Wont allow multiplayer

Any time i go to play on our group realm it wont allow me and tells me its because of my Microsoft privacy settings. My settings ot xbox as well as in my acount itself allows everything,ieven uninstalled the app and redownloaded it. The only way that i can access it is if i go onto my friends account through my xbox, go online, open minecraft, sign back into my account and then go back onto minecraft. The other way is that one of my friends must be playing in order for me to play. I have updated my settings more than once, restarted the console and disconnected from the wifi. The only things that work are the above explained. This only happens to me as well, everyone else has no issue at all. If i could be given feed back that would be great. Thank you.