Okay, fine, you still want a Valentine's Day theme with this one? "As Ganondorf and Bowser shook mighty hands, their eyes met for the first time. Initially thinking he got the better end of the deal, Bowser could suddenly only focus on one thing: the impressive fullness of Ganondorf's eyebrows, poetically mirroring his own. Ganondorf, meanwhile, had never felt the ironclad grip of a spiny turtle monster before, and was instantly impressed. As his thoughts wavered from his plan to defeat Link, he slowly began to wonder what his new friend's scaly arms would feel like gently wrapped around his shoulders…"