My MC launcher keeps saying we have found an error and MC has crashed?! What is the error and how would I fix it?!

My launcher keeps saying uhoh MC has crashed!
What I expected to happen was...:
It would just turn on like it does on my other PC and Mac
What actually happened was...
It crashed

Steps to Reproduce:
1. Run the launcher
2. Login ur username/email
3. Watch it ALMOST launch and then crash