[MCL-22982] Minecraft Launcher crashing immediately on MacOS Ventura 13.1

I just bought MC for my 2020 Mac Pro for the first time and I can't open it because the launcher crashes immediately. My Mac is up to date with Ventura 13.1 OS and I've tried installing both Java 8 and 17 to try and resolve the issue but no luck. Every time I uninstall/reinstall, the same bug type 309 comes up in the report. Here is the full crash report:

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Translated Report (Full Report Below)
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Process: launcher [1251]
Path: /Applications/Minecraft.app/Contents/MacOS/launcher
Identifier: com.mojang.minecraftlauncher
Version: 1.1.32 (1)
Code Type: X86-64 (Translated)
Parent Process: launchd [1]
User ID: 501

Date/Time: 2023-01-21 15:51:55.0117 -0500
OS Version: macOS 13.1 (22C65)
Report Version: 12
Anonymous UUID: CBA11F59-3D54-56FE-E581-CB8BA2D48327

Time Awake Since Boot: 1400 seconds

System Integrity Protection: enabled

Crashed Thread: 0 Dispatch queue: com.apple.main-thread

Exception Type: EXC_CRASH (SIGABRT)
Exception Codes: 0x0000000000000000, 0x0000000000000000

Application Specific Information:
abort() called

Thread 0 Crashed:: Dispatch queue: com.apple.main-thread
0 ??? 0x7ff8a18229a8 ???
1 libsystem_kernel.dylib 0x7ff8124b522a __pthread_kill + 10
2 libsystem_pthread.dylib 0x7ff8124ecf7b pthread_kill + 263
3 libsystem_c.dylib 0x7ff812436ca5 abort + 123
4 launcher 0x10d1ff71e ui::CefSetup::CefSetup(int, char**) + 478
5 launcher 0x10d17eaf2 ui::CefUI::CefUI(mojang::filesystem::base_filesystem&, int, char**) + 50
6 launcher 0x10d0e533e RunLauncher + 1646
7 launcher 0x100d86b52 LauncherPlugin::RunLauncher(std::{}1::basic_string<char, std::{}1::char_traits<char>, std::{}1::allocator<char> > const&, std::{}1::basic_string<char, std::{}1::char_traits<char>, std::{}1::allocator<char> > const&, std::{}1::basic_string<char, std::{}1::char_traits<char>, std::{_}_1::allocator<char> > const&, int, char**) const + 114
8 launcher 0x100d1fc9c StartLibrary(Settings&, int, char**) + 2572
9 launcher 0x100d0b28a main + 2554
10 dyld 0x2011bd310 start + 2432

Thread 1:: com.apple.rosetta.exceptionserver
0 runtime 0x7ff7ffbc7614 0x7ff7ffbc3000 + 17940
1 runtime 0x7ff7ffbd3530 0x7ff7ffbc3000 + 66864
2 runtime 0x7ff7ffbd4f30 0x7ff7ffbc3000 + 73520

Thread 2:
0 ??? 0x7ff8a18229a8 ???
1 libsystem_kernel.dylib 0x7ff8124b111a __psynch_cvwait + 10
2 libsystem_pthread.dylib 0x7ff8124ed7e1 _pthread_cond_wait + 1243
3 libc++.1.dylib 0x7ff812449cc3 std::{}1::condition_variable::{}do_timed_wait(std::{}1::unique_lock<std::{}1::mutex>&, std::{}1::chrono::time_point<std::{}1::chrono::system_clock, std::{}1::chrono::duration<long long, std::{_}_1::ratio<1l, 1000000000l> > >) + 93
4 launcher 0x100d40667 mojang::net::NetQueuePrivate::thread_fn() + 1927
5 launcher 0x100d45c0e void* std::{}1::{}thread_proxy<std::{}1::tuple<std::{}1::unique_ptr<std::{}1::{}thread_struct, std::{}1::default_delete<std::{}1::{_}_thread_struct> >, void (mojang::net::NetQueuePrivate::)(), mojang::net::NetQueuePrivate> >(void*) + 62
6 libsystem_pthread.dylib 0x7ff8124ed259 _pthread_start + 125
7 libsystem_pthread.dylib 0x7ff8124e8c7b thread_start + 15

Thread 3:
0 runtime 0x7ff7ffbe587c 0x7ff7ffbc3000 + 141436

Thread 4:
0 runtime 0x7ff7ffbe587c 0x7ff7ffbc3000 + 141436

Thread 5:
0 ??? 0x7ff8a18229a8 ???
1 libsystem_kernel.dylib 0x7ff8124b111a __psynch_cvwait + 10
2 libsystem_pthread.dylib 0x7ff8124ed7e1 _pthread_cond_wait + 1243
3 libc++.1.dylib 0x7ff812449cc3 std::{}1::condition_variable::{}do_timed_wait(std::{}1::unique_lock<std::{}1::mutex>&, std::{}1::chrono::time_point<std::{}1::chrono::system_clock, std::{}1::chrono::duration<long long, std::{_}_1::ratio<1l, 1000000000l> > >) + 93
4 launcher 0x100d40667 mojang::net::NetQueuePrivate::thread_fn() + 1927
5 launcher 0x100d45c0e void* std::{}1::{}thread_proxy<std::{}1::tuple<std::{}1::unique_ptr<std::{}1::{}thread_struct, std::{}1::default_delete<std::{}1::{_}_thread_struct> >, void (mojang::net::NetQueuePrivate::)(), mojang::net::NetQueuePrivate> >(void*) + 62
6 libsystem_pthread.dylib 0x7ff8124ed259 _pthread_start + 125
7 libsystem_pthread.dylib 0x7ff8124e8c7b thread_start + 15

Thread 0 crashed with X86 Thread State (64-bit):
rax: 0x0000000000000000 rbx: 0x0000000000000000 rcx: 0x0000000000000000 rdx: 0x0000000000000000
rdi: 0x0000600001f3e460 rsi: 0x0000000000000003 rbp: 0x0000000000000054 rsp: 0x0000000000000055
r8: 0x000000020125b2c0 r9: 0x0000000000000054 r10: 0x0000000000000000 r11: 0x0000600002c3cf6c
r12: 0x0000000000000103 r13: 0x000060000203fe10 r14: 0x0000000000000006 r15: 0x0000000000000016
rip: <unavailable> rfl: 0x0000000000000283
tmp0: 0xffffffffffffffff tmp1: 0x00007ff8a182297c tmp2: 0x00007ff8124b5220

Binary Images:
0x0 - 0xffffffffffffffff ??? <00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000> ???
0x7ff8124ad000 - 0x7ff8124e6ff7 libsystem_kernel.dylib <7c3dcc95-9f42-3c7c-8796-476ff67b9cf7> /usr/lib/system/libsystem_kernel.dylib
0x7ff8124e7000 - 0x7ff8124f2ff7 libsystem_pthread.dylib <5920e36f-53ec-33f0-b675-8ae48b58418c> /usr/lib/system/libsystem_pthread.dylib
0x7ff8123b5000 - 0x7ff81243dfff libsystem_c.dylib <376f7cb7-6dd2-3e00-976f-77dd755bdb0d> /usr/lib/system/libsystem_c.dylib
0x10d0db000 - 0x10d976fff com.mojang.mclauncher <644f2122-0533-3c03-8e7e-c3cefd95941a> /Users/USER/Library/Application Support/minecraft/*/launcher.bundle/Contents/MacOS/launcher
0x100cfc000 - 0x100e87fff com.mojang.minecraftlauncher (1.1.32) <b4bf629f-4934-3dc1-a5d9-3acde4c7fc8d> /Applications/Minecraft.app/Contents/MacOS/launcher
0x2011b7000 - 0x20124efff dyld <bb7a0970-8c62-3dce-a7a2-5cec9c501f11> /usr/lib/dyld
0x7ff7ffbc3000 - 0x7ff7ffbf2fff runtime <d592bc4a-4a21-348f-a406-e12f9cd2f27c> /usr/libexec/rosetta/runtime
0x7ff81243e000 - 0x7ff812496ff3 libc+.1.dylib <5c425ea0-066d-38b9-9db4-8d3885d78b6b> /usr/lib/libc+.1.dylib

External Modification Summary:
Calls made by other processes targeting this process:
task_for_pid: 0
thread_create: 0
thread_set_state: 0
Calls made by this process:
task_for_pid: 0
thread_create: 0
thread_set_state: 0
Calls made by all processes on this machine:
task_for_pid: 0
thread_create: 0
thread_set_state: 0

VM Region Summary:
ReadOnly portion of Libraries: Total=551.7M resident=0K(0%) swapped_out_or_unallocated=551.7M(100%)
Writable regions: Total=819.5M written=0K(0%) resident=0K(0%) swapped_out=0K(0%) unallocated=819.5M(100%)

VIRTUAL REGION
REGION TYPE SIZE COUNT (non-coalesced)
=========== ======= =======
Activity Tracing 256K 1
Kernel Alloc Once 8K 1
MALLOC 156.1M 16
MALLOC guard page 96K 4
MALLOC_MEDIUM (reserved) 120.0M 1 reserved VM address space (unallocated)
MALLOC_NANO (reserved) 384.0M 1 reserved VM address space (unallocated)
Rosetta Arena 4096K 2
Rosetta Generic 1044K 258
Rosetta IndirectBranch 384K 2
Rosetta JIT 128.0M 1
Rosetta Return Stack 100K 10
Rosetta Thread Context 100K 10
STACK GUARD 8K 2
Stack 10.0M 5
Stack Guard 56.0M 3
VM_ALLOCATE 12.7M 9
__CTF 756 1
__DATA 21.8M 365
__DATA_CONST 19.7M 212
__DATA_DIRTY 865K 123
__FONT_DATA 2352 1
__LINKEDIT 177.8M 10
__OBJC_RO 65.4M 1
__OBJC_RW 1985K 2
__TEXT 374.0M 387
dyld private memory 256K 1
mapped file 4.1G 1235
shared memory 628K 8
unshared pmap 2816K 2
=========== ======= =======
TOTAL 5.6G 2674
TOTAL, minus reserved VM space 5.1G 2674

(Full report below)