MC skins refuse to be uploaded

None of the Minecraft custom skins work. It either hits me with "That's not a Minecraft skin, silly!" screen or completely crashes my game. I have tried multiple different download places and ways of uploading it, but it always ended the same. Down below are the two versions of the skins I tried to upload.

If you look at the reviews of Minecraft and click on sort by custom skins, you can see a bunch of other people are having the same problem. I've tried all fixes and none of them work, so it has to be a Minecraft problem, not a client one.