Crash upon launch, during splash screen

Well, I just launched the game and I expected it to direct me to the Main Menu so I could access other menus and play.
Instead, while it's loading, waiting on the splash screen (the screen with the Mojang logo), it crashes. I have attached a screenshot of the error report, for more detail.

Steps to Reproduce:
1. Open the launcher
2. On the version to use, select 14w29b (latest as of the time I'm writing this)
3. Launch the game