When I try to install the new launcher, my game crashes

Put the summary of the bug you're having here

What I expected to happen was...:
I expected to download the new launcher and be on my merry way, playing the game
What actually happened was...:
When I attempted (five times in two days) to install the new launcher, I received a message each time informing me that my game had crashed. Thinking it might be a problem with Java, I updated to the newest version of Java. This failed to resolve the issue. The instructions I have been given by the Support Center have not fixed the problem, and I am at a loss of what to do.

Steps to Reproduce:
1. Open Minecraft
2. Click on the link to install the new launcher
3. Download the new launcher from the Minecraft website
4. Press "Play" in the bottom right corner of the Window labeled Minecraft Launcher 1.0.8
5. Wait for the game to crash