Infinite loading screen says:"search for the server" on ps4 but also on win10 edition

i want to join my friend, we have private world that functions as cb. I want to join there, then I come to the loading screen and there is an eternity search for the server, about 3 hours plus and nothing happens, but in the background I hear the lorries driving to my left, but in the game I also spawn still stuck in the loading screen? Please fix that asap. Because that does not only concern me THANKS