i cant join realms because u have the wrong settings. but where do i change that? the website doesnt help

i play on ps4, and a friend of mine made a realm, but she is on the switch. this should be no issue. i get her invite, but when i press the checkmark i get a ´error´ what says: "You cannot play online multiplayer because of how your Microsoft Account is set up. See instructions for reviewing and changing your privacy settings at aka.ms/MCMultiplayerHelp.". now when i go to that website, it gives me tons of things to check like check connection etc. but my connection is good, and it cant be hers because there are other people joining her too. now i think (as the 'error' says) i need to change my privacy settings. but that website doesnt show me where to change it