Unable to connect to Minecraft Services

The new Minecraft Launcher for Windows allows me to be logged in. But won't "connect to minecraft services" leaving me completely stranded, unable to play the games I rightfully own even in offline mode.

I am NOT a Game Pass subscriber and own all the Minecraft titles for multiple years.

Restarting or reinstalling the launcher does not work in my circumstance.

(Would like to note I also moved my profiles over to this new launcher, which is why you see an Optifine profile. even in a completely fresh profile system it still doesn't connect.)