart water. This was one month ago. I still have it in my closet because it's too beautiful to toss out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this when my boyfriend isn't home. In my defence, the toilet is down a flight of steep stairs and I still have the scars from last time I fell down them while half asleep. I'm protecting my safety!
NegroSalad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Guilty of this too. Now I just piss in the slop slink in the garage instead of going upstairs to use the real bathroom.
Soronir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, used fast food cups, which I then keep on bathroom counter. Pee in those, pour in sink, rinse out cup, set it back on the counter. No splatter, saves water.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did this every day in Afghanistan. I'd fill bottles all night long. Out of mission while up in a truck turret, I'd fill bottles. Everyone did this. I think from the amount of water I was drinking I'd easily fill 5 or more bottles a night.
TLDR Afghanistan has hundreds of thousands of piss bottles.
thestimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And I hated you for it.
3500280611 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Under my bed there is currently a fucking mountain of bottles. like 70-80 of them. Brought a girl home last weekend, and when morning came and she leaned over the edge of my bed to look for her pants I was absolutely fucking terrified she would spot them.
I'm cleaning that shit up this week, or, at least I'm throwing a blanket or something over them.
Ciderbat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once lived in a townhouse with my dad. His room was in the basement and mine was on the second floor, beside the washroom. He later confided in me that when he'd wake up at night, instead of walk up 2 floors, he'd lay on the concrete an piss into the floor drain. I didn't judge. I'd pissed in the backyard after dark so many times because I didn't want to wait for the washroom.
LisaLulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:26:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had a penis.
SativaLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You can borrow mine.
Salzberger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Invest in some Gatorade bottles. Perfect size and shape.
ShadowOfMars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a sniper?
THE_CHOPPA ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 04:11:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I was about 12 years old . I was sitting on my couch watching cartoons and eating buffalo wings. I didn't want to get up and throw away the bones so I just shoved the plate under the couch. I then ( from the couch) began throwing each and every eaten wing and bone into one the corners of the living room , somewhere in between the bookshelf and the TV, until my dad walked in.
He was both baffled and ashamed..and so am I
juel1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to drop wrappers and paper plates behind the couch as a kid.
derekd223 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not really lazy... more childhood dumbness to be honest
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wut?
THE_CHOPPA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TLDR; I used the corner of my living room for my trashcan
Gyissan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus christ.. so unhygienic.
sadisticsoul ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:39:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had no clean bowls for cereal. Used a ziplock bag.
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 06:08:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
PapBear ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:00:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
too rich for my blood
atn9009 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hell yeah, I do this with panties! When I'm running low I either go to Victoria's Secret or ask my roommate to make a stop for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You must have a lot of tshirts.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
a guy I used to work with did this. There was an Old Navy on the way to work. They always had crappy tshirts for a couple bucks. You know, really thin, the collar stretched out to the circumference of a large pizza...those shirts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i do this with underwear. i'll be out and i'll just go to target on my way to work or something and pick up a pack.
DrBrownNote ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:14:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit...
unclaimedshoes ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 02:38:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a pizza delivered from the shop in the building, it was connected by the elevator.
ellemeff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is a pizza shop across the road from me. Have contemplated getting delivery so many times. Am too cheap to pay extra for delivery though.
SirBrrr ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 04:16:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had my wisdom teeth removed day before and it hurt like a bitch, but the pain medicine was up a half a flight of stairs. Stayed on the couch, and spent the rest of the day without it.
LightlessLightbulb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:45:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hardcore laziness.
JeremyR22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had mine out and was a bit lazy (narcotic pain pills do that...) about the hourly saltwater rinse thing.. I did it but not as frequently as I was told to. Ended up being agonisingly painful and took way longer to heal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone swore up and down to me that this procedure would be painful. I've had it done twice (bottom left the first time, the remaining three the second time) and I never felt the need to take the pain pills.
Were the teeth already causing you pain when you had them out? Mine were, and I think it could be that comparatively having them out was a fucking picnic.
SirBrrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:37 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, I had them out pretty early
Twathammer32 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:56:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't use a spoon for jello/pudding I squeeze it and eat it that way
chetradley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've found the foil cover serves as a great makeshift spoon.
Twathammer32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That seems like a lot of work
Veztin ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:43:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live 3 houses away from a pizza place. I get it delivered
ehamm ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:16:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I moved my desk from my old house last year, and took out all of the drawers to move it. One drawer made it in, the other is still in the back of my car.
HighSorcerer ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 01:53:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a dimmer switch with an IR receiver so I can turn my lights on and off with my TV's universal remote. Also, it's awesome.
anchormanrulz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:57:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I want this.
HighSorcerer ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:00:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Directions:
1) Find a dimmer switch that comes with its own infrared remote control(the infrared part is important).
2) Find an inexpensive universal remote with learning capabilities.
3) Install light switch(remember to turn the breaker off!)
4) Program remote with the functions of the switch's remote.
My remote controls my TV, bluray player, surround sound, air conditioner, and overhead lights. It's great.
terryducks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:29:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
too much work. you can skip step 3
anchormanrulz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
<3
SaucyFingers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Get Ube instead. Control it from your phone.
http://myube.co/
HighSorcerer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a ton of those "control your lights from your smartphone" things, and I found that an IR dimmer + universal remote would be a lot cheaper.
PhilipT97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you have a Galaxy S4, you phone is a universal IR remote control!
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I need this.
juel1979 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a remote control lamp over my desk. The gun from my NES would sometimes turn it on and off.
SaeLow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Best thing I ever did. Ever.
Alkanfel ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 05:15:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a sophomore in high school, I would tape BBs to my pens and pencils and carry a telescoping magnetic pointer so I didn't have to bend over to pick them up if they rolled off my desk. Came in handy in the hallways too.
Skids_N_Steeze ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:36:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't be the only one who read that as
Patjeff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had to read twice. It was better the first time.
oliviathecf ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:05:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I should do something like that, especially when your pencil/pen rolls on that side of the desk.
mini4x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If they have BBs taped to them how would they roll?
Alkanfel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:48:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Syntax error. Should have said "fell" or something.
_vargas_ ยท 716 points ยท Posted at 04:48:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
A couple years ago, there was an instance where I had the day off and my girlfriend at the time was away at her grandparents until later that night. This left me free to sit about the apartment with absolutely nothing expected of me, so I just sat on the couch all day and watched TV. Within twenty minutes, I decided to rub one out.
Bringing up a video of a young Japanese women being massaged by another young Japanese woman, I merrily stroked away. Ninety seconds later, I felt ready to bust a nut. I searched frantically for a receptacle. Finding none, I frantically removed a sock and slid my penis in it just in time for the climax. Instead of getting up to put the sock with the dirty laundry and maybe giving my hand a bit of a wash, I opted to toss the gooey sock on the rug in front of me and continue watching Whale Wars.
About an hour later, I was watching an episode of True Blood. In it, Anna Paquin was completely nude and more importantly, not talking. I felt an involuntary twitch down in my loins.
"Again?" I asked my penis in a tone that I normally reserve for when my dog has to go outside even though I just walked him a couple hours prior.
Taking it out of my boxers, I went to work on another flogging. Halfway through, I again realized that I would need another place to blow my load. I looked at my foot without a sock. Then I looked at my foot with the sock...
After I had finished violating it, I threw that other sock on the floor next to its twin. I thought about rising from the couch to tidy up a little but instead I changed the channel (Sookie Stackhouse is never more annoying than right after you finish spanking it to her nude body).
A couple hours go by when I stumble upon the Food Network. Giada is on. She's making something. It's Italian and saucy. Giada with her beautiful hair, perfect teeth, and tasteful amount of cleavage. Her breasts jiggle in a subtle, nearly imperceptible way when she's chopping artichokes.
"Oh, Giada," I think. "We would make such sweet love. Leave that douchebag, Todd, and run away with me."
"...and remember to make sure the mascarpone is room temperature before using it."
That's when I noticed my rock-hard Tom Jones poking out of the pee flap of my boxers. It was so hard that I swear it was vibrating or something. I got to work immediately on making it go away. As I neared the conclusion, my eyes were darting everywhere, searching for someplace to catch my wad. No use, though. I came all over my Matchbox 20 t-shirt. By now, you've probably figured out that I didn't get up. I just took the jizz drizzled shirt and tossed it with the two socks. Then, I took a nap.
I awoke around 9pm. My girlfriend was home. She asked how my day was.
"Very, very relaxing. I really needed it."
"That's good. I want to take a quick shower and then I'll sit down and tell you how my day was...Uh, why are there clothes crumpled up on the floor?"
"What? Oh, them. Do you mind throwing them in the laundry basket, babe? I'm really comfy right now."
holymoldy11 ยท 866 points ยท Posted at 05:45:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm definitely way too lazy to read all of that.
Spencie-cat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:25:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy; didn't read
simple10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ugh look how long that is, ill just keep scrolling..
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:10:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR - guy jizzed all over his Matchbox 20 T-shirt.
joeyoh9292 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:29:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Saw it was Vargas...
"Nahh."
Calsmokes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:59:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Right tho....
kor3an_j3sus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely a worthwhile read, just sayin...
quipkick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OP wasn't too lazy to write a book in the comment section
Edit : op
Arkzora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR: Guy rubbed a few off, two in his socks, the other all over himself.
eveningbreezes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Worth it, though.
...I may not belong in this thread.
gandalfv31415 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tl:dr cum soaked socks and shirt
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The guy cummed in one sock, was too lazy and set it aside, cummed in his other sock, too lazy and set it aside, then he felt the need to rub another one out, and he had no more receptacles, so he used the 1st sock he cummed it.
AsHighAsTonyTheTiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was basically masturbation
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have been using a screenreader on this entire thread.
kosanovskiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, I'm not even going to bother looking for TL;DR.
Batmans_Cumbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Came in socks and shirt
TarragonSpice ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 05:00:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
shit that's not lazy, that's a regular Tuesday.
Kaeskay ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:20:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
what the fuck its tuesday
Friendship_Errywhere ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:51:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And your penis proceeded to scratch at the door and give you such a look that you couldn't resist letting it out?
ironicallysad ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:31:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh vargas, I only bothered to read that because you wrote it.
Worth it.
tHeSiD ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:16:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why did you throw the items far? You could have kept them at arms reach and reused!
EuropeFreeRadio ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:34:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit. Giada is a cooking show?!? I've never watched it with the sound on.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:03:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:41:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbation.
And not picking up the resulting laundry.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:58:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But masturbation is effort
So is writing that
SonOfTheNorthe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:06:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use one sock for a week. Start from the top and work your way down.
Butt_Plug_Inspector ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:33:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you are a prince among men.
brickmack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:09:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Theres been times Ive been too lazy to masturbate. I want to, but reddit is less effort.
Caravanshaker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:58:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't room temperature mascarpone melt?
StoliFleming ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:36:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was honestly expecting you to wake up to find someone had put on your socks.
satansmight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:28:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm waaay to lazy to read that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:05:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit vargas.
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:11:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
She's had a little bit of something. God, it's better than nothing. In her color portrait world she believed that she had it all.
Jesterhead24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That was beautiful
Mr_Cumbox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:03:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR - Fapped multiple times onto his clothes. Threw clothes into a pile on the floor. Made girlfriend put clothes in the hamper when she got home because he was too comfy to get up.
BCLono ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I expected better from you vargas.
Hubbletron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You never had a girlfriend.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:43:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would hate to be his girlfriend and know that he talks that sexually about other women.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR
The guy cummed in one sock, was too lazy and set it aside, cummed in his other sock, too lazy and set it aside, then he felt the need to rub another one out, and he had no more receptacles, so he used the 1st sock he cummed it.
poo-poo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I see you were too lazy to finish it, he came on his matchbox 20 shirt for his 3rd jizz.
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:04 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, I made something up for comedy. =P (I thought it'd be a better story that way.)
no_sleep_for_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did she comment on the jizz stains/crustiness?
FUTURE-PEACEMAKER ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:29:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cool story , bro .
sexysexytimes99 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:40:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is just no way you have a girlfriend.
GRANDMA_FISTER ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cool story bro. Tl;dr?
monogamousrhinoceros ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:44:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I make food I always put a wrap on the plate first. Then I load up the food. Eat dinner, eat wrap and back in the cupboard goes mr plate
kateykmck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:32 on March 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
You are my fucking hero forever.
[deleted] ยท 1280 points ยท Posted at 01:52:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
HeartBalloon ยท 344 points ยท Posted at 02:17:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Meh
heythisisbrandon ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 02:24:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
doublespeed5 ยท 268 points ยท Posted at 02:43:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
d360jr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:04:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ChampThunderDick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:05:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is possibly the most upvoted nothing ever...
doublespeed5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I try
IVIagicbanana ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:19:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Apexe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Come on guys, don't be Professor Calamit-
ummm....uhhh.h..
Just_like_my_wife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Just_like_my_wife ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:26:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use a > to post a blank comment.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, thanks. ;)
Tuneuponipod ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:50:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Glitch759 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:56:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
TheCatWar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:14:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wzup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just_like_my_wife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god what have I done.
Wzup ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:41:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Doovid97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:07:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
vfyu2 67jh4funsdc YGfw6te72`ieqdgv zybsaDUHJ-8Q09LI
nmdanny2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:34 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
SunshineOceanEyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
DONTROWILLIS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yawn
Jimmy_Iceberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Took me a while to figure out how to up vote you on mobile.
TheGreatSpaces ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:24:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
M
NicolaiOlufsen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:07 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy.
If you would like to do the same, add the browser extension TamperMonkey for Chrome (or GreaseMonkey for Firefox) and add this open source script.
Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.
relevantxkcd-bot ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:19:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant XKCD: #352
Relevancy: 94.12%
How do I work?
Intetsvar123 ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 02:29:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So many times.
moorethanafeeling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I have a really good argument against something, but it's not worth finding the sources so it goes unsaid.
aaaaaaaarrrrrgh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:26:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for bothering to Tab-Return.
ExtremeWays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
WhatTheFhtagn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
K
TheMariachiDingo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:17:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's weird, normally you'd have to say something like Candlejack before you get cu
Cyrecok ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:20:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
dude its just like my li
caryb ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:14:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I see you don't finish anyth.
johnEB0y ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 07:15:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted to play league of legends. I Was too lazy to get up to go to the computer so I watched streams of people playing for 3 hours instead on my phone.
derekd223 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wp
BruleMD ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 04:22:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
watching netflix...I'm laying in my bed, laptop is on my desk about 3 ft away from me....I downloaded a remote app on my phone to control my laptop so I wouldn't have to reach from under the covers to control my laptop.
FireStorm005 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:19:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wireless mouse bro, use it under the covers, then on screen keyboard.
screaminginfidels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just ordered a wireless mouse for this purpose. Now I just need a remote control to turn on my space heater an hour before I get home.
BruleMD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a wireless keyboard with a touch pad but it's currently hooked up to my ps3.
ALLKAPSLIKEMFDOOM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:11:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did a similar thing. I installed XBMC to my computer and configured it to stream everything.
EtherGnat ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:13:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I trained my golden retriever to find and fetch the remote control so I wouldn't have to get off my ass.
rntr200 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is amazing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
he doesn't retrieve gold, but that's almost as good!
AngriestCosmonaut ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 08:16:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't done dishes in a while, so I just ate popcorn out of a fluted baking tin and drank milk out of a measuring cup.
sadface234 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 08:37:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Taxis were all booked up and I didn't fancy the 20 minute walk home. Walked in to Chinese takeaway and ordered food for delivery. They delivered me with it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is pure genius.
[deleted] ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 02:58:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BEyouTH ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 04:38:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I believe... there is an autowalk button... C maybe?
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:46:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i used to grab a corpse and stuff it with a thousand pounds of items then drag it back to town. It was interesting.
zuccah ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:04:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking brilliant.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
it was still slow, but not as slow as walking.
Mobiledobile ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:08:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely an auto walk button. I was a bit irked when I discovered it sixty hours in.
Super_Vegeta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's shift or Alt.
Pachydermus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's q in Fallout, and Morrowind. Dunno about Skyhrim.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Numlock?
craze4ble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's in wow.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And a bunch of open world games.
czechmeight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I might start playing again because of this.
Arkzora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
WOAH WOAH WHAT? I played like 500 hours of that game and you're telling me there was an AUTOWALK button? I call bullshit.
Iziama94 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:51:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's Q actually.. Or is that favourites?
Batmans_Cumbox ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:58:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Fallout 3/NV it is Q.
Im_a_TARDIS_AMA ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:37:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you have a horse and mount up, you can fast travel even when overencumbered.
FireStorm005 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:15:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
also potions.
10000reasons ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:28:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
bem13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:55:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back in DayZ I used to use a fork or a spoon to hold W...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, the worst part of DayZ. You die and are "autorunning" from spawn to the direction of your base. Come back to see you fell off a large rock and your legs are broken, but you're not bleeding. Now you have to plead in chat for someone to come kill/save you.
HanksNeckBeard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I picture you whipping out your shlong and laying it on your keyboard.
Mr_Bartfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I store my loot on corpses and carry them to town
MikeArrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Press Q to auto walk
IO10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use a screw for this.
Level5CatWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is an auto-walk button. With caps-lock on, it becomes an auto-run button.
Always read through the keybindings menu when you get a new game. You'll find all sort of cool stuff.
juel1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No auto walk hot key? I set mine so I can fly places in Warcraft when I need to tab out.
dignam4live ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't played Skyrim in a long time so they may have patched it, but if you the fire button while holding a bow, it would make you walk faster if over encumbered.
Methionine ยท 134 points ยท Posted at 03:24:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My thoughts reading this thread so far:
"Oh I'm so lazy this one time I wrote a script so I didn't need to typ--"
"..."
"..."
"Holy shit I'm not lazy".
jerkenstine ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:50:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lol writing a script is lazy right
Methionine ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:00:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I always thought that a lazy programmer (within reasonable bounds) is a good programmer.
I got sick of typing in the same command line for a series of tasks. So instead I took one day writing a script to do my job for me, and now I come into work, turn on my computer, run my script, then walk away. Before I was sitting there for hours on end typing in command after command.
ThatFag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:34:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What's your job?
SexyCheese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Being Albert Einstein
Kaos_pro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The Three Virtues of a great programmer.
Bananpajen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I write so many scripts for shit I hate doing all the time. I'm not sure if it's lazy or productive...
RottenGrapes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ty... what?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I CAN WRITE PYTHON SCRIPTS, IM SISYPHUS
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 07:08:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"HEY GUISE I CODE GUIS IN VISUAL BASIC"
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:07:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ dude what's wrong with you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:42:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, can you help a layman understand this?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Visual Basic is a coding language that is looked down on by most developers, because they think it's stupid.
I have never touched it, so don't have an opinion(yet).
This guy immediately assumed the OP uses VB, and lost his shit over something extremely trivial.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Youve never seen CSI?
Whats wrong with people these days
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I could ask the same
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just search YT for "code a gui in visual basic"
r_skyward91 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 08:09:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Missed enrollment for classes, skipped entire semester.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:32:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Unplugged my head phones from my computer so I could go get food instead of taking them out of my ears.
Slamma009 ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 04:40:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a programmer... that should be enough
trizzle21 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:05:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once was an intern for ESPN's high school sports division. I was supposed to calculate team times for cross country meets across the country. While all the other interns were using a hand calculator, I wrote a simple script and billed them for the day of work... which I proceeded to waste watching tv. Best. Day. Ever.
Sayfog ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:41:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This, just basic scripting logic can be incredibly helpful for speeding up menial tasks whilst reducing chances of errors.
Varzoth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:24:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
See I'd'd be too busy to code it and just use a calculator errors be dammed.
waffles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's genius, not lazy.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:02:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Compiling?
Staggitarius ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:26:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hardworking me: Hey, what if this happens? We'll have to clean that code up and fix it!
Lazy me: Nah fuck it. If it works, it works. I'll just do that shit when the users asks for it.
Boss will think I'm worth keeping cause I keep churning out 'bug fixes'.
loqi0238 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Should I be looking into your career field?
nipplemuffins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean?
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:54:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Short answer: Programmers are literally trained to seek out the easiest (and hopefully most efficient) way to do things. Intelligent laziness is considered a virtue.
frerrets ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:48:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would explain, but I think I'll just write a script to post this instead.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Programmers usually automatize everything in order to do a less repetitive work.
ianclarksmith ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:47:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nkibler7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:04:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After my freshman year in college, I picked up a small job with a start-up that specialized in providing online curricula to public and private schools. I was hired to move their web content into their newly built content management system. It was pretty much a "copy & paste" job. I asked my boss if she would let me explore easier ways to do this, but she said it wouldn't save much time and it wasn't worth the trouble.
I wrote a program that essentially replaced my job and finished my work in a fraction of the time. I handed it out to the other employees doing the same thing I was.
When she found out what I did, something unexpected happened. She gave me a raise and changed my job to essentially create automatic scripts that replaced a lot of other unnecessary manual jobs.
Moral of the story: if a programmer tells you there is an easier way, there is.
siosilvar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:23 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You can't call yourself a lazy programmer until you make 'c' into 'ssh carbon' (one of our servers).
Celdron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I taught myself programming before college, so I still had to take 100 level CS classes my Freshman year, because I didn't have credit. (In fact my Freshman year I dove directly into AI research with a professor) When it came time to do the final project for that class, I knew that I could make a program twice as good as my classmates in a fraction of the time, so while everybody worked for 2+ hours a day trying to figure out why they kept getting NullPointerExceptions, I would write about 3 or 4 classes in an hour on Sunday nights. Here is the sad part: even though I exerted no effort in actual coding, I lost a ton of points because I was too lazy to comment anything other than class headers and I always "forgot" to fill out the paperwork for the progress reports.
Dr_Atrocious ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 04:11:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had the hardcover version of the Steve Jobs biography sitting on my table, literally four feet away, but I was so comfortable on my couch that I just bought the book again from iBooks and kept reading from my iPhone.
usclone ยท 264 points ยท Posted at 05:38:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are the embodiment of every Apple customer.
W360 ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 05:45:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
He probably read the book and thought "I too can change the world" then proceeded to play candy crush for 87 straight hours.
sicfan9996 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:02:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have 3000 songs on my Itouch, only about 100 of which I payed for. The other 2900 were legally purchased off of iTunes by other people, and I have the "allow multiple computers to access this device" option on. Boom, free payed-for music.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:41:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sicfan9996 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:33:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going in to cash in my warranty soon
xxxyyqqq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yeah but then they wont let you keep all the "legal" music
sicfan9996 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then I'll go to all the computers I went to with the one i have now. They were the ones who put the option in the program.
Swab_Job ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:01:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
All aboard the circle jerk.
marteney1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
....and Steve Jobs' widow wins again....
JordanMcRiddles ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:24:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called Wal Mart asking where I could find the wireless keyboards. I was in Wal Mart.
Tuirrenn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In big box / chain stores like walmart that is often times the fastest way to get customer service.
JeremyR22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you think they have those courtesy phones all over Target stores...
JacobRodneyCohen ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 02:03:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Im a pretty lazy guy so id say its tough to narrow my actions down to just one choice. Couple examples:
I have literally mastered the art of picking things up with my feet.
In high school i used to pay a kid a dollar every day to sneak to the cafeteria and buy me my lunch so i could skip lines come lunchtime.
I could probably think of a couple more examples, but fuck it..
cloveronover ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 02:16:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dexterous toes means never having to bend over to pick things up ever again.
ofeots ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unless... shoes...
cloveronover ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:54:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kick those bad boys off (without untying the laces, of courseโsee previous edict re: not bending over).
MeAndMyMoose ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:08:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend is amazed of my monkey toes. I enjoy picking up random objects with my feet and chucking them across the room at him.
love-from-london ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:25:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Monkey toes master race.
Bree-Rad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:47:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I pick stuff up with my feet all the time. Usually without realizing. I was at my parents house and left my socks in the middle of the floor. Naturally, I walk over and pick them up with my feet and stroll out. My mom laughed her ass off
juel1979 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My husband has the prehensile toes gift. We both cracked up when we first caught our two year old picking stuff up with her feet like he does.
livingmaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:16:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I call my toes "pincher goes" because I can literally grab anything with them. Once grabbed a bottle of beer with them because I was too lazy to roll over and grab it. Having a six pack by my bed is also lazy since the kitchen is ten feet away. I can really do some damage with these toes. I'm like a crab.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hm....is learning a new skill to replace a normal function really lazy though?
craze4ble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's not the effort you put into avoiding doing things. It's the fact that you can avoid it. That's what counts.
livingshangrila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
butt fuck it.
imthemuthaflippin ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:09:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
used a long stick to click all the golden cookies on cookie clicker while lying on a couch
TacoSauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
imthemuthaflippin rhymenocerous
Charlieke001 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:12:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Forgot my lunchbox in my bag for an entire week. Didn't want to deal with the mold created on the leftovers so I just threw my lunchbox away.
JershW ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:22:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just got out of the army in october. I've slept in past 3pm every day since then. The only times I've been awake during the morning or early afternoon is when I pulled an all nighter to 'fix' my sleep cycle. No job or need for one. THIS IS THE BEST I'VE FELT IN 4 YEARS.
Cromesett ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:23:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a roommate that refused to get a cellphone, so he had a landline that he connected to a wireless handset set-up. Him being a giant stoner, he would always leave the handsets in different parts of the house, usually where he wasn't and always causing him to frantically chase down the rings.
One night, the remote was on a chair across the room. There were five of us watching a show that ended and knew the next thing we wanted to watch was on another channel. No one wanted to get up. On the coffee table was my cell-phone. Eternal glory shone down like a beam of light directly from the garden of the gods as I dialed the house #.
It rang. From deep in his room in the back of the house, my roommate asked if the phone was ringing. It rang again and again, each time bringing me one step closer to the answering machine and, for my now scrambling roommate, one step closer to insanity, as six of his friends sat motionless, refusing to answer the phone.
His door opens, he runs down the hall. He was in the shower, his towel wrapped around him and his feet wet, he made it to the chair, smiling and flipping us off for hammering home the reason he should get a cell.
"Hello?"
"Hey! Could you pass me the remote?"
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 11:03:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I made my bed really nicely once. It was too nice to sleep in that night so I put my sleeping bag on top and slept in that instead. For three years.
psybientz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:11:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should either 1. Go to jail or 2. Join the military.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:42:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, maybe later.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:04:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Confirmed. I did this in the Navy. People would get pissed and tell me to roll it up. I was like 'Fuck you, it's made'. There was a comforter underneath, fully made.
bum-off ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:26:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm in bed browsing reddit and I like a post enough to throw it an up vote, if that box comes up to make me sign in, I just close box and carry on with my day. To all those who were due up votes, I'm sorry.
bruce779 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:57:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably too late to this but what the hell.
The laziest thing I've ever done is have a kid because I couldn't be arsed reaching into the bedside drawer for a condom.
sherry1234 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ooooo that laziness had lifelong consequenses! Was it happy?
bruce779 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:07:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Happy enough that I did it 2 more times :D
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:14 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The origin of Squee!
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:51:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Baths>showers anyway!
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:04:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Galphanore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this before, except the knocking it over part. I used to use my toes to change videos on my laptop all the time. Now I just use a remote control app on my phone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did almost the same thing. I dropped my iPod touch and didn't want to get off the chair so I kind of slouched really far down in the chair and grabbed it with my foot to throw it to myself and threw it right at a brick and it cracked.
[deleted] ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 07:46:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Undiagnosed depression
yeebles ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:33:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used my laptop to remote log in to my desktop which sits on the desk at the end of the bed I was sitting on, to turn the volume up.
anchovies_vagina ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:02:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a lighter taped to some string hanging from the roof over my bed, so I didn't have to sit up to have a bong.
paqc2013 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:29:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is going to get buried but I have to anonymously share this disgustingly lazy thing.
I was sick, I was driving to school, I rolled my window halfway down to spit a giant loogie out the window. I missed the outside and spit a big honking yellow thing on the window of my truck. Without even a thought I simply licked it off the window and spit it out again.
After I did it, is when I thought I was the most disgusting human being on the planet.
EggSalad1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:40:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
haha, It was already in your mouth once, no sweat
paqc2013 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:52:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
that was my initial thought, but it was like 30 degrees outside and the window was cold, so in that split second it was on the window, it got cold, and I think that is where the grossness came from.
EggSalad1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:59:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
shudders no i get it now.... the coldness eww
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:55:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:00:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm honestly amazed you never got caught!
chewypablo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:50:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What did he say?
Superschutte ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:04:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah me too. It's not a big secret, I went to Georgia Tech. The year before I enrolled, the rolled out new software to test everyone's computer science work (everyone who went to Georgia Tech had to take CS, including Calvin Johnson, Matt Wieters, and Chris Bosh) and they caught and expelled tons of kids sharing code. How I got away with this, I shall never know!
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:07:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose everyone needs some luck :)
Superschutte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sho' nuff!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What grade did you get on the paper each time?
Superschutte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:09:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't remember. Know I graduated with 2.61, so obviously I am not the best of students.
Honestly, they were slightly edited, bit just enough for plausible deniability. While, maybe not pliable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But no big difference among grades or?
You've gotta remember that.
Superschutte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Naw, nothing stands out. Low b's, high c's I think. At least that was par for the course for me at gt
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:32:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spent more than a week sleeping on my bare mattress because I had already taken the sheets off to be washed, but was too lazy to do laundry.
raptorrage ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 06:28:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Put goldfish crackers on my boobs and tilted my head up slightly to grab one at q time, like a frog catching a fly.
nordpol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:37:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
man boobs or legit ones?
raptorrage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm female
Nixxxy279 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this with popcorn, it's great
Roflitos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, I don't get it.. goldfish between boobies and you tilt your head up? I might be too stupid.. where's the wild sketch Guy when you need him.
raptorrage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tilt my head up and use my tongue to grab one. It's slovenly
Pottski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:20 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You've found a way to make licking boobs seem mediocre and slovenly. That's an amazing effort.
raptorrage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:44 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I clean up well, but when I look like a slob, I look like a fucking slob
Pottski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:25 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's the spirit. No point looking like a 6 anyway when there's nothing on the line for it - either be a 0 or a 10.
raptorrage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:00 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, and then I look really impressive because my baseline is so lazy
daytonatrbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is only fun if you are not a dude.
ECEXCURSION ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:52:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought new clothes because I didn't want to wash mine...
jon6897 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:31:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying down but needed to pee, waited for hours until i couldn't any longer, grabbed a mcdonalds cup and pissed in it, i was in the room connected to the bathroom
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:14:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Attached four straws to each other so I don't have to sit up or lift my head while laying on the couch and drinking my soda.
Had to suck extra hard as nearly nothing comes out this way, but I was determined not to move.
jusmesurfin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:24:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was lying in bed and trying to make a decision about something that happened. Wanted to toss a coin for the decision. Purse was less than 2 ft away but downloaded a free coin toss app on phone instead.
timmo89 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:16:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanked into a condom (to avoid having to clean up)...then realised I would probably wank again very soon, so left the rubber on..
thearticulategrunt ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:33:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In the Army, logistics officer, got handed the keys to an old warehouse and told had 1 week to document and empty it to be handed over empty to another unit. Failure was not an option and there was no extensions of time it got forgot about and was now "his problem". Proceeded to call in a supply sergeant. "Sergeant take a message to be sent to all sub unit commanders. "With budget cuts as they are and budgets being further reduced in every budget cycle of the near future a warehouse of equipment has been made available but must be claimed within four days. Keys in hand at brigade logistics office, first come first served. Must turn in list of items procured. Gentlemen you know how this goes, if we don't use it they will think we don't need it and nothing more is likely to be given to us for quite some time. I await your responses." Sent Sergeant to send email, poured another cup of coffee, it was empty the next morning, documents were handed in of what each unit had grabbed the following afternoon with 5 days to spare. Never had to leave desk or pick up a phone.
Ephemeris ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:28:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lazy or efficient, you decide. I did the dishes in the shower.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should install a garbage disposal in your shower.
promitchuous ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:43:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On the microwave instead of typing in the exact time, I hit the +30 seconds button until I'm close to how long I want to cook my food so I don't have to be bothered to move my hand to different buttons.
Andyishandy ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 05:40:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Piss on the toilet seat and clean the piss with my foot with a sock on
jessticless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:56:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well. At least you cleaned it up
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Andyishandy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:09:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well if I had a good aim then I wouldn't have to worry about any of this. I hate that damn side stream
superjennifer ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:58:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
moving this Saturday and i've only emptied out one bag of trash. i've lived here 5 years. instead of moving stuff i'm having a charity come pick up my furniture & i bought new furniture that i'm having delivered & assembled at my new apartment. Friday night is going to SUCK.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:00:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A buddy of mine will regularly eat Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup right out of the can. He's 42 years old.
K-Fabio ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:40:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought the shawshank redemption for 1$ on pay per view even though i owned it because I didn't want to get up to put the DVD in.
laststandman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wow, that's really damn lazy
Wolfpack53 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fantastic movie I would probably end up doing the same thing.
thebizkit23 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:49:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone remember the Simpson's episode where homer and Mr burns are trapped in a cabin because homer caused an avalanche by banging on a table with his foot while reclined so he can get a can of soda to scoot closer to him?
Well I did this, on a glass coffee table so the tv remote could get closer to my feet, so I can then grab the remote with booth feet and flick it towards my body so I dint have to get up.
Needless to say, I smashed the table, cut my foot and had to clean up a shit ton of glass.... AND still had to get up to get the tv remote which fell on the floor and had the batteries spill out and roll under the couch.
Flightofstairs95 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:11:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Slept in my desk chair because the 5 feet to my bed was too far to walk.
QuadCityCEs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
mine was close to this but i think you beat me
CowGoesMooHoo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:32:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't have any classes yesterday so I stayed in bed. I ended up not eating the whole day because I was to lazy to leave my bed.
UncreativeTeam ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:45:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Slept for 17 hours once in college during finals week. Or rather, I didn't get out of bed for 17 hours because it was winter. Bed was warm, and every time I woke up and looked out the window, it was dark outside. Couldn't tell if my clock meant AM or PM.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Winter...the world could be ending, but dammit my bed is warm
CoolingtonBeans ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:25:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my bed was the same height as my window when i lived with my parents.
why would i get out of bed to pee?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:31:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The army owes me $1500, and to get it all I have to do is fax my orders to them. I've been too lazy to do it for almost 6 months now. I should probably do that tomorrow.
p01chi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Today!
DokiBon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:41 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have you done it yet?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:39 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
........no
DokiBon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:17 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Think of all the stuff you could be buying D8
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:37:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am the epitome of lazy, like I can hardly get myself to crawl out of bed and go to class every day, and even at the end of the day I don't feel like doing anything, even playing Battlefield, which I love to do. I just feel like there's no point in anything, so might as well just not do anything if you can help it you know?
SunshineOceanEyes ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:53:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds more like depression than anything else really.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:17:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I don't feel sad so much as just not wanting to do anything.
AmputeeBall ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:33:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, that's one of the forms of depression.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, that's odd.
Misterbigk ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:30:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Asked my sister for a Doritos loco taco the night before. Wake up when she puts one on my bed roll over go back to sleep. Wake up again roll over see taco, inch my face towards it unwrap with mouth eat it and blow wrapper off my bed roll over and go back to sleep. I Will do almost anything to avoid breaking my blanket cocoons.
JayH1990 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:57:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ow, and sometimes when in LA, I used to lay outside by the pool in the sun and i would purposely not use the sunbeds because when it got too hot i would just roll from my towel over to the pool and drop myself into it like a seal :D then i would move myself out of the pool and roll over to my towel again
mcdermott2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:58:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I lost the TV remote a couple of years back I started using a broom handle to navigate the TV buttons from ~4 - 5 feet away. I did this for months until the remote decided to make a reappearance.
CaptainLongshorts ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:24:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I worry that i'm too lazy but this thread is making me feel like an MMA fighter right now.
Thanks Reddit.
Lebateur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...right?
wskyw ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:39:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
While in college, I'd make my sandwiches inside my fridge rather than have to take out everything and put it all back.
Davadam27 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:20:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Foul Bachelor Frog material
Pottski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:07 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And Bachelorette from the looks of this thread.
tuRkkkay ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:20:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pulled an all nighter to write my 15 page paper, which was worth 50% of my grade for that class.
Forgot to write down my references, so I never turned the paper in and failed that class.. Had a great day of sleeping and watching movies tho
BloodSync ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:16:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Threw a sock at my door trying to close It topkek
TheAgreeableCow ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:33:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a couple of dogs and they sometimes bark a bit at night (at possums etc), as dogs sometimes do. I was getting tired if getting up at night and telling them to be quiet.
So I got one of those door bells that you can record any sound and play it back. I had the button next to my bed and the speaker bit in the backyard next to their kennel. I then recoded my voice saying "Quiet....QUIET! On your mat". Whenever they started barking a simple press of the button would send them quietly back to bed.
faeryjessa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:37:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If our dogs listened when we yelled, I'd totally do this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ron Swanson? Is that you?
JumpinJimRivers ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:54:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last year, when Daylight Savings time started, I never set the clock in my room back. It lasted me that way all the way until Daylight Savings ended again in the Spring.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am doing this now. Can't be bothered, but my wife changed some in the house and I often times get confused. Not too bad though, as I usually go to sleep earlier because I think it's 1 hour later.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:51 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this with my car. The user's manual may as well be in ancient egyptian for all of the digital clocks it tells you how to set...
Revengineerssinger1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:24 on March 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
did this with the clock in my car hahaha
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:09:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was babysitting this kid, but really I was playing Super Mario Bros (because we didn't have a Nintendo at home.) The 5 year old kid kept trying to get my attention and wanted me to play with him. Finally he came up to me and said "I'm playing with matches." I never even took my eyes from the screen and asked "Are you supposed to be playing with matches?" "No." "Then stop it."
For some reason I was never asked to return. Maybe there were little burn matches all over the house. I wouldn't know.
luxoran ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:29:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once
whenandwhereisit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:00:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
taking your socks off to take the garbage out instead of putting on your shoes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you take your socks off? Sounds like to much of a bother.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wet socks?
superpandapear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
it's worse when you step on a snail. crunch..... -_-
silly777999 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:04:06 on December 12, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am so lazy I quit smoking pot so I wouldn't have to find another job.
IUsedToBeARunner ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:54:00 on March 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Moved into a new apartment went to wash the one plate I owned didn't have a sponge so I took off the sock I was wearing and used that...I continued using the sock for at least 3 months until someone came and stayed with me and was so disgusted went to the store and bought me a sponge and soap.
WastingTimebcReddit ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:55:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In undergrad years, I got really into DOTA.
During my final exam period, I didn't study. Spent that time playing DOTA and beer pong instead. I had 2 final exams, both of which I didn't show up to, because I didn't feel like studying and, more importantly, I didn't feel like waking up at 10 am to take them. My semester GPA that term was 0.
ghettosparty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate did this last year, except he was playing minecraft and he didn't bother going to class at all the entire semester.
johntwothreefour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:30:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
did exactly this. (only missed one final though) I got a 2.1 gpa that semester.
CUNT_PUNCHER_9000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:41:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm too cheap to have done that. Shit's expensive, yo.
GrandTyromancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oof
orangemonk ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:32:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think everyone knows what it's like to have an empty bottle/glass of water and there is juuuuuust enough water to hold the bottle/glass completely vertical so one pathetic drop can slide out, and somehow...it satisfies
threecolorless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:56:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know what you're saying.
beltaine ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:09:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Saw this on an old Bachelor Frog.
No clean plates/kitchen too far? Phone book. Tear off the pages when you're done down to the next clean ones. Bam.
kayelem87 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:11:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on the couch... Yelled to my mom asking her to bring me my phone from the other room. Once she did I used it to call her to ask her to turn off the light...
Comradeparker ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:22:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Knew I had to shower and wash my pants that day. Didn't want to get up so I just pissed in them.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:21:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be to lazy to open my water bottles and raise the bottle to my mouth to drink it, so I would chew the plastic on the bottom of the bottle and just lay on the couch. I could leave the bottle near my mouth a squeeze it, sending a small stream into my mouth.
lunder33 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:22:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when i was a kid. play video games for like 15 hours a day, have my mom bring back food, and sleep in the bed 5 feet away, repeat for a month.
JeremyR22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why would your mom enable that shit?
lunder33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
cause im a boss. i turned out okay. worth it. would do again. reccomend
lunder33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this one only for a month one summer by the way
n0rwegian ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:59:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
quit smoking because i was out of cigarettes and seriously could not be bothered walking to the store.
actual, true story.
anoldoldman ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:40:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once ate an apple core instead of getting up and throwing it away.
HuecoJ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:45:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not eating because I didn't want to help clean.
Mannheimd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:43:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Decided one day that getting food was deducting from my gaming time. Put a table by my computer desk with bread, a toaster and several jars of jam. Only moved for bed and work.
jb0356 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:18:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit my pants laying down. Rolled over and grabbed a baby wipe. Wiped. Stuffed poop paper in water bottle. Rolled back over. 5 minutes later repeated the situation thinking it was a fart this time.
In my defense I had dysentery in Afghanistan.
Also regularly rolled on my side and pissed in empty water bottles instead of walking to the piss tubes.
E-Mac ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:57:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was lying on my side in bed, hungover. A very flimsy plastic cup of water was on my night stand. I chewed a hole in the side of the cup rather than sitting up to drink it.
vervurax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You just took the lead.
jwilsonjx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:30:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
An early job I had was as a network technician for a call center that had about 500+ people on the phones at any given time. We were upgrading our switches. I was on the overnight shift and tasked with tracing each port to corresponding user and letting them know I was going to move them over to a new switch. I did about the first 10 or so users this way then decided to just unplug everyone at once and move them over. I immediately started getting calls over the radio that users workstations were having issues. I called back about 5 minutes later and advised I had isolated the issue and that rebooting should resolve the problem... spent the rest of the night playing Warcraft.
f26748 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:49:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This whole thread is just foul bachelor frog.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The memes will come.
stone500 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:26:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just last week, I was hanging out at my mom's, and she asked "What's your waist size for your jeans? Is it 34 or 36?"
"I don't remember."
"Well just look at the tag on the jeans you're wearing."
"I really don't want to get up and look, which means that it's probably 36"
noc007 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:32:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I need caffeine in the mornings. I can't be bothered to pour myself a cup of coffee and add the right mixture of creamer and sugar to get rid of the bitterness. Instead I spend a quarter (company subsidizes) at the soda machine for a Mt. Dew. Because it's winter and cold, I put the can next to my laptop's heatsink to bring the can down to room temperature. I'll even run a program that I know will max out one of the CPU cores just so it generates more heat and cranks up the fan.
MasterAtWork22 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:29:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had an 8 am class in college. I woke up for it, got on the bus, decided not to get off the bus at the stop near my building, and rode the bus back to my apartment, and went back to bed.
xDJQ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:31:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably late to the party but. Eating a Subway Sandwich, I didn't have napkins, so I tore off some bread and used it to wipe mustard off my face, then ate it.
craze4ble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy, that's genius.
Blacky31 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:47:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've probably spent $500 on tupperware over the last few years as I always just throw it away rather than clean it after use.
Buying the disposable stuff was a gamechanger
Perfect_Prefect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:08 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
$500 on tupperware? That's only like 3 bowls and a shake container.
TheWiffler ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:21:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was really little I was falling asleep in my parents bed. My mom caught me picking my nose and yelled at me to clean it up. Instead of standing up an getting a tissue like she had intended, 5 yer old me simply placed the booger back into my nose and closed my eyes again.
q959fm ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:23:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used paper plates and disposable forks, knives, and spoons ... since 2003.
I haven't washed a dish since George W. Bush's first term.
TheeNinja ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:02:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In basic training I used these cloth covered rubberbands that had hooks (used to wrap around your leg then tuck your pants up underneath instead of into your boot) to "secure" my sheet and blanket to my bed. I saved countless amounts of time just waking up and NOT making my bed every morning...until the drill sergeant flipped everyone's bed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
improvise...adapt...overcome
pralineanddick ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:58:07 on March 25, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I was born sleeping.. Parents had a mini freak out because I didn't come out crying like most babies.. Doctors had to give me oxygen to wake up, according to my Dad I opened one eye gave a grunt and fell right back to sleep. I was literally too lazy to stay awake through my own birth.
WalterWhitesDanger ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:14:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Kuwait it was hot and required quite a long walk to go to the latrine. I already had all my clothes off, about to step into the showers (separate from the 'portajohn') when my stomach began to rumble. No one was in the showers with me, so I turned on the water and went for it. I had to mush it down the drain with my sandals. I got out as soon as I could in fear that someone would smell and immediately know who shit in the shower.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when mudbutt hits...mudbutt hits
I'll allow it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
r/wafflestomp would be proud
kgberton ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:37:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fast travelled from Breezehome to Dragonsreach.
daymankarate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got up off the couch after gaming for a while and blacked out because I stood up too soon.
Reddit_SuckLeperCock ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:42:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a couple of weeks holidays from my job a few years ago. Organised my room so I would only have to leave my bed to shit. Had a fridge set up within arms distance of the bed, a couple ounces of weed, TV, internet and games close by, a mountain of snack food and heaps of beer so I could keep loading the fridge, and a large wad of cash for food. Basically I'd order a delivery of fast food (pizza, Chinese, whatever), and my window was at the front of the house so I didn't need to leave the bed. The driver would arrive, I'd wave him over and we'd finish our transaction through the window. So for 2 weeks the only time I'd move was to shit in the bathroom, and occasionally empty the rubbish that accumulated over a fortnight.
spasticpoodle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:14:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tried, I mean REALLY TRIED for a few minutes to use the force to move the tv remote 6 inches closer to my hand, so i could change the channel.
elainedefrey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Didn't eat for 36 hours. Laid on the couch the whole time because I can't function hungry. It became a vicious cycle of being too fatigued to figure out what to eat. I also get so picky and emotionally unstable when I'm hungry, even a little bit, that I get upset trying to figure out what to eat and everything stops sounding good.
I'm realizing people are going to tell me I have depression. This was a one-off occurrence, I eat so many times throughout the day and I can't imagine doing this again. I think I just get tired of having to eat sometimes because I have condition that makes me very nauseated if I eat a normal person's portion, so I have to figure out how to eat very frequently throughout the day to avoid feeling crappy and weak.
sykosammatic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:51:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you should actually talk to a doctor about this, I felt/somtimes still feel this way, turns out i have pcos and pre diabetes. could be a semi serious thing.
elainedefrey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I had to go to a gastroenterologist about it and get an upper endoscopy because they thought it was an ulcer in my case. It's called patulous pylorus and it's a result of the stomach failing to do the proper contractions to push food through. Basically, my stomach didn't completely bounce back after I was really sick with a kidney infection. I didn't realize it was a symptom of either of the things you mention, though. I got bloodwork done at the time, so I hope they didn't miss anything, but I'll make sure to get it checked out if I get any other symptoms. Thanks!
MrGreeves ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:05:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After a night of drinking, I was in bed chugging a gallon of water. i was on one of those raised dorm beds and a buddy was sleeping on the floor. he wanted some water and i didn't wanna get up. The beer funnel was in arms reach though so I lowered the end and poured water down the funnel for him
rprpr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:14:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lost my job in July. Haven't done anything notable since.
pompey_chimes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:49:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My wife wrote this post.
02blood ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:56:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've designed a pulley system so I can turn my lights on and off from my bed.
Stelfury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:10:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have one of those and I don't know what I would do without it.
tattoolegs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:15:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dude and I split up. Found a way out of my lease. Three weeks ago. Still haven't mailed it. Bc I have to go to the post office. I drive by the post office EVERY FUCKING DAY. I'm just too lazy to park? It's gonna make my life hell when the zillion dollar rent I'm supposed to pay at the end of the month, but fuck it right? (I have lawyers on it already. It's not going to affect me.)
TL;DR: fuck parking my car
ruzmafuz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:28:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Home alone for 1 week.
First night I ordered pizza.
The rest of the week I ate all my food out of that same pizza box.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:39:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bigwipeouts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:57:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lol, f'd up.
JayH1990 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:46:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when I was living alone in my apartment in germany for a while i kept a sleeping bag on my sofa in my living room and right next to it food and drink for me, my cat and my dog, so that i could sleep, hang out, work, do my homework, play with my dog and my cat and feed them all just from my sofa while watching Tv. then i just had to go for walks with my dog but i always made sure that i would combine those walks with a trip to the supermarket, taking the trash out etc. I tried to not eat and drink much since i wasnt moving much either, which meant that i also didnt have to get up very often to use the toilet. when i did have to use the toilet i made sure to also brush my teeth or shower etc. to safe myself another trip around the house. only could live that way so long though, then i started to feel unhealthy and had to get on a good diet and work out plan xP plus i got myself a job that couldnt be done from my pc ^
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:05:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the Military and I live on the 3rd floor of the barracks, the smoke pit is all the way downstairs and about 50 feet away from the building. Needless to say I don't smoke much anymore.
acostanation ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have the same problem, except I lived on the first floor and was still too lazy to go outside. Would stuff a towel under the door, open the window, and blow smoke out. When the CQ(Charge of Quarters) would come knocking on doors shouting "WHO'S FUCKING SMOKING?" I wouldn't even open the door, just pretend I wasn't there. Never caught once.
theoman333 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:12:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I masterbated in bed using the shirt I was wearing because there was no tissue nearby.
The_third_view ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:51:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Buy new underwear in order to avoid doing laundry for few days
imanoling ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:51:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend gave me the answer key for a test we were going to have the next day. I was too lazy to memorize it and just failed the test
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:07:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In "high" school, I stole the answer key from math class for EVERY TEST when we had a substitute teacher. Couldn't figure out a way to make it look legit, as I had to show work, so I just failed.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:54:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This seems like a lot of effort actually!
cuntyarsehole ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:54:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wanked in the same room as my mam
Hariato ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:54:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Caught a cab from Mc Donalds to where I was staying three blocks away because it seemed like it was going to rain. The cabbie wasn't happy.
parkerspenguins ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:59:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little, and already in bed, and the lights were still on, I would yell for my mom to come in, I would say "goodnight" and then on her way out, I would say "can you turn out the light?".
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think we must be the same person!
TheKid220 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:22:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had to kayak for a over a kilometer. Me and my partner grabbed hold of a passing boat that pulled us most of the way.
AM1492 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:14:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Using an empty gallon jug of milk to urinate inside of, instead of wasting gallons of potable water to flush it down with. Then I throw it onto my compost pile which consists of numerous scraps of food and leaves. I then use the super rich soil to grow my own weed.
DrMeine ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:39:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once copied and pasted letters from a reddit thread to create a url for a subreddit so I didn't have to move my hands and use the keyboard. That might be the opposite of lazy, but whatever.
erod1223 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:43:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a "staycation" at my sister's place. In short, watched the ultimate spiderman for 9 hours, ended up passing out. When I woke up, I moved to the couch and watched more spiderman until I passed out again. Didn't eat or shower or anything...just laid there and watched spiderman.
BabylonianYoghurt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:05:17 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my first year of uni, I was extremely hungover and couldn't leave my bed on coursework deadline day. So I downloaded an app to my phone to control my laptop from my bed. I then forwarded my coursework to my uni's networked printers, then rang a classmate to pick them up and submit them for me.
Got top marks, never even left my room.
ecatsuj ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:52:46 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to live across the road from a KFC... Needless to say I would get home delivery
MartinnErat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:29 on December 12, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely late to the party here,
In University me and my 2 roommates moved into a Duplex with no dishwasher, as fate would have it the dished began to pile up on the table beside the sink until eventually there were none left. At which point we bought a years supply of paper plates and cutlery and proceeded to dump the dishes into the garbage. RIP.
Chodo_T_Baggins ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:27:32 on February 20, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 11 I took some leftover pie from Thanksgiving into my room and didn't finish it, it then sat in my room for 3 months and I never took the nasty pie in its dish back to the kitchen. One day I was hungry in my room, and didn't feel like going all the way to the kitchen. Then I spotted the pie. It was rock hard and tasted like death. I am not proud of that.
iwilltakebot ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:49:20 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I was in bed and y A/C was on and it was really fucking cold. Instead of getting up and turning it off i just banged my fist against the wall till my mom came and asked me wtf i was doing. I asked her to turn the A/C off. My phone was there but couldnt be fucked unlocking
Timedoutsob ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:47:43 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Who knows what great stories we're missing. The real lazy people probably never answered. And the really lazy people didn't even bother to read it.
Lourdez01 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:31:58 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend called me one day to confess to a self-professed laziness award.
She has two dogs.
One is a shitter.
One is a shit eater.
One day, while in her basement recovering from a hangover doing what hungover people do best: watching reruns of Housewives of Atlanta and eating Funyuns from the confines of her couch, the shitter dog took a big, grunting, I-don't-give-a-fuck shit on the floor.
So she called the shit eating dog into the basement.
Problem socked.
Laziness level: epic.
CovingtonLane ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:02:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Is anyone else seeing this thread as pro life tips?
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe that was my master plan all along!
atomwhales ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:53:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used the leg of my 2 month old daughter to knock the remote off of the coffee table and onto the floor where I tried to get my dog who isn't trained to pick it up and bring it to me all because I didn't want to get up and get it. Ended up watching the Queen Latifah talk show for the first time. It was like being interrogated by feds and shown pictures of mutilated family members for an hour. I finally just gave in and put a magazine over my eyes to try to go to sleep bc I didn't want to get up and turn the light off, it was a T.V. guide and the page I turned to happened to have none other than...you guessed it an ad for milk that had a cow that looked a lot like Queen Latifah.
ocelotpotpie ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:36:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I paid $25 to have someone from TaskRabbit bring me a case of Mountain Dew. This was in downtown Boston.
loqi0238 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:45:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, when you've got disposable income, all you can do is dispose of it.
ocelotpotpie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:52:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I keep telling my four maids.
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do they charge extra for the sex? I'm trying to switch providers and they don't exactly call like Sprint.
ocelotpotpie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:00:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
They charge extra for everything.
PopeJohnPaulII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:14:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god. I live in the Boston area and now I know about TaskRabbit. I (re: someone I pay) is about to get so much shit done around the apartment.
ocelotpotpie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TaskRabbit is awesome. Although I really haven't used it that much other than the case of soda.
I won't lie - part of me did it just to be like "Shit someone's bringing me soda".
Totally worth it. Was cold, too.
A++ WOULD DO AGAIN
nik-nak333 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:54:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Terribly hungover, I pooped while taking a shower and squished it down the drain with my foot.
JeremyR22 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:52:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ye Olde Waffle Stomp.
nik-nak333 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:03:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know that had a name. Now I have to find a way to use that in casual conversation. Maybe even at Thanksgiving dinner.
bb46 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing... absolutely nothing.
arakk2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:56:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was leaving the house once (for reference I park my car in visitors parking area at the end of my neighborhood) and right when I sat in my car my dad calls me telling me to hurry home...he wanted me to give him the liquid paper...it was in the drawer at the table he was sitting at half an arms length away.
superpastaaisle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:56:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not the laziest thing, but I find myself doing this too frequently:
Have time to kill, turn on TV: I love this movie! Oh, sweet, it just started too. Oh, thats right I actually own this movie. Nah, better just watch it on network cable with commercial breaks and all rather than go fetch it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you just described 99% of the times I have watched the Shawshank Redemption
Ibanez7271 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:18:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A bit late here! One time I had a cup that I was spitting sunflower seed shells into. I knocked it over (of course) and instead of going into the closet next to my room and grabbing a vacuum, I cleaned it up by hand. I was so lazy I made an easy fix take 10x as long. High schooler logic.
frerrets ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I will frequently buy gatorade for spitting containers, throwing the whole thing out instead of emptying it. I go through enough sunflower seeds a day that this is problematic for my budget.
Florenciacar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:57:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I arrived early at home from the University, but I knew if my mom realized she'll put me to do a lot of housework, so I just hid until she called me to ask at what time was I planning to arrive and then told her I've been there the hole time studying, she was really mad, but it was worth it cause she did not wanted to talk to me so she didn't order me around either
Khan94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:09:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove to the mailbox
truthink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:24:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when I think of something funny, I grab a pen and write it down. If the pen's too far away, I convince myself that what I thought of ain't that funny. RIP Mitch.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:35:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Several times when I've felt like watching a movie that I own, I've torrented them instead of walking three feet to my DVD shelf.
bennyha1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
guilty as well. lol
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:57:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
seantimberwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me during the Skyrim release I took two weeks off work to play it and lost almost a stone in weight!
Twenty_Grunt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:03:02 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friends and I rarely eat due to extreme laziness because of video games.
juxtaposition21 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:06:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work 3 blocks from home. I drove to work one day. On the way home, I blew all 3 stop signs. I got pulled over in front if my house with half my family out front.
mildly_evil_genius ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:15:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't want to assemble my new ikea desk so I put my computer on the box and called it good.
tessellated_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:43:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wake up, check class attendance policy online, go back to bed.
AMattyMack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:07:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not the only one who does it. (Well, I don't anymore) Calculate exactly how many classes you can miss, how much you don't have to study, how much homework you don't have to do while in college to get an above average grade.
Oh and also, rather be hungry and get hunger headaches than getting up and walking to the cafeteria.
merseybeat64 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:49:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched 'Sarah Palin's Alaska' rather than reaching for the remote that was 3ft away.
JeremyR22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel sorry for the brain cells which laid down their lives for your inertia.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:49:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Quite my job of 2 years cause I didnt want to get up.
PoisonTaffy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:50:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
While yawning I grabbed a glass of water. When the yawn was over, kept my mouth open and poured some water in.
At the moment, taking advantage of the fact that my mouth was already open to get a free sip of water out of it felt both like a stroke of genius and total retardation.
BluePocket ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:51:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once woke up and while sliding on one sock I glanced at the other and thought "Meh". One socked it all day.
catalatlat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:24:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been sleeping on a couch for a few months now because there is stuff on my bed
sophie-cake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:46:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In high school when I wanted to call someone off the cordless home phone, but didn't want to get out of bed, I used to hide my caller ID and call my home number from my mobile phone. I would then put on a different voice and ask to speak to x (my name). Someone would then bring me the phone, thinking it was a call for me.
Bilski1ski ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:04:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is also the most stoner thing I've done. Went to sleep real high Lying on my chest with the pillow under my neck. Realised I was starting to choke but did nothing. No suicidal thought just massive laziness. Turned over panting out of breath
movebitchgetoutdaway ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:30:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You know that 90 second microwaveable rice? Well I just put it in for 88 seconds because it's pretty much the same thing except I don't have to move my finger from the 9 to the 0.
bonjour1703 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:55:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Always when I lay in bed and drink water and it runs over my whole face I just leave it there, since it dries anyway.
RoseBladePhantom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:58:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I skipped daylight savings one year.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:13:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
UPVOTE Button
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
buy yeah. had to log in to type this. so tired. i think ill take a nap
dactylic_hexinverter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:52:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was out a a bar with a few friends sitting in the outdoor section as usual. After about an hour I get hungry but they aren't serving food outside because it rained earlier in the day. I don't want to go inside and get a table because it's beautiful out and i don't want to wait by the bar for my food because it is crowded and loud in there. So I did what any rational person would do, call the bar to order take out and 15 minutes later walk out the side gate around the crowded bar to the front desk, pickup my food and walk back to my table out back. Half an hour later my friends followed suit. That was a delicious burger.
Ambivalent_Assailant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:54:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My story is how it backfired. In high school, hanging out at my friend's house, her mom came in her room with the vacuum and told her she had to vacuum her room. We were too busy being teenage girls to be bothered with such tasks, but we realized that pushing the vacuum along the carpet gave it those "fresh vacuumed carpet lines". Essentially we vacuumed without plugging it in...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:10:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching TV in the living room and wanted to close the door. Instead of leaning over to the left side of the couch, I threw all 4-5 couch cushion in order to close the door.
Hurgurka ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:15:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really late with this one, a few years back I lived above a fried chicken shop with friends. At one point we made an agreement with the owners of the restaurant that we could lower a plastic bucket down with our money and order details, then when it was ready they'd just fill the bucket with chicken and drinks, this went on for over a year, we never actually went into the shop more than once...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I almost never comment on things here, but I felt compelled to a.) Salute you, b.) ask if you wouldn't mind sharing landlord information because I would like to rent this place for far above market value.
VALHALLA
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:17:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i have a computer setup in my living room with a wireless keyboard and mouse. ill often leave the keyboard in my entertainment center and my mouse on the couch. Instead of getting up and grabbing the keyboard, ill open up my internet history and six degrees of kevin bacon my way through imdb until i find a movie i want to watch, copy the title and paste it into netflix.
orionsbelt05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You are a god. I use a wireless setup with my TV as a monitor as well. But I have my livingroom rearranged around this.
Kabukisaurus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:33:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I ordered chinese food to a hotel room but they didn't bring me a spoon to eat my soup with, so I ordered Ice Cream from room service rather than walking down to the lobby to get a spoon from the kitchen or whatever.
hilwil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I ran out of toilet paper, so instead of walking the block to the drug store I called a pizza place and asked them to throw in a roll of toilet paper for an extra two bucks. After a little uncomfortable laughter they agreed. It was awesome.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:44:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laziest thing I've ever done? I'm so lazy that I didn't even do it.
Junoda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
About a month ago now I woke up for class and I was still super tired. In an attempt not to look lazy in front of my parents i drove to school but around halfway there I decided I was way too tired to drive, so I pulled into a parking lot, climbed in the back seat, and took a nap.
About an hour later a bike cop in short-shorts comes up and pounds on my window and asks what I'm doing. Being too tired and lazy to deal with angry cops, I complied with everything they told me, in the hopes that they'd go away faster. Unbeknownst to me, I had weed in my pocket from the night before and was arrested and sent to jail for the night. Laziness can be deadly, kids. Empty your pockets every night, and don't sleep in public places.
whathellsthis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Keep forgetting to turn off xbox and husband complains about it, we have our bed lofted so going up and down ladder is a pain. I taught my dog how to turn it off and told him she just does it out of curiosity.
Esthreel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:05:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching an episode of Simpsons. It was the only file in that folder, so when it ended, the episode just started playing again from the beginning. I was to lazy to go to my PC to stop it, so I just watched it again.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:58:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ever heard of someone cutting a hole in their undies so they wouldn't have to pull them down to take a shit? Yup I haven't done it but my dad had his own special pair of undies... lol xD
joe-ducreux ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:37 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Movember. Only men can create an awareness campaign that actually requires them to do less work.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:22 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Truth.
canuckfanatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:38 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
11,000+ comments and you're still replying to comments. You also don't have any annoying edits in your post. You are a good OP.
canuckfanatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:59 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you properly maintain your mustache. That shit takes work.
Northy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:35:48 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT, I'll often be troubleshooting a PC that I've brought up to my room and instead of swiveling my chair left to work on it I'll just remote into it.
TheDubbiestDubberz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:10:25 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back in highschool I drove a 94 ford f150. Its a ford so something of course was going to go wrong. That something was reverse. I was too poor and too lazy to fix it. My solution was, if i was going anywhere i wasnt sure i was going to be able to park on a hill or pull straight out of i would call up one of my friends to come with me so they could push me backwards out of a parking spot. I never told them thats why i invited them to doctor appointments or a quick trip to the grocery store. If i couldnt find anyone able to ride along i would just have to call the day a wash and do it later.
Toxic842 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:17:29 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once stole a wheelchair from the hospital and convinced my neighbors I couldn't walk so they'd walk my dogs for me.
shadowsog95 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:32:42 on December 3, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I slept through an entire day once. Went to bed around midnight and woke up at 6pm. I decided it wasn't worth the hassle to get up for less than 6 hours so I just rolled over and went beck to sleep
xxTheGoDxx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:15:32 on December 10, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used Windows Xp x64 in Portuguese for nearly a year after I downloaded the wrong ISO and was to lazy to install again. I only speak German or English of course.
kirasaurusrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:05 on March 27, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
did you learn some portuguese?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:41:01 on December 12, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sink full of horrid dishes. My friend is over and we want some water. Dishes are so high we cannot hope to fit a glass between the faucet and dish mountain. Too lazy to cook, so the grease trough for the George Foreman Grill is clean as a whistle. Used it as an aqueduct to pour water into a glass held at the edge of the counter in front of the sink. We were both proud and ashamed of how proud we were.
b31415 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:33:17 on January 20, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
had dirty socks in my shoes but i didn't want to go all the way upstairs and put them in the laundry, so i took them and put them in my brothers shoes, iv'e been doing this ever since and when my brother comes home at the end of the week he finds like six pairs waiting inside his shoes
Vomitdrinkingaddict ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:58:45 on February 14, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
When i was 3 years old i accidentally kicked a bowl of water into the space between radiator and wall in my room. It's still there.
mamamiabell ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:18 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Girl Scout leader here... Meeting in a few minutes and my daughter didn't have the latest award badges/patches affixed to her vest yet. (The horrors! And here I'm the leader of her troop.) It required a hot iron, but that was upstairs, too lazy to go plug in and iron it on... so what's the next best thing? Coffee pot was still hot from making coffee, so I used that to heat up glue on the patches and "iron" on the vest. It stayed on until I could get to it another day... ;)
joeltei ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:29:11 on March 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
searched a song on YouTube for the sake of not opening iTunes
ArturoShaha ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:41:24 on April 6, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
A tumblr user picked 20 of these and posted them to tumblr and it has over 250k notes.
Ryanmcf92 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:43:25 on May 6, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine once downloaded a new torrent of a textbook, because he was too lazy to look through his computer for the original textbook
Bookwormsies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:46:15 on May 10, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I've been too lazy to hang out with any of my friends for the last few years..Even when they offer to come over and just watch movies, I feel like just being around them is too much work.
I also routinely call/text my boyfriend nothing but the word help, just so he will come find me so I can ask him to bring me food/drink. I can't believe I'm not a fat-ass yet. Luckily he thinks this is funny.
Edit; spelling.
j4ux ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:57 on May 11, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
One Christmas my mother told me to turn the tree lights off before I went to bed. The tree was awkwardly stuffed in the corner of the room so I had to crawl under it to turn the lights off. Couldn't be bothered to crawl back out. Slept under the tree.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:43:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My calculator was always in my bag right next to me when I did my math and science homework, but I was too lazy to get it out of my bag, so I did all of the math by hand.
drbuttjob ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 04:01:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
for some reason that seems like the opposite of lazy
Wzup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:43:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you're Asian.
thebinderclip_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:03:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf dude that is a common misconception... Asians can also be fucking lazy, like everyone else
Roseking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:16:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same. Except I also feel smug about it because everyone around me is using theirs.
DudeManBroSloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this. managerial accounting homework was hard at first... but now I have old-timey person math skills
bananasexinabathtub ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:32:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went my whole 7th grade spring break with no shower, never brushed my teeth, and I laid around everyday playing games. I changed my underwear and put on deodorant so at least I did that much.
INeededAnAcc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
SWAXE is basically what you smelt like
bananasexinabathtub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That, and I was jerking it quite a lot at the time so that just made the smell 10x worse. Will never do it again, but I don't regret it one bit.
sweetexasmarty ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:52:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After a long day on two hours of sleep due to the previous long day, I came home and collapsed into bed. I had make-up and the days sweat on my face. Rather than get up and at least wipe down my face, I used a glass of water on the night stand and the edge of my sheet to wipe my face and remove the majority of my make-up. Then I let it stay there for four days until, I had a few days off.
faceoftheinternet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:14:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not lazy honey. Thats tired.
akbens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:11 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You can sleep in your makeup sweat filth. I'll just be on my side with dog in my crotch.
sweetexasmarty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:32 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Let's discuss the laziest thing you've tried to do. About a month into dating, your dog puked in the bed. Your solution to this was to throw a towel over it. We did not throw a towel over it. But the disappointed look on your face when I made you wake up and help change the sheets was one of kind.
akbens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:33 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wife is that you? That's just wrong man. So wrong. I thought we had something.
sweetexasmarty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:17 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We've been married for less than month. I still have for better or for worse immunity.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:46:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 10 I decided to piss in my closet instead of walking to the bathroom.
More so foul bachelor kid?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:23:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dropped an ice cube and just kicked it under the fridge
Arcticflux ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:58:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I layed in bed fapping, then after I finished, I fell asleep instead of cleaning up my belly.
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 02:45:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I fell asleep with a vibrator between my legs and a buttplug still inside of me. To be fair, I'd only gotten an hour and a half of sleep the night before. Aaaah school.
atn9009 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:49:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am laughing so hard because I think you may be my roommate, are you? Emily-is that you? Hhahahahahahahhahhha............. I mean, I am crying I am laughing so hard because this is something that would happen in my household.
stickyleaf ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:22:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Taking a while to respond. Emily confirmed.
atn9009 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:28:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
YES, I KNEW IT.
FuzzyNutters ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 06:16:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Please go on... What have you found your roommate doing? ... ;)
Arcticflux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Alas, I am not alone! Thank You Internet!!!!!!
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
? Do you purposely cum on your stomach. If so, why?
Arcticflux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, as the title of the post foreshadows, I am in fact, too lazy to care : /
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Excellent use of formative indication in that one. I wasn't too lazy to look up synonyms for foreshadow.
Corncake21 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:16:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a good story but i'm not typing it for you bastards.
anyx1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:13:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went to downvote. Stopped to think. Upvoted.
pizzaslayer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:01:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Peed in an empty beer bottle over the side of my bed while hung over.
Superzee97 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:33:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After getting comfy in bed, I yell for my mother saying Ive hurt myself badly. As she sprints into my room, I assure her that Im ok and that since she is here, she should shut off my lights because I dont want to leave bed and walk across the room.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
baconlumps720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma does this. The remote will be on her dresser which is just a couple of feet away and she'll text me to get it for her
esoteric_enigma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt would call her son on the phone line in his room to tell him to come get the remote for her. It would always be o the night stand a short reach from the bed.
azmanz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In the dorms, sent an IM (lol old) to my roommate to tell him to watch what was on TV. He was 12 feet away.
you_seem_angry ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:28:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Said the 13 year old..
Prismine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my roommates laziness reaches new levels of amaze almost constantly. One thing he started doing recently was paying twenty dollars per load to have his laundry washed and folded.
GreyGrayMoralityFan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Accidently dropped remote once. Was to lazy to pick it up and turned off TV by pressing remote button with a toe. Then left remote lying on the floor for several hours.
Philofelinist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have to travel close to two hours on trains and buses to get to uni. Had two one hour classes one day which I skipped and ended up playing card games all day with my friends. I failed attendance on one class. My friends and I were the laziest bunch who hardly ever went to classes. We were like stoners who didn't do weed.
Lono37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
VCR clock, the only one in my college house, was one hour behind for all daylight savings time. Then, suddenly one day it was right again. Yay laziness.
kimbearly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sleep and then go back to sleep when I realized I needed to pee but did not want to get up.
ornangejuice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:21:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've not eaten for 2 days because I didn't want to eat anything that i had the was pre-package or microwave anything. I'm not sure if pissing under my bed when i was little because i didn't want to walk 10 feet to the bathroom might top that
Wheaux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
spit in toilet, missed and hit rim. peed at spit, got it in, pissed on seat.
celieus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laying on the floor as a kid couldn't reach the tv remote that was also on the floor. instead of changing position to reach tv remote i watched cpac(canadian goverment channel) for four hours.
McWeaksauce91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just had a 3 day weekend(work in the hospital, have one every other weekend). I barely left bed all 3 days. This is a regular occurance of my weekends
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was beating it on the couch but left my cum sock on the floor out of reach. I took of my pajamas, held one leg, and kept tossing the other leg over at the sock trying to "fish" it over. By the time I finally got the sock my boner was gone and I had lost interested in masturbating. I continued to watch TV with my pants off.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Peed in a cereal bowl in my room to avoid middle of the night bathroom trip. It sat there for 24 hours before I dumped it out.
LambOfBuddha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To lazy to get off the couch to grab something to eat. I don't think I ate that day.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In high school, many times I waited until the next morning to print my completed assignments "because I was tired". Sometimes I'd e-mail my assignment to myself so I could print it at school the next morning.
Senioritis.
danroccks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to jerk off so I had my girlfriend do it for me.
ITGCYS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:21:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to either unplug headphones or put them in my ears. Decided if the volume wasn't high enough for me to hear the audio from the headphones on the desk, then I didn't want to watch it anyways.
It was.
DirtyTalkinGrimace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:21:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Peed in a bottle..
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:27:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
pee + sink
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:32:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
did we just become best friends?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:36:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yep!
Reasonable_Roger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:34:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Redownloaded a movie because I was too lazy to get out of bed and fetch it from across the room.
Bullsfan27 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Peed in an empty beer can to avoid walking downstairs to the bathroom. I'm mostly ashamed of this.
Aethos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my roomie. We were about to leave the house and I was standing by the doorway, he was still in the kitchen LITERALLY a foot from the light switch. I tell him we best hurry if we wanna make our movie and he nods. I tell him not to forget to turn off the light, and what does he do? He proceeds to walk PAST me just a foot out the door more than me, wave his hand towards the kitchen and murmur.
"You're closer"
waitingawhile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:04:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called my sister from the basement about 30 times to try and get her to bring me a snack. When she eventually just turned off her phone, I realized she had a snack cupboard in the basement, so I ate all her cupcakes.
goyotes78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I've been paying for Dish Network since February even though when I moved I got a new cable provider. I pay $100 a month for a service I don't use because I don't want to deal with packing up the receivers and take them to the post office.
Karolinkaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I got charged on my credit card for a service I don't use...too lazy to call and dispute, I rather just pay the $50
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
just pay one of your friends to do it
willyoubmine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:07:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didnt change my clock for DST. I just left it until the time changed back
Sabresfan747 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:08:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We have two computers right next to each other on an L shaped desk. I used teamviewer to control one so I didn't have to lean over a foot.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:10:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For a serious answer, I have my mother bring me everything I ask for if she's around. Otherwise I won't eat unless I get up to pee.
I need some serious life reform.
Lunatic14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:11:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I built a string to the light switch so I could pull it to turn the lights off while still staying in bed.
WhycantIusetheq ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:11:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downloaded splashtop so I don't have to get out of bed for almost anything. Lots of computers controlling various things around the house.
truthbeitknown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
texted my brother to find out if he was in the house.
FeartheLOB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gone hungry for a day/night because I was too lazy to make hashbrowns or walk literally one block down the street to the mini mart.
awh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Out of clean spoons... out of clean forks... out of clean knives... You can eat ice cream with chopsticks, right?
Maizekorn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:20:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ..
blackhawkdawn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:21:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to fill out the paperwork to apply to med school, instead just went for a PhD with the prof I did my 4th year thesis with. I think that if I did do the paperwork I'd have a good chance.
tysonification ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
theawesomeLAS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:24:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
CD was on a high shelf. Just downloaded the songs instead of grabbing it.
doxlg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:24:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
keep a bottle next to my bed to wee into during the night. This works very well for me now that I sorted out the overflow issues.
Adamantium13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was writing this reply and then
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:29:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Course then you have to cough up that golfball of dried blood the next morning...but sleep is sleep
ThisIsANickname ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to say "not respond to this post" but I fucked that up.
imwayawesome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:40:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not bothering to remember a story about being lazy in a thread about being lazy.
Wait, this has now just happened in the past... And I remember it, and told the story. This should be on that stoner meme! Meh, too lazy.
thehyd3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Not me, but my brother put a metal chair in the shower so he didn't have to stand.
This was when we were both in high school and when people would come over, they would end up in the bathroom somehow and would ask why it was there...I thought it was obvious, what else is a chair for?
EDIT: Thought I should add, he told me used to piss in the shower too. I don't mean when he was already taking a shower. Although I never really saw how that was easier.
Shapmandu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We did this in my dorms in hs. Every stall had a chair. Amenities :)
Kairos27 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I setup a remote desktop control app on my ipad so that I could remotely control my desktop computer, situated just 2metres from my bed, to watch movies, browse the web etc.
Setting it up probably wasn't lazy, but afterwards, the laziness was never ending. :D
awe8bit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Which app are you using?
Kairos27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wyse pocketcloud
plodling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:55:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Using my pyjama shirt that I'm wearing as a tissue... 99% of the time I'm in pyjamas as well so just proves I'm a lazy ass fuck haha. Not proud of what I do though :(
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:58:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, this is something I do constantly. I pick things up from the floor with my feet. They are surprisingly nimble!
shyronnieps102 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:58:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
funderthuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:07:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my roommate. she just laid there, it was very lazy on her end.
MizterFreez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:07:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Woke up, showered, ate and got dressed to go to class. Opened the door to pouring rain...closed it and fired up the Xbox. Felt good man.
that_weird_funny_guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:24:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably when I tried to turn off my light once, I made an "apparatus" by putting a sock onto a really long stick. Took around 15 times, but I did it, felt like a real accomplishment.
Quebecer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:24:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called back the pizza delivery guy, so he could buy me a pint of milk.
Kenedyne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once tied a string to my light switch so I could turn off my lights from my bed. But then it broke, and I'm too lazy to fix it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:32:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I completed about 90 credits to finish up my associates degree (im slow on my GE)... I never filled out the paperwork to actually get an associates
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:33:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would write it, but I'm too lazy.
venusdc3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:36:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
pissing in the bathroom sink when doing my hair and stuff because going in the toilet would require me to move to the right
Moobl4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:37:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Its_3AM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:37:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was born, I literally didn't put any effort into it at all, my parents did all the work and then I cried because they made me breath my own air.
therus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:38:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
danni-claire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:38:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually tried to convince myself that I had telekinetic powers so I could move the tv remote from the coffee table into my hand. It didn't work but I needed to go to the bathroom afterwards from straining so much.
Lawless_Spirit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:49:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
awesome, dude
Boatsnbuds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:39:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Blew off an exam that would have given me a graduation diploma.
aveyg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:49:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It took me about 20 minutes to type this, and it's not even a good comment.
clumsy_engineer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:55:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the days when PCs had tv cards I used to watch TV from my bed on my computer. Before going to sleep I had to get up and turn the computer off (it's noisy you know). So I wrote my first visual basic program that checked if the TV software was still active and if not it shut down the computer
Note : tv card had a remote and you could close the tv software from the remote.
Stelfury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remember getting a tv card for my pc. That shit was hype.
pensaint11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:55:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too hungover to try and find my shoes and then tie them up, so I walked 10 mins to the local Target and bought a pair of thongs.
Was less mentally taxing I guess...
Stelfury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now everyone who only know thongs as female underwear are imagining someone walking around with female underwear on their feet.
tiyx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:00:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Copy/pasted letters with my mouse to do a Google search so that I did not have to sit up and use the keyboard.
Shevacai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The amount of times I've done that. I get sick of propping myself up on my elbow to type, and constantly fuck up what I'm typing, so I just copy and paste.
G3TCRUNK3R ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:04:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didnt read any of the comments in this thread.
frogger2504 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:04:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, my friend. He bought Fable: The Lost Chapters on Steam because he couldn't be bothered getting the disk out from under his bed.
Aetrion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:10:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My boss once yelled at me for scooting my office chair all the way to the Soda machine.
jeffunity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:12:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This whole thread is one big foul bachelor frog
pantsu_pantsu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:13:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Making my bed while still in bed and under the covers. When you're done, you slide/roll out from under the blankets and out onto the floor.
kourilah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:14:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
didn't do the dishes for a week thinking i'd do them over the weekend. weekend comes. didn't feel like doing it so threw them all away.
CD-RR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:16:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ejaculating on myself because I'm to lazy to get tissue or a sock.
Rickyg12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:17:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I laid in bed for an entire Sunday and did nothing but drink beer, smoked my bong, and watch an entire season of the league
HerrGubba ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:24:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i don't open my eyes in the morning, i just turn the lights on then go to the bathroom and take a shower with closed eyes. The burning is just to much.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:51:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of going downstairs to go to the bathroom, I pissed out the window.
Nephophobic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:56:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
By far, wrapping aluminium paper around plates to avoid washing them.
Emmanuell89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:56:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
no go to uni today...just because i felt like it
through_a_ways ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:57:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Doing calculations on paper because I was too lazy to get up and get my calculator.
Doing calculations in my head because I was too lazy to get up and get a paper and pencil.
In retrospect, pretty productive laziness.
nittutt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:57:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Waited 15 minutes for the bus, just to hop off at the next stop (50 meters).
SloppyBitchTittiez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:59:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In the basement there are two 42 inch TVs right next to each other with an Xbox and computer. In front of those TVs there is an old couch that I can't lay on without 30% of my body hanging off. It's not often that I sleep in my own bed because of the fact that the bed is upstairs and there's always Netflix streaming.. and I mean the bedroom is directly upstairs. I would walk like 20 feet and be in my bed.
TL;DR: Instead of going to a comfortable bed upstairs I sleep on the uncomfortable love seat in front of two 42 inch TV screens.
mkjf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:07:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
enrolled an art appreciation (elective subject) instead of Java Solaris because the elective subject was in the same room as my morning class.
swiminthepoole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:14:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stationed overseas and living in a dorm building. Fire alarm went off at 3 AM in the morning. Covered my head with my pillow and went back to sleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this in college. I had a suite dorm. 2 bedrooms, one shared bath.
The fire alarm went off probably every night...so I would just grab my pillow and blanket and sleep in the bathtub. Not sure why, but the firemen never checked the shared bathroom.
Madmudkiip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:15:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Using only my right hand to work my keyboard and mouse because my left hand is holding my head up. I'm also on Reddit in class and have been working on this project for the last month... I could finish it in a day. Taking my sweet time
AmericanSince1639 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:20:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
during a 3 day weekend when my roommate went home, I peed out the window of my dorm instead of using the bathroom across the hall
2localboi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:21:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I watched a whole season of Breaking Bad on Netflix by accident because I couldn't be bothered to get out of bed and switch it off.
Raab13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:22:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Learning to type with my toes so i don't have to pickup my laptop.
tullynipp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:23:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once moved houses to avoid mowing the lawn.
BoulderCat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:26:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My 2 year old daughter thinks it's really cool to retrieve something for Mom and Dad. I was really cold the other day so I asked her to get the extra blanket from my bed. Win-win: I get my blanket and she gets to be helpful.
Pluggedincody ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:26:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lay in bed with a hockey stick next to me so i just can reach over 6 feet to turn off the light/close the door.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:29:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a preschool and I often get the kids to deliver messages to other teachers in the same room, fetch me something or pick things up for me.
krhsg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:31:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lived in a tiny crappy studio apartment (with very very crap internet). Watched Jurassic Park on DVD 3 times because I was too lazy to change it. Got a bit bored of the movie, so when I watched it the fourth time, I changed the language to French (I don't speak French).
To clarify: I watched the same movie four times in a row, once in a language I don't speak, because I was too lazy to walk five feet.
chopasan627 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:33:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Come to this thread at 3AM while I still have 5 pages of an essay to write.
StanlyManly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:35:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to masturbate a lot and not be bothered to get a tissue or something, so I'd sleep in it.
Used to.
nsahaze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:40:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
bassri ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:42:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not thinking about the laziest thing I've ever done
tevsen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:44:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
upvote for everyone who was to lazy to post something.
elkie3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:45:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bread sandwich.
RosieJo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:47:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a pet rabbit when I was a kid... Anyone whose seen rabbit poop will know it consists of tiny dry balls of non-pungent fiber. Being the good rabbit owner that I was the rabbit would have about an hour of exercise every day when I would let it run around the sitting room in the winter. We never succeeded in house-training the little fucker, so when the hour was up I'd pick up all his poop and throw it behind the TV.
Smooth_McDouglette ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:47:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Bachelor Frog stories
partenon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:50:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
QU4Dv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:01:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a month long spanish project due the day of my dad's retirement. I stayed home to go to it and explained to her that I thought it was on saturday (it was on a friday) and that I could present it the next thursday I had her. I ended up getting sick that day and now I have this whole thanksgiving week to do it. I still haven't touched it and I'm just sitting here reading about how lazy you all are.
FortBriggs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:01:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger I had a tv that was shitty. My grandparents didnt allow me to have cable in my room so when I wanted to watch tv I had to fiddle with this wire to get anything to show up much like the antennas tvs had back in the old days.. (This was before the digital switch)
Often times the tv would cut out and get that static screen and I'd go from waching 24 to static. I was often too lazy to get out of bed so I'd sit in my room for hours or sometimes minutes before the tv just turn itself off as it also randomly did that from time to time.
Slutmaster83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:02:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped smoking because I was to lazy to go out and buy a new pack of cigarettes. I live above a store that sells cigarettes.
psybientz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:12:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you weren't very addicted to nicotine.
craycrayforcats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:04:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A little late, but yesterday I didn't feel like going to the bank so I gave my dad $120 and he transferred money from his account into mine.
perkinsmadafaka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:06:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i tried to post in this thr
Detektive7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:07:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the PS2 days I had a stick beside my bed that I could use to reach over and turn the console on with when I woke up...
Marblapas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:28:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger I was to lazy to wear the seatbelt. In order to not make my mother angry, I made a 'click' sound so she would think that I used the seatbelt.
Freeoath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:33:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I lived in my old house my best friend lived downstairs. One day I ordered a pizza from thw couch, when it arrived I called my friend downstairs and asked if he wanted pizza so ofc he came up. Outside my door he met the pizza guy. I asked him to pay cause I had transfered money to him from my phone while watching tv. I did not move from the sofa that whole day
kleini ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:46:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a good story, and would type it here, but ... you know...
Basiritz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:46:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once watched a movie on youtube that I owned on DVD because I didn't want to walk down the hall to get it.
Calsmokes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:54:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used my cellphone to call my little brother who was a floor above me, telling him to come down to the tv room as fast as possible. Upon entry I asked him to hand me the remote on the table just out of arms reach from where I was laying on the couch
NoMamesWei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:59:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Started peeling an orange. When I was done, I noticed it had seeds. So I threw the orange away. Fuck seeds, too much work.
Krotiuz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:59:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes browse reddit on my phone in bed, because getting up to use my computer sounds difficult.
While reddit is open on a screen, and my computer is a metre from my bed.
Also, used reddit on my phone while at my computer which was on reddit, because i couldn't be bothered changing devices between texts...
integris ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:59:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not finishing this sen...
rekag3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:00:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
steamie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:00:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Procastinating tests till the last 30minutes, do a fast study on about 50pages, just enough to pass.
ShiShoSha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:01:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Answering this qu. . . ah fuck it.
cali_grown22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:14:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little late to this party, but in college, I was a resident assistant to my best friend's little sister. My best friend were over and we were really enjoying the fine movie "10 Things I Hate About You". After it was finished, we were already so snuggly in my bed, that we didn't want to get up to shut the door and turn off the light so we could nap. Instead, my friend called her sister and told her to come to the room for something important. She might have rolled her eyes and judged us for what we asked, but she turned off the light and we had a glorious Sunday afternoon nap.
Calsmokes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:16:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Second post on here...... I have left a plant of weed on the string over 2 months past when it was ready..... Now it just looks all dried out
AnAwkwardWhince ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had to piss, bathroom was at least 11 steps away, I was too lazy to get up so I just went right there on the couch. Needed new pants anyway.
JooJoona ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:33:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't done anything.
EggSalad1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:36:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
have been sleeping with no sheets for 2 weeks cus putting them on the bed on my own is EFFORT
ladyknowles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ran out of clean bowls when I wanted cereal so just poured milk in the plastic bag the cereal comes in.
Tobalicious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:38:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once filled an old wallet with pennies and tied a shoelace to it to avoid having to walk up to the TV each time it needed smacking.
LostIttoThePawnShop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:42:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not finishing a senten
Neverfinishes_senten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some people have phobias about...
OneTimeDick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:42:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but when I was a kid my family and I were vacationing in a rented cabin with a screened in porch. After dinner we all were all gathered on the porch to watch the sunset sitting in rocking chairs. My mother had brought out her drink to finish and had placed it on the coffee table in front of her. After a few minuets of silence, she points forward to her beverage, wags her finger and says "get that for me". I was flabbergasted and just sat there in shock /amazement because her finger wasn't more than 3" away from her drink. When my father laughed and asked why she couldn't reach it, her only response was "because I'm on vacation".
nataliazurowski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a friend who did a load of laundry and left it outside on the line to dry. A few days passed and her clothes were still on the line and they began to smell because it rained the night before. She was too lazy to wash her clothes again so she just Febreezed them.
MorbidRampager ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fuwhwbeiejqvegeg
OuchLOLcom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I eat microwaved eggs.
squirtle787 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove to school. No parking spots? Went home.
NeilDeNyeSagan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
My ladder fell off my loft bed so I called in sick.
Parkodin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Learned how to eat with my left hand so i can surf while i eat
revolver_1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once got on a roller coaster in Spain because I wanted to sit down....
Eskimosam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:53:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty late but I have a good one. Some friends and I were getting drunk in Atlantic City and decided to continue the process at a penny slots machine to save money before the real gambling. I took the plastic bag I had from purchasing a 40 oz. wrapped the handle around the pull arm, and proceeded to grab the bag by the bottom so didn't have to raise my arm more then a few inches and could still lean back in the chair.
bcguitar33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:54:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We subscribed to Hulu to watch a show we owned on dvd, to avoid having to go downstairs to get said dvd
Saran_Rapper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fell asleep with tupperware of leftovers resting on my belly, woke up and proceeded to eat them.
clubhi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I never got around to do doing it.
butrosbutrosfunky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I'd set my phone alarm to wake me up in 20 minutes, and then go to sleep in one of the office bathroom cubicles. When we got a server room nearby, it was even better... I could just master key into the room and pass out on a long, deep shelf near the racks. I left a pillow there.
I did this cumulatively, for at least an hour everyday. Not a real morning person. Or a late afternoon one for that matter. Or actually, any time whatsoever.
Colonelwheel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't walked in 18 years.
dawbles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I see what you did there
OliverBludsport ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spent ten years riding bikes, smoking, traveling, and playing with my friends after high school in lieu of pursuing a career. Just now getting started on college.
G0ATLY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a string of yarn tied to my light switch to my bed post.. I have sticky tack and knots around the switch and loops around the bed post.
eazyd69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took a shower and was too lazy to bend down and wash my legs and feet.
ws-wanderer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes sit in the shower because i'm too lazy to stand. Its also kind of relaxing. You should try it.
Hanz_Zolo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:06:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
*not done ... 'cause you're being lazy, right?
ZXRRedditor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:07:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Remotely connected to a laptop I was working on that was sat right next to me because I couldn't be bothered turning 45 degrees and disrupting my current comfy working position.
alapanamo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a piece of food stuck in my teeth, too lazy to find floss, bit/peeled off the edge of my thumbnail and used it as a pick. Bonus: no need to find nail clippers either.
JohnBlankets ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:13:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too lazy to even answer your question.
ThatGreenSolGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:13:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In high school we had summer reading. We got to pick from a list of books to read over the summer then write a report about it within the first week of school. I completely forgot until last minute so I chose a book on the list that I figured the teacher probably hadn't read, The Andromeda Strain. Instead of reading it or using spark notes I happened to catch the first half of the movie on TV. Didn't even bother finishing the movie and then wrote my report based on that making up the last half of the story. Expected a C, got an A+ with notes about the excellent quality of writing. I still like to believe the teacher believes my version of the story is how it really happened.
khoskamr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I lived with my parents their dogs would like to come in and out of my room multiple times in the night. If I shut them out they would scratch at the door until I got up to let them in. I attached a cord to the top of the door and ran it through i bolts around the edge of the celling, to a weight hung within arms reach while I was laying in bed. I attached another equal weight running the opposite direction. So if I lifted up on the weight by my bed, the weight attached to the door would pull it open. To close the door I would pull my weight back down. Worked like a dream.
lauraslocum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
computer runs out of battery, don't plug it in to keep it on, just let it run out, then continue browsing reddit on my phone for hours.
bonecrusher1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downloaded a movie even though i have a dvd version downstairs
Ripl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Lazy and cheap. Froze my ass off for two weeks without a winter jacket because I was too lazy to go buy one. Ordered online instead and didn't want to pay for faster shopping, so I took the free, slow ass shipping.
I work 3 doors away from a coat store.
SaidMail ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was playing Red Faction Guerillla on Xbox. Wanted to change the game to an arcade game (Braid if I remember correctly), which means it's stored on the hard drive, so I don't need to get up and change the disk or anything. All I need to do is press the middle home button and navigate through some menus. I ended up not playing braid because I couldn't be bothered moving my thumb to the middle of the controller
DaDaliLLama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bah I dont think I feel like remembering
dicker911 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My former roommate used to sit on the couch playing video games, with a ceiling light/fan directly above where he was sitting. It had one of those pull strings that came down to turn it on/off and was literally inches out of reach from his slouched position of laziness. I would be in the other room and he'd call me with a serious tone "Hey, can you help me for a sec?". Then I'd come in and he'd ask me to turn the fan on/off.
I'd usually do it because it cracked me up how lazy he was.
Soogoodok248 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:25:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On my phone, if I accidentally hit the upvote or downvote button while trying to get the minimize child comments button, I just tell myself that that person probably deserved it for some reason instead of trying to fix my mistake.
Pastafarian75 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:29:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
While the legwork wasn't lazy, it was an investment. My roommates and I set up a model train set in our living room so we could pass a bowl while laying down on our 3 couches.
Isvara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:29:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downloaded an AV receiver remote app for my phone while I was lying on the couch so that I didn't have to get up and change the input.
_emordnilaP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too drunk to get up but forgot to pee before I went to bed. There was a gallon jug of orange juice about 3/4 finished so I drank the rest and peed in the jug.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At least you did it in the right order.
_emordnilaP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha. Thank God I wasn't that drunk
InZomnia365 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once purchased a game on Steam knowing the disc was in the drawer 10cm from my hands...
Endrowcan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:41:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This fucker had me write a comment for him
Atari_Cat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My Phone Charger runs up to my night stand which is inches from my bed. Instead of rolling over like two feet on my queen bed to plug in my phone, I just laid there. I fell asleep. My Phone Died.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this every Friday night!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently a nanny (shitty job, don't do it) and I'm always making dinner then doing dishes for everyone (five of us). But once it comes to making food for myself, I usually just drive to some place for a bagel because I'm too lazy to make food and do the dishes just for myself.
Bearsandgravy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:54:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Made a system of pulleys consisting of fishing wire and big washers as weights just so I could close the door and not get up from bed. I was a teenager at the time and my mom ALWAYS left my door open.
zorga ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:55:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
downloaded movie that I already had as a DVD which was on the shelf behind the TV
skilachio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:55:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college moved bed into sitting room for a week. It was awesome. Highly recommend it
chartnes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:55:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not wiping.. ever..
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Um. Yuck.
chartnes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
haha just playin
DanzelFossington ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:55:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching T.V. as a kid and the remote was slightly out of my reach. I phoned my mum who was downstairs said "Come up here quick it's an emergency!" She promptly ran up the stairs, with a scared look on her face. I asked her to pass me the remote. She did it.
HesDeadJilm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:56:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
henney22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:56:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
When I was younger my parents owned a multi-family home, but had a furnished basement where I lived. With a bathroom, small work sink/ work room, a second living room thing. This all connected to the hallway just outside the kitchen. One day I came home from football practice completely stoned... it was a great training day hahaha. Any how as expected I got hungry, its important to note that the layout of my down stairs mini apt was living room, two feet from the wall was my room and across was a bathroom which had a small hallway leading about 4 feet into stairs. I got so lazy once my ps2 was turned on, instead of having to go up stairs, grab diner sit there and talk to my family. I ordered a bbq chicken calzone, my youngest brothers favorite calzone. Called the house from my cell and told me brother that if he brought my calzone down he could eat as much as he wanted. Soon I decided to make more lazy and asked him to also turn the tv on. I had forgotten where the remote was. In the end I was so tired/stoned/lazy I fellasleep before my food got there and passed out. My brother got a free calzone and use of my ps2. Slept for 2 days : /
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A basement where you loved eh?
henney22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lived... :/ * facepalm. Though I can say this with some sort of a tear in my eye, there was no living in that basement. Unless you can't JILL...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:56:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paid about $80 for a remote controlled light switch so I wouldn't have to get off my bed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
b2damaxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to copy and paste letters from the current web page in order to type anything instead of using the actual keyboard. There was nothing wrong with the keyboard.
0and18 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kept a pee bottle in two different rooms. If I have to explain what a pee bottle is......
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Howard?
0and18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My Mormon nurses say I should not respond
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:00:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So what happens when that dies?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
iphone app
Jagair23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I jacked off a couple of times and nutted, from the great feeling and the tiredness of choking the chicken.... Never wiped it off me... Woke up with a crusty dick
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ah,,, the "Gentleman's Nap".
simcole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back in college I was in a fraternity that used to party pretty hard. We had a party one friday night and it ended about 2am. Me and another brother were t done drinking yet so we just sat around passing a bottle of Jack Daniels back and forth while watching some action movie on tv. Come 3am we're so drunk we can't move and the movie goes off and turns into some infomercial. I'm laying on the couch and He tells me to grab the remote which is literally 2 inches past the reach of my fingers. If I shifted my weight on the couch or rolled I could grab this thing no problem but I could also fall off the damn thing too since I'm so wasted. I told him I can't reach so he did the only logical thing. He picked up the phone and called his pledge and screamed it was an emergency to come right over. This apartment was like 10 minutes from campus and this bleary eyed pledge walks in panting because he ran up to the apartment expecting some sort of real emergency. In a panic he asks, "what's wrong?" My brother says "Hey hand me the remote". The pledge hands it over and more emphatically repeats, "what's wrong?" My brother looks at him and says, "nothing now" and changes the channel. The poor pledge was dumbfounded and laughed about it the next day.
This was 9 years ago. This pledge and me just went to a concert last month together and had a great time. He remains one of my best friends and we get to laugh about that night every once in a while.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I totallt understand, that level of drunk is hard.
Subhumanoid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a bathroom in my bedroom....and a sink at the foot of my bed....ive passed up going in to the bathroom to piss....passed pissing in the sink....so I pissed in a two liter....just so I did not have to stand up to pee.
420ish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:06:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
scrumtrulecent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:07:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The bulb went out in my bathroom so I would take shits and showers without the light on. I would have to leave the door open so I could somewhat see what I was doing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:07:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The landlord needed to do some work in what was my bedroom, and it was gonna take 2 days.
I moved my mattress into the kitchen between the fridge and the bathroom door. I never moved back into the bedroom, and stayed there for another two months until I moved out.
dan7888 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you win
AlpsStranger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I unlocked my car door using the remote... while I was sitting in the driver's seat.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:09:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I dropped a class because it was raining outside on the first day.
Toastysnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went back to Washington, DC for a visit a few years back and I wasn't prepared for how cold it was (about 25 degrees F) which forced myself and my lady friend to visit the nearest retailer to buy gloves, hats, etc. After looking at dozens of gloves I almost decided on a pair for about $12 on the second floor of the store. I decided to keep looking and the only pair on the bottom floor was for $40. I was tired of shopping and very lazy, bought the expensive pair. Could have walked 20 steps and grabbed the cheap one, nope!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll tell you later.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I
theloyd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just here looking for ideas.
piclemaniscool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:20:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have to extend my arm all the way to reach my nightstand lamp, so I jailbroke my phone to add the torch app.
Randy_Marsh_PhD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
bought a malm from ikea to store my shit. 1 year later, still in the box which is now my nightstand.
ThirtyThreeDog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Leaned back in my chair while browsing Reddit on my computer,and rather than lean forward again to continue,I pulled out my phone to browse on that.
edge2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to wash dishes, too lazy to go out and buy plastic disposable dishes... I fashioned my own out of tin foil, for a year of college.
edit: I should mention I did have dishes that I dirtied at the beginning of this year. 1 year later they went down the residence garbage disposal, unwashed.
SkoveDog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I knew I didn't have clean socks for the next day and didn't feel like doing laundry, so on my way home from work I stopped and bought a package of brand new socks for the week.
bang_Noir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:27:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove past the Chinese place, memorized the number from the sign, ordered my food at a red light and got home before I hung up.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:28:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered McDonald's delivery.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:28:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
drove to the gym did not find parking drove back home
lazymitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:28:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Put mayonnaise on my sandwiches instead of butter because i didn't feel like taking a knife.
HorrorCosmic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took piano lessons from a player piano. What can I say? I lay around like a rug on Valium
xenonxavior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was over six years between when I picked up my passport application and when I sent it in. I had to get a whole new set of pictures taken because the original ones were too far out of date.
beercules88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college I was 2 doors down from the bathroom. On multiple occasions I peed in a bottle in my dorm and threw it out the window instead of walking the 10 feet to the bathroom....
bw1870 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. Tons of shit to do and I stay on the couch doing nothing.
Jaydeybabey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:31:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Left food in a pot long enough to grow mould, didn't want to deal with scraping it out and washing it.. So in the bin it went.
Aapatel2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wrote on my roommates Facebook wall and told him to come to the living room instead of calling out to him in his room.
froznice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:33:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Using a toy light saber to operate my whole room from my bed.
monkeyflyer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, my roommates pushed a living room chair into my room in the hopes that I would put it away since it was in the way of everything. I instead walked on and over that chair each day for the rest of the year.
thane_of_st_college ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I microwave things that need any time plus 30 seconds, I'll just do 33 seconds so I don't have to move my finger down to the 0. Ex, if my soup needs 1:30, I'll press 1:33.
easyjet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've ordered a CD online for next day delivery rather than look for it in the house where I know I already have it.
newspaperBrownie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ran out of toilet paper, but had a large pile of newspapers. I didn't buy toilet paper for over 2 years.
kuyakew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
probably play GTA Online and just watch other players play on the TV
emptywinebottlez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I need to microwave something for 30 seconds...I do it for 33.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reading through these made me realize I need to step up my lazy game. Y'all are geniuses.
Edit: spelling's hard.
wepoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:48:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Best question ever posed by Reddit these are my heros
OiNihilism ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put two slices of cheese between two pieces of bread and put it all in one toaster slot. Grilled cheese.
DeathbyHappy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ran out of Diet Mtn Dew and was feeling sleepy, so I ordered and ate a whole pizza so I could justify having some 2-liters delivered.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend and I take turns taking care of each other when we're hungover. One morning i woke up, not hungover, realizing I didn't want to do anything that day. So I pretended to be hungover as my boyfriend did everything I wanted him to do (cook food, refill my glass, bring me snacks) as I lied on the couch and watched Netflix. At a point, I wanted to skip to the next episode, when I realized the controller was about a foot away from my hand and I didn't want to move. I called him to come change it for me.
ggushea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Connected ten straws together as one "mega straw" so that I could lay down on my couch with my beverage of choice on the floor and still be refreshed.
pandaconda73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've thought about buying aquarium tubing from pet smart and running a line from my dresser to my bed.
awco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday at work, I tried to build a solution (code) that I work on often and I got a single error saying that a reference couldn't be found. So I just reddited all day
sillypiggy555 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:53:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was driving home from school after just have a very lazy day. I got to the front of house to park when it started to rain. So insted of going into the house feet away I slept in my car all night then woke up and went back to school. It was 6 o'clock when it started to rain.
YetiGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:53:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
MzDemonKitty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have two. I have used a cat as a napkin on more than one occasion. And once I decided to go to sleep on the couch because I was too lazy to get up and go to bed.
all_hail_cthulhu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in High School, my best friend and I rearranged his entire room, so that we would never have to move to do anything we wanted to do. We set up his couch, his tv, his ps2, his radio within reaching distance of this black pole we called "The lazy pole." We spent an entire winter doing nothing but smoking bowls and playing San Andreas without ever having to move from the couch.
We also would take our shoes off and throw them at the light switch to turn the light off.
thebryguy23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Today's (Nov 26, 2013) Dilbert seems oddly appropriate
Rectal_Imploder_3000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This might not be on the correct lazy-scale, but rarely cook my own food and when I do I've got paper plates which I eat off of just to avoid dishes.
queen_of_the_koopas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:16:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm assuming you're looking for something more prolific than "nothing"?
I'm a mother. I don't know how many times I've made my kids bring me stuff. HAHA when they're little, they're extremely happy to help, and you just tell them what a good job they did, and feel like they're on top of the world the rest of the day. Kids are pretty awesome sometimes. <3
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:16:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went into a pizzeria, ordered a pizza and asked for it to be delivered. Argued with the dude, gave him an address, and then took the bus.
Arrived at my destination at the same time as the pizza dude. To his puzzled look I answered I didn't want to carry the pizza myself.
millerfan58 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Read this entire thread instead of studying.
Insert_Whiskey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I knew that my roommate had left the living room TV remote upstairs in the hall.
I chose instead to duct-tape a broom handle to a yardstick to a pencil so i could lay on the couch and change channels. None of those items required me to walk up the stairs....
do_you_like_cake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I packed dirty dishes when I moved from one apartment to another.
ClaudioAlbertin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:26:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I was too lazy to put down a pen. So I just went on holding it for another hour.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:27:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I peed out my window as a kid because I didn't want to go to the bathroom maybe 30 feet away.
escapelogic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Think of all of the people who are so meta they didn't even bother to post.
LoyalT90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I watched Pretty Woman twice on TBS, back-to-back, during college. After the first one ended, I noticed the remote was up on the TV stand and I was six feet away on the couch.
justatwinkle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On more than a few occasions, I have bought packs of underwear and socks because I didn't feel like doing laundry.
Imissyourgirlfriend2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Laziness is the mother of invention.
mguibs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Im too lazy to play video games that i just end up surfing the net and watching vods
ichosethis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was lying in bed redditing when my cat decided to get between me and my phone. Rather than move the cat or adjust my phone to one side, I dropped it and took a nap.
midnightauto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hate using an iPad as I'm too lazy to use both hands. With my laptop I all I need is one finger and I don't have to hold it.
EthanL1612 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Xbox, on." "Xbox, go to Netflix." "Select profile two." "Xbox, select one." 6 hour It's Always Sunny marathon after a long night at work.
mistahveeg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
stayed unemployed for 5 months while using most of my money to order food and drugs to my house and not really leaving my living room or bathroom. gained about 96 lbs and prestiged 10 times.
superbeef3way ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was really hungry so I decided to order delivery. When they got to my house I didn't even finish my story.
Ambushh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
XBOX ON
ponchoskunk420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my college roommate just put a sleeping bag on a mattress and that was what he slept in every night
calypso_jargon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Automated myself out of a job, never told anyone and now I sit back, relax, and read reddit all day. Oh and I sometimes will go days without eating because I'm too lazy to go to the shop and buy something.
0ttr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
allowed nearly an entire year of unopened mail to pile up on my dresser... I don't know why.
Snarkysandwiches ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:40:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter just texted me a screencap of this post, saying "There are so many things I want to post here. Us texting and calling eachother within the house, D and I sleeping uncomfortably close because we didn't want to unfold the futon, you watching Netflix on your phone while laying in front of the tv because you don't want to get the remote- and I'm too lazy to type out a long comment. The irony. "
I'd post a screencap of her screencap, but I'm too lazy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
New puppy likes to jump off bed for a walk right before I go to sleep every night. Solution: I started keeping a cage by the bed and locking her in it when she jumps off so I can sleep.
wd40fragrance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hit my knee on a bed post and too lazy to roll all over the ground in pain, so I just blocked the pain out of my mind and laid on the floor.
SmellyEvil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to take my phone out of my pocket to answer a text. No big deal, log on to Google Play store via laptop, install Mighty Text on my phone from my laptop, install the program on my laptop, text people from my browser.
nitsujle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine texted me to pass him the chips when we were maybe 10 feet from each other, the chips in the middle.
captainmagictrousers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Girlfriend (shouting from the next room): Hey, Captain, can you bring me my cell phone?
Me: Get it yourself.
Girlfriend: I'll flash you!
Me: Nah, I'm good. I've got pictures.
Girlfriend: Are you talking about the pics on my phone? Is my phone actually in your hand right now?
Me: (Puts phone down) ...No.
In my defense, the pics were really good, and the floor was cold.
drelos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I mopped the floor with the kitten when a few waterdrops felt while watering the plants [I did it because she enjoys being dragged around the floor]
RogueBeast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In 10th grade, I didn't know what classes to sign up for the next year, so I just picked AP Chemistry and figured I would decide what I actually wanted over the summer. I kept putting it off until July 20th, the very last day I had to change my classes. I suddenly realized it was my last day to drop chemistry, but I'd didn't feel like getting out of bed. I took an entire year of AP Chem because I was too lazy to get out of bed one day in the summer.
I got a D in the class and a 1 on the AP exam. Was not worth it.
sharterthanlife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a cactus once
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:40 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lazy is plant kryptonite
likemindead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Print a blank "document" when I need a piece of paper to write on rather than open the tray or reach into my desk for one. Printer is within reach, of course.
SarcasticHashtag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Askreddit with the most upvotes is about the laziest thing you have ever done. Checks out.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I figured out the system
Xxtastyxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My SO was too lazy to walk to toilet so he pee'd in a coke can, I had a can the next morning put it down and when I went back to it I mistaked it for his pee. :-(
chocolatethun-da ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my sister who recently broke her foot to get me the remote on the table a good 4 feet away from me.
ChristinaPerryWinkle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I read all of the posts on here twice now.
BebopVox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gaming for 13hrs. Bathroom 10 feet away. Still peed in an empty glass on the table instead of getting up.
NepoEgassap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took a government job
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I moved into my first apartment, I didn't have any sheets.
I slept in a sleeping back on my california king for 6 months
conduit_seller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I slept with my head on a bath towel folded in half for two years because I was too lazy/kept forgetting to go buy a pillow.
comradcookie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time i was in my bed and i didn't want to get up to turn off the light.. so i shot it with an air soft gun that was on my nightstand. I didn't clean the glass until the next morning
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When my hdmi fucks up and the image becomes black when i play my ps3 and im comfy in my bed I just throw the nearest thing on the cord until the image comes back. Anything from t shifts ,pens or books. When i have nothing near me , i just lay there.... waiting for a miracle to happen
tigerstorms ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
after getting in bed I forgot to turn my computer off, so I logged in to it remotely with my phone and shut it off from there. I've done the same with the TV when I can't find the remote I load up the app and just change channels from the phone as well. My smart phone has made me even more lazy.
nick908 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Losing 5 pounds because I didn't want to get up to eat, calling my sister in to give me the remote that's 2 feet away, laying in the dark without any entertainment because my phone is on the other side of my night stand near the remote. Not eating because the kitchen is too far..again. This is why I'm skinny and have a shit ton of garbage under my bed
mstrblueskys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been eating cold leftovers for about 8 months because the microwave is unplugged.
Vorocious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sitting at my computer desk, with my computer on, with google chrome open. But yet I'm still reading this thread on my phone...
Gunnilingus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is almost a non sequitur, since the top 10 laziest things I've "done" are all things that I didn't do.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reading all these answers and can relate to most of them. Conclusion: I am a lazy person.
larkspark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was hungry one day, and sitting on the sofa in the living room with my laptop. The sofa is situated within a long arm's reach of the front door, so rather than get up and fix something to eat in the kitchen, I ordered pizza on my laptop. Delivery guy comes by and and I holler to come in, tell him to set the pizza on the coffee table in front of me, sign, ask him to close the door on his way out. I couldn't be bothered with getting up and walking 10 feet; I had to keep watching The Walking Dead.
Yeah, it's not creative, but the most truly lazy actions are not demanding of either body or brain.
Also, I'm a sack of shit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to go to sleep and my door was open (which I hate) and I didn't feel like getting up. I realized my brother was sleeping in the next room over so I grabbed the nerf gun that was sitting on my nightstand. I had a little trophy that I got for something I can't remember that was sitting in a shelf. It wasn't important to me so I shot it so that it would fall to the floor and break. It was loud enough to wake my brother up and get him to come in my room, he closed my door.
ImJustLazy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After reading this thread, i don
exoromeo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
rhondapiper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When my back was injured and I had trouble moving for a few months, I trained my dog to bring me whatever I pointed to.
When my back was better and I just didn't feel like moving for a few years, I continued to have my dog bring me whatever I pointed to.
I have a new dog now who is lazier than me and lazier than this thread and won't bring me anything, ever.
0311 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to hold my cum in by squeezing my dick when I jerked off if I didn't have anything nearby to clean with. Then I would waddle to the bathroom and shoot it in the toilet.
I quit when I started cumming blood.
TylerL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My smartphone's asshole 5:30am alarm went off, but it wasn't next to my bed like it normally is. I didn't want to get up to snooze it.
So I grabbed my laptop (which WAS right next to the bed), and ran a Remote Wipe command for the phone.
Shut that fucker right up.
dontaskaboutmydolphn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever my family wants to get stuff to one another, we attach it to our dog and tell him to go find the other person.
Bukowskaii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a data entry position in college and instead of entering everything in manually, I wrote a script that would do it for me. I had the highest quotas and barely did anything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You should have gotten a promotion.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was up typing a paper and about halfway through I had to piss so I go to the bathroom. On my way back to my room I trip over the leg of a table, fall on the floor and notice how comfy it is so I jut fell asleep right there.
OutdoorFreshScent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but I was involved. I was sitting on my bed talking to my sister who was sitting on hers. Suddenly she says, "Oh my god, get up for a second!" thinking there was something wrong, I jumped off the bed. Then she asked me to pick up a piece of paper she had dropped on the floor.
yoiee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This pretty much sums it up. http://imgur.com/h7673mI
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for taking time to post a picture
jasrenn2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After a day of riding at the mountain and a night of heavy drinking, I slept in my car in a sleeping bag with a friend doing same in the passenger seat. Woke up had breakfast of granola bars and proceeded to drive around and visit with other friends (that were also car camping but had gotten out of theirs cars by then and were making breakfast on a camp stove). Scored some pancakes and eggs. Made hour trip to drop friend off and then the 2 hour drive home. Got some drive through and took a nap in the driveway all while still in my sleeping bag. Somewhere in there I peed in a bottle.
plobiwan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
was too lazy to do monthly journals (paragraph length) for a class, did them all in one day, told the professor my email was broken. it worked.
cthslax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Left the leftover pizza in the garage cause the garage was as cold as the fridge when the heater was turned off. Ate cold pizza the next day cause the microwave was inside.
Also once slept in a sleeping bag on the couch in the garage cause my bed was inside. Garage is ten feet from the house and my room was ten feet from the door to the house
Fucking_For_Freedom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid I would get paid $20 a week to mow the lawn. I paid my friend $10 to mow it for me and pocketed the rest.
musclenugget92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Outsourcing at it's finest
ritchie70 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know this isn't what you're looking for at all, but I don't care.
I write a shell script (small computer program) for almost any task at work that I'm going to have to do more than three times. I can't stand repetition and I can't remember complicated steps well.
So many people just plow through and do the same complicated manual thing over and over and I just don't understand why. I also wonder if they understand that 90% of what they do in their day can be replaced by a small shell script. That's not a good position to be in.
gingercunt101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
me and my roommate at school were watching at tv show on netflix, on a laptop that was situated on a desk in-between our two beds. the show stopped, netflix asked if we were still watching and instead of one of us moving to the end of our respective beds without having to get out of bed to click a button we both just took a nap
Paultimate79 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT Laziness is the true mother of invention
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
while working on a psychology project earlier in the semester, I had to make a survey and get at least 5 or 10 people to do it. After my group and I had made the survey, I was too lazy to even post it on my facebook/tumblr/etc. so I decided to type up a quick email to some guy who runs a soccer blog, asked him to put it up for a day or two, and ended up getting about 300 responses.
Evinored ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my best bud recently moved out to stay at his dads and decided to keep all of his furniture including a microwave. A microwave that he put under his bed to warm up his food.
Goddamn genius
jabrodi1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when i walk my dog at night in my yard, as he relieves himself , i do the same
AdonisChrist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
who picks up your shit?
suchdownvotes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but I watched my friend drop his Gatorade and say "I'll give you a dollar if you pick that up for me" to me. Better yet, the football coach was right behind us. Needless to say I almost died of laughter.
JackTurkeyDinosaur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:47 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once texted my friend to come to my lecture at college because there was an assignment he missed (he was on the same course, but catching up on previous work in the LRC) so that I could get him to put my empty can in the bin. He had to walk to a different campus over 3 miles away. In the rain. So I didn't have to walk 5 feet to a bin.
mrlucky2u ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:34 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I....nevermind.
BLineDisaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:18 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was at university, my friend lived literally across the street from the best takeaway place in town. We used to call them and place our order for home delivery whilst waving to them through our window. They'd cross the street and deliver to us.
Co-creator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:18 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spent a good 10 minutes talking to my dog praying it dog and would understand english in hopes it would eventually find a way to unlock the door for me, spare key was near the back porch.
Co-creator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:10 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I have no clean spoons or bowls, either grab a mixing bowl and a teaspoon measuring spoon thing, or just put dry cereal in my mouth, pour a little milk in, and repeat until I've consumed about a bowls worth.
kidtkd73 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:44 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my friends computer are about 5 feet away in the same room. Instead of us turning around to look at something we have on the screen we will link it through skype and open it on our own computers so we dont have to turn the chairs. This has been happening for 3 years now and still going strong
nonpracticing_jedi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:23 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know this is late but it involves a fatality.
My buddy Sam is a lazy motherfucker. This is my favorite.
Sam has to spend the night in some groom's little brother's room because he's in the wedding the next day. The kid is a teenager but still with his small bed and his two pet ferrets which for some reason have to spend the night in the room in a cage.
Sam stumbles to the bedroom late and a bit drunk and climbs into bed. He's notorious for being able to sleep soundly pretty much anywhere so he falls immediately to sleep. The ferrets begin burrowing into the corner of their metal cage and somehow this wakes Sam up. He remembers that the brother said he could let them out of the cage if they do that and they won't poop or anything. With what feels like the last ounce of strength, Sam stretches out of the bed and unlatches the cage. He falls asleep to the quiet of escaping ferrets.
Until, his red eyes snap awake an hour later with the ferrets scratching at the door. He's got that shouldn't-be-awake-from-drinking headache and is teetering on nausea with every claw. He fumbles for something to throw at the door and his hand falls on a baseball mitt and baseball.
Sam lobs the mitt high at the door. The thud shakes the bedroom door scaring the ferrets under the bed and into blissful silence.
Until, his red eyes snap awake an hour later with the ferrets at it again at the bedroom door. Why the fuck are they trying to get out? No one said anything about this. Please, just go back to your cages. Sam is a loving father and a genuinely good person. Ask anyone and they'll tell you.
His hand falls on the baseball which he slings at the door with way more force than the first throw. The thinking behind this was that if a little noise gave him a little bit of quiet then a loud noise should give him more quiet. But the noise he heard didn't sound the way he thought it would.
Either way he fell asleep.
He woke to morning sun and a stiff back. His eyes fell on the open cage and he wondered what happened to the ferrets. One of them was in its cage. The other one was dead at the foot of the door. Killed by a baseball. Sam had to go thank the family for their hospitality but instead of getting to tell jokes about the burrowing ferrets over Oh's he had to inform them that he had killed it with the kid's own baseball.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is just horrible.
PhallogicalScholar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:28 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Torrented a movie because I was too lazy to put my DVD in the tray. The DVD was within arm's reach.
canuckfanatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How fast is your download speed? Depending the movie, I'd have to wait 30-60 minutes for it to download
PhallogicalScholar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:13 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It took well over an hour.
canuckfanatic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:16 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dedication.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:04 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Needed beer and decided to use the drive thru. Never do, but I did this time. I asked the clerk for a 30 pack of bud light this poor old lady came hobbling up to the window and could barely lift it to the window. Once she finally go it there without throwing out her back, she couldn't fit it thru the window easily. Tried multiple different angles and eventually achieved the delivery of alcohol. I've never used another drive thru liquor store.
MonkeyDDragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:04 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You had to sign up for the bus to take it home each day. I was too lazy to find and fill out the form.
So I walked home each day, longer and through any weather, instead.
I still ask why.
Blossom216 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:43:43 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. A lot of you guys take laziness to the extremes, and I have to say, some of them are pretty impressive.
This post should be the place for an elite group for the laziest of the lazy called the League of Laziness (LoL for short)
Rawschach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:51:15 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much some common thing, most computer addicts will know:
Sitting in front of my computer, want to install some game (I believe it was KOTOR 2) and struggeling to stand up and grab it from the shelf above my desk. Long story short, i started to download - forgot about the download - gone sleep.
andespeciallythat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:01 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This guy is my alter ego
impoverishedflour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:31 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So like most other undergrads, I hated actually doing assigned readings. Especially for classes where the prof wrote his own book. So I'd read the introduction and the last chapter, then pick a page at random in the middle and read that subheading. You can fake a lot of actual work and diligence with the right kind of lazy.
While this definitely isn't the pinnacle of overall laziness, for me it's the laziness that kept on giving.
cjthelesser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:49:27 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Signed up for a gym membership this past March (more or less 9 months ago) through their online form to hopefully get some exercise done, but not once have a stepped through the gym's doors... Not to mention I've been paying the monthly fee of $22 because I'm too lazy to go to the place and cancel it. Oh and did I mention the gym is three blocks away from my house and right next to my job?
Dormers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:01 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wish this was a lie because I told my friend this the other day and he wouldn't stop taking the piss. When I was about 6 or 7 if I wanted to get off the toilet quicker after taking a dump I'd stick my rub my finger on my asshole and if there was shit I'd wipe it on the wall & if there wasn't, freedom!
I always cringe now looking back at my dad having to explain to me it was unacceptable.
insayan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:32 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday my mom called my phone 20 minutes after I told her I was going to nap because I had a terrible week with little to no sleep and she knew this. The reason of her call was because she was downstairs too busy chatting with men on a dating site and needed cigarettes from a store 2 minutes walking from where we live and asked me to get them. Yes she's that lazy
NoUploadsEver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:42 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Decided to stay at my apartment near campus for the summer to do summer classes (contract was full year, so I had to pay rent for it if I was there or not).
Never signed up for classes. Lost 20 pounds from starving myself being to lazy to do a 15 minute bike ride for food.
It all ended when my deteriorating health and hygiene caused me to develop a cyst. A really large and painful cyst, 50% of my back turned red from the inflammation. I ended up calling my Mom for the first time in weeks to get help and get home.
Man, depression sucks.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:52 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always think of long comments that would take to long to type so I don't
GunRaptor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:39 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had no clean dishes, no microwavable food, and it was too cold to walk or drive to a restaurant (this also would have required pants).
Instead, I ate a cold MRE ( Meal, Ready-to-Eat, military instant food that tastes like shit and can be bought by anyone for $7 USD) instead, skipping the heater packet because it would have required the work of turning on the faucet.
I regret nothing.
drwho0o ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:56 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Super late to the party but currently I have had over a month to do a 5 page essay thats due in 3 1/2 hours im on page 2 and dont intend on moving to the computer anytime soon. In a year alone I racked up over $1000 usd in parking tickets because I was too lazy to park on the right side of the road or pay my tickets in a timely matter. I bought a beater car for winter 3 months ago, it had a flat and I have new tires, the car has been driven once and jacked up for 3 months now. I now have a parking lot and continue to get tickets because im too lazy to park my car I shouldnt even be driving... my phone doesnt get charged because my arm is too short or im too tired to roll over and grab the charger. I keep my fridge at freezing temps so I dont have to throw garbage away and food doesnt go bad. I need to reevaluate what im doing with my life..
SNJBum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:49 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't have netflix on my computer's most viewed tabs for some reason but reddit was, so I searched for half an hour on reddit for the word netflix so I could copy and paste it into the url because I didn't want to walk five feet accross my room and grab my keyboard.
CountFapula69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:45 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Ways to improve the efficiency of your life.
krystoph-j ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:59 on December 3, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had Super Street Fighter 4 for the PS3, and one afternoon I couldn't be assed to play, so I just watched a run through of it instead on youtube.
BoBab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:47 on December 3, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was a bit too stoney one night and wanted to talk to one of my roommates. She was in her room though and I didn't want to yell or leave my computer chair...so I proceeded to go back on her facebook timeline months ago and like random things she had posted. It got to the point where she came in my room to ask me what the hell I was doing. I told her I just had a question for her and didn't feel like getting up. She was not amused.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:59 on December 8, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had this friend and one day in 5th grade she told me that she thought she liked girls, but she was too lazy to think that one through and talk to her parents about it so she just forgot about it. And then one day in 9th grade she ended up flirting with this other girl and she realized she was attracted to her and then she was just like oh sh-
gayn6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:58 on December 14, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i am ao many years late but i was reading this on my phone and it accidently went all the way up and im too lazy to scroll down.
RiotShieldG ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:49:33 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, it always seems to happen when I'm more than halfway through the entire thread. Then I'm like "Fuck it. I didn't wanna read the rest anyways." And go to a different one.
Not_Big ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:28 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I got to your comment and it's inspired me to abandon this thread
fafnir665 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:46 on December 14, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Our toilet wouldn't handle shit so we had plastic bags we would shit in to avoid having to plunge the toilet.
DislocatedBoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:58 on December 16, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:04:06 on December 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took a shit in the shower.
LyrxWithAWhy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:36:42 on December 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called and took a cab directly across the street because it was cold out. Like, directly across the street.
Crook_Lid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:27 on January 5, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
In my year 9 math exam, the last question was a problem solving question that involved a bit of explaining. Half way through I realised I was wrong, so I wrote, "and the people on the safe side of the bridge went and got help for those that were on the dangerous side." Got a merit. Also for year 10 Religious Education, I didn't study, and come exam time, there were a few questions I could have easily answered, but they would have taken an excrutiating 2 minutes out of the 2 hours I had. I just skipped them. Sacraficed an exillence just so I could get an extra 4 minutes sleep. Still got a high merit though!
Curry247 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:04 on January 21, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
This is pretty late, and not me, but last semester, my English teacher decided to not count a huge research project to our final grade, because she didn't feel like grading it. She said "they looked really bad, and they would only hurt your grade anyway".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:41 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
So late but I once did something really lazy.
I can't be bothered to write it tho.
ThatGuyGio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:46 on April 8, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Oh the iron-e
katya_z ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:50 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Ok so I know this is super late and it wasn't me, but one of my teachers told us a story in economics class to highlight the importance of efficiency in production. He used to work in a lawnmower factory. One day, he had the job of making some parts where you have to hold the part to a grinding wheel thing to shape the end. Doing this by hand took a long time and the pieces were not uniform or smooth. Also, his arm was starting to get sore from the repetitive motion of picking up the part then holding it to the grinding thing then putting it in the "finished" pile. He was too lazy to keep doing this, so he thought of a new way. Instead of holding it by hand, he put the (hollow I assume) part on the end of a rod and held it to the wheel that way. It went way faster and the parts came out uniform/smooth. Unfortunately, he also didn't think to ask for a raise or promotion before showing this to the guy in charge, but they sure used that method for a long time.
undedzer0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:24 on March 18, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sometimes too lazy to go to "downloads" to open a document, so i just re-download it
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:01 on March 21, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I discovered that Domino's will deliver to my bedroom window by asking in the special request box.
nukamai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:54 on March 23, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
specifically, had the pizza guy deliver to my bedroom window. in general:the house motto is, "if you can't reach it; you don't need it." and we all have "reaching sticks" (broomsticks) in our bedrooms.(typically, the laziest room in an abode)
kylajaykay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:18 on April 5, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I blew my nose while in the bathroom just a bit ago. I noticed, after I had crumpled up the used tissue, that the garbage can was not there. I threw the tissue on the floor where the garbage can would be and walked out.
Syephous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:44 on April 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
This may be a dead post, but I still gotta say. The laziest thing I've ever done is a project the day and period it was due.
northernrock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:22:49 on April 28, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I once drank beer at breakfast time, because it was easier to just open a can than pour a glass of orange juice.
TheeHumanMeat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:32:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've got two semesters of online classes I've not started for about 8 months now and they're due in 13 days. Ya I'll get off reddit now.
wildwafle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:54:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spent 10 months indoors, moving only from bed to bathroom
i win
KestrelHarper ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:16:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:28:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i throw popsicle sticks behind the couch becuase im to lazy to put in the in the gabage can.
doublespeed5 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:44:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Surf reddit for a whole day.
Inferiex ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:32:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A month ago, I finally decided to get myself a computer chair (one that rolls around). Now I roll everywhere, when I need a bite, I roll right into the kitchen. Sad that I can't roll into the bathroom though...I need to get rid of that damned bump.
Codymoniz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:39:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once paid to have someone get my drink from across the room so i wouldn't have to get up and get it myself. Dude was a dick about it too, I was all "I'll give you a buck to grab my drink, bro" and he's all "I need about tree fiddy". He was way bigger than me though, so whatevs
Cruciphixed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was he about 500 feet and looked to be from the Paleolithic era?
Horse_On_Reddit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:05:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I sat in the stable all day and just ate hay.
psybientz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i laughed.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:35:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Skipped meals because I was too lazy to get out of my bed and eat about one meal a day on average. I have a surpessed appitite anyway.
Blacky31 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:42:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called for a pizza and paid extra for the guy to go to blockbuster for me on the way.
-wasn't even hungry
m1k3hunt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:10:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I regularly use the on-screen keyboard to type out of laziness.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:38:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Checked facebook/twitter on my phone, in front of my computer
USTS2011 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:07:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
a girl asked me to come over tonight (for sex), but I didn't feel like leaving the house, I got a raincheck
chase102496 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not commenting on Reddit because I didn't want to explain a lengthy story about how my dog got me a bag of Doritos because i taught him to, by taping a doggie biscuit to the corner of the bag. Wait... Fuck.
The_Buffmeister ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:14:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not masturbated.
Or the time I was thirsty and too lazy to wash a glass for a drink so I took a swig of applesauce from the jar in the fridge.
threecolorless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase "swig of applesauce" really tickled me.
faceoftheinternet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Snort laughed at this
Seliniae2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:58:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I never frowned so hard at a thread before.
iammilke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:19:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: I feel asleep in the pee....
darkzyxu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing... I just did nothing, man.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:06:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man.
kateykmck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:19:00 on March 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Was it everything you thought it could be?
HeartBalloon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:18:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dropped out of college.
thejfather ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:36:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After classes friday, me and my friend started watching game of thrones, cause he hadnt seen it. We got 3 episodes in at my dorm, then we went to my girlfriends apartment. She had a rowing competition early in the morning and she had a dog, so we were gonna stay there and babysit.
We ended up marathoning and getting to episode 2 of season 2 when she had to get up around 5 am to go to the competition. We fell asleep then on the couch and floor, woke up around 10, took the dog out, went to whataburger and bought food at wal mart. Then went back to her apartment and finished season 2, and got most of the way through season 3.
Tl:dr weekend long GoT marathon while babysitting girlfriends dog
TornScrote ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:52:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The question was what was the laziest thing you've ever done NOT* describe your most awesome weekend ever that may or may not have involved a 3 way*
Beeyull ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:11:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like a perfect weekend!
DirtiKurti ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:26:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ate my own jizz because I didn't have a place to wipe it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
username checks out.
iammilke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:40 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's not lazy.... That's just fucked up
DirtiKurti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:09 on December 1, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't knock it till you tried it. :P
iammilke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:43 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's a good thing I'm hungry
DirtiKurti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:43 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
2 birds... 1 stone
Sea_Of_Reposts ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:55:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I never fini
SeriouslySuspect ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:27:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put tinfoil over a slightly used plate instead of washing it (and potentially burning bacon if that's any defence)...
FunnyLittleHippo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:58:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wasteful.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
loqi0238 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:43:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But you'd have to take the time to pick up a back scratcher and maneuver it to your balls, rake it back and forth several times, then remove it and put it down somewhere, all of which takes cognition and conscious action. Seems like the good old hand is the quickest route from point A to balls.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
loqi0238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, well there you go.
Phoenixjs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was to lazy to grab the Apple TV remote that was just out of reach, I just downloaded the app on my iPhone and used that.
Pianoician ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had food cooking in the microwave and when the timer ended the food was at the back of the microwave. Instead of reaching in and grabbing, I set the timer for an extra five seconds so the tray would spin around to front.
dyabolikarl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:04:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rang my friend to come over and change my playstation game once. He came over and did it and went home.
firefly163 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:10:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I picked my nose, but didn't wanna wipe it anywhere, so i put it back in my nose.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:14:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this
flamboastin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:05:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I left my phone in a store, decided to leave it as i turned and saw it on the counter. Too far.
FortuneCookieguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:09:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Suck my own dick because I was too lazy to ask my girlfriend to do it.
ShannonMS81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:26:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The last apartment I had, came with a washer and dryer. I kept my dirty clothes in the washer, my clean in the dryer. When I needed to change I wet a wash cloth and threw it in the dryer and ran the dryer for 20 minutes. Showered and shaved while I waited.
Brushed my teeth in the shower.
Mariuslol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:39:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
During College I shared appartment with 2 other guys, and we had a shared kitchen area. We had an agreement to rotate doing the dishes, but I started making notes, then the name of one of them "I did the dishes yday, it's your turn "add in name". And when it was supposedly my turn I'd just leave it there, or hide the plates under the sink.
And I kept this up for 5 months before they figured it out.
Hmm, also worth nothing, I just got student loan, never showed up for classes, just played pc games.
Oh, and I'd call up one of the room mates gf getting them to clean and vacume the place (also worked for awhile, until he found out).
Hmm, this reminds me of when I was younger, living with my dad. He had this rule that every day he'd give us some chores, and then leave for work. Then me and my brother would split the chores (or that was the general idea).
But I found this nifty trick, let's say we were suppose to take out the dishes and hang up the laundry. I'd tell my brother, we have to vacum 1st and 2nd floor, do the dishes and hang up the laundry. You can choose what you want to do, I'll do the other.
He'd feel all clever and say he'll do the dishes and hang up the laundry, and leave me with the vacuming!!
BUT!!! There was no vacuming, I'd just add stuff, and this way I could just relax and play video games. Sometimes I'd just put on the vacum, leave it on for 5-10 min for good meassure.
Now I live on my own, and have to do my own laundry (which kinda sucks). But I just hang my clothes to dry, and never fold them, I just get them from where they're hanging and put it in the washer, and when it's full, rinse repeat, pretty clever.
SlattCatt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:53:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbated onto stomach before bed, no tp to hand, slept covered in spunk.
jet_heller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: A lot of people confusing stupidity for laziness.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shot ~10 nerf darts at my light switch, from bed. Missed all of them and slept with the lights on.
OrganicPair ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest thing I have ever done...twice...is when making a salad and the time comes to add carrots, I took the carrot into my mouth, bit off the pieces, and spit them into the salad.
RightTheHand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do that as the standard way to cut my carrots!!! Thought I was the only one! !!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Greatest photo ever came up right above this post
http://i.imgur.com/jRwnYG1.jpg
mercurialdude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hit 9 seconds on the microwave instead of 10 because its less buttons to press
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
musclenugget92 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:21:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy.shit. you're terrible hahaha
MattVsTheAtlantic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:36 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I saved this post because I couldn't be bothered with all the reading and have only just come back to it.
TheeHumanMeat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:28:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my sister screaming and crying when I asked her to shut the garage door on her way through the door. A button at shoulder level was too tough for her and yes she does stuff like this all the time.
FunnyLittleHippo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My kids fight over who gets to close the garage door. lol. I never imagined it as an inconvenience.
ThePoodlenoodler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't done a single homework assignment that wasn't absolutely necessary to passing since grade 2. I'm now in grade 11 and people constantly remark about how they hate me for getting decent grades even though I never put in any effort, but the truth is that it's very stressful and I can't seem to get myself to concentrate on the work whenever I actually try to do something.
jessticless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You really might just be lazy, but you might have a legitimate condition. Talk to a doctor if you have trouble concentrating.
jamiahx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
Wzup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kthulu666 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:05:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a friend to change the channel on the tv. The remote was sitting on my knee.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
just had my laundry delivered to my work.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ate cereal out of a plastic bag with a fork because dishes. Also, cold lentil soup from the can without an eating utensil.
I am also currently sleeping on top of my blanket to avoid washing my sheets.
Winterpeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wireless mouse/keyboard, always have the mouse in bed but the keyboard is regularly on the floor. Use onscreen keyboard 90% of the time instead of picking up the keyboard.
edwin9112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
being on reddit alllll day
funkdaddyhank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Done this a few times as a joke. Ill call my mom or sister upstairs saying I need help and proceed to ask them if they will get the remote for me or turn off the lights.
cymrufollies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Retired
ggfunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I watched an entire movie on TNT edited and of commercials because I didn't feel like grabbing the DVD of the shelf.
drlargen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once wiped mustard off of my face with the bread of my sandwich because I didn't feel like walking the 5 feet to the kitchen for a napkin.
Cruciphixed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude... This is a brilliant idea!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
one time i ended up throwing up because i was to lazy to get up and make something to eat
iPeeLavaLampGoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed in water bottles while playing PC games to avoid going to the bathroom. The bathroom is precisely 5 feet from my computer and the toilet is 10. I can see the toilet from the computer.
AtomFTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've gone 4 hours without using the restroom on my computer. The restroom is 4 meters from my room.
fuckallkindsofducks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Remote desktoped into my computer that was 5ft away from my laptop because I didn't feel like getting up from my bed and sitting at the computer.
mysterygirl1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ordered room service in a hotel and then complained to my boyfriend about having to put on pants to open the door.
crazyeyes64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried moving my legs, didn't work, i didn't have lunch that day.
cmrudy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just this evening I was too lazy to grab the remote off the side of the couch to fast forward through the commercials. The remote was mere inches from me. I have since regained my strength long enough to go on Reddit. I just hope I don't have to pee anytime soon
ThePornoMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I jacked off and instead of cleaning myself off, I just passed out.
thesaharah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a fews snow days back in high school. My friends all crashed at one house and spent 36 straight hours in their basement watching movies. Only got up for food. We morphed to the couch.
TheSlothRapist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
thekatzkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
theronsternater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
too lazy to decide which way i try turning off my lights without leaving my bed is the laziest
Scuba_Steve93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
AllThePoints ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once found dirty dishes from the previous week I forgot to wash and threw them away instead of cleaning them.
JizzOnRainbows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once spent a whole 3 day weekend smoking weed out of my bong, drinking beer, playing games,and watching movies on netflix on my xbox. I was so high/drunk that I was too lazy to get up and use the bathroom so I peed in the empty beer bottles.
gottalovetitties ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went on Reddit.
mrshosey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Quit smoking. My pack was empty, and my carton was on a book shelf near the opposite end of the couch I was sitting on. I didn't feel like moving so I just decided I was quitting. The next morning I figured I went that long without a smoke, and I didn't want that time to go to waste, so I sold my machine to a friend and gave them the almost full carton I had rolled 3 days prior.
ghostpoisonface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when i'm at work on reddit i never upvote or comment. i start to do anything but once i get to the login screen i just say fuck it and move on
Bag_of_Ducks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college when I lived in the dorms and drank alone I would just pee in one of the provided garbage cans and empty it the next morning.
fratbrahther ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used a backscratcher to pick up my fallen boxers after I fapped. I sleep on a mattress six inches off the ground.
BallinBrown23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pee on the sink so I can just plop my junk out and not have to worry about aiming
RegretDesi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reused an old bottle of soda instead of using a glass.
Was throwing up for 3 days afterwards.
KidZula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought a wheelchair on Craigslist for the sole purpose of not having to get up to get food.
dont_wear_a_C ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not me, but i've SEEN the laziest things one of my friends has done.
cue in sophomore year in college and i'm at a friend's apt chilling. their place is a mess cuz 2.....errr 3 of the 4 roommates are slobs basically. they don't look like slobs, but they live like them. haha. so one of the roommates comes out to throw his food waste out in the trash can. the food makes it in, but his napkin does not. he looks around, and then decides not to pick up the napkin. instead, he kinda uses his foot to kick the napkin behind the can. me and his other roommate look at him in shock. <2 seconds to pick it up. SO LAZY.
Calamash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
forticus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called my wife from the living room to ask her to get me a beer... While she was doing the dishes no less...
bdong002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
:D
theladyfromthesky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
well i once just stayed in bed, for around four hours, no sex or masturbation just laid there. i wasnt in a good mindset at the time. better now though!
Big_Billyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit.
Wzup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Project to be turned in at 11:59:59? Only need a page and a half? Meh, 15m should be good enough.
EDIT: Had known about it for about 3 months.
kxfuzed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sleep
eddyocheerio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to leave my bed, I once bribed my 3 year-old cousin into bringing me my phone with a toy . Little did he know that he had just helped me get my phone without lifting a single finger.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went and bought more clothes because I couldn't be bothered doing the laundry.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Typed "u" on a keyboard instead of simply typing two more letters to make "you"
Merlin_was_cool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Girlfriend and I felt like toast, didn't want to wait in the kitchen so we just sat the toaster on the coffee table. Thing is we left it there for weeks. It became a interesting conversation starter.
drzeeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was paying back my mom for some student loans. Didn't feel like walking over to the next room to hand her the check. Ended up taping the check to an RC helicopter and flew it into her as I grabbed a handful of cheeze its from the couch.
wanna_baby_roof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove from the grocery store to the liquor store in the same plaza.
Blugentoo2therevenge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gravy tacos.
HAIL_TO_THE_KING_BB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I made some killer burger and fries for dinner and thought I had bought some Pepsi at the store but realized I forgot. So Instead of putting on my shoes to go a block to the store or give up and drink water with my burgers, I called and tried to order just some Pepsi from Pizza Hut or whatever but they wouldn't let me so I ordered a whole pizza and the soda, just to get the Pepsi for the dinner I had already made.
Cold pizza for breakfast though so win win.
nuclear_teddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had to change the leather cushions on my couch because they were getting worn out, so I ended up laying on my coffee table to watch TV (despite having 2 chairs and an armchair in my living room) for about a week.
lollielu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Threw away all my dirty dishes
atn9009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Guilty. Don't want to wash that pan? Throw it out.
andrew_balls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when I'm about to go to sleep, I psexec into my desktop computer from my cellphone to shut it down when I'm 2 feet away in bed
Lewballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hooked up my laptop to my tv and bought a wireless keyboard/mouse pad combo so I can browse internet whilst laying comfortably in my bed.
Not so much lazy but 2 nights ago I was in a hotel room and could see the mcdonalds across the road and 2 guys and 2 girls were obviously drunk and being, not too noisy or annoying but still just being drunk, but i wanted to get my cheeseburger without any hassle so I called the cops and had them moved on so I could walk into the store without having to walk past them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I changed lanes without using my indicator.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
notinterestingenough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
couldn't bring myself to think a better username
Friendship_Errywhere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I didn't feel like walking up to my room on the second floor, so I sat down on the stairs and slept there.
I also one time rolled over in bed and peed in my trash can to avoid going to the bathroom.
Patches67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, lazy isn't about doing.
Lazy is about being.
KitNKaboodles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once texted my sister to get me the remote when it was on the other side of the couch
chrisll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
receedingpain21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used a baby wipe to clean up a egg my son broke over the carpet... It's now slightly crusty.. I still haven't finished cleaning the spot.
bartenderkellymarie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lay there while my husband has sex with me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
bartenderkellymarie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
hahahahahah!
Kayjaywt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My old housemate didn't wash any cutlery so ate a tub of yogurt with a plastic ruler.
jimminyjojo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was already laying in bed with the lights off when I felt like reading. Instead of turning on the lights I just grabbed the ipad next to me and downloaded an ebook version of the novel on my nightstand.
chrherr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Built an elaborate system of pulleys to drop a hammer onto my light switch every night instead of sitting up to flick it off.
Damnaged ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but I once witnessed my dad fill a cooler with beer and ice from the fridge. I asked him where he was going and he looked at me, sort of confused, walked less than ten feet from the fridge to the couch, sat down, and turned on the game. That was the proudest I'd ever been to be an American.
ThreeLeftNipples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think the real question is what's the laziest thing I haven't done.
DiscipleOfDrone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
SeveralPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Foul Bachelor Frog
cactipus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took a nine month philosophy course in college. Online. It was the equivalent one semester in terms of course load. There were some readings, which I didn't do. There were nine assigned essays (2-3 pages) for the entire course. No exams. No busy work. Just the essays. I waited eight months before writing the first one. In the last two weeks I still had eight to go, so naturally I got a two week extension from the instructor (why she gave me this extension, I haven't a clue). I wrote six more essays and then put my name on two pieces of paper and called them numbers eight and nine. The class was pass/fail, and with those seven legit essays I managed to pass.
abcdeline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Slept for a whole day. Woke up a few times, still sleepy eye, didn't have anything I REALLY needed to do, and just closed my eyes and went back to sleep. Did this a few times for just over 24 hours.
I knew there was nothing that had to absolutely be done, so I didn't do anything at all.
emc2alex1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was supposed to read great expectations in 9th grade. I read 3 chapters and decided it was too much, so I started using sparknotes. Got to about chapter 10 and decided even that was too much. I just chose not to read the rest of it. Test time came around, got a 53%. The only F I've ever gotten on a test.
thepopeofpoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't done dishes in a while, I've been eating off an old pizza box for a couple days now.
Strykrol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom. (bazinga)and that joke
Gspfilms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not comment. Fuck
Grainedelf98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once used my ice ax to type on my computer because getting up to get my computer was to much effort
GoldenFalcon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was living in my parents basement, about 17 y/o. And I needed some water, but didn't want to go upstairs and get it because I was playing a video game. So I turned up my subwoofer all the way, this was early afternoon, so I knew I wasn't going to wake anyone or ruin a nights sleep. So then I hear my Dad stomping down the stairs, I could hear the anger coming. So I grabbed my glass and pointed toward the door and waited for him to slam my door open. Luckily, I have a Dad with a sense of humor. He refilled my water due to my clever laziness and I promised not to do that again. Worth it!
HarveyBiirdman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but one of my friends (who is extremely lazy) didn't want to physically get up out if bed, so he rolled out and used his guitar hero guitar to drag himself to the fridge in his kitchen. He decided to draw the line after eating the food on the floor.
greenteamaniac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my friend. Every week, I come over to my friend's house to relax and talk like we usually do. My friend decided to eat some chips which was 3 feet away from him. He tried to grab his bag of chips from his chair without even trying to hard to reach and suddenly gave up. He then called his brother, 3 times, before picking up, and ask him a favor. His little brother comes up the stairs to ask what the favor was. My friend replied "get me those bag of chips right over there." His little brother was surprised of how lazy he was and brought the bag of chips to my friend. I've never seen this type of laziness ever.
Tl;Dr Called his brother to grab bag of chips next to him.
Britt2211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Driven to the shops from my house to get fried rice. It was about 30 metres away.
gottam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was doing homework in bed and didn't want to get up to turn my light off so I threw all my pillows at my light switch. Got it with the last pillow then feuded I was too lazy to turn the lights off, I was too lazy to get up and grab a pillow to sleep on.
extesser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once was too lazy to go downstairs to microwave a hot pocket, so I just turned on Crysis with max settings and heated it with my laptop exhaust
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sit on my couch hungry, but not hungry enough to go get food so I just wait untill I am hungry enough.
Calibased ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Came, wiped my hand on my sheets and fell asleep in my cum.
smittywarberyagerman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just ate an entire pint of ice cream because I didn't want to return the rest of it to the freezer. I'm home for break and the ice cream was my dad's, so this means that I'll have to go to the store tomorrow to replace it. Still easier than getting up right now.
Gorloke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I got laid, but only after my friends literally threw the woman on me.
theunit09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lazy Pong- beer pong with both teams sitting on opposing couches. When the ball went out of arms reach we had to convince someone walking by to grab it for us.
Flooben ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.
thisgirlisonfireHELP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought new underwear instead of doing a load of laundry.
Not my finest hour. But hey, we've all been there right? Just me? Okay, cool guys.
atn9009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I probably own over 80 pairs of panties because I do this. The thing is I am prone to UTI infections so I change my underwear like 4 times a day. I run out so fast ... I send my roommate and friends to Victoria's Secret for me.
They know what's up. They even know what prints I prefer.
thisgirlisonfireHELP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whaaaat that's crazy times. UTIs are so painful. How do you deal? I would just spend all day in bed.
Also I assume you've tried all the usual tricks: shower post sex, wipe front to back, cutting out thongs?
atn9009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of tears.
Haha, but no, I take a low dose antibiotic every day and I have an antibiotics at home already when one breakthroughs. I also take Cystex every single day pretty much. I have a kidney disease (medullary sponge kidney) that makes me extremely prone UTI/kidney infections. I average about 8 a year.
iamsomebodyawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
work really hard.
Bojangles315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had to pee, too lazy to get up, turned to my side and peed off the side of the bed
TooSexyForMySheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was a thread on this a month ago or so and the top response was about a guy being so lazy that he ordered overnight delivery for underwear so he wouldn't have to do his laundry.
Another comment was about someone pushing their plate under the couch so their roommate would find it and wash it himself.
Another person planned when he was going to buy underwear to skip laundry day. (Proactive Lazy)
Another guy spent a week on the couch because he was too lazy to go upstairs to his room.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After masturbating, I wiped my cum on my chest instead of moving 3 feet to get tissues. I'd like to say this has only happened once.
eyesfire2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
didn't bother to read list to post.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my mother had a phone in her room and on in the living room, one day I spliced off the living room so I would have a phone in my room. Most the time after high school i would crash in my room, and when i would want to talk to mom and ask for room deliveries I would yell out loud "MOM PHONE CALL" she would pic it up and I would too and hit a number so we didnt hear the dial tone and then it went something like "Hi mom, ROBERT KNOCK IT OFF!, but maaaam...click" and then either pouting or laughing lol Man I miss pre cell phone days so much fun!.
bsilverstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a good answer, to long to type, didn't write it in this thread.
ai1265 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
t-
Boomeowww ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 10 or so I was happy because I got my own landline for my room. One day I was laying in bed watching a movie and called the house phone to ask my dad to make me popcorn and bring it to me. He said he would that one time only because he thought it was clever.
Qwartezoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Crawled from the living room, down the hall, and to the kitchen to get some orange juice. Just to clarify, I am not a paraplegic.
brightcarnage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Forgot my book upstairs, torrented it on my laptop and finished the last 3 pages.
satansmight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I left all of the dirty dishes in the sink for two years and called it performance art.
tamponrockets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't mop my hardwood floor for three months. It's an area of approximately 300 sq. ft.
forrext ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pee'd into a Gatorade bottle next to my bed because I didn't want to get up.
micro788 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend that lived in a very creepy house. It was very late at night and could not go to sleep when I felt the urge. I decided out of fear and laziness that I am going to piss the bed...on purpose....I think I was 8 or 9 at the time.
FuzzyNutters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched garbage tv for the entire day because my controller was on the other couch.
spoofngoof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
beaniez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
An hour ago, I threw my purse at my bedroom door to close it. It worked, but it is only 4 ft away.
RevelutionaryKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my brothers friend would call/text his mum for food when he was in the next room. Sometimes he ordered kfc for breakfast.
madrfakr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to compare them
Jdbfogtown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was laying on my couch didn't want to get up and turn a lamp off so I threw my shoe and broke it
tartpumper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a ten foot cane (well, its actually about 6 canes tied together) with a large blob of blu-tack on the end, behind my couch so if I can't find the remote I grab that and poke at the buttons on the TV
Ham_Authority95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My door knob broke when I was about 15.
It made it take about 3 seconds longer to open the door.
These where my WoW days, and would binge for hours while raiding.
Needless to say, there where several coke cans filled with piss by the end of the day.
Also, I asked my mom to come in and throw them away for me.
likemyhashtag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If you had multiple landlines in your house as a kid, then you probably can relate.
I would dial my house number from my phone in my room and wait for the automated voice to tell me I just dialed myself. I would hang up the phone and then 2 seconds later it would ring only to have the same automated voice on the other end saying that I've been called by a party on my own line. So I would do this and wait about 2 or 3 rings, pick up the phone just as one of my parents picked up the other end and I would ask them to bring me food from the kitchen. Lazy or genius?
DinosaurPineapple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I only plucked one eyebrow once and then I got bored. Didn't pluck the other for a month and it was super noticeable.
JetsFanInDenver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a replacement filter for my water purifier 6 months ago. Haven't replaced it as yet!
Single_Ply_TP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought one of those Honeywell smart thermostats so I don't have to get up off the couch and walk the 3 feet to change the temperature and just change it from my phone if I want.
ioncehadsexinapool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i have gotten way too much shit for this. i still think it was a good idea. http://imgur.com/9ZbhyM3
lookthataway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once told my boyfriend I didn't know how to strain pasta. He was so surprised he "taught" me how to do it while I stood back and watched.
SanguisFluens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: I though I was lazy.
Crazyinbetween ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Are you going to vote today? Naw man I'll go tomorrow.
system3601 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
ohboyd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
in college once toilet paper ran out moved to paper towels, then to napkins, then to notebooks.
brokenbentou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was sitting in bed with the TV about 4 feet away. Comp was plugged in on Netflix but I couldn't be bothered to try to use a more on my bed (futon in sofa mode) so I downloaded a remote trackpad app(which I had to set up the receiver server on m desktop for) more effort than just using the mouse, but it was an investment in future laziness
TBE_0027 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothi
shawkes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of moving my mouse to click a blue link on reddit, I scrolled the mouse wheel such that the blue link moved to under my mouse cursor instead.
WeinerSlaaav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've gotten use to drinking warm/room temperature beer just because i couldn't be bothered going downstairs to the fridge every time i want another one
Armadyll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.
SireSpitfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in 2nd grade and had wrapped myself up in the bathroom rug coming out of the bathtub because it was too cold to get out of it and dry myself off as it was winter. Next thing I knew, I woke up in bed, apparently my parents had found nude me rolled up in a rug and put me in bed. They've actually never spoken to me about this...
baxtersmalls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I sometimes text each other instead of walking 20 feet, in to the living room, to talk to the other person.
YaFeelsMeBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not eating for a full day. Too lazy to even feed myself sometimes.
goswimmingly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I broke my leg and was laid up for a few weeks. I would watch the same movie over and over because I didn't feel like getting up to change it. School of Rock.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drunk me is so lazy, and such an asshole that he falls asleep on the floor right by my bed. Why the fuck can't you just get into bed?!
SatanSmiling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This
skippy100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was at a bar and didn't want to get up to check the specials board so just went to their facebook page on my phone.
werkahaulik94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I moved out of home I had all my stuff in boxes, and I shoved the boxes in the closet of the new apartment and not once unpacked everything. Moved back in with the folks using the same boxes..
MobBarley117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not finishing this sentenc
deathbymurder33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid, I loved sledding, but hated walking back up the hill. My brilliant solution: get a really long rope, tie one end to a tree and the other end to the sled so I could just pull myself back up. The rope wasn't nearly long enough, and snatched the sled right out from under me
nevertotwice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i had just parked my car when i noticed a spot open up three spots closer to the front of the parking lot. i moved my car.
Humping_a_cheesecake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was gonna post a story about the laziest thing I've ever done right here, but eh..
northies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Everyday, after school, i would wait 45 minutes for a bus that would drop me off right outside my house, rather than walking for 10 minutes and getting home an hour earlier
Isthisapuzzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...
jerschwab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Believed to mail $150 plus of computer component recipes. They just expired.
akennedy8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had pizza delivered from the pizza place across the street.
starships_lazerguns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
doismellbacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wn i tpe i hte usng xta ltrs nd ppl thk im rly lzy
pwsyco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Took a huge piss in my pajamas on a Saturday morning because I was just so comfortable in bed. I was in 6th grade.
C8CatChristy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I phoned my husband who was in the next room sitting at his computer with his headphones on. In my defense, I had a cat on my lap and we were both very comfortable.
chikendrank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to use the force for a good 5 minutes. I thought that if I believed I could that I would.
powerhousedrew14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
college..
SonyPlayer1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sit on my ass 4 10 hours straight, while working, on reddit. (I work at a Chrysler plant.) no one even cared or noticed.
Homebound_Cobra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend was so addicted to runescape he pissed the bed because he was so close to getting 99 fletching he didn't want to get up
1Cornholio5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took a shower with my socks on to clean them because I was too lazy to do laundry. They still didn't get that much cleaner.
RenaissanceGraffiti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
had food delivered to me from a restaurant 3 blocks away by someone 3 miles away on a bike...
JBlaze94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: People confusing laziness and depression
UnknownQTY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I were lazy, I wouldn't have done it, would I?
Deae_Hekate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed out my dorm window on the 10th floor rather than go to the bathroom.
The bathroom is next to my room, I was not drunk.
orangemonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
hmm Also I would have to say that stretching my arms while almost throwing out your back to reach the object you need...most likely the remote control. while keeping your ass firmly gripped on the couch
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Created a string contraption with my friend to turn the light on and off without having to get up. It was successful.
LeadPaint52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last year I rented a room and lived on the second floor. For a week the upstairs toilet was broken so I would piss in the sink rather than walk downstairs.
Solski12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Up late watching tv as a kid. Was too lazy to walk from the couch to my bed upstairs so i decided to sleep in the den. I was also was too lazy to lie down and slept upright.
chander04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
without any job sitting in home for past two years
warboy3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy who ran a garden hose into the bathroom so he didn't have to get up to piss. He also put a mini fridge under his desk and a microwave on nearby table so he didn't have to get up to eat or drink.
This guy was my raid leader back in Vanilla WoW. Sent us pics all the time. Guy was a total jackass, and ended up being the direct reason I quit playing. He hacked my account and stole all my stuff so he didn't have to "waste time" gearing up his college buddy. I got him banned. Jerk.
Syyntax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used my Smartphone by touching with my nose because I was wearing gloves.
csmblair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not smoking my weed that was 5 feet away and just laying in bed for hours thinking, "Damn, wish I was high."
PoppinYourAsshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't feel like grinding iron and coal for weeks, so I told everyone that Jagex won't let you reveal your own password. +gp
Eddie_Van_Halen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Planned a sleepover with a friend so I moved two mattresses into another room. After the sleepover I slept in that room for three weeks because I didn't want to move my mattress back into my room.
Flapperdapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll tell you guys about it later
Caruban01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Liquid Diet because I was too lazy to chew...
ChiefGraypaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've posted this before, but I frequently use a 6' long Lacrosse stick to shut my light off, or pick up things that are more then a foot away from me.
rodigo1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't feel like finishi
soundboy5010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Co-worker was using a ladder in the spot that I needed to get some stock down off a shelf, I asked if she could let me borrow it for 2 seconds. She refused.
So I walked over to where the other ladders were, called our store on the phone, asked for the girl using the ladder then hung up (the store would then do a call out over PA for her). Then i walked back over to where she was using the ladder and obviously she went to answer my phone call. Successfully got stock down without lifting my arms.
Shulman42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was sitting with some girls at a party, and this guy I had talked to earlier sits down and talks to me and asks if I knew any of the girls. I just denied knowing anyone becouse I cba to introduce them to eachother (2 of the girls I was sitting with where my friends that I came to the party with).
Meech11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The current pile of dirty laundry on my floor that has been there for about 3 months. I even moved houses and just put the dirty laundry right back on the floor. Every morning I take the cleanest looking pair of pants and shirt and just throw that on with some cologne and deodorant. Still have a girlfriend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Skipping class in college (in the past) because it was raining and I'm tucked in too comfy, I call my friend up on my phone to ask if he's going, and when he picks up he knows what I'm about to say and laughs. He was my housemate and he slept in the room next to mine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ordered a coke from Jimmy John's for delivery.
TbeastW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
DickKong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Moved into a smaller studio apartment to minimize distance between kitchen, bathroom, and the bed.
Quest4life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have to pass by my mother's room to go to the bathroom. I sleep naked so when I have to go to the bathroom I pee In a bottle cup and empty it usually sometime next month... eventually I have 5-6 pee bottles around my room but atleast I don't have to put pants on to use the bathroom
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my room mate was studying late in the lounge across the hall from our room. She had to pee and was too lazy to walk back, so she used the lounges sink
knittingnola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used the back of my hairdryer to pick up scraps of trash on the floor when I could of just picked it up.
Bardfinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Siri, post this question to askreddit: What is the laziest thing you've ever done?".
luckiest_wasp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was ridiculously thirsty, but I laid on the couch for an hour before getting up to walk four metres to get a drink, all the while thinking about how thirsty I was and wishing I had some water.
That's probably a tie with the time I was on my laptop in the dining room, and I sent a message via MSN to my brother, asking him to come to where I was. He came from the other end of the house to the dining room, and when he got there I asked him to pass my glasses, which were on the dining table but a bit out of reach. That was all I wanted.
talagar1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered two pizzas. Ate both pizzas while watching a whole season of South Park.
Domerhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey Andrew (roommate), come here for a sec, I have to show you something"
"Yeah what's up?"
"Mind grabbing the light for me?" The pull chain mind you is a solid two feet from my computer chair.
Roommate scowls as he turns out the light for me. Nothing like getting other people to do your work for you.
deifgd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I finished grading the last assignment for a student in my class. There's one last portion of it that would require me to reach down to find it grade it. It's out of 4 points. A 4 would grant the student an A. Anything lower would end in an A-. Guess he gets a 4.
Edit for clarity.
xursian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sleep!
SkyCrystal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of having to get up off my bed twice a day to refill the hamsters' food bowl, I now live with all three cages lined up on my bed. They've been there for months now.
jtpenezich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone who hasn't posted something in this thread are the real winners.
cynicalskin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My sister made her basement into her and her husband's bedroom. The 'laundry room' is in the corner of their room. My brother-in-law pisses in the laundry tub because the only bathroom is upstairs. On really bad days, he just pisses the bed.
POGTFO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my roommate decided to spend about an hour or so constructing an elaborate design (see: string) so that he could flip the switch for the main light in the room on/off from his bed.
schwipple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is my first post ever on Reddit, but here goes:
When I was a sophomore in college, I had an accounting class and went to 6 classes the entire semester. We had to sign up for a presentation on any chapter at various times. I obviously signed up for literally the last time slot at the end of the semester. I did my presentation (which was supposed to be 25 minutes) on chapter 1, the definition of opportunity cost the day before the due date.
The majority of slides had multiple dumb play on word pictures and little to no text. I had one power point slide titled "weighing the pros and cons". On the slide, there were jpegs of a balance weight scale, Michael Jordan (pro), and a stock image of a guy dressed up in a prison Halloween costume (con). It took ~ less than 10 minutes to present.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend gave me one job, which was to hold a spatula over the popcorn maker so the kernels wouldn't fly out before popping. Not wanting to stand there, I stacked 2 vitamin bottles on top of each other, and balanced the spatula on top.
TomSawyer90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this response
JacknCoke19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called and asked my gf to come over (70min drive) just so I could convince her to cook me dinner and do my laundry. She did...
I took her to a nice restaurant to thank her the following night...mostly so I didn't feel like the biggest, laziest, piece of shit ever
....I also pissed into a gatorade bottle while in bed to avoid getting up to go to the bathroom.
edwa6040 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you sir are a master...and dont lie you took her to the restaurant for the sexy times
xBurgundy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
3 days same underwear.
edwa6040 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
amateur...try 3 days then 3 more comando...id say on average when i reach the point where i need to do laundry it takes about 2 weeks longer for me to actually do it.
xBurgundy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:26:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my friend we are more similar than you think.. Didn't want to sound like a weirdo. Lol
Juicy_Grandpa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Took the time to master the art of turning my television on/off with my foot when the remote wasn't an option.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I walked away from my fridge after getting a beverage, only to realize the fridge didn't fully close. I'm a good 20 feet away now, in my living room. Instead of going back and shutting it, I pick a pillow up off the couch and throw it, hit, and close the fridge door. That pillow? I'll pick that up later.
OldCountryBuffet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watching any stream on Twitch makes me feel extremely lazy. Nothing says pathetic like being too lazy to play a video game and, instead, resorting to watching some stranger play it over the internet. It used to be that I played games when I wanted to be lazy and now I've graduated from that.
Blade22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
left the milk on the kitchen table and went to bed, texted my neighbour to come up and put it back in the fridge. She obliged, She has an irrational crush on me.
daymankarate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called the house phone to talk to someone in the house with me, because I didn't want to get up to talk to them.
ShortchangeParamecia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to walk to the other side of the house to use the toilet...
So I went into the laundry room and pissed into the flood drain.
wartornglory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called a buddy of mine from down the hall to grab a pop out of my fridge when I didn't want to leave the couch. Damn I'm lazy
SF_Gangplank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
College.
Kidou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would lay in bed amd call my brother to my room to turn off my light.
He caught on to me and would refuse, so I started to ask him to come to my room so we could talk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm hard, so just jump on."
Yourpal_val ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The other day I checked my phone to see if it was snowing instead of getting up to look out the window.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Call my mom (on the phone) when I wake up so she'll bring me coffee upstairs. My mother is an angel.
the_mountains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jennifer Lawrence people!!! <3
acertainfailure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed myself so I didn't have to get out of bed to use the bathroom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had woodshop for first period in high school. Ditched often, about 45+ times each semester, and was failing the class horribly. Teacher was a nice dude: on the last day of class he handed me a sander, asked me to sand down one of the work tables, and he'd give me a C-. Sounded like an awesome deal.
Once his back was turned, though, I was out the door and at the arcade down the street. Never even turned on the sander.
Danielsmash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wrote thi...
mitchellisawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've had three weeks to write a simple song about Thanksgiving for my guitar class. It's due in a few hours, and I haven't even written one word.
Ineeni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reply to this post with my feet.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
graduated masters in arts
grimeyGR1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i was extremely hungover and ordered a pizza with specific directions to bring the pizza into my bedroom. the nesteas that came with that pizza may have saved my life that day.
aura_enchanted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back in high school I put my head down and slept EVERY French class. I still passed with a 90 (A). I even tried this during my midterm and also passed that too (88). I had a naptime everyday at school :P
Later when my teacher met me in after I graduated I asked him if he knew. He never noticed and I laughed.
lmfm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Threw all my pillows to close my door. Had to sleep without pillows.
edwa6040 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
watched movies on netflix instant that i own because i didnt want to get off the couch to get the dvd, reuse dirty dishes out of the dishwasher because i havent gotten around to washing them yet, pee out a third floor window because i didnt want to walk down the hall (read couldnt walk because drunk), slept with clean laundry on my bed for about a month, that is more than one cycle through wearing and washing all my clothes.
NoSarcasmHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once put $20 of gas into my car, then drove down the street and put $20 into the drive up ATM, just to avoid having to walk inside.
enkidu9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's not what you do, but rather what you didn't do.
OwlsNest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little I tied a string to the pull on my light, then to a stuffed animal in my bed so that I could turn off my light without getting out of bed. I had a bad angle or something, so when I couldn't turn the light off I yanked on the cord, and ripped the light out of the ceiling. That light still doesn't work... that was 18 years ago.
carmenE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stove top mac n chz in the microwave... stopped it early. Partially mushy, partially crunchy. Ate it anyway. Yes, I was stoned and 18 lol
OrangeRoyalty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Moved my coffee maker to my bed side table so in the morning I wouldn't have to get out of bed to have coffee. I also used to get dressed while still laying down in bed before school.
Prophasis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Copy and Paste "OK". Edit: It's rather stupid cause ctrl+c and ctrl+p takes longer.
teaching-man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. I do nothing all of the time and 90% of my "problems", just go away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Recliners were passed down to the men in my family and I finally got one in my room. I either lost the remote to my tv or the batteries died. Instead of fixing the remote situation I just situated my recliner in front of the tv, so that when I prop my feet up I could change the channel, volume, and whatever else with my toes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mowed over a dead bird instead of throwing the corpse in the bin.
DorkWithASpork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
kitkatzchen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
edwa6040 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
some of the laziest people have created some of the best inventions, the microwave, the tv remote, you know those were invented by lazy dudes
ThickDiggerNick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my old house (two houses before the one I am in now) I was on the second story, there was no bathroom up there so what does do I do? I drill a hole through the fucking wall, put a Pvc pipe in it, and in the pvc I put a funnel.
Worlds most basic urinal.
Ronan6793 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dunno if this counts but I was too lazy to wait an hour for my bus so I walked home. Still made it home quicker.
PigAteMyPie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a friends house. His mum wanted him to chop up some wood for the fire, I offered to do it. Went outside, lodged axe into trunk of tree and continues playing video games with my friend
BM_FUN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So i had a cup a juice in my hand(i had something else on my other hand,) i tried to turn the door knob so i can open the door with the hand i had the cup with, but i refused to put the cup down on the table next to the door, and i turned the knob opening the door with hand with the cup and the juice spilled all over the carpet
Iokuas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once wore the same pair of clothes for four days in a row and just sprayed on a new, heavy coat of deodorant every day because I was too damn lazy to do the laundry.
rooshbaboosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my friend at university went to the trouble of making a tool that could retrieve the TV remote from any part of the room so that we didn't have to get up if we ever found ourselves out of reach.
We named it The Retriever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not checking for reposts.
Leporad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've gone 14 days without food because I don't feel like getting/eating food.
kire_ithal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ate a bowl of cereal with a butterknife, because no clean spoons.
WillAteUrFace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Never download computer updates. It's just a click, but I'd rather just shut my computer down.
lenstole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ate a small piece of paper because I was too lazy to walk to the bin, which was in the adjacent room.
fezvez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, I had to prepare a resume with a picture. I was too lazy to shave myself (or to even stand up) so I took a picture with my webcam, and photo-shopped my beard off.
GnarGash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Live Webcam girl sites instead of a girlfriend. :c
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have the virtual keyboard on my task bar so that I can type without leaning forward in my chair.
Dalven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laying in bed in my room, I called my house from my cell phone so someone can bring me a glass of water. I do this a lot actually.
thefoley2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Internet_Loner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly, not take the time to visit my sick grandpa...didn't know he'd die. I have a car or I could've rode with my mother, but I was just to damn lazy.
mikeellis673 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once blutacked a fork to the wall next to my chair so I could hold a joint in it whilst playing Goldeneye. It turned into a suspension project as I took the shoelace out of my shoe to secure it to the ceiling relieving some of the weight from the blutac.
Problem was I ended up twice as stoned as my competitors and started losing big time. So it goes.
WaffleChomper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I frequently park at the end of the parking lot and walk because I'm too lazy to drive all the way up to the front of the store and look for a spot!
TheHerny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spilled a cup of tea all over myself in bed once. I was too tired to get up and clean it, so I just went to sleep covered in tea. The warmth was relaxing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not something I did, but my dad used to call me into the living room from across the house to turn off the light switch or hand him the TV remote, etc.
UnderworldReptile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college I would take the handicapped elevator to go up and down to avoid the stairs.
pumpkin_blumpkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought am Xbox one so I didn't have to find the remote
pjturcot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went straight to the comments on reddit hoping to understand a post without having to follow the link
the_word_is ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't move for 13 hours. Set myself up with a sandwich, 18 beers, triscuits, a remote, a quarter, a bowl, a lighter, and a bed pan. Just kidding, but that's how I feel because I'm that fucking lazy all of the time.
JCAnthony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You ever slept for 36 hours because you were to lazy to get up, yeah I've done that twice.
DJGeorgeWashington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once had to edit and finalize a group paper. I wanted to go to Disneyland the night before it was due so I did it in mobile Word on my WP in line for Star Tours. Grade: B+ Group Satisfaction: High
moistlettuce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Alarm set to 7:30 AM to go to an 8:00 AM class. Proceeded to press the snooze button until it was 12:00 PM-ish. Not sure what I was thinking considering the alarm clock was across the room. I'm not a clever man.
sprtn117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lost the remote and couldn't find it so I used a hockey stick taped to a broom stick to turn the channels.
pbachar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
tl;dr everything
lmfm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did a months worth of laundry then dumped it all on my bed. Couldn't get to my covers to sleep so I used my clothes as blankets. Went on for about 2weeks.
hilburn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On a night out I went into a pizza delivery place and ordered a large mushroom and pepperoni pizza, delivered to my house. I got a lift home with the pizza, cheaper than a taxi
crnchwrapsuprme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
that's pro
WillAteUrFace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I usually start typing comments on reddit,
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
zazathebassist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit when I should be doing homework. Not the laziest single incident, but the longest/most occurring.
Worst was when I used the reddit app because I didn't wanna walk 6 feet to get my laptop for reddit.
dylanisrad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On two separate occasions I have driven to Walmart and bought more socks and underwear to avoid doing laundry.
Danger--Zone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't load a file from a computer disk that let me print things from my laptop. I have been emailing documents to myself and printing them on another computer for months. It saved my ass a few times, though.
Lobsert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My eyes keep closing by themselves but putting my phone away is too much work.
grog23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am consistently late on my bills even though I have the money because I won't log on or call to pay them. Late fees up the ass
missyscove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was sitting on my bed in my dorm room and wondered if it was snowing outside. I didn't want to get up to open the curtains so I pulled up the "hi mom" webcam online. Yup, snowing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nearly had to go to the hospital because I wouldn't get up to get water during depression.
Day went like this:
Wake up in front of TV with controllers, remote, etc.
Play games/watch Netflix all day
sleep
repeat
gonewildecat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stayed in bed until it was dark out. Had a snack and went back to bed.
Thrown away a litter box and bought a new one just because it didn't feel like cleaning it.
Ordered take out ice cream
Got an extension to write a paper that was assigned on the first day of class. The paper was due the last week of class.
Woke up 15 minutes later than usual and decided I didn't want to have to rush to get ready for work so I called in sick
I've dedicated my life to laziness
Staciex327 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hope you had unlimited data lol
de_no ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was eating a watermelon 6 feet away from a garbage can. Didn't want to throw it or get up so I ate the hide
Im_not_that_creepy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Moved into an extra room at my friends house. Never unpacked. Moved out a year later. Most of my shit was still packed.
lockedge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched fourteen episodes of murder she wrote ina row because I was too lazy to change the channel, move from my comfy spot on the couch, or get up to eat or whatever.
I don't even like 'murder she wrote.' At all. Angela Landsbury has always creeped me out. But I was too lazy to do anything about it
Askol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched like 6-7 episodes of "The Hills" during a marathon because I couldn't find the remote and didn't want to get up (In my defense, I was sick).
excelsis27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My entire life. There's people studying for PhDs that are better than me at video games even though I've got all day every day to get better at them.
ProtonPup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was sitting on the couch watching tv, once the show i was watching ended i realized the remote was on the couch adjacent to me, rather than getting up i pulled the couch toward me until the remote was within reaching distance and i grabbed it. At this point the couch was directly in front of me so i could no longer view the television. I wasnt able to push it far enough back to where i could see the tv again so i just turned over and went to sleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I rejected a planned Skype call just because... The Rooster Teeth Lets Plays are waiting for me!
KFDizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. /thread
Canadian_Infidel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Threw out my dishes instead of washing them.
bassatonic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As I was just browsing through this thread my roommate spilled a cup of spit on the rug, instead of trying to clean the mess out of the rug he just rolled it up and threw it away.
loetz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered a quart of Ben & Jerry's cookie dough ice cream from a delivery service.
PresidenteJay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't feel like cooking an omelette, so i just ate an uncooked egg and a slice of ham.
gainsdyslexiafromyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone who ate through a maccas bag and a big Mac box to get to the burger, all because she didn't want to move her arms.
patriotfan09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was browsing the internet with my friend and the laptop was at the edge of the bed, since I was using a wireless mouse. I wanted to change websites, so instead of using the keyboard I very carefully selected letters and used the mouse to copy/paste them into a new tab search bar. I think it took three before the awesomebar took over.
DougieJazz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My sophomore year in high school, I had a WW1 children's book I had to do. I was given a whole week of vacation and two weeks to do it. I decide to start it on Sunday night at 9, thinking that the WW1 is an easy subject to write about, but my parents kick me off of my computer to sleep, but I was not done, so I 'borrow' my brother's laptop to finish, but I actually just went on Mangahere for about a couple hours then started. I finish at around 4:30 and I had to get ready for zero period soon. I turn it in, got a 1 hundo percent on it while more then half my class got d's.
SuperherosInDisguise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Being in a dorm, I have spent 24 straight hours in bed eating nothing but microwave pizza bites and taquitos.
Qubbe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Threw out all my dirty dishes and got a new dish set from ikea.
GFandango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I could tell you but I'
thehaga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was about 40 credits beyond requirement to graduate college, had a WoW raid one day (I was the GM/RL so it was self-scheduled) that I decided to prepare for while waiting for the bus.. ended up not going to school for the rest of the final semester. Didn't fill out the paper work even though I was still obviously able to graduate and didn't graduate.
/Finally did it later after my new job basically demanded that I show proof I graduated.
kmillz09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not bother to think of something lazy ive done
high_then_higher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brought a fly-fishing pole to my room, knowing full well I would use it to turn off my remote-less tv.
thebrownkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pick things up with my feet. Then again, I'm Filipino.
lavalampmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
drank the half-full four day old glass of water on my nightstand rather than get fresh tap water
pabs123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was gonna post but you people make me feel like I'm not yet worthy of bragging about laziness
shivaboom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this belongs here but I quit my job couple of months ago to go for masters degree and still haven't submitted any application or even zeroed on any college. Savings are running out, so i'll have to look for a freelance too but i really want to go back to college. Just haven't gotten off my ass to do anything about it. Also, memph trips are happening since i quit. Save me.
AdmiralAdjective ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
blerpydo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on the counter and eating toast, I was too lazy to swallow so I licked a napkin
McWeak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The other day instead of getting up to turn the dial of my floor lamp whose post is just barely in reach, I just reached over and knocked it into the floor breaking the bulb.
ThatGuy1221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to shoot my PS2 on with an airsoft gun when I was younger because I didn't want to get up. I hit the eject button and it broke off.
Shadowleaf12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
rhifooshwah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey, can you go pee for me?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
is it lazy when im sitting at the computer and check facebook on my phone while im on facebook on my computer?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took a fishing pole and tied a tennis ball to the line. This is how I play fetch with my dog.
just_a_lurkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
XxDahREDDITnaytarxX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't cut my hair or shaved in two years. Not because I don't have the time or money, but because it takes too much effort.
Tentacula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed in the sink.
gorblata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing. WHOAASHDFOASFHDFOH PARADOX!?
Urgullibl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean, "done"?
gorgonizedbyurTITS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used to take me days or even weeks to unpack my stuff after spring semester and moving back in with my parents..my mom used to give me so much shit for it
I_wish_I_were_drunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pee in the sink daily
pranda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't eat dinner because I didn't feel like microwaving the microwaveable frozen dinner.
Rovden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't find my remote to my tv... and the Jackass movie came on. I could have gotten up to change the channel, I lived in an apartment that the act of standing up I could have reached the tv.
I watched the whole movie. It's still rather upsetting to me that I did that.
hammerific ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend peed in a bottle once because she didn't want to go to the bathroom. Then she threw the bottle out the window. She was 7.
originsquigs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stared at a wall for 2 hours.
ImAVibration ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I toured around the US for 6 months living out of a big backpack. After I came back home, I lived out of that same backpack on the floor of my room for almost a year. Whenever I did laundry I would just pile it on the open bag.
hussoohs2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: a bunch of sinners, you people need Jesus.
PantsOfAwesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had my mouse unplugged and sitting on my bed ~5 feet out of reach. I browsed reddit for an hour with only my keyboard.
YLCZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After reading this thread I'm thinking the Trainspotting baby thing happens more than one might expect.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely nothing.
everydayguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I parked kind of far at a walmart. On the way out, I was too lazy to walk back so I carjacked some old woman and just drove home in her car.
dicks1jo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't feel like getting out of bed to turn off my desktop PC, so I remoted into it using my notebook to hit shutdown.
My right hand can get within 18 inches of the mouse from where I sleep...
wered0nehere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought an Xbox One. The amount of Netflix I've consumed via voice navigation while laying in bed is incomprehensible. I almost forgot they make games for this one.
sarahsssnake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called my mom to come over and walk my dog so I wouldn't have to get out of bed.
BadMachine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
Atalacus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is a trick question, the laziest thing I've ever done? Or not done would be the more appropriate answer wouldn't it? Today I went to order delivery pizza, but Papa Johns won't deliver to my new address, I got halfway through entering my personal information for a pizza hut account, gave up, walked 10 feet to the general store and microwaved some personal pan Red Baron pizza. So, I guess I was too lazy to order delivery pizza.. Edit for lazy typing
There_can_only_be_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have my mom feed me food because I was in the middle of a video game and simply couldn't pause to stop.
psylent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm teaching myself Powershell so I can be extra lazy at work.
UnderCoverPlayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Disgusting individuals with appalling habits.
gologologolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR-ed
nuadarstark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing...
It was near the end of school year when I was in local equivalent of high school and I just finished my written tests, having few weeks off before spoken ones, having a school but not doing anything in it so I stayed at my flat for few days after tests just sleeping in my bed, moving just to take a piss or shit and to have a lunch at restaurant right next to my apartment once a day. It was really wierd.
VegaDark541 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't so much laziness as it is bad judgment as a kid, but I remember one time when I was probably 5 years old I had just woken up and needed to pee REALLY bad, but it was just so warm and comfortable in my bed that I didn't want to get up. I ended up just pissing the bed and convinced my parents that it was an "accident" even though I never peed the bed before or after that.
rogueypiesladyhuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Moved across the street from my community college so I could walk to classes...it started out fine then I ended up driving to every class cuz i had to leave earlier to walk. Sigh...
elcapitanfiscal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a friend when we were in HS..his mom had bought him a new tv for his room and she hooked it up, leaving the old tv on his bed for him to do with it what he wants. For about a month that tv sat on his bed because he was too lazy to move it, I would come over in the mornings sometime and find him sleeping AROUND the tv on his bed..I finally took it to my house.
USID_ent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cashed some savings bonds and became a recluse.
celica951 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
GAhlekzis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nearly everyday I lie hungry in bed and don't want to go get some food. And then I turn around and sleep.
KingPupPup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ya'll are some lazy motherfuckers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted to play GTAV but didn't want to reach to the table that was a foot away in order to get the controller. Feigned disinterest and interwebbed and slept all day instead.
JizzerWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For me, it is IMPERATIVE that I shower after I take a shit.
There have been a few times where I will sleep it off and take a shit the next day because I'm too lazy to take the shit and shower and put on lotion and clothes.
crunkbackofnotredame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered delivery from a restaurant around the corner from my house.
jdanhyde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once was so lazy one day, that i ate a wrapper off a table. There was literally food 5+ feet away from my hand, and if i had lazy-rolled (assuming you all know what that means) i would have gotten a bowl of chips i had previously gotten. But no. I ate a wrapper.
Tl;Dr:I are lazy, ate an wrappeh.
swiftrandomness94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Partially cook a raw pre-made pizza in the microwave, cut it up with scissors, and get diarrhea from the doughy center.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I paid my sister 8 dollars to pour me a glass of milk. I was sitting at the kitchen table. She just happened to be sitting on the side closer to the fridge.
fattmagan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like how the top three comments are all one line long
It's like they were so lazy they couldn't strain to describe their laziness beyond one line of text
PorksChopExpress ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A
PopeSlyph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Opened a coke can with a tin opener so a) I didn't have to do any dishes, b) I could drink jack and cokes on the porch in Wisconsin while 18.
homeyhomedawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.
menguinman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
oozamiaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friends asked me if I wanted to go watch a movie and I just tested them I couldn't because I had stuff to do, it's not about money, it's just that I'm way to lazy to even go, so I'll just watch some Harry Potter while eating some potato chips and go to bed :)
tycul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Housemate and I eating prawn curry on our beds, both too lazy to walk to the bin so we threw the prawn shells onto our bedroom floors.
At the same house our fridge died and we didn't realise there was a fish in the freezer. Found it there 6 weeks later and it STUNK. Didn't wanna deal with it so we left it there, the smell couldn't escape the freezer door. Every so often when a friend came over we'd tell them to get something from the freezer and they'd get a face full of rotten fish ha haaa.
AllTimeNutella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gotten tired from complain about how far the tv remote was.
DinoGorillaBearMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh boy. The laziest thing I've ever done.
Back at the first house I lived in when my mother and step father got together here in Las Vegas we had a pretty decent sized back yard, My step dad being the tinkerer he was wanted a fountain with Koi fish to add to the theme of the backyard and to make this ugly corner near the pool a little more pleasing to the eye. So we did what anyone does when they want a "do it yourself fountain" and started digging.
Now all that dirt had to go somewhere right? So we had been taking turns (Step brothers and I) digging or wheel barreling the dirt out to the font yard. I was taking a short break waiting my turn while one of my step brothers had to take the over sized load of dirt out front, Well you see... the path we took was RIGHT next to the pool, and he got high centered on a rock and started tipping towards the inside of the pool.
I was literally standing right there, could of prevented the entire thing just by reaching out a hand and grabbing the side, but I was tired from digging and too lazy to even reach my arm out, saving us hundreds of dollars from having to filter out dirt and rocks and drain the pool for the next 3 months, Also I just wanted to see how it would look/what would happen.
lofike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't bothered to go to kitchen to snack...lost like 10 lbs from that
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do absolutely no work, turn in zero assignments and get the first F my 7th English grade teacher ever handed out.
She accepted assignments until the end of the school year.
SirDalek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I regularly try to use the force to get my cell phone from my bedside table (like a foot away).
Fanboy1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom and I text each other all the time. While we're both in the apartment. I'll be laying in bed, her on the couch, and we'll be talking about where to order from for dinner. True story.
JCLNV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The other month I was lying on the sofa and needed a shat but I couldn't be bothered to get up so I hung my ass over side and laid some cable in a a glass and put it on the floor with a magazine on top. It was there for a good two hours.
FrostyShakez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sat on my ass sipping fanta while the rest of my family were busy spring cleaning for relatives that were going to stay at ours. I simply refused to give a shit because they were shitty relatives. :)
stevezer0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
pissing in the sink when the toilet is 2 more feet away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well work was involved but the outcome is lazy, I've laid out my room so that I can reach everything with my hands or feet without getting out of bed. From my Dr. Pepper to the remote etc.
Csimonokc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When my alarm went off this morning instead of hitting snooze or turning it off I pulled the covers over my head and waited 25 minutes until my roommate got up and turned it off. Then I went back to sleep. The alarm clock is on the nightstand inches from my bed. This morning wasn't the first time I used this tactic and it probably won't be the last.
shiny1s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend's brother sleeps on his computer seat with his feet on his bed.
edmondshimon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Digital sign, about six feet off the ground that I had to work on. Company accidentally called out a 60' boom lift. Used lift because ladder was in my van.
Feequess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was playing the guitar. Needed to tune it. Tuner was across the room on the TV. Pulled out my phone and downloaded one so I wouldn't have to get up. The tuner app was better than my "real" tuner.
flintan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes in my office job, I'll put off doing certain tasks because it involves too much clicking of the mouse or moving the cursor around. Think about that for a second.....I'll put off doing a job because I don't want to move my index finger.
I know I'm not alone in this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted starbucks really badly before going home but I didn't want to leave my car, so I drove to the closest drive thru which was 20 minutes south of where (I passed 3 or 4 starbucks without drive thrus on my way to the one that had one) this starbucks was then 25 minutes from my own house in the opposite side of the city.
I tried rationalizing it by telling myself it was winter and it was cold.. It was only maybe -10 degrees... Laziest I have ever felt.
cpt0bvi0u5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had my girlfriend feed me breakfast in bed while I was still lying down in the sheets. It was so warm and delicious
TVMessiah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Since little over a year, my ISP offers all those customers who ordered the 5mbps internet access a free upgrade to 100mbps (down only). It's kinda ridiculous because it's a different contract it would be about 1.50 โฌ cheaper.
I haven't done it yet. I'd have to go to my ISP personally. How far away could that be, you ask? Well it's a whole 2station train ride which would take about 7 minutes.
hooksforfeet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lived by myself in a studio apartment. Came home from work and had no clean dishes. Ordered pizza online, tracked its delivery so I only had to wear pants for the few minutes it would take to answer the door. When I opened the pizza box, they had forgotten to cut my pizza. I wasn't going to wash a knife after going through all that work, so I folded it up and ate it like a massive taco.
Tldr I am a (reformed) foul bachelorette frog.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Often times I feel really tired and want to go to sleep, but I'm too lazy to move my computer, phone, and box of tissues off my bed.
I generally just continue to browse for an hour more, but if I'm extra lazy I just pass out with everything still surrounding me.
darps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was supposed to meet with a few friends, so I took a set of clean clothes downstairs, showered and got dressed, when I noticed I had forgotten the socks upstairs.
I told them I don't feel well and took a nap on the couch.
Van_by_the_river ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
pissed in cat litter box so i wouldnt have to get dressed and leave bedroom.
theodorus85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Never threw out trash from my car, always dumped it in the passenger side floor. Must have been cleaning some shitty weed and threw some seeds down there too. Eventually noticed several marijuana plants sprouting through the garbage feeding off the decaying crap i kept placing there and some liquids that gathered on the floor mat. some were over 8 inches tall with several leaves.
sheetsofsaltywood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Slept until like 3:00 PM, woke up only because my girlfriend brought me chicken and waffles, ate them in bed and immediately went back to sleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friends and I sat at a lunch table in high school right next to the vending machines. My friend used to pay one of us a dollar to go buy him something from the vending machines...8 feet away. He wasn't rich. He was just lazy as fuck.
ggoodie00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Phone someone who is in the next room because I'm comfortable sitting down.
defec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
billiam22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll think about it later.
FRDyNo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Blew my nose on my pillow in the middle of the night.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not attend classes for two consecutive quarters and subsequently about to completely withdraw from uni. Contemplating whether to break free from parents help (and they absolutely assisted me with their love + paying for tuition + allowing me to commute from their home) and get a job + attend CC, or hang myself out of shame.
williamhtdo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed in a bath tub because i was too lazy and tired to open my eyes and aim for the toilet bowl.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
Yeahman1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ezziboo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Run another cycle on the dryer even though the clothes are already dry to avoid having to put them away. All the time.
da13omb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I think what you mean is what we haven't done.
freddiocre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
get blinded every morning by sunlight because the bed is closer to the door than the curtains of my floor-to-ceiling windows
Soitgoes5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, my dad and his roommates had a contest to see who can stay in bed the longest. They were only allowed to get up to use the bathroom and food had to be brought to them. After 3 days my dad's best friend won and stayed in bed for 2 more weeks just because.
BiggieSwalls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I fashioned four bendy straws together and drank a whole bottle of MD 20/20 on the table while lying flat on the couch
Mekitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my boyfriend pisses in bottles while he games so that he doesn't have to walk down the stairs to go to the bathroom.
WILLingtonegotiate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once you have children, your laziness is transformed into a dictatorship. Your children do your bidding for you. This sort of makes you feel worse than being lazy. example: remote across the living room, screw it i'll just watch the news(lazy). Remotes across the living room, I will call my child at their friends house down the street, make them come home and ask them about their homework, "Well while your here, hand me the remote.".
I am no longer lazy, I am a cruel cruel emporer, reigning over a throne of sweat and loathing.
Kukuroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying in bed on my laptop and had a huge urge to watch a certain movie. I already owned the movie on blu ray, but looked it up online because I didnt want to get out of bed.
lolitstim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time while playing Borderlands with a friend of mine, I told him I'd wait in the car while he turned in the quest. I didn't feel like walking into the town. In a video game.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Threw away all my dirty dishes because I didn't want to wash them.
spaghettimonsters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, my dorm room had a bathroom with a drain in the middle of the floor (basically the entire bathroom was one giant shower). After a night of partying I woke on the bathroom floor naked in a pile of my own vomit. My solution was to roll over, turn on the shower and just lay there under the water letting my puke slowly make its way to the drain.
saltywings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend gave me some gum and I turned it down because I said I was too lazy to chew it.
JustBlameJosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I washed my sheets before I went to work, and when I got home I decided I was too tired to put them on my bed. I slept on the floor for about a week.
cynicalskin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:55:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just sleep on the sheetless bed?
JustBlameJosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laundry basket that had the clean sheets was on the bed, I probably should have mentioned that.
snerhasnerha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Ill just throw the beer bottles away later"
day 143, Cannot find exit.
Cringebot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My house was being remodeled and most of it was under construction so the fridge had to be put in the bathroom. For lunch I'd go home, sit on the toilet and make myself a sandwich.
KyalMeister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I got up an hour ago to go to the bathroom and get a Dr. Pepper before I played more Super Meat Boy. I've even sitting on the couch for an hour redditing and haven't even opened my soda or played any more video games; even though both are sitting not 10 feet from me...
trapezoidface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I occasionally eat my own cum because there isn't a kleenex nearby.
CrazierLemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
hence the face
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used tinfoil as a plate because there were no clean dishes.
TheAlaskanPipeline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:27 on December 15, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...
lakorvkorvkorv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
have my computer screen on 1 side of the bed and my laptop on the other so I can turn around in bed and still browse internet.
scootah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's one house between mine, and the Indian restraunt. Ordered home delivery.
cruzinusa91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
argued with my roommate for 4 hours to hand me the laptop that was within my reach if I just leaned over. Our rule was if you can grab something and hand it to the other person without getting up we had to. He did not respect the rule.
PorkStuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ate trash food so i didn't have to call in a pizza or cook.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I lived in a dorm with community bathrooms, I brushed my teeth using the water from a water bottle so I wouldn't have to leave my room.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
breathe, almost suffocated at one point.
zed187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sleep for 24 hours
drewgarr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ate a muffin to avoid brushing my teeth
iBongHit4Jesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to pay my roommate to get me things from the fridge, microwave things and bring them to me, turn the tv on/off or up/down. I just didn't feel like getting out of my comfy waterbed and he likes a free dollar!
purplepeachpuppy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know that this will probably get buried but here is goes anyway:
My freshman year of college, a girl who lived down the hall called me on the phone. I answer and she tells me to walk about 25 feet down the hall to her room. This is already lazy, as she could have came to my room but whatever. I do it.
Once I reach said room, SHE HAS ME FLIP OFF HER LIGHTS SO SHE CAN NAP. Her light switch is approximately 5 feet from her bed. I laughed and did so but this has got to be just about the laziest action ever taken by a human being.
throwawaybreaks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Checked the delivery status online rather than getting up and opening the door.
KruStyKunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used my golf club as a remote for 2 years
the_ranting_swede ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school, I was laying in my bed taking to my girlfriend on our cordless phone, and I realized I left my cellphone downstairs and needed it for part of the conversation. So I called my cell from the second line on my cordless phone blocking the caller ID (dialing *86 iirc). And moments later my mom runs into my room with my cellphone saying I just missed a call.
I felt so smug in my laziness.
packersfan80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I had...eh never mind I'm too lazy to type it.
slinkywheel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
too lazy to go out and get good ice cream, ate the plain old ice cream in the freezer
czach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I forgot my reusable water bottle and cigarettes at home once, I just ended up buying a new pack and water bottle.
I also have christmas lights hooked up on the opposite end of the room that I sleep so I have a string that runs from the wire to my bed that I just tug on so I don't have to get up when I forget to turn them out.
etphonehome18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would sometimes cook cup of noodles for a minutes because I was too lazy to stand around the microwave any longer. I learned to love the crunchiness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I still use 2 remotes for my tv. One for cable and the original one for the tv because I don't want to do the 2 second google search to get the code for my tv. 9 times out of 10 I turn in the tv and never change the chanel. It has been on the "E" network for the past 2 weeks. My gf was over, I swear.
Satyrna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I threw a shoe at my pedestal fan because it wasn't facing me, the fan blades got stuck shattered instantly and I was hot for the rest.
elsugh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Call one of my brothers or my mom to my room just to have them turn off my light. I'm always taking a chance when my mom comes though, sometimes she'll just glare at me and walk away without turning the light off. Touchรฉ mom, touchรฉ.
caleb675 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
stellarengagements ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was pretty sick one evening, which had me hocking loogies into wads of toilet paper. I was lying in bed and had run out of said toilet paper. Instead of walking to the bathroom to get more, I decided instead to spit into one side of my pillow, turn it over, and promptly go to bed.
rangingwarr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my mother. She used to call me in from the other room to hand her things from the coffee table in front of her. All she avoided was leaning forward.
pikachumeat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.... brain is hung up on fact that we "DO" something that is "lazy", which may cancel the whole "lazy" thing because we're still "doing" something, no matter how "lazy" it is.
CrookedLink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I rented two books from Amazon back in May for a summer class and had to return them by October 15th. Literally all I had to do was print out the prepaid shipping label from amazon, slap it on the box and drop it off at the post office, which is 4 blocks away from my house. If the package was postmarked any later than the 15th, I would be charged the full price of the books (~$350).
Well October 15th comes around. Its 5pm, and I know I have an hour before the post office closes. So I log on to amazon to print the shipping label, and notice that for only $27.91I can extend the rental of these two books for which I now had absolutely no use for. You bet your ass I paid $28 dollars to postpone that 10 minute walk an additional 2 weeks so I could get back to my law and order:svu marathon.
scooter9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I walk my dog by letting her out and hope she comes back
light50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
facebooked my wife to come over here and type this
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once 'Shazam'ed a song that was playing on my laptop through iTunes because i wanted to listen to it later and didn't recognise it. I could have just turned around and looked at the screen.
DimitriV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's a trick question: if you did it, it wasn't lazy.
Exxile4000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I really didn't feel like going to school one day so I took my shoe in my backyard and buried it in a hole. I told my mom that I couldn't find the shoe. Then I magically found it once school got out.... good times.
voodoo86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
knot353 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
My light switch is a little over arm length away. I recently super taped a string to the switch so it would turn off.
I have watch every episode of family Guy that is available on Netflix at least five times because Im too lazy to find another show to watch in my free time.
Speaking of netflix, you know when that message pops up asking if you want to continue watching? Well I've been to lazy to find my mouse so I could continue, and just take a nap instead. Most the time to find my mouse I don't even need to get out of bed.
Also my phones dead and the cord is about 5 feet away plugged into my PC. Its going to stay dead.
Johnfromwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of changing my cats litter I buy about 20 $1 cat litter boxes and just throw them out when they're too full.
joelwhyrock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to miss a trip to the ice rink with some friends because of a night class I had. They left about 20 minutes before I had the class but I never got up to leave. I wished I'd gone with them so I grabbed a case of beer and started drinking while I waited for them to come back.
GuyFawkes99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spent years eating off paper plates and plastic cups so I would never have to wash the dishes.
sunshinesfine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
make my boyfriend pick my wedgies all the time.
Manggo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I routinely throw out socks and just buy new ones instead of going through the trouble of washing them. Same with very dirty dishes. Plate has too much dried food to clean easily? I'll just pick up a new one sometime this month.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I take showers at night and this one time I was way too tired to put the boxers I had later out in my bed. Would have required 5 seconds to put them on. Way too much work so I slept naked. Totally worth it
hongkonghonky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The great thing about having a 3 year old daughter is that everything is still exciting for her.
"Daddy needs a beer from the fridge"
"OK Daddy"
Demonscour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I can pick it up with my toes; I Do. I mean anything. If I'm doing laundry, clothes, if I'm gaming, controller. If I can avoid like, leaning over, I do. Always. When I went to "work" at my sons pre-school (It's a community school, so every parent "volunteers" time) I bring a dustpan that you don't have to like, get on your goddamn knees for.
Then I take it home, because... It's mine.
I'm going to get them one, but like, for Christmas. Sorry, I mean for "Holiday present giving time", because you know, there's some Jewish people. No fucking Krishna or Witness people though, thank my knees.
jyao92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Check the weather on my phone instead of walking to my window.
ironicallysad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel my muscles relaxing and my body drooping just from reading this thread.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spilled a bit of water on my desk. I was going to go grab a towel from the kitchen to wipe it up but instead I grabbed a used pair of boxers from my floor instead.
Brymstone72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I broke the spark plug on the lawnmower when I was a teenager when my mom told me to mow the lawn or I couldn't leave the house. I told her it wouldn't start, naturally she didn't believe me and tried to no avail. It would have taken me less than an hour to mow.....
ethosaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I will finish this comment la
Reallykrappy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I refused to leave my spot on the couch and wanted to play a different video game so I stepped one foot on the glass table next to me to reach it. I got 7 stitches and some awesome scars. I regret nothing.
CorpCounsel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an attorney, and in the contract I was just reviewing I needed to change the payment terms from Net 30 to Net 45. There was a single paragraph that used (30) three times. I wrote 45, and then copy/pasted it into the other two instances.
Thereby saving myself 2 total keystrokes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I failed a class because I was too tired/lazy to wake up and go write the test.
mongoosie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I drove 80m from caravan to Toilet....
hidajua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
was smoking in my car in the parking lot of my uni and had to piss but was to lazy to move so I pissed in a 1 L bottle and left it in the parking lot
Iknowright_iknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had some thing good to post of how lazy i am but i won't post it cause I'm lazy
ihavapigdenis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went to make bisquik biscuits. Ate the batter because i didnt want to wait for them to cook. It's basically salty flour and milk mix, so almost like cookie dough. Except not.
-d33jay- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a roundabout and had to turn right but there was alot of trafffic in front so i drove in the opposite direction through it, I was way too lazy to wait
Deirbhe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bugs are always getting on the tv screen on my outside porch. Decided to tie a washcloth to the door handle by my chair attached to fishing line. Now I can just throw it at the bugs and pull it back to me instead of having to get up to knock em off.
idunnomyusername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This attempt for karma.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
didn't eat because i was too lazy to go out to get food.
moysayss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
former nanny of 6 kids here.
We played this little game called "I'll time you! Ready...set...GO!" they will do anything as long as it's timed. When they get back I'll just make up a number.
qmanoulton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a disgusting friend literally pisses himself in bed when he can't be bothered to get up to go to the toilet. Then he just lies in it. His girlfriend sleeps in the bed with him when she stays.
Gonzotron5000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My wife decided the easiest way to move the dishes to our new apartment was to pull the dishwasher rack out of the washer with all the dishes and load it up into the van. Still cracks me up when I visualize it.
MonkeyToeses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend and I were sitting on his comfy couch playing nazi zombies, and argued for a good couple minutes about who should walk across the map to hit an objective, both of us were too lazy to walk across the map... in a video game
wiggles89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Piss jugs, in HD of course.
Dyshin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to post a story about playing a lot of video games, but that seems like a fucking Triathlon compared to all of these anecdotes. How do you people gather the energy to breathe?
faithealer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I...uh...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I text or IM someone who is in the house instead of getting up to go get them.
Guile0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. I was too lazy to do something.
Galphanore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been tired enough to want to go to bed for 45 minutes. My bed, however, is 20ft away and through a doorway so instead I'm sitting here reading a thread about being lazy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was taking a bath when my alarm went off to take my birth control. It was in the cabinet above the sink and I didnt want to get out so I called my roommate in the next room to get it for me. She did.
NothingRightNow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Took my dog on a drive around the block instead of a walk. He didn't seem any less delighted.
steelerkadaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downloaded the Microsoft smart glass app so I could browse nextflix without putting down my phone.
Alactrian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
McDonalds delivers in China.
gibbdash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my wife to type up this response..
(fucker.)
Lordxeen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had to pee, shower stall was next to the toilet, lid was down, peed in shower rather than lift the lid.
stoicsports ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
didnt feel like getting out of bed; rolled over and peed out the window instead
digitalmonkies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Checked the weather website to see if it's sunny outside, rather than opening the blinds.
TorrenGraf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Browse reddit all day
Rigamix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working in Norway, I was sharing an appartment with some strangers who I never saw, and I was too shy to go talk to them or even share the kitchen with them, and way too lazy to go eat outside..
So I spent two months eating canned spaguettis and ravioli that I cooked "al dente" by putting the cans on my old and rusty room heater. Only the bottom part was tepid but weirdly enough I became addicted.
Now I only eat canned food. Help.
Animorganimate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Decided to live because I couldn't be bothered to look up a "How-To Tie a Noose" video.
lordhaystack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Considered posting in this thread then fell asleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only ate one meal per day because parents were on vacations.
It was fast food
BlackMagicFine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lay around and do nothing? Sleep in the middle of the day??
On_A_Hot_Tin_Roof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Read this thread, was reminded that I should be writing the essay that's due tomorrow... still not gonna do it. Plenty of time between classes.
reallydarnconfused ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in college, and me and my roommate got pretty drunk during a party. I did a crawl around campus, but my roommate went back to the room and called it a night. He really needed to piss, but my dorm has communal bathrooms, so the toilet was about 20 meters away from our room.
Instead of walking to the fucking bathroom, he decides to pee into five cups of brown, ammonia filled goddamn disgusting piss.
I couldn't figure out the fucking smell until three days later when I found the cups...
Still in the fucking closet.
And the worst part is that we were too lazy to throw them out for a whole week.
LoonyLov3good ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spilled milk on the counter, picked up my cat and held him there until he licked it all up.
unknownchild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not my laziest but my best freshmen college speech class night before i give my speech i need a subject and i need to write it by midnight i had it "bad study habits" looked up things you should do as half my speech then used example from my life as the other half i got a 97 on it
Cmyers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Xbox, play next episode! XBOX!!!! PLAY NEXT EPISODE!!!!!
ConkerBirdy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once went to bed hungry because I was too lazy to make food.
damon024 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
was about to write a long comment but decided it wasn't wor
Chill_Sam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I order delivery from the place across the street. Pay with a credit card.
Spiderette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to sleep in my car for an hour every day after work because I was too lazy to walk inside my house and go to bed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Most recent one happened today. I'm home for Thanksgiving break and didn't want to get up from bed. Called for my brother (who was in the middle of a conversation with my mom) and I asked him to bring my leftover cake from the Cheesecake Factory so I could eat it in bed.
Atmosck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was watching netflix in bed on my desktop computer ~4ft. away from the bed. Rather than get up to change the show, I controlled my desktop with LogMeIn from my laptop.
themightythor2024 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
so one week in college my roommate falls asleep with a freshly microwaved simply asia on his lap. naturally he spills all over the futon. so he flips the matress over. 3 weeks later he does the same thing with ravioli, all over the mattress. so i come and and im like why dont you flip it over. he laughed and told me about the other spill.
Mcmacladdie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be able to browse the internet, watch TV, and cook lunch for myself without having to get out of my computer chair in one house my family used to live in.
barrygusey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't want to get caught in hide and seek and have to wander around in the dark, so instead of getting found, I just pissed myself.
maxprimemusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove three blocks instead of walked... in a video game.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pee in empty wine bottles in my room because I don't want to walk to the bathroom.
OneMulatto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called off of of work. Just because.
BlueWolf07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
gereblueeyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid , my Mom yelled for me to come out of my room to change the tv channel for her. She was in the Kitchen watching the tv in the living room 15 feet away.
Agent_Ozzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Using voice unicorn instead of using the keyboard
jenbenfoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I moved into a new apartment about 6 weeks ago. I know where I want to hang pictures and such but have not even taken them out of the box, so a giant box of wall hanging stuff is sitting in m living room with a bunch or random crap on top of it.....bought a desk calendar which is still wrapped in plastic, sitting on the floor in front of my desk, which is covered with random stuff I can't be bothered to put away....my desk chair is being used as a makeshift table....and yet, I managed to organize my makeup in the drawer in the bathroom.....
hokum_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to reach remote, watched 4 hours of Chinese TV. I only speak English.
youhavefuckedmeagain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Peed the bed because I was too lazy to walk 10 feet to the bathroom and then I went back to sleep
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
patchmane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:33 on February 14, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
LOL!!! WOW you really are so so chill!
noonesperfect16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On my lunch break at work, I move my car to the closest spot available to the building. There have been several times I have moved it one space over to save myself a few steps.
bmwatson132 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll sometimes just wait to download "the walking dead," even though if I just got up and went into the other room, I could DVR it to watch later
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS?! I'm procrastinating so that other people will skip the commercials for me so I don't even have to press the fast forward button on the remote, I could easily finish the episode before I even find a good torrent, but I still just do absolutely nothing until I decide I want to watch it right then, then I watch it download
Reptillianfileclerk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to go on a canoe trip with like 20 of us and we did as little as possible. We put put booze in eachother's canoes so we would not have to sit up to get fresh beer, we could just reach over.
Also years ago a girl I was with somehow started my bed on fire, probably cigs as we were drinking heavily, and I woke up and the mattress was smouldering and she was screaming for me to help her but I told her I didn't care, and went back to sleep on the burning mattress which she apparently dealt with since I'm alive.
tobetheone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reading the front page stuff since 6 months, too lazy to open an account thinking I'd get confirmation emails. This is my first comment though.
EmptyForms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't sleep because the light was on. Shot the bulb out with a bb gun.
MickeyStrauss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely nothing for 21 years straight.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Text my family from my bedroom, while they're in the house. My house is tiny.
ScarfacedTyrant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not go to school... I'm fit as a fiddle.. not ill, woke up at the right time but just didn't go.
It was the best day
blackaurora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger, I rigged my room so that I could turn off the light from my bed on the other side of the room by pulling a string. It actually worked for awhile until my parents complained about tape on the walls.
Today, I had two projects/papers due as well as two tests. I didn't start either paper until yesterday, and I didn't study for the test until an hour before class. I didn't study for the other test at all, and I've been to that class once since the last test. This is normal for me. I still maintain good enough grades to qualify for my state's scholarship, though.
Santander91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
thespickler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went back to college for engineering so I wouldn't have to be a line cook for another 10 years. Liking the desk job now.
Aikidi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I moved from my last apartment, I put my desk (pieces) in the back seat of my car.
Stayed in the back seat of my car for 15 months. Eventually I threw it out and just got a new desk.
kahuna08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was having a girl over for dinner and a movie. Started cleaning my house and doing a good job. Then i got into the kitchen and saw how it looked in there. I'm sure some of you know what it can be like as a bachelor with a full time job and no dishwasher? Well it looked like Berlin in 1945, so i panicked, put all the dishes in a black bag, and hid that bag in the basement of the building.
I had 4 hours before she would come by but i couldn't be arsed to clean that shit right then.
"You only have two plates?"
petcson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I figured it was time to eat after not eating all day and sleeping till 1pm. So I opened a can of spagettios and instead of putting them in a bowl to microwave them I just got a spoon and started eating them right from the can. I didn't want to have to wash a bowl and waiting a minute and half for the microwave was Way too long.
wickedpixel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend lives across a tiny street -- really more of an alley -- from a thai restaurant. His front door is at most 30ft from their entrance and they park their delivery cars in the alley in front of his house. We've ordered delivery from them.
HanksNeckBeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't make a lunch for work. So after work I was weak and lazy as fuck. A junkie started shit with me. I was too lazy to fight back so I just took the beating. Got up and continued to walk home.
sneez09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just got a new laptop and decided I wanted to watch Netflix. I had been using a Netflix account that belonged to a friend but I couldn't remember his email. (Checked facebook, checked my contacts on email, him and his wife were both not online). This meant to continue getting free Netflix I would have to get up and walk 40 ft to my phone. BUT! I had my debit card in my pocket. So I signed up for my own Netflix account so I didn't have to get up.
TLDR:I spent $7 a month to stay sitting on the couch
Nastebob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some of my friends where outside and the door was locked i was right next to it so i asked someone down the hall to open it.
ucbiker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Checked used underwear for skid marks and worn them again. Told myself I'd do it just one day and do laundry; went for a whole week.
Hindu_Wardrobe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, currently, I'm too lazy to get up and go to bed.
kaizerdouken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was so hungry one time that I grabbed an Empanada from the fridge and started eating it because it would take me 5 minutes to fry it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have an old curtain rod that i sleep next too which is just long enough to hit the spacebar so that i can keep watching Netflix and don't need to get up. I call it "my Netflix stick" ...
Shapmandu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was sitting on the floor between my couch and my bed. I got sleepy and cold but was too lazy to climb up into bed or reach over to the couch to grab my blanket. So I ripped the drapes off my windows right next to me and curled up for the night.
Sergnb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
pretty much my entire life is one gigantic "Top 1 lazy moments in history" highlight
anywaybutup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my friend played a game of rock, paper, scissors vocally rather than lift our hands
clrsky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
the laziest thing ever done .. nah to lazy to type it :p
yopo143 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i piss in my kitchen sink instead of walking up 10 stairs to my bathroom
EmergencyTaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I needed a pen to sign something, but I couldn't find a pen after my first 30 seconds of looking. In order to remedy this I ordered a pizza for delivery specifying credit card payment, and when the pizza guy got here I asked if I could borrow his pen and used that to sign. I ordered a pen.
virtueandsin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
heat up a hot pocket under my arm in college because the microwave was 2 floors down and outside. It didn't work and I basically ate it frozen. Same with a hot dog once.
mfink11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought brand new underwear because I was too lazy to wash my clothes.
ultrafilthy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit stain in toilet bowl, just blast it with piss. Never cleaned ever.
sunglasses24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Left my computer on the entire night, since I was in bed already and didn't want to turn it off.
PvtToonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove to class, parked in the back, back door was locked, went home.
Dysl3xicDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched Avatar on TV that had already started playing with commercials when the Blu-Ray disc was 2ft away from my feet.
andybakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not moved
real_nice_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
25 episodes of West Wing back-to-back in one day
fight_for_anything ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom.
The_Gooch_Goochman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
CarlaWasThePromQueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Amazon primed toilet paper with 3.99 overnight shipping. It was cold, I didn't feel well, and I had half a roll left, enough to get me through to next day. I did this recently.
free187s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stayed in bed the entire day, only to get up for food and bathroom.
Blatanlyblazed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do my laundry carry it 10 meters too my room then drop the laundry basket in my closet. Once it slides shut that laundry is never getting hung up I will use the basket as a dresser picking clothes out for the rest of the week directly next too my shelves and hangers.
ProfesorJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
4am, should go to sleep, don't go to sleep, masturbate
theodore_lacy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rolled off my bed, stayed there. Sighed.
SumoGuyNo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Finished college, cbf doing anything after that.
Moved back into mom's basement, took the whole 'year off life'. Whole year, slept all day until 6pm, stayed up all night till 8am on Evony and other stupid online games. Had money saved, bought a brand new car, never drove it cos I was too lazy to learn as I never had my license. Left window down, rain got in & rot the seats. Didn't know for months coz I never went outside. When I found out, sold it to the repo dude for about a hundred bucks coz it had moss in it and couldn't be arsed cleaning it. Lazy as fuck.
BruceTarquin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jizzed onto the t-shirt I was wearing and threw it into the corner of the room instead of getting the tissue at the other end of the desk. I'm not sorry.
project_apex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Heard the DHL guy ringing the doorbell with my new tablet. Really didn't want to get up and just let him ring.
but then I had to go to the store to pick it up...
gamesbeawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
KillaRevenge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't as lazy as some people, but I had the twitter app on my phone and it updated so I had to log in again. It was too much work so I just deleted the app.
prathamsai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed out the window because I didn't want to wait for my mom to finish brushing her teeth.
papageorgio120 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of times I'll leave leftovers in tupperware containers for too long. Then throw away the containers when the food goes bad and has been sitting in my fridge for a month or more.
4clvvess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching a movie at home with two other guys, and we put a pizza in the oven. I was so hungry that when the timer went off and I took it out, I grabbed the pizza slicer and only cut the lines necessary to get my piece. It's common courtesy that whoever starts cutting the pizza has to finish cutting from every angle, and I knew that rule and I said screw it. I cut the lines I needed and I took my place on the couch.
kattmedtass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I saved an article about battling procrastination to my "Read later" list.
Beryllium_Nitrogen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
stayed in bed for 48 hours because I was depressed as fuck... why bother getting out of bed if my life is shit.
I'm in a better place now.
fidelay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't feel like making coffee the other fat so I walked six blocks in the rain to get a cup of coffee.
Farky16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
dropped a pen at work, used the pneumatic chair to lower me to reach it
gamesbeawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After looking through the thread. I ain't that lazy. The laziest thing I have done is not take pop cans out of my room. Just kept them stacking until I would knock it over. Then I would clean it up.
pimpletank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to catch a bus quite regularly, to go from my local shopping centre, to my old house - 0.3 miles away, (about 0.5km I think!?) It was on the same road, from one end to the other! Cost me ยฃ1 standard base fare each time! But that hill was so damn steep!!
If anyone is interested (heck, I know I would be!) on Google maps, it was from Passmores Solicitors, to the Tynewydd Inn, Barry, South Wales!
quadguy2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A previous company i worked for as a telecom engineer had daily 1-2 hour operations conference calls starting at 8am. Luckily we were able to take the calls from home or on the road so that softened the blow. This unfortunately wasnt enough for me. I ended up writing an application that would call my cisco phone next to my bed at 8am, forcibly answer the call, then dial out to the conference bridge and enter the pin, play a recorded message of me saying my name and then record the conference call so I could play it back at 2x speed later to keep up to speed. The only think i couldnt figure out was how to wake up when someone was asking me a question in the middle of the call.
uncleslam7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
was at chipotle with a friend once but wasnt hungry for a burrito so i had jimmy johns deliver me a sub from about a block away
Djbearjew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had just started Nuclear Field A School with the navy was in school for 12+ hours a day Monday thru Friday. Suffice to say that once school and studying where over (we weren't allowed to take study materials out of the schoolhouse because everything was Confidential) I would be exhausted and just want to go to bed. Well one day I ran out of toilet paper and didn't want to take the 10 min round trip walk to the Mini Nex....for 4 days. Everytime I would go to the bathroom I would just shower it off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was laying down one hot summer... My shoulder started itching, so I scratched it with my teeth so that I would have to reach over with my hand.
ScottyUK22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Made a drill fork to eat spaghetti with http://youtu.be/9qo6uy06k5o
box-of-stars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but I live in a really cold place and it's somewhat common in the winter to see people driving their nice warm cars really slowly down the street with their dog jogging alongside. Instead of walking the dog.
The_Real_Brandon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had strings tied to my door knob and light switch, so I could open and close the door, or turn the light on or off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tipped my monitor sideways so I didn't have to sit up.
I_count_ducks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I multiplied by ten with a calculator.
I_Should_Pee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live in the basement. The washroom is upstairs. Seemingly harmless bad habit turned into kidney stones.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went to my open book corporations law exam having not been to a single lecture or done any study for the whole course and learned the material as I answered the exam questions.
Gonzoco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh fun this should be my thread!
Note: i don't regularly do these things they were just some of the lazy shit i did during highshool mostly
notmycat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: my roommates
super-sleuth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time when I got back from school I dove onto the couch and plunged my face right into a big pillow and almost died from suffocation because I didn't want to get up. It took everything in me to move my head slightly to the left.
Zuex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was playing mine craft after I got my wisdom teeth out this summer. I was busy strip mining for diamonds and I was tired as shit from all the medication, so I put a rubber band on the right trigger so I never stopped mining, all I had to do was keep my thumb pushing the analog stick.
sanchopancho13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a batch script called x.bat that has "exit" in it. That way, I only have to type x to exit a Command Prompt.
pethcir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't get off the bus at my usual stop because I was too lazy to ask the guy beside me to move. That was definitely a turning point in my life.
Diasl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my younger brother. He would lay on the sofa and have his m9rning cup of tea less than half a foot away from him (easily within arms reach). He would constantly ask my mum to grab it for him until she did, even if she was at the otherside of the room.
wu_cephei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was 16yo.
Had to walk 15 mins to get home. Got lazy. Stole a 'kid scooter' (the one you kick to move) .
Arrived at home, threw it in a field.
Yep... I was an ass.
mihaidab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a bit late for this, but when I was in college, I called over a friend to my dorm room, not telling him why. I just told him it was very important. When he arrived I told him to give me a glass of soda from the fridge which was like 6 feet away from me, and he did.
dnplas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
definitely peed in the kitchen sink instead of walking to the bathroom
Clapping_Taco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I normally take a dump, before I shower, and since I'm going to clean myself in the shower anyway, I don't wipe and just wash my ass crack in the shower.
bulldogdiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing, sweet sweet nothing...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
4th day into having the Flu I was so fatigued I stopped getting out of bed for anything except to poop... At 2am in the morning I puked all over my pillow and instead of doing something about it I just flipped the pillow over.
starfox1o1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't be bothered with holding my iPod up for a duration of a Netflix movie on a charter bus, so i removed my shoe laces and tied it to the back of the chair in front of me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pee in the sink sometimes.
johnkalos66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Saved this thread to read later.
caoimhiin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
spent 6 months 'looking for work'
Phillipfry2999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I only read comments that are two lines or less.
deanresin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My television was downstairs and my bathroom was upstairs. I pissed in my empty drink glass and then brought it upstairs to drain only when I was already going upstairs anyway to avoid an extra trip.
superboredtoday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got one of those remote switches for my light taped right next to my bed.
Aadarm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live about 30 minutes from town, and only one place delivers and that's because I know the owners. I will call and order stuff just because I want a soda and don't want to run and get it.
Synchrotr0n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was hanged over and my head was hurting like hell. I was tired from going to the bathroom every 5 minutes to only vomit bile since I had nothing left inside my stomach anymore, so I just started doing it on the floor a few steps away from my bed.
After that my stomach finally gave me a break and I went back to sleep with all that vomit inside the room. It didn't occurred me hat I could use a bucket to make hings less messy.
BuckwildBeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I set my alarm clock across my room at one point so I would actually HAVE to get out of bed and go turn it off. So I immediately proceeded to start walking on my hands every morning to get over to my alarm clock without my legs having to touch the ground at all.
kaffeejunkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched a movie with a friend. It was seperated into two parts. No one would get up to change the dvd, so we watched the first part again.
mollypaget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate and I constantly text each other when we are both home in our bedrooms. We share a wall.
Sapias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
macabrebanana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Decided to call my mum in the next room with my mobile phone to get a glass of water. Needless to say, she didn't see the humor in it.
I_Have_Hairy_Teeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mouse was about 6 inches out of my grasp. Used log me in from my iPhone instead.
neffs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Installed Teamviewer app, to shut down the PC while I was laying on the sofa.
_Steep_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a problem with buying a snack and then downing it in one sitting (whole bags of chips, candy, etc). It's unhealthy. Luckily if I push the snack just out of my own reach, I'm too lazy to get up to get it back. Problem solved :(
Iamdayana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've had terrible hives along my arms and thighs for weeks because I'm too lazy to take the medication and put on ointment.
SP1993 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sat here for 2 hours instead of studying while eating pizza and hot cheetos
motorhead84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was wasted in Mexico, crawled into bed with two friends and threw and ash tray (left-handed-I'm a righty) at the light, shattering the bulb and the ashtray and strewing glass all over the floor.
We let the maids clean it up.
STD69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I rigged up a system of fishing line and hooks to be able to turn off my light while laying down in bed. Just for when you know you are too comfy to get up.
spacemanxxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I added soy milk to my cereal. Ate the whole thing
DBrody6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did my laundry, dumped them on my bed to fold them. Proceeded to sleep on the couch for a full week because I couldn't be bothered to move the folded clothes from the bed to their drawers.
CaptainDread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So lazy...
destroyedinseconds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I got many lazy stories, man... but I'm to lazy to think or post about them. Come to think about it, thats pretty damn lazy in itself
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
BucketheadRules ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Broke a guitar string, instead of getting up and going to the guitar store a mile away I ordered them from Guitar Center online and they got there within five days.
Worth it.
Obligatory G-string broke joke
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pack of cigarettes on the coffee table in front if me, my brother in his laptop across the room. He asked for a cigarette and got no response from me. Eventually he got up to get ine himself when I asked him to give me one himself. I was playing pokemon on my phone.
weeeekend_warrior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time a plate was to dirty to clean so I just flung it into the distance.
jsauce2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought new socks so I didn't have to do laundry that day.
woahhman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spent around 20 minutes trying to switch off the light from the awning outside my window with a mop. Going outside is hard. :(
Ereyno13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whoever was lazy enough to not post anything
THCLM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I routinely call my little brother who's room is on the other side of the house just so he can turn off the light in my room. I can't be arsed getting off my bed.
Lelldorianx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fast traveled in a video game.
original_lunokhod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a home automation system with remote dial-in telephone access... this makes you pretty lazy in itself.
But one morning it was soooo cold that I rang my "house" from the bedside phone (two phone lines!) to turn up the heat on the reverse cycle air conditioner.
swisscheeseee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
flehyam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
let my phone die because I was too lazy to reach over and plug it in.
RockoBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually talking to my computer telling it to type this. So I guess this could count as lazy.
Oh, and.. one time at school, there was this girl about 5 feet away from the door. And I held it at first, but then she started talking to her friend, so I just let the door go.................................
ApplesBananasRhinoc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I thought of an ingenious pulley system to open and close my bedroom door from my bed in order for the dog or cat to come in and out without me having to get out of bed every &(%^%%$ time. After 20 years I still haven't gotten off my ass and installed it. Too lazy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me... but back in highschool once, I was in my friends basement watching TV. She was too lazy to get off the couch to get the remote, so she called her mom (she had her cell phone) and said she was hurt in the basement, and please come downstairs. Her mum was super pissed to be terrified all over laziness and a remote.
mossy56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downloaded the smart glass app for my xbox because I was too lazy to get off the couch and start the next episode for netflix.
Duffman5755 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman year me and my roomate would piss out the window or into our sink becase we were too lazy to walk all the way across the hall to go to the mens bathroom...
Always_Deceptive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've had since the beginning of august to do a simple 1 page essay. It's due monday and I haven't started.
Lyngbouilloside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Write half of my name on an (important) application form then stop and say "I'll finish that later".
SimonInVietnam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once got up to go to the toilet, on the return journey I couldn't be bothered getting into my regular double bed, so I lay down at the base of my bed and passed out. My housemate saw me in the morning and thought I'd hurt myself, gave me a kick and burst out laughing as I stirred.
I've also gone to bed with my shoes and helmet on.
Alcohol was a major factor both times.
ThugLife_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is next to me when I wake up so I don't have to get up except when I need to go to the restroom. I got the mini fridge, laptop, phone, lamp, and remote control next to me. Anyone else wanna top that?
Doomahh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got back from the gym about an hour ago and said fuck it I'm not going to shower. I stink but I'm the only one that has to smell it
FlyingSpaghettiMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't eat for 3 days because I was too lazy to unpack a microwave.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One I went to get mcdonalds for lunch and they told me to park in the carpark and they'd bring it out. Half an hour later they still hadn't so I called the store from my car outside. My excuse was that it was so busy I didnt wanna line up again inside to complain.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this thread makes me feel better about myself
roaming_bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reading all these makes me realize that I am not a lazy person at all!! YAY!!!
sayoonarabob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spilt whiskey, then used bread as a paper towel. Almost got me laid though, can't complain
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Im wearing my comfty basketball shorts for 6years now. Even in the snow
potgrammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My laziest would be way to embarasing but up there is that i buy disposable knives, forks, spoons, cups, plates, bowls etc so i can just throw it out instead of washing up
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once screamed the whole time during the movies. My balls got stuck in the seats and just couldn't be bothered to get up.
Heh.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when I'm drunk while at my friends house, I pee in the sink so don't have to go downstairs/upstairs to the toilette.
nukethem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
PurpleBigfoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing ! Zzzzzzz.....
acosta442002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sit beside my charger while playing ps4, notice my phone is at 20%, don't take the time to pause for 10 seconds and plug in my phone. wake up at 4 pm the next day because my phone is dead, no alarm.
currently my phone is at 31%, charger next to me.......
Shup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
Drummcycle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tied a string to the light cord of my celling fan and attached to headboard for easy lights off once I got sleepy.
NothingButAFacade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered underwear off amazon with overnight shipping so i didnt have to do laundry
Anonymoose9311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
seawardboud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In bed on my laptop, I'm just about to buy a game on steam. My credit card just expired so I
SycamoreHill14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Im 22 and I still haven't gone back to school. Ill get to eventually...
kyabupaks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just watching netflix.
Then again, I'm guilty of deviating from netflix - to do this and that. By the time I'm ready to get back to viewing the show/movie... it's timed out.
Story of my life.
Penguin90125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Slept for 19 hours, woke up, turned on the TV, fell asleep about an hour into that, slept another 9 hours and got up to pee, then I just went back to sleep for another 5 hours.
laststandman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I slept on the couch every night for three years because I had a loft bed and I hated getting out of it in the morning. I now prefer that couch to any bed I've ever slept in
Moist_Smear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Neck got sore from holding up head while watching tv while reclining. pillow on other side of couch. Few inches out of reach. Lay head back and fall asleep at 4 in the afternoon instead. Considered mounting TV on ceiling next day. Too much effort.
Miles_Oh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a couple, I guess:
Put the last of a peach pie in my blender because I was too lazy to... chew? (Liquified pie batter/crust/whatever is fucking disgusting. DON'T DO IT.)
Used to swim at a municipal pool regularly with a friend. Rec centre was closed for maintenance when we showed up one day. Instead of driving for ten minutes to get to another pool we walked down the street and bought grilled cheese sandwiches from a food truck (to add, they were maple syrup and bacon grilled cheese sandwiches).
I guess that second one isn't that lazy but I've already gone to the trouble of typing it up so fuck ya.
AssesAssesEverywhere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
tenpoundpen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I gave my boyfriend money so that he could do my weekly grocery shopping for me while I slept. I then asked him to make me breakfast, which he did only because he was also hungry. That is the laziest morning in my recent memory.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use a beer crate as a night stand.
sledge07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
washed my dick in the big tub sink so I didn't have to pay for a shower. it was a dollar in quarters and the closest place for change was a ten minute walk
HyperManFromSpace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to write a full sente.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was the 1990's. I was single with roommates. We were all the epitome of laziness. Our schtick was to buy dishes, use them, throw them away and then go purchase new dishes. They were plastic though, so they weren't expensive.
tacoyum6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Texted my brother to drive me over lunch.
I already ate but I wanted the door closed.
HeDoesntAfraid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I dont clean all the beer bottles off my desk until I run out of desk space and window-sill space and book space and any other surface to rest my beer bottle.
EverythingIThink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
More like what's the laziest thing I've never done
mrs_squarepants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Passing out in my own vomit is pretty lazy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I feel so much better about myself.
knoll42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't done*
SirThwodbottom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 6 I peed under my rug instead of walking the 5 feet to the bathroom. Every. Day. It was one of those awesome racetrack rugs, too.
The_Child_of_Atom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i wore the same pants for perhaps 2 months because i didn't feel like changing and newly worn pants are always too thight which i didn't want to experience. No one knew since i told those who commented that i had 3 pairs since the were my favorites.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
impid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I set a booger down on my phone, in bed, about 2 hours ago. I'm now using my phone and just remembered the booger. gotta find it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This post inspired me to write a song about laziness. I have a nice chorus and while I was writing the bridge I realized I was too lazy to finish. So, unfinished song.
DtheVillain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Put the beer fridge next to my couch/bed in my art studio at school.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Made a super straw so I didn't need to pick up my drink.
HolyHydroBlunts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once melted dipping dots because I didn't feel like waiting for them to melt in my mouth, it was like drinking a fruity ass milkshake.
starlit_moon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a girl our puppy did a pooh in the bathroom. Too lazy to pick it up and put it in the bin, I put it in the cupboard where Mum kept the clean towels. Hours later Mum opens the door and sees a steaming pile of poop on top of her towels.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ghetto rigged cable in my room from the box in the living room, set up mirrors to bounce my remote signal to the box. It worked.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, roommate and I woke up at ~3pm. Ate a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in our pajamas and watched a crocodile show on Discovery Channel for half an hour. Then back to bed. That was our Saturday.
Flinkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine and I like to recount to each other what we call Lardass Moments (my favorite of hers is when she used a pork chop to scrape out the last remnants in a jar of ranch dip). My last Lardass Moment was also extremely lazy...I sat down and was about to make a sandwich when I realized I had forgotten to get a knife. Soooo I used a pork skin to put mayo on my bread. Not my proudest moment, but it was a tasty one.
sarphinius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Friend of mine (number of years ago) was paying bills and ran out of stamps. Didn't feel like going out to buy stamps, so she paid her bills by Fed Ex because Fed Ex would pick up from her house.
1%.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spent my entire extended summer holiday after highschool at home. Watching movies. Porn. Masturbating. Eating junk food. Binge sleeping.
Gained 30-40lb within 3 months. And even after 6 months, I'm still paying my debt.
OnceLucky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Still doing it. I had this pile of clothes on my bed that need to be fold into my drawers. When it was time to sleep, i just moved it on my computer chair beside my bed and went to sleep. The next day, i would toss the pile back on my bed and reddit + games + videos + fap.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The time I...
Fantasticunts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too lazy to sit around and play video games, so I sit around and watch other people play video games on YouTube.
ADomeWithinADome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wash my bedding but become too lazy to make the bed. End up sleeping on the uncovered mattress.
Souluna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The last 10 years of my life...
capntabasco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not reply to this post. oh wait. crap.
aloneinthedeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Not me but I earned a 16gb flash drive(found it in the heap), hauling my moms ex roommates piss bottles out there were 60x2 liters and a dozen or so 20ozs. it was bad... he was shitting in zipplock bags and "tupperware", he had a fish he caught and was going to fatten up, it was in a large pan when it died he put a lid on it. he dated a girl and she had a kid the broke up 2 years before he got kicked out, still had diapers, he put his couch on a pile of trash because it would flood once in a while and let a stack of 1st edition d&d book get flooded and develop black mold. he gave me a computer and laptop, both were overheating because of the fungus flies. we had to tear everything out down to the cement and bleach it.
Soulrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was at my computer, and wanted to listen to the CD I just bought earlier in the day, (ie back when people actually bought CDs,) but I'd left it out in the car, and I couldn't be bothered going outside to get it.
So I downloaded the MP3s instead. Took ages, since this was back when we had dial-up.
wizzlestyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got a 4 cube ClosetMaid (similar to a book shelf except with cubes instead of shelves) at the beginning of this semester. Still haven't built it to this day. About two months ago, I took the pieces out of the box to encourage me to build it. It requires very basic building, has only 7 pieces held together with pegs and glue.
The pieces have been sitting in the middle of the floor in my room ever since I took them out of the box.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't wanna wash my kitchen pans, so i threw them all in the trash
almostjesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not scroll down to read the comments
BNFforlife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gatorade bottles full of piss.... oh halo 2. You magnificent bastard.
buenaflor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I never fin
Clydeicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Learned to code.
li0ns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when i was a kid i used to make my mom brush my teeth for me while i was laying in bed. then she would tell me to get up and spit, but i would just swallow it. definitely not healthy.
TheHarperValleyPTA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my roommate and I got on the bus to go to campus one morning (about a 15 minute ride), and when it was our stop, we decided to just keep riding the bus back to our apartment. because fuck class.
cakegirl8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Took a nap on the floor because I didn't want to climb up into my lofted bed
symbfox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rolled down a carpeted flight of stairs because I didn't want to stand up.
scumbagskool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
is i need to microwave something for 30 seconds, i hit 33, so much faster
Sooopy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Missed my bus stop. So instead of getting off at the next one, I stayed on till the bus route looped and brought me back.
Blushin_Russian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to piss in old wine bottles when I was too lazy to go to the bathroom that was literally right outside my door. I had so many of these bottles of piss in my room, that instead of dumping them in the toilet, I dumped them out my bedroom window.
bruno238 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whole lot of sleeping and doing nothing, didn't graduate HS on time, always submit HWs and essays late. This reminds me of the essay that was due two days ago, I've not yet read the book for it, need to find sources and get off of reddit now.
ImInUranus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.
goofball_jones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm doing it right now.
Swax78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 18 , took my car to go to my best friend's house just 100m down the road. Put it in reverse and drove back home 2 hours later... Sadness...
oneebmalik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had college mid-term on monday, proceeded to stay in my bed, order pizza and watch the entirety of Xiaolin Showdown over the weekend.
Dumptruckfunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.
awb_67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pissed out my bedroom window instead of walking five feet to the bathroom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sleep on top of my sheets and blankets and just cover myself with another comforter. That way when I wake up I don't have to make the bed and never have to wash the sheets since I never lay on top of them. I also have about 7 pillows so I don't need to wash pillow cases until I've used all of them, on both sides. So really, I have 14 pillows in my mind.
JustChris-NL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sitting at my desk, playing computer games.
little_tim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've never done anything...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
That_-_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Almost every time I come home drunk, I'll piss in a bottle and put it under my bed, and leave it there out of sheer laziness for a couple weeks.
IrrelevantGeOff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I check my phone from my bed in the morning to see if it's going to rain. If there's even a small chance, I send a generic email to my professors about having car trouble or feeling sick. I don't have a car and I could walk to every class in under 10 minutes, I would just rather sleep and not risk the rain.
Euclidding_Me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When microwaving food: always repeat digit so I don't have to move my finger to another number. Ex: instead of 2:30 I push 2:22
Mistahrab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Walked into a shower for 2 min no soap or shampoo just let the water run off me did this for three days..
Tizy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called my 80 year old, cane yielding grandmother from across the house so she could hand me the TV remote that was just out of my grasp. I actually feel bad about that now.
ElderMason ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
yeah_uh_huh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Realized how lazy I'd be if I had a dick to stick in a bag or cup to pee in.
Viper007Bond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instant messaging my college roommate. The back of his chair was literally touching the back of my chair. I just didn't want to take off my headphones.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought new socks and underwear instead of doing laundry.
Rage_Mode_Engage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
While some of these are quite funny, I know picture you all as lardasses.
SassyPhilistine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the game, but I have two acts of sheer laziness that spring to mind. There are countless others.
There is a huge pile of change blocking my closet door that is about 10 feet away from my desk. How did this pile come into being? Whenever my cat would rattle the door to try to get into the closet, I would chuck a coin at his feet to scare him off. I was usually wide of the mark for the first few tries. I am often broke, living paycheck to paycheck, but I am too lazy to sort and count the money.
There is a pizza place that is about a twenty foot walk from my front door. I often order delivery and tip extra.
kickababyv2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sat on the couch last thanksgiving while everybody ate cake
until my uncle got irritated enough to get up and get me some :D
anniversary is comin' up
for_drizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had all my clean laundry on my bed to put away later but ended up getting so tired that I just slept on my clean clothes...every night for a week.
beeverlol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I light my trash on fire and let it burn on the porch rather than walk to the end of my driveway. Gives the porch it's nice smoky smell.
ProfDee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Done?
Quantum_Hispanics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probablywritingthiscommentwithoutanyspaces.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A few years ago a few of us met up to go play football, we waited in the lobby of the building where you paid for the pitches. After a while we realised no one had checked if there were any available so I got the short straw and had to ask instead of go up to the counter I rang them ... From inside the same room.
therubyrocket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sucked on my cheeks for a few minutes to build up enough saliva to swallow a pill so I didn't have to walk 10 feet to get a cup of water.
15thpen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In 8th grade I tried to use the Force to turn off the light. I was really into the Star Wars Expanded Universe at the time. My parents came in the room one morning, turned on the light and told me to get up. I wanted to get up and turn it off but was too sleepy and groggy.
So I tried to use the Force. Didn't work.
whatsausernamebro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I woke up late for work and was too lazy to call in sick or late. Never went in. My boss didn't notice.
aWiseMoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One day after school, I wanted a coke. We had no coke. I proceeded to order a small pepperoni pizza and a 2L coke from dominos so I didn't have to drive 2 minutes to a gas station.
catloving ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Coastie_D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That seems like a lot of work for being lazy
speaking_the_truth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was gonna reply to a reddit thread and then i jus...
dnap123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of cleaning my bong, I just used my jet lighter to smoke all the resin in the downstem... things good as new
phism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Use the internet
labecula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used to live on the back side of a Domino's. Ordered delivery once, because free and it saved me having to walk around the corner to the front of the shop. The delivery guy looked very amused.
Yourcatsonfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
Senoide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Jerked off using Windows 7 voice commands instead of a mouse to navigate Firefox.
germinator1313hlz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just mixed a hot toddy in bed. Probably not the laziest, but the tastiest and what's benefiting me right now.
DoubleOhFivePlusTwo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
First two weeks of university I slept in a sleeping bag because I couldn't be bothered making my bed!
damnatio_memoriae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The TV in my room has been on for the last 4 hours. I have no interest in what's on right now, as it's the same 20 minutes of content that ESPN has been spewing all night. The remote is at the foot of my bed, yet I have not bothered to reach for it to turn off the TV.
Fadic4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to open my room window and piss outside.
forcedintegrity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sent a Facebook message to my sister that I would pay her โฌ1 for bringing me a bottle of Fanta from the basement.
FukkleberryHin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I slept in my work clothes because I knew I had work at 3 the next day and didn't want to have to wake up early and get dressed.
Rantaleksi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbated to Google because could not decide what I wanted.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This
jsuhr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was brushing my teeth while on my bed, but didn't want to get back up to go the sink so I just swallowed the toothpaste.
worldlyfellow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had recently obtained a Chromecast which can be controlled from pretty much any device with an internet connection. I was sitting on my couch and had my tablet to the left of me, my computer on the coffee table, and my phone on the right side of me. I spent a good 15 minutes trying to decide which one was closer to me so I could put Netflix on.
HystericalBanana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
mp51669 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Turned on the TV, and then threw the remote on the other side of the bed. Some shitty show came on, so I just watched it because I didn't want to move
rayquaza5000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This one time, I
tyrefire2001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Our living room in the final year of university had a floor board that wasn't screwed down. Cleaning up consisted of raising the board with the toe of one foot (from the couch) and chucking whatever needed to be disposed of into the cavity under the house. Once a month we had to get a clearing stick and push all the crap away from the hole to make more space. We fought endlessly over who who have to do this.
I came home once to find 8 cans of beans And 2 cans of stagg chilli on top of the board, with a note from a roommate saying "I saw a rat in the hole today - this should stop them getting out" the cans remained in situ for 6 weeks.
On our last day in the house we drove 8 big woodscrews through the fucker and never heard anymore about it.
BadgerMcLovin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did nothing, and it was everything I dreamed it would be
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I were going too p
IAmA_talking_cat_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was on my PC and decided I wanted to play a game on my Xbox, but that meant I would've had to get up from my chair so instead I downloaded the game on my PC.
SourRocketJump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Tresher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used to order home delivery pizza shouting the order from my window to the pizza place 1 floor below. Threw down my credit card and gave them my pin so they could pay and then bring me my card back with the pizza.
I also used to take free rides to my parents place when they were out making deliverys.
....Most of the time, the reason i went to my parents was because i couldn't urge myself to cook my own food
PsychoSemantics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove my car to the corner store literally a 2 minute walk away because I couldn't be bothered walking it.
harris101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched an entire episode of Glee because the remote fell under the couch and I couldn't be fucked getting it..
LatexSolarBeef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
tried to type sentence but
Thereasa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always had a ton of pillows as a teen so if for some reason my door was left open and none of my tougher sisters or mom would come to close it I would just start throwing pillows at it.
Thereasa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
*younger sisters
Plazm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For my Grade 12 Business Economics final, I recorded myself reading back my notes and played back the audio while I slept. Just scraped by.
rosieiwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was getting a handjob. Easily could have gotten up to grab a tissue that was about 10 feet away, but instead chose to just enjoy it. Then I had to bust. Didn't have time to make it to the tissues. So, I kind of pushed my girlfriend on her side so she was facing away from me and on the edge of the love seat so I could stick my dick between the cushions and bust. I told her I washed it since then.
Didn't.
Now my aunt sits on that couch every day in her apartment.
HelplessGazelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a rolling chair in my apartment style bedroom. It's a large chair, so I sit on it with my feet up. Instead of getting up to do something, I pull myself throughout my room using the other furniture, instead of putting my feet down to push. I could go all day without touching the floor.
Nightdrag0n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed in the kitchen sink, sober, no one else was in the bathroom. Who needs stairs?
sharpless512 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of removing the cap from a water bottle, I just turn it abit so water can pass but the cap is still on
mosquit0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was doing scrambled eggs for my gf. I didn't do it for me also because I was to lazy to break more eggs.
tamc1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this
jproxduh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend lives in a dorm and was too lazy to get into his bunk to nap.
datalies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use to own a Handy Switch. I miss it very much - whenever I have to get up to turn a light off, I miss it more :c
Illum_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got accepted to a college overseas was too lazy to sign up for classes,
latenightnerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The only reason I saw the movie Gigli is because I was laying on the remote when it came on tv and I didn't want to get up.
Randinus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am ashamed to say I had a cheque lying around the house with approximately $600 dollars in it that I never cashed because I didnt want to go to the bank. I am not rich.
Radille ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I browse my smart phone while laying down, I navigate using the tip of my nose so I don't have to raise my arm. I also open and close my mouth to zoom in and out. Only my lips touch my screen and I know that's still unsanitary but I choose to live life on the edge.
Ponkers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of getting out of bed to turn the out-of-reach alarm clock off, I reached down the side of the bed, pulled the plug out of the socket and slept in.
AnnoyingBlackGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
called the restaurant to send the waiter back to my table
darbbycrash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
had a pound of tobacco ...ran out of paper....rolled cigs with the pennysaver
Paladwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as I left my lecture room doors, I realised I left my keys and my usb stick with all of my coursework on. Left it and waited outside my house for half an hour for my housemate to open the door.
austen007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My twelve year old self threw a glass of water in the dryer so I would not have to do another load of clothes. Mom found out. Grounded.
JaySmellsNice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On the couch watching tv, instead of getting up to check the time, I opened my computer which took about 3 minutes just to check the time and then closing it afterwards.
cream-of-cow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In high school, I wrote my name fast and the m became a series of wiggles. So I replaced the double m with a long underscore. Sa___y. Teachers would respond on my homework, "wh_t?!"
ezpinez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes i click startbutton > computer because i dont want to reach out my hand to press windows+e
Gracesdelirium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I unplug my lamp every night to turn it off because the plug is closer to my bed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stayed up for 24+ hours because i was too lazy to get up and go to sleep.
hellodeeds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Read this entire thread looking for life pro tips.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to write my laziest story but then I got lazy.
CourtshipDate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went 5 days without eating a few months ago at uni because I just couldn't be arsed to walk 20 minutes to go and buy some food.
ShenaniganNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Slept on top of my bed covers for 2 weeks because i was sick of making my bed every day. I used a small fold up blanket that I kept at the foot of my bed during that time.
slowwlol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Read nearly every comment in this thread because i was too lazy to find another thread to scroll through
PleasureGun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy's grandma had a scooter/rascal thing to get around, I was drunk and too lazy to walk to the bathroom. Rode it to the bathroom and sat on the edge of the scooter's chair and aimed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm lazy even in videogames.
oh..I need to walk all the way over there? teleport command.
Oh, have to drive one minute away in the city? taxi!
Swadishfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll sleep in my contacts for days at a time. I have also just thrown contacts away because my contact case is in the other room.
Waldoz53 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a week to write a 500-word essay. I started it an hour before it was due.
ohgodthezombies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I have no one making me eat, I'll gladly not eat if it means I don't have to cook. It's not that I don't like cooking or that my food is bad or that I dislike food, I just don't like cooking for/by myself and would rather just wait till I can't stand it or someone makes me eat. If I'm not in the mood to eat and someone makes me, my stomach just hurts or everything gets a weird texture that makes me not want it in my mouth.
On those days I would rather be left to live off of smoothies until I got hungry enough.
Also with the exception of today. Everyday for almost a month I was wearing these wool leggings my boyfriend's mother bought me as pants and threw on a sweater because they're warm and my closet is literally 99% skirts and dresses. I also went without a bra many a days and didn't shave because I'm flat, thin, and was covered.
josh_c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend was home in bed (hammered) and his TV was on. Instead of getting up to turn it off, he called his cable company to cancel his service.
Gloff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I texted a friend a space (blank text) to signify lets go to the bar. He understood and sent me an "aight". This is now our universal text for the bar.
rv49er ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Check if a package is delivered online before checking the door.
Nevermind04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, my recliner has a built-in mini fridge. So, there's that.
DenverBronco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I threw up drunk on a hotel bed in Las Vegas when I was passed out. Woke up with puke on my face and in my eyes. Turned my head the other direction and passed out again.
Fenastus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just a couple of weeks ago, I woke up an hour later than I was supposed to and the bus was going to be at my house in about 15 minutes, so I just decided "fuck it" and I rolled back over, went to sleep, and didn't go to school that day.
Anothereconmajor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I moved into my new single dorm room, I unpacked everything onto my bed and slept on the floor for the rest of the year.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a remote control ceiling fan and a wifi thermostat. I don't have to get out of bed to turn my fan or lights on/off and I don't have to get out of bed to adjust my thermostat.
Champ_Z ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I'm honestly shocked at how amazingly lazy so many ppl are haha. I think the laziest thing ill do is take the family out to eat because after working 14 hours, I'm to tired to cool a full meal.
Najd7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was holding a plate that had tacos and there was two glasses, one was orange juice and the other was milk. I really didn't want to go back to grab the drinks so I decided to take both with one hand. I ended up dropping the orange juice and a good splash of it went straight into the tacos :(
Slade645 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My massage therapist friend offered me a full body, 90 minute massage for my birthday but I took a nap instead.
zefcfd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
more recently: I got wendy's and parked close to my apt cause i was hungry, and so i wouldnt have to walk far. I pretty much knew i would get a parking ticket but thought: "meh itll just be a few minutes, you can move your car after you eat" i went out after my delicious wendys and i had a parking ticket on my windshield. A $50 ticket, just cause i wanted to eat my hamburger 30 seconds faster.
davidofyork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Submitted a question to Ask Reddit without searching for previous identical questions: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/search?q=what+is+the+laziest+thing+you%27ve+ever+done
Stelfury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
5 months is a long time for new people to have joined and new lazy stories to be created.
fcumbadass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Friend was asking me what an app was called. I was on my tablet and the app was on my phone right next to my head but I couldn't be bothered to pick it up, put in the code and tell him. Told him I couldn't remember.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Did not clean room for 11months and only changed the bed cloth once. Didn't even change,just took it off and slept without it.
acetominaphin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A whole lot of piss talk going on here...
Morgs_huw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
paid someone to order me pizza cos i didnt want to get off the couch and get my phone, or answer the door. well worth it.
zack2491 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought a WeMo
stephenisthebest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
3 reasons why I am a lazy person;
mortuusanima ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Finished the roll of TP. Didn't take it off. Went through 2 rolls before I took off the cardboard roll from the first one.
Televisions_Frank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Book fell off the top of a book shelf, but I didn't want to bend down and get it.
Grabbed the book with my toes and placed it back on the top shelf with my foot.
buzzedaldrine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
as a kid, I went out of my way to not learn any house chores.
if you don't know how to do it, no one will ask you to do it.
my siblings hated me for it.
Miss_nuts_a_bit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Winter, it's maybe -5 Celsius in my bedroom. The heater is 2m away. Didn't care, I just slept with my shoes on.
Similarly, it's winter and 35 Celsius in my bedroom because I fully opened the heater. I had a bug spray in my room which started to foam up already.
more_to_love ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laptop is in front of me... Used Alien Blue to browse reddit because didn't feel like flipping open the screen.
El_Mewo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was sitting in the bus to school and was too lazy to get up from my seat. 7 am, my ass. I felt very comfortable with the 2 hours ride that followed until I passed the school again. But I guess you know what happened then.
unseenspecter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Meh
kblaney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At my first job out of college, I made an Excel spreadsheet that would do 80% of my work for me. I just had to transfer from the computer screen to paper so it looked like I actually did it.
I told them I was making a program that would help keep track of things and do "logistics" (safest lie in the world they didn't know what that was), so whenever I was caught goofing off I could use the excuse that "my code was compiling before I could test it" despite the fact that Excel doesn't compile.
It was actually snowballing laziness at that point. The more I automated, the more time I had to automate more things. By the time I got fired the longest task of my week was the daily commute.
cavistio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used my netbook to play Blast Corps because I was too lazy to turn the TV over to A/V and press the on button on the N64. I had to download Project64 and everything.
zoob32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hit the snooze button on my clock for over 4 hours. I was almost late for my 1pm class (which was my 2nd class of the day).
ililllilililiillilil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Walked about a quarter mile to a friends house with a can of ravioli in hand so he would make it for me.
Shevacai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:17:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing. I nearly inhaled my soda
McLuvinUrSista ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Kept a cum box.
siveme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried once, the smell got to me though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom calls me from her room to do things for her in the house....this is something lazy I know but is it weird?
gypononymous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If laziness were an Olympic sport... I wouldn't compete.
Gorrtan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted to watch TV in my dorm room, didn't want to get out of bed to get the TV remote. Called my RA to grab the remote for me.
YourPersonalButler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back at my old house I had my slim ps2 in my room probably no further than 4 feet from my bed. Instead of getting up to open the ps2 to change the disk I rigged a pole out of stuff laying around my bed. Taped a few rulers together and put a ball of tape on the end, then grabbed q new game with this tool I made and changed my game. Thought how cool it was that did that. Then realized how much work I did to do that when I could have just got up moved a few feet to do all this and would've had it done way faster.
techie107 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, though I was involved. I was at a party with some friends when my mom called from home, across town. She asked me to come home, so I did. When I get there, she calls me into her room and asks me to turn down the heater and turn off the lights. When I was done with the appointed tasks, I asked her why she called me home. It was to turn off the lights and turn down the heater.
Gibellini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but about a month and a half ago when walking to work I noticed a lawnmower about a 1/3rd of the lawn away from someones house in their garden. A 1/3rd had been mowed, the rest still long. It's still in exactly the same spot.
saadakhtar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I call my wife's phone, which is across the bed, to turn off the alarm in the morning.
mrchainsaw361 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Student here. I frequently piss in a cup when I'm hungover and can't be fucked to get out of bed. I don't even have a special cup I just use whatever's in reach. Made the mistake of taking a glug once.
doublethump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. Nothing at all.
jakeuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Most of season 5 of Doctor Who in one day. (it was around 10 episodes, and they are an hour long each..)
_boo_radley_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Began to type story on reddit then gave up because of laziness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched TV for five hours because the PS3 had crashed and everybody was too stoned to get up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be so lazy doing the dishes that after eating, I would just leave them in the sink. If they got too disgusting I would just bin them and buy replacements.
I ate out every single meal for 4 or 5 years and didn't walk into my kitchen unless it was to either microwave popcorn or get a drink out of my fridge. Yes I am male and yes I was single.
sunuvabeach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I leave the broken egg shells in the carton rather than throwing them away
interneb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too lazy to take the time to think of the laziest thing I've done and type it all out.
effin_clownin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mosquito landed on the back of my hand when lying down. Too lazy to slap it. Let it suck so i can go to bed.
jordanlund ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I needed to transfer some files from the server in the living room to the iPad in the bedroom. Problem was the FTP and VNC apps on the iPad can't run at the same time (no true multitasking). I could have got up and walked the 20 or so feet to the living room...
Instead I started up the FTP client on my iPad, downloaded a VNC app for my Android phone, connected to the server and sent the FTP files to the iPad.
Sciar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely cooked some chili, didn't eat it because I suck at cooking chili, and threw the crock pot in the garbage so I wouldn't have to clean it.
Decided that one was probably best to do at 2am, so here I am outside in the middle of the night chucking a crock pot full of chili in the dumpster outside of my building.
qwertyell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paid a friend to make me a bowl of cereal.
It was worth it.
TheManWhoCanPlan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was out of knives so I used a spoon to spread my butter. The worst thing was there was a knife already used with butter next to the sink 3 meters away. I made eye contact with them but couldn't be bothered going for them.
feared_rear_admiral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Doing absolutely nothing for a period of time.
Pantsuz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes, when I know I am going to do laundry, if I have a poop coming, ill just poop in my pants and wash it in the washer later, of it's really bad it messes up the washer but I'm to lazy to clean it, so the next load also is washed in shit water. I have communal washer/dryer. It's an apartment complexes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate and I have created a weekly holiday we like to call "No Chem Mondays". We don't go to chemistry on mondays any more.
huganic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm picturing all the top posts being submitted via Dragon speech recognition software.
iamnotyourspiderman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just quit my second job as my boss called and woke me up (I had planned to do this for a week now, though). Now I've got a huge urge to pee, but instead of going, I'm still in bed contemplating if sleeping more will help postpone the walk to the toilet.
oriononfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once stepped on a sauce packet in my room and it squired on the ceiling fan. I've since moved out and I'm fairly certain the stains are still there.
DarthDanial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbated in bed. Used blanket to wipe
crimsontrinh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered wings from a place on the next block. I didn't tip. Ever.
Chabowski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After my TV remote was broken I used to switch the channels with a broomstick from the bed for like half a year...
kiwikero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can never seem to find clean underwear, and I'm too lazy to find a matching pair of socks. So when I run out of socks and undies, I just buy a new pack. Eventually my husband does laundry and it tides me over for awhile, but then the cycle inevitably repeats itself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this on holiday.
kambian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once, while extremely intoxicated, I decided to shit out of my bedroom window rather than walk the 15 feet to the bathroom. That shit-of-shame sat there on the roof of the porch for years.
Yes. Porch. It is very possible that the neighbours saw a shitting arse hanging out of a window.
LukrezZerg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought a toothbrush 2 weeks ago and still carrying it in my job-bag, because to lazy to get it out at home.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
ChiliManiac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got an Xbox One :P
sliktoss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I
Iceman_B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That moment I realized that I can control MPC via an Android app, while in bed. So uh, controlling MPC with my phone.
espresso_audrey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered delivery from my local Thai place... it's a block and a half from my house.
Stelfury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a chinese place maybe 4 doors away. Sometimes I walk and get it but if I've had a rough day at work I get them to deliver.
A_Spec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used a fishnet to grab my keys from my pants whilst still in bed.
PincushionAffair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote the Dexter series finale
Tundreo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was the morning after a long party. I was absolutely hungover and just wanted to lay in my bed. I was woken up by the doorbell my roommate was ringing constantly. He clearly forgot his keys.
I still don't know how he got in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dipped a cold hot dog into a new bottle of BBQ sauce. No need to cook and clean, just eat! EAT!
farfletched ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a mate that can't be arsed walking in vidja games. EG: battlefield - he'll wait until im much closer to points of interest until spawning on me.
OneEyedCharlie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like to wear shirts with a front pocket on them, so I can put a can of beer in the pocket. then I put a straw in the beer so I can drink without moving
carbonx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom?
MiracleNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Idk if I was lazy or talented but I don't like to keep going up and down the stairs to bring the food up to my room one by one. So I just turn into waiter mode and put the bowl and dishes full of food on the surfaces of my arms and balance them while lifting my foot up to turn off the kitchen lights
TheThingInTheBassAmp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so lazy I took lessons on a player piano."
samwise_420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
cocacola1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Recorded movies on DVR that I already own on DVD/Blu Ray (most notably the first 4 Die Hard movies).
mydarkmeatrises ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like the one when Die Hard was running through NYC with Nick Fury to stop the bombs being set by Simon Sez.
cocacola1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:17:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, Die Hard With a Vengeance. Great movie.
mydarkmeatrises ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I know the name. I just like referring to McClaine as 'Die Hard'
Rastryth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every morning I throw a shirt in the drier for 10 minutes while I shower because I can't be bothered to iron my shirts
frulica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
played some custom map on warcraft, and had a donkey(just to carry cargo). at one point i had to go back to the city and get an item, but was too lazy to do it... so i've sent the donkey, and felt really relieved that donkey could do it instead of me.
yes, i had to select the donkey, and route him to the city, and get him back. dont ask, i dont get it either.
Iloveeuph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didnt want to take gym in high school so I paid to take it online. Yeah it's a thing, no it doesn't make sense, and it was crazy stupid. I almost failed the class because I couldn't be bothered to watch the mandatory lectures. I ended up muting them and watching movies or playing WoW on the other monitor occasionally glancing at the slideshow. I got a B- I believe.
metalfan2680 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought a remote for my macbook to change the music because I didn't want to reach up and press the function keys to change the song.
mattzm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
SSH'd into the living room server and accessed the webcam output so I could see what the weather was like without getting out of bed.
Kongo204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm 3000+ comments deep here, by my girlfriend was too lazy to breastfeed as a baby.
terminal_plant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Keep paying for the gym because I'm too lazy to go there to cancel my contract.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Yes! My time to shine! I quit smoking while being a pack and a half a day smoker of 15 years because I couldn't be fucked walking 200 meters to the shops.
I am still not smoking now 5 years later for the same reason.
Edit: After reading a lot of the comments, I have decided that being lazy is my super power.
Koyoteelaughter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eating multiple bags of chips and drinking soda with friends while watching a movie monster marathon. No one wanted to get up to put the chips away, so I just tucked the two closest bags under my man boobs like chip clips. Forgot they were there and went to bed with them still pinched under there.
ETrinidad0712 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used my cane to grab the controller off the bed when im layimg on the bed myself. Lmfao
AWDpirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was a doorman at one point. The doors could be unlocked from the inside by a sensor above just by walking near it, once it was really late and I was so tired, I threw a hand towel at the sensor to let the resident in.
insinr8r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered pizza for dinner and decided I couldn't be fucked answering the door when it got here. So I called my wife to come home. She got home about 30 seconds after the pizza arrived, paid the guy and brought it inside.
Didn't move from there all night.
verily_bruh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I eat the whole apple so I don't have to throw away the typically gross parts. Stem, sticker, and all.
jrb281 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The most lazy/inconvenient thing I've not done is not sign up for direct deposit at work. It takes way more effort to go to the bank but then again I'd have to find and bring a voided check to work.
Rocketred1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid I loved watching Pokemon but hated having to go to the restroom which was 2 feet away from the room I slept in (my sister's room,) because I did not want to miss anything. So instead I pissed in my sisters closet more than 4 times. I finally stopped when she told my parents her closet and shoes all smelled like pee. Apparently I did not know what commercials were.
FallOut-Man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Made a new reddit account. Subscribed to r/freekarma for some sweet sweet internet pointage. Aaaand I can't be bothered with it.
EmptyShoebox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My former roommate did this: Instead of getting up and going one room over to pee, he kept a pee jar next to his bed.
johntreatsmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Change T-shirt after 4 days. Hoooo .....
kungkedar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
While hungover I took a cab about 100 meters to get McDonalds. They only served breakfast so I waited for 2 hours even though there was another burger joint next door that's even better that I was too lazy to go to.
TrdNPnchBwl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sat thru the entire movie White Chicks, credits and all, because I was too high to grab the remote. Doesn't sound all that crazy, but if you knew how bad I thought that flick was while I was watching...
Stelfury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done a lot of lazy stuff, having a chinese delivered from a restaraunt 4 doors away. Using my phone as a remote for netflix/youtube on my tv, to name a few.
p4nz3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but a friend said at uni to save him from cleaning dishes he bought rolls and rolls of aluminium foil to place over the place and once he was done eating he would just bin the foil.
Amberleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but I remember a previous thread like this. A redditor wanted to watch a DVD which was in the next room but he was too lazy to go and get it so he torrentend the movie instead.
NotTacoBell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Woke up at noon. Went on Reddit for an hour. Got winded. Took a nap. Woke up at 6pm. Reddit. Back to bed. Repeat.
Gabrielsen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's not something I did, but I know someone who called a pizza shop, ordered a pizza, and made them bring it 20 meters to his house.
mattxmortigan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I get too lazy to talk.
TramposchK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was sitting in the room next to me and asked for a movie so I put it on a flash drive, called my dog over, stuck it in his collar and told him to go to my mom.
Jackolope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This was my 18th birthday. I was driving down my street, just heading out to meet some friends. I get halfway down when I see two dogs wandering the street. I pull over, concerned. I get the two of them by the collar, remembering the house across the street owned two dogs.
I get to the door and knock. No luck, so I open their indoor porch and let the dogs roam around it. I knock on the next door and even shout inside, to no avail. Just as I'm leaving, I look sideways at a picture on the wall. It's some very nice artwork of two dogs looking through grass. However, these dogs were not the same breed at all.
"My car's still running, I got beer to drink."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this every day pretty much, to avoid turning thwarting light switch off, i use my bathroom light instead to read. Now that light is turned on by pulling on a string , so what i do is to tie up my phone charger cable and the light string, and once im done i untie them, pull on the light string, and go to sleep
mrkno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wrote a program and made some electronics for a raspberry pi so i wouldnt have to turn the pages of a book at night. Instead it responds to voice and/or eye movement
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:12:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is the good, useful kind of laziness that drives progress.
BoberJr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fly annoying me with flying around me when i went to sleep i slapped her and killed her with my hand was to lazy to go wash my hands becuse i was already in bed just scrached off her body from my hand licked the rest and went to sleep. ps. i was much younger still makes me feel weird a bit
Jendy102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had been turning on pc with my thumb. Broke the switch, had to buy whole new case...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dear. That point in a day where you must eat but are now too hungry to cook.
LordCp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted my friend to come over, but he wanted me to come over. Told him i slept with his sister so that he would come over. And he did
originalgabriel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered pizza (didn't really need it, but I'll be damned if I didn't eat it) and 6 22oz bottles of Arrogant Bastard (didn't really need it but I oh so wanted it) for delivery from a pizza joint across town because I was too lazy (read: drunk) to walk to the corner store.
The look on the delivery drivers face when he showed up and saw that we had moved our entire livingroom setup to the front yard was priceless!
johnbarrymore2013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend! BOOM! BOOM!
In reality, I once brushed my teeth with just the brush and water because I couldn't be bothered to squeeze some paste.
What a fucking tramp.
DeathIceStorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called my home phone to ask if supper was ready.
Dundragon79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Texting my friend, who was on the same couch as me, she texted back, we had a full blown conversation by text, with no one else in the house
whopoopedthebed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Opened a can of soup, looked at the stove, looked back at the can of soup. Ate cold soup straight from the can.
madeanotheraccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ate dry pasta because I couldn't be bothered cooking it.
darthstoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ordered pizza from Dominos and the delivery guy walked it over because it was quicker than driving. Yeah, I could see shop from my living room window.
Kempiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a bunk bed as a kid, without the bottom bunk so as to save room, i ended up just throwing a load of sheets and duvets on the carpeted floor and slept there for about 4 years because i was always too lazy to climb up into bed
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Teleport to Varrock from the west bank on my way to the rune shop.
SketchBoard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too lazy to sit up properly in my chair so I'm hunched back in my chair redditing when I've got not one, but two computers in front of me with reddit open.
ilykdp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You all disgust me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Played dance mat with a controller instead of the mat
cfitz169 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hardly ever upvote anything because I'm always too lazy to log in. This is a rare exception.
Monsoonerator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have an essay due tomorrow and I've been up on this fucking website all night, I didn't start until 1 in the morning. I try to procrastinate even more now at 3, I come back and this is what I'm greeted with? Give me a break I have 4 hours until school!
TimeCadet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not the laziest, but: I wanted something to drink out of but rather than laying a finger on the dishes overflowing from the sink I folded an origami paper cup.
Alex4921 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dropped my phone last night in bed,took it as a sign and went to sleep
Danisdaman12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my friend and i used to play call of duty on his xbox at the mancave for hours. well one day i came over and he was playing skyrim and we wanted to play some wager matches. Neither of us would change the game and we were determined to not get off his comfy couch. We played trials hd on his hard drive for hours...
ptokerT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
While sitting in my room gaming (and stoned, mind you), I'd use my mobile phone to call my home phone so that my maid would pick up the phone and bring me my munchies/drinks because the kitchen is out of yelling distance.
distrctyourself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
left the remote for the tv on the table so i changed the channel by pressing the buttons on the tv with a pool cue
Alundra828 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Never bothered opening the curtains in my gaming room. When I finally did about 10 months later, there was a massive fucking crow that had made a nest INSIDE. I guess he was hot and wanted to get cooler by using my ac. And I could never hear shit because I would walk straight in, put on my headphones and just game for hours without even looking.
anonymous_rhombus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy who didn't graduate high school because he didn't go bowling for a gym credit.
As for me? I once downloaded an album I had on CD just a few feet away from me because I didn't feel like getting up.
Veatchdave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm guilty of both, but the old jerk off, slip off sock technique..... OR!!!!! The old nut on your own stomach, then scoop your load up with your middle and forefinger like some kind if semen scooping scissors... Then, Simply hang your hand over the bed until it's dry... I'm a dirty dirty fucker....
Edit: punctuation and grammar, it's staying tho.
Benutzerkonto1110733 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was really hungry at night, so I ate a cold chili-con-carne out of the tincan with some random used spoon on my table. It wasn't even that bad.
BakaGaijin34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Made soup in a Frisbee. Bowl was dirty, didn't want to wash it. Spoon was dirty, didn't want to was that either. Slurped delicious soup from a Frisbee... About as delicious as cold soup from a pull tab can can be.
JenATaylia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Moved my clean laundry to one side and slept in a sleeping bag cause I didn't feel like putting sheets on my bed
Ninebythreeinch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My harddrive failed. Instead of just buying a new HDD and installing Windows, I went and got a brand new PC.
GazeGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Facetime'd my bf who was upstairs to go out and get me a Macdonalds. We've split up now.
thedyinghero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some of these things are lazy. others are just gross.
Aenzzor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live on the western coast of Norway, i were on a lan with my cousins, they live on an island long out in the sea. There were a storm at the night around 03:00 am and the internet connection went out. We were playing League so we couldnt play anymore and we was tired of Local area games.
We went to bed and i slept for 15 hours to the evening next day to discover that the internet was still down. We went back to sleep and then i slept for another 24 hours, waking up to the internet back up... After 39 hours of nearly continious sleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have my family tie stuff to my pug and have him deliver it to me or I have him deliver stuff to my family. I feel bad but it's either that or get up. Luckily he gets treats so whatever.
tuFuji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I got my friend (an electrician) to install a light switch in my room that can be controlled by a remote. Turning the lights off at night hasn't been an issue for a while now =)
Angrysausagedog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The light globe in my hallway has been blown for around 5 almost 6 years now, there is a globe in the linen cupboard which is situated in the hall, right in front of the light socket.. it would take me literally 20 seconds to open the door grab the bulb and put it in, because it's a double socket chandeleir type hang thing that hangs within arms length and one of the sockets doesn't even have a bulb in it, so I wouldnt even have to remove the old one..
still not gonna do it but..
on another note; My front yard light has been out for about 9 years, and my backdoor light has never had a bulb in it for as long as I have lived here, yet I still flick the switch when walking out at night.. those 2 arent as bad as the hall though, they do require a little effort..
messy-h ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downloaded a torrent rather than get up and get the DVD.
necapew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pick up things with my feet.
korinthia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Lifehacks
alethalcombination ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted ice cold Diet Pepsi. Gas station, grocery store both well outside of the realm of my house and therefore too far away. Order pizza and 2L of Diet Pepsi online, delivered to house. Bribe roommate to answer door for delivery by offering pizza as payment. It would only have been lazier had I had Diet Pepsi in my fridge at the time and did not want to get up to get it. Now regret not lying and saying that was what happened...
zhearsgu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Watched an entire 6 hours America's Next Top Model marathon because I and all of my flat mates were to hungover to find the remote.
Pandamoniumhau5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when I'm browsing the net in bed with my wireless mouse if I ever want to search something ill text it to my email and copy/paste it or copy/paste letters one by one from a webpage just so I won't have to sit up.
NahSoR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm slacking off of finishing a paper that was due last Tuesday
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I eat soup straight from the can because I'm too lazy to put it in a bowl and microwave it. I also eat frozen eggo waffles straight from the freezer cause I'm too lazy to put them in the toaster.
The added warmth to my food is not worth the 1-2 minutes of heating time. It does not improve the flavor.
TheTriggerOfSol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this comment
The_dude_is_not_in ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, couple hours late, but I'll give it a shot:
I have three bathrooms in my apartment. The toilets seem to clog easily, but instead of unclogging them right a way, I just close the lid shut the door and move on to the next one until they're all clogged up beyond recognition... ah the bachelor lifestyle.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I laid in bed for an entire day watching nothing but Pokemon while eating mini Kit-Kats, and only getting up to go the the bathroom.
teh_smurfest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
threw away all my dirty dishes (6 plates, knives, forks etc) instead of washing them =/
SIOS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't feel like getting out of bed to pee, so I picked up a towel that was on the floor, balled it up, stuck my dick in it, and peed into the towel.
sprinster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ask an excavator operator to bring the bucket to my car window so I could collect a sample from the bucket without getting out the car.
gefroh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't want to get off the couch to put a frozen pizza in the oven. My phone happened to be next to me so instead I ordered pizza for delivery.
Thirteen_Fears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely nothing.
GoopyBoots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
the last 2 years of my life.
Turkey__Jerkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I open Reddit.
AthiestCharmeleon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was sitting at his window with his sister, his friend walked past but he was too lazy to knock on the window with his hands, he decided to gently headbutt the window to get his friends attention and it smashed
AvocadoNCatz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well.... Yesterday, I was too lazy to close the bedroom window that is right next to my bed. Slept with wet hair and it was below 50 degrees outside (California). I got sick this morning.
DontTestMeBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once ordered a pizza but didn't have the mental toughness to get to the door.. the pizzaguy left.. no pizza for me.
Yet_Another_Yeti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought tetris on PSN for 15$ because i didn't bother getting up from my bed to get my laptop.
bacon_n_legs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was cold when I woke up for work, so I called in sick. I work from home.
itisafeature ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school we had to write weekly summaries on books of our own choosing, so instead of picking a book I just made one up. It was titled "Fishing for Spoons," a coming of age tale about a boy from the inner city that just needs some direction and his elderly neighbor who just needs a friend.
Chode_Launcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Quit and moved back in with parents because I hated my job when I was 24. Did absolutely nothing for about 3 months, then found better job and moved out again.
QuadCityCEs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
spent the night in my car cause i didnt feel like walking to the apt. just reclined the seat, covered up with my jacket
gilgohn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have the dumbest kind of laziness. Too lazy to buy a new remote for the TV. I feel like I turn it on or off every time I walk by it.
BangDakitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once thought about getting up and out of bed, got tired thinking about getting up ,and slept again instead :(
MrDaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Needed to get some cash for my room mate. Got in my car and went for a 20 minute drive to a strip mall that I knew had a drive through ATM.
Second place: Set up a PXE server on my desktop because I was too lazy to get a blank CD from another room, while trying to install windows on my laptop.
thisisoffal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to text my brother in the other room to get me a glass of water since his room was closer to the kitchen. My room was about 20 feet from the kitchen.
Zanziabar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my mom will call my cell phone and yell at me to come to her room at turn of her light. If I don't do it she will just keep yelling, then get up, come to my room all the way on the other side of the house to yell at me to turn off her light.. you just got up why don't you do it? She does this with the tv controller to.
Comrade_Cosmicov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Still haven't changed the time on the wall clock since the last time change.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to move my fingers to type so i just slammm+ hnibgefvpagvbpb a b
Evil_ash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pretty consistently attempt to use the force on shit like light switches-hoping that I won't have to get up...
lipwiggler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I read on here some time ago about a guy that bought a clap-lamp (you know, you clap and it turns on/off). Recorded himself clapping and replayed it to turn on/off his lights.
EndlessOcean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took piano lessons.
PBlackII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This one time I repli
beachedazd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I know that no one will ever see this but... My cousin would sleep in his school uniform so that he could get up an extra 10mins later.
Edit: Autocorrect is a bitch.
migal00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called my sister to turn my lights off for me. My room's in the basement, her room's on the 2nd floor.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:10:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was the younger sibling. I always wish I had a minion to push around like this, but instead here I am, ten years later, still fetching things.
Riovr4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so late! When I have a runny nose (allergies or sickness, not very often) I grab the closest shirt because walking across the hallway to get a kleenex box is to hard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Vacuum the bread board.
AlieninUFO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I'll leave clothes in the washing machine until they get smelly and mildewy because I'm too lazy to move them to the dryer - Only to have to rewash them. Sometimes the cycle repeats.
jayboysteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Completely made up all of my dissertation as I just left it all too late.
Rickyval6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me: " geez some people are damn lazy."
While Phone at 11% percent yelling to my niece in another room to grab my charger. Which is currently connected in the opposite side of my room -_-
robertobacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was gonna leave a comment, but then I go
18A92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i finished watching something on my laptop, and it was too far away, closed it with a stick
hail_storm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have complained for months about how uncomfortable my bed is, with full knowledge that I have a memory-foam mattress rolled up in my closet. Finally put it on my bed last night, best sleep of my life.
jimmydean885 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wore pants that had a few speckles of vomit on them after i threw up at a party for three weeks...and counting
demilyrose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gave myself a UTI because I didn't want to get up to pee. For like 5 hours.
benjetta96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm doing it right now. It's cold in my house, so I've been hopping around in my sleeping bag all day instead of putting on pants.
Hurion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: People not wanting to piss in a toilet.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't be bothered to wash my underwear so bought new underwear.
SeckTor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to use the force to bring me something, and I mean really hoped it would float over and I wouldn't have to get up.
carter485 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
i_i_v_o ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was in a school mountain camping trip. I think there where five of us in the same room. All about 13 y/o. The light switch was beside the door, but the beds where on all the other walls. there was only a light-bulb. No one wanted to get up to switch the lights off, so the dumbest of us threw an ax to hit the light bulb. He missed the light-bulb, and luckily missed the chump sleeping opposite.
lazaplaya5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't be bothered to get changed for my lectures so I just wear pajamas and if it's cold outside a dressing gown... My nickname is the big lebowski
Kevan_Bacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was actually too lazy to sleep once. There was a clothes basket on my bed and I didn't feel like moving it. So I said fuck it and browsed reddit all night.
Unicornfields ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I came home completely wasted after a night of heavy drinking, walking was nearly impossible. Somehow I managed to reach my bed and just when I was ready to fall asleep, I had to piss, badly. Going back to the toilet was not an option, so I took this big pint glass standing next to my bed. Man that felt great.
When I woke up the next day, I didn't remember much of the night. My head was killing me and my mouth was really dry and sticky. So I found this nice glass of water next to my bed to ease the hangover. And just a split second after I took a big sip my memory came back. That did not feel great.
Edit: typo
fitterhappier04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stayed more or less unemployed for a full year. Racked up a shitload of debt by the time it was over.
pardonator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOrDCpAv-sM
Relevant Mr Bean sketch
mladakurva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once drank a too much scotch when I was 17. On my way biking home with my friend, I fell in the bushes. My friend couldn't get me out of it, but luckily a friend of my sister biked by and brought me home (put me in front of the front door where I fell asleep). My sis came home and put me to bed. She stuck a bucket between my legs so I could puke in that.
Well, I did puke in the bucket, but the moment I woke up and turned around, the bucket fell on the ground. Puke all over the floor. I just vacuumed it until my gf came home. Then I had her vacume it.
conflab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I couldn't be arsed to wipe. Simultaneously the laziest and most disgusting thing I've done I think.
beastablez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I slept on the floor last night because I didn't want to make my bed
raptorak1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can't be bothered to wash and sort socks so just buy new ones every time - 3 pairs for $1.50 here in Beijing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's $1.50 every three days.
$15 a month.
$280 a year.
DAMMIT, MAN.
der_chiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was saving up saliva / spit in my mouth for half a hour because I was thirsty and too lazy to get up.
blubberfest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not even mad; that's amazing.
izzaistaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was on a roll with this program I'd gotten an idea to write in a dream. Had to piss like a race horse, and went in a 2-liter bottle rather than stop, and go to the bathroom.
chessmaster9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My senior year of high school, never did my homework. My friends: "Yo, you want to copy?" Me: "...nah, I'm good. That looks like a lot of writing." I wonder why I didn't get a merit scholarship...
TRBenji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Been 20.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing, literary
WindowsDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
never voted to this link ..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've tried to use the force, several times, to reach things that are literally an inch from my grasp. I spent an hour trying to get the remote from the coffee table to my hand.
kobomino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought a new laundry basket instead of washing the clothes in the other basket. Also buying new clothes instead of washing them sometimes.
BlueHoodie87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spawned in battlefield 2, used a jeep to drive over to the tank.
HuskyLuke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am sitting in a chair beside a low set of bunk beds, while reading this thread I tilted my head sideways and leaned it against the top bunk so I wouldn't have to use my neck; only realised what I was doing and how lazy it was (and that I actually do this every evening), as I was reading these replies and thinking about lazy shit... I may also have gotten too lazy to finish reading other people's replies before chucking in my own.
TL;DR: Stopped using neck.
biggiedan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time, instead of getting out of the couch, I rolled out. I then realized I would still need to get up to get to my destination. I am not a smart man
willielf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Waited for the bus which ended up taking 30 minutes to ride 1 block up the street.
sippher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I'm too lazy to finish my comme
xombem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hate doing dishes. After one bad break up, when he moved out, I just stopped doing them altogether. I think I survived solely on hot pockets. Well, I moved out of the apartment with a box of dirty dishes. And then put them in storage. For 4 months.
wrinkled_nutsack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was tired of going down 3 floors and walking 50 feet to get cigarettes. Quit smoking. Haven't had a smoke in 11 months.
geistworks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I...eh...
sketchybusiness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pick most things up off of the floor with my toes because I can
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eat only cereal with milk for a weekend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh man I'm comfy, but I need to piss so fucking bad"
I pissed in an empty pint glass, not only that but I successfully threw it out the window, didn't spill a drop. (Plastic pint glass I'd brought home from the pub)
eder3g4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ran out of toiletpaper, and instead of buying some new, I took a shower everytime I took a dumb!... which lasted for 3 days.
Now I have no shampoo
Sleepman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in bed with the laptop beside me outside the covers. I wanted to go to a new website but instead of moving slightly and typing I selected individual letters from the page I was already on and copied and pasted them into the address bar. Took forever and I was both proud and ashamed at the same time when I finally got it.
HandyAndy136 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't be bothered trying to decide what TV show/movie to watch, so I wrote a Python program that chooses for me. It took several hours of work. As a result, it was probably the most complex way of solving my indecisiveness...
Ceero_Bro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a statistics test...but my friend had beer...knowing my professor drops the lowest test grade I skipped it...and drank beer instead...With college students I'm probably not the only one that does shit like this
froderick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Taking a shit, too lazy to put my penis through the hole between my legs (it was sitting on top of the edge of the seat at the time). So I reached forward to grab a cup from the sink directly opposite the toilet, pissed into that, then emptied it into the sink and rinsed the cup out afterwards.
TFOLLT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once got too late out bed for an exam in highschool. The teacher gave me an f, but he told me i got a second chance of making the exam. i thought for 10 seconds, then i said;"Nah, just give me that f, i'm too lazy anyway, don't feel like making it." I'll never forget his face.
MikeAppleTree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of washing the dishes, I turned them upside down and ate on the "clean" reverse side.
flyingorange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
About 5 years ago I went camping, on the way home I forgot the tent in a friend's car. Never picked it up, it's still at his place. I even bought a new tent cause it seemed easier.
roccala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have tried to move things with my mind, on multiple occasions.
fortalyst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had bacon & eggs in the fridge & woke up with a hangover on the weekend. Couldn't be bothered with the process of getting up, cooking, or cleaning so I downloaded the pizza hut app so that I could order an Aussie pizza (has bacon & egg on it) to be delivered to me. Promptly went back to bed with the pizza
chewbacca1000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I piss out my bedroom window into the garden sometimes rather than walk 5 metres to the bathroom.
SammichNow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was a c-section birth.
OnWholeWheatPlease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Always end up eating the ungodly portions of leftover chinese food that I tell myself to keep for a later meal just because I don't want to get up and put it in the fridge... Ouch my self-esteem.
AYSanie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Bazzarator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was washing my sheets and couldn't be bothered putting them back on my bed so I slept in a sleeping bag on top of my bed for over a month.
deshe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It was
OneTicketPlease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i make a dual vocational education and training in germany, so we have write each week down what we done, its like a diary about my work wich i need to proof my experience and become my degree.
lazy me hadn't done a simple week in 3 years, so i build a webapp that do all this shit for me :)
JamesDKL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't washed clothes for 6 weeks at uni. Already bought 16 new pairs of undies this term.
chyper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
climb over a table fro an apple rather than walk round it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
chyper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lol it was
Ygdrowen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate and I live in a two room apartment. We regularly call each other on the phone instead of just raising our voices to be able to talk to each other.
sazzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When we were at Uni, I knew someone who rang a friend of his, who's room was 3 floors up, to come downstairs and make him a cup of tea so he didn't have to get out of bed. His room was across the corridor from the kitchen.
What's worse - he actually got away with it!
DrCoolGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes, if I'm really relaxed at the computer and need to type something, I don't want to lean up and use the keyboard or move my right hand. So I look for the letters on the page and individually copy and paste them where I need them until I'm ready to search/go to that url.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This thread actually makes me feel responsible and motivated. Jesus, people, that's bad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: I guess I'm not a lazy motherfucker after all. Comparatively speaking.
ZeroDedication ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I just stay hungry/thirsty because I don't want to get up.
TwistedLyricsRecords ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last week I dropped my phone under my bed, I then crawled under my bed picked up the the phone and promptly fell asleep under the bed.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't this title a bit oxymoronic?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I watched TV shows on the internet on my PS3 because I didn't want to get up and change games.
uiemad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do all kinds of lazy shit. My 2 most occuring are...
I need to pee, but I need to go to work in 2 hours. Ill just wait till I get up for work so I only have to make one trip (my bathroom is like 10 feet away.)
When 3d modelling Ill make a mistake 5 minutes in and think, "I aint doing that 5 minutes over again" that fuck up continues the make the rest of the model a colossal pain in the ass but I stick with it.
Bahlam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I throw my used plates and utensils in the trash can so I don't have to wash them. Also, when I'm out of toilet paper, I look through the trash can and "re-use" some old crusty ones.
Sevzor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wash my dirty laundry regularly and take it off the line as soon as it's dry. However, that pile of clean laundry stays on my bed for weeks at a time and I would just move it aside and sleep to one side of the bed.
My girlfriend has been the only one who keeps folding and putting it all the way when she comes over. I honestly don't remember the last time I've done it myself.
tycul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Woke up hungover and threw up in the middle of my bed. Couldn't be bothered dealing with it then so curled up around the vomit and went back to sleep.
wearethenowandthen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a festival once that didnt allow any glass bottles in. So we had to dump our 4 litre plastic bottles of water and fill them with whatever bottled alcohol we brought.
I had a few bottles of buckfast (mighty nectar) and a couple of red wine (the beers were allowed, phew!). So i poured the buckfast a red wine into the 4 litre plastic bottle and brought it into the campsite without any further issues.
Within minutes, seemingly, I was wankered and in no mood to keep sheparding the bottle around everyone. This drink was to be shared between a few of us so I ended up tying a string to the bottle (it had a handle thanfully) and throwing the bottle around the social circle we had formed, while keeping hold of the end of the string. Then when the other person had finished a swig I could drag it back without moving, which meant I didnt have to faceplant the ground in front of my friends and could still continue drinking.
I was happy with that string on a bottle concept. It served me well.
doitforthelolol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got too lazy to fini
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[Meta] The lack of effort involved to do something doesn't make it lazy, driving 20 miles to work instead of walking isn't lazy even though it's less effort. Something becomes lazy when you sacrafice other things immensely to reduce effort.
revital9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downloaded a movie instead of getting up from the couch and fetching the CD it was burned on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
Dymosthenes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Googled something using my mouse and the On-Screen Keyboard even though I was at my computer because I didn't want to lean forward to actually type it in.
Pano_Rano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Reddidactyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Started to play a movie on my computer. I got on the couch and realized that the mouse pointer was in the middle of the screen. Spent the next 30 mins of the movie throwing everything around me at the mouse so it would move to the corner.
PhilliusFrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not for me But... My old land lady would send me text messages asking me questions. I was in the room beside her less than 6 feet as the crow flies. Just to counter this I'd open the door and knock on hers to answer the text.
CountSauronNawtyPant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The real question is: what's the laziest thing we've never done?
josh112233 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
reading a book in bed. threw it at light switch
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have a paper that was due four days ago. Teacher gets SERIOUSLY pissed if a paper is even ten minutes late, so I faked a fever and skipped school instead of having to see her today. The paper is still not done....
Deejaymil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Housemate wouldn't pass me the biscuits, so instead of getting up, I simply used my toes as fingers and ate them with my feet.
Housemate was a combination of impressed and horrified, and now I have a great party trick.
Bpriceonpluto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had mono in high school. Got a month out of gym by doctor's note. For the next 3 months I told the gym teacher I still had mono. I don't even know how that worked.
darkmooninc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had stomach food poisoning and was laying in bed at night. I wake up and say "Oh no." and my wife is curious what's wrong. I needed to go vomit but I was really tired. So I said "Oh no, no, oh how terrible."
I volcanoed all over myself and then just laid there for a while. My wife was not pleased.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have 4 assignments due in this week, I haven't started or even turned up for class in about a month and i was given them in September, I'l do it tomorrow.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:59:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I dont know, are either of us willing to get up to look in the mirror to check?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Teleporterr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing is the most lazy thing I've ever done.
eunit8899 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Piss in the sink. All the damn time. The whole picking up the toilet seat and flushing thing takes far too much effort.
Sentazar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was this one time....aww fuck it too much hassle to type.
doctordubs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have my keyboard on my lap. using on screen keyboard to type
SaleemPheku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
..................
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sat on the bus for 30 seconds so I wouldn't have to walk the 100 meters or so it takes to get from my house to starbucks.
Dogimed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Farted to scratch an itch
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I waited until the morning my Senior project was due(needed it to graduate), and started writing my paper an hour or two before the bus came. I finished it 5 minutes after the class I had to present it in started, and I didn't have enough time to write anything on a power point so I just used pictures and ad-libbed my speech. Got the highest grade on it, a 97 in my class.
ltfuzzknuckles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once had class and work in the same day, but I decided to sleep in. I had left my phone in the bathroom the night before and didn't really feel like calling in. I worked at 7pm, mind you I woke up at 1pm. Showed up 2 hours late for work after I extended my nap, gave a lame ass excuse about my phone not receiving calls and that I forgot I had to work. I was almost fired but I got about 15 hours of sleep, naps factored in. Good day
thefearalcarrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eugh... The Kleenex box is all the way over there.
Well... my hands are a little dry...
GodOfAtheism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a TV in August. Right now, it's in its box on a TV stand, unopened.
virinix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I queued a 8gb bluray movie torrent. Realized after queueing I've already downloaded it. I just let it download anyways.
prodiji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I designed a pulley system, so i could pull a string and the door would close when anyone opened it.
spmurcs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paid someone $20 to change the tv channel from 4 feet away because I was too stoned to move.
slam50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing...
hitotsuke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every day I take the train to work. If I notice there's no delay this means I'll be arriving at work 20 minutes early. In this case I intentionally stay on the train until the next stop, get off the train, take a train back, just so I wouldn't arrive at work early (and this way I can rest a bit longer).
avg-bro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just care less and less about where I pee in the city now.
Nomunos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordering water at the pizza service
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
12, needed to pee, was playing rayman on the gba. Couldn't muster up the effort to go to the toilet.
A warm, moist rayman session can not be beat.
monopecez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
re-copy-and-paste-ing if one character is not copied.
BLUNTYEYEDFOOL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my wife
Snabu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i drink cold instant coffee.....takes too long to heat up
AssBlasterism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate and I once drove to Taco Bell. It was on the other side of the block from our apartment, probably about 400 feet away if we took the alley route.
Moonlitfear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll tell you lat
tunersharkbitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used Google speech to type this comment. Too lazy to upvote the post.
loganequality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
want to go to google.com. type the letter 'g' and hit enter. even if it isn't an auto fill-in google is almost always where it takes you. also too lazy to hold the shift button down today.
rebelx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:10:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Close, that's GMail for me.
Ryboii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
typd ths cmmnt
StormMFeel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laying in my bed eating cake while watching livestreams on my monitor.
tristanl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
after moving house i couldnt be stuffed putting my bed together...so it was a mattress on the floor, with no sheets or pillow case, for the next 4 months...
VoltageSpike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I use Raidcall to talk to each other instead of taking off our headphones.
charmlessman1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the days of tape players, I had a relatively nice one from the 70s. The Play/Stop/Rew/FF/Pause/Rec buttons were metal rods that stuck out from the front of the deck.
I used to love reading while listening to music before I fell asleep, but I hated getting out of bed to turn off the tape player and turn off the light. So I taped string to the Stop button of the tape deck and the light switch of my room, then ran them to the side of my bed. When I felt myself drifting off, I'd close the book, pull the two strings, and go to sleep. Mmmmm, lazy innovation.
baconworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was really drunk when I was younger living in a share house. Couldn't be bothered walking to the bathroom so I just vomited beside my bed. I ended up putting white out over the stain instead of just cleaning it up...
resilienceisfutile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a Clapper for the bedside light because I could turn on/off the light while lying down.
My wife says, "Why can't you be normal and just reach over and hit the switch?"
I tell her I feel like Ice Cube using the clapper at the end of Friday.
Kakkuonhyvaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching Dr. Who on Netflix and someone asked me to turn down the volume. I paused the video. Took out my phone. Synced videos up. Muted the television. No need to get up for headphones, cause I listened to the video through my phone.
OldWolf2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was doing a third-year logic course at university. It was 50% internal assessed (presentations and tests during lecture/tutorial time) and 50% a final take-home exam that you got a week to do.
I got 49/50 for the internally assessed part (I loved doing that shit so it was easy). Then for the take-home test I didn't know where the place was that you picked it up from so I just stayed home and went on IRC instead. I failed the course since 50% was the pass mark.
Badwolf582 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Click the link my wife sent for this thread instead of hitting the internet button to go back after checking the text.
cryogenisis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too tired/lazy to go to the cafe/store for coffee.
Joe1972 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, a friend: Married a pregnant women... ;)
Not pregnant by him
rafiislost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Looking up the weather on weather.com instead of looking out the window.
MateVeza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was a bag of radishes in the fridge, the open end was facing away from me, so I ripped a new hole in the side facing me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
couldn't be bothered to turn the alarm off ever. so trained myself not to even HEAR my loud alarm clock in the mornings.
yes, it can be done.
Inhumanskills ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have class until 3 on Fridays so naturally Thursday is my "go out and get plastered day". I wake up Friday afternoon around 2:45 decide it's too late for me to make it and I just stayed in bed. Until Sunday...
Simmo5150 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This.
Edit: too lazy too provide a link.
callmeanna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I let my boyfriend skull fuck me because I was feeling to lazy to engage in actual sex
arena_say_what ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
probably missing loads of classes to play wow and ended up getting warning letters for my attendance. Still continued to skip classes to play wow and ended up getting fail grades in all my subjects
Ciderbat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought $200 worth of paint when I moved in to my current apartment. I still have shitty white walls and $200 worth of paint in my closet, 6 years later.
Vulg4r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was hungover one day and really wanted blue gatorade. So i went on grubhub to order from the deli by my house that delivers. They had a 20 dollar minimum. So i just ordered 20 dollars worth of gatorade.
ferociousfuntube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I must be the laziest person alive I do all these things.
CockGobblin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The dishwasher makes a good cupboard as well.
I figure if I buy another dishwasher I would never need to put my dishes away ever. As soon as one is full of dirty dishes, turn it on and you got a cupboard full of clean dishes. Now use the other dishwasher for dirty dishes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Actually started laundry.... but there it is still in the washing machine a month later
Prae7oriaN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Y'all mothafuckas are nasty.
grantmoore3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger, I would lie in my bed reading with my light on, but instead of getting out of bed I would use a long wooden dowel to turn off the light switch across my room.
tazmandvl321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Only read the short comments on this thread.
Skirtz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Couldnt be bothered to dry off a dish so I put it in the microwave for 30 seconds.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eaten food out of the can instead of preparing it.... It made me feel like the the world's laziest cowboy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on the couch in my living room watching TV, having skipped school that day. I wanted to change the channel, but the remote was down the other side of the coffee table, and out of reach. My solution? Kick the closer end of the coffee table, sending its contents flying through the air, and catch the remote. Problem solved.
hdmackay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:17:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Using the on-screen keyboard on my laptop with my mouse hand because I was slouching so much and couldn't be bothered lifting my free hand to the keyboard.
mark01254 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:17:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
In winter when I don't have to drive to work I just move my car a few meters so it's no longer in the shade of our house and the sun melts the snow/ice away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Peed out my window. I still do it.
Saturday_Saviour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
n0Skillz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I need TWO pieces of paperwork to collect somewhere in the range of 3-4 grand from work. I've tried exactly once to get it and they weren't in the office so I haven't tried again.
Dam262a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Room with bathroom connected, wakes up pee's in plastic cup next to bed, goes back to sleep.
callmeanna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my research paper is literally right next to me, to lazy, must keep redditing
superclaude1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once took a freshly washed and ironed shirt and put it BACK in the dirty clothes basket because I couldn't be arsed to put it on a hanger.
President_Kickass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I had a project due in one of my classes that I had 2 months to complete and I never did it. Upon the due date, I lied and said that I became sick while diligently working on the project and had accidentally vomited on it. She felt so bad for me that she gave me a 2 month extension... I still never did it.
Eldis_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ASked my dad to give me the tacup. it was next to me but i didnt want to move. And yes, he gave it to me! XD
thelandofdreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't get my tie off after long day of job hunting. Cut it off and had no tie for next interview. Not sure if lazy or rage...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once bought a bulk lot of 100 pairs of socks so I could have new socks everyday without having to wash them. When I used them all up I gave them away for free on the proviso that they got picked up and I didn't have to wash them.
TheDanielG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Phoned my mom from the other side of the house, asked her to come to my room for something important. When she arrived I "forgot" so she walked out again, annoyed, closing the door behind her. I just wanted my door closed but didn't want to wheel my desk chair all those 3 metres.
SteveLeopard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
allinon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
mrbarry1024 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A popup came on my PC while i was watching a movie. Instead of getting up from the sofa to click the mouse i downloaded a VNC app on my phone.
Took around 50 times longer.
beefknox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pee in a bottle cuz i didn't wanna go down the stairs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered take-out from the pizza place directly across the street.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest thing I have done is doing my shoe laces so that it is tight enough to stay on and loose enough for me to slide it in and out. I just do a triple knot on it so I never have to do my shoe laces ever again! Gotta go work? Just slide it on. Gotta go for a jog? Just slide it on. Gotta hit the gym? Just Slide it on. So simple.
haystackscalhoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
more than a number of times Ive blown my nose into a sock. also peed in a lot of gatorade bottles cause I was too lazy to go upstairs and use the bathroom.
Arto_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once when I was in middle school, I was playing waw at a friends house. His mom brought us ice cream with a cookie lodged in it that had some type of filling I had not seen before. It looked weird and asked my friend what the hell was this thing, but cut off his reply by taking a bite out of the cookie. I forgot i even asked him anything. Fattest thing I've done
iTz_Chanch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted to turn off the light. Didn't wanna get up. Threw a shoe at it. Broke switch. Still got the lights off though.
Tl;dr: Turned off lights
BaconOP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my ex
robinthekid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Burger King delivery.
drogepirja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For my birthday last year, I got my first tattoo, which I'd been planning for 4 years. I chose my tattoo shop based entirely on the fact that I can see the shop from the back door of my house and could walk there in under 30 seconds, and I chose my artist based on who was there and wanted to make 2 bills.
It actually looks fantastic.
violenthectarez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a brothel, but couldn't be bothered having sex. I asked her to take her top off and I had a wank instead. Didn't even really finish. Only cost, like 20 bucks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to throw my pillow at the light switch. Didn't even make it half way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
major in liberal arts
partenon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Ciderbat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've pissed in the bath, but I did wait until I was standing up and the tub was draining, and aimed for the little whirlpool area. I supposed I could have turned 90 degrees and pissed into the toilet beside my tub...
Ciderbat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my defence: was hungover as fuck!
witch_irl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sleep all day so that I don't eat as much so I can lose weight.
The Sleep Diet is far superior to exercising.
aarondoyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well this one time... whatever. Couldn't be bothered.
TurboBlaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live not far from my brother's house. To come back home I can walk, rent a bike or even take public transportations. That day I choose to rent a car instead...
Stnavres ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did nothing.
qwerty_fan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit.
Max_VI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
used the track pad of my laptop with my big toe coz i was too lazy to sit up and use my hand
Drunkmooses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You all are turning me onto laziness more than I already am.
thors-hamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a bit late, but here's my Story:
One Day our (house)cat jumped down the roof.
My GF wanted to go out and search for it, but we didn't had the cat for very long and it was very very shy, plus: it was cold and late at night.
So i set up a Laptop with wifi in our cellar and installed Skype and changed the settings so it would answer every call.
i took an old webcam and removed the IR filter and pluged it in.
Then i dropped a cord from our second story living room down and tied it to the cellar window and put a bowl of catfood in the room.
We spend the next few hours watching TV and our PC monitor (including several unknown cats).
But in the early morning our cat finally showed up and i pulled the cord.
And my GF thought that was a stupid idea :)
nutbastard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed in a milk jug because my leg was broken and crutching to the bathroom and back while drunk and high on pain killers seemed like such a hassle.
I did this for like 5 days, and when it filled up I simply poured it out the window.
occipixel_lobe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Someone who really is lazy wouldn't be arsed to write in this thread.
andyourubinsometubs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I screwed hooks into my walls and ceiling that I used to secure a rope from my bed to the lightswitch so that I wouldn't have to get out of bed to turn off the lights. Then I thought it would be funny to put a sign next to the rope that said, "In Case of Zombie Apocolypse, Pull Cord."
ruzzler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
End of year 3 of a 5 year course at the university, while packing up for the semester break, cleaning out desk drawers of bits of cookies and fried food, I was too lazy to pick up mothballs to spread around the room, especially, inside the mattress [Note: This was an extremely humid tropic city with a penchant for bugs and the like]. Packed everything up, and merely rolled up the mattress and placed it on the corner of the bed.
Come back after a month and a half to find the mattress covered in weird looking fungus. Throw out the fungus-mat and ask dad to send some money to go get a new one. Guess what, never got the new mattress. Slept on the hardwood bed with a sheet on for the next 2 years. Funnily enough, started liking the feel of a hard bed that soft mattresses don't feel good anymore. Except for the cold winters. Those few months were a bitch.
Braizy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes if I'm leaning back in my chair and using the mouse on my belly, instead of sitting up to search or type I'll highlight, right-click copy, and paste letters from the page I'm currently on into the searchbar, as to not have to use the keyboard. This took about 20 minutes to mousetype.
HappinessSoup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My brother and I often have bets like if I can kick this ball over the goal posts from the yard you have to retrieve the ball, if I miss I'll get it. I missed, I drove my car the 40 yards across my garden to get the ball. TL;dr lazy
TheNoob29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was playing a video game where i needed to collect dog tags. I was camping in a corner and right infront of me was a dogtag. I was too lazy to get it. IN A VIDEO GAME!
Jackowoacko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My first year living alone i didn't have a dishwasher. So when all my dishes were dirty i put them in a bag, drove home to my parrents and used their dishwasher. It was 45 min drive one way...
DJCatsandBacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm in dark rooms I've never been in before I have a tendency to clap my hands instead of looking for the light switch. It's never worked for me.
agreeswithevery1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit while in a river. Althought I guess that did take effort.
How about building a pulley system in my house so that I didn't have to walk up and down the stairs ?
Klopford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Texted parents to ask what's for dinner instead of yelling downstairs from my desk.
SoulUnison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I'll drive to the mailbox and back, instead of just walking the block there.
Orange_Astronaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't feel like doing the pile of laundry on my bed, and didn't want to throw it on the ground, so I slept underneath it.
I liked having the weight of it on me so much I just left the pile on my bed and slept underneath it for a full week.
theequetzalcoatl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Birth
mrdude817 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Browse reddit all day.
Mohawk200x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...
batfiend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went to the toilet drunk, sat down for a wee. Toilet faces glass shower wall, I fell forward, arse on toilet, face on glass, suspended between the two.
So I slept there.
DJTuret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll tell you tomorrow.
sl33tbl1nd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not the laziest, and probably not what you're really looking for, but this is the first thing that comes to mind.
For my programming unit last semester we needed to put together a command-line interface for a music player, that included various sorting and playlist functionalities. 2 of the things we had to do was be able to sort songs either alphabetically or by rating, and the other was display playlists.
Being the lazy motherfucker I am my playlist display only worked if the songs were in the order according to their position original in the array. Instead of changing that so the program actually looked into each song's data to make sure a playlist display command was showing the right songs (since if they had been re-ordered by name or rating their indexes would be wrong), I just got the program to re-sort them back to their original position, display the playlist and sort them back to how they were before.
all-syrup-squishy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
call my mums mobile and tell her to bring food upstairs.. not proud of it ahhhahhah
Freshenstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My brother and I were both laying on couches and we both wanted to change the channel but didn't want to get up to get the remote. Instead we called our other brother who was in the basement and made him come up just to hand me the remote.
'Merica!
3amtime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rather than pick up my work phone 2 feet away, I log in on my personal phone to my web email client. Pseudo lazy as it takes much longer.
Mariuslol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in the army I'd pay a guy a soda each day for always folding my sheets, and polish my shoes.
During out 30 km walk I hitched a ride till I was a few km away from our camp, went in the forest and took a nap while waiting for people to catch up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
didn't go to class all week (college)
stabro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta love the ol' second spring break.
KnifeFed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a motorized wall mount for my TV so I can angle it towards the bed using the remote. I am getting remote controlled dimmers installed for all the lights in my apartment.
penguin_shit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My bedroom at Uni was on the ground floor and the window opened onto an alley. Toilet was upstairs... What would you do?!
PoiZnVirus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:47:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't want to go outside and walk around the corner (literally 100 feet away) to a pizza shop to get food so I called and made them deliver.
Pigsorgasmslast30min ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:47:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i'm pretty sure microsoft has taken around ยฃ70 from my bank account without my permission but i'm too lazy to ring their customer service to check
roomiccube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Started using disposable paper plates for meals so I didn't have to wash real plates.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pick things up from the floor with my feet on a regular basis (like socks and stuff) , so that I don't have to bend down. That is my highlight of laziness...
dougynotsofresh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed in my bed because i was to tired to get up.
mjc1027 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would post something, but I'm too lazy to do it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
School started in August for me. Had my notebooks and shit from the beginning, but instead of adding paper and getting them all in order, I just shove all my papers I get into that class's textbook.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered a pizza with delivery. They didn't have delivery so my only option was a Taxi. $10 pizza, $20 taxi.
Blinkkkk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Better write some of these down for the future... or ill just copy and paste.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure the drunken wank sock is high on the lads list. You know because the bathroom is soooooo far away for more appropriate knob wiping material
davidlyster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not lift.
bigwipeouts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but I knew a guy who got a job cleaning out gutters on houses. He climbed up on the house, sat there for a while without doing anything and came back down and said, I'm done. The guy said, "You're done already?" He said, "You wanna go up and check?" The guy said "Oh, no. Thanks good job."
aklanaindiana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
bought two dishwasher so i never have to empty it
Hmm_Peculiar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in bed reading this on my phone. I considered not scrolling down anymore because then I'd have to lift a finger.
sittingdoingnothing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I signed up for a 4 month online design course at university. I'm working and paying it off, but I haven't studied a single word and its already the last month.
It costs 4900 dollars.
Moneycashino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not myself but my grandfather had a TV before remote controls were common place and you physically had to change channel on the set. He had a snooker cue with an extension attached so he didn't have to get up. I've been told that this laziness progressed in to turning light switches on and off
mrgrindhouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid I raked yards. One time, I flung all the leaves from the backyard I was supposed to rake over the fence into the neighbor's backyards. I took the money they had left under the mat and never heard from them again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Washed clothes then left them in a heap until they were all used up and back in the wash pile again.
bigwipeouts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Then this same guy got a job at at gas station pumping gas. They ran out of regular one night but still had the high grade. Every customer that came by, he said "Sorry, we're all out of gas."
DoctorOctagonapus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my house a couple of years ago I had a PC set up as a media centre, and a separate Mac up in my bedroom. I installed Teamviewer on both of them so I could shut them down remotely if necessary. It got to the point when I discovered I needed a video file on my Mac upstairs, so I TeamViewered into it on my media centre, downloaded the file, and played it. All from the comfort of my own sofa.
SebBrannigan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i never read the entire thread..
coranns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
13 years of schooling.
Source: Australian.
sluttymcbuttsex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I don't eat for up to 12 hours because I don't feel like taking a break from video games and walking downstairs
Drrio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We didn't have any trash in the room and I was to lazy to go to the bathroom so I just put my underwear back on and told my girlfriend id throw it away later.
I woke up early - yawning I proceeded to scratch my balls but for some strange reason i couldn't get a proper grip... it was then I realized the error of my ways.
WoodchipChuckie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My two minute noodles stopped at the back of the microwave when they were finished. I put the microwave on for one more second so the bowl was rotated around and stopped at the front.
TocchetRocket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Skipped work, 10 hours of Skyrim later i felt shame
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was walking to school, on my way i realized i was going to be 3-4 minutes late, pulled a 180ยฐ and headed home.
SpookyFoxM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college we had just bought a new rug and I kept the giant cardboard tube that came with it. Well my bed in the dorm room was lofted which involved climbing in and out to hit the light switch. I ended up using the cardboard tube to flick it without having to move in bed.
greggor8426 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to answer my corded home phone with one of those pool cues you use to support your cue when you can only make a one handed shot
stuffekarl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I made a improv fishing rod with one of those sticks you use to close roof windows with, a fishing hook and tape. I used it to get soda cans which were just out of reach from my office chair in my gaming room.
WhiskeyCup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
idgaf
GokuSonic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I take coffee breaks in between naps
Sammileighm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:58:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was sitting on the couch, and I wanted to watch TV, so I taped a bunch of pens together and used them as a poking stick to hit the "on" button.
stillsinking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bit late now but when I was staying in NYC, the YMCA I stayed at put me in a room that was at the opposite end of the floor to the bathroom... So, instead of walking my ass all the way to the toilet I pissed in a 42o tacobell cup and poured it out the window... Multiple times.
funkyfuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to wash the dishes. Bought new dishes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once ordered a pizza from bed. I then called my roomate and offered him a slice if he came into my room, grabbed my cash, paid for the pizza and bring it back to me. I used to be a huge stoner.
samfuller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i won $3,000 in prize money for 3 short films. I never collected the money because I never sent in the necessary paper work. I even printed the paper work out, but never bothered to fill it out and mail it... $3,000. And I was broke at the time... fuck me.
anag0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Related: http://youtu.be/mQNc3xFyd48?t=1m5s
JamesGPeach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used the remote app on my ipod, to change the music on my laptop that was beside me.
drummerkidoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
madeinfuckyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
donownsyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called my brother, who lives down the street, to come over for something important...he rushed over..on the way in I asked him to grab me the remote on the love seat across the room. After he handed it to me he asked me "Whats wrong?!" I told him "your work is done here."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/IDA1dqG my undone washing.
psybientz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just put it in the dumpster... No washing, no drying, no folding :D
WartyMcFartflaps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably too late for this, but once I ran out of plates/cutlery to eat with, so I used the box the food came in as a plate, and a particularly sharp chip (French fry) as a knife/fork combo. This ended up becoming a bit of a bad habit and I named the boxes I'd eat from "bachelor plates".
bfragged ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Put my laundry on the bed. Didn't feel like putting it away so I slept on my couch for 6 months...
Jonny45412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was at a friends house with another mate so there were 3 of us all up. We decided to order pizza online. Me and my mate were sitting no more than 1.5-2m from the person ordering but instead of getting up and moving to read what pizza we could order off the computer screen we used a programme called 'Team Viewer' so we could order our pizza with out having to move. (Team viewer is like skype screen sharing but you can control the other computer).
Mchandsom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is by far one of the laziest things I've ever done... I once called my house while I was laying in my bed to ask my grandmother to bring me a grill cheese sandwich, so I could eat it when I woke up several hours after...
LazyFiiish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
deathman7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Waited for two bloody years to get my drivers licence. Still waiting...
notquincy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Start my 10 page history paper due 11/26/13 right now.
Hardcorish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. Nothing at all.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't want to fetch my iPhone from the kitchen (I was in the livingroom) so waited 2 hours for my SO to come home and asked him to bring it to me.
Productpusher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once in middle school i was wearing a cheap thin Nike wind breaker jacket when I got dropped off at the mall . It was raining so the jacket was soaked and basically was drenched so instead of carrying it through the mall for a few hours I just threw it away
crosswalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There's a small end-table in my upstairs living room where I live with my girlfriend. We like cooking, and don't mind doing dishes, but fuck if we'll ever carry our dishes downstairs after we're done eating. We started to use the end-table as a "sink", only there's obviously no basin. Currently, there's 4 empty binto boxes, 6 plates, 3 bowls, 4 plastic drink cups filled with rotting tea, and 2 wine glasses that are covered in mold.
We'll get to them eventually.
i_live_ina_pinkblock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.
2 days straight.
jelliedbabies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if this is technically lazy but it was done in the spirit of laziness; My tv is on a side wall in my bedroom and not very visable from the bed as it also doubles as a monitor, I spent a day transforming a spare monitor with audio passthrough into a tv by grabbing a HDMI cable, speakers and sawing and mounting a shelf on my wall so I didn't have to strain my neck in bed. Never used it.
dontknowmeatall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:17:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's the opposite of lazy.
simplycheese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not bothering to fix my slightly cracked screen. Ended up cracking again, $300 down the drain.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once was crazy tired but really wanted something to drink. Instead of just getting out of bed and walking the hundred feet to the pub, I called one of my drinking buddies and had him buy me beer and bring it up to my flat. That was a good day.
dpbBryan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took a shower with my cloths on so I wouldn't have to wash them in the machine. I dried myself off with a hair drier and space heater afterwards.
TrigInTermsOfTau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One day, my stomach kept hurting off and on all day. By that night it was getting fairly intense. Near midnight, I messaged one of my friends: "Oh, I just realized why my stomach's been hurting all day. I'm hungry." He responded: "Dude, your the only person I know who could be stranded on an island made entirely of chocolate and still manage to starve to death." But don't worry: I've gotten better! I now eat an average of 1.5 meals a day! (Of course, this is almost exclusively pizza and 3-minute microwave meals that I get as an afterthought.)
stmiller13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not answer this question
Shabutaro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sleep with my windows open, because i need fresh air. It was a cold night. I woke up, walked with my blanket to my pc, sat down, hands are freezing. I decided to call my mom so she knows i am awake and ask her to close the window and turn on the heater.
Window and heater are 1m away from my pc.
qwertyuiopas88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sat down on the wrong bus once and after realizing that it was the wrong one, didn't get off for a few stations because I didn't want to stand up and find my way
cindles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sometimes i'm too lazy to flush the toilet if i've just peed. i'll do that a few more times until i'm not lazy or took a #2, then flush. i'm doing the world a solid by saving water!
Ahillipe_Albert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I could see the film I wanted to watch sitting at the opposite side of the room, but I really couldn't be bothered to get up and get it. Quick google search showed that it was on netflix, so I signed up to netflix instead of getting up and getting it from the other side of the room.
IterationInspiration ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I just called in sick because i spilled coffee on my pants and didnt want to change.
lalauniverse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Something I do every single time the situation occurs: Live out of a suitcase in the comfort of my home because I'm too lazy to put clothes away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A few days ago I bought a three page essay of of someone
PrinceAli_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
didnt upvote or downvote
Zoraver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I microwave my cookie dough and eat it. [3]
itsmecalmdown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Waited till the night before to begin 2 5-8 page research papers and a 25 minute group presentation. 6 am and I'm still suffering from that decision.
Jack_Burton_Express ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I usually just keep my clothes in the dryer and run it for a few minutes to take the wrinkles out as opposed to hanging them. I also pay my sister to clean my apartment and do my dishes.
VagabondZ44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
THATS_A_Bad_MR_KITTY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
procrasterbated
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Using a headset for talking on the phone. It's a phone, I can't lift it up to my ear?
Sslm1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dunno.. Haven't done it yet..
shahir10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This thread inspired me to get out of bed. Thank you
dontknowmeatall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a Chinese friend named Chou. In order to save myself a phonem, I call her Cho.
misterturban ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I called my sister from her room to turn on my light. She did.
biscuitball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lived 45 minutes from campus. I had a 9am class. Woke up at 8.45, logged onto the university system and dropped the course and went back to sleep.
imdrunkwithaquestion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's just smart money management.
Savipalooza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend was lying in bed listening to his CD player (it was a while ago) when a song came on that he didn't care for. His hand was resting on the CD player, and all he had to do to skip to the next track was move his finger an inch. He was so lazy, he just listened to the song.
JohnnyMackers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
While camping at a motor racing event, drove my mates car to the toilet instead of walking 100m
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lying down on my bed streaming a movie on my laptop next to me, but was too lazy to pay attention to a complex bit of story for a good 10 minutes.
Then I realised it was pointless to not know the story and keep watching, so I thought about skipping back a bit, but I couldn't be bothered to move my arm the 20 centemeters to the keyboard, so I carried on watching the whole movie.
I still don't get why Sully and Mike fall out in monsters university.
codenamegamma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:52:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
because while dicking around sully broke the dean's record scream canister. the dean was a dick an was like "sully your stupid, scary and don't know the basics. mike you know the basics but aren't fucking scary. both ya'll GTFO out of the scare program and learn how to make scare canisters" they blame each other then mike reads a flyer about the scare games and joins a frat, with the other "loser" monsters making the bet with the dean that if they win they all get back in the scare program and proving shes a bitch, they need a 5th so sully joins as well. skip to the last scare challenge the simulator against the other douchey frat, mike goes second to last and turns down the difficulty on the machine so when mike goes in the machine would go off and pay out like a coke machine with your hand up inside of it. they win, mike finds out what sully did, and hes not scary then mike acts like a dick and instead of just taking the win decides to prove himself and go through a door in one of the labs they made at the university everyone finds out, as alarms go off or something, and then sully goes in there even though the dean is like "don't fucking do it!" the dean deactivates the door so they are stuck in this cabin full of kids who think mike still isnt fucking scary. then they leave the cabin and run from police mike and sully bromance it out by a lake and go back and this time state troopers and forest rangers are there, they scare them and power the door from the other side, and get back home. the dean is like "THAT WAS TOTALLY WICKED! but i'm kicking you the fuck out, bye." then mike and sully get on a buss and get jobs at Monsters Inc. as janitors and work their way up to ultimate scary monster, proving collage was not only a waste of time, but also money.
the end.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:56 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Made my day
ReanimationSensation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
At work I wheeled my chair over to the photocopier and sat while making copies only to have to wheel over to the other side on the room to bind them and wheeled over to the office manager and told her to ship em' out. I then wheeled myself back to my desk. What could have taken me less than 5 minutes took me about 15, because I got tired of wheeling myself around the office and took mini breaks along the way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After a long night of drinking, I drunkenly decided that I should make all my guests pasta. In the mix of all this I was handed a bottle of red stag, which I poured in the boiling water so the pasta would absorb it all which everyone said was great. I woke up the next morning with vomit everywhere, but I don't remember waking up to throw up (I guess that could have potentially been dangerous). After scanning over the mess I made, I convinced myself it wasn't so bad and went back to sleep in my vomit stained sheets and pillow for a few more hours. After my follow on nap, I was pretty disgusted with myself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've microwaved things for 1:11 because it was easier to just got the number one on the keypad repeatedly than to move my finger down to the zero.
z1ver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
too lazy to tell
manvanmusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
About five years after finishing school, I had what was once a best friend hunt me down. He'd met a lady about two years before and they'd decided to tie the knot. He'd chased me down after all this time to be his best man - I guess friends were hard for him to come by after school. I was quite touched, to be honest.
Did the rehearsals, got given a list of people I should mention in the speech, helped with the general organising and whatnot.
The big day arrives, and I call him half an hour before I'm meant to be there and tell him I'm incredibly sick and give the whole nine yards - pissing blood, shakes, liquid from both ends etc.
Truth is I woke up and saw The Matrix Trilogy was playing, so decided I'd just stay in bed and punch bowls. He hasn't spoken to me since.
Lazy? You bet. But also saving this one for the next 'Describe the time when you were the biggest asshole'. Oh wait - I've got that other story to tell for that one...
asianfatboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of hooking up my external hard drive, which is right on top of the computer case, and copying my music to my freshly reformatted desktop I downloaded uTorrent and found a torrent that had better quality. I played games while it was downloading.
BBChicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to walk upstairs to the kitchen. So I ordered a pizza.
LowriLlew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In halls at uni, picked up a piece of pasta off the floor. Realized it wasn't mine, dropped it back on the floor...bin was about 3 feet away.
bsmk2007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sitting to pee because I'm just to lazy to stand sometimes
Sivadicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went to Taco Bell twice in one day. Lunch, then Dinner, because I couldn't be bothered to cook for myself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a game on Steam that I knew was upstairs somewhere, wasn't quite sure where - it was quicker to just buy and download on Steam.
mmossan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every single day I wake up and I am too lazy to get up and walk three steps to my computer. Instead, I lie in bed browsing facebook and reddit in my phone.
ilikeeatingbrains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
jordtehpwner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was running late to class. ~10 mins late. Got a red light on the way, approx. 20 mins away. Turned around and drove home. Class was for 1 hour
scottsouth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't shower for like a week simply because I didn't need to go out of the house for anything. I was a teenager, I didn't have any friends, and it was summer vacation.
Trypts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pick things up with my feet.
badbrad3424 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid I spent 3 months wearing nothing but my swimsuit. Spend the day in the pool, get out for lunch and dinner, go to bed in wet swimsuit, wake up, go jump in the pool and consider that a bath.
MT_Flesch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
heck, i'm doing it right now
dangermouse2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laid up on the couch, with an absolutely horrific hangover after getting on the gas the night before and called for my 9yr old brother to get me a bottle of water and make me a cheese toastie.
Cheeky little shit wanted $30 to do it (which was all the money left in my wallet, he had already checked), and after me whinging at him for about 45 minutes I gave in and agreed to hand over the contents of my wallet
Most expensive cheese toastie ever.. and the kitchen was about 10 metres from the couch
sassybows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I'll be too lazy to bend, so I'll make my husband hand me my can of pop that's on the coffee table not even a foot away. There's a reason why so many people gain weight when they're married, it allows both of you to be super fucking lazy.
duckieandbakri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin used his house phone to call his mum downstairs to ask her what was for dinner....yeah....
ultrapilpo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Came home drunk one night and while I was getting into bed instead of zipping down my hoody like a normal person I just ripped it apart and broke the zip, hated my laziness the next morning.
hang_on_a_second ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:26:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
Personal-Journalist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
All the internet porn is making me horny. They just need to make a website that does the masturbating for me. - ill Chris
BlueWaffleBatter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently everyone in this thread is above taking a shit in the shower.
creativelybrownish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not the laziest I have ever done, but still pretty lazy.
I have left my laptop on the floor by the bed so that when I wake up in the morning I could just roll over, pick it up, turn it on, and use while still under my covers. And kept snacks on the desk next to my bed so that when my stomach growled, I had something to eat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was reclining and my keyboard was on my lap. I used the on screen keyboard because I didn't want to bend over to use the keyboard
Catnip_Pyromaniac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Woke up, realized i don't have any plans for today or tomorrow, slept for 24hr with waking up about 2 times to just fall back asleep. And then 1 time woken up by parents thinking I was really sick or dead. I Just didn't feel like doing anything, so i slept to make up for the lack of sleep school causes me to have.
selectyour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done like 80% of these. Do I win?
comotellama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching forest gump on tv and at the end I couldn't find the remote, so I then watched the encore presentation of forest gump.
_finite_jest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
grommets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was really hungover in the couch, a friend of mine tossed me a bottle of soda and my response was only to close my eyes. It did hit me in the head.
Sweaty_potato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to get a paper out of the printer tray, so I just printed out a blank paper instead so I could grab it from the top of the printer instead of the bottom. My friend thought I was retarded, I'm not sure if he is wrong.
Captain_Dan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once had some cold baked beans with crisps for lunch, because they were in arms reach and the kitchen was all the way downstairs. Used the beans like a dip, it sorta worked!
Gazho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yell at one of my kids to come down stairs to get me the tv remote, which was across the room, so I could change the channel. Could have asked her to stand there and channel surf for me but I do have some pride.
RandomAccessMalady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
The other day I was about to eat dinner. Grabbed a knife and fork out of the drawer. Walked four steps across the kitchen to get my plate, realized I grabbed a knife and spoon. Went with it. Turns out spoons do not make good forks.
codenamegamma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i've disabled the internet on my router so a family member would come out, ask me to check it, then re-enable it after i ask them to do something.
Family Member: "the internet isn't working."
Me: "Really? give me a sec and ill check it"
Me: "hey, would you mind handing me the remote since you're up, its over there"
salmoneater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went back to sleep instead of getting up to hand in my essay before the 3pm deadline. Failed the year as a result.
jnymlr53 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Finally managed to do my laundry, and when I got back to my apartment I dumped it all on my bed. Too lazy to fold it, I slept on the floor until the pile was small enough to sleep on, which turned out to be about two weeks.
RuairiODR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
cba to comment
Mothertucker857 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One day I was sick and lying on the floor close to my TV because I didn't have a remote to change the channels. When I mustered up the strength, I started flipping through the channels to land me on 'Input' so I could play my Gamecube. I got to Channel 2, and my hand slipped and the TV was out of reach. Instead of getting back up and changing the channel one more down, I watched 6 and a half hours of Everybody Loves Raymond (It was horrible, and a marathon) until my brother came home to change the channel for me.
Uberico ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothin
asterfield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
t
danpatrickshow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
every time i am at lunch or dinner and my fingers are greasy/dirty from food but the napkins are >2feet away, i just lift my pant legs up and use my socks to clean my fingers.
when not wearing socks, i use the inside of my shorts or shirt as the napkin.
Manetherenei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had to type an assignment on my pc, but I let my hands drop down to my knees and just didn't bother bringing them up to the table again so I kinda just sat through the whole class doing nothing.
tacodepollo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Moved to berlin, lived out of my suitcase for 3 years because i was too lazy to put clothes in the dresser... right next to my suitcase.
Wideskream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Outstanding.
415PHANTOM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"this"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you people are fucking filthy
Dazed_Confused_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ordered a pizza for delivery. I could see the pizza place from my 3rd floor window. (approx. 1 block) It was cold so just allowed myself to make someone else cold. It still took 25 minutes.
mrkruler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This one time I really had to clean up my room, I had my friends with OCD come over and they cleaned it for me. Except they moved my shit, wasn't cool.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
it is physically impossible to do nothing. Even when you are dead you are still doing something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:32 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:35 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
YOUR body is YOU. Everything that makes up who you are is in your body. So even when you are dead you are still doing something because your body is doing something. Decomposition is the act of decomposing, which is what you are doing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:00 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:12 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Those electrical impulses have to travel through paths called neural pathway, which are created and strengthened with each and every experience you have. These pathways are what make up your consciousness. Therefore you are your neural pathways. This can be proven by changing the neural architecture of the brain and in doing so changing the personality of the person. So when you die the electrical impulses may stop but the neural pathways still exist. At this point they will start to decompose. The electrical impulses are the messengers between neuron and the way that the travel through your neural pathway determines who you are.
acidgisli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
donยดts get meยดs startedยดs
jimmyjazz2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college, I bought a pack of pens and stuffed them down between the cushions of my couch and all my chairs, so that whenever I needed a pen, I wouldn't have to get up.
lobstrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
GrillMySkull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I skipped lunch and dinner because I had to walk 100m to grab something.
Another incident was when I was drunk and might have puked in the night. Instead of going to the washroom, I pulled a bucket next to my bed.
boxdreper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't.
Dooder39 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted to comment on /r/AskReddit , but I was to lazy to finish the comme-
sallypro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
saw that the mailbox was full of stuff, opened it and took it all out, saw nothing of importance so i stuffed everything back because i was too lazy to bring it with me to my apartment (i do this every day until i get something other than ads etc)
gChocolate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was playing catch with a friend and my dad said not to play in the street, but my friend eventually threw too far and I had to grab the ball from the street anyway. I walk over and pick up the ball but was too lazy to switch to my dominant hand so I threw it with my left and it went right through our neighbor's SUV window.
djc2067 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I fell out of bed, too lazy to get back into said bed so I slept on the floor. Surprisingly comfortable said my chiropractor.
brucetwarzen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We watched despicable me the other day in spanish because searching the remote sucks
Had3s- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I needed to pull some food out of the oven and I couldn't be bothered with getting a hand towel to get the food out, So I used a sock carefully not to burn my fingers to pull it out.
Spork_Warrior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid I had a dart gun that shot suction cup darts. I liked to lie in bed and fire it at the opposite wall, watching the darts stick. But that meant I had to get up to retrieve them.
The solution? Tie a strong thread to them. Then I could yank them back and fire them again without getting up. :)
Methaxetamine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to pick up money (hundreds$ owed to me.
RKTMN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On my lunch break I drove my car through the drive thru of the mcdonalds next door to my work.
zitandspit99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well once I wa
Esemarr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watching IEM stream in my bed for hours on my phone instead of literally rolling on my side to pick up the laptop which was beside my bed.
ArthurDylan97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was that time Freshman year of college that I lost 15 lbs because I lived on the 7th floor of my dorm and was too lazy to walk to the elevator, then across the parking lot to buy snacks.
ShaunoftheBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sad but true: After I got back from studying abroad in Germany this summer, my mom decided that I was "mature enough" to start doing my own laundry (I'm 20). As you can imagine, I had a shit load of laundry after coming back from my trip. I managed to calculate how long it would take until all of my clothes were dirty, taking into account combinations of certain shirts and pants that (kind of) matched. What I didn't take into account was underwear, however for some reason I have weeks worth of undies stockpiled in my room in case of an underwear apocalypse or some shit, I don't know. Anyways, after all of my underwear ran out, instead of washing my clothes like a normal human being, I decided to steal my dad's underwear (Mostly the cheap ones that he never wore, but occasionally the nice silky Calvin Cline pairs. My penis has never felt such comfort). This continued for about a week or two because apparently my dad also stockpiles shit loads of undies. My dad finally realized that his underwear drawer(s) was depleting rather quickly, so he came into my room, saw my monster pile of laundry (that I swore had something growing in it), and then made fun of me. Everything went better than expected, except the fact that I could have lasted another few days.
Long story short: I went a good 2 months without doing laundry while maintaining maximum cleanliness.
I haven't tried besting my record since. Also, my mommy thinks I am a big boy now.
Soakz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a left handed person I learned how to play the drums right handed so I don't have to switch kits around when sharing a backline at gigs or in rehearsal studios.
Whoneedsyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes sit down while having a shower. Please tell me I am not the only one!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard about this .. apparently it's something some people do. Doesn't excuse it though. Very strange. Having said that, I will try it and report back.
Whoneedsyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Don't do it! You might like it... And I would not want to be responsible for increasing your laziness.
romefeller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to fill out fafsa papers I just tell me sister to do it for me cause I don't know how. I used to use this for everything, setting up doctors appointments, cooking some foods, driving to some places, shipping stuff, homework, buying clothes. To lazy to think ATM.
avanasear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
killa_cali77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a really hard physical job i basically stack 50-70 pound boxes all day, anyways one day were told were getting a new guy(we needed one really bad only 4 people on the line) supposedly hes coming from wild land fire fighting "Hotshots" is what there called its a very dangerous and physically and mentally challenging job , so thinking hes going to be a bad ass and be able to keep up with us were happy. Well he shows up and he kinda just stays in the front and passes us boxes all day instead of picking them up lol the irony makes laugh pretty hard but its pretty sad because my back also hurts from doing his work lol fml
KaptainKrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I take 2 busses to get home and on most days walk 300 feet up a hill to get to my apartment. Except on special days when I will actually get on a third bus which delivers me straight to my apartment.
Blinnnnkn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Sparxky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I drive to work regularly when it is ~200 yards away from my house.
herpderp2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever people ask for a piece of gum, I give them the whole pack. This would be a problem but I have a lifetime supply of the stuff.
shiftend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once ordered a 3.5mm jack splitter from DealExtreme (with free shipping all the way from China) because I was too lazy to go to the store (10 minutes by bike, 5 by car).
El-Daddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was sitting at my computer and really wanted to play Tiberian Sun. The game disc was on the other side of the room on a shelf, but I didn't want to get up, so I downloaded the whole thing instead.
theycallmejack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I streamed a movie online because I could not be bothered to get out of bed and walk 6ft across my room to pick up the DVD.
Huko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought a water cooler to put beside me so I didn't have to get up and refill my water
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called my dad who was in the kitchen from the couch in my basement to ask him when dinner was ready.
vkreso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hooked up my laptop to the TV on the wall so I could watch a movie on it out of my bed. After I watched it, i wanted to google something (can't really remember what) but the keyboard was away from me and I forgot how to activate the disability keyboard on the desktop. So what to do, I opened one of the bookmarked tabs and copied letters i needed to the search bar... and downloaded another movie.
harryson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once watched through an entire show I didn't like because the remote was too far away.
Noitsnotlikehorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TV remote was broken so I threw it at the tv to turn it off. Nailed it.
lardo1800 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use a fishing pole to turn my computer on and off from bed.
senikai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
put a plate in the mircowave to dry it so i can play more xbox.
chokin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was lying on the couch so I sent a Whatsapp message to all my friends asking someone to email me the word "Wikipedia", so I could copy and paste it into the search bar.
My keyboard was almost 8 feet away.
I then jumped from link to link to find what I needed.
Camavan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was this one time where I did nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Shawer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a really long, well thought out story with a wacky punchline to post on this thread but that's gonna take way too much time.
EBeast99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a fairly large dog that likes to take LONG walks and usually chased squirrels which ends up with me eating dirt or concrete. My solution? Strap a pillow to my skateboard, hold onto the leash, and let her chase squirrels to her hearts content.
Loosetrigger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Xbox on!" And then turned on the controller.
brachunok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Y'all motherfuckers need to start drinking coffee.
sindex23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once stayed up all night in an uncomfortable chair because I was too lazy to get up and go to bed.
kindasortanerdy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One Nerf gun. One Nerf bullet. One lazy ass, I sewed some string around and through the Nerf bullet, wrapped the other end to a metal rod with a non at the end which i mounted onto the Nerf gun. Now i can sit in my chair, fire a Nerf dart, real it in, and do it again without getting up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The irony of this question being posted on reddit is just INSANE.
joey_vasquez_lives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once ordered a pizza just so I could have a bottle of soda delivered to my house.
VikingHedgehog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We eat pizza nearly every day because they bring it to our house. It's gotten so bad that neither one of us wants to put on pants to answer the door so I've started to offer my husband a tip to be the one who has to answer the door and bring the pizza the rest of the way to me. It's all good. Now I'm paying for the pizza, the delivery fee, and a tip for the driver AND for my husband. But it's so worth not having to get off the couch or put pants on.
Also, I basically buy everything on Amazon. Why leave the house when they bring it to me? I'm just waiting for something other than pizza to deliver in my neighborhood.
Starscreamsicle_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lazy way to make oatmeal:
1) open packet 2) pour in water 3) complete spoon to mouth ritual
No cleanup, no waiting
kmj442 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college my roommate and I had a nice setup in our dorm. We had a decent TV with surround sound and such. One day when we were sitting on our couch we realized the remote was on one of our desks. Instead of getting up to get it, we yelled to our next door neighbor to get it for us... His response was to take the batteries out, throw them down the hall and hand us the remote. Probably and acceptable response.
CaptainFourpack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest thing I ever did? Nothing!
The_Real_XECH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tossing every throwable object on my desk at my light switch that was 3 feet away.
Insert-Cat-Here ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't feel like writing the password on my computer to unlock it and watch a TV show on my hdd. I spent 15 minutes to find a streaming link and watched it on my phone.
avid_novice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I regularly wake up underneath my buddy's coffee table because I roll off drunk and am too lazy to climb back onto the couch.
GoTeamZelda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this is late, but one time i called my friend to grab me some toilet paper while in the bathroom. the toilet paper was stored three feet from the bathroom.
MinecraftHardon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to get buried, but I've sat a bottle of pop on my night stand with a hole in the bottom/side so when I laid down there would be a stream going into my mouth.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Using my foot as a TV remote
OCogS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Spent a heap of money on Philips Hue, but use them as regular light bulbs because I'm too lazy to set them up.
ILikeMotorcycles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paid thousands I'd dollars for college tuition only to skip class and sleep in...
amanaramun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I didn't feel like cooking breakfast but was really hungry so I made microwaved eggs and a side of bacon flavored dog treats "beggin' strips."
tamerfa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a 10 inch display tablet, but everyday when I'm back home I'm too lazy to walk to the other room to check facebook with it, instead I take my 4 inch smartphone out of my pocket and use it. The best part that I finally decided after 2 years to sell the tablet because I don't really use it, but I'm too lazy to put an ad on ebay.
Thezombieraper2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I stole 3 mints from my teacher's bag. #thuglife
ClamJavelin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last night I paid my roommate to bring my clothes from the dryer downstairs to me upstairs.
v1k1rox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend and I taught our dogs to pee on the balcony so we would not have to walk it in the morning. These are shih tzus so they need minimal exercise.
dougbdl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so lazy, I could barely find the energy to read the answers to this question yet again.
h0rty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
yankee4life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely nothing
JewishLlamaz72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Skyrim, I fast traveled from the Whiterun blacksmith to Whiterun Stables.
lazarus870 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ever since I ditched my Blackberry, I am too lazy to learn to type on a touchscreen phone, so I just use the voice dictate whenever I text somebody.
purduered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL that I'm not as lazy as I thought.
Vinura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. Im pretty lazy.
fartingmonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
NickDownUnder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm talking to someone and my phones predictive text changes a word I will not go back and change it. I even called someone a hoe and sent It just to avoid re typing it...
TheToasterIncident ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Woke up too early and had to piss. Ended up rolling onto my side and pissing out the window. Didn't even shake it after.
1dly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reading these aloud when SO tells me she has a storiy she could tell. I'm like sweet sweet karma yisss! ... To lazy to tell the story.
balamory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a bunk bed as a kid the light was an arm swing away well, no one would turn off the light switch so.. I hit it off... Glass everywhere! It wasnt your average bulb had a big glass case around it, almost broke my wrist.
gransom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rather than repeatedly find the TIVO remote [which the kids were surprisingly successfully at hiding], I wrote a computer program to control the TIVO from my laptop.
I like being a software developer :)
Bruce_Bruce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used an old RAM stick to spread peanut butter and jelly because I didnt want to go downstairs.
mynamesbenedict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Peed off the side of my bed cause I couldn't be bothered to walk to the toilet (drunk)
Blazay_13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
OP's mother
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Slept with my clothes on
Zymotic9172 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
didnt feel like doing a task over and over at work so i wrote a script to do it for me
toojer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sick of doing little things like getting the remote, throwing things away, and turning on/off the lights. I decided to have a kid so I can make them do it. 3 years later and it's starting to pay off.
parallexter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I want to tell few things i have done, but too lazy to ty
Terrencey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well.. I'm more embarrassed about this one but when I was a child and had to pee, I would open the front door and take a piss OPPOSITE to my neighbours door. I have 3 toilets in my house. This went in for 1 year.
Ieatimamsforlunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too lazy to try and remember
fangasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This was pretty recent for me. My PS3 controller had fallen on the ground out of my reach and Netflix was prompting me to see if I was still watching. Instead of getting up and getting it I coaxed my cat into bringing me her Millenium Falcon flyer toy that she loves. I fixed it into a lasso and pulled the controller in.
It took much more time an effort to do all this than it would have if I had just stood up and got the damn controller... but it did feel pretty damn spiffy using a cat toy like that.
kahi1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No too long ago, i was so tired i didn't want to turn off the lights... fortunately i had my hardball pistol right at my nightstand, so i take it, aims, and misses 4 times.. I got 4 bullets back and i am not prepared to get up for more OR turn of the lights.. My lamp is made out of paper wrapped around a metal carcass, so i take one last aim.. use all four bullets and shoots the light bulb glass everywhere but lights off and I could sleep in deep comfort. and shards of glass.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
every toilet visit i make a plan, what i can do on the way there and what when coming back. The bathroom is just across the big carpet, but there a still many things you can do: get new candies, get the remote, get power cable, stuff like this...
sugar_honey_ice_tea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My sister lives with me and we text each other all the time, with just a wall separating us. Were literally 3 feet from each other. We just text.
Milkslinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This question is a paradox.
allski1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on the couch with the remote on the coffee table. Was to lazy to sit up and grab it so I screamed to my brother as if to indicate there was something very wrong so he came running out to me. I asked him to grab the remote and change the channel to which is just turned around and left. I proceeded to watch an infomercial for the next hour until I took a nap.
Ieuan1996 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even finish this co
Expatio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't plugged in my laptop at work for nine hours because I'd have to reach down and pick up the end that isn't already plugged into the wall.
ay2014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sleep! :D
P150 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I had to go to the bathroom and instead of getting out of bed and going I literally pointed my dick to the side and pissed down the gap between my bed and the wall.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
eh
nathanplays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just went to write out one of these and thought "6000 comments? nobody will see it anyway and I'm not wasting my time writing out a story."
ericaisdancing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eating a cupcake in bed, like right now.
biosanity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My brother did this once.
I was on the toilet, and I forgot to bring the paper upstairs with me. I shouted my brother to ask him to bring it up, but he couldn't be bothered. So he got a big wad of it, stuffed it in his collar and told me to call the dog.
NineSwords ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Finally a thread where I truly belong.
CommonComus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how many people have a great story, but are too lazy to type it out.
gottagetoutofit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This
iwishiwasbritish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A girlfriend and I lived for a few years at 44th and Pennsylvania in Kansas City. That address is four blocks south of Westport, a bar/entertainment/shopping district, and three blocks north of the Plaza, a shopping/restaurant/entertainment district.
I couldn't tell you how many times we went out for an evening at one area or the other and took a cab home, even though it was a five minute walk. Especially from the Plaza, as it was uphill from there. One driver started calling us "two minute".
dakisking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Late, but I have a friend who will call his mom's cell phone to tell her to bring him food while he played xbox......she was downstairs, in the same house
MetalSpider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Couldn't be bothered to get out of bed when my cat started chewing a cardboard box, so I threw my pillow at it to shoo it away. Then my other three pillows. Then my duvet. It still didn't stop. I still couldn't be bothered to crawl out of bed at that point, so I took my pyjamas off and threw them. Sadly, I eventually had to get up when the cat took no notice, and I realised I'd ended up just lying naked on a mattress.
More examples:
Used to keep a stick next to my bed to attempt to turn off the light at night. It never worked.
Eaten out of pans to save washing.
When literally all of my dishes were stacked in the sink, eaten out of a measuring jug/muffin pan/giant mixing bowl, with a ladle.
Eaten in bed to save getting up.
Gave up on showering and lived in my pyjamas for days.
Ordered takeaway at 6pm because I was too lazy to leave the house, even though the grocery store is literally just across the road.
These are just a few of the reasons I live alone.
themakshter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was lying on bed and there was a small table a little distance away from me - I could easily have stretched and pulled the table closer. Instead, I take out my phone. Give a missed call - not even wasting money on a call - to my servant. He comes and I ask him to move the table closer to me.
metalhead408 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The fart that I produced in my blankets was the only thing that convinced me to get up and make hot chocolate.
It was terrible.
jackson5guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not finish this com_
RaginTater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
pissed in the trash can at my desk whilst gaming...
kwebb1021 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Omg this is great
thatfookinschmuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
2manydogs2rub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got drunk, got sick. moved bed over sick, no cleaning needed. It's still there .
trotternama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Adoption!
luceateis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hate washing dishes, so I use the same bowl for every meal without washing it for weeks. I figure if it was clean enough to eat 6 hours ago it's still good enough.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One afternoon in college, I dumped all of my freshly-dried laundry on my bed so that I'd be forced to do it before I went to sleep. When bed time came, I just burrowed under the pile of clothes and called it a night.
Porfinlohice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: people are fucking pigs
FourthAlchemist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered delivery from the Thai place 300m down the road...
paulornothing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who takes time to post here is not that lazy....shit.
poulina0501 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. Except writing this comment of course.
Phishstixxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paid someone to write me an essay.
appdeveloper24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Made chili in a pressure cooker we just bought. Bottom inside was "icky" with molten chili burnt on afterwards. I soaked in soapy water for 4 days (I checked after 2 days and it was still "icky"). Day 5 - pressure cooker placed into trash.
Chudabadoonga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Im so lazy I took lessons on how to learn the piano
Swichts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The amount of times I've picked the remote with my feet is ridiculous
olookahat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Copy/pasted a full stop.
EggSalad1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
that isn't lazy, thats just sillyness
olookahat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How very dare you...
amateurkarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
took a piss in a waterbottle before sleeping because I was too lazy to go to the toilet which was like 6 feet away, I then proceeded to throw the piss filled water bottle outside my open window.
handofbod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to do something, but I couldn't be arsed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once Pissed in a Gatorade bottle to avoid getting out of bed.
herpderpfuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
tobitob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
once i was on a field trip in the mountains where we were supposed to study rocks. We had stopped to take note and i had found this really confy rock formation that i was half siting-half laying on, and i dropped my pen.
I really didn't feel like getting up but i couldn't reach it, so i took my walking stick and pushed my pencil over to a teacher in front of us, then asked him if he could pick it up. He didn't see i pushed the pen, but my friend did and we just looked at each other and smiled.
RefinedInfinity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not use the bathroom for 5 hours straight while browsing reddit.
spacepie8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Teleported 10 feet to my bathroom after I already tucked myself into bed. wait....no, that's the laziest thing I wish I could do..
EggSalad1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
some friends (a couple) of mine tell this story.
sharing their goodnight joint in bed, got to the end of it
"babe pass the ashtray"
"i thought you had it"
"so where have you been ashing?"
both have just been flicking it on the duvet
eyes_unclouded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
right now
ThePeevish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once i had a leg-injury. So i became this elevator-key to reach class in time. I used it for about five months. The duration of my leg injury was about 3 weeks.
belgarrion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
shouldn't that be the laziest thing you've ever not done?
Thenervemann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When its late at night and im tired i call my mom on the her cell to get me water.. im in my twenties
ThatGymRat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live 10 seconds from my university campus, literally, and I still don't bother going in if my lecture if before 1pm.
Tetrakka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest thing I've ever done..? That would have to be the time I did nothing.
Fozzworth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of driving to the starbucks thats 3 minutes away, I drive to the one thats 15 because its drive-thru
skarni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whilst laying in bed I remote desktoped from my tablet to computer in order to play a TV show instead of getting up to use the computer which was maybe a meter away.
getto_child671 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I torrented every Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings movie, just because I was too lazy to walk down a flight of stairs to get them from my living room.
JiveTurkeyMFer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like the perfect thread for foul bachelor frog
SLUGFORCEALPHA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Way late to this but oh well.. I have a few but the worst ones were probably if i lean back on my computer chair and get comfy i use one foot to work the mouse and the toes on the other to type instead of just sitting up. I've done this so much I can actually do it fairly quickly and have even played a couple games like it.
The next two are both (UK) college related. I had to walk about 2 miles to get to college everyday and there's a kind of steep hill about half way there. One time I was walking in the winter and the hill was a bit icy. I could see other students struggling to get up so i just turned around and went home.
The second thing was I had History on the 3rd floor. Multiple times i was so lazy that instead of walking up the stairs to get there, i'd either sit in the cafeteria and wait for my friend to finish his class and get a lift home or i'd actually walk 2 miles home just to avoid going up stairs.
I was not a good student. I did not do well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Cut my hair because I didn't want to wash it (it was down to my elbows.)
Regretted it ever since... luckily it's growing back now, and I'm not a lazy fuck.
appdeveloper24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was using an electric circular whilst remodeling my bathroom whilst standing 2 feet up on a step ladder...
Realized I forgot my safety glasses at the bottom of the ladder. Too lazy to walk down two steps.
Accidentally cut into a rusty old nail, felt burning fire poke of hell in my right eye. Ended up in emergency room with eye surgery to remove rusty nail piece.
Bonus got to lay down and watch my beloved Green Bay Packers from the ER bed as I waited for the eye surgeon to arrive...with my one good eye.
EggSalad1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
DIY is never lazy
grovermonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sat on my ass for the last 5 years doing absolutely nothing except playing videogames and going out at the weekends and getting drunk while seeing various DJ's. Probably leaving the house an average of 2 times a week over that period.. maybe slightly increased by holidays and trips i've taken with my friends. Often times I won't even leave the house for 2 weeks in a row.
Yeah.. I'd say that's probably the laziest thing i've done.
fckingrandom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to lock the door, masturbated, too lazy to cleanup, felt asleep naked with door unlock and cum on the floor. Parents were in the next room.
ank1613 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my roommates last year were too lazy to unclog the toilet so they preceded to shit ontop of their shit for OVER A WEEK.
I didn't love with them yet thank god.
supfaggot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno if this counts as lazy to most, but I consider it to be. Brushed my teeth while pissing, then while still brushing flushed the toilet with my feet, other hand while still brushing, pulled up my pants and buckled my belt. Mind you i do this all very sluggishly almost every morning.
D1sc0nn3ct3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's just multi-tasking....
bahuvrihi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
ixiz0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Urinate while in the sitting position when I had no intention of defecating. I am a male.
esskay1711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I eat breakfast cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner some days because I'm too lazy to prepare food, cook it, wash plates and all the other things associated with preparing food and meals.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did 30 minutes of cardio on an elliptical machine in sweatpants, a hoodie, and fuzzy slippers because I didn't feel like changing.
Dcm210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
laid in bed until is was time to get up for work. I had work at 4pm
reddit_alt_username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Way late but whatever. Whenever I am in the car for a while, whether it be a long distance drive or general participation in traffic, I tend to ALWAYS drop shit on the floor in front of the passenger seat. Rather than pull over to get it I will violently change lanes or take a right hand exit at blazing speeds just so whatever it is will roll back to me. It is lazy and incredibly dangerous. I have had success.
Joxxill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
L1FTED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed in plastic bottles to save me from walking 10 steps to my bathroom. Dump laundry on bed sleep on top of laundry for 2 weeks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Put my lunch in tupperware. Take it back home. Put it in the dishes with the top still on, no soaking here seรฑor. Haven't done the dishes in a few days. Throw Tupperware away. The money I've wasted.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
taking the bike for 200m to the supermarket
Tulabean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit.
dasfeiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
That-one-asian-guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took the car to the Mcdonalds 300 meters away from my home.
And this other time the car wasnt available so I didnt go.
_The_Grapist_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad told me to vacuum the carpets downstairs. I took the vacuum, that wasn't plugged in, and rolled it over one part of the carpet to leave the vacuum stripes in it.
TheSHOEthatHITgeorge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This one time I bought my roommate Joey and I a new set of reclining chairs and a sweet TV set to make up for me kissing his girlfriend (long story). Anyways we did not get up from the reclining chairs for what felt like a week. We would order delivery, but to be able to stay in the chairs we would send it to our neighbors Monica and Rachel's so that THEY would have to bring it right to us, ha classic lazy JJ and Chan Chan.
woppawilde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It didn't happen to me, but when i was in grade 8 i found out one of my friends was too lazy to get up and go poop so he just shat his pants and continued laying in his own filth
adudeguyman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Urinated in the cat litter box because it was closer.
Scrial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was watching a playlist of youtube videos while having terrible internet. It required me to manually pause the video for about a minute before each 10 min video.
Now, since I was watching from my bed and would have had to get up every time to do this, I ended up building a device out of Lego, a heavy steel ball and a length of cord, so I could press the space bar with a pull on said cord.
Apple_Leaves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too lazy to make the effort of using my arms so I open the refrigerator with my feet.
emilypractice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My university has a policy that skipping a class will result in losing 3% from you final grade. In order to not be marked as truant, even when sick, you must email the school that you will be absent, go to the nearby medical practice to get a note confirming illness or "illness" (should you actually just want to skip) and later fill out an online absence survey. I had tonsillitis for a week so missed all of my classes once. I would rather have a slight grade drop than go through all of that effort.
Correct_Answer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't do it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not properly posting in this thread despite having as many as 5 good stories to tell
lips3341 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if lazy or preplanning. Apartment needed repainting and lamdlord said we could paint it whatever we wanted - jist go get paint thats already paid for. We took drywall filling compound, spread it on a piece of cardboard to let it dry and then color matched to that. The place looked like we didnt even touch a wall when we left.
Factor86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rescheduled jury duty the maximum three times, then didn't appear. Called and requested a medical extension. Never filled out th
Ah fuck. It.
jannikn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't eat for 15 hours. I was too lazy
autumnx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I came down with mononucleosis after prom when I was 16 and became the laziest girl in the history of the world. I got a really bad case of it. Our living room couch had an imprint of my body, basically. Since my parents both worked full time, I was home alone mostly. I would find little ways to get things. I'd spray the remote with Pam so that my dogs would always take it and when they'd come by I'd grab it, clean it off, use it, repeat the process. I would hide snacks in the couch cushions just in case I ran out so I wouldn't starve to death. I'd keep deodorant there along with those mini toothbrushes, Luden's throat drops, socks, a hair brush, my phone, my laptop, all chargers, headphones, and tons of bottled water. It was my own little hut.
berlinbrown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Moved into new place, didn't unpack the boxes for 5 months
Dinersore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Opening this thread and reading only a few words from each post, even the ones that are just one sentence.
JasonEAltMTG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I skipped a day of Law School because I had a hard time finding a parking spot.
Biosfear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
saab121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dragged one half of my teleporter next to the toilet, and put the other half by my computer so I can piss in the toilet without effort!
Misanthrope616 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was sitting on the couch and spilt a whole pint glass full of water over myself, instead of getting up to deal with it I just went to sleep until I was dry. Woke up a few times, was still wet, went back to sleep
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not really lazy but I did not want to search the disk for CoD4 for my pc so I downloaded it. I had the serial saved somewhere on my pc so I could play online without any problems.
MeowTseTongue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Writing for my roommate (because he is too lazy)! He actually moved his mini fridge and computer right up to his bed so he could eat In bed and use the computer all day. When sitting up for the keyboard was too much, he ordered a wireless keyboard and mouse to make things easier and lay down.
He never did get a bed pan, so he occasionally got up to use the bathroom although I always wonder why he saved a few empty bottles..
Un0va ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a binder with a bunch of folders into it, like more than I needed. I didn't want to put the tabs in so I just shoved papers in at random. Now I have like 2 or 3 unmarked folders for each subject.
Bigmurph762 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom
kombox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was sitting in my basement and I realized it was cold and I was not wearing any socks, so i grabbed my cellphone and called my house so I could ask my brother who was in the living room to go upstairs and get me some socks.
mmmannino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but one of my friend's old roommates had been putting off cleaning the dishes for a long time. It finally got to the point where every dish in the house was piled high in the sink. His solution? He just threw them all away and bought new ones.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to push my trashcan with my car, so that I wouldn't have to get out of the car. Unfortunately, the trash can held its ground and ended up wedged under my car. The front tires weren't touching the ground. I was shocked and awed by the plastic trash can's ability to hold up the heavy end of a 1997 Ford Crown Victoria.
Palindromer101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just washed a shirt that I threw up on during cinco de mayo...
graperkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fell asleep in high school economics class, woke up with a piece of paper stuck to the side of my face and left it there for the duration of the class.
I failed the course.
griffith12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put little effort into a response...
nuke_deal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Have just 3 pair of clothes for the past 3 years, cos i am too lazy to go shopping. Of course, I do not wash them often too. Deodorant to the rescue.
traviskoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thrown a playing card at spider to kill it instead of stepping on it got em
b4llp1tg0l3m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This post
Frypant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I peaked in highschool in the early 2000's. I cabled my computer's switch to my bed so i can turn it on in the morning and off at night from the bed.
hornwalker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is a story of all-around Lazyness. As many of you probably do, I would often wash and dry my clothes, dump them out on my bed and not fold or put them away for quite a while.
Well, one day my roomate hid in my pile of clothes on my bed-his plan was to scare me when I came in. He was perfectly hidden so I didn't see him. I sat down at my bedroom desk and started watching a movie on my computer. APparently my roomate became interested in the movie and watched it with me(still hidden in my pile of clothes, mind you).
The other thing about my roomate is he can't watch a movie without falling asleep 85% of the time, so he totally passed out and took a nice nap in my laundry. After the movie I left and did something else I think. He never ended up scaring me. SO yeah. I'd write a more interesting ending but I'm pretty lazy right now.
skypry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought new clothes because I didn't feel like doing laundry.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing...
midnightmonkey59 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking stoners
Scriptplayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Weaksauce top posts. Not work for two years after high school.
krndandaman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My apartment is 5 minutes from school. When we were lazy we took the bus to school.
RJPennyweather ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've laid in bed drawing out a pulley system that I knew I would never make that was designed to make it so that I could do everything I needed in my bedroom from my bed. Because I didn't want to get up and close my own door.
prizzinguard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went to the store and bought new underwear because I didn't want to do laundry.
waffles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday I was making food and had Netflix on. The show ended and I downloaded the remote app instead of walking over to the remote.
I mean, shit, I was already standing and moving around the kitchen. But I can't take 5 steps to the remote?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Never did a dish for two years. Dirty dishes went into a ten gallon bucket under the kitchen table. When the bucket was full it went in the garbage. When there were no more dishes we ate off cardboard box pieces.
Nuclearbananas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Refused to take a shit because I was comfy in bed and didn't have energy to deal with the cold seat.
nlfo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
jabba_the_wut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've went pee in a bottle or cup instead of putting on clothes and walking to the washroom.
Slept with the lights on, too lazy to get up to turn them off.
I was in bed and had to pee really really badly, fell asleep and held it till morning.
I got married because I was to lazy to break up with my girlfriend.
I'm too lazy to carry my entire basket of clean clothes upstairs from the basement, so every morning I'll walk down 2 flights of stairs then back up, while still leaving the basket there. That's so dumb, takes more effort.
There's more, but I'm to lazy to type them.
hbhutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If I drop a pen at work, instead of bending over and picking it up, I grab a new pen out of a drawer.
m4ng0girl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Texted my husband to ask for something to drink rather than get out of the bathtub and get it myself.
Ruckus55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In order for my roommate to stop playing his shirt Music and snoozing his wall alarm clock (without battery back up) for two hours.....
I shut down power to my entire dorm building. Took them 3 hours to figure out what happened. Thank you kind janitor for explaining how the forms electrical system worked.
nartchie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.
JewSmurf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Squeezing a chocolate Snack Pack into my mouth with one hand while directing a stream of urine with the other. I was in the bathroom, by the way.
undisputed_truth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tuck my phone in to my beanie when im walking
crispyjay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm super late, but in college I lost my contact case. So I used two spoons filled with saline solution and put a card over the spoons.
theTAINTticklerJK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I watched cartoon network for close to a year because I couldn't find my remote.
Irie267 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, my parents bought me a bunch of new dishes and silverware to eat with. After like 6 months of never washing them after use, the accumulation of filth became too much to bear. I put them in a cardboard box and threw it on the lawn and one day, the box just disappeared.
BlueTequila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My light switch broke so I replaced the incandescent with an LED one so I can unscrew it. The benefits of being 6.5' tall lol
ny_rangers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Almost daily, I'll start typing a comment, only to realize there's a typo in the beginning. Rather than go back and fix it, I just hit cancel and move on
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The remote was on the arm rest next to me and I didn't want to move my arm. Dr. Oz it is.
Kilmoore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I... ah, never mind
reymon359 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i use my short summer pajamas pants as my underpants, i am the full day wearing them, also while sleeping. i change them once per week
tyrone91396 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was hanging out at a friend's house and my friend asked me to leave because she had to go somewhere with her family. My response, "Trust me I really want to leave but I'm just way too lazy to get up and walk to the door."
redditiem2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tongue popcorn
magare808 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
jbarson1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been showering in pitch black for the last couple of weeks. I've run out of light bulbs and I can't bother getting new ones.
Jallis370 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
Marco_de_Pollo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was once lying in bed. Called me dad on the phone to bring me a glass of orange juice. The sound of disappointment in his voice was palpable.
keepingreal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every morning I make coffee, but I never change the filter until it is completely overflowing. I just keep dumping fresh grounds on top of the old wet grounds from yesterday.
Whoneedsyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Right now, i am redditing from my phone, because my lap top ran out of battery and the charger is upstairs.
FundaMental_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got a job instead of working for myself.
WentoX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back when i was still living with my parents i would be to lazy to bring my laundry down to our own laundry room, my solution? Blast dubstep on my soundsystem, Mom comes running up the stairs, furious because the wall paintings are just barely holding on downstairs. And just before she leaves:
-"so, if you're going downstairs anyway, could you take my laundry with you?"
I don't think she ever caught on that this was my intention because she kept falling for it.
Hustle_Bones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up my dad always said I was so lazy I could Shit in bed and kick it out with my foot.
NoApollonia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Turn on TV to look for something to watch. I end up distracted and end up leaving remote out of reach. I end up watching whatever crap is on the channel the TV was last on instead of simply getting up and getting the remote.
EristanaeChed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
tired to swallow your saliva
dukfuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Nisas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do my laundry, put the laundry in my hamper, carry it back to my room, leave the clean clothes in the hamper, pull clean clothes out of it when I want to change, and throw dirty clothes on the floor.
roasterloo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered pizza delivery because I wanted a soda and I didn't feel like walking one block to 7-11.
Baby_Rhino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time, me and some friends were all really high and watching family guy on a laptop.
After a while, the video started freezing for a split second every minute or so, but we couldn't be bothered to get up and fix it so stayed sitting/lying/generally slothing.
Then a dialogue box popped up blocking the middle of the screen. We still did nothing.
Then an entire window popped up in front of the video.
So we just listened from then on.
bigcountry5064 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My couch is within reaching distance of my front door. I have ordered numerous a take-out food because I didn't feel like walking to the kitchen.
My favorite that I've personally seen: A person in Walmart walking out the exit doors, stop half way through when they realize the doors are manual, only to turnaround and walk back through the automatic doors.
SJaggz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm posting this on behalf of a friend, he was to lazy to post something
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pooped with the seat down
mrdab2005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tl;dr
JPDubs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.
pseudomccoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We have this cool rule in college, where if you fail the class tests you can submit the assignment for the same which will like writing it two times or so. I didn't study, failed and then I was instructed to write it twice, I revolted, then it was made to once. Went home, felt even more bored to look for answers and write it. Didn't turn up to college the next day. Called the people who had to write the impositions, and asked them to give the assignment to me after they got it back from the teacher. Next day, printed the first page with my name and stapled someone else's assignment and submitted it.
Fonkar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
don't smoke anymore, but used to call the taxi service and ask them to bring beer and cigs. The driver would bring the recepit for u to see exactly how much they were.
pockatuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once used a laser pointer from bed to get my cat to shut the door.
greenalias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once my roommate and I paid friends 10 dollars in quarters to wash our dishes.
mechanicalhand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When my hair gets really greasy to the point most people would take a shower, I've been just rubbing my head with a towel before class so that it looks a bit less greasy. It still looks greasy.
JosephFourier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was playing video games on my bed, my mom entered the room, talked to me and left the door open and went on her business in another instance of the house. I called the nearest phone(home phone) of her and asked her to come and close the door of my room. God, I was such an asshole.
Robofetus-5000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, our smoke alarm went off at like 6am. Somehow all 4 of us in the apartment were so lazy, we refused to get out of bed and each slept through it. That morning we had found a surge protect had gone bad and caught on fire.
TheCrazedChemist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This may not be on the same caliber as some of the other ones here, but I have now grown a full beard and mustache, but not because I wanted to. It was 100% because I'm too lazy to shave. Good thing I like it now though, worked out well for me I suppose.
Timcave5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My light switch. One day I was sitting on my couch, lounging in the nude, with my snacks and wanted to turn off the light because of the glare from the sun. I proceeded to throw 2 entire bags of pretzel rods, the big thick ones, at the light switch and, miraculously, it turned off. Then I masturbated. Since I was too lazy to find any tissues I just spewed onto my carpet. Then I took a nap.
swawif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put a spare cloth in my car because I'm going to somewhere hot
2 weeks later, it's still there
mil1ion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last week I was doing some work in my bedroom and really had to pee, but too lazy to walk across the hall to the bathroom. Peed in my fish tank. They all died the next week.
Poppinfr3sh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Setting up a laptop at work on my desk - instead of turning my head and arms slightly to the left to use it, I installed VNC so I could just use my normal machine.
SuperGL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use my phone to google, while I'm still sitting in front of my PC with google webpage already loaded up.
fcisler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Every day at work we had to send out two statistics, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. When a co worker was out it fell back to me.
Wrote a program to email it out.
A couple years afterwards we changed our email server. I couldn't find the source code for the program. Re-write it? Sure.
Except we have VoIP now. And phones that can display a basic XML webpage.
Those statistics are now updated every 5 minutes and available on the phone at any time of the day.
CosmonaughtSteve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put on a dress shirt and then noticed a big crease down the front of it, so I stuffed a magazine down the front and ironed the shirt whilst wearing it.
It actually worked pretty well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered food from Amazon because I didn't want to go to the store.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
TheGreatSpaces ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ordered $40 worth of Pizza Hut and waited 40 minutes just so I could get an ice cream without walking to the shop, which is on the ground floor of my building.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I stayed up all night last night to study for a calc test. Just reread the syllabus and found out we can drop our lowest test grade. I grabbed a beer, got back in bed, opened Reddit and saw this. I now feel fully supported in my laziness. Thank you Reddit, happy Tuesday!
DarkPooPoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, sometimes I will call my housemate on the other room and pretend that, as if I need some help on some stuff ... And when they are going to leave the room, I'll ask them to close the light and the door in my room because I need to sleep.
Alecre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sink full of dishes? No problem, threw them out and bought a new set.
TheGhostRedditor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend IM'd me from the top bunk of our dorm to ask me what time it was. Count the clocks with me:
Twoje ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mom offered me $1 for each dandelion/weed I picked from her yard/garden. No thanks gotta play s'more gamez.
hendelmasad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
MrIAnderson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
eat the bud rather than roll up.
A1A5KA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought an Xbox One and haven't touched a TV or cable box controller since.
aresef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dream come true, I know, right?
But it's so much work to talk. If only the Kinect understood grunts.
A1A5KA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
True. I did also find myself a little pissed off this morning when I woke up, grabbed my phone next to the bed, fired up the smart glass app and then realized I couldn't turn on my xbox and start battlefiled in the livingroom without either hollering across the house or actually getting my ass out if bed. I was disappointed with my own lazy as I would have had to get up to play anyways. Its ok. I'm writing the suggestion to Microsoft at work today.
aresef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"UGGGH UNGGH GAAAHH"
"A1A5KA is now signed in"
navynutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.
razl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sometimes......ok lots of times.........ok all the time.... i use a 2 day old dish even if its manky just poor cereal / cofee in on top of the mank and im good to gooo........you may call it lazy but i call it efficient
razl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
sometime i submit things without finis
JellyCream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Called my roommate to open the door to the apartment instead of opening it myself.
j0siahs74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Peed out of a window instead of use the bathroom, across the hall.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just now when we woke up, I grabbed my iPad and, since it's 53 in the house, I turned on the furnace via the Nest app.
Luner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Currently too lazy to even type out the laziest thing I've ever done. zzzz...
GlassesShirtJacket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So I am legally blind in my left eye and my right is not too far from it either. This affects my school work and while I should normally just bring my glasses to school, I do not. This is because usually when I get home I go upstairs to my room and forget my glasses in my bag, and I am too lazy to walk back down to get them. So I end up not bringing them to school and suffer all day.
llSpektrll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once used a banana. for scale.
andoink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've mentioned this before, but it's what I always refer to as one of the laziest things I've seen someone do.
Back in vanilla WoW, for some reason or another, a friend of mine owed me a total of 18 gold. Upon requesting him to pay up one day, he opened a trade window with me and entered 15 gold into the trade box. I mentioned over voice chat that he actually owed me 18 gold and he tells me to go ahead and accept it - so I do. Then he re-opens another trade window with me for the remaining 3 gold. I had to ask why...
"I didn't feel like reaching for the 8."
jorgest3r_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I read somewhere that Shaq once paid his sister $600 to make him a sandwich.
Louis100396 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
Dohume ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To not have an own point of view.
IdenticalThings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In a university tech course, I had an assignment where I had to (learn) to code an HTML web page. Basic bullshit, but it seemed tedious.
So I made a thread on a coding forum, explaining that I had dysedic dyslexia, and was having an incredibly hard time with the assignment. I lightly hinted that my professor was an asshole, and didn't take my disability into consideration.
I outlined each part of the requirements (in moderately dyslexic-esque writing, at the end I wrote "thanks very wuch!"). I made sure that someone could just code it chunk by chunk, and I could copy and paste that shit and hand it in.
So, after a few hours of Counterstrike 1.6 (this was mid 2000's) some guy had it ready and waiting. Shit yea.
oh_no_a_hobo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
During my fresman year of college, ah fuck it
Sigma207 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TODAY I have two finals do. One is a 7 page essay on conflict theory, functionalism, and interactionism for sociology. The other essay is a preswasive essay that is only about 4 pages. I did them both last night.
princetab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last night? You're a total keener compared to true procrastinators, son.
gidget911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was supposed to go over a friends house last week to just hang out and watch movies. I called to cancel with a lame excuse because I was too lazy to go out and be lazy with another person.
tortillandbeans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once did my laundry on sunday and didn't put away the clothes after from the hamper until it was the next sunday. I just straight up wore clothes from the hamper and tossed my dirty clothes to the side of the hamper until it was empty and then i refilled it with the dirty clothes on the side for the next wash.
stenhjarta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I often end up sleeping on the couch because I can't be bothered to get up and go to the bedroom. I always have blankets and pillows with me and it's pretty comfortable so I don't think it's that bad
BearAKA17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching a baseball game and eating sunflower seeds at my parents house a few years ago. I have no idea why I decided to do this but I was just spitting the seeds out on floor instead of into a cup like I usually do. My brother saw it and promptly asked me why the fuck I was doing that and I just shrugged and told him I was just going to vacuum it up.
Fast forward to my mom coming home, losing her shit, and forcing me to clean it up.
Fast forward to me breaking the fucking vacuum trying to vacuum it up.
NateWna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back when all my friends and I did was play video games, we always had a few two liters of soda to drink out of while we played for hours on end. I went to the pet store and bought some of that clear tubing for fish tanks, then I ran it from my two liter up to my mouth that way I didn't have to stop playing and pick up the soda to get a drink.
Ladbon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Stopped buying forgot buying toothpaste for a month. Shopped maybe ten times that months and my market is 5 minutes walking distance
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
wilma1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When my sister comes home to visit she sleeps in the same bedroom as me. Her phone alarm goes off and she refuses to turn it off so I just grab my phone that's next to me and call it to shut the alarm off instead of getting up to turn it off.
Tler126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No towel to dry off a plate? Microwave it dry.
saharanwrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once worked in a warehouse. My job consisted of waiting around for materials to be delivered, sign for them, and stick them in a big box to be trucked away. I could have done it all while sitting if I didn't have to carry the stuff to the box. So I built a "mobile logistics platform" It was a chair, desk and foot rest on a pallet, that was jacked up on wheels. It was difficult to move around, but dammit I stayed seated.
bullshitname0906 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lit a cigar with my grill because it was closer to me than my lighter. Maybe a foot and a half away.
BenAtkinsChafer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i ordered therty quids worth of curry instead of cooking for myself
gdx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Purchased new clothes using amazon prime instead of doing laundry.
FartingBob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched 6 hours of reality TV because the remote was on the table and out of reach. Since that day i know what it feels like to be in a coma.
kerningz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I get really lazy when it comes to school work. I'm a junior in High School right now with mostly A's and B's but I can't remember the last time I did a homework at home. Even when someone lets me copy their homework, I pay them to copy it for me. -Sigh-
westersingel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my roomy and me didnt trash our glas for 8 months living in our apartment cause the next container is somewhat in a inconvenient position. Did it last weekend, total of 35 shopping bags full of glas, 99 bottles of booze and 263 bottles of wine. Took us sth. like 4 hours to get rid of it. At least I dont have to do it for another 8 months now. Cheers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time, I put on a pair of jeans only to discover that my belt was on a different pair.... so I took those jeans off and put on the others instead of just moving the belt.
Apellosine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For programming assignments in University (early 2000s) we had to submit them using some sort of online class system. Anyway, all the system checked for was that the needed files had the correct file extension and totalled under a certain size. On one occasion when I had been particularly lazy and forgotten to complete the assignment I thought quickly and found some small .dll files that I could copy, rename and submit.
I heard back from my lecturer by the Tuesday following the assignment submission deadline that the files had become corrupted and could I hand deliver them on a CD to make sure. I had spent the entire weekend getting the assignment done waiting for this contact.
Lachshmock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Skipped leg day
canoodle_gouda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my classroom I often find myself sitting just out of arm's reach of the object I need. "I would like a volunteer to go get me that pen!" Seriously 18 little hands go shooting up every time and I don't have to get up.
Strikersquad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Eh.. I'll post out later
sons_of_mothers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
FINALLY a place for my story!
I was taking a shower once and I really had to poop so I shit in my hand it dunked it in the toilet. No regrets.
ernie1850 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was assigned homework, then didn't do it.
awfml ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to walk the extra steps to the toilet. Peed in the tub because it was closer.
CasZenga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
longbowz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit my pants while eating a sandwich once, finished my sandwich and what I was watching on TV before I cleaned up... not proud of it, but its the truth
Wiggles7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so lazy, I took lessons on a player piano!
DakotaKim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shirk responsibilities and stay in bed all day
sticksittoyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched a terrible show because I was too lazy to grab the remote that was at the OTHER end of the coffee table.
Kyuti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not reply to this with a long story
Yuki_Ame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got lazy to get up of the computer chair. Practically cooked my dinner and ate it while sitting down.
AbnormalDream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once frisbeed a dinner plate out my window and into a tree because I didn't feel like cleaning it. It made an almost popping sound as it hit the tree and looked like it just exploded into dust. It was awesome.
El_Panqueque ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
pattiobear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was woken up by my alarm clock, so I proceeded to turn it off, as well as about 20 alarms I had set on my phone. Then, realizing I was cold, I unpacked my sleeping bag, crawled in, and slept the entire day, missing all my classes.
kariface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I regularly lay on the couch with popcorn spilled across my chest and use my tongue to do a frog/chameleon grab to get it so I don't have to use my hands.
borderwave2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When this was asked a few weeks ago, the top comment was "Ordered under wear off Amazon with overnight shipping to avoid doing laundry."
RabiesLion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This happened last night. I was in the office alone and the motion sensor lights turned off. Instead of getting up and walking 2 metres I decided to throw stress balls towards the sensor (I had a massive box of company logo stress balls at my feet. I went through over 60 with no avail so I worked the next couple of hours in the dark then it loomed on me! I'd have to pick them up! So while on my way out I dragged the box over to the graveyard of squishy balls and left the box looking like it had been "tipped" over!.....the perfect crime!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ezbior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
l
Hal_Nein_Thousand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ran some hot water off a hot dog to heat it up.
TaeSicaJung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
SofaKingStewPit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not responding to this post cuz I'm lazy
biggups ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Finding and replacing all the abbreviations in my essay to get up to the word count.
PyroNecrophile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been separated for almost 5 years now, but neither of us have filed for divorce because it's a bunch of annoying paperwork.
aR4ndomblackguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest thing i've done is nothing. Nothing at all.
Fuckin_Hipster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I watched 'My Cousin Vinnie' twice in a row on TBS when I was hungover and couldn't find the remote.
bhaity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sleep with an eye mask because my light switch is across the room.
Fishies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used apple remote to be able to change songs from the room over while I pooped
OrangeJuiceSpanner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
World of Warcraft.
rlavoie24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I made a big straw with little straws.. So I could drink water while laying down.
draculator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I dump all my food directly down the toilet. too lazy to digest.
italianapples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
slapded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pull my garbage can from the end of the driveway to my garage, while in my car.
borisroson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To avoid washing up I once wrapped a dirty plate in clingfilm.
SMURGwastaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my flatmates do this with tin foil literally every day
borisroson ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:10:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I only did it cos there was a bit of a cleaning stand off with my housemates but I can definitely see it happening again
nelmaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't, I'm lazy!
soopsoopa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"Sterilized" cup with boiling water, poured more water for tea.
LiamBMX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not doing something when I should have been doing something sounds quite lazy...?
3Goggler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I threw a pot away because I didn't feel like washing it.
MIGHTYBURRITO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There was a long line waiting to get coffee at tims In the morning..everyone was standing around waiting...I decided fuck standing...I grab a chair and am the only person In line sitting down waiting for my coffee
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I only press the "minute plus" button on the microwave so I don't have to move my fingers too much.
Rootkit9208 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on the couch playing video games, but I started to get a bad case of sun in my eyes. Rather than move to the other couch or close the window, I paused and took a nap. The sun was out of my eyes when I woke up.
Wombat_of_Death ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I lean back in the chair, prop my feet up on the desk, and use the on-screen keyboard because I can't reach the physical one from there.
being_ironic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Occasionally, although my wife spends so much of her time organizing the recycling and compost, when she gives it to me on my way to work to dispose of outside, I will take a detour on the elevator to the floor below us, get out and drop the plastic and compost bags into the all purpose trash chute (she would catch me doing this on our floor) then I get back into the elevator, go down to the lobby and proceed to walk passed the recycling and compost bins outside since they're on my way but annoying to open/use.
thankyouforyourinput ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to use The Force to pick something up that's out of my reach not once but at least four times until I eventually give up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.. literally
House_Atirical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Unable to find any clean cups in the house, and unwilling to clean one, I emptied the crumbs out of a pringle tube and used it as a cup.
dc295 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how many people were too lazy to even comment.
tOSU_AV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used a BB gun to turn off my audio receiver. It worked, but only because the force of the shot totally annihilated the power button and broke the receiver. didn't have to move tho.
beastlyart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bent down to test whether carpet was dry after I washed it. It was. Realized how tired I was and laid down. Fell asleep on the floor directly next to my bed. No alcohol or drugs were involved, just couldn't muster the energy to get to my knees and roll myself into bed :| Slightly ashamed.
poroboted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 3 days duty in a military outpost and my duty was to change the watchmen, but the outpost was quite small , so i told the guards to change without my help because they were like 2 minutes away from their fellow soldiers, I slept for 3 days in the row , with breaks only to eat and shit.
mesohungie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered delivery from a deli that was at the ground floor of my building. I lived in a 4th floor walk-up.
sirron811 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I make the bed while I'm still in it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My whole life is the laziest thing I've ever done
Foundmybeach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had to pee, but I didn't want to get up so I masturbated.
eladivine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I work at an office where the door is opened using a magnetic card that is coded with a fingerprint.
For 8 months I developed a system of calling the office two minutes before I got there to open the door for me, saying I forgot my card at home, hoping it will be a different person every time.
They were on to my laziness eventually and I went upstairs to the office where they made me a card.
thejohnblog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Downvoting this.
metalcabeza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing, of course.
Bollaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my friends ran out of water and were too lazy to literally walk 5 minutes to get some. We ended up boiling tap water, and adding lemons to remove the taste.
Blackettt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did all my GCSE art coursework then on the day it was due to be handed in decided I couldn't be bothered to cycle the couple of miles to school just for the sake of getting a better grade and just failed the coursework instead.
amar112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A couple of months back o got into an accident on my bike...the other Guy said he would pay for my bike...and till today I was to lazy to send the bill...around $600 bucks
neontimmers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a wireless mouse and keyboard so I can play on the computer while in bed.
NickDownUnder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought a Wii u Just so that I didnt have to leave my bedroom to play games. The gamepad lives in my room and can pick up the signal from through the wall. And it can control the tv so i can Fuck with people from my bed
Edit: spelling
Bjolg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Got high, went to the store which is about 5 min walk from where I lived. Called a cab to get home, which is expensive as fuck in Norway.
dogdickafternoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...nothing?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Looking on reddit while I should be writing my assignment.
sbbh3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I visited reddit
Omageusn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Checked the weather app on my phone whilst in bed, instead of getting up to look out the window.
classicsat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have done this both ways when making microcontroller circuits
Change software code to account for mistakes in hardware, change hardware to account for mistakes in code, or make one more complex to make the other easy.
ElasticPlasticity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pissed in a beer can, sitting down, because I couldn't be bothered to get up to go to the toilet. I live in a tiny studio flat.
naimnotname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My brother texted me while in the same place for the WiFi password that we keep on the coffee table.
Melvin_Udall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once called my brother on the phone and asked him to look up a phone number because I was too lazy to get up and get the phone book. This was long before smart phones.
TexasPoonTapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest thing I have done in the last 24 hours was take my belt off from the couch and fish for the remote on the ground.
OriginsOfSymmetry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was laying in bed when the need for sleep overtook me, I had to turn the tv off but the controller was on the tv stand. I threw shoes, a bouncy ball, an old Yak Back I had, and lastly a golf ball. The golf ball smashed the screen and I just decided fuck it, tv's off.
RazZaHlol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was watching football in a pub. My pint of beer was emtpy. The bartender didn't show up anymore. Long story short: I took out my cellphone and called the bartender and asked for another beer, because i was too lazy to go to the bar.
deadmonkey62 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I finally sat down in my chair only to find out that the remote was all the way across the room. I downloaded and remote app on my phone and turned my TV on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm procrastinating, browsing through Wikipediainstead of doing other, important stuff. As I'm waiting for a page to load, my eyes wander across the room to where my latest Netflix discs are stacked on my desk. I could not remember which movies they were.
Instead of walking ten feet across the room to find out, I went to my Netflix queue.
Reddicle32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Asking one of my kids to come in from another room and hand me the remote that is sitting on the coffee table right next to my feet. That way, I don't have to move my laptop from my lap. I'll occasionally step it up a notch by having them change the channel or adjust the volume as well.
bennynobuyuki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do the same thing. What else are kids for?
Joebebs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sleep on my couch most of the time now, I'm too lazy to go upstairs in my bedroom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Passed out drunk on an empty beer can laying on my bed one njght, slept on it for three months.
rafael000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once...nevermind..
clydewilt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
CryoUser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm, that's a hard one
nhluhr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On screen keyboard instead of reaching for the wireless keyboard while using my computer-as-a-tv in the living room.
Maester_Hodor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I posted now
Eiseman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This answ
SamCropper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I did something really lazy once but I cba telling you about it.
o00oo00o ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. Get it?! I did NOTHING... Cuz that's lazy.
lobo9474 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I cant be fucked to type it out
WonTonChin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
thi
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've always wanted to lucid dream but I'm always lazy to do them stuff. ...Then a particular dream happened where I would love for it to be reality happened. I was in the helicarrier -- yes, The Avengers -- and I think I had the same rank as Agent Hill. In that dream I was aware that I was dreaming which was the first step to lucid dream right? Right.
I went "Ahh, can't be bothered deal with Director Fury." and proceeded to force myself awake.
A dream I've always wanted and I just threw it away like that. Yeah I know right. Nice job. orz
Screamspasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Alektorophobiae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was taking notes in my education class and once my hand reached the right side of the page I was too lazy to bring it back to the left to continue taking notes... I decided to just begin each sentence from the center of the page for the rest of class.
rollingrandy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't be bothered to wash dishes for my cereal so I ended up eating fruit loops out of a ziplock baggy with a butter knife.
Tandran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called my mom from my bedroom and asked her to order me a pizza...she was in the kitchen...I couldn't remember the number.
Lord_of_Chaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
Rexingtonboss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
plantinggo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well I don't have a girl so Sundays I lay on the couch and watch football all day.
I need me a girl.
TheMadBlimper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Start, but not finish, the answer to th
Haxxox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to take an online quiz my teacher had put up. When I get to class it turns out nobody had been able to do it because of a glitch so she gave us another chance. Which I did not take because I was too lazy.
ReverendSaintJay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as my firstborn was old enough to walk, I started teaching her how to play fetch. Fetch her toy, her blankie, the remote...
It almost took too much work to really qualify as "lazy", but it has paid off in spades as I have not had to get up to find the remote in almost 3 years.
pandasforkarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
magnersy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
Ygreg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Installed a no-cd crack for a game, because the CD tray of my laptop was blocked by the mess on my desk (mainly some CD's, including the one for this game).
I_Can_Verify_That ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I made stove top ramen in the microwave.
wheeler9691 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's entry level lazy right there. I've been making Ramen in the microwave since I was a wee lad. Now if you made it on top of a kerosene heater to avoid moving to the kitchen...
BWallyC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was supposed to do something but instead I just
mott3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This.
Surprise_Sax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i don't think i've ever upvoted so many people in one thread, but this one is just fantastic.
a few things i can recal:
at work, after having my coffee, i use the hot water from our water cooler thingy to wash my cup, then add cold water to it to make it warm, and then water the plants with it. this is to avoid leaving the office space and going to the communal kitchen (10 meters at most).
a few time i've left the food in the tupperware for too long, and it began to grow mold, so i just threw the whole thing out.
my 1st real piece of code that i wrote was to in-part automate my job (at the time) of converting psd files to html email. This actually ended up saving me about an hour a day. Obviously i still pretended to take just as long with my work as prior to the script and browsed the net instead...
kentathon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Signed up for weekend overtime just so I'd have to get out of the house and would go to the store on my way home and buy the shit I need.
mysunnyside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Was too lazy to make the 5 minute walk to the bus stop, so I took the light rail train that was across the street to a major station, where I hopped on a second light rail train that dropped me off about two minutes from from the bus stop. Added ~30 minutes to my trip, but didn't have to move legs as much. So it was all good.
doittuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Should have been in class. Nope, smoking weed in my car in the parking lot. Just didn't feel like going to class that day.
wunfuntin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school, My cat threw up on one side of the comforter on my bed and I just used the other side of the comforter until someone else washed it.
EDIT. Word
DirkBelig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted to hear a song and rather than getting up to pull the CD off the shelf 20 feet away I tormented the album and listened to that.
CanYouSeeTheHorizon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Saw this post. Too lazy to comment. Slept. Woke up now in the morning and posted.
DeeJayDelicious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
wheeler9691 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger I never had a nightstand, but I always took a drink to bed with me. Having to lean over the edge of the bed to pick up this cup then lean sideways to drink it was frustrating. So I taped a bunch of straws together so I could drink in bed. Straw was like 3 feet long.
Reddit_dailly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to pee in bottles in the morning instead of walking downstairs to the bathroom.
BallsJohns0n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
kellyphant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I accidently wrinkled one of my work shirts. It stayed on my desk for about 2 weeks before I decided to put it back in the wash because I didn't want to iron it.
dumbledank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i left a dish in my room instead of taking it to the kitchen, after several days it was pretty gross, so i threw it away instead of washing it. I have done this more than once.
ksadeck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to scoop myself a bowl of icecream, and thus had none.
Squiggmont ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paid ยฃ200 for light bulbs I can turn off with my phone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The way my office at home is set up, walking in, turning on the light, and getting to my desk was just terribly inefficient (it's a small room, but the switch placement is unfortunate. So I installed a proximity censor light switch. Now I just walk in and sit down, and it is glorious. Did the same in the bathrooms, but it makes a little more sense in bathrooms.
kellyphant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I get hungry and I want fast food, but I'm too lazy to walk out the door, into my car to go through the drive through
clubswithseals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
wasn't me but my best friend in high school. He was drunk to the extent that you'd expect a senior to be upon realizing that all your best friends would be heading off to college soon, and you wouldn't. He and my other buddy were sharing his room (2 beds), he half-woke up and realized he had to poop but didn't want to move, so he didn't. He shat himself then and there, pants soaking in his own dookie the mammoth slept.
Kartharos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
messaged my brother on facebook asking him if he could being me a bottle of water. he was 4 meters away in the other room.
TalksAboutWaffles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ate frozen waffles. That is, they were still frozen. I was already in the kitchen. Toaster was 3.141592653589793238463 feet away.
jjmuns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
BigDanny2013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Brought all my dirty dishes to the restaurant I managed and ran them through the dishwasher
AwkwardMassEffectFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was about to sleep but it was to hot under the covers. I yelled for my dad to come up, he was on the first floor, and said that it was important he'd come. When he arrived I told him I needed him to flip the cover so it would be on the cold side..
bobby_sixgun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of me was watching a movie, and all these beer bottles were standing on the table and partially blocking his vision. Instead of getting up (the bottles were slightly out of reach), he kicked at the table causing all the bottles to fall off. Obviously he never picked up those bottles after the movie was finished.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I drink my coffee black and my whiskey straight with no ice because I can't be bothered with adding cream, sugar, or ice
Datripnipslip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my very so lazy friend. I was playing xbox live and saw him on. Alright, join a party. After clicking 'x' button to invite him to a party I wait. And waited. And waited. Then I get a call from him, "hello?" "Hey" "hey?" I was so confused. "I was too lazy to put my mic in so I called you." "Why?" "Because, I was just to lazy." His phone was down stairs in his 3 story house. He lives on the top and his mic was right next to him.
lem0nparty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
to lazy to read windows serial under the laptop. downoaded crack
orangeandbluefanatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once slept on the couch in my living room instead of on my bed because there was clean, unfolded clothes on my bed and I didn't feel like putting them on the floor.
BookNovum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live in China. McDonald's delivers.
That's all I'm going to say about that.
redwoulds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Check the weather on my phone from bed, despite my bed being right next to the window.
keewa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fell asleep on the toilet with my head resting against the sink. I was there for about 3 hours without even realising it. Had a hilarious red dent on my forehead for the rest of the day.
SuperBump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too Lazy;Didn't Read
imapotato99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest thing I ever done is..............
blade_point2005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a pool stick with a strategically bent paper clip attached to the end of it so I could sit on my couch and eject my PS2 games. I would then use said paper clip to hook the disc and bring it to me, put another game on it then return it to the PS2. I thought I was pretty damn smart. Turns out I'm just lazy.
Jmosh42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've called my home phone number while I was in my room when I wanted to ask my mom something.
loptthetreacherous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have all Age of Empires games torrented because the CD's are up the stairs. I don't see it as immoral because I've already bought them.
Diffuse_ie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's happening right now. All I have to do is plug in the printer cable about one inch away from my laptop's USB port and print out an important document. But something about this shit just seems so goddamn complicated. What will happen if I plug in the cable? Be possibly met with a low-ink level message? And then i'll have to look for a folder for this shit..
I'll just print it out at work.
Ninja47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I hooked up pulleys to my ceiling and floor. Then I ran fishing line from the light switch through the pulleys to a hook near my bed.
This wasn't lazy, because it took me about 10 minutes to set up, but I never had to get up again to hit the light switch, and that's the lazy part.
gwhandle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I still haven't unpacked the last load of stuff out of my trunk from my second-to-last move, which was three years ago.
becksftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was told at a Boy Scout campout that we couldn't play capture the flag until we had collected a sizable amount of wood for a fire. Went to the general store at the campgrounds and bought firewood.
Glampire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I put the movies that I owned and that Netflix had for instant streaming and put them on the instant queue so I didn't have to physically be bothered to put the disc in the tray.
Thefuckismypassword ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to post my lazy story but it was to hard to explain....
TLDR; Fuck it
Kw1q51lv3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's frighteningly often that I'll take so much time dressing up and packing for the next two days at work because I leave my laptop on at night and I get right back to redditing when I'm eating breakfast that I'll end up taking a 25-30SGD half hour taxi ride to camp rather than spending 1.84SGD on an hour and a half long public transport ride.
fairwayks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sat in the back of a motorboat with my fishing line dragging behind (aka "trolling") to catch white bass. I guess reeling them in did take some energy.
Inflame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a friend - He drove to class, couldn't find a parking spot close to the building, turned around and went home.
M_Baxter19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This: http://imgur.com/f1GSSdl&qSKiNiM
localh81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
tcallanan87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not coming up with a story for this post
th3BlackAngel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I thought I was lazy. You guys make me look like a motherfucking overachiever or something.
shroomenheimer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I keep some shit like sandwich baggies, straws, plastic spoons ect... next to my bed. I had left my drink on the other side of the room and proceeded to spend 20 mins taping straws together so I could drink without getting up. Got the straw into the cup from my bed and immediately knocked it over. Took me 2 days to throw a towel over the spill.
Hombrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
BobbleDick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In highschool I would have my buddy drive me home after hanging out as long as I did the same for him. We lived a block and a half away from each other. I took the deal cause I usually went to his place. I took that great deal.
Pancar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought a macbook pro only for the multifinger trackpad shortcuts...
FunkyDaJunky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Broke my ankle a few years ago, in the night instead of putting the removable cast back on and use the crutches to get to the toilet, I leaned out of the bed and pissed into a plastic storage box, then the next morning my girlfriend would have to empty it as I needed both crutches to move around but I could have got away with 1 crutch and emptied it myself but couldn't be bothered.
thethreadkiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was on the couch and needed one more pillow for comfort. But the pillow was all the way on the other side of the room. I tied the remote control to the sheet I was using and made a grappling hook. I hooked the N64 by the console and cables in the back. Pulled the N64 to me. Then I unplugged two controllers for it. I tied them together and had a more efficient, longer grappling hook. Then I got the pillow after a few tries. The whole thing took about 3 mins to do. But I felt like a lazy genius.
gehnrahl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was really thirsty and had nothing to drink but tap water. So I ordered a pizza and soda; I really didn't care about the pizza, I just wanted something to drink and wanted someone to bring it to me.
constrictor63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used my cell phone to call someone upstairs in the same house.
It's not even a big house and the walls are paper thin.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Been born in the Millennial generation. Apparently, you cannot possibly be lazier.
ninjaclown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I- fuck it. Cbf'd.
kacperp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went to jail for two weeks because i was too lazy to go to my probation officer. Who was leaving in my apartment house.
qidlo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a ceiling fan with a remote control. The ceiling fan is the main source of artificial light in the room. Mind you, there is a wall switch as well. I spent almost an entire year with the fan and the light switched off because I couldn't find the remote. Well, not because I couldn't find it, but because I was too lazy to look for it.
LastChristmas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not the laziest but recently I find myself using Google's and Youtube's keyboard input with my laptop because I can't be bothered to reach for my laptop keyboard to type things out.
lostmyfoundit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger the cable set top boxes used to have small buttons on top to change the channels. At some point the remote broke, so I got to where I could push the buttons with my toes, so I didn't have to move an extra two feet to do it with my hands. My bedroom was pretty small.
Elementi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Texted a friend downstairs to bring me a drink when she came back upstairs seems pretty lazy.
biggysmallz501 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
DarkJS669 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not comment on this thread... Well, shit...
trut3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid in highschool I was supposed to clean up one bag of chips from my room, would've taken a couple seconds, but I was told I had 3 days to do it! Naturally I didnt, apparently had I done it I wouldnt've had to go to school that day! ... Still never picked it up
PALMINGMYFACE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This.
masimone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This one time
lessdothisshit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once didn't go to any of my University classes and did a bunch of drugs instead, then dropped out, and now I live with my parents.
Sure it's not the most exciting story, but that's a lot lazier than what you overachievers are coming up with.
stevyjohny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Logged onto Steam one day during the summer sales. Another buddy was online and wanted to play a game. He told me to buy Star Wars Battlefront 2 because he had that game and said we should play together. It was on sale so I bought it, but he needed to install his copy again. I had seen his setup before. He was one of those people that had all of their dvds and games in one of those huge zip lock CD binders. Instead of looking for the discs, he just bought the game again on steam.
Also, I only own one bowl, one pan, one spoon and two pairs of chopsticks for my really small studio apartment. After 8 months, I just bought one cup. I was just drinking directly out of the bottle so I never really needed a cup. Originally, I only planned living here one year so I thought why bother buying a whole set. I just wash everything after use. Not sure if lazy or cheap...
EDIT: included lazy dishes story
cheesycow5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My Accord shut off and wouldn't start at a stop sign. I was very depressed at the time and didn't want to deal with it, so I had someone pick me up and I just left my car. Not sure what happened to it.
herb_chambers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once upon a time, the battery in my remote died when I was comfy in bed. Instead of getting some new batteries from the kitchen I instead grabbed a golf club near my bed and used the handle to change the channels.
There are very few priorities that can compete with a comfy bed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
dcwj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My god this whole thread is pure gold.
Whileimswervin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend lived in the basement of her house. The closest bathroom was two floors up. I pee a lot, especially at night. She told me that she often goes into the laundry room to relieve herself in an old Taco Bell plastic soda cup, instead of walking up the stairs. I followed her lead. I am a female.
Whussupwitdat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was nestled in my luxurious sumo bean bag chair playing xbox. Suddenly, the urge to pee hit me. Not wanting to disturb my little nest, I considered my options. I could piss myself and continue playing OR just remove myself from my cozy roost. I legitimately considered pissing on myself for roughly 20 minutes. Finally, I came to the conclusion that in the end, the cleanup would be more work than actually getting up for 2 minutes to go pee.
lotus-kid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a dog groomer and was washing a big dog in the back. Suddenly, I had to pee like a racehorse and the trickling water from the hose wasn't helping. Dry off the dog, put it in a kennel, walk out of the salon and down the hall to the bathroom? Nope. Peed between dogs legs down into the floor drain.
zombieozz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have now been in bed since Saturday, only leaving to go to the toilet and to get biscuits and pizza...
DonFreas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use computer software called Joy2Key to connect my xbox 360 controller to my computer and use it as a mouse because I'm too lazy to change my batteries for my wireless mouse. This is especially useful when I watch netflix in my bed and don't want to have to get up for the "still watching?" popup.
dchurch0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this right here.
tomparker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thi
Nextlvlshit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
natedagr813 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I park on the 3rd level of a parking structure because that is the minimum acceptable level to use the elevator. Not as lazy as some of you, but lazy none the less.
jay-hova ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but this is hands down the laziest thing I've ever seen. A friend comes over and decides to help himself to some pizza. He puts the pizza in the microwave oven, puts the timer to 1:11, and hits start.
I asked him why 1:11, and his response was he was too lazy to press multiple buttons, so he presses 1,1,1.
bronc6969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My junior year in high school, I come home early one Sunday morning drunk, like 02:47 early. Once I passed the alcohol intake inspection from my mother, I stumbled upstairs, took some of my clothes off and passed out on my bed. 16 year old Jim Beam will do that to a teen. About 08:35 right after my mom left for church, the barn swallows started to play the โLets fly into the window over and over gameโ on my bed room windows. I was in the twilight in between drunk and hungover and wasnโt in the mood to listen to this all morning. My bed was a high bed that swung on chains so I was able to reach the window and my shot gun without getting out of bed. I rolled over, opened the window, pushed out the screen letting it fall to the lawn below, grabbed my Remington sportsman 58, chamber a round of 12 gage bird shot and played a quick round of โScatter the noisy damn barn swallow all over the front lawnโ game. The dust/feathers/meat settled the other swallows made a low pass over their little buddy and decided GAME/SET/MATCH goes to the drunk with the shot gun. I laid the gun on the bed by my side, looked at the clock and calculated I had a good 90 more minutes of sleep time before mom got home from church. I would need to put up the gun, go downstairs and retrieve the screen go back up stairs and install the screen, and blame the cat for the feathers/meat all over the front lawn. I fell back asleep. I was awaken to the noise of the door slamming and my mother yelling my name at the top of her lungs. I half woke in a hungover haze, reached down and felt the gun lying next to me. Right as my bedroom door flew open, I quickly realized I had over slept, all the evidence of my sin was still in place and that the cat was in the free and clear of any blame. It took hours to pick up all those feathers and for such a small bird, a swallow is rather meaty. Mom was not happy for a few days after that.
kluchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
'murica
Kor_of_Memory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but a friend of mine. In the military we lived in the dorms. The way the base was set up we had a strip of dorms down a street, a full block of parking lot across the street, and then on the far side of the parking lot was another street with the chow hall on the other side of that second street. I realize that sound very confusing.
Dorm||Parking lot ||Chow Hall
Anyway, one day a group of 5 of us decided to go eat dinner. Well, one of my friends decided it wasn't worth walking, so he jumped in his car and drove to the other side of the parking lot. This was especially stupid, as the parking lot was very full, so he didn't find a spot very easily. He entered the Chow Hall a good 4 minutes after the rest of us did.
OlTartToter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I left my sunroof open for like 2-3 months cause I couldn't be bothered to walk outside and close it. It rained alot. There is mould inside now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One minor lazy thing I do is I bring drinks up to my room and then when I finish them I set them on my dresser and then I'm too lazy to ever remove them so it looks like a recycling center in my room after a couple months
Xandervdw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Woke up one morning for work and had no milk to put in my coffee, went back to bed and called in sick.
ElijahwHORE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a mid sized bookshelf next to my bed, and I was really desperate to turn the lights off. I ended up throwing all 70 book from the bookshelf at the light switch.
ZHaDoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was going todo nothing, but I haven't got around to it yet.
beaujangles727 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I work from home, and do technical support, I will remote in on my laptop while laying in bed until I hear my phone ring, or I get an IM. The bad thing is my desk it 5 feet from my bed.
tylerjarvis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
dyzzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so lazy, I took lessons on a player piano.
Uncle_Larry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lived in a half-way house of sorts with lots of people coming and going at all hours of the day and night. The people who did not have jobs had to do housework. We started to notice that we were running low on dishes during mealtime until we figured out that this kid was stashing dirty dishes in the woods behind the house when it was his turn to clean them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I remembered it was supposed to snow. I was on the couch five feet from a window and three feet from a laptop. I stretched for the laptop to check the weather.
MibZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed out the window of my 25th story apt because I was too lazy to walk the ~10 steps to my bathroom.
I like to think that the various wind paths on the way down blew all of it back into the building. So many people had my piss on their windows.
Natty_Boh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I peed in the bedroom sink when on a retreat. The sink was right there and id have to walk down the hall to find a toilet
rushingkar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Maxmakesthemillion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do that, except to the trashcan 50 meters from my home :P
pompey606 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Taken tips from this thread
pastamanclp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once didn't hand in an assessed piece of uni work because it meant walking across to the other side of campus. I would have had to detour 5 minutes from my normal walk back.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We have two dogs and an electric/invisible fence. One is three years old and has a collar for the fence. The other dog is six months old and doesn't have a collar yet because he isn't old enough.
Under normal circumstances this means that I have to stand outside with the dog whenever his pint sized bladder gets full. So, to avoid such terrible occurrences I have rigged a leash that has a clip on both sides. I attach a dog to each end of the leash. The little dog can not go more than 4 feet from the big dog and the big dog will not leave the yard due to the shock collar.
I may continue with this setup forever to spare me having to teach the new dog about the fence.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I binge-watch tv shows on Netflix. Last saturday, I pulled an all-nighter watching Doctor Who episodes. By the time the sun was up I checked the numbers and I had watched 21 and a half hours of Netflix in 24 hours. I only stopped to go to the bathroom, microwave my food, and regret my entire existence. I plan on repeating this exercise this coming weekend.
slowshot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You ain't lazy until you start shitting your pants because you are too lazy to walk to the bathroom.
gladius001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once paid a friend to fill up my water glass all day while I laid on the couch. Not to bad on its own, but I paid another friend to construct a super straw (a bunch of bendy straws taped together) so I wouldn't have to lift my head. I was really hungover so I barley had to piss all day.
SlateGrey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would keep wri...
MikeMousePT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Waking up -> seeing it is raining -> "Nope, not going to school today" -> proceed to continue sleeping.
throw_away_ak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
living in a cabin up outside of fairbanks I had just cooked a totinos pizza. I was too lazy to go outside to take a piss and I thought that hot metal will evap liquid so I start taking a piss in the oven. HORRID SMELL when my piss started to turn to steam... Clearly was not thinking
Spillomanen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i was once laying in the couch with my ex, watching tv. The remote was out of our reach, but she was closest. I stretched out my arm in the direction of the remote and tensed up my fingers, making a real consentrated facial expression. After a minute or two i think she got fed up with me looking like an idiot and fetched me the remote. I am still convinced that i used the force to make her fetch the remote!
Lilbyte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing...
Ticklez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How isn't the top comment "nothing" ?
ivnslva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm scrolling using the thing where you click the wheel down and slowly move your mouse so it scrolls automatically instead of spinning the mouse wheel.
lennort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I left my credit card at a restaurant near my work. I knew for a fact that's where it was, but instead of swinging by to pick it up I called the cc company and had them cancel the old card and send me a new one.
chico28526 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Coffee table? More like really hard ottoman.
BosBaard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Learnt to navigate windows with the keyboard 'coz I don't want to move my hand to the mouse.
craznazn247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pushed all the furniture in my room together, so that I could just lean or roll over to everything I need. Literally, my bed was right behind my futon, which was in front of my computer desk, with shelves on both sides of me.
Average day - wake up in bed, roll onto my futon and get on computer. If I had to study I could reach over to either shelf for my books. If I had a mini-fridge the only thing I'd have to leave that small area of my room would be to go to the bathroom.
I originally pushed all the furniture to the center to paint the walls, but was too lazy to push it back and decided to try it out. This went on for like 2 months.
Non-Pertinent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pissed in a bottle, because I was to lazy to use the bathroom 30 yards away.
coltpoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Piss in the sink every morning while I brush my teeth. Haha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I often watch movies on my ps3 in my room, but my remote is broken...so when it's over I turn the PS off but the TV is still on (bright blue screen)
So I pretend to sleep and do everything to wake my girlfriend up because she's been sleeping since 25 minutes into the movie
So she wakes up, is annoyed by the light and gets up to turn the TV off...the worst is that the TV is on my side of the bed and I can get to the off button just by stretching a lot...
rebar71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
EnterThe27club ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
stuff.
skolu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to type it.... later...
ACardAttack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use to turn on the TV to see what time it was instead of rolling over and looking at the alarm clock...though now with cell phones I can just reach for the cell phone as easily as the TV remote
GRZMNKY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once ordered a pizza for delivery and called a friend to come over..timed it just right to where they got to my place at the same time and my friend paid for the pizza and let himself in...
TraylorRay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
harkonnenjr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lazy people move the world forward.
Hungry_Freaks_Daddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A couple stories...
My buddy and I were roommates ten years ago, we enabled each other's laziness. We both hated doing dishes. We would use every last dish rather than just clean one to use it. I'm talking using coffee cups to eat cereal, using bowls to drink from etc. Well one time we were completely out once again, and I jokingly told my roommate we should just put all the dishes in the bathtub so they get clean all at once (we obviously didn't have a dishwasher). His eyes lit up and while the hot water was running in the tub we transferred all the dishes from the kitchen into the hot soapy tub.
And there they sat. For months. It was absolutely disgusting after just a few weeks. Oh and we didn't clean it ourselves, we hired two Bosnian girls to clean them for us.
Another time he wanted to build a bar in the house. He got as far as making the frame and then we just used that. No trim, no top, just a bunch of two by fours assembled together. People rested their drinks on 4 inches of wood.
luciferisgreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
y r u poop banans
Hdloser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In Boy scouts I had to deal so much with the New Scouts being crazy that I made a restraint system out of bungee cords rather than tell them to stop over and over again. It was basically a slinky that you could tighten that was 3 feet tall. Went to my first Summer camp years later in which I had no new scouts. We were given small cabins but there wasn't enough room in all of the cabins, but there were tens maybe 20 feet away. Nope I took the retention slinky, added a small bit more to the bottom of it, took a couple survival blankets, took two more bungee cords and made makeshift hammock out of it. TL,DR I made a hammock because i didn't want to walk 20 feet
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have watched movies on Netflix that I already own on DVD because I was too lazy to get out of bed and get the disc.
BtCoolJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Same situation, but I called my mom downstairs asking for a glass of water so she could pass me the remote
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to chew my food so I just let it sit there in my mouth.
GSU_Student ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Screamed bloody murder until my mom came in the room and turned the fan off and handed me the remote. It was an arctic wasteland out there, I wasn't going to risk it, I was to warm under my blanket.
StagnantSoul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lie back in my office chair by my desk, put my feet on the seat and I just use my mouse and if I am too comfortable to move back to type, I open ease of access center followed by onscreen keyboard. Then I type what I need to click by click.
Inkertus_0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went online and downloaded an assignment for class and printed it off to the printer within reach instead of getting up and looking for the hard copy not 6 feet away.
zFraGiLe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was to lazy to wipe my ass so i jumped in the shower to lazy to shampoo but water pressure did its job
klevenisms204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
when living at home, i used to put dishes outside my door on the floor.. just like room service!
Hadrimole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing...
aham8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would make me breakfast throughout high school..I would usually eat in the kitchen, but slowly it progressed to breakfast in bed by my senior year..I could place my "order" before going to bed the night before. Breakfast in bed caused me to promptly fall asleep right after and I usually didn't make it into school until at least 9
Dackzore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to live opposite a Kebab shop, used to get them to deliver, 9 times out of 10, they still used the moped.
vinegarstroke13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
relhotel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have
ucnkissmybarbie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watched the same movie multiple times because I was too lazy to get up and change discs. It was interesting with Pulp Fiction though, I put it on random. Never the same movie twice!
Packattack7399 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I knew I was going to get some from this girl I've been seeing and needed to cut my fingernails for foreplay reasons. I only cut my index and middle finders...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
reddit.
PopeG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When we refurbished the house my dad got carried away and installed a wired network throughout the house: "that way we can have 6 Internet points in each room and a phone! "
For some reason he put a printer in the kitchen.... still not sure why.
As a relatively lazy 16 year old at the time, I spent a lot of time on my PC in my room upstairs. So one day I wanted another cup of tea and really didn't fancy the walk downstairs. Promptly printed off a word document to the kitchen: "Tea please"
There was a moment's pause and then I was told to "sod off" by my dad shouting from the kitchen.
I then had to pursue my tea in a more traditional manner and go and make it myself.
Still, it was worth a try.
Edit: typos
lavalamp388 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my first college room mate and I would get into out beds with the light on and if neither of us wanted to get down to turn it off we would yell "HELP! HEEEELLLPP!!" until someone in the dorm would finally come in to see what was going on and we'd ask them to turn the lights off.. they were always mad.
cbwcjw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Quit smoking because I didn't want to keep going to the gas station.
SmashMetal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I connected my laptop to my TV via HDMI to watch a movie. So I was in bed and I had the laptop on my lap to select the movie and everything, but couldn't be bothered to put the laptop on the floor or my desk or anything, so I ended up just watching the movie on my laptop with it playing on my TV in the background.
newk8600 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drunk on my balcony at 2 a.m. Peed off the balcony into the bushes. Just being lazy.
Justiin9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last winter I layed in bed all the time when I weren't at school, like a bear.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of run 100 meters to the bus stop i waited 1 hour in -10 degrees celcius today.
blargoflarg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
Mutelol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live two houses next to a pizza delivery place. I was too lazy to pick it up, so I had it delivered. The pizza man said it was really surprised when I answered the door.
shoop45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to read this thread, anyone got a tl;dr for all of this stuff?
littleting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still doing it. I've sat on my arse for 10 years. It's so good. But I need to stop soon. Conscience.
Mutasyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a pizza joint as the night supervisor. In my efforts to be a lazy ass I'd roll around the place on a wheeled-chair instead of getting up and walking.
Hollowsong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back when having a cellphone was a new thing, one of the first times I used it was to call the house phone (it's near the kitchen) from my bedroom on a Saturday morning at about 8am.
My mom, who was sleeping across the hall from my room upstairs, woke up... went downstairs to answer the phone...and I promptly gave her my order for breakfast.
Best eggs and toast I ever had.
Cooptwentysix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not the best, but I was sitting in a movie theater waiting for the movie to start and it was crazy cold in there. I could even hear others talking about it. Pulled out my phone and called the theater and asked them if they could turn the temp up on our theater. They had a pretty good wtf moment.
knl1990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mine would be peeing in a bottle when I was much younger and toilet was too far away
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this as an adult.
I was camping a few weeks ago (mandatory for a field class), it was -1C outside and I was in my tent trying to keep warm. I wasn't about to go outside and subject myself to the wind, I just pissed in a water bottle. Unfortunately, it was a good steel bottle, so I wasn't going to throw it away. A few weeks later I found it in my gear unpacking. It was very unpleasant to clean.
starlinguk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: depression everywhere.
wish_i_was_brad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do a lot of lazy things but one interesting one comes to mind . On a couple occasions, I have driven to school with my head out the window because I was too lazy to scrape the frost off my windshield
Mysteez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit
tigz123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Writing this rather than telling my story about being lazy.
Blindul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friends and I were so lazy, we watched the lord of the rings trilogy, extended edition in one sitting. Whole day of just laying on the couch, didn't even bother going to the bathroom.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I do this twice a year, not lazy. Wonderful.
Zenatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on the couch, you know when your body has become 1 with couch and any movement would ruin the absolute state of comfort! Some show had just come on and the remote was located on the armrest of the couch at my feet. The only solution:
Text my wife to come downstairs because I needed some help. Asked her to hand me the remote. Needless to say, she did not hand me the remote and I slept that night on the couch.
kenetha65 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
NOTHING!
Jaykayelemenohh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a college that had multiple bus stops on their campus. I would take the bus from the south food court to the parking structure to the parking garage before driving home. FYI, it was about 150 yards. I would race my friends to get there at times, they would walk and I would take the bus....they won every time.
Tl;dr: so lazy to walk to my car, took a bus 150 yards to get there.
TheMathis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not pull out
Lucky1289 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Throw my tied bag of garbage outside so that it sits next to my apartment door for a few days instead of walking it to the dumpster.
But in my defense my door leads to outside (not an indoor hallway) and the dumpster area is sketchy as fuck at night and I'm never home during winter daylight hours except on Saturday and Sunday.
Gogohax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
YesThisIsHuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went through the trouble of configuring my phone as a universal remote rather than get up and walk 3 feet to my left to get the remote.
mars20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was hungry but did not eat anything because i was too lazy to move myself into the kitchen and take me some leftovers.
philipmybeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I always take the elevator from the second floor of my college dorm where my room is, to the first. It's also slightly closer to the stairwell than the elevator.
rocconyew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Install Reddit Enhancement Suite.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Heard a band I hadn't listened to in a while on last.fm, knew I had some albums of them somewhere on my computer. Looked in music folder, root of storage drives, then torrented their discography. Took less time to download than I spent checking a few folders, should have started with torrenting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Mine goes from my bed, to the extra bed, to the floor in front of my bed, to the corner.
thegreatdune ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lived alone in the country and it was winter. My bathroom was on the other side of the house. I had to pee and I didn't feel like making the trek. Opened the window and slid up the screen, hung it out and let it go.
Molecular_Blackout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lassoed a 6 pack of mountain Dew with a guitar cable because I didn't want to get out of bed.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably time to buy an Indiana Jones whip
Molecular_Blackout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd have to get out of bed to get it though.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sleep with whip in bed. Problem solved.
motonen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't set my wall clock to match daylight saving time. And in few days I started to somehow automatically decode that actual time was one hour more/less.. So that way I checked the time; until half year later my clock was actually correct again and I had to unlearn this awkward habit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spend 10 days in a retreat doing nothing. No talking, no sex, no reading, no texting, no thinking (very hard, but doable), no meat, no phone, no tv, no nothing. And I sleep as much as I want.
I did this 5 fives in the past 10 years.
Clever_User_Name_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Layin on a couch, watching TV. Got in the mood for a cup of tea, messaged mother to turn on electric kettle when she got home an hr later. She came home, turned it on, made the tea, told me it's made and to get it in the kitchen, I'm in the basement. I think the tea is still there, cold, undrank. It's been a month.
Betzkin91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once watched the entirety of The Lincoln Lawyer because I didn't know where the remote was.
sometimesijustdont ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't go to work today, because it's raining.
fordo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I have to microwave something and it tells me to put it in for 2:30, i just press 2:22. Less buttons.
lapoleon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:10 on December 10, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
good grief
Fett2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked my sister for a glass of water, she said "That's the laziest thing I've ever heard of, if you can tell me one thing more lazy than that I'll give you a dollar". Me: "Just slip the dollar in my pocket".
Krunchberrie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I downloaded the xbox app (that let's you use your phone as a controller for the dashboard) to my iPhone because the controller was 4 ft in-front of me and I couldn't reach it.
missmissieann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just had my boyfriend tie my shoes and roll the bottom cuffs of my pants up this morning. Because I didn't want to bend down and do it.
gbtwo88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In the morning, I pee in my sink because I'm too lazy to walk the extra 3 feet to the toilet.
PrinceCheddar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to try and remember something from my past and post it here, but fuck it.
ddg19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought an extra power strip for my dorm room so that I could plug my lamp into the same power strip as my phone, but now I use the power button on the extra strip to turn off my lights from the comfort of my own bed. Feels good man
faleboat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I attached strings to my remote controls so I could throw it on the couch and retrieve it easily. Why not set it on the table? you ask. Ha! the table is covered in other shit I am too lazy to deal with.
EveryoneElseIsWrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i have a full length mirror that i just propped up against my wall because i can't be bothered to learn how to actually hang it up
EveryoneElseIsWrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i slept on a bare mattress for over a month because i couldn't be bothered to go out and buy sheets
Parable4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Remote was across the room and my phone was next to me. I downloaded a tv remote app to not get up
sirspock411537 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have tooth brushes and toothpaste in random places throughout my bathroom so I don't need to get up and go to the sink. I've even got water bottles with them for rinsing purposes.
sydneysomething ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once woke up 5 minutes before class, decided to skip because I wouldn't make it in time. Lived on campus.
MY_HARD_BOILED_EGGS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just last night I really wanted to watch The Royal Tenenbaums, but the DVD is on a shelf in my closet which is about twelve feet from my laptop and I wanted none of that so I just downloaded the movie. Probably took more time for the movie to download than it would've taken for me to get up and get the DVD, but a lot less effort, so...
Bamf4585 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is a more recent action that I did, using my tablet to remote host on to my computer even though my desktop isn't more than 3 ft behind me.
RUNWAYSIX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had my mom (who lives an hour away) order a pizza and have it delivered to my house while I watched a day long marathon of The Lottery Change My Life.
swish_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nuthn
tekgnosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've had a crook shoulder for years because I was warm and cocooned in my bed facing one direction and my phone was behind me and ringing. I tried to reach behind me but couldn't quite until I swung my arm back as hard as I could and heard a loud crack and felt a sharp pain.
Valendr0s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
This was my desk at my old job.
I would RDP into the left computer and the right computers instead of just moving my hands and rotating my torso.
A KVM (keyboard, video, mouse) lets you switch between computers, usually used for servers so you can have 1 keyboard/mouse/monitor physically in the server room and yet connect to all the servers that usually don't require physical presence... I thought I might benefit from that, so I hooked a KVM into my keyboard, monitor and mouse, and hooked it into those other computers (usually 2-3 on my desk at a time)...
I still didn't use it. It required me to hit 'ctrl, shift, alt, 2'... RDP (or VNC) could be accomplished with a single doubleclick if a single icon on my desktop.
I was lazy... Also at that job I would never get up my desk when I could fix something from my seat. I'd remotely modify registry keys, change files, stop/start services, kill processes, reboot computers. All while trying to keep phone conversations as short as possible. If I could do something from my desk, I did it. If I couldn't, I'd send someone else to go grab me the machine...
My boss told me that made me efficient. Whatever. I don't care. I don't do it for efficiency. I do it because I'm supremely lazy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but in undergrad I hated coming home drunk then having to get up and pee in the middle of the night (or worse, hungover the morning after). I built a urinal in my dorm room out of cardboard (lined with a garbage bag) that drained into a 3L soda bottle. It worked flawlessly for a couple weeks until some girl "accidentally" knocked it over. Oh LAWD the smell... I tried to sprinkle it with something to absorb it a la janitors using sawdust in elementary school, but all I had was powdered coffee creamer. It turned into this puddle of hazelnut/pee scented goo. I tried vacuuming that up which worked about as well as expected. Overall: 4/10, might build again.
mastermikey98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Senior year, I had to fill out a rather difficult analysis guide for Heart of Darkness. My friend had the same teacher the previous year, so naturally I gave him a ring and he gave me the answers. I had the answers in my possession a week before it was due, yet i still didn't do it. I was too lazy to copy answers...
kkup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Music was playing while I was lying on my bed plugged into my speakers across the room. A song came on that I didn't want to hear, so I paided $3 or so for some random app that lets me change the song remotely.
bluntninja13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well....since I'm sitting here on reddit, and not at work because I called in sick for some reason...im gonna have to say this.
sydneysomething ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Washed sheets one day, couldn't be bothered making my bed so I slept in my sleeping bag for 2 months.
thissistheN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
robbierebound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This should ask "what's the laziest thing you haven't done" because having done something is the opposite of lazy
SoonerE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well If my face itches instead of pulling my arm from my pockets or from under my sheets I'll scratch with my shoulder...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
paid someone to do my laundry
BGBitencourt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college I wanted to go to the restroom while laying in my bed. Let me set this up, you walked into our suite and there were 3 rooms, one to the left of the hall, one straight ahead, and another on the right. There are bathrooms in each end of the suite adjacent to the rooms, one w a toilet the other w a shower... These 2 bathrooms are for the 3 rooms in the suite... So back to my story... I didn't want to stand up if watching a movie... I ran a clear flex hose from my bed, out the door, down the hall, in the bathroom, in to the toilet...
I thought it could just gravity feed to it... But I was a retard and was more worried about cosmetics and the way the line ran so no one would trip over it and like had it going down, then up... Etc... You can only imagine what happened...
Now I think if it and think I should of hooked up a small pump to it and it's of worked. Funny how being lazy required a shit ton of work.
TLDR: tried building a pisser from bedroom to bathroom. Made a huge mess in hallway.
FanaticalBeliever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sat inside this wet mushy comfy bed thing for 9 months, got free food and stuff until that damn guy pulled me out. Was so awful I cried.
Rocky87109 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Throw away dishes instead of cleaning them.
sydneysomething ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Some guy at a party really pissed me off once but I couldn't be bothered getting up to hit him so I just threw the saucy nugget I was holding at him.
eddie_37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My ex...
michaelzelen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if this counts, but I bought a can simply for the fact that
A) I can only drive one person around and
B) I can sleep in my van after lunch
marky75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
duk3nukem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dishes were dirty and I didn't feel like washing them. Tossed the dishes out.
nomim814 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
b4ldur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
lost 2 1/2 kg in 2 days bc i was to lazy to get something to eat.
thurst307 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Buddy of mine had to use my computer from the other side of the desk we were using. He decided to use remote control instead of walking around the desk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used voice recognition to type this comment.
yoberf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ordered flip flops on Zappos.com because all my socks were dirty. Didn't leave the house until they arrived.
czechmeight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm on my phone (which is slightly too big to reach all parts of the screen with one hand) and I'm relaxing my other arm and have to press something I can't reach with my thumb, I will always try and use my nose to press it. 30% success rate.
Apkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Candy crush...........
dancegrenade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is ridiculous.
omelette_penis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a beanbag chair, and put it in my Kitchen, so I could manoeuvre it in front of my open fridge, and make/eat food. Its the most relaxing way to get at the cold cuts.
Irralfar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ate yesterdays pizza from a garbage bag instead of cooking a meal
sydneysomething ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A few of my keys came off my keyboard, couldn't be bothered fixing so I just bought a new keyboard.
prezdizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
lod001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After riding my bike for recreation 30 miles around the entire Grand Rounds Trail in Minneapolis, I drove my car less than a block to the Dinkytown McDonalds to get a post ride meal.
TheDisastrousGamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this
Leigh_Cheri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lived about a five minute walk away from my favorite Mexican restaurant. Luckily they delivered, but they had a $15 minimum to do so. Most items on their menu ranged from $2-$4. I would order around 6 meals just so I wouldn't have to go to the restaurant myself....
menstreusel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This was in my college days, I lived in a dormitory and didn't want to get up off of my bed to open my door for guests/comfort. I flipped my bicycle upside down so the handles and the seat were on the floor and the wheels were up in the air. I used duct tape to secure some cord or rope to the door knob and tied the other end to the foot pedal on my bike, then I had another rope going up to the light fixture so I could give the rope a good tug and the doorknob would turn and the door would swing open. It was one of my prouder moments.
BaneWraith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Still haven't unpacked my bag from a trip I went on during the summer
Dman5156 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not specifically me but still funny/weird. my gf has real lazy tendencies, especially when it comes to us doing the sexs. part of the way through foreplay one day she kinda flopped over and said "im too lazy, i want to do this but i dont want to do the effort. can we just lay here and masturbate together?"
Juliuscesear1990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a 7 foot long stick I used to turn my original Xbox on from the couch, until my sister made fun of me.
SkitScout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought one of those Nest thermostats so when I wake up and its too cold to get out of bed I can turn the heat on through the app on my phone...... . . . . . I Live in Florida....
RED_DRAGON_7050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
Gintox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i did more nothing than you
Robert_Gryphon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I threw away a bunch of my dishes because I didn't want to wash them.
Raptor-yeeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This did not happen to me. It happened to my cousin. Let me note that the part of his brain that tells him to care doesn't work. He was sick one day when he lived with our grandma and he was 13 and I was 12. He had diarrhea and didnt want to go to the bathroom. He was too lazy. So he layed in his bed and shit in his pants for a good hour. Finally got up to go to the bathroom because he stunk himself out. Put his underwear in a baby wipe box after using all the baby wipes then put it out in the kitchen and went to bed. I woke up an threw up. Literally.
baltihorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not bothering to get into the correct position to be born. The doctor literally had to turn my sideways infant body 90 degrees while I was still in the womb.
-Solution- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Where I work, our desks are separated by walls. There is a solid wall that is about three feet tall and then above that it's glass. The entire wall is about ten feet tall and they stick out about twenty feet from the back wall. If you want to talk to the person next to you, you have to raise your voice, but not to the point you would be considered shouting. My manager sits in the space next to me and I will call her on the phone when I need to talk to her instead of raising my voice a tiny bit. Also, I have been known to hold paperwork up to the window if she needs to look at it instead of getting up and walking twenty feet to her desk.
0nebl00b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was up in my room doing my homework, when my sister calls me downstairs in need of something important. I asked what it was when I got there only to see her cuddled up in a blanket in what looked like the most comfortable position ever on the couch. She then asks me, can you pass the remote and turn off the light please? The remote was on the table about 2 feet away from her.
inrego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Purchased LED bulbs that I can control over wifi - configured phone to send lights-on signal when the alarm goes off in the morning. Now I can just roll from my bed over in my chair without having to turn the lights on.
amgwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a freshman in college I was running out of clean socks and rather than do laundry, I perfectly timed an order of socks from Amazon. Gotta love Amazon prime
Hebherb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my room. Hands get dirty. Too lazy to go to the bathroom. I take my cup of water and pour it on my hands. "Meh the carpet will soak it up..."
Edit: spelling
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a little kid I was eating scrambled eggs in my room. I was full and instead of taking the dish downsteps to clean the extra off, I threw them into the storage crawlspace in my room. No wonder we have mice...
jat0369 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sleep with my laptop in bed with me so that I can take support calls without getting out of bed.
It's not the most lazy thing I've read on here, but it's my laziness. :)
canon1200 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: geniuses.
AQuinta3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once called time from the landline instead of turning around to look at the clock!
ArathornII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I woke up to my nose gushing blood. I decided to fall back asleep and clean it when I wake up. I leave a lot of problems to future me.
xopher314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I buy paper plates and plastic cups so I don't have to do dishes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll just tell you what my brother proudly told me yesterday..."The other day I was so lazy I lied in bed until like 5 pm, then got up and sat around. At 9 I ordered a large Papa John's pizza and ate 7 slices by myself."
Dingbat25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
We have a wireless keyboard and mouse for our tv. While I was unemployed, the keyboard was at the other end of the couch. I found the letters I wanted in the page that was opened as copied and pasted them until google suggested Netflix. Lazy badge achieved
BizarroCullen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted to do nothing, and I was too lazy to do that
NoodlyApostle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shitton of ramen + Runescape.
Crampion11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lived in a college apartment above a sandwhich shop a couple of years ago. One time I ordered food from there when I was hungover as shit. Told the delivery guy I'd give him an extra five bucks if he walked my food up to my apt just to I didn't have to leave the couch.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I rarely ever watch videos I come across on Reddit because I can't be bothered to open up iTunes and pause my music
sydeu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The most recent would be when we got the three questions to a test two weeks in advance and I didn't bother preparing anything and just went there and improvised.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have like 80 retail CD's of various games and I'm too lazy to use the disks. I pirate them all the time so I don't have to get up and get the disks.
Skrickadilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to tie a rake to my dogs tail and let it run outside. Didn't even get close to working. Still never raked my yard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my dorm room our tv didn't have a remote. My roommate and I were both hungover and didn't want to watch what was on. The tv was out of reach from both of our beds so we yelled for the guy who loves across the hall and when he came over to see what we needed all we asked him was to change the channel. He looked at us disgustingly and said "you are lazy assholes". Long story short, he changed the channel for us.
ImAjustin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
way to late but whatever, had light switches installed next to my bed. It was simply amazing.
chewsnacka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didnt order take out cause i couldnt reach the phone
DannyPinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've swept broken glass under the carpet.
bhillen83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to throw things at the light switch to get it to turn off when I was comfy in bed. Usually a t shirt will do the trick if you hit it right.
chazwhiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my life I've quit/been fired from 2 different jobs because I didn't want to get out of bed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called my dad to his cell phone from my room so that he could bring me a glass of water! Seriously!
samwisegamjee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
GeminiOfSin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
While waiting for the shower water to warm up in my suite last year, I would lean over the sink counter and sleep for an extra 30 minutes(yes some times it took this long). There were times where I missed my class....
rockycoast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
After reading all of this stuff I am not sure if it is laziness...or pure brilliance.
Freddilon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My computer has been somewhat dysfunctional for about 2 years now because im to lazy to format and reinstall windows. When im starting it up i have to restart several times until the least annoying error message pops up. And i have to press enter every 20 minutes or so to close the message about my windows trial version has run out.
CPTNBob46 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Backspaced 4 sentences because of a single-typo because I didn't want to lift my hand off the keyboard to my mouse.
deftoneslover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed In the sink because I couldn't be assed to walked upstairs
4orced4door ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used the Nest app on my phone to adjust the a/c thermostat three feet from where I was sitting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I qualify for the Illinois veterans grant which covers my tuition per semester. My fist semester of college I fill out the paperwork, put it in an envelope, and never mailed it, I had to pay with student loans.
JustaLittleDuckie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
9 months pregnant and ate a bowl of noodles upstairs. I was too lazy to take the bowl to the kitchen so I decided to dump the remaining soup in the bathroom sink. The sink got clogged and my husband had to call a plumber the next day.
noc007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I changed out a light switch from a toggle to a rocker in my room when I was a teenager just so I could use a Nerf gun from a distance. When I eventually buy a house, I'll be changing all the switches to work with a home automation system.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last night, I called my wife from the living room and asked her to bring me some water (from the adjacent kitchen).
Googoie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of going downstairs to my computer to check a text document, I logged into my computer from my phone and moved the file to my Google Drive, then read it from my phone.
8rainbowcaterpillar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live in an apartment, when the four kids where being really loud in the apartment adjacent to my bedroom at about four in the morning I was not having any of that. My phone was too far away to call the resource officer and there was no way I was getting out of bed so I punched the wall as hard as I could, it made them shutup and I got to sleep.
mguibs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to say something to someone but i was so lazy to start a conversation that i didnt bother and just slept at my desk
reddituzername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
School.
LadySkullduggery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not my own, but my brother-in-law once bought a whole new set of dishes instead of washing the dirty ones, then threw the dirty ones away. Not sure if that was really lazy though, the whole process took longer than just washing them.
TheLegend5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last Friday my boss said I could leave work an hour early. My fiancรฉe and I were having pizza for dinner and I was to pick it up on the way home. If I was to leave early it would have been to early to pick it up and I would have had to gone back out to get the pizza. So I just stayed at work my normal time so I didn't have to leave my house again.
BaddyGonzales ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
TheMemoman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like to read in bed until I fall asleep. I keep a walking stick near my bed to turn off the light.
legomalego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What i learned in this thread. I thought I was a Proust scholar, Docterate, PhD whatever in Laziness. I have a GED
Mad_Mapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL so many new ways to make my life even lazier
AfroCircuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once, I was watching netflix on my projector which was hooked up to my desktop and netflix did that stupid "are you still there" thing so instead of getting up and moving ten feet to click continue, I pulled out my phone and opened up my Remote Desktop app, realized I didn't have my desktops user ID stores any more, then proceeded to remote into my laptop which did have the ID in it then used my laptop to connect to my desktop then clicked continue. It may have taken 5 minutes for something that should have taken 30 seconds, but damnit I was really comfy on the couch.
Tl;dr: remote desktoped from my phone, to my laptop, toy desktop to hit continue on netflix remoteceptiom
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used the remote to change the volume
Fender6969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was once too lazy to take a shit. Waited until the next morning.
FueledUp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
and I thought I was lazy
Mad_Mapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I strung 3 shoe laces together and tied them to my ceiling fan so I never have to get up to turn on the fan or adjust the setting.
golden_kumaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Sgele ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I quit my job once, because I was too lazy to get out of bed.
note: I was drunk at the time.
buttermagazine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In order to pass my driver's ed class, we needed to turn in 12 car related news articles by the end of the course. I went through the entire course but never turned in the articles. The teacher said that we could bring them in after the course had ended and still get our certificate, but I ended up just waiting until i was 18 and didn't need one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sit to pee.
iseeyouareen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my living room in college we had our tv on a tv stand w/ wheels. We would roll it all the way up to the couch so that when changing the channel, we would just need to use our toes.
babyface_killah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been eating a lot of raw pasta lately because I am too lazy to cook it. It still has the same calories right?
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Still delicious
McSlice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but I lived on the top floor of a 3-story house when I was in college. The bathroom was on the second floor, so instead of walking downstairs I would simply open up the bedroom window and pee down on to the back yard.
When it would snow, I would try to write my name in cursive. Almost had it once but ran out of pee.
Smozius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Remoted into a computer 1ft away.
cozy_lolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pee in the sink in my dorm room, because it's right there, and the bathroom isn't.
koolaidman89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman year of college I liked to watch TV from my top bunk bed while eating snack foods. Eating crunchy foods while lying down tends to leave crumbs on your chest. Fortunately my sisters had given me a car cleaning kit for my birthday that included a small vacuum cleaner. I kept it in a makeshift holster on the wall by my bed and vacuumed crumbs off my chest while eating and watching tv.
TL;DR I vacuumed crumbs of my chest
OFJehuty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to live with a friend of mine in an apartment. Two dudes living an apartment rarely get around to the dishes. When it came moving day and we were moving to a new apartment, it just so happened we had a sink overflowing with dishes. Pots, pans, plates, bowls, silverware - you name it.
We just threw them all into a garbage bag and threw it away. Bought new ones at the new apartment.
cosnanook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Today I was too lazy to get up five minutes earlier to make a sammich for lunch, so I just brought everything I needed to make the sammich to work with me. Jar of mayo, check. Back of tuna, check, Ciabatta, check. Annnd a tub of macaroni salad.
Don't judge me.
account268 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
grew a beard because im too lazy to shave
time_again ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my early-mid twenties, I drank a lot and had a bunk bed. I didn't share the bunk bed, I just thought it was fun to have one.
Anyway, I really liked the top bunk, but hated getting up and climbing down it to pee in the middle of the night (because I drank too much). So I kept a Nalgene bottle on a shelf by the top bunk, and when I woke up I'd just unscrew the lid and pee in it. Sometimes I'd also keep a Nalgene bottle full of water up there to drink (no, this story isn't going there).
So I wake up in the middle of the night, drunk, and have to pee. I fumble around for the bottle, grab it and its upside down, unscrew the lid, and its the water bottle and I just dumped a quart of water all over the bed. Now the bed is cold and sopping wet, and I think to my self, completely earnest, "I wish I had just peed in the bed, that way it would be warm."
I don't drink alcohol anymore.
TL;DR, I wish I peed in my bed.
TheJokerSmilingAtYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
...
aibrah1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laziness is clearly an evolutionary trait. The lazier you are, the more efficient in conserving energy you will be. You call me lazy, I call myself more evolved! Here is my example: the light switch is just out of reach of my bed. But who wants to get up to turn off the light? Not me! So I take my pillow and swat at the light switch until it turns off. Another great attribute to being an effective lazy person, be the oldest sibling. I will call my younger siblings to bring me the remote, bring me food, etc. When they were much younger it worked wonderfully, but now that they're 18 and 16 it's a hit or miss. So now I will call them, fake a conversation for a minute or two, and then nonchalantly ask them to grab me the remote. Works wonderfully :)
Nberdy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
loooocas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a skateboard so I don't have to walk down the hall from my office to the lab I work in. It's like 100 ft.
eltaylor5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My brother and I used to call the house phone whenever we were playing video games in the basement.. in hopes our mom would answer and bring us food. Mario Kart just gets so intense sometimes.
texasusa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
watch my g/f clean my house, run errands for me, pull me a beer while we are watching a movie, next step is to train her on running a lawn mower.
nate7181 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Forget to eat everytime my wife is outta town, end up getting sick everytime.
datguynamedjoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to get up and close my bedroom door after my brother decided to come in my room and not close my door after leaving, I started throwing all my clothes around me at the door until it was close enough to being fully closed.
andrethecat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tied a rope around a tree that is long enough for me to rock my self on my hammock. I just hold the rope and pull it when I want to rock.
Diabeetus_Boy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've been wearing the same two outfits for nearly a week because I'm too lazy to go out to my car and get my clothes.
princeton_cuppa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
feelings of brotherhood in this thread
copekiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
Rivwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've lived in my current apartment for almost a year now, and about a week or so ago I finally finished unpacking my clothes. Up until this point they were still stuffed in garbage bags from when I moved, and I just made it work with the ones I had unpacked already.
I still have boxes of things that I packed when I moved out of my Mom's house... almost 10 years ago. Those things will never be unpacked.
TheColorTriangle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
While in highschool I discovered that if I simply didn't clean my room for roughly two weeks, my dad would simply do it for me. No regrets.
4THOT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I started a project a month after it was due. Still got 100%
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i once was too lazy to give a fuck, so i gave a shit instead
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I woke up early when my brother (we share a room) was leaving, and my door was left open. I threw a series of rocks at my door until it closed, chipping all the paint
GravityFallen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes my friend doesn't text me because he "didn't feel like lifting his fingers".
marko257 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
While reading this, I just tried to blow a hair off of my glasses accidentally spraying spit on them. I've read the last 5 comments and typed this through spit.
So basically, instead of making my vision better, I made it much worse...
PUTTY1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was lying in bed playing video games and I had to pee. But instead of walking over to the bathroom I pissed through the window right above my bed. I really didn't want to get up
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laziest thing I see people do is pushing the handicap button to open a door. YOU ARE NOT HANDICAP, OPEN THE FREAKING DOOR WITH YOUR HANDS. Aggravates the shit out of me every time I see someone do it.
splittingwedge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I enter "90" on the microwave instead of "130". Otherwise I tend to make a lot of unnecessary work for myself.
Uncle_Creepy123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am too lazy to write it here.
dark_moose09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't want to call for pizza so had my brother, who had conveniently just come home after having a cross-country pizza party, order the pizza for me and pay for it at the door
pantsparty1322 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Working at an answering service call center when I was a teenager, I once spent a good 15 minutes talking a caller into calling back during business hours because I didn't feel like typing a message that would have taken less than a minute
NinjaChemist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a car instead of replacing my taillights.
fistahobo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my dad. He slept in his car in the Walmart parking lot because he was too lazy to drive the 2minute drive home
ToiletPhoneHome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Clean laundry piled on the bed waiting to be folded - and by folded I mean piled back in the laundry basket - bed time, but too lazy to move the clothes, so end up sleeping on the pile of laundry like Smaug on his pile of treasure.
Another; blanket in the dryer all nice and warm and soft, but too lazy to walk downstairs, so use a towel as a blanket instead.
MrFerkles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Super late to this thread, but this is so my thread:
-Keys in my back pocket; rang the doorbell
-Traffic lights turned red, so I got off my bike and crossed as a pedestrian.
-Woke up late for a lecture. So I didn't go.
-Am in a lecture. On Reddit.
equalxchange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
piss in a bottle because i do not want to get the fuck out of bed.
Sleep45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I moved my computer so close to my bed that I didnt have to stand up to get into my computer chair from bed.
dolphinblood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pissed in a dixie cup next to my bed because I didn't want to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I didn't even have the excuse of being hungover, I just didn't want to get the fuck up.
ALARE1KS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a lad I let the dvd main menu loop continuously for roughly 9 (4 of which I was awake) hours after falling asleep on the couch because the remote was about 2 feet out of reach and the TV/DVD player had no auto-off feature.
GodoftheGeeks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure I am way too late for this thread but oh well. A couple of years ago, I got tired of getting out of bed to get on my computer to check email/facebook/twitter, ect in the morning so I bought a Mac Book Pro and have slept with it every night in bed ever since.
Pfunk4Life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ordered a dresser online from walmart for this school year. It arrived in September, and has been sitting unassembled in its box on the floor since. I just organize my clothes in piles on the floor in my room.
OsimusFlux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a jug to pee in when I broke my ankle because it was difficult to get up and go to the bathroom. Continued to use it well after my ankle healed and had my brother or sister empty it. Was 19.
jeannaimard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Rode an extra 500 km in Europe on a rail pass to avoid transferring 3 timesโฆ
Ranger_Rose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a college roommate who fastened a tray onto an RC car for passing around things (remotes, beers, bongs...mostly bongs)
Orval ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up in my parents house, my room was in the basement for a few years.
Only problem was that the only light switch was at the top of the stairs.
I rigged up a pulley system using those little hook screws and some string so that I could turn the light on or off (two different strings/sets of hooks) from near my bed.
Diguiseppimon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have trained myself over the years to have flexible toes, because I am far too lazy to move or bend over to pick shit up.
noknownallergies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
my friend had a poking stick to change the stations on the radio in his car.
TheFattyGoatSteak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Toasted two slices of bread and slap them really quickly together around a slice of cheese to make grilled cheese. No it doesn't work very well but I am lazy
MeanMrMustardSeed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too lazy to post about it.
groverwood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes will text my kid(s) to come to the living room and hand me the T.V. remote which is about 8 inches out of reach.
seriously
mismetti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Dismissed girls I met online because they lived too far away
123whoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i don't feel like typing it all out
LazySumo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Played WoW at release and fell in love with warlocks. However, the warlock's (then) combat process was simply checking and reapplying a series of debuffs on enemies. Boring.
Naturally instead of simply continuing to press 5-6 different keyboard buttons I spent three months writing over 4,000 lines of code in LUA (which I had to teach myself) to automate this, thus reducing the whole damn thing to a single button press. "LazySumo's Lock Box" was hugely popular.
brittlecat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Comment on this th
speedracer135 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever it's cold at home and my truck has frost on the windows I command start it like 20 minutes before I need to leave and if that doesn't cut it I hit the washer fluid 15 times to remove the frost so I can see. When I'm out of fluid I just drive with frosty windows cause scraping is too much work.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If it's truly the laziest, then you didn't do it.
TomH_squared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
For me the laziness is tempting. My dishwasher broke a week ago (apartment maintenance still waiting on a motor from GE), and as the piles in my sink get bigger I've been thinking about just buying new dishes, silverware, etc. Right now it's at the point where I'm only washing what I need when I need it, and if I can somehow muster enough will to wash enough stuff to fill the drying rack, I won't dry any of it by hand. Evaporation, bitches
nguyenqh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my roommate regularly pees out the window which is directly above the entrance to our dorm. The bathroom is right across the hall from us.
Dcornelissen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the most helpfull threads in a while!
TomH_squared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Also, a second one (but not the laziest thing ever): I installed Reddit Enhancement Suite so I wouldn't have to keep clicking "next page"
not_my_normal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday I got a call saying that the place I applied to work at for a pretty cool job wanted me back for a final interview.
I had to argue with myself because my default response was to ignore the call from them, even though this would be the first good thing I did to change my life since I graduated.
In the end, I did organize the interview, but I hate myself for having that gut reaction.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ate strawberries with the leaves on them because I was to lazy to take them off...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
"I gotta pee... but that means I have to walk... guess I'm holding it for a while."
Lip_Recon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but I once woke up from a good 12 hour sleep, and badly needed to take a leak. But I also wanted to continue sleeping and not ruining it by going to the bathroom. So instead I removed my underwear to take some pressure off my bladder. Went back to sleep naked.
DogmaJones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When my wife's cats vomit on the floor, I do not clean it up. What I do instead is summon our blind roomba-like dog to take care of it. He gets to snack on something he loves while I don't have to clean up the cat vomit.
unjustfinish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was around 13 I had just gotten the Wii before xmas. I also got suspended from school the week prior. A huge snowstorm comes in and my parents trade me the Wii if I shovel the driveway. Instead of shoveling it I called a snowplow and didn't suffer through the cold. My parents weren't even mad, more astonished than anything.
morrisonicole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother once called my brother to drive to the senior complex where her sister lived, to make sure she was okay since she had not answered her phone all day. He ordered a pizza and had it delivered to her address, because he was a) lazy and b) to afraid of finding a dead body. He's a nursing student. She wasn't dead, but definitely confused by the mystery pizza.
Sven4president ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
raifhun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Steal reddit posts for my facebook statuses, maximum lazy http://imgur.com/RqH5Stm
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And you didn't credit, ouch!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't want to get out of bed to turn my ceiling fan off/on, so I tied one end of a long string to the beaded string and the other end to my bedpost. I'd lay in bed and simply grab the string to turn it off/on. I tripped over it countless times at night.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I moved in September 2012. I moved again in July 2013. I never unpacked from the September 2012 move.
Naranjas1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I press 9-9 on the microwave when I need to heat something up for 90 seconds. I'm too lazy to move my finger from the 9 to the 0. I do this all the time.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is very common apparently
jeeb00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if this is laziness or OCD, but whenever I'm at a urinal, I flush before I'm finished, trying to time it just right so I can walk away with a perfectly-timed flush, reducing the seconds I have to spend standing in front of a urinal.
If that doesn't count, when I was a kid I used to try changing channels with a broom while lying on the couch if the remote was out of reach.
allpeteredout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
what's the laziest thing I didn't do ;)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Can I be your Beren Luithien?
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I believe Luthien searches for her Beren, not Luithien :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I know ;) thought it was a mistake on your part buuuuuuuut that's a no then?
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmmmn. I will need more time to consider
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be waiting here to start our magical journey to Angband!
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I might be too lazy though :/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I'm sure it can wait :)
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well as long as you're patient!
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not a mistake, just my own version!
bryanhimmel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I locked my keys in my car three hours ago, and I'm still on reddit
enriquefelix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One day I was so hungover that I was throwing up every hour or so. I got tired of walking to the bathroom to throw up that I just fell asleep on the floor next to the toilet to wake up, throw up, and go back to sleep.
succulent_headcrab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've used the character map in windows to do Google searches with the mouse while lying on the couch because the keyboard was on the coffee table 6 inches out of reach.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this thread makes me feel really tired for some reason...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've put a straw in a can of beer before because I didn't want to have to tilt the can.
Stockz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So this happened to me, but I wasn't the lazy one. About ten years ago, my brother was in his room sitting on the edge of his bed. His tv and dvd player were on his dresser, which was just out of arm reach for him. He called me into his room and told me to turn both of them on. I said no, he pleaded a little bit, but I just walked away. He then got up, chased me, grabbed me, I'm pretty sure he punched me, and then forced me back into his room and demanded I turn his tv and dvd player on. He could have done it himself in two seconds by walking a foot so that he was within reach of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I throw blankets at my bedroom door until it shuts.
mockingbird13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Phoned my brother on his cell phone, while he was in the basement, to come into the living room and get my pack of smokes and an ashtray from the endtable across the room from where I was laying... I'm not proud
wolfman1245 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Last night I was sitting at my desk in my sleeping bag and when I thought it was time to go to bed I just rolled off my chair and on to my bed and fell asleep.
molspagetti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Uhhh... nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watching movie in room, have to pee, don't want to leave room to use washroom, pee in bottle.
bolarbear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One Saturday morning I didn't want to leave my room to go to the bathroom. So... being the creative 12 year old I was, I opened the window and pissed from the second story window into my backyard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not post here... wait... fuck...
LadyKnightmare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Balanced a drink on my boobs while watching TV, so I wouldn't have to sit up to reach the straw. Boobs = Shelf.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Story of my life
LadyKnightmare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
all hail the boob shelf. Holder of drinks, snacks, and electronic devices... also kittens sometimes, they like to snuggle there.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ALL HAIL!!!
LeppardCub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
seriously contemplated getting a taxi to kfc, but gave up when i couldn't find my phone to order one
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest thing I've done was beginning to type out the laziest thing I've done, and then decided it was too much work.
CJ101X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I drop a pencil in class, I don't bother getting up to get it. I bend over, and, nearly parallel with the ground, grab it from underneath whoever's desk it rolled under. Happens all the time.
donotclickjim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who is so lazy (and he knows it) explained to me one time that he went to the fridge to get some orange juice but because it was behind the milk decided to drink milk instead rather than have to move it to get to the orange juice.
mozrila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
DonSalchichon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a friends house and left to go home. My friend lived down the street, about 150 meters from my house, maybe 200 tops. The bus drove by just as I walked out his door so I took the bus home.
josh_rose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laziness is more about the things I have not done.
tonenine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin is a former military diver. On a recreational dive he led, all I did was look at my air and sea creatures. I didn't think about bottom time, depth, direction, drift, location of the boat, kick cycles none of that, just my air and looking at fish, it was sick!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not the laziest, but coolest.
I was in bed and wanted to turn the lights off too sleep. So I took off my socks and tossed it at the switch. Went off at first try.
Now I have a pile off socks lying under my light switch and a pile off crusty socks beside my bed.
ArkBass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
afrocircuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sundays Are usually my off days. So I keep fruits, beef jerky, snacks and water bottles all within arms reach, and stay in bed all day......I also try to limit my peeing to a maximum of two times by holding it in till I can't anymore. #judgeyourmon
dELUXE- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This shit is too inspiring
thedukeofjohn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Late, but I once sat a whole 3 day weekend in the same position playing Runescape so long it hurt. No showers, didn't brush my teeth, ate one piece of pizza. I think I peed two or three times. Mining got to 80 though.
CarpeDagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not me, but my brother. in his primitive years, he tied yarn around things in his room he didn't want to have to move to activate. things that fell victim to his young genius included light switches, ceiling fan pulls, and his door knob. he would sit in his bed like a fat cat reading or doing other 10 year old activities and just command his room with a few pulls of yarn.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I like to masturbate with basketball shorts on by firmly grabbing my penis and basically masturbating with the fabric. It makes you last longer, so you can enjoy your session, leaves no mess to clean up, and will be completely dry after you wake up from your nap.
debherter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to go through my mail when it comes. I pay the water bill when they shut the water off (about every three months). The water company is just down the hill from my house. I could actually stop there anytime to pay whatever I owe. It would save me the hassle of writing a check, finding an envelope and stamp, and stopping to put it in the outgoing mail, but I'm even too lazy to stop by there until I have to. Have also left some good sized checks in unsorted mail until they went stale-dated and I couldn't deposit them. Could ask the company to issue another one, but that would take effort.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Doing nothing was the laziest thing I've done
Or not
BlopBleepBloop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've thrown a shoe at my light switch to turn it off. Cracked the fixture that surrounds the switch, but I saved a whole 5 seconds!
TheDangerZone5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I got a nosebleed in the middle of the night but was too tired to get up. So I just went back to sleep and woke up the next morning with a nice pool of blood around my face.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pee in the god damn sink!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just remembered another. It's kinda a life hack/lazy combo
My first truck didn't have cruise control so I used to just jam an old baseball bat between the gas and the seat.
If I needed to slow down, because of a cop, or some asshat not going the speed limit...I'd just clutch
Keeping your foot depressed for an entire roadtrip...aint nobody got time for that
malenkylizards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
True story
Faggot_face12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't eat for two days even though I was really hungry because all the food I had required me to spend time cooking
SoulFire6464 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time, I was eating a pizza out of the box on my couch because I didn't want to do dishes. Later on, I wanted to masturbate but the box was in the way. I just kicked it of the couch and fapped anyway.
stokvis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A
l2emember ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just a few days ago, i received a deliver order from a lady. when the food was ready and the deliveryman arrived to the address provided, he tried contacting the customer. the customer must have provided a google voice number, so instead i tried contacting the hotel she was staying at. after about 10-15 mins of the deliveryman waiting outside in freezing weather, the lady called wondering where her order is. i told her that the deliveryman has been waiting outside for almost half an hour for her to pick up the order. instead of coming down to pick up the order herself, she instead tells me to instruct my deliveryman to leave the food at the reception desk.
So, i told the deliveryman to just leave the food at the desk, but the hotel people there denied him entry, so now he has been standing outside for almost 40 mins in freezing weather. i got really angry at the lady's incompetence, so i called the deliveryman back and refunded the order.
TL;DR: Customer ordered food, didn't even bother to pick up the food herself, ended up letting the deliveryman waiting for almost an hour outside in freezing weather.
DandVLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom bought me some curtains one time because I've always begged for some because my room is on the east side of the house. I've had them for about a year now, I've been to lazy to clean my room and move the table that's next to my window so I can hang them up
numbahnine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
PS3 controller died while watching netflix, looks like im watching the entire series
Xiuhuamei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I use my iPad find my iPhone to find my iPhone in the morning when I wake up and my phone fell of my bed into a crevice between my bed and the wall. It freaks me out to be without a phone.
Tl:dr my iPad finds iphones
EverSoSlightlyObtuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hate doing laundry. Washed only the essentials (jeans and bras) very infrequently and kept buying new underwear and tops ... this went on for over a year. Dirty laundry pile took up over half my room ... asked my mom to do my laundry for my birthday. She did.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Grew up in earthquake country. When I went off to college there was a ~5.0 magnitude earthquake during the night. I woke up to windows shaking in the frames. I looked up at the bare lightbulb above me, determined that it wasn't that big of an earthquake and pulled the blanket back over my head and went back to sleep.
misterpierce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One day when I was still in college... I was laying on my couch watching football. I realized I was thirsty, but not thirsty enough to get up and grab something out of the fridge. I laid there for about an hour until my thirst overcame me. Unfortunately, my laziness was more powerful. I looked around me to see what I could find. I noticed a cup sitting on the coffee table next to my roommates chair. The cup had been sitting there for two days. I looked inside of it to see what it was. Milk... I drank the milk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Took the first job offer because I really don't give a fuck. Work is going to suck either way. I also always date the first girl that obviously likes me because who cares it's all pretty much the same feelings and drama and pussy.
ATHEoST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to take a piss in the toilet from my bed...
reddome420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
peeing in the sink which is about 8 feet from the cough so i can still watch the TV while i piss, my bathroom is 10 feet in the other direction.
TheLyingProphet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once decided i should do something with my life, after i lost my virginity i decided that was enough life was done back to lvling.
Nippless_Cage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have been sleeping on just my mattress with one comforter for a couple months because I am too lazy to go wash my sheets and put them on my bed. So now I rely on my dog to lie on my comforter to keep it from falling off of me during the night
Zacherycarter2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not reading any of these.
mardfet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Turned on the onscreen keyboard so I didn't have to get my keyboard from 30 feet away.
deidara141 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to tell you but i'm too lazy,maybe tommorow
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is my kind of question. I was hungry, I hadn't eaten in 3 days, and I didn't reach for the sandwich that my mom put on a paper towel on my stomach. Nope, too far. Another example, I got someone to put the footstool above me, it has a hole in it, and ran a few straws together from my drink into my mouth. Liquid is pulled up by suction, and down by gravity. No movement required.
iampowerful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbating with mayonnaise because the lotion was across the room
staticzapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of my college roommates was known for leaving someones bedroom and leaving their door open. So I tied a string to the doorknob, and hung hooks from the ceiling, and made the string end next to my bed. That way I could just yank it closed and go to bed without ever getting up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My room was a mess, but didn't feel like picking up all of my clothes. So, for a month, I would wear clothes on the floor that smelled okay and weren't stained and, when I undressed for the night, would hang the ones I wore back up or throw them in the laundry basket.
I'm almost done.
kmlundberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've done no shave November out of sheer laziness... and I am a woman.
LavaisWatery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had to read a book for school so i decided to just read the summary.
bitizenbon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was very drunk and the living room was too comfortable to abandon, so I made a makeshift bathroom on the balcony of my apartment. It consisted of a wooden IKEA chair with no seating panel on it and an old mop bucket. Believe it or not, it took me less time to assemble this contraption than it would have taken to jiggle my way to the restroom.
I should patent this; the balcony toilet.
AlyGator69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One of the managers uses a long hand grabby thing to pick things up off the ground instead of actually picking it up. He tries to justify it by says germs but he doesn't wash his hands after using the public bathroom in the store (another manager told me), son we dismissed his justification and say he is just lazy and doesn't want to bend over to pick up things off the floor...
Apologician ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The Xbox Ones kinect would recognize my voice to stop Netflix so I could watch switch to the TV and watch The Walking Dead. The Xbox one remote sits about 1 ft away from me but I was to comfy on my couch to move. I then watched How I Met Your Mother for 3 straight hours.
xiqat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I would throw banana peels out the windows instead of the garbage can in the kitchen.
Iandabug07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not my laziest thing but my cats, he was going downstairs to the garage to go outside and half way down the stairs got tired and slept there.
skrewya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered something from "Amazon Prime" so I didn't have to go to the store to buy it.
SankariNL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ordered a pizza in a restaurant. When 30 minutes later the pizza was still not served, I called the restaurant to ask when my pizza would be ready...
KanpaiWashi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fridge full of food.
meh.
Lets order pizza and have them deliver.
fastslowfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Suzgy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My phone fell off my bed when it started ringing. I was too tired to get it and started sleeping. I skipped school because of that, but it was so worth it; 19 hours of sleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. And it was everything I would've hoped it to be.
yaroto98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I come from a big family (5 siblings) one day I really wanted cookies.
I approached one sister who I knew really liked mixing and making cookie dough and told her that if she made the dough I'd get them spooned out and baked. (see how carefully I worded it?)
I bet you can see where this was going...
I then approached another sister who was just laying around reading a book and asked her if I got cookie dough made would she bake them. I convinced her by saying she could just read in the kitchen and then have a tasty snack too!
In the end they both figured out what I did, everybody got cookies, but that was the only time I was able to use that trick.
th3shameless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
whenever i change places where i sit in my room, i migrate everything i might use with me so i wont have to get up again. its like i have my own cult of inanimate objects
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
How sad is it that I read these posts and they seem inspirational?
triagetechie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
8668 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In my bachelor days my roommate and I spent all our money on booze and drugs. Ran out of toilet paper quite often so we'd just shit then get right in the shower. Or just shit in the shower
Youssofzoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I grew an afro because I couldn't be bothered to get a haircut.
Ryder_GSF4L ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once watched a fox and friends marathon because I was too lazy to pick the remote up off my beer gut and change the channel. Then it fell off my belly and on the floor, aka no mans land....
Primalx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is a little late and was done by my friend. He woke up at 6 to get to his retail job 7. When he got there, he couldn't clock in so he went home.
Gonz024 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I downloaded an app that lets me control my pc from my cell phone so i don't have to walk over to my computer to download movies.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I was hungover one morning and wasn't going to get up for anything. I started to puke so I grabbed my bedroom trash can, puked in it, cleaned my face with a t-shirt, and then threw both the t-shirt and the trashcan away. /r/Frugal would hate me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
idk
bookworm99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My TV is to my left and my PC screen in front of me. Sometimes I switch programs (like Twitch) to my TV screen and swing my chair round to the left so I face the TV. Usually I end up browsing on my PC screen if the Twitch content gets a bit boring, which creates the problem of my left hand is now swung to the left side so I can't reach my keyboard to type but my right hand is still comfortably on the mouse. So I open up the on-screen keyboard so I can use it to search on google with my mouse instead of having to type. Using just my right hand to type is too slow so that's definitely out of the question, I need both hands. I literally have to swing my chair to the right using one foot to correct this problem, but I'm too lazy.
hungariannastyboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not something I did, it was my brother. He called me from the bathroom asking me to order a pizza. The bathroom shares a wall with my room.
gerbilassassin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in a computer class and I'm supposed to be doing work right now but instead, Reddit.
ONLlNEGAMER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Woke up and got ready for school.
In my dream.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I never finish anythi
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My first 40 hr/wk job was a data entry position in the late 90's. I was tasked with copying email metadata out of emails and into a data entry screen for trial discovery. I wrote an app to do it using VB6 / OLE Automation. I milked it for a few weeks then showed it to my boss.
Axwellington88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
peed on a towel in my closet cuz i would have to put on close so I could walk to the bathroom. I didn't even get out of my desk chair.
loco64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My computer is in my bedroom and I got up before the alarm went off. I started playing a game and then the alarm started going off. I decided to put on headphones because I didn't feel like getting up. Room is 14x12 I believe.
SandPocket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I just don't want to be a part of the living world, eating, talking, pooping, ect, so some weekends I will go to sleep on Fri night, and not wake up until about lunch time on Sun. I love it.
xiqat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove to the gym, it started raining, went home.
mardybum17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
every time I'm sick I usually choose lying in bed in hunger than actually getting up to eat. I'd rather slowly fall asleep hungry than get up to make myself food...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well last week I was really hungry but I didn't feel like cooking, so I thought I'd order takeout. Sat down on my chair and proceeded to not order anything and instead go without food for the rest of the night:
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted to play WarCraft 3. Didn't want to walk two feet to grab the CD. Downloaded it instead.
KillaGrZa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took a shower instead of wiping.
11trobo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took a bath late at night, and I was too tired to get out. I waited for the water to drain, and I fell asleep
1lonelyhusband ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for all the great ideas
runofthe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a girl who would call her boyfriend to come over and microwave popcorn for her. I did her. Ergo, she is the laziest thing I've done.
Hold your applause, just throw money.
kasarap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
paypal'd my cousin $20 to come to my house and answer the door for when papa johns delivered my cheesy garlic bread and bring it up to me while i watched tv
Shepards_Conscience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Made a conscious decision to purchase an Xbox 360 when I heard the remotes would not only be wireless, but would power on the game system. I could sit on my couch, pick up a remote, boot the system and be playing without getting up. This was back in 2003 or so, when details of the new Xbox system were starting to come out.
LightBerry81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This thread:
"I'm lazy, but at least I'm not THAT lazy!"
JonaVark5502 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Attempt to switch off the lights with my mind. In the end I just slept with it on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You don't know lazy until you have kids capable of doing your bidding
PajamahWife03: Pajamah, can you please grab me the __________?
Pajamah03: PAJAMAHDAUGHTER03!!!! GRAB YOUR MOM THE _______!!!!
PajamahWife03: Thanks Pajamah03**
True Story
Thanks may have been exaggerated, most likely was "get off your lazy ass and do it yourself"
t3220b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sat for an hour or so in the break room and argued with co-workers over who is the laziest person in the shop.
dicksaft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to apply to college, despite having better than average grades and loads of volunteer work to back me up for acceptance.
mrcarlita ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
slydexic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I want to eat an orange, but I'm too lazy to peel it.
ElCornGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Hooking up my extra wireless keyboard/mouse so I can browse reddit in bed from my desktop.
Hope499 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shoveled the driveway by using an electric lawnmower on it....
hovdeisfunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
creamedbeaver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
to lazy to get out of bed to get remote that is 2 arm lenghts away. solution: download comast app that allows me to change channel from phone.
BigShinySpartan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Two baskets of clean, folded laundry are downstairs in my laundry room. In the morning I just put on clothes from those baskets, and wash the dirty ones, repeating the process. All because I don't want to carry the baskets upstairs.
Manisbug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just threw out 2 mugs and a bowl because I didn't feel like cleaning them.
afganistanimation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
yesterday I cut my dollar store febreeze with water because I was too lazy to make the 5 minute drive to the store.
acetrainerjames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The house I grew up in had a weird set up. My room was the original Master, but the previous owners extended on it, so there was a bathroom in my room and it connected to the hallway and the other room. My parents had to walk through my room to go to the bathroom since they lived in the addition. Anyway, I used to get up and pea out of the window rather than walk to the bathroom. I don't know why, but fuck the bathroom, the window was exhilarating. I'm sure my parents saw me some time and just didn't say anything.
smori088 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I went to work my boyfriend stayed in bed and had a cold. Didn't want to get Kleenex on the dresser so he blew his nose in his sock. He got hungry so he went out for food and wore said socks. When he got back he didn't feel like getting a napkin (he bought wings) so he used the same sock again to wipe his hands and mouth.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time when I was living alone I hosted a huge dinner party. I made pasta with Alfredo sauce, pasta and meatballs in a tomato sauce, chicken Marsala, and a whole bunch of other messy shit. My guests offered to do my dishes but being a nice host I politely declined the help. Fast forward 3 months later and I still have a mountain of crusty and moldy dishes, pots, and pans. It was about that time I decided it was best to just throw them all out and buy new pots and pans another 3 months later.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: mountain of dishes in the sink
chanty1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Listen to "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But in that song, he actually isn't that lazy at all, he ends up doing a lot of shit.
zsebmod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't had a curtain on my window like for ~2 years because I was lazy to mount up, i'd rather turn down the light in my room at night.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to instant message a college friend of mine. He lived in the dorm across the hall. We could see each other typing.
sillypwilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once put on a coat that was lying on my couch, rather than get up to turn the thermostat up.
alblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I was too lazy to properly feed myself so I ate nothing but oatmeal for a week. I microwaved the stuff in the microwave with water, but that was the extant of my effort.
penguinseed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had to do an ER visit. After the fact, I didn't feel like faxing in my health insurance info which would have reduced my bill from $800+ to $150 or less. I never paid my hospital bill so it went to collections and has been ravaging my credit score ever since.
kungfu420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is probably dead and it wasn't my laziness but one of my old roommates in college. We were both in the same frat so we had pledges who would come over every other night and clean our apartment. Usually just 1, or 2 if we were lucky.
So it's about 6pm and my roommate makes ground beef. Literally a plate of just ground beef, because you know... college. So he eats like 1/3 of it and accidentally drops the plate on the floor spilling his greasy ground beef in a nice fat pile. So, naturally I'm thinking, "He's going to clean that up." Wrong!! He sat there until I told him something along the lines of, "Dude WTF clean that shit up!" To which he responds, ".....I was gonna wait for the pledges" They weren't going to be there for another 4 or 5 hours.
bigbear75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: My life every day.
L-i-q ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
frequently using on-screen-keyboard because I'm too lazy to use my left arm
lNinjaturtlex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well i do this all the time but when im done playing my ps3 i shut it off using the remote but my tv is still on so i wait for it to automatic shut off 10 minutes later. My tv remote is usually 3 feet away from me..
btaylor131 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once, my left wrist itched. Instead of reaching over and scratching it with my right hand, I bit my left wrist in order to relieve the itching.
Nicknamewhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I built an automatic fill water bowl for my dogs is I wouldn't have fill it.
tweetysweety71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered a pizza to get some soda. I lived across the street from a grocery store.
coryeyey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I am at my computer when I receive a text message. I have facebook open on my computer but in a different tab. Instead of clicking on the tab I open up facebook on my phone. Stuff like this happens intellectually every day for me.
LeonenTheDK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not bothering to type out my awesome laziness story.
danbreeno92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I got sick on myself and all over my pillow. Didn't want to get up so just turned over and slept on non puky side.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was on computer on bed. Room was freezing, so I went to my closet and put on a coat instead of turning on the heat which was 3 feet further to walk.
casos92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my roommate. Back when we were living in the dorms he made mac and cheese without leaving his seat. This involved using one of those grabbers for old people to grab the mac and cheese from under his bed, turn on the water, fill up mac and cheese cup, open the microwave, place the cup in the microwave, set the time, and grab it out of the microwave. He did all that using a grabber.
WeymoFTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college, one night, I peed out the window because we didnt have a screen. I didn't feel like walking to the bathroom. Wound up falling bsckwards and peeing all ovee my roommates bed. If had fallen forward I wouldn't be here. I was on the fourth floor..
RedMarz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just payed 5 dollars so I brother washes the dishes.
Not too lazy,but I don't care.
stillbitching ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I leave a dollar on the fridge with a note "for whoever washes the small black pot." It's a good way to avoid fights with roommates while maintaining extreme laziness.
armoredporpoise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I made my roommate hand me my computer so I could resubscribe to Netflix to watch a movie that already owned the DVD to.
reallydumb4real ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I decided which colleges to apply for based on whether or not I could use the essay I had already written for the common app
johnabc123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:56 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't feel like sitting up to reach my computer mouse so I downloaded a virtual mouse app on my phone.
somaganjika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Taped two yard sticks together so I could change the tv channel from my bed. (I lost the remote) (I called it my lazy stick)
SteevFrench ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Took woodshop class during the second half of my senior year in high school. Most of the big projects would just be left in the hall outside of the shop room for awhile once they were finished. Made a nice bench out of cedar for my parents backyard for my first project. Decided not to do a second project and slept on that bench everyday until graduation. Teacher didn't say a word about it.
SonicMooseman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that lazy compared to a lot of these, but sometimes I decide I don't want to go to the main desk in my house to sharpen my pencils, so I will just grab a knife and the pencil from my desk in my room and shave it down to sharpen it. My house is a 1 story and the desk area is pretty much a total of 20 steps away. I've done this more than once.
MissSammich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a string attached to my light switch so I can turn my light off from in my bed. I've done this in all 3 of my rooms
peepjynx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Texting my boyfriend, who is right behind me at his computer,( because I didn't want to get up and/or take my headphones off... ) asking for more tea.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late but whatever.
So I was in bed and I had yelled to my mom to ring me a glass of water. She forgot and so I called to home phone and quickly hung up. Since she was up, she got the glass of water
austin29684 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:21 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was in my basement watching tv wanting to go on my computer, which was upstairs, so I used an app on my phone to control my computer to put the computer's display on the tv so I wouldn't have to go upstairs
ofnaturalhistory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had a gig that night and instead of getting my bands CD from the case and running through the songs I torrented our album and played along to a bootleg of our new song on YouTube.
gormlessTosser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This literally just happened. My door was open, so I played some really loud j-core so my dad would close it.
crapnapkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
stoppedusingthespacekey
gingerbeast124 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:41:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nicebruhsavesalotoftimeright
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You know that thing that you do where you use your toes to pick something up and flip it into the air so you don't have to bend down to pick it up?
I do it with everything. Paper, clothing, the tv remote.
Also, I once ordered a pizza that I didn't want because it came with a free 2-liter, and I was too lazy to go to the store and get my own pop.
societyx1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My roommates and I one year had a terrible case of who should take out the trash. So in order to determine who should take it out we came up with trash-jenga. By piling trash after the can was full, the person who causes the tower of trash to fall has to take out it out. The funny thing is, the place to put the trash bags was just 20 feet down the hall.
gateboy6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just like from that show?
societyx1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, we did not take it from a show when we thought it up. We don't watch much TV.
mralbania ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Told my brother to get the remote infront of me.
cmd242 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My whole college career I have been paying people to do my work for me. When they say no, I call them lazy. How rich is that?
rocketballz47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Left the Xmas tree up til April before I took it down
b-lincoln ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my room mate in college was obsessed with the TV. He would skip class and just sit and watch stupid shit; judge judy, tennis, what ever was on at 1:00pm. Me and my other room mates got tired of the fact that we could never watch tv in between classes or listen to the radio (this was before smart phones/tablets/laptops/ipods), so we hid the remote from him and great fun was had at his expense. He spent hours over the next three days frantically looking for the remote. He tore the couch apart more times than I can count, the kitchen cabinets, closets, all to no avail. Eventually he conceded defeat, and took one of our kitchen chairs and moved it a foot in front of the tv, so that he could continue to channel chase.
THE_CUNT_SHREDDER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have done some lazy things but, so have many of you. My unique lazy thing is also pretty unhealthy. There are these biscuits in Australia known as Arrowroots. Traditionally, they are eaten with a little butter spread on one side. I was to lazy to spread (real) butter so I put it in a small bowl then in the microwave and softened it up. With the biscuits, I then used the soft butter as a dip.
Rutawitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
didnt feel like moving my left hand from holding up my head to type so i open up virtual keyboard with my mouse
man4241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't go finish a essay because it was a floor up and so very far away. Needless to say I didn't do so well in that class.
Cuzzins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to keep a 10 foot pole next to my bed so I wouldn't have to get up to turn the lights off.
lickedbyfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I "miss call" my sister to come to my room and switch off the lights
hxmsky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't feel like going to the bathroom to take out a tampon so I took it out and left it on my nightstand... yeah.....
musclenugget92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf
mannulusmeum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
built a gun out of k'nex to kill the lights whenever I wanted to sleep..
BasiKs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My apartment is right next to the laundry room, and I hate folding laundry. Did a load on Sunday, too lazy to fetch from dryer. Wednesday rolls around and my girlfriend is pestering me to get the load from three days ago. Fine, fine... I get up and open our front door, hear someone open the dryer, immediately about-face and close the door again. Girlfriend just laughs.
Probably not my laziest moment, but one of the more shameful.
lagwagonlead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I often times call my boss even though he could hear me if I just yelled through the wall or walked 10ft to his office.
Sometimes he will ignore my call and force me to get up.
lextexmex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In high school my best friend and I had to do a project for our science class that consisted of visiting an aquarium and writing a report about it. I really did not feel like going so I went on google and searched some pictures of people at an aquarium. I happened to find a blog where this girl posted a whole album of her trip to the aquarium. I took those photos, photoshopped my best friend in a few of them and left the rest as is. During the presentation I told my teacher that the girl was my cousin. We got a 90
Furya94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wash myself with napkins instead of a shower sometimes
flashmoregash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When steaming drunk I'll sleep in bath so I can be sick or piss and not have to worry about the mess as I can rise it down when I wake.
Sic_vita_est ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wet my hand in the sink and stuck it in the ice tray so I can get ice for my drink.
asusguy17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spent 70 bucks on a lutron maestro wireless dimming system for my room so that I did not have to move to shut the lights off.
Absurd_Platypus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Put on my trousers without using my hands, just my toes. It took me nearly 10 minutes, but I got there
1blckbx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oxymoro
emspfaery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing...literally.
dempanu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I took the car regularly to the grocery store 200 yards from my appartment to buy dinner.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when I make ramen I just put the noodles in a cup of water and, you know ... it'll get there eventually.
SouthpawRage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A few months ago, I ate a piece of gooey butter cake for breakfast because it was already in a Styrofoam bowl in the fridge. It was delicious, and no dishes.
spiscit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
I used the finglonger!!!
Above is more of a TL;DR. The story is as follows: My light switch in my bedroom is on the opposite wall of my bed's headboard. Every night I would be on Reddit in bed (either laptop/phone) and be to tired or too lazy to turn off the light. I used every method but most were unsuccessful. Then one saturday after lying in bed for a couple hours I walked outside to the apartment complex being built across my street and grabbed a long wooden pole when the workers weren't looking. I then went home and pondered how I was going to sand my pole ( Thatswhatshesaid ) and then ordered from a local Chinese restaurant and paid the guy an extra 30$ to go down the street to a hardware store and have it sanded. Now I keep it stuck in my ceiling fan (at an angle that it is caught between the fan blade and the ceiling and doesn't fall) which i never use so i can easily access it with minimal limb movement. Also: it failed the first few tries so i decided that it needed a larger object on the end to smack things. I then took a traveling pillow (the closest thing to me at the time) and some masking tape and voila! my ghetto finglonger is born!
hkdharmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My dad gave me a Rubikโs cube and told me to solve it. I broke it apart with a screwdriver and reassembled it solved.
BigZ7337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I found myself always on the computer, and when I went to buy something I'd never have my wallet handy. To avoid having to get up and search for it, I memorized all of my credit card numbers. Also, I was always annoyed having to go to my router to let people know the code for my router when they're visiting. So I memorized the whole code as well (it's some random thing since I never bothered to put in a different easier to remember code). I've actually memorized a lot of different things out of laziness.
SiLiZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:05 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Kykilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the laziest when I do nothing.
MisterxRager ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
And here I thought throwing away dirty dishes was pretty fucking lazy that's nothing compared to you legends of lazy.
bourne_ruffian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:57 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying on the couch and my chipotle burrito was sitting about a foot away from my face on the coffee table. Instead of picking it up with my hands and taking a bite, I just rolled forward, bit off a chunk, and then rolled back in place. I continued to do this for the rest of the burrito.
bourne_ruffian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, instead of doing the mountain of dishes in the sink, I tossed them all in a garbage bag and threw it down the stairs.
cdlrosa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm kind of fat. Sometimes when I come to a door that needs to be pushed open, if no one is watching, I'll push it open with my gut rather than expending the energy to lift my arms and push it open with my hands.
D1sc0nn3ct3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:19 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Happens all the time If my hands are full. It's kinda like having an extra arm...
bourne_ruffian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, I peed the bed. Didn't wash my sheets the entire year and slept on the same spot once it dried. Beer piss is pretty clear and it's sterile right? Writing this out I realize I might be the laziest most awful person ever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not finishing this sent
d4m4s74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When gaming, to avoid having to go to the bathroom I just wear diapers.
shankems2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was awake on my computer at my desk. Too lazy to walk to my bed. Stayed awake.
omgmrj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
As a system administrator, I can't count the number of times I spent way too long troubleshooting a problem with SSH/RDP/iLO, just so I wouldn't have to walk the 20 feet over the the physical server to do something.
thelettertwelve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just realized how NOT lazy I am after reading these.
cecstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once made KD but I didn't have any clean bowls so I ripped the box in half and lined it with tin foil. Also didn't have any butter or milk so I used raspberry jam as sauce lubricant. It was not successful in a delicious way.
themanrighthere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
1.5 year old surround sound system... sitting next to my PC ..
About 4 months in i said oh yeah.. and setup the sub and front two speakers. I forget how I justified half-assing it.
AND THEN I GOT HIIIIGH.
phytohydra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've become a master of whipping light switches off with pillows and nearby objects. Getting off my futon is quite a strain.
tletang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Now that I have netflix I'm to lazy to grab a disk from the shelf if I own it and just stream it.
snavee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ordered pizza multiple times over the summer and the pizza place was literally in the plaza right across from my house.
tryagainand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When i was a small kid i would flip to my side and pull down my pants and point my penis to a towel and pee into that. My bathroom is literally 2 feet from my door.
niraen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i VNC'd through my phone to my laptop which was 2 metres away to enable utorrent remote so I could use utorrent from my phone to download without stretching more than a metre .
Raelrapids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted to jerk off, but I was too lazy to get up and get a tissue, so I just jerked off and when I busted, I took my sock off and wiped it up with that. Then I was too lazy to clean the sock myself and not have the lady at the laundrymant think I'm a freal so I threw it in the garbage.
dahunnybadga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Probably doing nothing that one time all the time.
suchdownvotes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I'm not that lazy
lickmylovepump006 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i have a sock bin, too lazy to match socks and put them together so i dump them all in my bin. Works great and saves a lot of time if you dont mind wearing mismatch socks everyday. The same goes for silverware, and tshirts
ipoopskittlez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy and i lost the remote to the tv so him and I looked around for objects we can poke the tv with to change the channel. We decided to keep a fishing pole next to the couch until he moved
MoistIsANiceWord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I usually do my laundry/bedding at night, because I'm busy all day.
There have been many times where I've done my sheets laundry at night and was too lazy to make my bed again afterwards and just brought my sleeping bag out of my closet and slept in it on top of my bare mattress with a pillow and made my bed the next day.
rancemohanitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You start.
MLPYuri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in bed on my iPad, but I wanted to turn on my computer. So I spent 15 bucks on a remote desktop app and turned it on.
Shamson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:07 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My room mate and I used to talk to each other on msn messenger or IRC instead of talking. I could see his desk from my desk.
King_shmoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:57 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Threw a plate away because I was too lazy to wash it.
KarmaUK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:01 on March 11, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I've done that, when I've left stuff so long that it's gone moldy and welded itself to the plate.
Sad things is I'm usually an avid recycler, than I ruin all of that by chucking out perfectly reusable stuff that just needs a bloody good wash.
allenmanhouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:34 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying in bed and dropped the remote just out of my reach, so I spent the next ten minutes trying to throw the blanket on top of it and drag it to me.
PedroDelCaso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:58 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Consumed a 2 litre tub of ice cream (I'm allergic as well by the way) so that I didn't have to take it downstairs to the freezer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:20 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
therobe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That ain't lazy that's just disgusting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:33 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me and a friend were playing Battlefield 3 and we spawned at a base that had no vehicles and the nearest bomb was over 400m away and we decided to sit and not run because it would take to much time.
surferchik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:32 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Drove to the mailbox because I didn't feel like walking up the driveway to check the mailbox.
carty64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:50 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Watching this episode of Dads because I can't see the remote anywhere
Fabiooooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:37 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not read the posts in this thread that are >1ยถ
colinbr96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:36 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't comment on this post.
Wait a second...
Mrs_C_W ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:18 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Let's see...
I sat on my bed for 6 hours thirsty later having to pee. My drink was 5 feet away.
My fiancรฉ brought me breakfast one morning and I continued to eat it laying down when I was thirsty instead of sitting up I put the cup on the floor and leaned over to drink it. I have a futon so it's low.
BaconXL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted a late night fast food run with friends, sent my friend out since I was too lazy to get off the couch. When they came back and I finished eating I realized they forgot the napkins. The receipt was taped to my packaging so I just used that wipe my mouth.
chachah4k3s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:59 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Today I was supposed to have a packaged delivered, and instead of going downstairs to see if it was on the porch, I just kept refreshing the tracking website until it said delivered.
Whalers7997 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:08 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised nobody has said not wipped their ass.
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:32 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Loads of people have said that. My inbox is full of people with their bodily functions.
legends31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:56 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had to pee at night, didn't want to get up so I pissed myself and went back to sleep
Society_Shit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:46 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laying in bed, I needed a tissue... I wiped my nose on my pillow, turned it over and fell back asleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman year of college we didn't have a washer/dryer in our apartment. Being that we're socially awkward and anxious, the laundromat was a severe hassel. Our record for not doing laundry was three months.
We only had about two weeks worth of underwear.
canuckfanatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:28 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
So you had to wear each pair of underwear for around 6 days without washing them?
That's disgusting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:14 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No, there was a lot of going commando and sniff testing.
pds_king21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:59 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the WOW days, a couple of friends and I would bring our gaming rigs to another friends house. His name was frank. Well Frank's room was located above the detached garage a good ways away from the main house. He once figured out that it was less steps walking to his car then to go inside. So what did he do? Jump in the car and drive himself to get drinks/food. After 5+ hours of raiding dungeons, he didnt want to disturb his sleeping parents. it made sense at the time.
Wahman875 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:25 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of doing dishes once I had run out of glasses, I started drinking water out of bowls.
GeneralGump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:05 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
courtneyshove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:22 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ordered grocery items with Amazon Prime so I didn't have to drive to the store.
OCD_ocd_o_c_d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:05 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once i had a pressure cooker and a separate rice cooker so that i could make curry in the pressure cooker and rice in the rice cooker. One day i make curry, decide its not that great and keep it on the slab which is right next to the kitchen sink and the trash can. Every single day i would go into the kitchen look at the cooker and just leave it there. A few weeks down the line i make a little too much rice in the rice cooker and decide that i will throw it since i wont be using it. Now, the slab next to the sink already has the other cooker with the curry i made 2 weeks ago still sitting there. So i decide to keep the rice cooker with the rice to be thrown in one half of my kitchen sink. I still have the other half to wash my glasses and cereal bowls etc. Now 2 months pass on and i can barely enter the kitchen with the rice cooker completely covered with fungus. The other cooker with the curry thankfully has been tightly closed and i don't dare open it to see what creature has started living in there. So i decide finally that i will open my trash compartment right below the sink and place both the rice and pressure cookers there thinking that i will throw it the next time i take out the trash. Its been nearly three months after that happened and i have taken out my trash at least 10 times and i still haven't thrown the fungus infected cookers under my sink.
Also, a new rice and pressure cooker set will set me back by about 60$ which is not a big deal. For the past 4 and some months i have not cooked dinner or lunch at home and have been eating out daily or if i am too lazy to go out, just sit at home and think about the times i had my cookers!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:30 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I ordered food online.
annoyedGamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:49 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
loves to pee a little latlstLn2eerlatlstlatls in st: loves to pe to pee inEdit: Re i don't know w
Huntersteve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:38 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had no clean cups once so I drank milk out of a bowl and licked it out like a cat.
Steeva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:21 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
thekeed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:32 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was in my bed and too lazy to talk so I texted my brother to ask him something. We sleep in the same room.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:45 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Paid a speeding ticket online even though I drive by the city hall (where you can pay it) everyday.
UltimateShingo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:54 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I often get stuck in thought loops, where I just sit and not move for an hour or two, while thinking about a topic first, then start to zoom out and I only realize the time having flown by by randomly looking at my alarm clock.
Most of the instances where I cut actions short is because I don't have the energy to do certain things like going out or call someone.
I also thought about learning Shorthand so I don't need to write so much on my sticker posts, I instead started to memorize the stuff.
CJ090 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Just today, the LT tells me to open a hatch and I want to verify nobody is standing on it so instead of running topside to check I use the periscope to look at the hatch top
methshin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:19 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't want to put on socks, pulled pants down and walled with my feet inside them.
StevieG123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:39 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
No one wanted to hand me the tv remote to change it so I decided to just fall asleep
winnipeghomicide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:32 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Mr_Clean91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:38 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I designed and built a system of pullies so that I could open the door to my dorm room from my desk. Literally a distance of four feet, max.
Dude0720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:57 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Two minutes ago I didn't post on this thread...but then I came back...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:13 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote the essay required for my graduation of high school the night before it was due. We have to do a "product" too, so I kinda did that, still haven't completely finished it. I made the presentation that I would present to the class for constructive criticism in about an hour...
Ok so procrastination isn't really that lazy. I'm in the top 10 of my class so it works for me.
Laziest thing I've ever done is probably get a days worth of food when I woke up to pee in the morning so I could just stay in bed and not have to get up for anything.
ohbuggerit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:53 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My lightbulb went in my bedroom 2 years ago and I'm too short to change it, I've been doing everything by the light of a small temperamental lamp
There's a ladder sitting right there, I just can't be arsed to climb it
ELSaGra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:19 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fiddling around with keys, cards and nails 40 minutes to unscrew something while there was a shed full of tools 30 seconds away.
jk99951 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:13 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Our college dorms (Towers at Pitt) had elevators that only stopped at every third floor.
I lived on the second floor, and would take the elevator to three so I could walk down one flight of stairs instead of up one flight.
efinitix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:41 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laziest thing i ever did was i paid someone on mIRC to do my homework for an entire year @ college :>
geforceftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:24 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I only fold my socks in winter. Shirts don't get folded just thrown in a basket because I'm wearing a jacket over it so I'm not worried about wrinkles.
MechanicalJesus05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:42 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Im in a chair that easily rolls across hardwood floors. I had a paper due the next day and it turns out I am 1 ft away from reaching my computer keyboard. Instead of rolling that 1ft I break out my wireless keyboard. The only catch were that some keys on the keyboard were missing, specifically the i,o,m,g,and h keys. I say screw it and write the 10 page paper with out any of those letters.
ArturusPendragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:33 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to say that I have shit on the beach and sat around waiting for the tide to clean it up for me.
I'd like to say this.
So I will.
Only_Diana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:05 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My college has a free student restaurant that is 5 minutes away from my apartment on foot. Last summer I had no money to buy/order something to eat and was too bored to go there for dinner so I just skipped dinner for 2 weeks straight.
puckhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:08 on November 29, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once called my friend's little sister to come down to my house just to close the refrigerator that I had forgotten to close.
froyo_away ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:55 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Moved thrice in last 6 years. 3 boxes have never been unpacked.. we just keep moving them from house to house.
saphira911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:44 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To get onto netflix on the 360 I would go to apps and than scroll down to netflix.Got informed you can just go onto recent on the front page and get to netflix in less movements.I've done it since.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:59 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL: Some people really are that lazy.
drewbymydewby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:11 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
http://mashable.com/2013/12/01/amazon-unveils-flying-robot-delivery-drones/
Canadian_POG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:41 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My life.
vrraghy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:04 on December 7, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I can't recollect
colejosephhammers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:39 on December 11, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shit my pants 'cause it's laundry day.
Bmore_Champs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:20 on December 24, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:12 on December 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was on a long board today going way to fast. Stayed on instead of trying to get off. Figured it would get me down the road faster. Ended up scraping myself a lot worse than if I had tried to get off when I first could tell I was getting out of control.
CyberMurph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:52 on February 1, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
22 years as an officer in the United States Army and I have never read anything so beautiful in my entire life.
lisatav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:53 on March 5, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I sat in the shower so I didn't have to bend over to shave my legs.
tahdallaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:59 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
i record hip hop artists/bands in my spare time for a little extra cash, and i ended a recording session halfway through it. I ended it because i was leaning all the way back in my super-reclining office chair, and didn't want to lean forward far enough to be able to touch my keyboard and mouse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:43 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Let's see...
My light switch is barely out of reach from the end of my bed (that I never feel like getting out of) so I usually flick shirts at it like they're whips until I turn it on/off.
I will try to pick stuff up off the floor with my feet (and probably spend a good minute or two trying) because I don't feel like taking two seconds and bending down to get it. Half the time it doesn't work and I have to bend down and pick it up anyway.
I know there's more but I'm too lazy to think of any.
nerdunderwraps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:21 on March 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently lying the wrong way on my bed because I'm to lazy to turn around.
nerdunderwraps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:12 on March 17, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I used to yell out for my younger sister who was around 8 at the time, there were times where she would come up a flight of stairs to find me reading at which point I would ask if she was thirsty... then I would just ask her to go get me a drink and a snack because I'm to lazy to dance around the real issue. She'd come back, find a place to put it all, then leave... it was great
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:00 on March 18, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Occasionally, when the dishes began to smell and I didn't want to wash them, I would spray them with febreze.
fluffypigkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:55 on March 21, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
My headphones got tangled in my hair, so instead of untangling them, I unplugged them and walked around holding them for the next hour
KennethHimura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:27 on March 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
i replace a smart sounding word with a simple smaller one because i'm to lazy to open up a tab and see if i'm using the word correctly on google
Lavosierre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:44 on March 24, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
i don't know, but do you guys combine your comments and post it to 9gag? http://9gag.com/gag/aAYv4VR
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:58 on March 24, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Nope! That would be 9gag!
kirasaurusrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:04 on March 27, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
once I woke up in the middle of the night and had to pee, so I just bunched up my sheet in between my legs and told myself I'd just wash it in the morning
armanox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:39 on March 28, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a very lazy PC gamer, so lazy that I would pee in an empty soda bottle and leave it under my desk. I managed to pile up to 3 pee-bottles this way.
robyank88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:07 on April 3, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Was taking a piss during a party at my house. while realizing i had a house full of people and not wanting to kick them out, finished pissing, and fell asleep on the floor of my bathroom because walking out of their to bed was too far
ThatGuyGio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:33 on April 8, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
There are many spoons, forks and other stuff under my mother's sofa, because, when I still lived in that room, I would always eat while lying down.
zerubroberts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:34 on April 11, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Peed in my bed, because I was too sleepy to go to the bathroom.
And then, stayed with the same boxers the whole morning until my mom forced me to take a bath.
hadini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:28 on April 11, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
One day, I
fkmfkm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:12 on April 11, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
once my whole family went to Hawaii for 2 days and i didn't wanna come so i was left alone in my house. too lazy to get out of bed, didn't ate till my family came back.
smithl2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:13 on April 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
my mum bought pre-grated cheese, rather than buy a block of cheese and use our electric cheese-grater to grate it.
SpecialPuppy1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:44 on April 15, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Slept and entire day away. From 11 AM to 1 AM.
TheHeroicOnion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:48 on April 21, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, very very late but my brother was lying in bed and his door was open, he called our mam(mom) who was in the kitchen and asked her to come down to him for something important, he just told her to close the door.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:42 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this thread just made me feel lazy.
stcypdx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:43 on April 22, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I love this story because my dad was 3rd in command of the battleship New Jersey and it could've been him.. Except he's a total morning person..but this is my favorite reddit story ever! >Edit: Reddit loves to pee in stuff
cow_a_bunghole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:17 on April 27, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I put my clean clothes back in my laundry basket to carry them back to my dorm room. From there on out I throw my dirty clothes on the floor until i'm out (literally). Repeat. Trade-off? 2 inch thick shirt carpet for awhile.
JChubacca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:54 on April 30, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't want to take out the trash so I cut up my leftover chicken and waited until the next time I had to take a shit and flushed it down together.
MrDANAN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:39 on May 2, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
to lazy to make up an idea to turn off my light so i started looking at this thread. lights still D:
osmosisjonesin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:28 on May 3, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I called a pledge to run across campus and get me a beer out of my fridge..
EpicFace752 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:30 on May 12, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I once sat at the toilet so long that the lights went off.
plasmalaser1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:47 on May 13, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
I buy 64 oz Gatorade bottles so i can pee in it when i dont feel like going to the bathroom thats 4 feet away from my room
Thetek9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:12 on May 23, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Its not me... but my brother as a child was too lazy to wipe his own ass. So after he was done shitting, he would scream for our younger sister to come "wipe his bum."
Smailien ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:56:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Laziest thing I ever did was not finishi
Philofelinist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:29 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes at night when I have to pee, I take a quick shower so I don't have to go to the toilet.
jessticless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:09:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is like the opposite of lazy
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:19:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jessticless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you need something warm to wear to go pee?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jessticless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
But isn't your toilet right next to your shower?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have one of those instant-hot supplies on your shower or something? I'd have to stand their naked in a cold bathroom for about 20-30 seconds waiting for frigid water to even clear the shower line before hopping in. I could have been done by then.
TyQuil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I live across the street from a large supermarket.
I needed to buy more than an armload of groceries, so I got in my car and drove across the street just so I wouldn't have to walk across traffic with lots of heavy bags.
bennyha1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
well thats just smart
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just steal a grocery cart? Walk it across the street, then walk it home
Just make sure you don't get one with the Wonky Wheel
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
himynameisriz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:09 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I called my mom from my room when I was about 15, and she was in her room, across the hall, maybe 100 feet away at most. I called her from my cellphone, to the homephone, and asked her to bring me food because I was hungry. It worked.
johnlennonseviltwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't find the remote, settled for the soccer game that was playing.
HashStash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of going to my brothers bedroom which is next door to mine, I called our house phone from my cell phone, causing him to get up and go down the hallway and pick up the phone for me to ask him to turn off my tv.
cringejustice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this
DannySpud2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't be bothered to clean my bathroom for ages. Eventually the carpet started growing mushrooms. Got my landlord to replace the carpet.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Shouted my daughter from upstairs to pass me my beer from the coffee table that is right in front of me.
Rainman316 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Coasted through high school. I could've done so much better with so little effort.
shiroboi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just gonna steal all the ideas from this thread and write the best slacker sitcom ever.
StroubleAnTrife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your mum
conanabanana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
enfenry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
beat me to the post... Now I just won't bother posting an answer...
Hey, that's it!
Friesenburgers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was too lazy to finish typ
acondie13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ate cereal from a casserole dish instead of doing dishes.
myrden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Everyone on reddit is in actuality a cat who's too lazy to do shit
boss_dogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to write my story
ShinmaOC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest thing I've ever done was being born. Everyone around me did all the work and I did nothing but whine and cry the whole time.
supasteve013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
You fucks are too damn lazy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was late to my own funeral.
Patrik333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I recently spent half an hour googling makeshift bottle openers and fashioning anything within arm's reach into one, so I didn't have to get up and go to the kitchen to open my cider.
Pissed in the kitchen sink multiple times to avoid having to go upstairs to the bathroom (don't tell mum pls).
Probably many more things, but cba to remember.
UnboundSouls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not finishing this c
eckho28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:30 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once in Freshman year of Undergrad, I had an Econ exam, and was too lazy/tired to get out of bed to go to class and take it (I lived in the dorms and the class was on the other side of campus). However, after about 10 mins, I decided I didn't want to fail the class and retake it so I dragged my lazy ass out of bed, got dressed, got my stuff, and got in my car to go. When I got to the other side of campus, the closest parking lot to my class was full, so I went back to my dorm and got back into bed.
WastedMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:21 on November 28, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
well... I should just post a picture of my apartment.... I'd have everyone in this thread beat hands fucking down... but I'm too lazy. Anyway the outcome of my laziness is this: it has finally gotten to the point where my apartment is so disgusting that the cleaning woman that (long ago) used to clean my apartment came to give me an estimate of what it would take to clean today... she said "I'll do it for $500.00 and not a dime less." She's scheduled for this Saturday morning. I'll gladly pay it. I live in filth. -- edit: it should be noted that I live in a one bedroom apartment that is maybe 600 square feet.
THEMBISCUIT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:27 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I type out "slash" on my phone instead of long pressing to find the actual symbol.
Dragonborn1995 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:51 on December 15, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's exams weeks and I'm here. Not studying. So yeah I got that going for me, which is nice.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had to piss, too damn tired to get up and blind myself with the bathroom light, knowingly piss myself in my damn bed on the sheets. Fall asleep within seconds. Wake up, discover that I really like the smell of pee, it helps me sleep.
jcpworker ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
1 in a water bottle next to my bed because the bathroom is all the way upstairs.
bonerpunch456 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not upvoting this post
londonfootball ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well one time I was going post on red
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Make this username to get free karma from topics like this. Now I don't have to share an interesting story.
psybientz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:17:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
free downvotes
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My DVD player will skip from time to time, probably about 3 or 4 times during a movie. All you have to do it tap the top of it and it'll go back to normal, but that requires getting up off the couch. So I keep a few small objects like erasers and pens to throw at it when it skips so I don't have to move.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:28 on January 16, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
in 2008 I quit my job
willingly went to live on the streets of LA (I already lived there my whole life)
I ran away to seattle in 2009,
got my mum to send me a meager allowance to eat
while I stayed inside All day reading and listenting to music
took a greyhound back to LA in 2012 hoping the world would end in dec 2012
it didn't.
its now 2014 and I still haven't gotten a job, I still read, paint and listen to music (and Reddit at the Library)
all day every day
every goddamn day.
The legend continues.
PapaBreadstick ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:18 on February 26, 2014 ยท (Permalink)
Not finishing this sen..
wobigity ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:47:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed in a Gatorade bottle next to the bed instead of walking to the bathroom.
Unicornfarts69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:56:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I used to always throw things from my bed to my desk when I was laying down and didn't feel like getting up. One time I threw a bottle opener, it fell behind my desk, hit the switch on my power strip, and simultaneously turned off my TV, computer, cable box, and fish tank lights. I realized that the universe was punishing me for my laziness and now I get up to put things on my desk. I do still throw a pillow at my light switch every night to turn it off though.
wmgrayhughes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:26:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was really hoping you were gonna say that after all your power went out, you just fell asleep because you didn't want to get up and turn it back on.
Cruciphixed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I thought was gonna happen. At least he thought about the fish, though
british_teen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:05:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes pee in an empty pop bottle because I don't want to leave my warm bed
crocostix ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:47:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Went 2 days without eating, just lying in bed. Only got out to walk the 5m to the bathroom. Didn't shower, just nature calls. Too lazy to eat, because kitchen was downstairs. I had also just downloaded some series that I hadn't seen before.
Apexe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:56:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
indefinite_denial ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:15:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I decided to breathe slowly/less on purpose because it required too much effort and I was tired.
ReadyPower ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:27:24 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Piss in a water bottle so I don't have to get out of bed.
gepgepgep ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:40:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time i was in my bedroom and I had forgotten that I left my sandwich on my drumset. I didn't want to walk all the way to get it so
Ryiiian ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:44:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I have a research paper due in 2 days but I am going on a mini vacation and have to hand it in a day early. I haven't picked a topic yet, I'm on reddit. : / Tomorrow..
shlamon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:18:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too lazy to write it
Toadahtrip ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:18:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The laziest, ah forget it.
dogbowl14 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:19:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. Nothing at all.
gee842 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:22:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, Ill tell you later
NomNomNinja4 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:33:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I went to upvote a comment on this post, but missed and decided it wasn't worth the second attempt. I'm not saying who it was either.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:40:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i pee in things other than the toilet
theonewhoknows2much ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:40:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
bazookadaver ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:41:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
not take the time to think of something for this thread
Like_Onyx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:49:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
red_sky33 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:08:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Well tonight I plan on sleeping in sweatpants and when I wake up I'll put a shirt on and go to class.
Johnsu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:20:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Fapped one night in a drunken party with myself. Came buckets and the dog came in and I directed the dog the lick it up.
Cinosh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:26:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
jerked off on to my stomach whilst laying down but was too lazy to clean up the mess, and just fell asleep...woke with a crusty film on my skin.
BGizzle7070 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:33:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
If im expecting a package, I always check tracking on my phone before I walk to the mailbox. Did I mention my mailbox is on the house?
Drew707 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:33:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I pissed in a cup at night so I wouldn't have to put underwear on to go to the bathroom.
hotliquidbuttpee ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:43:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: great big fat people.
bonsaipc ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:44:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Left the 2 liter bottle by my bed because the fridge was too far away, then I had to piss and the bathroom was definitely too far away, so I pissed in the bottle
Volsunga ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:46:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Wrote a short macro that did my job for me back when I did data entry.
profanic ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:48:03 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
gotta say all these are classic...i guess .one. of mine is grabbing the TV remote off the coffee table or floor with my feet.
Thumpasaur ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:00:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
you should rename this post to "Make up some stupid shit you never did"
username5150 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:01:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
licked my plate clean every day for a month in college so i didn't have to wash it every time i had to eat
xPostScriptx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:06:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
Iceburg_sl1m ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:08:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
your mom
chuckybpsp ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:09:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Your wife
Moxay ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:35:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Pretended to break my arms so my mother would beat me off instead.
melancholalia ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:39:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
hi five for referencing that IAmA thread from like one hundred months ago
Moxay ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:43:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
High five for getting upset about a reddit hivemind
melancholalia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:48 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
haha that was a genuine high five! wasn't being sarcastic.
Moxay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Oh haha sorry! Thought you were trying to be a nob, my b.
melancholalia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
haha, no worries! :)
melancholalia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
just couldnt remember when it was and i like the way "one hundred months" sounds.
Stelfury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:04 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even know how you came to the conclusion that they were upset. I would have taken that high five as a compliment.
Moxay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm used to sarcasm on reddit
Bird_nostrils ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:36:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bathroom was down the hall in my dormitory, but my room had a sink in it. Once, I really had to go bad and the bathroom was occupied, so I just pissed in the sink.
After that, only went to the bathroom when I had to take a shit.
funymunky ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:36:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
It's 3:30 AM, I have a Chem test at 8:00 AM, and I'm laying here eating oreos and reading Reddit, having studied for a total of about 20 minutes. And this isn't even the laziest thing I've done this week.
VanhamCanuckspurs ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:36:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing I can think of was one morning when I was still in bed, I called my parents (who were downstairs) from my phone to see what time I had to get up to go to whatever we were doing that day.
hachiko007 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:38:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I shit my pants while simultaneously while peeing down my leg so I didn't have to go to the toilet. I shook the turds down my leg on top of the cat so they stuck to it's hair. I had a bible close so I eventually wiped my ass with pages from it (the only good use of the bible). I ran out of zigzags so ripping pages from the bible to roll with was an added bonus.
stormtrooper1701 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:40:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once played some Doom instead of doing a report. Then when I was in Doom I was too lazy to do the levels properly so I noclipped through half the game.
VoiceOfGosh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:08:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Meant to grab my phone and wallet from upstairs before leaving, grabbed 4 chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen instead. Decided to drive away with no belongings whatsoever. Worked out though cuz I left my bag with everything in my car the night before because
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:10:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Read a full 850+ page novel while having gastro on the toilet.
Sammich_please ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:10:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My old mattress was on plywood, flipped it over and it was full of splinters. Too lazy to get a sheet I slept on them.
freckles88 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:10:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Text my OH whilst in bed requesting a cup of tea be brought to me. He was in the next room.
MightyThorgasm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:11:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
litewolf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:11:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This
QuarantaSette ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:14:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This comment
Nico777 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:24:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was... nah nevermind.
mitch243 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:44:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
K
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:58:42 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not finish off a sen.........
daly_05 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:17:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My life.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:19:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I'm so lazy that i don't finish my
GhostRadio ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:19:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
colonelboots ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:20:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was gonna explain the laziest thing I'd ever done, but I couldn't be bothered.. so this comment.
745631258978963214 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:20:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This comment. Gold. Lazy but works.
chutneypunch ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:21:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This
JimmySavillesMum ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:21:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
A one wipe poo
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:21:43 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I started reading the first comment and was too lazy to finish.
shikabane ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:25:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my housemates didn't want to cook on a friday night, so we decided to get a take out. I was ordering online and was talking to all of them through Facebook, finding out what they want to eat.
poerisija ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:25:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I had the most brilliant lazy story that would net me thousands of karma, but I'm too lazy to post it.
Varront ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:42:26 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not upvoting or bothering to reply
enternamepls ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:42:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Still can't be bother to finish a
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:47:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My friend is asking me to post this on his behalf because he doesn't want to have to log in
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:58:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not show up to this thread until it's in the 5k range. Ugh, so much lost karma that I don't care about.
wsaadman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:09:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was laying down on my bed, bored as f*ck so i decided to play some Uncharted 2. I picked up the controller from the shelf next to my bed, turned my playstation on... and then i realised that in order to play the game i would have to actually get up and put the disc into my console. I turned everything off, and went back to sleep.
ValdemarSt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:09:52 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is the lazy one. My room is in the basement, while the rest of the family lives upstairs. So whenever my mom wants to tell me something or ask me something SHE CALLS ME instead of walking down the stairs to talk.
Sukiii ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:27:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I stay up for 24+ hours because I'm too lazy to sleep
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:48:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty late, but I may just take the cake.
Once, I was playing a game on my iPod, right? Well, I got so lazy that keeping my eyes in focus was too much effort, so I just let them wander and went cross eyed, I didn't have the drive to re-focus them.
Donald_R_French ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:05:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I piss in the bathroom sink because it is penis-height and I can just let it flop, aiming in the toilet is too much work.
recently stopped because wife was complaining that the bathroom smelled like piss
Killpoverty ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:40:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Posted a petition to help people who aren't working.
http://petitions.moveon.org/sign/establish-a-basic-income
SillyPlants ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:52:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Everything involving the military since I got back from Afghanistan in August of 2011. I stopped giving a shit about everything related to my job. Luckily I'm out in a few months ;)
captain_binoculars ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:06:44 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I just downloaded Firefox because Youtube keeps making my Chrome crash. I am too lazy to solve the problem and will use Firefox solely for Youtube until someone else diagnoses the problem.
Pissedtuna ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:07:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
To lazy to wear a condom. Thank god I don't have any kids
Bernkastel-Kues ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:07:51 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
There is a box of crap I move from my bed to my computer chair and vise versa every day because I'm too lazy to take it to the shed outside.
I_HOPE_YOU_ALL_DIE ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:11:17 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This makes no sense. If it was the laziest I most likely didn't do it.
deathsythe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:25:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)*
Either Lisa or Sarah...
Edit- Oh Lazy... I read crazy...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:26:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was a supervisor at my last job. I watched Fresh Prince all day and had my subordinates tote all my paperwork around.
Anonymous3891 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:47:11 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I bought about $3000 in computer parts and didn't assemble it until 2 years later. I still haven't installed the ~$700 in water-cooling parts for it yet.
adamatik ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:14:49 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
In college, my roommate and I threw out our vacuum cleaner instead of vacuuming the apartment.
TheBozofBilly ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:15:37 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was round a friends place for an allnighter. I put my pizza box on the floor, and plan to eat it later when im not in the middle of something, I get hungry but i couldn't be bothered to reach down to grab pizza, I just lower the seat down and grab a slice.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:17:45 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Ummmmmm it's more like the laziest thing I've never done and I didn't even do it
Bond4141 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:26:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I spent an hour in math class making new formulas that skipped a few steps.
notatallawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:20 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe that's not so much lazy as it efficiency for future use?
Bond4141 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Lazyness is just extreme efficiency.
craznazn247 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:32:39 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
While taking the ACT, which I had spent months preparing for back in high school, I decided I was too lazy to stay for the writing portion, and chose to have it omitted.
I got a cumulative score of 34, which is 99.9 percentile. (1 in 30,000 people get a 34 or higher), but most of my colleges I ended up applying to required a writing score.
Ended up delaying my college applications and stressing out about it for 2 months, and then re-taking a 4 hour test because I was too lazy to do the last 30-minute section.
Jaguar_u ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:42:22 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was passing through a street with some friends really boozed (i think that is implied) and discovered that there was a wedding comming on in a church nearby .. we wait the right moment until the priest said the magic words came in like a pro and yelled DONT MARRY THAT BITCH! and then say Just kidding and run the fuck away cause five dudes where chasing us to beat the crap out of us
Henshin_A_JoJo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
What does this have to do with being lazy?
Jaguar_u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:08 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I read .. craziest .. TT.TT anyway does tell you bf to scratch my balls while im eating cheetos count as lazy?
ico2ico2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:50:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I once turned down sex because she told me she had work in the morning and I'd have to leave by 8AM.
literally, her: "Come back to mine and fuck me, but I have work in the morning so you've gotta leave by 8AM". me: "it's been a pleasure to meet you, I wish you all the best in life, goodbye".
๐๏ธ Luithien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Good decision.
masterqueso ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:32:28 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Considered not even commenting because I didn't want to have to type...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:53:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i was camping with 5 friends, and it rained really hard the first night we where there. we got there late the evening prior and didnt have time to set up a good rain guard, so we where forced to do it around 5am. after getting everything settled, we managed to leave a 4-5 foot overhang in front of our tent, sort of like a porch. one friend pulls out his bag of weed, and not having smoked in a while, most of us where floored after a few whacks at it. flash foreward five hours, and we are in the same chairs, none of us having moved in hours. these kids where riding around the campground all morning, doing lap after lap. eventually i say "man, these kids need a job; this is like the 100th time they've rode past us." a slight hum of agreement came from the gaggle of us, and then after a moment of silence i began to laugh. they all look at me and i simply explain: "i'm sitting here talking shit about little kids because they've been riding their bikes all morning, and yet here i am, stoned and having not been able to move for over 5 hours now" we all had a great laugh over this; and continued to sit and waste away the day
TLDR; i got super stoned and made fun of small children
bubut ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:44:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Remoting into my PC in the other room to turn it off.
SSH'ing into my router to reboot it because it was on a shelf ~3 ft away.
Bukowskaii ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:48:54 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
TheEthalea ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:08:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Texted my boyfriend to bring me a blanket and wrap me in it while he was 25 feet away in the living room instead of getting up and getting it myself.
rocketchaco ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:16:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nutted on my self in bed and used my blanket as a source of warmth/giant towel.
lereddit9gag ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:42:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
itt: life hacks
TheLessPopularView ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:44:01 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. Literally nothing.
Devil777 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:54:59 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this
Josephdirte ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:56:18 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I've learned to pick up almost anything with my toes, especially women
amorousCephalopod ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:15:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Sat on my ass for the past 2 months, only getting up to use the restroom.
I'm bored as fuck.
neverdeadned ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:19:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This is really late, but I have to share at least a snippet of a convo i had with one of my friends about a week ago. (she lives 3 hours away)
dulcebebejesus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:26:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
dulcebebejesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That post right there.
annoyingpurple ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I... eh, good enough
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:02:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Used my foot orthotic support insert as an ashtray when I didn't feel like getting off the couch.
Puffthecarrier1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:03:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but someone else.
Back in high school, me, my friend, and some other guy were assigned a science project assigned on Atoms. The teacher gave directions that all 3 of us in the groups would be graded equally so we had to do our best.
My friend and I worked really hard doing our part but our partner wasn't really doing much. He just sat there browsing his fucking iPhone most of the time we were doing actual work. We got pissed off because of this and we threatened to take his phone and smash it if he didn't do any work. He finally complied and came up with an idea that we should incorporate a powerpoint into our project and he said he would do it.
We worked endless time on this project and finally presentation came. That day, we presented most of our work and got to the end when our partner presented his powerpoint. Here's how it goes: His powerpoint looks good so far. His title looks nice and the next page describes an accurate description of atoms. Here's the thing though. The next slide features a video in which he took from some chemistry show featuring the atomic process. After the video ended, so did the powerpoint. Me and my friend have a blank look after as he sat down like it was gold. So basically what he did he just did a title and incorporated a show he filmed on his TV.
Teacher gave us a 75 on the project. We were angry at our partner for just filming a show. How lazy could he get? We could've done a whole lot better had he created a normal fucking powerpoint like everyone else in the school. I still can't believe we got a C on that project just because of that guy.
TL;DR: We bombed a project because this kid just video taped a show rather than putting effort into the project.
Mattgoodson ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:05:13 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
penblala ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:57:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
.
Dr-Wolf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:59:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
Lee_Crab_of_Dinocity ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:04:06 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I almost didn't comment on this, so there's that.
cocoderojo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:04:07 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was too lazy to buy advanced tickets to the movie The Dark Knight. The movie theater we wanted to go to was at Century 16 and good thing it sold out. The second time laziness saved my ass (literally... it was really unfortunate that someone I "knew" secondhandedly had a bullet shot through one ass cheek to another) was when my friend and I were too lazy to go to the finish line of the Boston Marathon and only stuck around at Kenmore Square otherwise...who knows what would have happened. There are times when laziness pays off.
UniqueSnoop ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:10:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I actually have a story but I'm too lazy to tell you all about it
crusty_undewear ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:31:38 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
thedrug ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:35:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time, I slowed my roll so another person could press the disabled button to open the automatic door.
crazy_shrink ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:44:55 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Had a newborn so obviously I was sleep deprived . Sticked my finger in the diaper to check for poop.
Simply_Wumbology ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:19:20 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Really late here, but I can't get this one's great. There was popular tv show everyone liked to watch. It was about a dysfunctional family and their talking pet dog. It had been running since 1999. The shows creator one day decided that the dog was no longer an important part of the show. So instead of having an elaborate scene to explain the loss of the god, he simply has the dog get hit by a car. It totally sucked.
ArnoldPeckland ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:59:26 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
w0lfpack150 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:32:32 on November 27, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Was drunk once potty too far away found my wife a suitable substitute happened 3 yimes now.... Havent figured out y this perfect woman loves me
smellaroma ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:33:17 on November 30, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once I... forget it.
arcedup ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:40:02 on December 2, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd started as a graduate engineer in the steel mill along with a couple of other people and at that time, the meltshop offices were in this demountable with really thin walls, and we're all known for being loud. So one day the mechanical engineer graduate needs to ask the technical superintendent a question, but instead of getting up and walking the 10 meters to his officeโฆ he rings him instead. And I'm just sitting at my desk, listening to the super answer his phone in his office, then the graduate ask his question, just waiting for itโฆ
"DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING DO THAT AGAIN, YOU HEAR?! WE'RE IN THE SAME FUCKING BUILDING, YOU CAN FUCKING WELL WALK TO MY OFFICE!"
And the super keeps bellowing for another half a minute - and everyone in the demountable can hear him - as we're rolling around laughing our heads off.
CaptShutIn ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:53:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Made my wife walk a mile back home instead of not getting drunk and picking her up in the mid afternoon. All the time.
The_Bullshit_Police_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:19 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
ddddddddddddddddddddddddddd <that
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
On a regular basis I eat breakfast at midnight because I'm too lazy to go upstairs. Can anyone else relate?
RepostFrom4chan ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:40 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
garbonzo607 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I still haven't finished middle school at 19 because I kept procrastinating doing my 8th grade work playing games and shit. You may say I have pretty shitty parents, but they're busy and they don't care as much because I'm making tons of money online doing my own thing. They did try to remind me every single day and threaten me with public school every day, but never followed through.
I really am lucky though because I became a video game developer directly do to this, instead of doing school work 90% of which I will never use in life, I learned coding and game design and such so I don't have to work in retail for 10 years of my life.
Herdus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:36 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
This one time I put a f
swagmaster1 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 02:23:53 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
i have my own bathroom, and a bottle a keep my desk to piss and cum in through out the day
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:50:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:42:30 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
That's kind of the exact opposite.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
what
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:47 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Bought a movie on demand because I didn't feel like going into the next room and looking for the DVD of the same movie in the vast pile of DVDs I have.
Monky978 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:41 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
this
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. Too lazy to finish thought.
WallyDaWalrus ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 04:25:50 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
browse reddit daily
poop_tooth ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:12:10 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One time.. Ah fuck it I'm goin to bed
Shadowarchr ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:14:14 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Not completing ths sente
demidemo ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:15 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to finish this senten
Bigbrianj ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:06:35 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Once, I st
outrageousbog ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 06:20:00 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One day I pl...
DogcalledDomino ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 08:02:23 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
called my mom and told her to get home from the dentist so she could hand me the tv remote which was 5 feet away
Jeffrey_The_Gecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:27 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
BU-BU-BU-BULLLLLLLLSHIIIIIIIIT
chefdano3 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 04:12:16 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
your mom
MarioLovesYou ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 11:48:46 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Surfing Reddit all day.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:49:59 on December 16, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say scamming is up there
donfredo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:29:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing
ImaScotMan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:34:12 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Feeling stiff in the morning so I used the pitching wedge in my closet to pull up my pants.
xmonox ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:09:02 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:15:34 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I was on a stag/ bachelor party with some friends in a Spanish resort and on the second day we were feeling a little fragile after the excesses of the night before. Anyway, we started drinking with the rest of the guys but myself and 2 friends decided that we didn't want to go to the bar. (We didn't mind paying our way but just didn't want to move. Plus the round involved 15+ drinks).
We then positioned ourselves in the first bar so we were blocked in so we could legitimately ask someone else to go to the bar with our money. This lasted 4 hours before we moved bars.
At each bar we managed to find a reason to just sit on our asses while a combination of our friends and innocent bar staff ran around after us.
We never missed a round but more importantly we went a total of 16 hours not moving from our seats to go to the bar.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:17:33 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
I lived in a flat with my wife and the place to put the garbage was a 50 meter walk from the front door. So I put them in the back of the car to drive down. Problem was I didn't bother making that trip for two weeks and drove around with this stinking trash in the back.OH was not best pleased.
NoTalkenKeepWalken ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:00:25 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Take a piss in the glass I kept next to my bed because I was too lazy to get up to go to the toilet. I had this disgusting habit for a few months
r0w4nH10 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:12:58 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young (25 years ago) for xmas I asked for a tv with a remote control so I could watch tv in bed and not have to get up to switch it off. I only got a normal TV and my dad being a fellow procrastinator saw my disappointment made me remote control using a long piece of bamboo with pointing glove filled with polyfiller. It was brilliant as now I didnโt just have a remote control for my TV but also my stereo, my door, the curtains etc. Bit tricky sometimes but it was the best present ever!
pirho1155 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:40:32 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
One bathroom in my house and its upstairs. I peed in the sink.
MohammedWaffles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:44:31 on November 26, 2013 ยท (Permalink)
Little late but, I once stayed at a friends house a week straight. Sat on the couch in the basement and either played PS3/Xbox or went on the internet. Never went home, talked to my parents probably once in those 7 days. I don't think we even left the house. All we ate was dominos pizza. For 7 straight days. Probably the laziest time to have occurred in my life.