I have a the requisite Nintentdo Switch Online account, but each time I try to join it fails

I get this error:

on the top it says "Nintendo online switch required",

then it says:

“To play in split screen multiplayer without a Nintendo switch online subscription, toggle the multi-player box to the off position in game settings. To play split screen multiplayer online, you will need a subscription to the Nintendo switch online service which can be purchased from the Nintendo eshop" 

 

After reaching out to Nintendo, they said I needed to talk to Mojang, which naturally gave me immense anger. Will someone please tell me why I am not getting what I am paying for?

Additionally when it actually did work, it would frequently take several minutes to actually connect, sometimes as many as 4 minutes.  No that isn't an exaggeration.

 

Ironically it is MY account (the one paying for the service), my son's account (in my family plan) seems fine.