Every time I open Minecraft it crashes.

I open Minecraft, press play, then it pulls up the screen where it says Mojang, but crashes right after.

I expected to open the game and have zero problems, just get on and start playing without an issue.

I get on to play, and the game crashes and pulls up a white page that explains what went wrong, in computer language, which I do not understand even a little bit.

Steps to Reproduce:
1. Open game
2. ...wait for white background with Mojang on it, in the middle of the screen.
3. ...BAM! Sends me back to the start where I can click play or report to Mojang.