tirril · 178 points · Posted at 00:43:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That question is so easy to answer. Ofcourse its the 100 duck sized horses. What can small horses do to you? Nothing, nibble or kick shins. What can a horse sized duck do? Snap your head off with its beak,
100 duck sized horses would add up to some amount of horsepower that a human could not overpower. They could just surround you until you fall then trample you until you suffocate. Even the power from one horse is pretty impressive compared to humans when they are normal sized.
But you fail to consider that ducks have a gigantic corkscrew penis covered in barbs that they use to rape their enemies to death. It can be nearly the length of their body, and if you scale that to horse size, i think anybody would prefer the trampling.
Well one "humanpower" is more forceful than one "horsepower" humans are stronger than horses given the strength-to-weight ratio. A 1000 lbs horse can only carry about 20% of its body weight, thats only 200 lbs. If we use the same stats, a 200 lbs man carrying 20% of his body weight is only carrying 40 lbs. So it would seem that humans are ratio wise stronger than horses. Thus, 100 duck sized horses would be like fighting 100 toddlers who can't do much.
I understand this reference! It's originally based on the amount of work a brewery horse can do in an hour! I don't think it would equate in this instance in the way you laid out...
From a quick google search, average weight of a malard duck is 1.6-3.5 pounds. Average weight of a horse is anywhere from 840-2200. That means we're talking like 300 pounds max worth of mini horses, or one 1500 pound flying, beaking, penis-corkscrewing death bird. I'll take the horses.
Can't really tell if you're joking or not, considering the ridiculousness of this wonderful age-old question, but the horses would be lined up and only a fraction would be able to interact with you at any given time. I think a desperate human could win pretty easily. Horses getting under you and making you fall is definitely a worry as you mention, but you could just get back up. I think the biggest danger is blood loss to a bunch of bites.
Need to go rethink my life after seriously thinking about this question though ...
Wrong dude! You'd be overrun in a stampede of little angry boulders. Ducks have hollow bones so it weighs as much as a tiny rock and you can build a bridge out of it
But if they're bloodlusted, a hundred small horses at once could easily knock you over and completely obliterate you. However, a giant duck would also be terribly dangerous, as its beak would be huge and spiky and it would have a lot more muscle than you're imagining. Definitely couldn't "break its neck".
Now, if you were given a sword, then I would definitely face the duck. One slash against his neck and he's done for.
No way. Horses are much stronger than ducks. 100 of 'em would jump and kick at you from every angle; you can't take them all at once. Whereas a giant duck is a single target.
Plus, you can use the duck meat afterward. And you wouldn't feel bad about killing 100 relatively intelligent mammals.
Square-cube law. A duck scaled up to horse size wouldn't be able to stand, let alone fight. Horses scaled down to duck size would have ridiculous strength, enough to jump up to the height of your head and kick you with the force of a bullet.
yattyc · 1 points · Posted at 02:11:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
But then I remember zefrank1's video about the duck and I think about a normal sized duck having a 9" corkscrew dick and suddenly a horse sized duck is even that much more terrifying.
5bi5 · 25 points · Posted at 00:32:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I asked my guy this. "That's a good question," he said, and then pondered it. He's still pondering...I think he's decided on a horse-sized duck, but only if you're allowed to have a weapon. (I told him he could have a pointy stick.)
[deleted] · 29 points · Posted at 00:54:09 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'd rather fight a horse sized duck. They dont have teeth and pretty weak jaws, they have a skinny neck, and only have two non muscle enforced legs. If I can take out a knee, the thing is going down and I can hop on it's back without worrying about getting bit too bad and strangle that fucker.
It's a horse sized duck. It's quack would be louder than the quack of a normal duck. Same with the duck sized horses they would neigh, but it would sound like they ingested helium.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 01:12:26 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
hes but it's got legs meant for running and kicking, not flying and swimming. It's got a beak that's built for crushing and slicing, not one meant for rooting around in the mud and eating bread crumbs.
Would you rather fight 100 fuck sized horses or one horse sized fuck?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:08:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
horse sized dick
rillaz · 1 points · Posted at 01:55:55 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Just successfully spawned a full-blown family argument over this age old question. Thank you.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:56:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
If you scale down a horse to duck size, they would have tremendous jumping power relative to their body mass. This would also contribute to incredible speed and agility. A determined pack of 100 would pulverize you with an unrelenting storm of small, hard, piercing hoofs. The reduced surface area of their horny hoofs would be scaled along with their compacted body size, which would result in no real net loss in contact pressure compared to a regular horse. Their attacks would remain effective, even individual attacks, in bruising and tearing flesh. Combine the attacks of 100 of these miniature hellbeasts, and you face certain death in minutes. Defending yourself against such an onslaught is unfeasible, even armed with a chainsaw or light machine gun, or both, they will simply overwhelm you.
Best question ever. I want to get it tattooed on my lower back.
S4mmyK · 1 points · Posted at 02:11:26 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Then round off the discussion about how it is actually an analogy about tackling one large problem or lots of smaller ones both of which have the potential to overwhelm you.
creators can and are often wrong. "in the beginning, god created the universe. this made a lot of people very angry and has widely been regarded as a bad decision."
This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy. It was created to help protect users from doxing, stalking, and harassment.
Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, scroll down as far as possibe (hint:use RES), and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.
Also, please consider using an alternative to Reddit - political censorship is unacceptable.
In English pronunciation is completely regional. If most people in your region say a word a certain way, then that's the correct way to pronounce it in that region. And when someone pronounces a word "wrongly", it usually just means that they have an accent that's distinct from the accents of their neighbors.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 14:25:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
But you're saying that the g in gif MUST be pronounced like the g in giraffe, rather than like the g in give. My point was that there is no authority that makes that determination, so neither can be said to be "right" or "wrong".
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:23:30 on June 26, 2016 · (Permalink)
You can continue to assert that all you like, but that won't make it true. Have fun being the nerdy guy who tries to correct everyone's pronunciation of gif for the rest of your life.
i just got the thumbs-up-the-planet-thingy tattoed on me! i love those books. i thought the movie was super rad too. and the old tv series. haven't listened to the radio show though. but yeah, one of my favorites.
Honestly I wasn't paying close enough attention and completely missed your point about the word graphic. I though you were trying to say that there was only one 'g' sound. My b.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:57:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Mariulo · -3 points · Posted at 01:04:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
Do you pronounce GEMA (Gas and Electricity Markets Authority) with a hard G? When you read an acronym, normal rules apply. Before i,e, or y, it's a soft g.
Mariulo · -1 points · Posted at 02:05:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
Space_is_infinite's point was that you should pronounce Gif with a hard G because it stands for Graphical. But GEMA is an acronym that starts with a soft G, yet a G that stands for Gas.
You mean your point? Forgot to log into your alt lol.
I get the point and there are areas where your rule isn't followed like "guyn" for "GYN" but I think "gif" isn't seen as "jiff" because 1) two "ffffffss" are a mouthful and not catchy at all 2) "JIF" is a thing already. I'm fairly sure there are acronym pronunciations guided against the fact that others having taken that sound.
No, he was saying that there are rules for acronyms. That before i, e or y, an acronym carries a soft g. Which is one of the most bullshit things I've read in a long time.
I'm thinking of calling the Gestapo on him, or maybe sending him to the gulag. Either way, in terms of /r/iamverysmart submissions, he's in the running for GOAT.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 01:18:59 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Give, get, etc, are part of the exceptions, as are several words of Germanic origin. I know it might be weird to have a "rule" not apply to every case, but as far as languages are concerned, it's pretty much always like that. A general rule that applies to almost everything, and a small number of exceptions. These exceptions however are due to the way language evolved and borrowed from other languages following different rules. And no, Gif is not part of the exceptions as it is a modern construct.
Sorry I made the counter argument to another person and I never got a reply back. I just want people to be able to admit they're wrong, or at least have consistency and sound like total idiots when they say the word scuba.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:44:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Lol that's exactly how I feel when I hear jif. But really scuba is just fun to say. I'll probably still call jphegs jpegs, but I mean come on...
So, what, do you like peanut butter and gelly sandwiches, too? Or how about video games with super awesome jraphics? Oh, or maybe you're too busy banging all your jirlfriends to notice this comment.
Do you stand, or sit when you wipe your ass? You see, the are two kinds of people and they don't know the other group even exists. Crazy, right?.. Right?
I'm the perfect level of drunk for this. The worst one was right in the beginning, "what if spiders were made of bigger spiders" because then I think it's like spiders for infinity. It's spiders all the way down.
it's becoming a reality for me actually. i trapped a pregnant spider in my house the other day and she laid her eggs. i have a mini terrarium filled with spider and spider eggs. when they hatch it, in their world, it will be all spiders.
i'm a phony but it is a great comment. probably my favorite copypasta as well. kinda surprised no one else recognized it, especially since the comment i replied to was the title of the thread it's from haha.
Dude, that's the worst! Nothing like staring at some chick's ass and breaking your femur. Plus there were a few times in puberty I almost had to have it amputated from cutting off the circulation to my leg.
Who the fuck wears fedoras anymore lol??? Trilbies offer much more class.
Alarid · 71 points · Posted at 00:06:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Trilbies are the jackdaws of fedoras.
Orimos · 45 points · Posted at 00:18:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Here's the thing. You said a "trilby is a fedora."
Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that.
As someone who is a scientist who studies fedoras, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls trilbies fedoras. If you wanted to be "specific" like you said then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 00:23:40 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Here's the thing. You said a "trilby is a fedora."
Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that.
As someone who is an atheist who studies euphoria, I am telling you, specifically, in atheism, no one calls trilbys fedoras. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you should too. They're not the same thing.
If you're saying "fedora family" you're referring to the euphoric grouping of le reddit army, which includes things from neckbearded gentlesirs to highly intelligent intellectual like myself.
So your reasoning for calling a trilby a fedora is because random people "say that only neckbeards wear fedoras?" Let's get Mountain Dew and Doritos in there, then, too.
Also, calling someone a redditor or a gentlesir? It's not one or the other, that's not how karma works. They're both. A trilby is a trilby and a member of the fedora family. But that's not what you said. You said a trilby is a fedora, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of le reddit army gentlesirs, which means you'd call neckbeards, intellectuals, and other maymays based, too. Which you said you don't.
It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
Orimos · 2 points · Posted at 01:59:59 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in millinery and I’ve been involved in numerous secret sewing parties, and I have over 300 hats. I am trained in designing and I’m the top designer in the entire US Milliner's Guild. You are nothing to me but just another customer. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision trimming the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the best damn hat you've ever seen, maggot. The hat that covers the pathetic little thing you call your head. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can make hats seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in trimming, but I have access to the entire stock at Goorin Bros. and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hairline off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
He would pop into discussions, often about nature or assorted science-y stuff, and give pretty great explanations as to how things worked. For those curious people who love to soak up mountains of useless knowledge, he was fantastic. You got to learn a little something about how the world/nature worked. They were happy times.
Then there was an argument about birds. Some things about specificity... it was a very lame argument...BUT .. it was discovered that unidan's answers were being boosted while his detractors were being downvoted, just about equally. People investigated and it was found out that unidan was using alt accounts to boost his answers and downvote the opposition. In the reddit algorithm, those first few votes can change everything. Reddit loved their nature god unidan.... but reddit does not like to be deceived.. and when they turn, even gods can be destroyed..
Here's the thing.... I'm bored and now you're in the loop.
***all to the best of my recollection as a mere casual redditor.
It wasn't the quote itself, it was that Unidan was using puppet accounts to upvote himself and down vote others. This is the post that got him busted by the admins.
It wasn't that argument specifically, it was that that argument was what brought out the fact that he had a bunch of alternate accounts he was using to upvote himself and downvote others.
I don't think there was ever outrage that he was arguing jackdaw/crow terminology, or even that he was being a bit dickish about it. But that just happened to be the thread where the admins first spotted that he was using a bunch of sock-puppet accounts to upvote his own posts and comments, and to downvote people who disagreed with him.
Orimos · 2 points · Posted at 00:37:11 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yes.
But also I think it was just that the jackdaw/crow posts coincided with when the vote manipulation was revealed.
He had a bunch of alts he was using to manipulate the outcome of the argument. Also he was a trusted portion of the hivemind, so people followed him blindly. And he was wrong. So everyone felt a little silly about it.
This is for all you stupid fucking trolls and haters online, saying mean and hurtful things about fedoras. Well guess what, they roll harder than you, dipshits. You don't know fucking anything about this hat, idiots. Quite frankly I think you're just jealous ass haters, because you couldn't even pull off this look. You couldn't even wear a fedora if your lives depended on it, because you know what? It's class. And class is for men and swag is for boys. But you wouldn't know shit about that, fucking haters. This hat is for what cool people wear, and you can't figure it out. You sit there online on your fucking websites and state bullshit about it, but guess what? It's just a hat, and you're not cool enough to wear it. So next time think before you do "trolling". I emplore you to do a little thinking if that's even possible for you. To think before you do fucking hating on fedoras. They're just a hat, and you're just a stupid swag idiot. You think swag is so cool, but guess what? It's just for boys, and class is for men. This is class. That's all i got to say to you stupid ass haters and bullshit bully trolls. You don't know shit, you don't know fashion, you don't know anything about this world if you keep saying bullshit jokes. I know you're just trying to be stupid and ass funny but it's not fucking funny. Get the fuck offline if you're gonna keep saying this bullshit, keep spamming it out of your stupid ass keyboards, that probably aren't even mechanical. Listen, log off idiots, you don't know shit. You stupid swag, you don't know shit and I dare you to say one more fucking joke and I'll slit your throat neck. Anyway, that's it haters. See ya later, fucking idiots.
I'd go try to have a hopefully less than awkward chat with his Secret Service detail until he decides to leave on his own accord. Never talk about it ever again because nobody would believe me, just like Bill Murray.
pwaz · 1 points · Posted at 01:16:56 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The shy guy starts dating this hot girl but runs out of things to talk about. His internet friends help him to overcome it and he ends up being the most funny and simpatic guy in the group
Then, after a long love, they Marry, and in the honeymoon, there is no Wi-Fi
Unfortunately many people tend to tell jokes that they arleady hear, I always try to be original and even never repeat the same joke to other person that's why many times I make a very stupid jokes because it's hard to think of something new all the time.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 02:04:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I just actually googled it. I wanna vomit now. Or maybe cry.
I have a computer science teacher right now who's pushing "passive voice is useless" and crap like that. The worst is the "put periods inside quotation marks" crap.
See, I would just take it as a sign that they were nervous and needed to go splash some water on their face and breathe or something. I doesn't always have to be drugs
If there was a specific thread do you happen to know which one it was?
[deleted] · 341 points · Posted at 00:04:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I started with: "Do you collect anything?" She said she collects teabags from all around the world but refuses to buy them online and absolutely has to get them herself, so she is traveling a lot. Then I asked her which countries she had visited in her life. This alone was food for a loooong conversation.
Then I remembered another question that was on there that was about traveling. "Have you ever been shocked at something that was normal in the country you were visiting?" Then she mentioned a place (I forgot which one) she visited that had an atrocious smell and then we discussed our favorite smells, and I mentioned one that reminded me of my granny (lavender, I always picked some lavenders from her garden to take home) and then we were reminiscing about our childhood and the most memorable things that happened to us back then which filled another hour and a half or so.
So looking back, I only used like 2 questions from Askreddit but if it wasn't for that, this could have turned out way different. At one point, my mind went completely blank and I couldn't come up with anything, followed by an awkward and long moment of silence that made me so nervous I just excused myself to the bathroom, where I later got the idea. :D I love reddit!!!
drteq · 608 points · Posted at 00:08:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
She said she collects teabags from all around the world
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[deleted] · 148 points · Posted at 00:16:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
That's actually a pretty good idea. Also sounds like a pretty long date. That's a good indication that she was intersted.
[deleted] · 59 points · Posted at 00:17:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yeah, this has actually been the best date I've ever been on. Let's hope the next round will be as good. :)
My mind going blank was due to being nervous, but thanks to the reddit questions and the really good conversation they lead to, I felt a lot more at ease so chances are that by the next round I'll be a bit better at coming up with things to talk about myself. :D
ecu11b · 38 points · Posted at 00:27:50 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I hope she is reading all this. If she is then you have a 50 50 shot if she likes you even more or is pissed off
I'd say more likely to like him more. If it was just him asking a shitton of questions he found here it'd be one thing, but he just used a few as conversation starters. Nothing wrong with that.
"What questions should I ask on my second date? [Serious]" isn't exactly coming up with stuff on your own, but it is a step in the right direction at least.
It's a doubly good idea because people tend to talk about themselves too much on dates IMO. Asking questions and listening to answers shows you're interested in your date, not just in making yourself look good.
Even though your mind went blank for a bit, it sounds like you did a fantastic job at expanding on the questions/topics, her answers, etc. That's a super valuable skill.
Sounds like a memorable and good first date...congrats
Moal · 1 points · Posted at 02:00:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Aww, you guys already sound so cute together. Hope your future dates with her go just as well!
Renyx · 1 points · Posted at 02:07:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Sounds like you did most of the work on your own. Glad it went well for you. I've never been on a "normal" first date so I would probably fail miserably if I didn't do something similar.
One horse-sized duck if it just got scaled up by a rebigulator. Its caridovascular system and skeletal system wouldn't be able to handle the larger size and it would die of low blood pressure as its bones snapped. Basically, I'd win just by showing up.
Now, if science actually bred a horse-sized duck on the other hand....
I've attempted to do this before, by looking at a few top posts before a date. TBF I usually don't run out of things to say, though, so I never had to actually bring any of them up (taking a few shots before I go out definitely makes me pretty chatty).
Here's a great game to play with r/askreddit to keep a conversation going. It's kind of like "Family Feud"
You read a question like "What is your favorite "Bad guy wins" movie" and everyone gets ONE guess at what the top answer will be. Then you read the top answers and see who did the best. That often leads into a long conversation about people's opinion. But if things get quiet again, just repeat.
Here's a tip, when having a conversation with somebody new, ask probing questions that cannot be answered by a simple one word answer. This will allow them to say something more about themselves which will give you the ability to ask follow up questions. The goal is to ask enough follow up questions in order to stumble on to a common interest. This eventually leads to dialog between both of you. Two sided conversations are key. Another tip, if you ask a probing question, be prepared to answer that question yourself. Most people will answer your question, and then ask you the same in return. This is because either they subconsciously are hoping the conversation is going in a direction they are comfortable with, or they want the conversation to keep going. If they don't ask for you the same question, DO NOT interject your pre-thought out answer. If you do this, they will assume you were simply waiting for them to stop talking instead of listening to them. Asking a follow up question related to the topic or to something they said will show them you listened.
Let me guess...
- What do you hate, but everyone loves?
- what TV show was canceled too soon/too far.
- what movie do you love that everyone hates?
- something something movie quote something something everyone.
- hypothetical situation, something something... weird twist.
Am I right, or am I right, or am I right?
Bring back memories of when I was in highschool and I would write down conversation topics to a girl I liked... That lasted 2 minutes until I ran out of things to talk about. I'm going to go cry now.
daftne · 1 points · Posted at 01:04:39 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I actually spend a lot of time reading ask reddit to my bf for good discussion material. I'll ask him the question and that will fuel us for a good while. Other times we will have a pretty good time as I read other people's responses to him (he doesn't reddit).
This is a great idea (though I guess it could get weird if one of you asks an overall personal question). I've historically just incessantly talk about myself because I never know what to ask people.
CRISPR · 1 points · Posted at 01:45:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What if I tell you that she went online too when you were absent and she knew your user name, and she fed you the answers and the questions. She played you like a fool, lucky bastard fool.
What question did you use? The "what's the weirdest good you can't believe people eat" or the one about "the funniest thing that ever happened to you during sex" or how about "the freakiest shit that gets you off" question
Orc_ · 1 points · Posted at 01:46:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
oh yea that askreddit about exes is a totally ladykiller
Sweet! Reddit pulling through for some random dude trying to find a relationship. There should be a subreddit for this kind of gentle work....perhaps r/hitch?
I had my first road trip with my then gf, now wife once. I was terrified we would run out of topics and brought questions from the board game Loaded questions. Only needed a few for conversation starters. Never needed em again since.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 02:28:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's right, none of you people are interesting enough to hold a conversation with. So you go straight to the internet to tell you how to act.
Holy shit, we are doomed to be drones. All hail the NWO where we are owned by one corporation and dress and act the same and think the same thing because cat pics say so.
First date fallback is always talk about them. People love the sound of their own voice and topics about themselves, especially women. Talk about other things or something they arent involved in and watch the eyes glaze over. If you talk about yourself and they pay attention or even followup, it means they have potential interest otherwise they would be on their phones instagramming and facebooking instead.
I didn't say the post had anything to do with you. I'm saying your generalization of women is false. It's not a general fact that women will start facebooking or instagramming if you're not letting them talk about themselves or they aren't interested romantically. If that's your experience, then you're dating the wrong people. People with even a modicum of human decency will engage with the other person whether or not they're interested. They may not want another date, but they'll treat the other person with courtesy until the date is over.
Maybe I'm just old, but the thought of playing with my phone when someone -ANYONE- is talking to me is incomprehensible. Unless I they're complete asshats and the message I intend to convey is 'fuck off', and even then, hopefully I'd be less passive aggressive about it.
[deleted] · -6 points · Posted at 00:16:37 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Saved comment
Coosaw · 4263 points · Posted at 21:55:42 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
How many times a day do you jack off?
How long would it take you to eat a full sized door?
[deleted] · 1363 points · Posted at 22:56:56 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
snotbag_pukebucket · 716 points · Posted at 00:24:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses or one horse sized duck?
Duck-of-Doom · 277 points · Posted at 00:30:08 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's the key question.
tirril · 178 points · Posted at 00:43:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That question is so easy to answer. Ofcourse its the 100 duck sized horses. What can small horses do to you? Nothing, nibble or kick shins. What can a horse sized duck do? Snap your head off with its beak,
Scavenger53 · 74 points · Posted at 00:59:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
100 duck sized horses would add up to some amount of horsepower that a human could not overpower. They could just surround you until you fall then trample you until you suffocate. Even the power from one horse is pretty impressive compared to humans when they are normal sized.
Zoo_Snooze · 164 points · Posted at 01:05:43 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
But you fail to consider that ducks have a gigantic corkscrew penis covered in barbs that they use to rape their enemies to death. It can be nearly the length of their body, and if you scale that to horse size, i think anybody would prefer the trampling.
Scavenger53 · 83 points · Posted at 01:07:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Now I don't know... this question is more difficult.
BoerboelBoss · 53 points · Posted at 01:15:43 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
This is actually a great conversation you guys should do it again sometime!
llamasR4life · 1 points · Posted at 01:23:27 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Think of the memes that would be born!
phuckman69 · 1 points · Posted at 01:32:02 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I dont think anything would be born if I was raped by a horse sized duck.
llamasR4life · 1 points · Posted at 01:40:03 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Stories of being raped by a horse-sized duck?
nakedapedude · 1 points · Posted at 01:38:54 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Bruh, do you even reddit?
MyUserNameTaken · 1 points · Posted at 01:49:00 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Is the duck made of rubber?
BABarracus · 1 points · Posted at 02:36:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Horse sized duck will swallow you whole 100 duck sized horses is like fighting squirrels or babbies get tired of fighting just go up high.
kobeeeee · 11 points · Posted at 01:11:51 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
thats my fetish ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
ootter · 3 points · Posted at 01:44:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Cork screw penises, with barbs, the size of a horse size duck... CHECK
natural_distortion · 2 points · Posted at 01:07:59 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Like those little dinosaurs in jurassic park
FlaredApollo · 1 points · Posted at 01:08:06 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
~~~~
Airbatic · 1 points · Posted at 01:12:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Well one "humanpower" is more forceful than one "horsepower" humans are stronger than horses given the strength-to-weight ratio. A 1000 lbs horse can only carry about 20% of its body weight, thats only 200 lbs. If we use the same stats, a 200 lbs man carrying 20% of his body weight is only carrying 40 lbs. So it would seem that humans are ratio wise stronger than horses. Thus, 100 duck sized horses would be like fighting 100 toddlers who can't do much.
Scavenger53 · 2 points · Posted at 01:15:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
With this information and the giant barbed duck penis, maybe 100 tiny horses is not so bad.
sadmadmen · 2 points · Posted at 01:23:22 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
From now on I won't say I'm hung like a horse, now it's hung like a horse sized duck
Burindunsmor · 1 points · Posted at 01:32:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Duckpower
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:37:38 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It would probably be about 20 horse power since they'd been shrunk.
SAGNUTZ · 1 points · Posted at 01:42:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I understand this reference! It's originally based on the amount of work a brewery horse can do in an hour! I don't think it would equate in this instance in the way you laid out...
Scavenger53 · 2 points · Posted at 01:42:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Hopefully we will never know.
rushseeker · 1 points · Posted at 01:52:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
From a quick google search, average weight of a malard duck is 1.6-3.5 pounds. Average weight of a horse is anywhere from 840-2200. That means we're talking like 300 pounds max worth of mini horses, or one 1500 pound flying, beaking, penis-corkscrewing death bird. I'll take the horses.
dutch_penguin · 1 points · Posted at 02:05:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
relevant
Humans can generate more horsepower than 100 duck sized horses.
rmoss20 · 1 points · Posted at 02:17:20 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
How much horsepower does one duck possess?
JustAnotherAardvark · 1 points · Posted at 02:20:44 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Is this a metric thing?
penis_in_my_hand · 1 points · Posted at 02:22:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
But horses aren't as aggressive as ducks and startle pretty easily.
You'd have a much better chance of just yelling and all the tiny horses would scatter than you would of beating Giant Duck in Final Boss Fight.
koticgood · 1 points · Posted at 02:26:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Can't really tell if you're joking or not, considering the ridiculousness of this wonderful age-old question, but the horses would be lined up and only a fraction would be able to interact with you at any given time. I think a desperate human could win pretty easily. Horses getting under you and making you fall is definitely a worry as you mention, but you could just get back up. I think the biggest danger is blood loss to a bunch of bites.
Need to go rethink my life after seriously thinking about this question though ...
roccodai1 · 1 points · Posted at 01:00:14 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
There was a prehistoric duck dubbed "The Demon Duck of Doom" which our ancestors had to face down in Australia.
From the looks of it, that thing was scary as hell.
pHbasic · 1 points · Posted at 01:01:17 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Wrong dude! You'd be overrun in a stampede of little angry boulders. Ducks have hollow bones so it weighs as much as a tiny rock and you can build a bridge out of it
Duck-of-Doom · 1 points · Posted at 01:13:11 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
But if they're bloodlusted, a hundred small horses at once could easily knock you over and completely obliterate you. However, a giant duck would also be terribly dangerous, as its beak would be huge and spiky and it would have a lot more muscle than you're imagining. Definitely couldn't "break its neck".
Now, if you were given a sword, then I would definitely face the duck. One slash against his neck and he's done for.
sadmadmen · 2 points · Posted at 01:25:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
One golf club please, give my best tiger woods impression while taking off tiny horse heads with a nine iron.
lazyplayboy · 1 points · Posted at 01:55:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What if they're all friendly? What then??
Duck-of-Doom · 1 points · Posted at 01:56:54 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Then kill them all!!
JeremyHillaryBoob · 1 points · Posted at 01:30:20 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
No way. Horses are much stronger than ducks. 100 of 'em would jump and kick at you from every angle; you can't take them all at once. Whereas a giant duck is a single target.
Plus, you can use the duck meat afterward. And you wouldn't feel bad about killing 100 relatively intelligent mammals.
lazyplayboy · 1 points · Posted at 01:56:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You're right, I wouldn't feel bad.
Ltdslip · 1 points · Posted at 01:30:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Holy shit! Have you ever seen The Lost World? A group of chicken sized things can easily overtake you, let alone 100. One you can outsmart.
oodsigma · 1 points · Posted at 01:33:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Depends on if the horses have the mass of ducks or full sized horses.
drdoom52 · 1 points · Posted at 01:43:24 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
why do you have to fight them. Capture, breed, profit as people buy your tiny adorable horses.
bortkik · 1 points · Posted at 01:44:58 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
How could you fight duck-sized horses though? They would be adorable.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:45:47 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
A horse sized duck would be terrifying
Samuel412 · 1 points · Posted at 01:59:20 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Square-cube law. A duck scaled up to horse size wouldn't be able to stand, let alone fight. Horses scaled down to duck size would have ridiculous strength, enough to jump up to the height of your head and kick you with the force of a bullet.
yattyc · 1 points · Posted at 02:11:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
....Annnnnd the date is over.
penis_in_my_hand · 1 points · Posted at 02:21:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Right?! Even goose-sized ducks would be scary.
Source: goose-sized geese
PRNmeds · 1 points · Posted at 02:30:36 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Imagine them biting your shins and stuff.
But then I remember zefrank1's video about the duck and I think about a normal sized duck having a 9" corkscrew dick and suddenly a horse sized duck is even that much more terrifying.
Rebel_bass · 6 points · Posted at 00:37:49 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yuk yuk.
sumguyoranother · 2 points · Posted at 01:13:00 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
err.... I think u/fuckswithducks answered that question before though.
kingvicarious · 1 points · Posted at 01:05:28 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"Do you eat fish sticks?"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:13:25 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Duck-of-Doom · 1 points · Posted at 01:17:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Dank you.
toeofcamell · 1 points · Posted at 01:25:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Major key
Yotarian · 1 points · Posted at 02:27:46 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's one helluva train going on.
5bi5 · 25 points · Posted at 00:32:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I asked my guy this. "That's a good question," he said, and then pondered it. He's still pondering...I think he's decided on a horse-sized duck, but only if you're allowed to have a weapon. (I told him he could have a pointy stick.)
[deleted] · 29 points · Posted at 00:54:09 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
moleratical · 17 points · Posted at 01:00:05 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
Do fucks really have teeth on their beaks?
Do ducks really have teeth on their tongues?
Wait, that looks more like a goose. Do geese (or whatever that is) really have a lot of those teeth?
octopornopus · 20 points · Posted at 01:36:59 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Both ducks and geese have surprising weapons at their disposal...
Ahuva · 3 points · Posted at 02:04:05 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I think I am most impressed that a bird can tell time.
TripleFFF · 1 points · Posted at 02:24:47 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I miss you, /r/birdswitharms. /r/ketchupwithlegs still rules though.
Jagasaur · 4 points · Posted at 01:51:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I feel like the entirety of reddit is drunk at this point.
pigmonkey2829 · 2 points · Posted at 02:27:49 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Ypure drynk!
Jagasaur · 2 points · Posted at 02:47:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You're Not wrong.
Wait yes you are if my boss is reading this.
ZedsVeryMuchAlive_bb · 2 points · Posted at 01:32:40 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I, too, would like to know the answer to this.
Stoppels · 2 points · Posted at 01:45:28 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Read moar
cc: /u/moleratical
tired_and_sleepless · 2 points · Posted at 01:21:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Pointy stick
That's my nickname. Seriously.
braintrustinc · 19 points · Posted at 00:33:27 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Have you ever seen that Mel Brooks movie, /r/spacedicks?
Dmacbeth · 9 points · Posted at 00:38:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Absolutely the best subreddit ever!!!! Definitely subscribe.
freezingbyzantium · 12 points · Posted at 00:49:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That link is staying purple.
Kalustar · 16 points · Posted at 00:57:12 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Gross, that's the wrong color
freezingbyzantium · 6 points · Posted at 01:18:39 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
If that's wrong baby, then I don't wanna be right.
Kalustar · 2 points · Posted at 01:55:53 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Clearly
notashleyjudd · 2 points · Posted at 02:16:34 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It's the wrong color for a baby.
hirohimura · 2 points · Posted at 00:51:24 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It says I'm forbidden from doing that.
Dash_O_Cunt · 2 points · Posted at 00:52:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
If only it wasn't set to private :(
fabiobrocco18 · 2 points · Posted at 01:33:58 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'm gonna stop clicking random subreddits in the comments from now on
averageredditguy · 1 points · Posted at 01:06:56 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I couldn't go it says it's private :(
LazlowK · 5 points · Posted at 00:38:28 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
If you aren't already asking this to your date I don't know what the fuck the point of the first date is..
Hammonkey · 4 points · Posted at 00:55:14 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'd rather fight a horse sized duck. They dont have teeth and pretty weak jaws, they have a skinny neck, and only have two non muscle enforced legs. If I can take out a knee, the thing is going down and I can hop on it's back without worrying about getting bit too bad and strangle that fucker.
moleratical · 3 points · Posted at 01:04:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You know that ducks can fly, right?
Hammonkey · 1 points · Posted at 01:23:18 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
not if they want to fight a human they wont.
moleratical · 3 points · Posted at 01:28:24 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Death from above
The only way to avoid it is to... Well... Duck
Hammonkey · 1 points · Posted at 01:37:28 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
This can fuck a duck just as easily as it could hurt me. I'll still take my chances with the horse sized duck.
7hr0wi74w4y · 2 points · Posted at 01:04:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That thing would quack so loud it would break your ear drums and you'd be lying on the ground in agony. Then it would proceed to swallow you whole.
Hammonkey · 1 points · Posted at 01:28:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
why is that?
7hr0wi74w4y · 1 points · Posted at 02:32:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It's a horse sized duck. It's quack would be louder than the quack of a normal duck. Same with the duck sized horses they would neigh, but it would sound like they ingested helium.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 01:12:26 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Hammonkey · 1 points · Posted at 01:22:44 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's not a duck, so what's the point?
rushseeker · 1 points · Posted at 01:56:39 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
If we are going by weight, this is smaller than a horse sized duck would be.
Hammonkey · 1 points · Posted at 03:40:17 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
hes but it's got legs meant for running and kicking, not flying and swimming. It's got a beak that's built for crushing and slicing, not one meant for rooting around in the mud and eating bread crumbs.
alwayslatetotheparty · 1 points · Posted at 02:08:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Strangle? Have you even seen Avatar?
Hammonkey · 1 points · Posted at 03:39:12 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yes
QuarterFlounder · 1 points · Posted at 00:41:56 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Ah, you joke about this, but I got a huge laugh from a girlfriend with this one.
dackinthebox · 1 points · Posted at 00:44:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I've asked a date this question before. It went well.
ludicrouscuriosity · 1 points · Posted at 00:47:51 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What kind of duck are we talking about?
Prysorra · 1 points · Posted at 00:54:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:08:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
horse sized dick
rillaz · 1 points · Posted at 01:55:55 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Just successfully spawned a full-blown family argument over this age old question. Thank you.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:56:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
If you scale down a horse to duck size, they would have tremendous jumping power relative to their body mass. This would also contribute to incredible speed and agility. A determined pack of 100 would pulverize you with an unrelenting storm of small, hard, piercing hoofs. The reduced surface area of their horny hoofs would be scaled along with their compacted body size, which would result in no real net loss in contact pressure compared to a regular horse. Their attacks would remain effective, even individual attacks, in bruising and tearing flesh. Combine the attacks of 100 of these miniature hellbeasts, and you face certain death in minutes. Defending yourself against such an onslaught is unfeasible, even armed with a chainsaw or light machine gun, or both, they will simply overwhelm you.
bakedtateO · 1 points · Posted at 02:04:26 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Best question ever. I want to get it tattooed on my lower back.
S4mmyK · 1 points · Posted at 02:11:26 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Then round off the discussion about how it is actually an analogy about tackling one large problem or lots of smaller ones both of which have the potential to overwhelm you.
daogrande · 1 points · Posted at 02:14:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I really want to see a duck sized horse now, especially a herd of 100 just galloping. That would be the funniest shit to see.
daogrande · 1 points · Posted at 02:14:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I really want to see a duck sized horse now, especially a herd of 100 just galloping. That would be the funniest shit to see.
sgtsheabo · 1 points · Posted at 02:16:53 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Iyaayas?
MagnusTheGreat · 1 points · Posted at 03:11:02 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
100 dick sized whores or 1 whore sized dick.
PicturElements · 45 points · Posted at 00:28:28 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
On a scale from OP's humor to Bernie Sanders, how dank are your memes m'lady?
epicblob · 2 points · Posted at 00:38:34 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
OP has dank humours? What, is he sick?
ISaidGoodDey · 2 points · Posted at 00:40:18 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
When you cram too much reddit into one sentence this is what you get
absentmindedjwc · 17 points · Posted at 00:25:18 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
He said /r/askreddt, not /r/shittyaskreddit
IAmNotJoshua · 41 points · Posted at 00:26:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Tomato tomato
TheRealKidsToday · 6 points · Posted at 00:27:47 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Topato Pomato
SomeThingsNeedDoing · 1 points · Posted at 00:37:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
¿TOTAPO MAPATO?
NZT-47 · 1 points · Posted at 00:34:26 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Not much of a difference tbh.
SteakDinnerWithJesus · 1 points · Posted at 00:36:59 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
There's a difference?
d-scott · 1 points · Posted at 00:43:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Two tomatoes
LeahBrahms · 0 points · Posted at 00:29:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Tabasco sauce.
redditcreeper96 · 2 points · Posted at 00:37:14 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
nailed it.
Bl_rp · 1 points · Posted at 00:32:03 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Like at least five.
Veggiemon · 1 points · Posted at 00:43:22 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
How can you not read this in Matt berrys voice
JosephND · 1 points · Posted at 00:45:06 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Forgot I was in /r/circlejerk for a second XD
Sadgasm0 · 1 points · Posted at 01:05:46 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Wolf-kin
TheExercist · 1 points · Posted at 01:19:58 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
This made my day, thank you.
hijomaffections · 1 points · Posted at 01:23:17 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
How do you truly feel about the argentinean crisis?
mikelae18 · 127 points · Posted at 22:49:05 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
How would you pronounce gif? This one can be a deal breaker.
Rhaedas · 44 points · Posted at 23:55:54 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Why? There's only one answer.
[deleted] · 112 points · Posted at 00:00:17 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
And it better be "gif".
jordan177606 · 41 points · Posted at 00:06:22 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"Gif" is the only way to pronounce it
dotoent · 21 points · Posted at 00:14:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted] · 290 points · Posted at 00:16:40 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The creator is wrong.
billytheskidd · 103 points · Posted at 00:36:12 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
creators can and are often wrong. "in the beginning, god created the universe. this made a lot of people very angry and has widely been regarded as a bad decision."
gordo65 · 50 points · Posted at 01:08:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I think it's pronounced "Jod".
adj1 · 4 points · Posted at 01:28:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"Zod"
Slapperkitty · 2 points · Posted at 02:11:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Wasn't he the bad guy in superman 2?
poohster33 · 2 points · Posted at 02:16:53 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Is that why Muslims always kneel before him?
thefilthyhermit · 2 points · Posted at 02:24:05 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Kneel before him.
TakeltSleazy · 2 points · Posted at 02:06:09 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I have an account but haven't been logged in for almost 2 years. You made me log in just to upvote.
thom_sirveaux · 2 points · Posted at 02:13:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It could be "Yod," could be a soft "J"
Im_Mr_Skeltal · 2 points · Posted at 02:14:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy. It was created to help protect users from doxing, stalking, and harassment.
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Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, scroll down as far as possibe (hint:use RES), and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.
Also, please consider using an alternative to Reddit - political censorship is unacceptable.
In_search_of_Her · 2 points · Posted at 02:18:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Legit made me chuckle, thanks I needed it.
GDFaster · 2 points · Posted at 01:29:22 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's how I'm saying it from now on, swear to god.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 01:47:28 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
gordo65 · 0 points · Posted at 08:52:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
In English pronunciation is completely regional. If most people in your region say a word a certain way, then that's the correct way to pronounce it in that region. And when someone pronounces a word "wrongly", it usually just means that they have an accent that's distinct from the accents of their neighbors.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 14:25:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
gordo65 · 0 points · Posted at 18:34:42 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
No, gif is pronounced the way 'give' is. Or like 'giraffe' is. There is no authority that assigns 'correct' pronunciations.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:56:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
gordo65 · 1 points · Posted at 19:51:14 on June 26, 2016 · (Permalink)
But you're saying that the g in gif MUST be pronounced like the g in giraffe, rather than like the g in give. My point was that there is no authority that makes that determination, so neither can be said to be "right" or "wrong".
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:23:30 on June 26, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
gordo65 · 1 points · Posted at 12:45:12 on June 27, 2016 · (Permalink)
You can continue to assert that all you like, but that won't make it true. Have fun being the nerdy guy who tries to correct everyone's pronunciation of gif for the rest of your life.
I_am_the_grass · 2 points · Posted at 01:06:39 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Damn I really miss hhgttg
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 03:40:43 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
i just got the thumbs-up-the-planet-thingy tattoed on me! i love those books. i thought the movie was super rad too. and the old tv series. haven't listened to the radio show though. but yeah, one of my favorites.
oaklandr8dr · 1 points · Posted at 01:12:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
don't panic
EddzifyBF · 40 points · Posted at 00:19:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The first stage is denial
ChactFecker · 24 points · Posted at 00:24:42 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The second stage is pitchforks
iPlowedYourMom · 11 points · Posted at 00:41:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The third stage usually involves alcohol, fire, mountain goats, and underpants
sjselby95 · 2 points · Posted at 00:56:43 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I like the third stage.
ootter · 1 points · Posted at 01:47:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I thought the third step was profit... Seriously... Guys are we no longer doing phrasing?
iPlowedYourMom · 1 points · Posted at 01:50:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Fourth step is profit, dummy
ootter · 1 points · Posted at 02:10:34 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
My mom told me never to trust someone that plowed her. Last time my dad left to get cigarettes he disappeared for 20 years
iPlowedYourMom · 1 points · Posted at 02:15:03 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Don't worry, I'll take good care of her
IWantSteamKeys · 1 points · Posted at 02:16:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Actually, fourth step is ????
Hammonkey · 1 points · Posted at 00:58:40 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
graphics interchange format. It's gif not jif. The creator is just trolling.
spiritualboozehound · 1 points · Posted at 03:35:34 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The first stage for you is acknowledging George Lucas.
Vio_ · 7 points · Posted at 00:24:36 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
death of the
authorcreator.dotoent · 6 points · Posted at 00:21:44 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
No you're wrong
Bloedman · 2 points · Posted at 00:56:03 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
My name is Greg! Not Jrej!
kyle_gibson · 1 points · Posted at 01:54:22 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Is it pronounced NASUHH?
No, it isn't you neanderthals.
dotoent · -2 points · Posted at 00:57:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
In Spanish it's "Jorge"
adamsmith93 · 1 points · Posted at 02:33:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yeah just because he created it doesn't mean he knows how it's pronounced. fuck
[deleted] · 49 points · Posted at 00:34:51 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It must be embarrassing to incorrectly pronounce a word that you invented.
dotoent · 4 points · Posted at 00:43:33 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It must be embarrassing to pronounce a word in a way that feels like garbage in your mouth.
GokuMoto · 9 points · Posted at 00:56:37 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Garbage or jarbaje?
dotoent · 1 points · Posted at 01:04:09 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
In Spanish it's "basura"
DirtiestHarry · 31 points · Posted at 00:16:47 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Well he's fuckin wrong, so there's that....
chaosfire235 · 2 points · Posted at 00:30:06 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Whatever helps ya sleep at night.
grtwatkins · 3 points · Posted at 00:35:28 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It would be hard to sleep if all you believed was lies
7hr0wi74w4y · 1 points · Posted at 02:19:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Even if it's auto erotic asphyxiation?
Sinnedangel8027 · 16 points · Posted at 00:16:04 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Its not peanut butter
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 00:17:39 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Can't believe it.
HellaBrainCells · 3 points · Posted at 00:31:56 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
's not butter
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 01:36:58 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's why it's pronounced jif. Choosy mom's choose jiff, and choosy web developers choose gif.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 00:38:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Do you pronounce graphics like jraphics?
PlanB4321 · 1 points · Posted at 02:32:28 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"George" what do you have to say about that?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:34:17 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Just like giraffe. Until they rename it George interchange format, I'ma stick with gif.
PlanB4321 · 2 points · Posted at 02:44:11 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Honestly I wasn't paying close enough attention and completely missed your point about the word graphic. I though you were trying to say that there was only one 'g' sound. My b.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:57:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
No harm no foul homie!
spiritualboozehound · 1 points · Posted at 03:37:00 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I saw some old movie and it was "Gay-Org." So apparently we're wrong about that too.
dotoent · -3 points · Posted at 00:40:53 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Do you pronounce giraffe like Giraffe?
EricSanderson · 12 points · Posted at 00:57:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Well, if it were "giraffe interchange format" I'd side with you.
dotoent · -1 points · Posted at 01:03:46 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
Then I hope you say "skuhba" when you pronounce scuba. (The u stands for underwater)
PLEASE RESPOND
AlienManGuy · 2 points · Posted at 01:23:18 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
😍
Mariulo · -3 points · Posted at 01:04:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
Do you pronounce GEMA (Gas and Electricity Markets Authority) with a hard G? When you read an acronym, normal rules apply. Before i,e, or y, it's a soft g.
EricSanderson · 1 points · Posted at 01:52:32 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What in god's butthole are you talking about
Mariulo · -1 points · Posted at 02:05:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
Space_is_infinite's point was that you should pronounce Gif with a hard G because it stands for Graphical. But GEMA is an acronym that starts with a soft G, yet a G that stands for Gas.
spiritualboozehound · 1 points · Posted at 03:46:17 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You mean your point? Forgot to log into your alt lol.
I get the point and there are areas where your rule isn't followed like "guyn" for "GYN" but I think "gif" isn't seen as "jiff" because 1) two "ffffffss" are a mouthful and not catchy at all 2) "JIF" is a thing already. I'm fairly sure there are acronym pronunciations guided against the fact that others having taken that sound.
Mariulo · 0 points · Posted at 10:23:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I was talking about Space_is_infinite.
EricSanderson · 1 points · Posted at 02:37:42 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
No, he was saying that there are rules for acronyms. That before i, e or y, an acronym carries a soft g. Which is one of the most bullshit things I've read in a long time.
I'm thinking of calling the Gestapo on him, or maybe sending him to the gulag. Either way, in terms of /r/iamverysmart submissions, he's in the running for GOAT.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 01:18:59 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Mariulo · 1 points · Posted at 01:50:27 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Gas and Electricity Markets Authority ;)
emdubl · 0 points · Posted at 01:39:18 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
So give = jiv?
Mariulo · 1 points · Posted at 01:58:08 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Give, get, etc, are part of the exceptions, as are several words of Germanic origin. I know it might be weird to have a "rule" not apply to every case, but as far as languages are concerned, it's pretty much always like that. A general rule that applies to almost everything, and a small number of exceptions. These exceptions however are due to the way language evolved and borrowed from other languages following different rules. And no, Gif is not part of the exceptions as it is a modern construct.
snowman92 · 3 points · Posted at 01:28:49 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I pronounce gift like Gift
dotoent · 1 points · Posted at 01:29:46 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
In Spanish it's "regalo"
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 01:01:43 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
If it was called giraffe interchange format, then I'd pronounce it as "jif". Until then, the jiraffes can find their own format.
Edit: Ha wouldn't let me reply so I didn't see that someone had beaten me to it.
dotoent · 0 points · Posted at 01:06:12 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
How do you pronounce scuba? The u stands for underwater. If you pronounce it "skooba" (which everyone does) then you're a hypocrite.
PLEASE RESPOND
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:38:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Stopped pronouncing it "scooba" when I learned that about a year ago.
Sup with the PLEASE RESPOND bit?
dotoent · 0 points · Posted at 01:40:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Sorry I made the counter argument to another person and I never got a reply back. I just want people to be able to admit they're wrong, or at least have consistency and sound like total idiots when they say the word scuba.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:44:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Lol that's exactly how I feel when I hear jif. But really scuba is just fun to say. I'll probably still call jphegs jpegs, but I mean come on...
scuba :D
Grickles · 0 points · Posted at 01:14:46 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Additionally, JPEG is an acronym for Joint Photographic Experts Group. Unless you pronounce it as jpheg, the creator of .gif is correct in my eyes.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:38:47 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Learned a new way to pronounce jpheg :)
LlamaJack · 2 points · Posted at 00:46:22 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
He's also not a linguist so he isn't necessarily right.
AugustusM · 1 points · Posted at 02:50:06 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
To be fair if you ask a linguistic the answer is almost always "both". Because, you know, that's just how language works.
BaconIsBest · 2 points · Posted at 01:12:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
So, what, do you like peanut butter and gelly sandwiches, too? Or how about video games with super awesome jraphics? Oh, or maybe you're too busy banging all your jirlfriends to notice this comment.
dotoent · 2 points · Posted at 01:14:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
How do you pronounce scuba? The u stands for underwater. So by your logic it's "skuhba"?
BaconIsBest · 1 points · Posted at 01:18:20 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Now that you've made me think about this, yes, it should be pronounced as such. I now have a new talking point for parties. Thank you, kind stranger!
dotoent · 3 points · Posted at 01:22:55 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yes, please start correcting everyone you know when they say the word scuba. Maybe head down to the beach, you will find more people to correct there.
I will give you credit though as you're the only person to respond to the counter argument.
BaconIsBest · 2 points · Posted at 01:25:43 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's a great idea. I mean, all these people are pronouncing it wrong! They deserve to know.
dotoent · 1 points · Posted at 01:28:11 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You'll be a modern day linguistic Jesus I tell ya!
BaconIsBest · 2 points · Posted at 01:31:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You mean Gesus?
dotoent · 2 points · Posted at 01:32:46 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/n2G9Id4.jpg
BaconIsBest · 2 points · Posted at 01:36:02 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'm Gewish and this is offensive.
ErbsNSpices · 1 points · Posted at 00:46:17 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I had switched to saying gif with a hard G about a year ago and now I learn I was saying it right the whole time!?! This is maddening!
Doomsayer189 · 1 points · Posted at 01:45:58 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
There is no real right way. Both are fine.
ShapesAndStuff · 1 points · Posted at 00:17:50 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That applies to many words we dont pronounce as the inventor intended.
Source: saw some youtube video recently and it seemed semi scientific enough for me.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 00:33:40 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Well...you're wrong.
jordan177606 · 1 points · Posted at 00:44:23 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
um... you'r wrong-er!
7hr0wi74w4y · 1 points · Posted at 01:06:00 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Exactly gif like jiffy lube.
Terrance_Brennan · 1 points · Posted at 01:44:43 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Actually it's gife.
absentmindedjwc · 19 points · Posted at 00:26:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Also, tabs or spaces? Also a deal breaker.
StephenGostkowskiFan · 2 points · Posted at 01:16:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Spaces are for mouth breathers.
Stoppels · 2 points · Posted at 01:52:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Smart tabs or tabs, duh.
terribletreble · 3 points · Posted at 01:11:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Do you watch silicon valley? The episode where they go over this is so funny. And the stair scene!
tell_me_when · 1 points · Posted at 03:21:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
If they're all the same in the end than why not use tabs?
Bayou13 · 1 points · Posted at 00:57:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
How many spaces after a period? The ONLY question that matters.
AgroKK · 1 points · Posted at 02:31:14 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
in the end they're pretty much the same thing
NSA_Chatbot · 6 points · Posted at 00:11:27 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"zif"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:24:54 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
jive
Riovr4 · 1 points · Posted at 01:13:05 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Ziivv
BaconIsBest · 1 points · Posted at 01:14:13 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The gender-neutral form of GIF, for those who choose not to conform to the hard G or soft G binary.
cassieloveseffie · 1 points · Posted at 00:56:27 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Zhaif
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 00:24:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Spaces or Tabs?
evanphi · 7 points · Posted at 01:25:12 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
this guy fucks
5cr0tum · 1 points · Posted at 00:36:00 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Jife
ICEMAN373 · 1 points · Posted at 00:59:06 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Gackass!
PRNmeds · 1 points · Posted at 02:33:11 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Do you stand, or sit when you wipe your ass? You see, the are two kinds of people and they don't know the other group even exists. Crazy, right?.. Right?
GRat9717 · 1 points · Posted at 02:33:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"Jackass!"
"Gackass!"
[deleted] · 77 points · Posted at 23:00:52 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
billytheskidd · 233 points · Posted at 00:42:59 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What if spiders were intolerant of hornets?
What if spiders were made of smaller spiders?
What if spiders were made out of BIGGER spiders?
What if you picked up a phone and instead of a phone it was spiders?
What if there was a photo of spiders?
What if there were a bunch of spiders on a plane?
What if the dinosaurs were killed by spiders?
What if the dinosaurs WERE spiders?
What if your Facebook beecomes infested with spiders?
What if spiders hacked your Facebook?
What if someone wrote on your wall about spiders?
What if cats vomited spiders?
What if spiders could travel through paintings?
What if spiders was a science and was subject to bee review?
What if spiders are contagious?
What if there was a spider gun?
What if you forgot to reload the spider gun?
What if the computer monitor could produce spiders?
What if spiders start demanding civil rights?
What if the Magna Carta has been spiders the whole time?
What if rabbits swore allegiance to the spiders?
What if Chinese spiders?
What if Japanese schoolgirl spiders?
What if spiders were four-dimensional?
What if spiders were time-travelers?
What if time travel turns you into spiders?
What if time travel requires spiders?
What if you could replace explosions with spiders?
What if instead of movies there were spiders?
What if you could buy spiders on the black market?
What if spiders are accepted as payment in Hawaii?
What if instead of throwing beads on Mardi Gras you threw spiders?
What if spiders wrote a travelogue?
What if the travelogue was just spiders?
What if you eloped with spiders?
What if you served refreshments to spiders?
What if someone mentions spiders?
What if spiders formed a religion?
What if that religion involved clockwork spiders?
What if spiders had a polite disagreement?
What if spiders were paid to rake leaves?
What if spiders were in the guise of a tundra?
What if spiders are taking over your dreams?
What if you controlled spiders with your dreams?
What if fictional characters happened to be spiders?
What if spiders were aliens?
What if spiders come from the spider lair beneath the Earth?
What if spiders could blow people up with the blink of an eye?
What if spiders were a superhero?
What if you could mail-order spiders?
What if the store has a sale on spiders?
What if the spiders had a gay pride parade?
What if spiders went to the parade with no clothes?
What if they accidentally intentionally paved over spiders?
What if I accidentally spiders?
What if spiders could live in any hollow area?
What if spiders were secret agents?
What if you and spiders had highly different taste in music?
What if plants danced to attract spiders?
What if spiders swarmed around and stung people?
What if spiders are just mad because someone cut them off in traffic?
What if spiders could disrupt your wifi?
What if spiders were replaced with a numerical code?
What if spiders resembled spiders?
What if spiders resembled DIFFERENT spiders?
What if spiders were exactly like the movie?
What if Poland cannot into spiders?
What if each anime was a different color of spider?
What if spiders were nocturnal and sucked blood?
What if spiders and werewolves were sworn enemies?
What if dogs were unable to perceive spiders?
What if spiders had subwoofers?
What if nobody realized that the spiders had an evil plan?
What if spiders were censored by the government?
What if transition metals reacted with spiders?
What if spiders framed a politician for larceny?
What if spiders had ties to organized crime?
What if spiders unwittingly morphed into heroin during the full moon?
What if someone wrote a book about spiders?
What if spiders were computer illiterate?
What if I'm spiders?
What if spiders misread directions and killed a lemon tree?
What if spiders were an accurate description of the concept of the assembly line?
What if Willy Wonka was prepared for spiders?
What if spiders had fetishes?
What if spiders could vibrate through walls and discern motives?
What if spiders were put on the No-Fly list?
What if spiders were mistakenly put on the Sex Offender registry?
What if spiders overran a mental institution?
What if spiders had daydreams about becoming lemurs?
What if there was a wiki about spiders?
What if Wikipedia was spiders?
What if spiders killed me mid-sen
ExcellentChoice · 128 points · Posted at 00:48:38 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
jesus fuck
jesuschristonacamel · 30 points · Posted at 01:08:32 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I do like sex, thanks.
woowoo293 · 2 points · Posted at 02:20:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Stupid sexy Jesus.
TheDriveHome · 2 points · Posted at 01:30:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
On a camel?
jesuschristonacamel · 2 points · Posted at 01:31:17 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Surely, you mean in, my son.
dragonfry · 1 points · Posted at 02:01:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
With rice?
Candied_Vagrants · 27 points · Posted at 00:54:13 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That sounds exactly like you've followed my daughter around for the past 20 minutes.
skullturf · 2 points · Posted at 01:41:18 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Twist: Your daughter is 37
penis_in_my_hand · 4 points · Posted at 02:23:37 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
and made of spiders
Caves_Caves · 18 points · Posted at 00:55:03 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What if Poland cannot into spiders is my favorite one
DSquariusGreeneJR · 4 points · Posted at 01:31:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'm the perfect level of drunk for this. The worst one was right in the beginning, "what if spiders were made of bigger spiders" because then I think it's like spiders for infinity. It's spiders all the way down.
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 03:46:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
it's becoming a reality for me actually. i trapped a pregnant spider in my house the other day and she laid her eggs. i have a mini terrarium filled with spider and spider eggs. when they hatch it, in their world, it will be all spiders.
they'll probably eat each other.
Ungodlydemon · 3 points · Posted at 01:11:06 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Who the fuck are you?
billytheskidd · 2 points · Posted at 03:25:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
what the fuck am I?*
^(not spiders)
NIPPIL · 2 points · Posted at 00:51:20 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 03:29:59 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
not aspider
IrresistibleMittens · 2 points · Posted at 00:55:58 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The hero we needed
stinkfut · 2 points · Posted at 01:13:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Oh my god dude
GreenStrong · 2 points · Posted at 01:18:32 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Somebody help this motherfucker, he's too goddamn high.
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 03:30:53 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
yes, i ate a black widow and am now high.
Puffy_Ghost · 2 points · Posted at 01:19:20 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I can't believe I read all that.
Bravo.
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 03:50:00 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
i can't believe i did it tbh
caveman_rejoice · 2 points · Posted at 01:20:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I think spiders would be quite good a raking leaves. They'd be to able use at least two rakes at a time.
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 03:51:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
isn't that what garden spiders do?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 01:23:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Holy hell, why did you take the time to type all this?
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 03:51:58 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
haven't you ever partied on a friday night before?
jackherer420x · 2 points · Posted at 01:26:22 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Summer break?
billytheskidd · 2 points · Posted at 03:42:51 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
it's pretty much always summer break for me. college drop out like kanye west over here. the world can't tame me.
Whind_Soull · 2 points · Posted at 01:26:49 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"No! I must kill the spiders" he shouted. The radio said “No, John. You are the spiders” And then John was a zombie.
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 03:44:03 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
what if zombies were actually spiders?
what if john had been spiders this whole time?
what if you turned on the radio and it actually was spiders?
Stewbodies · 2 points · Posted at 01:27:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
THE HORROR!
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 03:44:40 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
i don't think I could handle it. i've never seen an actual photo of a spider.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 01:50:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Spotted the guy on Adderall.
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 03:47:12 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
that's my brother. i'm on meth.
lala989 · 2 points · Posted at 01:59:25 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I have this comment saved somewhere I saw it when it was first posted. it's my favorite.
billytheskidd · 2 points · Posted at 03:35:05 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
i'm a phony but it is a great comment. probably my favorite copypasta as well. kinda surprised no one else recognized it, especially since the comment i replied to was the title of the thread it's from haha.
lala989 · 2 points · Posted at 03:42:18 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
At the time I don't remember people loving the comment. Just you and me I guess bud!
billytheskidd · 2 points · Posted at 03:49:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
i think you're right. i just went back and checked and it's guided now. so at least i don't have to feel bad for copy pasting it.
lala989 · 1 points · Posted at 06:37:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Don't feel bad it's brilliant how else will people know 😊
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 07:05:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"forgive me father for i have sinned."
"what have you done?"
"I am a filthy reposter, father."
rauer · 2 points · Posted at 02:01:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Whoever raised you must have had super-human patience
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 03:35:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
*super-spider patience.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:29:51 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 03:35:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
kinda bored. lol.
BaconIsBest · 2 points · Posted at 01:14:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Obviously, you would have to burn everything to the fucking ground.
MajorMajorObvious · 154 points · Posted at 22:11:35 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Do you like trilbies or fedoras better?
PitchforkAssistant · 96 points · Posted at 22:24:25 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
What's your secret that could literally ruin your life if it came out?
MuonManLaserJab · 43 points · Posted at 00:18:32 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Always a good ice-breaker.
beggen5 · 3 points · Posted at 01:16:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It would probably turn weird when she says "I aborted my brothers baby 5 years ago, my family doesn't know" type shit on you.
TheDirtyCondom · 2 points · Posted at 01:06:34 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Even better if you top her answer with your cumbox
iPlowedYourMom · 8 points · Posted at 00:39:54 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"my dick is so large I have to tape it around my leg"
redpandaeater · 4 points · Posted at 01:09:17 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Dude, that's the worst! Nothing like staring at some chick's ass and breaking your femur. Plus there were a few times in puberty I almost had to have it amputated from cutting off the circulation to my leg.
oaklandr8dr · 2 points · Posted at 01:13:13 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Well, that's enough Reddit for today. Time to go home
iPlowedYourMom · 0 points · Posted at 01:16:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You're a raider fan... trannys with giant dongs make up half your fan base.
The other half are on parole
oaklandr8dr · 2 points · Posted at 01:42:49 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Thankfully we aren't trannys with miniature dongs, then I'd be really insulted
iPlowedYourMom · 1 points · Posted at 01:47:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yeah, those are cowboys fans
quenterror · 34 points · Posted at 22:26:56 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Who the fuck wears fedoras anymore lol??? Trilbies offer much more class.
Alarid · 71 points · Posted at 00:06:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Trilbies are the jackdaws of fedoras.
Orimos · 45 points · Posted at 00:18:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Here's the thing. You said a "trilby is a fedora."
Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that.
As someone who is a scientist who studies fedoras, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls trilbies fedoras. If you wanted to be "specific" like you said then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 00:23:40 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Prove it
ouchimus · 2 points · Posted at 01:27:14 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Here's the thing. You said a "trilby is a fedora." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is an atheist who studies euphoria, I am telling you, specifically, in atheism, no one calls trilbys fedoras. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you should too. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "fedora family" you're referring to the euphoric grouping of le reddit army, which includes things from neckbearded gentlesirs to highly intelligent intellectual like myself. So your reasoning for calling a trilby a fedora is because random people "say that only neckbeards wear fedoras?" Let's get Mountain Dew and Doritos in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a redditor or a gentlesir? It's not one or the other, that's not how karma works. They're both. A trilby is a trilby and a member of the fedora family. But that's not what you said. You said a trilby is a fedora, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of le reddit army gentlesirs, which means you'd call neckbeards, intellectuals, and other maymays based, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
ROFLance · 2 points · Posted at 01:44:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
aaaaaaaand you killed it.
Orimos · 2 points · Posted at 01:59:59 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in millinery and I’ve been involved in numerous secret sewing parties, and I have over 300 hats. I am trained in designing and I’m the top designer in the entire US Milliner's Guild. You are nothing to me but just another customer. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision trimming the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the best damn hat you've ever seen, maggot. The hat that covers the pathetic little thing you call your head. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can make hats seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in trimming, but I have access to the entire stock at Goorin Bros. and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hairline off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
If anyone has suggestions for improvements let me know...
someguywhocanfly · 1 points · Posted at 00:29:33 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I still don't get why there was so much outrage over this. Is reddit just a pile of shit?
5cr0tum · 6 points · Posted at 00:33:58 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Am I OOTL?
Edit: Pretty certain I'm OOTL
KngNothing · 4 points · Posted at 01:18:36 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
/u/unidan was, once upon a time, a reddit celebrity of sorts. Kinda like /u/awildsketchappeared or /u/shitty_watercolour, or that /u/warlizard guy from that thing.
He would pop into discussions, often about nature or assorted science-y stuff, and give pretty great explanations as to how things worked. For those curious people who love to soak up mountains of useless knowledge, he was fantastic. You got to learn a little something about how the world/nature worked. They were happy times.
Then there was an argument about birds. Some things about specificity... it was a very lame argument...BUT .. it was discovered that unidan's answers were being boosted while his detractors were being downvoted, just about equally. People investigated and it was found out that unidan was using alt accounts to boost his answers and downvote the opposition. In the reddit algorithm, those first few votes can change everything. Reddit loved their nature god unidan.... but reddit does not like to be deceived.. and when they turn, even gods can be destroyed..
Here's the thing.... I'm bored and now you're in the loop.
***all to the best of my recollection as a mere casual redditor.
Hypocracy · 4 points · Posted at 00:34:44 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It wasn't the quote itself, it was that Unidan was using puppet accounts to upvote himself and down vote others. This is the post that got him busted by the admins.
capnrico · 3 points · Posted at 00:34:46 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It wasn't that argument specifically, it was that that argument was what brought out the fact that he had a bunch of alternate accounts he was using to upvote himself and downvote others.
tophernator · 3 points · Posted at 00:40:23 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You mean the unidan thing?
I don't think there was ever outrage that he was arguing jackdaw/crow terminology, or even that he was being a bit dickish about it. But that just happened to be the thread where the admins first spotted that he was using a bunch of sock-puppet accounts to upvote his own posts and comments, and to downvote people who disagreed with him.
Orimos · 2 points · Posted at 00:37:11 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yes.
But also I think it was just that the jackdaw/crow posts coincided with when the vote manipulation was revealed.
Big-Sack-Dragon · 2 points · Posted at 11:30:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
He had a bunch of alts he was using to manipulate the outcome of the argument. Also he was a trusted portion of the hivemind, so people followed him blindly. And he was wrong. So everyone felt a little silly about it.
Sipdippity · 6 points · Posted at 00:07:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/XS5LK.gif
dpking2222 · 3 points · Posted at 00:14:27 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That makes one of us.
Sinnedangel8027 · 5 points · Posted at 00:15:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Its a reference to /u/unidan
xisytenin · 15 points · Posted at 00:18:23 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Ah, the good old days. When reddit was better than now but not as good as it used to be according to our collective memory at the time.
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 00:33:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
reddit has gone to shit since this morning.
Papa_Long_Dong · 1 points · Posted at 00:17:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What are you talking about? That's not me
Egren · 1 points · Posted at 00:14:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yeah you fucking better.
5cr0tum · 1 points · Posted at 00:34:34 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Saved for when I need this in 5 seconds
BLooDCRoW · 1 points · Posted at 00:18:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Here's the thing...
Triapod · 43 points · Posted at 00:27:26 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
This is for all you stupid fucking trolls and haters online, saying mean and hurtful things about fedoras. Well guess what, they roll harder than you, dipshits. You don't know fucking anything about this hat, idiots. Quite frankly I think you're just jealous ass haters, because you couldn't even pull off this look. You couldn't even wear a fedora if your lives depended on it, because you know what? It's class. And class is for men and swag is for boys. But you wouldn't know shit about that, fucking haters. This hat is for what cool people wear, and you can't figure it out. You sit there online on your fucking websites and state bullshit about it, but guess what? It's just a hat, and you're not cool enough to wear it. So next time think before you do "trolling". I emplore you to do a little thinking if that's even possible for you. To think before you do fucking hating on fedoras. They're just a hat, and you're just a stupid swag idiot. You think swag is so cool, but guess what? It's just for boys, and class is for men. This is class. That's all i got to say to you stupid ass haters and bullshit bully trolls. You don't know shit, you don't know fashion, you don't know anything about this world if you keep saying bullshit jokes. I know you're just trying to be stupid and ass funny but it's not fucking funny. Get the fuck offline if you're gonna keep saying this bullshit, keep spamming it out of your stupid ass keyboards, that probably aren't even mechanical. Listen, log off idiots, you don't know shit. You stupid swag, you don't know shit and I dare you to say one more fucking joke and I'll slit your throat neck. Anyway, that's it haters. See ya later, fucking idiots.
PenguinOnTheRoof · 12 points · Posted at 00:30:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Blimey
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 01:02:03 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What the fuck did you say to me you little bitch?
Kalustar · 3 points · Posted at 01:01:25 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
But it isn't usually this guy wearing them
gamingchicken · 2 points · Posted at 00:51:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
5/7 copy pasta bro
spiritualboozehound · 1 points · Posted at 02:42:38 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The mechanical keyboards bit makes it 8/7 for me
Frogolocalypse · 1 points · Posted at 00:46:17 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You go girl.
lord_of_vader · 1 points · Posted at 01:17:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Saved.
thumbstickz · -4 points · Posted at 00:36:09 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Jesus. Chill dude it's a fucking hat. Don't take what others think so seriously.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 00:46:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Old_But_I_Remember · 1 points · Posted at 01:08:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Your keyboards aren't even mechanical and I'll slit your throat necks.
Guys, this dude is serious.
dlokatys · 2 points · Posted at 01:54:56 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You're a little slow eh?
spiritualboozehound · 1 points · Posted at 02:43:11 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
protip: if you don't see paragraphs its probably pasta
civicgsr19 · 1 points · Posted at 00:53:46 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You really think so?
dtdroid · 1 points · Posted at 00:08:33 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Can you get me tendies in 15 minutes or 16 minutes?
Krail · 1 points · Posted at 00:46:53 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Do you like tribbles or fedoras better?
critcal_kurt · 0 points · Posted at 00:24:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Why not both?
M'Lady
-tips trilby and fedora-
PicturElements · 26 points · Posted at 22:36:07 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)*
Funnily, the answer to both questions is 365.
Jourei · 35 points · Posted at 23:08:59 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
365 longs to eat a door...?
dragonfangxl · 20 points · Posted at 23:48:46 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
lol, what an idiot, its clearly 42 longs
sandm000 · 5 points · Posted at 00:14:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'm sorry, the answer we were looking for was 18 Courics.
iPlowedYourMom · 1 points · Posted at 00:42:40 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Or 4 chans
BaconIsBest · 1 points · Posted at 01:15:39 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
11/10 with rice.
mronosa · 1 points · Posted at 00:14:47 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
But doors float. Except double doors.
sandm000 · 0 points · Posted at 00:14:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'm sorry, the answer we were looking for was 18 Courics.
MuonManLaserJab · 4 points · Posted at 00:10:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Ugh I actually laughed loud enough to draw attention
4rdv4rk · 7 points · Posted at 23:58:03 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Ah man I laughed too hard at that. And then screamed.
iPlowedYourMom · 2 points · Posted at 00:43:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Things your dates have said for $500
toeofcamell · 2 points · Posted at 00:25:03 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Have you ever eaten raw fish? Have you ever had raw fish with rice?
June1111 · 1 points · Posted at 01:02:40 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Never heard of it. What does one call this concoction?
bakedtateO · 2 points · Posted at 02:03:12 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Best comment ever!!
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:27:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Is a hotdog a sandwich?
Coosaw · 1 points · Posted at 02:32:02 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Some people just want to watch the world burn.
Backpedal · 2 points · Posted at 00:14:56 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses or one horse sized duck? Oh wait, I guess that's AMA.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:25:28 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You want gravy on that door?
VeganDumpsterBaby · 1 points · Posted at 01:22:23 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Whatever happened to door guy? Did he actually eat a door or did he wuss out and eat one of those Japanese paper doors?
iworshipme · 1 points · Posted at 01:24:32 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Welp my weekend is going to be great thanks to this comment cus you can't get me down from this high.
Gamepower25 · 1 points · Posted at 01:07:11 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What's the sexiest sex you've ever sexed? Sex?
hizperion · 1378 points · Posted at 22:17:14 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
A naked Obama is in your kitchen doing a crossword puzzle, he refuses to leave, what do you do?
_vOv_ · 284 points · Posted at 22:31:40 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
fuck him
dudenotcool · 204 points · Posted at 22:39:15 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Unconstitutionaly
KhabaLox · 166 points · Posted at 23:44:48 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Unconstitutionanaly
xisytenin · 73 points · Posted at 00:13:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Give me sodomy or give me death.
Morlok8k · 31 points · Posted at 00:19:02 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I think that's the philosophy of ISIS...
xisytenin · 17 points · Posted at 00:20:46 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I've never seen butt-plugs and ISIS in the same place at the same time...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:59:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
poopellar · 1 points · Posted at 02:37:18 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Why not?
ihazurinternet · 1 points · Posted at 02:18:59 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Now ye have
ma2016 · 1 points · Posted at 02:37:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Just what I was hoping someone would post
Avogadro101 · 2 points · Posted at 01:34:13 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That guy from Orlando definitely practiced what he preached.
C3POhMyyy · 1 points · Posted at 01:03:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Death...by sodomy...
everythingZero · 5 points · Posted at 00:13:55 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
dudenotcool · 2 points · Posted at 01:30:26 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
How did I miss that
BaconIsBest · 1 points · Posted at 01:18:43 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Word of the day.
explohd · 8 points · Posted at 22:54:33 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
MysteriousMooseRider · 1 points · Posted at 01:40:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's Congress's job
raveiskingcom · 4 points · Posted at 00:09:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Surprise sex!
IAm_Trogdor_AMA · 4 points · Posted at 00:29:44 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
forcey fun time!
jokergod382 · 2 points · Posted at 00:36:11 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Surprise butt-sex?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:30:54 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
theflamingfart · 2 points · Posted at 23:35:13 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's Osama, not Obama
If-if-if-if-if-if-if · 1 points · Posted at 00:59:09 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Kill him
toeofcamell · 1 points · Posted at 01:25:58 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Literally or anally?
EnigmaXVII · 0 points · Posted at 00:40:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yeah! Fuck that guy!
Dozck · -1 points · Posted at 00:32:37 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Would be a good role change after all the times he's fucked the entire nation.
simeonthesimian · 81 points · Posted at 00:07:13 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Which Obama? If it's a naked Michelle Obama, my dreams may have come true.
Arcane_Bullet · 39 points · Posted at 00:14:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Both. Just both.
They also have big gross and wrinkly dicks.
Dregoran · 65 points · Posted at 00:42:26 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Jesus, I can only get so hard!
GoldenAthleticRaider · 2 points · Posted at 01:38:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/iA3YQmb.gifv
penis_in_my_hand · 2 points · Posted at 02:24:25 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Not Jesus. President Barack Obama.
MyLittlePoneh · 2 points · Posted at 02:24:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
no man, jesus isnt there. just obama
JustAboutAdequate · 4 points · Posted at 00:41:55 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Now my dreams have come true!
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 00:38:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
TEmpTom · 31 points · Posted at 00:47:06 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Too old.
rta_scott · 12 points · Posted at 01:26:46 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Thanks Ser Meryn
aravena · 1 points · Posted at 01:42:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
So the younger of too tempting?
bathroomstalin · 1 points · Posted at 02:06:27 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Malia's been legal to fuck for two years now.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 01:17:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What the fuck do people actually find Michelle Obama attractive?
beeap26 · 3 points · Posted at 01:33:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You don't!?
SoldierOf4Chan · 1 points · Posted at 01:42:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Different people are attracted to different things, who knew?
ShaquilleOHeal · 9 points · Posted at 00:32:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Hit the knees and suck that DICK
[deleted] · 15 points · Posted at 00:04:44 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Sorry for staring, Mr. President. It's just that I've never seen a literal Presidential Dick before....
Gambit9000 · 16 points · Posted at 00:16:04 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
So Nixon doesn't count? Does his feelings not matter???
keez123 · 1 points · Posted at 02:29:43 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Not at all, he carried all his baggage when he flew off in that helicopter. /r/UpliftingNews just wasnt around back then.
sandm000 · 1 points · Posted at 00:16:13 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It's my first first man.
Wookiee72 · 3 points · Posted at 00:27:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Thanks Gavin
Kanapka64 · 1 points · Posted at 00:55:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yeah thanks Gavin
porwegiannussy · 2 points · Posted at 00:25:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Bring everyone together and vote on whether he stays or goes.
JaysFanSinceSept2015 · 1 points · Posted at 00:22:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I would shave him and stuff a pillow full of it.
amirbiskandar · 1 points · Posted at 00:34:32 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Is he using a Sharpie?
redpandaeater · 1 points · Posted at 01:10:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'd go try to have a hopefully less than awkward chat with his Secret Service detail until he decides to leave on his own accord. Never talk about it ever again because nobody would believe me, just like Bill Murray.
pwaz · 1 points · Posted at 01:16:56 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"Just clean up when you are done, Mr. President."
Rumpadunk · 1 points · Posted at 01:19:09 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Hopefully, if it's one of the women, they'd be naked because we were about to have sex. Then, we would have sex.
Hammer_Jackson · 1 points · Posted at 02:05:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Help
JWellows · 1 points · Posted at 02:21:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Prolly get the president of the United fucking states some coffee or something and offer him whatever hospitality I can.
Juno_Malone · 1 points · Posted at 02:56:13 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Sooo... how long you been doin' crossword puzzles for?
PlausibleApprobation · 158 points · Posted at 23:50:31 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
But what are you going to do when the Wi-Fi dies on your honeymoon?
sandm000 · 47 points · Posted at 00:18:00 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It's too late, I've seen everything.
Controlled01 · 2 points · Posted at 01:17:54 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
you hear that guys, this guys says he's seen everything. is there anyone out there who can show him something he's never seen!
PuppleKao · 2 points · Posted at 02:15:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
He's seen everything
SpeakerToRedditors · 2 points · Posted at 01:17:14 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
/r/deadbedroom
_tokolosh · 1 points · Posted at 01:23:06 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I laughed way harder at this than I should have.
IWantSteamKeys · 0 points · Posted at 02:21:34 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
This looks like a comrom plot
The shy guy starts dating this hot girl but runs out of things to talk about. His internet friends help him to overcome it and he ends up being the most funny and simpatic guy in the group
Then, after a long love, they Marry, and in the honeymoon, there is no Wi-Fi
How will our hero overcome this situation?
abrakdabralol · 867 points · Posted at 22:16:51 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Aye BB What are some must have google chrome extensions???? HUHHH
helpmesleep666 · 68 points · Posted at 00:12:08 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Best freeware software GO!
Psynchrony · 23 points · Posted at 00:20:26 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The 6-pack of Sierra demos for Windows 95 that came with my purchase at Electronics Boutique in 1997.
Trophy Bass was dope.
jeff_from_antarctica · 10 points · Posted at 00:18:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
CuteFTP. Now you.
BrotherChe · 2 points · Posted at 01:26:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
WinRAR, cuz I'm naughty like that.
FrankFlyWillCutYou · 1 points · Posted at 01:35:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
VLC rookie beeyotch!
rta_scott · 1 points · Posted at 01:27:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
GnuGo
a_vasquez96 · 1 points · Posted at 02:07:47 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
VLC
N9n · 20 points · Posted at 00:13:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Is the HUHHH supposed to sound like J Roc because that's how I read it
Original-Newbie · 11 points · Posted at 00:14:50 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Nawm sayyyyyn?
AZ1717 · 12 points · Posted at 00:18:08 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
mafk
Zooted710 · 2 points · Posted at 00:34:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
all im saying is you see what im saying you knawm saying
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:06:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Zooted710 · 3 points · Posted at 01:10:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
you taking a knawmcensus?
lordbusiness7 · 10 points · Posted at 00:19:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Google Ultron plz
XadRav · 1 points · Posted at 01:08:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Oh man, how long had it been...
gamingchicken · 5 points · Posted at 00:53:23 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Ur a pleb if u use adblock kek ublock is masterrace
ManicD7 · 2 points · Posted at 01:14:25 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I read this in gradeaundera's voice
Dark_Thirty · 912 points · Posted at 22:14:33 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
She doesn't want go on another date with you, she wants to go on a date with Reddit
InstagramLincoln · 437 points · Posted at 22:17:56 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Ain't nobody ready for that kind baggage.
_Buff_Drinklots_ · 116 points · Posted at 22:20:20 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Tits or Get the Fuck Out
dudenotcool · 23 points · Posted at 22:38:11 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Thanks buff
mormotomyia · 4 points · Posted at 00:06:02 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
this is why Im sing... Oh no thats just my reddit me.
Wombizzle · 2 points · Posted at 00:39:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
wat
Jabullz · 1 points · Posted at 00:13:46 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
His name is Bif
iPlowedYourMom · 1 points · Posted at 00:44:55 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Now make like a tree
Jabullz · 1 points · Posted at 04:34:38 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Correct
Lump_Beefrock · 4 points · Posted at 00:07:03 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Sounds like something Crud Bonemeal would say.
MuonManLaserJab · 1 points · Posted at 00:20:04 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Are you all from some kind of thing?
_Buff_Drinklots_ · 2 points · Posted at 00:58:06 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese!
Lump_Beefrock · 1 points · Posted at 05:11:40 on June 29, 2016 · (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/RFHlJ2voJHY
The whole episode is worth watching
mevans2401 · 1 points · Posted at 00:57:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Smoke man muscle?
amedeus · 8 points · Posted at 00:16:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
/u/_Buff_Drinklots_ brings up a good point - what if she'd rather date 4chan? Are you prepared to handle a girl like that, OP?
Apoplectic1 · 2 points · Posted at 01:33:22 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
He ain't.
Hey OP, send her this way, she deserves a man who will pop a Sharpie in her pooper and balance a shoe on her head just right.
koulnis · 1 points · Posted at 00:22:00 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
He's hoping for either.
rugyg · 1 points · Posted at 00:47:37 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
/r/gonewild
penis_in_my_hand · 1 points · Posted at 02:25:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Thank You for Capitalizing Like That
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:49:40 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Better than mean baggage at least.
InstagramLincoln · 1 points · Posted at 03:03:40 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Woops. Can't win them all.
mikeet9 · 35 points · Posted at 23:58:18 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Let Reddit be your Cyrano de bergerac.
pxlwlkr · 2 points · Posted at 00:51:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yay, give Cyrano some love!
solarmanomega · 2 points · Posted at 01:45:06 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
So what you're saying is, this isn't going to end well for Reddit.
bathroomstalin · 2 points · Posted at 02:07:33 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Only avid Wishbone watchers will get this le reference.
msobelle · 1 points · Posted at 02:46:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'd watch that while I was babysitting my sister. It sure did make Silas Marner more interesting.
mamameaghan · 31 points · Posted at 00:29:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Apparently Reddit is why I thought my boyfriend was funny and now I always see stuff before him and am like, "Oh. Yeah. Ha ha."
rhinofinger · 62 points · Posted at 00:35:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"Our relationship went downhill when I realized he was... a reposter."
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:30:06 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
This is why I made sure my girlfriend only goes on Tumblr.
Ltdslip · 1 points · Posted at 01:34:03 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
This is what killed my marriage and she wasn't even on Reddit. Probably.
LaPologne · 1 points · Posted at 01:46:23 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Unfortunately many people tend to tell jokes that they arleady hear, I always try to be original and even never repeat the same joke to other person that's why many times I make a very stupid jokes because it's hard to think of something new all the time.
Dr_WLIN · 7 points · Posted at 00:09:47 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
Obligatory Silicon Valley "Code Gay" vid More like the reverse of this situation but still, fuck you.
billytheskidd · 2 points · Posted at 00:52:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
hmm maybe i wanna watch that show.
R3dcell · 1 points · Posted at 01:20:55 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
its worth
nemenik · 2 points · Posted at 01:21:09 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It's well worth it! 30 min episodes are just right
Dr_WLIN · 2 points · Posted at 01:55:25 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
IMO its the funniest show on TV right now. Comes on immediately after GoT.
Edit: I knew it was going to be gold when this was the opening scene of Season 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE85163JZ4o
Doctor_Crunchwrap · 6 points · Posted at 01:00:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Any girl who dates me is dating Reddit. A lot of the shit I say I steal right from this place
Amiracle56 · 1 points · Posted at 01:30:09 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
At least you admit that
fatlace · 13 points · Posted at 00:02:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
We did it!
InadequateUsername · 4 points · Posted at 01:07:44 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Tbh Reddit is pretty sexy.
Have you seen /r/spacedicks recently? Absolutely the best.
AngryCod · 2 points · Posted at 00:22:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
FINALLY!
Gorkymalorki · 2 points · Posted at 00:51:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
We are in a pretty committed relationship with Imgur right now. So we should probably tell her we just want to be friends before we lead her on.
RowdyOtis · 2 points · Posted at 01:01:46 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
We did it Reddit! We got a date!
anika3387 · 2 points · Posted at 01:20:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Reddit is very addictive, once you fall for Reddit, there's no way out
Papi_Grande7 · 2 points · Posted at 01:32:27 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
We are Reddit.
RebelliousBacon · 2 points · Posted at 02:07:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Reddit goes on a date! Same premise as twitch plays Pokémon.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:31:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's my secret..
gauderio · 1 points · Posted at 00:41:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Cyrano de Redderac
rta_scott · 1 points · Posted at 01:27:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Reddit de Bergerac
a_vasquez96 · 1 points · Posted at 02:09:14 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Now time for the hug of death
ayylmaoamirite · 0 points · Posted at 00:25:36 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Lol you wild, wyd tho?
Palifaith · 386 points · Posted at 22:11:27 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
¿Dónde está la biblioteca?
[deleted] · 134 points · Posted at 23:55:57 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Me llamo T-Bone La araña discoteca
JoeJF · 72 points · Posted at 00:10:37 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Discoteca, muñeca, La biblioteca Está en bigotes grandes, el perro, manteca.
speednub1 · 24 points · Posted at 01:11:08 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Munteca, begote, gigante, pequeno. Cabeza es nieve, cerbeza es buenooo
mavsman22 · 23 points · Posted at 01:17:13 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Buenos dias, me gusta papas frias, bigote de la cabra es CAMERON DIAZZZZZ!!!!!!
Evilredkilla084 · 22 points · Posted at 01:21:53 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
explosions Yeah Boi....Boi
aspiring_life_liver · 21 points · Posted at 01:24:13 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
it's 2009
Makaizen · 3 points · Posted at 02:24:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Word
sasquatch90 · 0 points · Posted at 01:30:25 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Wut
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 02:19:36 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Still one of my favorite Childish Gambino songs to this day
forsubbingonly · 9 points · Posted at 00:07:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The disco spider?
Smashum · 17 points · Posted at 00:18:09 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The goat's moustache is Cameron Diaz
superxero044 · 4 points · Posted at 00:23:28 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I wish they hadn't mentioned the year that was from :(
Smashum · 4 points · Posted at 00:24:18 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I know, so long ago
Nictionary · 1 points · Posted at 00:50:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
On one hand that makes it funnier, on the other it makes me feel older.
LetsWorkTogether · 2 points · Posted at 00:28:18 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The premise is that it's a rap created by characters in Spanish 101, thus the limited vocabulary.
kmacku · 14 points · Posted at 00:31:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
God damnit, my Reddit turned Spanish again.
NewToFemboys · 1 points · Posted at 01:14:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
ESP off
screen317 · 6 points · Posted at 00:22:23 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
¿Es la imagen real o falso?
IWantSteamKeys · 1 points · Posted at 02:22:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Si
rufnek2kx · 1 points · Posted at 00:55:24 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Que hora es?
NotASpanishSpeaker · 1 points · Posted at 01:32:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Al fondo a la derecha.
vivalarevoluciones · 1 points · Posted at 03:17:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Adentro de la librería
greg_focker · 151 points · Posted at 22:25:07 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Have you ever been in an eating competition?
What are your current fav Spongegar memes?
Papa_Long_Dong · 82 points · Posted at 00:19:51 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The meme isn't spongegar! It's prehistoric sponge!
God! I can't even right now!!
Eating completion?! What do I look fat!
SuperRette · 10 points · Posted at 01:05:36 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It's not spongegar.
TILtonarwhal · 2 points · Posted at 02:03:49 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
what a fucking idiot
Orc_of_sauron · 193 points · Posted at 22:23:23 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
"
Women of RedditWoman, what's something that men do that annoys you?[deleted] · 115 points · Posted at 00:13:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"
AdolfTrumpler · 8 points · Posted at 00:21:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
;
Original-Newbie · 23 points · Posted at 00:17:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
To answer the question
Lack of proper punctuation
iPlowedYourMom · 5 points · Posted at 00:49:00 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Oh I'll punctuate YOU bb.
poopellar · 1 points · Posted at 02:39:23 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I concur.
SmartAlec105 · 2 points · Posted at 02:01:58 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
So "Woman, what's something that men do that annoys you? IN THE SACK"
EdibleBatteries · 2 points · Posted at 02:08:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It makes it much better if you put your username in the sentence before closing the quotation...
coltsmetsfan614 · 20 points · Posted at 00:32:59 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
If I had to guess, I'd say probably people calling her "Woman."
Kancho_Ninja · 2 points · Posted at 02:17:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
¿Mujer?
coltsmetsfan614 · 1 points · Posted at 02:21:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
No creo que hubiera preferido que...
SQUID_FUCKER · 2 points · Posted at 01:23:54 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"Please note the serious tag before you reply. Joke answers will be banned."
"...huh?"
Alphax45 · 1 points · Posted at 00:37:05 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Just everything they say, do, think, or feel :P
AwesomeJohn01 · 44 points · Posted at 22:11:54 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
What's the most tasteless joke you know?
cailihphiliac · 22 points · Posted at 23:54:45 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's actually a good one.
simeonthesimian · -13 points · Posted at 00:08:18 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Other than the double comparative, yeah
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 00:28:04 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Why is a double comparative bad?
amkamins · 7 points · Posted at 01:33:46 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It isn't. This also isn't an example of one.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 02:04:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I just actually googled it. I wanna vomit now. Or maybe cry.
I have a computer science teacher right now who's pushing "passive voice is useless" and crap like that. The worst is the "put periods inside quotation marks" crap.
and
are totally different things.
manachar · 182 points · Posted at 00:12:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Coming back from a bathroom being chattier and more engaging sounds like a warning sign for some drug habit.
Catatafish · 136 points · Posted at 00:22:33 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"He's.... he's on something called Reddit."
unicorn_zombie · 11 points · Posted at 01:15:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"I just... I don't know how to handle it, Doc. He's just like a completely different person."
Catatafish · 14 points · Posted at 01:26:38 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"He's changed... All he does nowadays is talk about Bernie.."
underwood52 · 15 points · Posted at 01:30:34 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"He yells in his sleep that the 'Political revolution must carry on in November'"
unicorn_zombie · 1 points · Posted at 02:52:28 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"And what the hell is a shitpost? Is it a bad goalie? Is it those flyers you get in the mail?"
lapapinton · 2 points · Posted at 01:20:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"Hey, you... you got any of the good stuff?"
"You ain't a cop are ya?"
"No way man, le narwhal bacons at midnight XD"
opens coat
Papi_Grande7 · 1 points · Posted at 01:34:12 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
We call them Reddheads.
6poon_slayer9 · 1 points · Posted at 01:57:39 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Oh shit... I heard there is no getting of that one.
jcw4455 · 1 points · Posted at 02:02:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The most dangerous drug of all..
ABEW19043 · 2 points · Posted at 02:21:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
See, I would just take it as a sign that they were nervous and needed to go splash some water on their face and breathe or something. I doesn't always have to be drugs
DionStabber · 33 points · Posted at 00:31:24 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
"Is everything alright?" "Yeah, yeah. Anyway, TV fans of Reddit, what cancelled show do you wish got brought back?"
TacosAreSoWaco · 91 points · Posted at 23:07:46 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
If there was a specific thread do you happen to know which one it was?
[deleted] · 341 points · Posted at 00:04:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I started with: "Do you collect anything?" She said she collects teabags from all around the world but refuses to buy them online and absolutely has to get them herself, so she is traveling a lot. Then I asked her which countries she had visited in her life. This alone was food for a loooong conversation.
Then I remembered another question that was on there that was about traveling. "Have you ever been shocked at something that was normal in the country you were visiting?" Then she mentioned a place (I forgot which one) she visited that had an atrocious smell and then we discussed our favorite smells, and I mentioned one that reminded me of my granny (lavender, I always picked some lavenders from her garden to take home) and then we were reminiscing about our childhood and the most memorable things that happened to us back then which filled another hour and a half or so.
So looking back, I only used like 2 questions from Askreddit but if it wasn't for that, this could have turned out way different. At one point, my mind went completely blank and I couldn't come up with anything, followed by an awkward and long moment of silence that made me so nervous I just excused myself to the bathroom, where I later got the idea. :D I love reddit!!!
drteq · 608 points · Posted at 00:08:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[deleted] · 148 points · Posted at 00:16:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
DrobUWP · 57 points · Posted at 00:21:55 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
quickly OP! Break your arms!
RaptorDelta · 12 points · Posted at 00:25:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Something something Mom's spaghetti
FangoriouslyDevoured · 1 points · Posted at 00:38:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
This is incorrect.
aar2097 · 6 points · Posted at 00:38:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Ohhh yes. Sick reference bro.
DrobUWP · 5 points · Posted at 00:50:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It's a little better than usual. a post about dating advice from AskReddit and someone says OP is dating his mom? doesn't get much more relevant
aar2097 · 2 points · Posted at 01:02:34 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
They threw you the underhand pitch and you hit it out the park my dude.
HuoXue · 0 points · Posted at 00:35:14 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Every. Fucking. Thread.
bathroomstalin · 1 points · Posted at 02:10:56 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
He masturbates with lavender molecules dancing between his nostrils
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:26:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I wonder how he was able to browse reddit with two broken arms
Gorfoo · 1 points · Posted at 00:49:54 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Mom does that part too, of course.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:33:53 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Ah, i think we almost got him
arealcheesecake · 12 points · Posted at 00:17:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
She probably gets rekt and called n00b a lot
screen317 · 2 points · Posted at 00:23:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
On MW2
EpicLegendX · 1 points · Posted at 01:16:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
In 1v1 Quickscoping battles on Rust
theWacoKidwins · 47 points · Posted at 00:10:17 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's actually a pretty good idea. Also sounds like a pretty long date. That's a good indication that she was intersted.
[deleted] · 59 points · Posted at 00:17:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yeah, this has actually been the best date I've ever been on. Let's hope the next round will be as good. :)
My mind going blank was due to being nervous, but thanks to the reddit questions and the really good conversation they lead to, I felt a lot more at ease so chances are that by the next round I'll be a bit better at coming up with things to talk about myself. :D
ecu11b · 38 points · Posted at 00:27:50 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I hope she is reading all this. If she is then you have a 50 50 shot if she likes you even more or is pissed off
BrotherChe · 8 points · Posted at 01:30:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Please, if she's reading this there's no way she's pissed off.
PhAnToM444 · 2 points · Posted at 01:30:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I think it shows effort, but then again I'm not a girl.
Kaissy · 1 points · Posted at 02:06:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Why, it broke the silence. It was partially her fault as well for not being able to come up with conversation starters.
ABEW19043 · 1 points · Posted at 02:24:06 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'd say more likely to like him more. If it was just him asking a shitton of questions he found here it'd be one thing, but he just used a few as conversation starters. Nothing wrong with that.
brick2552 · 6 points · Posted at 00:37:02 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
WE DID IT REDDIT!
Twathammer32 · 3 points · Posted at 00:29:55 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Now you have time to memorize some ask reddit questions
SchrodingersCatPics · 4 points · Posted at 00:54:25 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Now we have time to come up with some really shitty ask reddit questions
randomletters08 · 2 points · Posted at 01:22:22 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Implying we don't do that already
Twathammer32 · 2 points · Posted at 01:32:32 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Girls if reddit, want sum fuk?
notjustanyschloss · 2 points · Posted at 02:08:23 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
As opposed to...?
caeliter · 2 points · Posted at 00:59:55 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"What questions should I ask on my second date? [Serious]" isn't exactly coming up with stuff on your own, but it is a step in the right direction at least.
theWacoKidwins · 1 points · Posted at 02:46:55 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
At least you didn't nervously ask one of the raunchier questions over there by accident. Good luck on the next date!
Hyperdrunk · 2 points · Posted at 00:33:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It's a doubly good idea because people tend to talk about themselves too much on dates IMO. Asking questions and listening to answers shows you're interested in your date, not just in making yourself look good.
pwang13243 · 20 points · Posted at 00:08:22 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's adorable
reverendrambo · 15 points · Posted at 00:10:32 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Glad it turned out well for you. Now you need to start studying up for next time by sorting by top of all time.
SchrodingersCatPics · 16 points · Posted at 00:55:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"So uh, hey baby, test post, please ignore."
Gamepower25 · 8 points · Posted at 01:09:34 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"Would you like to hear about my experiences as an actual rapist? Go ahead, don't be shy, ask me anything!"
SQUID_FUCKER · 2 points · Posted at 01:25:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"I'm Woody Harrelson. Ask me anything...about my upcoming movie, Rampart."
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 00:18:05 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Haha a real pro tip if I've ever seen one!!!
sightandsounds · 14 points · Posted at 00:39:37 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Hope you like rice.
SchrodingersCatPics · 10 points · Posted at 00:57:43 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
OP's date: 9/10
OP's date over rice: 5/7
bi0h4zz4rd · 1 points · Posted at 01:13:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Sushi is a great date night and theirs rice!
Dontwearthatsock · 3 points · Posted at 00:41:58 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Hard mode: Sort by controversial.
FailureToReport · 1 points · Posted at 00:50:26 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Well traveling the world she's probably seen a few pro-tips, might want to up your game in a few other subs too.
areyoujokinglol · 9 points · Posted at 00:15:04 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Even though your mind went blank for a bit, it sounds like you did a fantastic job at expanding on the questions/topics, her answers, etc. That's a super valuable skill.
SQUID_FUCKER · 2 points · Posted at 01:25:44 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
He picked it up from /r/lifeprotips
swegling · 3 points · Posted at 01:56:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
you were lucky with that one
DrDeath666 · 2 points · Posted at 01:22:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
pelase link thread
Run_LikeHell · 2 points · Posted at 02:12:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
And here she was probably thinking you take confidence poops. The ideas are literally st
reaming out of you.agusttinn · 1 points · Posted at 18:32:06 on June 30, 2016 · (Permalink)
Didn't know that was a thing
yumyumgimmesome · 1 points · Posted at 01:02:13 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Sounds like a memorable and good first date...congrats
Moal · 1 points · Posted at 02:00:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Aww, you guys already sound so cute together. Hope your future dates with her go just as well!
Renyx · 1 points · Posted at 02:07:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Sounds like you did most of the work on your own. Glad it went well for you. I've never been on a "normal" first date so I would probably fail miserably if I didn't do something similar.
HighOnGoofballs · 42 points · Posted at 22:05:04 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Baggage handlers of Reddit, you look hot tonight
dudenotcool · 8 points · Posted at 22:39:47 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
You know exactly what to say
IBrewMyOwnBeer209 · 19 points · Posted at 23:27:14 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
So what was the strangest/creepiest thing that happened to her in the woods?
Mitt_Robbedme · 14 points · Posted at 01:02:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"Cause we're about to top it"
[deleted] · 70 points · Posted at 22:02:34 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
NotYourTypicalReditr · 8 points · Posted at 22:20:25 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Why not both?!
ld115 · 10 points · Posted at 23:10:43 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Because an animal with as freakish as a penis and rape-y as a duck is not particularly something I'd want horse sized... But to each their own.
HelloYesThisIsDuck · 7 points · Posted at 00:14:26 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What sized duck would you want? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Original-Newbie · 1 points · Posted at 00:18:14 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I guess that size is all you have to offer
Ltdslip · 1 points · Posted at 01:39:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Have you ever seen The Lost World? A group of chicken sized things can easily overtake you, let alone 100. One you can outsmart.
agent0731 · 1 points · Posted at 02:45:17 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I thought it was swans that raped
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 22:23:13 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Now back to Reddit for more conversational topics, thanks pal.
BaconIsBest · 1 points · Posted at 01:23:40 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Why not Zoidberg?
xXerisx · 4 points · Posted at 00:07:36 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Sigh, I asked Jason Mewes this question at Wizard Con, this year.
Im not very original.
notpite · 1 points · Posted at 00:13:25 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
At least give us his answer!
djevikkshar · 12 points · Posted at 00:15:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
He told him he wasn't very original.
SmashtheFunk · 1 points · Posted at 01:37:02 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It's not an original question but it's still hilarious.
PM_YOUR_HEELS_GIRLS · 2 points · Posted at 02:30:02 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
100 horse sized ducks.
Bring it the fuck on.
bomko · 1 points · Posted at 00:08:37 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
hey hey i actually used this one
beanbagquestions · 1 points · Posted at 00:26:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I read that completely wrong.
Ltdslip · 1 points · Posted at 01:40:53 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I ask this question constantly on Periscope. Everyone is always confused and doesn't get it and then I get blocked.
Avatar_Of_Brodin · 1 points · Posted at 01:57:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
One horse-sized duck if it just got scaled up by a rebigulator. Its caridovascular system and skeletal system wouldn't be able to handle the larger size and it would die of low blood pressure as its bones snapped. Basically, I'd win just by showing up.
Now, if science actually bred a horse-sized duck on the other hand....
Awxsome · 15 points · Posted at 00:07:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Did she say anything about you sitting on the toilet for 30 minutes?
Araucaria · 37 points · Posted at 23:54:49 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Before your next date, read this:
http://www.dangoldstein.com/howtoimprovise.html
logangrey123 · 7 points · Posted at 00:31:25 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Helpful
Avatar_Of_Brodin · 1 points · Posted at 01:59:34 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yes, and ask yourself "if this is true, then what else is true?"
Raise the stakes and take care of yourself. Don't deny it. Go against the voice of reason.
And remember that questions should give more than they take.
SmartAlec105 · 43 points · Posted at 23:08:20 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Oh my god! A Blue/Red penguin that's used properly!
Ihabk · 1 points · Posted at 01:34:01 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Your life sounds amazing. Getting excited about a proper use of a meme...
Don't hurt me I'm drunk
SmartAlec105 · 2 points · Posted at 01:45:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
NO ONE WILL EVER APPRECIATE YOUR ART!
Did I hurt you?
Ihabk · 0 points · Posted at 01:47:33 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Twice. With your comment and by not upvoting me
slicer4ever · 23 points · Posted at 23:52:01 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
would have been better had she called you a dirty reposter.
Roguenails · 18 points · Posted at 00:20:12 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
This just in! Boy takes a dump on a date, comes out a man!
[deleted] · 11 points · Posted at 00:29:32 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
'Holy shit!!!'
Ihabk · 1 points · Posted at 01:35:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What he said next will blow your mind
CardinalnGold · 7 points · Posted at 23:57:10 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
I've attempted to do this before, by looking at a few top posts before a date. TBF I usually don't run out of things to say, though, so I never had to actually bring any of them up (taking a few shots before I go out definitely makes me pretty chatty).
t3rneado · 4 points · Posted at 00:24:52 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You are welcome
F-O · 6 points · Posted at 00:36:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"So, how many Lamborghinis do you have in your Lamborghini account?"
Hipception · 5 points · Posted at 00:43:58 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Dinner date: 6/10
With Rice: 8/10
PM_YOUR_HEELS_GIRLS · 1 points · Posted at 02:31:20 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
distusting.
BestReadAtWork · 4 points · Posted at 00:16:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
As long as you took the context of the questions to heart, you grew as a social person today.
If you just spewed forth what you read without really registering anything to memory, you're gonna be taking a lot of shit breaks in the near future.
NotOBAMAThrowaway · 7 points · Posted at 00:33:46 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)*
Here's a great game to play with r/askreddit to keep a conversation going. It's kind of like "Family Feud"
You read a question like "What is your favorite "Bad guy wins" movie" and everyone gets ONE guess at what the top answer will be. Then you read the top answers and see who did the best. That often leads into a long conversation about people's opinion. But if things get quiet again, just repeat.
ok?
Good.
Let's play!
"What is the best theme song from a TV show?"
Think of your ONE answer.
Now check the results
hhh02000 · 3 points · Posted at 23:54:50 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
Link to the original post?
oldnyoung · 2 points · Posted at 00:20:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Was she a space or tab kind of girl?
AliasSigma · 2 points · Posted at 00:21:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
How many questions about her sexual conduct can you ask before they file a restraining order?
Dontwearthatsock · 4 points · Posted at 00:53:37 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Depends how fast she can run
penis_in_my_hand · 1 points · Posted at 02:28:03 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
And how good her hearing is
Alphax45 · 2 points · Posted at 00:38:12 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
1
questdragon47 · 2 points · Posted at 00:21:45 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
There was some article going around about 50 questions that researchers asked to make people fall in love. Ask those questions
wtf_randomness · 2 points · Posted at 02:57:06 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
It was 36 questions!
questdragon47 · 1 points · Posted at 06:08:34 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Thanks! Take an up vote for actually providing sources, unlike my lazy ass
s4embakla2ckle1 · 2 points · Posted at 01:13:36 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You know reddit's got your back homie. Most people are basically good and helpful- it's just the system that sometimes makes them seem like monsters.
yarash · 2 points · Posted at 01:14:37 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
How big is Batista's dick?
P_BUTT · 2 points · Posted at 01:27:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Who you think would win in a fight between... a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco?
Avogadro101 · 2 points · Posted at 01:47:05 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Here's a tip, when having a conversation with somebody new, ask probing questions that cannot be answered by a simple one word answer. This will allow them to say something more about themselves which will give you the ability to ask follow up questions. The goal is to ask enough follow up questions in order to stumble on to a common interest. This eventually leads to dialog between both of you. Two sided conversations are key. Another tip, if you ask a probing question, be prepared to answer that question yourself. Most people will answer your question, and then ask you the same in return. This is because either they subconsciously are hoping the conversation is going in a direction they are comfortable with, or they want the conversation to keep going. If they don't ask for you the same question, DO NOT interject your pre-thought out answer. If you do this, they will assume you were simply waiting for them to stop talking instead of listening to them. Asking a follow up question related to the topic or to something they said will show them you listened.
Or talk about your ex SO, that always works.
wahhagoogoo · 2 points · Posted at 00:09:04 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What sort of lame date were you on?
jokeyamind92 · 1 points · Posted at 03:39:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
The kind where two people talk to each other, probably
wahhagoogoo · 1 points · Posted at 08:40:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
About Reddit posts he just got from the bathroom? Wild. Hope he used protection.
jokeyamind92 · 1 points · Posted at 14:52:05 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I mean brainstorming things to talk about isn't bad..
yusbarrett · 2 points · Posted at 00:22:11 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Let me guess...
- What do you hate, but everyone loves?
- what TV show was canceled too soon/too far.
- what movie do you love that everyone hates?
- something something movie quote something something everyone.
- hypothetical situation, something something... weird twist.
Am I right, or am I right, or am I right?
sup3r_hero · 2 points · Posted at 00:26:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
ITT: a compilation of the best askreddit questions
Jakeafer420 · 1 points · Posted at 00:09:56 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Sly
Xellith · 1 points · Posted at 00:10:10 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
WHAT WERE THE QUESTIONS! I MUST KNOW!
sighs__unzips · 1 points · Posted at 00:11:14 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
When you get the chance for a home run go to /r/nsfwgifs for ideas.
nightcrawleronreddit · 1 points · Posted at 00:16:14 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Went to the popular thread and saw all the top questions weren't serious answers.
OP you did it all on your own.
Crixomix · 1 points · Posted at 00:19:14 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What were the questions you asked? just curious?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:28:36 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
See my comment a little further up the thread ^ :)
Lightbrand · 1 points · Posted at 00:20:03 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Sanders or Trump?
AppleDane · 1 points · Posted at 00:21:11 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Girls of this date: What's something horrible you do in the bathroom, that men doesn't know?
Theclash160 · 1 points · Posted at 00:27:18 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
np
KingAmongDorks · 1 points · Posted at 00:28:05 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Protip: never introduce her to Reddit, then you'll run out of things to talk about and you'll look boring AF.
ecir2002 · 1 points · Posted at 00:28:53 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Bring back memories of when I was in highschool and I would write down conversation topics to a girl I liked... That lasted 2 minutes until I ran out of things to talk about. I'm going to go cry now.
UnderneathTheBridge · 1 points · Posted at 00:29:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Link to the original post?
LSATurdayNightFever · 1 points · Posted at 00:30:37 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3HbEhizqXE
idontbelieveyourpost · 1 points · Posted at 00:43:53 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
jsmooth7 · 1 points · Posted at 00:46:26 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Did you ask her what tasty food would be distusting if eaten over rice, and then give her rankings for each suggestion?
PortlandPerson94 · 1 points · Posted at 00:47:00 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Where were you reading from?
eternalhails · 1 points · Posted at 00:47:40 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
SCUM vs. FETO
1leggeddog · 1 points · Posted at 00:52:03 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
How many duck sized horses have you fought ?
And how many horse sized ducks?
RGabrielShih · 1 points · Posted at 00:52:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Awesome.
FireDonut · 1 points · Posted at 00:53:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
If you reddit in the bathroom like I reddit in the bathroom you came back an hour later and now she thinks you were taking a wicked dump on a date.
Jaymuhson · 1 points · Posted at 00:59:47 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
/r/cringe
Conkeldurr · 1 points · Posted at 00:59:50 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Using AskReddit questions as Tinder openers tends to go well also.
2mice · 1 points · Posted at 01:02:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
shoulda did the naked man
ToolPackinMama · 1 points · Posted at 01:03:36 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Now I want to know what the questions were. :)
Xanethel · 1 points · Posted at 01:04:23 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Your potentional relationship won't last
I guarantee it.
daftne · 1 points · Posted at 01:04:39 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I actually spend a lot of time reading ask reddit to my bf for good discussion material. I'll ask him the question and that will fuel us for a good while. Other times we will have a pretty good time as I read other people's responses to him (he doesn't reddit).
SpringbobSquirepants · 1 points · Posted at 01:07:22 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You just cured your autism with autism. Double negatives don't not come out on top again.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:29:51 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
And they say two wrongs don't make a right.
Two Wrights make an airplane, on the other hand.
Sk8tr_Boi · 1 points · Posted at 01:07:49 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Hopefully, you won't be needing reddit anymore when she wants the d.... or do you?
mynameisjiev · 1 points · Posted at 01:09:43 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What makes you tick? (ELI5)
SnoopCat226 · 1 points · Posted at 01:13:58 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
"What's your favorite Pepe meme?"
LouieTheWrench · 1 points · Posted at 01:15:02 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
A redditor had a date, snuck off to go on reddit, quoted other redditors when he came back, and got a second date...
Uh huh.
catvideos22 · 1 points · Posted at 01:16:43 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Would you rather fight one horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?
Amiracle56 · 1 points · Posted at 01:17:55 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That is the saddest thing I've read all day. No offense to you OP, at least your date went well.
TheSmashPosterGuy · 1 points · Posted at 01:18:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
we did it reddit?
Kiarimarie · 1 points · Posted at 01:24:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
This is a great idea (though I guess it could get weird if one of you asks an overall personal question). I've historically just incessantly talk about myself because I never know what to ask people.
ninethirtyone · 1 points · Posted at 01:25:47 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I think you used this meme incorrectly. You're supposed to say "Ran out of things to say to a cute girl on a first date.
Cheetah_Ghost89 · 1 points · Posted at 01:37:51 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Where's the link?! Don't fucking ignore me OP
YourShadowDani · 1 points · Posted at 01:41:50 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Did this guy just crowdsource his date convo?
CRISPR · 1 points · Posted at 01:45:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What if I tell you that she went online too when you were absent and she knew your user name, and she fed you the answers and the questions. She played you like a fool, lucky bastard fool.
Lockedup4years · 1 points · Posted at 01:45:50 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
What question did you use? The "what's the weirdest good you can't believe people eat" or the one about "the funniest thing that ever happened to you during sex" or how about "the freakiest shit that gets you off" question
Orc_ · 1 points · Posted at 01:46:16 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
oh yea that askreddit about exes is a totally ladykiller
djklmnop · 1 points · Posted at 01:58:11 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Give op a year and he'll wish he didn't say so much on the first date
jonathino001 · 1 points · Posted at 01:59:22 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Genius. Fucking genius.
Bro1189 · 1 points · Posted at 02:00:36 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Sweet! Reddit pulling through for some random dude trying to find a relationship. There should be a subreddit for this kind of gentle work....perhaps r/hitch?
comp-sci-fi · 1 points · Posted at 02:03:18 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Cyreddito de Beardneck
IDoItAllLikeABoss · 1 points · Posted at 02:06:42 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Damn. This has never happened to me in my life. You have no genuine interest in that girl.
y2knole · 1 points · Posted at 02:09:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Do you fuck with the war?
manskies · 1 points · Posted at 02:13:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Do you fuck with the war?
TRMshadow · 1 points · Posted at 02:14:57 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
We did it Reddit!
mastermooney · 1 points · Posted at 02:20:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
This one from the front page right now is sure to get you somewhere. "You are Hitler's cat in 1938. How do you go about killing Hitler?"
akshgarg · 1 points · Posted at 02:20:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
OH. MY. GOD
sr41489 · 1 points · Posted at 02:26:22 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
this actually made me smile! :) good for you man!
TonytheEE · 1 points · Posted at 02:27:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I had my first road trip with my then gf, now wife once. I was terrified we would run out of topics and brought questions from the board game Loaded questions. Only needed a few for conversation starters. Never needed em again since.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 02:28:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You owe reddit your first-born child.
probably_another1 · 1 points · Posted at 02:31:59 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I was on a date last night and I was pretty sure my date was using questions from Reddit. .... Chris?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 02:33:24 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You'll get the bill, mister
CaterpieLv99 · 1 points · Posted at 02:34:29 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I've never had a girl not say "we should do this again", even when it was complete shit
Weedizlife · 1 points · Posted at 00:32:25 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Lol yeah, okay.
brick2552 · 1 points · Posted at 00:37:34 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
WE DID IT REDDIT!
Knight-of-Black · -2 points · Posted at 00:11:30 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
THIS IS FUCKING SAD LMAO
SlySychoGamer · 0 points · Posted at 01:54:04 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's right, none of you people are interesting enough to hold a conversation with. So you go straight to the internet to tell you how to act.
Holy shit, we are doomed to be drones. All hail the NWO where we are owned by one corporation and dress and act the same and think the same thing because cat pics say so.
schloopy91 · -6 points · Posted at 00:08:17 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
This is fucking pathetic.
anduin1 · 0 points · Posted at 00:06:35 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
what happens when you run out of questions?
billytheskidd · 1 points · Posted at 00:57:51 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
if you use RES it has that "never ending reddit" feature, so no worries.
Whaines · 1 points · Posted at 00:41:19 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
You're not supposed to rapid-fire through them.
settledownguy · 0 points · Posted at 00:21:15 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Cause...we know everything. Right? Yes!
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 01:19:07 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Can...can we, as a Reddit ensemble, go family-style on her?
agoddamnlegend · -3 points · Posted at 00:11:31 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
This is the saddest thing I've ever heard. How is human interaction such a foreign concept to so many people here?
S0maCruz · 1 points · Posted at 02:29:55 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
God I hate people like you, not everyone is extroverted asshole stop judging people because they're different from you
hugokhf · -1 points · Posted at 23:58:58 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
that's good advice, I always run out of things to say with people, might actually try and use that next time
KiraEatsKids · -1 points · Posted at 00:05:41 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I've actually done this myself. I try not to rely on it too much but it can definitely help
compactdigital1 · -1 points · Posted at 00:13:49 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's some quick thinking on your part. Good job, OP.
DontJumpPuppy · -8 points · Posted at 23:43:21 on June 24, 2016 · (Permalink)
None of this is socially awesome.
MontanaSD · -3 points · Posted at 00:06:48 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
First date fallback is always talk about them. People love the sound of their own voice and topics about themselves, especially women. Talk about other things or something they arent involved in and watch the eyes glaze over. If you talk about yourself and they pay attention or even followup, it means they have potential interest otherwise they would be on their phones instagramming and facebooking instead.
iheartsloths · 4 points · Posted at 00:20:21 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I think this says more about the women you're dating than women in general.
MontanaSD · 0 points · Posted at 00:22:38 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
Post has nothing to do with me. Its just general fact.
iheartsloths · 3 points · Posted at 00:30:39 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
I didn't say the post had anything to do with you. I'm saying your generalization of women is false. It's not a general fact that women will start facebooking or instagramming if you're not letting them talk about themselves or they aren't interested romantically. If that's your experience, then you're dating the wrong people. People with even a modicum of human decency will engage with the other person whether or not they're interested. They may not want another date, but they'll treat the other person with courtesy until the date is over.
Maybe I'm just old, but the thought of playing with my phone when someone -ANYONE- is talking to me is incomprehensible. Unless I they're complete asshats and the message I intend to convey is 'fuck off', and even then, hopefully I'd be less passive aggressive about it.
[deleted] · -6 points · Posted at 00:16:37 on June 25, 2016 · (Permalink)
If your truely this boring good luck