Minecraft not responding

Ok so everytime I get into Minecraft I go into a server btw before we start i have to say i have tried this with all versions and all yt fixes nothing worked ok so lets get into this when i go into a server theres always 2 things that happends the first is server lagg which is only laggy for me while not other players and when i tab out my mc start not responding and the other thing that happends is that i play for a bit then it auto get not responding I would love help from anyone.Btw in the text docuemnt it ends as some ppl talks it bcz my mc not responding and dead