very high ping when playing with a friend

Hello. When connecting to a friend's world, it takes a long time to find the server (about a minute), and after connecting, I have a very high ping. It is impossible to play. The same thing happens when a friend connects to my world. At the same time, when we go to the servers from the "servers" tab, everything is perfect, no problems. Tell me what it can be?

 

I don't know if you can even call it a high PI.. When a friend connects to me, I see him running freely, breaking blocks, and so on, but he has a very long delay. Chunks are loaded very slowly (or do not load at all), blocks fall out after a minute