Whenever I try to join a external server I am stuck in the locating server screen

Whenever I try to join my friends Minecraft server I get stuck on the locating server screen

• My avatar appears but I am stuck in the locating screen
• My friends can see I left the game but not join
• My screen sometimes flickers when I am on the locating screen
• My friends cannot hit/punch me when I am in the game
• My friends can join but I can't
• I can join featured servers but not external ones

Things I have tried

• restart router
• Restart Minecraft/redownload it
• sign out/sign in
• Update GPU drivers
• update software
• Disabling Windows 10 firewall
• Restarting pc
• going to box networking and checking NAT and server connectivity
• Changing to a different wifi
• Unplugging the second monitor
• Sat AFK for 2 hours trying to get it to load
• Checking for updates for Minecraft(don't have any)